butstilleating

Marrying Min Yoongi

SeriesPark Jimin | Jung Hoseok | Jeon Jungkook | Kim Namjoon | Kim Seokjin | Kim Taehyung

Originally posted by kuromel

  • So, we’re talking about our boi Yoongi here
  • he’s like this aesthetic fluff grump hybrid but
  • still, a total sweetheart
  • so when he proposes to you, your head sort of combusts and your heart flies out of your mouth like ??!?!?!?!?! because you’re honestly so excited and WHY’D IT TAKE SO LONG MIN YOONGI U LITTLE
  • but it’s okay now because you’re getting married
  • M-A-R-R-I-E-D
  • to be frank, you do have your doubts
  • it just seems too good to be true, that’s all
  • and you haven’t had the best experiences with relationships
  • somehow it feels like people only ever liked using you, and throwing you aside once they were done
  • and the fact that you’ve lasted this long with Yoongi is really shocking
  • each day’s passed by with you literally counting the seconds
  • waiting for the bomb to finally explode
  • so now that he’s actually proposed to you makes you feel entirely overwhelmed
  • and when you take to hanging around him, he doesn’t seem to mind
  • most days leading up to your wedding are spent on the couch, in bed
  • doing the dirty ofc ;))) but also just cuddling
  • you particularly like to listen to his heartbeat
  • because it’s a way to remind yourself that he’s still there
  • that he’s still putting up with you
  • that he’s willing to put up with you for the rest of his life
  • but a part of you’ s still scared that he’s gonna realize how much of an actual headache you are
  • and that he’s going to just leave you
  • so the rest of the pre-wedding phase goes on like that
  • things get a little hectic and you can’t see Yoongi as often
  • tho he does send you dumb pics of himself (or maybe that’s hobi but that’s not the point here) and messages and calls you a ton
  • so you feel a little better but you still need his physical presence
  • crave it, actually
  • which is why the first thing you do when you see him at the aisle is tug desperately on your dad’s arm
  • asking him to walk faster damn it
  • and when you finally reach him, eyes catching onto his form-fitting suit
  • you smoothen out his collar because he still gets it wrong
  • and step back all awkwardly
  • except there’s something in yoongi’s eyes that has you hesitating
  • and before the priest can even say anything, he’s taking your hand and pulling you close to him, with barely a millimeter’s gap
  • “we’d like to continue like this.” He says, and you can feel the heat from his hands seeping into your cold ones
  • you’ve never been happier for a winter wedding than right now
  • and the rest of the ceremony goes like that, with the two of you holding hands and breathing the same air
  • when it comes to the vows, yoongi’s being the most heartfelt you’ve ever heard him
  • he talks about how much he loves you, like you’re his muse and that he’s never going to let you go
  • he says that there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you, he’d even go so far as to drop music to make you happy, and that he’ll never ever leave you
  • and it’s like he’s hitting the nail right on its head, and the tears just start flowing out, embarrassingly enough
  • and his thumbs wipe away your tears oh-so-gently
  • “Y/N, I don’t ever want you to cry because of me.”
  • you feel like your vows pale in comparison
  • and youre hiccupping through the entire speech, only able to manage even that because of yoongi’s strong, gentle grip on your wrists
  • and when the two of you finally kiss, it’s like you’re coming home
  • of course, all of Bangtan is there as well
  • and they all sort of rush at you once you break apart for air
  • so you’re tackled by taehyung’s gangly body and you laugh even through your tears at the sight of yoongi’s disgusted expression as he’s manhandled by hobi
  • but that night is the best night of them all, no kidding
  • and the two of you leave the very next morning, headed to the Caribbean, where you’ve always wanted to go
  • and on your very first evening there, he takes you for a lamp-lit dinner
  • it’s right near the beach, and it’s outside so you can hear the waves gently lapping at the shore
  • it’s actually perfect
  • and it’s once you’ve bulldozed through the entire course of your meal that Yoongi finally takes a hold of your hand
  • and the light bounces of your matching rings, making them sparkle so prettily in the night
  • but then he presses something into your hand, gently closing your fingers around it before retreating
  • and you feel kind of hurt, but he communicates through his eyes to look at the goddamn thing Y/N
  • and you do, and your heart nearly stops when you see it’s a tiny mp3 player
  • “well?” he asks, with a nervous smile playing at his lips, “there are earphones too.”
  • so you plug them in, totally nervous but heart also beating at like 1009029092 miles a minute
  • and then you hear music, which is unsurprising but
  • your eyes actually fly open when you realize yoongi’s singing
  • even though you’ve been pushed down, again and again, I’m always by your side.’
  • and you can’t stop the tears this time, finally meeting yoongi’s eyes
  • and it’s like he knows what part of the verse you’re at because he mouths along the next line, smiling his gummy smile
  • and don’t you ever forget it.


