Kylo Ren x Reader
“Please Don’t Leave Me”
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It was only supposed to be another day. But you felt it. You felt it in the air, in the way he moved across the room. His thick eyebrows narrow and his dark eyes surrounded by sleepless dark circles. Something was different, and you couldn’t place your finger on it.
Kylo was tense, his shoulders hunched over the table as he looked down at his helmet. His gloved hands grasping at the edge while his pitch black hair fell in front of his eyes. He had been standing there for 20 minutes now. It was still early morning before Kylo would put on the helmet, concealing his identity for the day until he’d see you again. Despite your guys’ usual small conversations in the mornings with hushed voices and soft kisses, he was quiet, not saying a word to you. You knew something was wrong from the second you woke up. He was already up, showered, and dressed, not in his usual spot beside you with his strong arms hooked around your small body… The bed sheets were instead cold around you. Usually, he was the last one ready for the day, lazily moving about the morning after you with heavy steps. Sighing, you grabbed a shirt from the closet, noticing Kylo walk over to the table that had his helmet propped up inside it. You buttoned the front of your shirt, walking slowly behind him. He could feel you there, nearing him. Your energy seeping out of your heart as you yearned to touch him, to say something. To comfort him. But you didn’t dare. Days like these… He became unpredictable. Even towards you. Fear built up in your stomach. Though he’s never touched you before, you knew how ill-tempered he was.
Pushing your voice out, it came out as a whisper. “Ben…” He only let you call him by his real name. It wasn’t like he could stop you, but somehow, it make his heart squeeze and his breath hitch as a shiver ran down his back. He loved it.
Watching him, you sensed his body only growing colder as the seconds went on, and you swallowed. He had been getting stressed out more easily, more frequently throughout the last two weeks. Ever since Snoke stopped his training. Kylo didn’t understand why, which lead him to ask more and more questions. Too many questions. Snoke would continually say. But Kylo was impatient, arrogant. You knew this, yet, despite your friends’ warnings, you stayed with him.
Striding towards him, you then latched your arms around his waist, pulling his back against your chest. He was much taller than you, bigger, so you had to wrap your arms tightly around him in order to interlock your fingers, but he didn’t mind the feeling. Resting your forehead against the thick fabric of his shirt, you breathed out and felt him relax a little. But that didn’t stop the coldness of his energy making you grit your teeth. “It’s okay.” You murmured. “I know how it may seem-“ Kylo’s head then shot up, and he pulled you off of him.
“No. No, it’s not okay, y/n. You have no fucking idea.” He ran his long fingers through his hair. Burying them deep into the raven waves that fell heavily around his pale face.
“It’s Snoke isn’t it-“
He shot a sharp gaze towards your direction, and you swallowed your words. Hesitantly, you reached out to him. Mistake. As soon as your fingers lightly grazed his chin, Kylo’s hand shot up, and he threw it down. His voice cracking as he shouted at you. His fingers still wrapped tightly around your wrist. Pain shot up your arm and your fingers grew numb.
“Stop trying to help me! STOP! JUST STOP! YOU CAN’T!” Suddenly you couldn’t move. His booming voice making tears stream down your face. His lips were quivering as he stood only inches from you. Your body was numb, straining under his pressure.
“Ben-“ Your voice was raspy, and you gasped for air. He had you under his grip. Holding you in his anger. The force swirled around you, binding you, choking you. “Ben-“
Suddenly, his face softened and his eyes widened. You felt him release you, and you nearly collapsed to the ground with weakness. But Kylo lunged toward you, grabbing you so that you didn’t fall.
“I’m sorry-Y/n I’m so sorry. Please-Are you okay? Fuck-Oh god-I’m so sorry.” Once you regained your strength, you pressed your hands against his chest, shoving him off of you. Startled by your sudden strength, he tripped back a step. But then moved towards you again. You held up your hands.
“Don’t, touch, me.” Your voice was hard, and it felt like you had just slapped him in the face. Guilt filled your heart, but fear still shook you to your core. Your wrist throbbing-you didn’t look down to examine it, but you could still feel his fingertips digging into your skin.
“I have to go.” Quickly turning around, you rushed for the door. But Kylo beat you there. He then fell to his knees. Before you could do anything, he had wrapped his arms around your small waist, pulling you against him. Burying his face in the fabric of your shirt. You stood there, shutting your eyes. Holding your shaky hands in the air, Kylo’s shoulders shook against you. Looking down, you then pressed your eyebrows together, and gently pushed your fingers through his hair. Moving his head back so he looked up at you. His face was tear-stained with red-rimmed eyes. Big, puffy, chocolate brown eyes. You felt a wave of sadness crash over you.
“Please-I can’t lose you. Please don’t leave me.” His voice wavered against the pressure of his emotions, and you clenched your jaw. Lowering yourself to the ground, he leaned into you, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck and pulling you tightly against him. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and held him. Tears streamed down your face and you leaned your head down. “I didn’t mean to… I didn’t mean to… I didn’t-…”
You hushed him, closing your eyes and letting your tears soak into his shirt. “I know. I know.”