butter-your-muffin

buzz | 1.0 (m)

Originally posted by bwiyowo

 pairing: min yoongi x reader
• genre/warnings: smut, masturbation with a twist, non-penetrative sex toy usage 
• words: 4,851
→ summary: in which you’re unsure if you’ve ever received an orgasm and when you finally pluck up the courage to use the vibrator you bought that one day on a whim, Yoongi barges through the door…
• note. sometimes I should never be left alone with my thoughts…

» 1.0 | 2.0 | 3.0  ✓  
yoongi’s pov +

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Mean Girls Starters
  • ❝If you're from Africa, why are you white?❞
  • ❝Oh my God, [name], you can't just ask people why they're white.❞
  • ❝Boo, you whore!❞
  • ❝Nice wig, [name]. What's it made of?❞
  • ❝Your Mom's chest hair!❞
  • ❝On Wednesdays we wear pink!❞
  • ❝Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining [name]'s life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.❞
  • ❝Hey, buddy, you're not pretending anymore. You're plastic. Cold, shiny, hard plastic.❞
  • ❝You know what! It's not my fault you're like, in love with me, or something!❞
  • ❝See? That's the thing with you plastics. You think everybody is in love with you when actually, everybody HATES you! Like, [name], for example, he broke up with Regina and guess what? He still doesn't want you! So why are you still messing with [name], [name]? I'll tell you why, because you are a mean girl! You're a bitch! Here. You can have this. It won a prize.❞
  • ❝And I want my pink shirt back! I want my pink shirt back!❞
  • ❝That is so fetch!❞
  • ❝Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!❞
  • ❝God! I am so sorry [name]. Really, I don't know why I did this. I guess it's probably because I've got a big lesbian crush on you! Suck on that! AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!❞
  • ❝[Name], I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles. And I'm sorry for telling everyone about it. And I'm sorry for repeating it now.❞
  • ❝And none for [name], bye!❞
  • ❝Get in loser, we're going shopping.❞
  • ❝Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers.❞
  • ❝I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...❞
  • ❝She doesn't even go here!❞
  • ❝Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George?❞
  • ❝I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.❞
  • ❝I hear she does car commercials... in Japan.❞
  • ❝Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.❞
  • ❝One time she met John Stamos on a plane... And he told her she was pretty.❞
  • ❝One time she punched me in the face... it was awesome.❞
  • ❝Why are you eating a Kalteen bar?❞
  • ❝Man, I hate those things. Coach Carr makes us eat those when we want to move up a weight class.❞
  • ❝Why should Caesar just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar, right? Brutus is just as smart as Caesar, people totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that's not what Rome is about! We should totally just STAB CAESAR!❞
  • ❝[Name] had cracked.❞
  • ❝Hell, no. I did *not* leave the South Side for this!❞
  • ❝Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin, 'cause I use super-jumbo tampons, but I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina!❞
  • ❝There's a 30% chance that it's already raining!❞
  • ❝I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't help it that I'm so popular.❞
  • ❝I gave him everything! I was half a virgin when I met him.❞
  • ❝Do you wanna do something fun? Wanna go to taco bell?❞
  • ❝I can't go to taco bell, I'm on an all-carb diet. GOD [name] you're so stupid!❞
  • ❝It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.❞
  • ❝That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I've ever seen.❞
  • ❝She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Streudels.❞
  • ❝That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets.❞
  • ❝She's the queen bee - the star, those other two are just her little workers.❞
  • ❝And they have this book, this burn book, where they write mean things about all the girls in our grade.❞
  • ❝Oh my God - Danny DeVito! I love your work!❞
  • ❝At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia... and die.❞
  • ❝Is butter a carb?❞
  • ❝You can't sit with us!❞
  • ❝Fine! You can walk home, bitches.❞
  • ❝And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.❞
  • ❝My grandma takes her wig off when she's drunk.❞
  • ❝I love her. She's like a Martian!❞
  • ❝Are they not suppose to be let out when they're grounded?❞
  • ❝She thinks she's gonna have a party and not invite me? Who does she think she is?❞
  • ❝I like invented her, you know what I mean?❞
  • ❝I just want you to know, if you ever need anything, don't be shy, OK? There are NO rules in the house. I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom.❞