NSFW Extra:

  • so the two of you are very…involved in the honeymoon phase
  • i mean, it’s to be expected
  • and you can hardly get a break when you try to make a break for the beach
  • because somehow, Yoongi manages to have his way with you even then
  • like, the boi has somehow managed to find many uses of your swimsuit that even you’ve never realized ;)
  • so you get pissed off one day because yo, my back and my feet and my everything needs a break xcuse ur horny ass
  • so when he’s taking one of his routine naps, you tie him up
  • with satin, ofc because you don’t want to hurt him any more than you need to
  • and the look of pure shock on his face is well worth it
  • especially when you get to toy with him like no tomorrow
  • needless to say, min yoongi is putty in your hands by the time you pull the big guns out
  • and well, even when he takes his revenge once you free him
  • you realize it’s totally worth it
  • because, you can’t deny that even the revenge is sweet ;)

Originally posted by remartins97

Written By: (The perfectly annoyed) Admin Midnight

Never Had

@wanderlustingandwandering asked: Could I possibly get a coffee shop!au where the reader is a barista and Poe is one of the local hipster musicians that plays on open mic nights? Pretty Please with sugar on top?

Author: Zoe

(A/N: I recently listened to Oscar Isaac’s ‘Never Had’ and just thought it would be perfect for this prompt, so I kinda turned it into a songfic!)

Plot Summary: You and Poe have lived in the same small town since you were young, and stayed friends since childhood as others moved away. Move along to your adult years, and not too much has changed.  You work as a barista in a small cafe, a job you genuinely enjoy. Part of it being a good job, the other being your friend performing every Friday on open mic nights. You enjoy the slowness, the safety and security of nothing ever changing. However, when he dedicates to you a song he wrote when you were young, is the same thing, over and over, worth it?

I recommend listening to Oscar Isaac’s ‘Never Had’ while reading this fic!

Originally posted by germanladybug1980

“Two coffees, one black, one with two sugars and cream?” You called out into the half-filled cafe as a teenage couple picked up their order.

“Thank you!” The girl smiled, as you returned the gesture.

“It’s nothing. Enjoy the show, my friend should be here pretty soon.” You waved as they sat at their table, before you stretched your arms from behind the counter.

As you leaned your back against the fridge, you heard the familiar bell jingle as the cafe’s door opened.

“Hi, what can I get for you?” You said, not even bothering to look up.

“Come on, Y/N. You can’t remember what this handsome face always gets?” Your eyes shot up as Poe chuckled, yourself sighing.

“Poe, you have to call me so I can get yours ready beforehand, you know that!” You smiled, hugging him from over the counter.

“Sorry! Just wanted to surprise you tonight. I have a big surprise for tonight’s open mic.”

“Oh really? Another one of your covers?” You joked as he shoved you lightly.

“No, you’ll see it soon!”

You groaned jokingly as you got his usual ready. “Poe, you can’t just tell me something and then leave me in the dark!”

“Sorry, Y/N. That’s the way life works!” He chuckled as you whined.

“You’re lucky we’ve been friends for so long, or I would have just not even bothered to make your coffee for you.” You smirked, setting his mug down as he sat on one of the counter seats.

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anonymous asked:

You're writing is so cute /(///)\ would it be alright to request how the RFA + V would react to a MC that has low self-esteem or self-hatred (constantly saying sorry since they always think everything is their fault)?

waaahh~ thank u friend !! also i relate to this request on a personal level :v

Yoosung

  • you were watching him play LOLOL and you were drinking a cup of juice
  • your eyes were glued to the screen just like his and as you were reaching for your drink
  • you knock it over
  • and it spills everywhere oh GOD
  • “Oh my god! I’m so sorry! I’m so so so sorry, Yoosung–” you spew, rushing to his kitchen to get paper towels to clean up the mess
  • Yoosung had picked up his keyboard to prevent it from breaking it
  • finally you had gathered enough wet paper towels to clean up your mess that you made
  • and you felt so awful because he was in the middle of clashing with an opponent
  • and you ruined his chances of him winning
  • here come dem tears
  • you felt like crying but you tried so hard to hold them back 
  • because you felt like you just ruined everything
  • even though you just spilled your juice
  • you curl up on the couch feeling terrible
  • when your boyfriend sets his keyboard down, he notices your absence and finds you on the couch
  • “MC?”
  • he makes his way over to you and sits
  • your voice was on the brink of breaking as you looked at him and mumbled out “I’m sorry”
  • initially he’s confused
  • he’d ask why you’re saying sorry about what seemed like nothing to him because he’s had plenty of close calls spilling drinks on his keyboard
  • when you just reply with “I’m sorry” again, his eyebrows furrow upwards with a sad look in his eyes
  • you realize he’s worried about you
  • so when you are able to calm down a bit, you explain that when you mess up on anything, even if it’s little, you always feel like it’s your fault
  • and then endless “sorrys” unconsciously keep spilling from your mouth
  • and sometimes that’s all you can say
  • “I ruined your chance to beat one of the bosses and–”
  • Yoosung just gives you a look of sympathy and understanding, and in no way shape or form would he ever think that what you did was your fault
  • “MC, it was an accident, and everyone spills things all the time, so please don’t feel like it was your fault at all, okay?”
  • you raise your head to look up at him, and he’s just smiling one of those bright smiles that always seem to cheer you up
  • “If you’re still feeling bad, how about I make you something~?”
  • you nod, giving him a small smile as he takes your hand and leads to you to the kitchen

Zen

  • you’re so perfect in his eyes??? you’re beautiful and he loves you for you
  • he’s so shocked but sad that you don’t have confidence in yourself
  • then again, when he was younger, he didn’t have the self-confidence that he has now, but that’s not what’s important right now
  • he compliments you whenever he can and they’re always so genuine
  • but sometimes even though he gives you compliments all the time, you still don’t feel good enough
  • how could someone as normal and plain as you be dating a soon-to-be famous actor/singer/dancer who has all the looks? a dazzling smile, clear skin, mesmerizing red eyes, and literally a perfect set of abs
  • you look at yourself in the mirror and scan over every part of your body
  • you felt gross, looked gross, and would never be able to match up to him
  • you felt disgusting
  • your boyfriend comes in and sees you staring blankly into the full-length mirror
  • “MC? What’re you up to, darling~?”
  • his voice brings you back to reality and you jump slightly, waving your hands in front of you
  • “Ah- Nothing! Just… I was just checking out my outfit because I thought I looked pretty cute today ahaha…”
  • your tone betrayed your words
  • he makes his way behind and stares at the mirror with you, his masculine frame engulfing you
  • even with your already low self-esteem, seeing how ugly you are compared to others makes you feel even worse
  • but you were doing a terrible job at masking it and zen catches on
  • zen places his hands on your shoulders 
  • “MC, you can tell me anything…”
  • if you kept this from him any longer, you’d feel bad later about not telling him the truth, so you muster up all of your courage
  • and explain to him that your self-esteem was already low from the get-go and it never grew positively, so you’re always hating how you look and how you feel about yourself
  • he pulls you into him, arms snaking around your smaller frame while still looking into the mirror
  • “But I don’t see anything wrong with who’s in front of me. I just see someone who’s absolutely beautiful and has her own charms.”
  • he didn’t want to marginalize your feelings, but he wanted you to feel better about yourself because he genuinely didn’t see you as ugly in any way, shape, or form
  • “Everyone has their own looks, and I just happen to like yours the most~” he winks at you
  • a small smile creeps upon your lips at his efforts to try and cheer you up
  • from then on, he gives you compliments whenever possible
  • and if he had to go to rehearsal early, he’d write a cute note where you’d see it to remind you how much you’re loved by him
  • and you’re more than happy to have someone who won’t give up on you