  • ❝Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya.❞
  • ❝Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.❞
  • ❝Sorry, we only carry sizes 1, 3, and 5. You could try Sears.❞
  • ❝Regina George is not sweet! She's a scum-sucking road whore, she ruined my life!❞
  • ❝I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that's only because I was acting like a bitch.❞
  • ❝Your face smells like peppermint!❞
  • ❝Oh, you'll get socialized all right, a little slice like you.❞
  • ❝You're a regulation hottie.❞
  • ❝We do not have a clique problem at this school.❞
  • ❝But you do have to watch out for "frenemies".❞
  • ❝I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend... so, just promise me you won't make fun of her!❞
  • ❝Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that's not good.❞
  • ❝I don't hate you cuz yo' fat... yo' fat cuz I hate you!❞
  • ❝You smell like a baby prostitute.❞
  • ❝Is your muffin buttered?❞
  • ❝Jason, you do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen and then scam on some poor innocent girl right in front of us three days later. She's not interested. Do you want to have sex with him?❞
  • ❝Good. So it's settled. So you can go shave your back now. Bye, Jason.❞
  • ❝Finally, Girl World was at peace.❞
  • ❝Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics.❞
  • ❝Damn, Africa, what happened?❞
  • ❝I saw [name] wearing army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip flops.❞
  • ❝Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?❞
  • ❝Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. They're hard as rocks.❞
  • ❝Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries.❞
  • ❝Okay, I'm going to forgive you because I'm a very Zen person... and I'm on a lot of pain medication right now.❞
  • ❝Can you believe my f-ing mom is here?❞
  • ❝I have this theory, that if you cut off all her hair she'd look like a British man.❞
  • ❝I care. Every year the seniors through this dance for the underclassmen called the Spring Fling. And whosoever is elected King and Queen automatically become head of the Student Activities Committee and since I am an active member of the Student Activities Committee, I would safely say, I care.❞
  • ❝Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean that's just like the rules of feminism.❞
  • ❝Did your teacher ever try to sell you marijuana or ecstasy tablets?❞
  • ❝What are marijuana tablets?❞
  • ❝You cannot do that. That is social suicide. Damn! You are so lucky you have us to guide you.❞
  • ❝Oh, I love seeing teachers outside of school. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs.❞
  • ❝Everyone in Africa knows Swedish.❞
  • ❝Made out with a hot dog? Oh my God that was one time!❞
  • ❝I know having a boyfriend might seem like the only thing important to you right now, but you don't have to dumb yourself down in order for a guy to like you.❞
  • ❝Come on! We could publish it and then everybody would see what an ax-wound she really is!❞
  • ❝And you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week, so I guess you chose today.❞
  • ❝She's not even that good looking if you really look at her.❞
  • ❝I don't know, now that she's getting fatter she's got pretty big jugs.❞
  • ❝Watch out please! Fresh meat coming through!❞
  • ❝I'd rather see you out there shakin' that thang.❞
  • ❝You can do this. There's nothing to break your focus, because not one of those Marymount boys is cute.❞
  • ❝There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it.❞
  • ❝Well, I mean you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you.❞
  • ❝The limit does not exist!❞
  • ❝I just wanted to say that you're all winners. And that I couldn't be happier the school year is ending.❞
  • ❝It's called the South Beach Fat Flush and all you drink is cranberry juice for 72 hours.❞
  • ❝She's fabulous, but she's evil.❞
  • ❝So, are you gonna send any candy canes?❞
  • ❝No. I don't send them, I just get them. So you better send me one, byotch.❞
  • ❝'Cause she's a life ruiner. She ruins people's lives.❞
  • ❝Oh no, I can't say anything else until I have a parent or lawyer present.❞
  • ❝Did you see nipple? It only counts if you saw a nipple!❞
  • ❝Oh, no. It was coming up again, word vomit... no, wait a minute... Actual vomit.❞
  • ❝Grool... I meant to say cool and then I started to say great.❞
  • ❝I'm a cool mom! Right Regina?❞
  • ❝Good news, they didn't get run over... Bad news, they're still flat.❞
  • ❝Hey, hey, hey. How are my best girlfriends?❞
  • ❝Oh god, busted! Just start apologizing and crying. No, play it cool.❞
  • ❝I mean no offense, but how could she send you a candy cane? She doesn't even like you that much. Maybe she feels weird around me because I'm the only person who knows about her nose job. Oh my god, pretend you didn't hear that.❞
the gang as mean girls quotes