Jaehee

  • this woman i s2g !! loves you deeply and wants you to feel nothing but happy
  • finds it depressing when she’s at work and can’t be at home to try and help you
  • as someone who’s never really had to worry about self-esteem, it’s not easy for her to empathize with you, however she tries her best to help you in whatever way she can 
  • does heavy research on how to make someone who has low self-esteem gradually love themselves again
  • even if it’s not an easy process, she’ll help you 
  • if she sees that you’re not feeling particularly confident in yourself one day, she’ll recommend some tips she found online to help
  • because she finds it hard to empathize, she struggles with trying to assist with the personal feelings about yourself
  • jaehee would retaliate by saying with her glasses glinting
  • “You’re very diligent and hardworking, but also posses passionate deep down about things you love and it seems like that confident side of you comes out when that happens.” 
  • you laugh and thank her, but
  • still, you don’t feel like you’re good enough in general
  • you really appreciated her compliments, and you told her that
  • it’s just hard for you to just… love yourself and find something you genuinely loved doing and was good at
  • she might ask the other members for advice since she’s not the most educated on this stuff
  • rules out jumin immediately, as well as 707
  • decides to ask zen because she knows he always gives good advice
  • she takes it into consideration and tries to follow what he suggested
  • jaehee also tries to boost your confidence by having you learn how to make coffee !! 
  • it’s nothing big, but you could find something you love to do and she would be more than willing to drink the coffee made by none other than you~
  • so you try it out, and surprisingly
  • you’re pretty damn good
  • and jaehee feels better knowing that you seemed to have cheered up a bit
  • even if it was just making coffee
  • she holds your hands in hers and just smiles at you lovingly

Jumin

  • slowly this man is exploring the world of emotions and trying to figure them out
  • but when he find out that your self-esteem is at rock bottom, all he can think is
  • why would you care so much about what others think of you?
  • but he realized that probably wasn’t the proper thing to say to you right now
  • your boyfriend is literally a millionaire and here you are
  • even with all of the extravagant dresses and jewelry he buys for you still… doesn’t make you feel any better about yourself
  • because in the end you’re still just… you
  • when you’re looking through photos of him and yourself a little bit after becoming a couple, you can’t help but linger on photos of jumin
  • he has his quirks, but still…
  • hell, you even think Elizabeth the 3rd is prettier than you;;
  • so when he comes home, he finds your face buried in your phone screen, but he doesn’t say anything and quietly sneaks up from behind, gazing down at what you were so fixated on
  • he sees that you’re going through the endless selfies with him, with a few candid photos of just him as well
  • he’s about to open his mouth to ask you what you were doing but you beat him to it
  • “Jumin…”
  • “What is it, MC?”
  • “Why do you like me so much?”
  • his eyes widened in surprise
  • he wasn’t expecting this question at all
  • and he already had enough issues trying to express his emotions correctly
  • “Why do you ask such a question?”
  • “It’s just… I don’t know why you’d choose someone like me who’s so emotional and has such low confidence… I never know what to say at times and I mess up… so… why…”
  • his heart breaks when he hears your voice becoming quieter and sadder
  • he takes a few moments to gather up a fitting response
  • “MC, you’ve shown me how to love, how to feel jealous, how to feel everything at once… You’ve shown me a whole new world in which I never thought I would experience in my life. I am grateful for that. But as to why I chose you? You’re not like anyone else I’ve met. You have a personality that I love, a body that is nothing but beautiful in my eyes, and a passionate heart that will never to compare to anyone else’s.”
  • you obviously weren’t expecting such a heartfelt response, but by his tone and seriousness of his voice, he really meant everything he said
  • “But… still…”
  • he leans down, face resting in the crook of your neck, his soft locks tickling your neck and cheek
  • “If it is never-ending reassurance that you need, then I will provide it. I hate seeing… you so sad.”
  • you swore you were about to cry
  • it takes you a few moments to react, but you eventually end up shifting so that you’re facing him
  • and he just picks you up and hugs you tightly, reassuring you that you will always be loved by him

707

  • let’s be real tho
  • he self-loathes himself too so again, it’s relatable for him and can read you easily
  • HE DOESN’T DESERVE TO FEEL LIKE THAT !!! and neither do you
  • seven had an assortment important stuff sprawled around him like floppy disks, flash drives, etc. and he was hacking away on his computer
  • you were sitting on the couch eating a snack and had just finished
  • so you got up to put the empty bowl in the sink and carefully weaved yourself through the mess
  • but unfortunately for you, there was the unseen floppy disk in a plastic case right in front of you and you were already mid-step
  • you manage to avoid the center of it but still end up stepping on the corner of the case and it makes a loud cracking noise
  • you gasp and quickly set aside the empty snack bowl and kneel down to check it
  • your movement catches the attention of your hacker boyfriend
  • “MC, what happened?”
  • “The floppy disc with Saeran’s pictures on it! I accidentally stepped on the case and now it’s cracked and if I ended up breaking the disc, I’m never going to forgive myself because it means so much to you–”
  • you’re in a literal state of panic and hatred because how could you made such a mistake?
  • seven rushes forward and grabs your chin and forces you to look at him
  • “MC! MC, look at me.”
  • your eyes meet his calm, golden ones
  • “Breathe…”
  • “I’m sorry… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Seven… I didn’t mean to…”
  • seven just pulls you into a tight hug and strokes your hair until you’re ready
  • as precious as that disc was to him, you and your health was more precious
  • “I’m so sorry if I broke it…”
  • he pulls back and looks at you, reassuring you that if it did break, it’s not your fault
  • “Here, let’s check…” he murmurs as he reaches for the case and carefully opens it
  • it shines and there aren’t any cracks whatsoever
  • thank g o d
  • “See? It’s all good meow~”
  • a giggle escapes your lips as eyes travel back down to the safe disc
  • “I’m sorry again… I wish I wasn’t so stupid…”
  • “You’re not stupid and I never will think you are, trust me.” cue that small smirk of his
  • as painful as self-loathing is, and him figuring that you had to go through it by yourself, he never wants you to feel that way