Ponyboy: “That is so fetch!”

Darry: “Grool.”

Sodapop: “You go, Glen Coco!”

Johnny: “It’s October 3rd.”

Dallas: “Is your muffin buttered?”

Steve: “Your mom’s chest hair!”

Two-Bit: “Yo, Yo, Yo! Aaaaaall, youuuuu Suckah emcee’s ain’t got nothin’ on me! On my grades, on my lines. You can’t touch Kevin G! I’m a Mathlete, so nerd is inferred. But forget what you heard, I’m like James Bond the Third. Sh-Sh-Shaken, not stirred. I’m Kevin Gnapoor. The G is silent when I sneak in your door, and make love to your woman on the bathroom floor. I don’t play it like Shaggy. You’ll know it was me. Cuz the next time you see her she be like “Ohhh! Kevin G!!!”

Watched Mean Girls and then this was born…Eldarya characters as Mean Girls quotes (I just found this funny to think about)

Miiko: “Okay, I’m going to forgive you because I’m a very Zen person…and I’m on a lot of pain medication right now.”

Alajéa: “That’s why her hair is so big, it’s full of secrets.”

Eweleïn: “Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don’t have sex in the missionary position, don’t have sex standing up, just don’t do it! OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers.”

Nevra: “Is your muffin buttered? Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?”

Ezarel: “I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me…but I can’t help it that I’m so popular.”

Ykhar: “I’m sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It’s not your fault you’re so gap-toothed.”

Keroshane: “Your face smells like peppermint!”

Valkyon: “And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs.”

Karenn: “Get in loser, we’re going shopping.”

Leiftan: “Boo, you whore!”

Chrome: “One time, she punched me in the face. It was AWESOME.”

Jamon: “There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.”

BONUS
Ezarel with mustache: “You go Glenn Coco!”

Seventeen as quotes from Mean Girls

Junghan: “I hear her hair is insured for 10,000 dollars”

S.Coups: “Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don’t have sex in the missionary position, don’t have sex standing up, just don’t do it, okay! Promise? Okay, now everybody take some rubbers.”

Joshua: I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school.. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everybody would eat it and be happy..”

Seungkwan: “She doesn’t even go here!”

Wonwoo: “I just have a lot of feelings”

Mingyu:” Is your muffin buttered? …. Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?”

Hoshi:” Oh hi! Did you want to buy some drugs?”

Dino: “What are marijuana tablets?”

Jun: “She is fabulous. But she is evil.”

The8: “ Grool… I meant to say cool and then I started to say great.”

Woozi: “Talk to me again and I’ll kick your ass!”

DK: “I love seeing teachers outside of school. It’s like seeing a dog walk on its’ hind legs”

Vernon: “ Yo, yo, yo. All you sucka MC’s ain’t got nothing on me, from my grades to my rhymes you can’t touch Kevin G. I’m a mathlete, so nerd is inferred but forget what you heard I’m like James Bond the third. Shaken not stirred I’m Kevin Gnapoor. The G’s silent when I sneak in your door. I make love to your woman on the bathroom floor. I don’t play like Shaggy, you’ll know it was me, cuz the next time you see her she’ll be like “ohhh Kevin G.”