V

  • does V also self-loathe himself?
  • yes. yes he does.
  • but when he finds out that you have extremely low self-esteem and tend to hate yourself more than you should, he can’t help but feel terrible
  • he wishes he could take all of that pain away from you because you don’t deserve to feel an ounce of it
  • so when you’re sitting on the couch all snuggled up into V who’s trying to browse the photos from the shoot earlier, you ask if you can see them as well
  • he carefully hands you his camera as you sit up properly
  • but luck wasn’t on your side and it slipped right out of your hands and onto the hard floor with a loud thud
  • “Oh my god oh my god oh my god I didn’t meant to drop it!” you reach down and grab it, examining every square inch of the camera making sure that it wasn’t damaged or broken for good
  • there were a few noticeable scratches on the corner where it hit the floor and you instantaneously felt dread fill your mind
  • now he’s just going to be mad at me and won’t ever let me touch his camera again–
  • “MC… It’s okay… You’re not the first one to have dropped it, so please don’t feel bad.”
  • a little voice in your head told you that he was right, but a larger voice was a telling you that you were just worthless and couldn’t even hold a camera properly without dropping it
  • “I-If there are any parts that need to be replaced, I’ll pay for it… I’m sorry… Please don’t be mad at me…”
  • Taking your face into his hands, he rests his forehead on yours and attempts to gaze into your eyes
  • “I’m not mad in the slightest, and I would never be mad at you. Everything’s okay.”
  • his sweet and gentle voice gradually calms you down as the minutes pass by
  • right now isn’t the time to ask why you have low self-esteem or feel self-hatred all the time, but when it’s the right time, he’ll ask so that he can understand you even better and prepare himself to make you feel better so that you don’t have to bottle up such negative emotions by yourself ever again
youtube

Perfume - GLITTER

“In a sparkling dream
We made a promise to each other
Until that day comes
I won’t cry - I will remember
I’ll pray for you - I’ll smile with you

I surely should be able to do anything
It’s easy to say things like that, but
Still, even so Ooh
If I don’t do it, nothing will change
Something like that I understand
Still, even so

Not sticking to something is easy
The calories I don’t decrease
When I recover
The glitter of just being

In a sparkling dream
We made a promise to each other
Until that day comes
I won’t cry - I will remember
I’ll pray for you - I’ll smile with you

There is an order to everything
I can say that quickly, but
Still, even so Ooh
The sadness of one day
Can’t stop anyone
Today, and tomorrow

I opened the white box
That always sat on the shelf
Sparkling, shining, that’s right, Glitter”

youtube

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SONG! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SONG!

Never Had by Oscar Isaac

I’ve been gone for so long now
Chasing everything thats new
I have forgotten how I got here
I have not forgotten you
We were just children with our eyes opening
You were all that i could see
You came close enough to know my heart beat but
Still not close enough for me

Through the good times and the bad
You were the best I never had
The only chance I wish I had to take
There was no writing on the wall
No warning signs to follow
I know now and I just cant forget
Youre the best I never had

Nanana

In this motel
Will pass midnight
When im bluer than a bruise
And you come drifting in through the half light
In your funny yellow shoes
And I hope thats you standing at my doorway
Thats the scratchin of your key
And I hope this song im singing
Someday finds you
My letter to Elise

Through the good times and the bad
You were the best I never had
The only chance I wish I had to take
There was no writing on the wall
No warning signs to follow
I know now and I just cant forget
Youre the best I never had
Nana Nanana
Best I never had
Nana Nanana
Best I never had mmm

chibigikochin  asked:

Another Jaylos prompt: Due to his mother having a tendency to smoke inside the house, Carlos has a tendency to smell like smoke and someone makes a comment about it which makes him upset so Jay goes to comfort him

tbh i wish i had made this more angsty, butstill, I like it :) thanks for the prompt!

“Carlos?” Chad asked the white haired boy while they were at lunch one day, “Do you smoke?”

Upon hearing the question, Jay, Mal, and Evie collectively dropped what they were holding and snapped their heads up to look at the son of prince charming. Evie and Mal both sent him glares while Jay only sent him a pleading look. This was the last thing Carlos needed from prince stuckup.

Carlos froze for a second before shoveling a strawberry into his mouth and avoiding his friend’s stares and glares. He replied to Chad as calmly and evenly as he could, “Nope. Never have, never will.”

“Oh. So then -” Jay, Mal and Evie all shook their heads, signaling him to please stop before he says something stupid that could hurt their sensitive friend’s feelings. Of course their warnings did absolutely nothing to stop the boy, “- why do you smell like smoke sometimes?”

“Uh….” Carlos racked his brain for an excuse to get away from this conversation. The last thing he wanted to do was explain his life story to Chad, “Oh! hey, I think I forgot to…. make my bed this morning! Yeah, I really need to go do that, I’ll see you later guys!”

And he was gone.

Jay sighed and stood, gathering his things, “Thanks a lot, prince of no common sense.”

He ran off after his friend, leaving Chad with a glaring Mal and a pissed off Evie. Ben was there too, but even he wouldn’t be able to deflect the rage about to thrown on Chad, so he just gave him a look of pity. Chad who was still oblivious, just looked around the table confused, “What did I say?”

-

Of course, Jay found Carlos curled up with Dude on his bed. He wasn’t facing him, but Jay knew his eyes were downcast, and his small pout that he always got when someone mentioned his mother was present on his lips. He didn’t acknowledge Jay when he quietly came into the room, just continued to silently pet the small dog.

The younger boy had changed his clothes into an outfit that he was sure never got in contact with his mother, but he knew the smell of smoke still lingered. It always did. Jay, Mal and Evie didn’t notice it anymore, since they’re always around Carlos, but Jay knew that others could tell.

“Carlos, you know Chad is a jackass -”

“It’s not about who says it, Jay, it’s that they say it at all,” Carlos said without missing a beat. He didn’t care that Chad had been the one to tell him, it could have been Ben or even innocent little Lonnie and the outcome would have been the same.

He didn’t look up from Dude, but he knew Jay had sat down on the bed next to him by the dip in the mattress. He wanted to stay in bed with Jay the rest of the day, knowing that he didn’t care whether or not Carlos smelled like a cigarette. Just like how Carlos didn’t care that Jay’s hands were too rough from years and years of stealing and running and jumping around the Isle.

He felt Jay’s arm curl around his waist, taking the hand that was working through Dude’s fur and holding it close to Carlos’ chest. He inhaled Jay’s scent that he was so used to, but it didn’t make him feel better this time. “I just hate the way the smoke lingers…. how it’s stayed with me all this time, even being off the Isle.”

“I know, C,” Jay said, squeezing his hand softly, “They don’t know what you’ve been through. No one in Auradon has any right at all to judge you or any of us.”

Carlos nodded, hearing what Jay was saying but he felt tears come to his eyes, “It’s like a constant reminder that even if she’s miles away, on an island, surrounded by a magical barrier, she still has a way to make me feel like this. Doesn’t matter how many times I shower and wash my hair with fancy Auradon soap or wash my clothes over and over again, I still feel and smell like I did when I lived with her…” he trailed off, his voice cracking.

Jay hated this. He hated that Carlos felt like this, and he knew that Carlos always felt like this. And it wasn’t really the smell of smoke, though he’d like it to be. It was that something his mom did so long ago was still affecting him.

He hid it a lot of the time, but the younger was so insecure sometimes that it physically hurt Jay. Him, Mal and Evie were insecure too, but they weren’t even close to the level Carlos was at, and it was all his mother’s fault. Jay resisted the urge to growl, afraid it would scare Carlos.

Jay didn’t know how to comfort the boy after this, he didn’t know what to say to change this, because honestly, he couldn’t fix this. He couldn’t just spray Carlos with four cans of Febreze and call it good, it didn’t work like that.

Or… maybe it did…

“Hey, I might have an idea.” Jay whispered next to his ear and Carlos nodded, “There’s probably something in Mal’s spell book that, like, masks scents, right? Or something like that.”

Carlos sniffled, “Probably,” he said in a watery voice, “I’ll text Mal.”

-

“Carlos texted me,” Mal said back in their room, interrupting Evie’s rant about how stupid and inconsiderate Chad can be and how she ‘can’t believe she ever wanted to be his princess’. “He asked if there’s something in my spellbook that hides smells.”

Evie normally wouldn’t have been okay with her rant being interrupted, but this was her little brother, “…There’s something non-magical that does that. It’s called perfume.”