Master post of 53 popular Mean Girls quotes.
  1. Get in loser. We’re going shopping.
  2. Ex-boyfriends are off-limits to friends. That’s just, like, the rules of feminism.
  3. We only carry sizes one, three and five. You could try Sears.
  4. That’s why her hair is so big. It’s full of secrets.
  5. It’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it’s going to rain. Well… they can tell when it’s raining.
  6. But you’re, like, really pretty… So you agree? You think you’re really pretty?
  7. Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya.
  8. I don’t hate you ‘cause your fat. You’re fat ‘cause I hate you!
  9. I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.
  10. I want to lose three pounds.
  11. ’Cause she’s a life ruiner. She ruins people’s lives.
  12. Regina George is not sweet! She’s a scum-sucking road whore, she ruined my life!
  13. If only you knew how mean she really is, you’d know that I’m not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? Yeah, two years ago she told me hoops earrings were her thing, and I wasn’t allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hanukkah my parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoops and I had to pretend like I didn’t even like them. It was so sad.
  14. On Wednesdays we wear pink.
  15. Made out with a hot dog? Oh my God that was one time!
  16. Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What’s so great about Caesar? Hmm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that’s not what Rome is about. We should totally just stab Caesar!
  17. You smell like a baby prostitute.
  18. I’m sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It’s not your fault you’re so gap-toothed.
  19. I guess it’s probably because I’ve got a big lesbian crush on you! Suck on that.
  20. I can’t go to Taco Bell. I’m on an all-carb diet.
  21. If you’re from Africa, why are you white? — You can’t just ask people why they’re white!
  22. There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.
  23. I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.
  24. Gretchen, I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles. And I’m sorry for telling everyone about it. And I’m sorry for repeating it now.
  25. She doesn’t even go here!
  26. Whatever, I’m getting cheese fries.
  27. He’s too gay to function.
  28. Here we go again. Word vomit. No…this time actual vomit.
  29. FOUR FOR YOU GLEN COCO YOU GO GLEN COCO….And none for Gretchen Weiners bye.
  30. Boo you Whore!
  31. I hear her hair is insured for $10,000.
  32. That is the ugliest effing skirt I have ever seen.
  33. She’s fabulous, but she’s evil.
  34. Don`t have sex. Cause you will get pregnant. And die.
  35. You can`t sit with us!
  36. Is butter a carb?
  37. Oh, hi wanna buy some drugs?
  38. I WANT MY PINK SHIRT BACK!
  39. My nail beds suck.
  40. It’s not my fault you’re like, in love with me, or something!
  41. I did not leave the south side for this!
  42. Nice wig Janice, what’s it made of? — Your mom’s chest hair!
  43. One time, I saw Regina George wearing army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip flops.
  44. Sweatpants are all that fits me right now.
  45. That is so fetch!
  46. Stop trying to make fetch happen.
  47. I can’t. *fake cough* I’m sick.
  48. Grool! 
  49. The limit does not exist.
  50. Is your muffin buttered? Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?
  51. I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me. But I can’t help it I’m so popular.
  52. COACH CARR, STEP AWAY FROM THE UNDERAGED GIRLS
  53. If you had never met me, you would be a complete loser

Regina Makes the First Move

31 Days of Fanon Swan Queen, Day 1:  Who makes the first move? How does it go?

Summary:  Regina has decided to tell Emma that she wants to be more than friends.  Let’s see what happens!

———-

“Okay, today is the day,” Mayor Regina Mills chanted repeatedly to herself as she proudly walked down Main Street.  She could have magically transported herself from City Hall to Granny’s Diner, but she felt that some time spent in the sunshine and fresh air would give her time to think of a plan.  Coming to a significant and life-altering realization just a few nights ago, had made Regina feel lighter than she had in many years.  It was as if finally admitting her true feelings to herself was like a weight lifted finally, proving that the old adage was true.  The truth shall set you free.

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