Mal sighed, getting another text from Carlos saying they’d be in their dorm in a few minutes, “Boys are dumb, Evie.”

“How much do you want to bet it was Jay’s idea.”

“Idea? More like weak attempt at comfort.”

“Mal, the last time he cried around you, you said and I quote, ‘It could be worse, you could be dead, at the bottom of a pit, back on the Isle’”

Mal opened her mouth to protest, but there was really no arguing with that.

-

When the boys got to Evie and Mal’s dorm, Mal cracked open the spellbook. She ‘searched’ through the book while Evie tried to comfort Carlos a bit more. Mal announced that she had found a potion, but she had to go make it in the bathroom and that she’d be back in a minute or two.

In the bathroom, Mal didn’t grab anything to make potion, instead she grabbed one of Evie’s perfume bottles. Mal had no idea which one it was, but it said cotton candy so she took it. She stayed in the bathroom for a little while longer, just to be realistic and let them think she was actually making this. She was nice enough to do a small enchantment on the bottle that would make the smell last much longer than it was made to, but that was all.

When Mal walked out, Carlos had a hopeful smile on his face that she loved. She returned a smile, “Alright, C, stand up.” he did and she walked over to him, holding the small glass bottle. She sprayed his neck with it twice and over his wrists, telling him to rub them together.

When she announced it was done, Carlos beamed at her before hugging her tightly, which she gladly did the same. When he released her, he sent her a look, “This isn’t gonna make anyone fall in love with me, right?”

Jay moved in just then, wrapping an arm around his waist, “Too late.”

Carlos smiled up at him, letting Jay pull him out of the room. He yelled over his shoulder to her as they exited the room, “Thank you, Mal!”

“No problem, C!” She smiled and turned to Evie, who raised an eyebrow at her, crossing her arms.

“What did you actually do?”

Mal chuckled and raised up the perfume she stole, “I sprayed him with your perfume.”

Evie laughed, taking her perfume back, “You’re evil.”

“Duh.”

some people smoke cigarettes. some go for a jog while others just prefer to lay in bed and not think for awhile.

but me? when i got that feeling you wouldn’t see me cigarette in hand. i’d just be craving to hear the sound of your voice again.

—  an excerpt from a book ill never write
2

this right here is the reason I really couldn’t ship Clara and Danny. It’s because they are so different. They are different and that’s OK for a lot of couples, I know, but I just couldn’t really see them, living togheter in the long run. I do think they loved each other, obviously, but I really can’t picture Clara’s life with Danny in 20 or whatever years. Cannot see it happen.

Because Clara is adventurous, she wants to travel. She’s a free spirit, she wants to do whatever she can do (until she has some kind of control over it lol); Danny is not like that. He’s grounded, down to earth. He’s lovely, caring and everything… but they don’t click. Not to me.

And of course, it is part of the reason why I ship Whouffaldi. Twelve and Clara (or the Doctor and Clara in general) do click. They are curious, they GET each other (Danny and Clara misinterpret each other very often), they seriously won’t stop seeing thing all the time if they could.

Danny existed to give a reason for Clara to stay on Earth and not travel with the Doctor all the time, imr. He represented humaity, Earth, and what Clara leaves behind when she goes off with the Doctor. Clara was torn with this decision in all of Season 8… and I’m sorry to say that Danny did not win the competition. frankly, there wasn’t even a chance

deep fried chips

Waking up a mush—
clouded by the aches.
Tempered to look on—
always waiting…
              
                …just to see.

Crawling deep into bets—
onto coattails of broke but
still grinding pails away
to the concrete bounces…

        …gone trampoline.

Holding buckets of grovel,
that sedimentary debate.
Cashed quick out back
Then twitching in droves…

        …right at the neck.

Growing up the walls—
leaving roots of shadows
in a cast—vaccinated
and coaxed to rot…

               …grow mould

           (and get depressed).