this is so sad for you @etceteria (im blocked, you can fwd.) and your soul tbh cause this fatphobic shit does not bother me and just makes you look like a terrible person BUT
sis I only think or talk about you when I see a dumb ass post from your rat ass and I think I’ve done a good job of holding myself back because besides the post youre referencing that I posted like, three days ago right after you made the post I was talking about, (stalking my blog much?) I have not said a fucking thing about you.
just go back to making posts whining about “popular” blogs on the tag and about how no one wants your racism rewarded this season with the problematic award.
your @ didnt reach me sis because you have me blocked…stupid.
thank you @drt843 / @juliechen for bringing this ugly post to my attention and standing up for me, love you <3
Taintim ka at nanahimik na nags-scroll sa dash ng may nag-message sa’yo in anonymous way ng “Oy, ang penget ng blog mo. Delete account ka na. Potaena ka.” Syempre as a new blogger, magugulat ka. Yung tipong sinapak ka magkabilaan at nilait lait yung pagkatao mo with feelings. Ganun yun eh! Wala naman akong alam na ginawa kong mali? Ano yan, napanalunan sa lottery na ang price ay “FREE BASH. 7.50 only plus hate.” Seriously, ang laki talaga ng pinagbago ng tumblr. Maybe hindi pala yung tumblr ang nagbago, yung mga hater na pati blogging site ay kinareer na rin. Yung tipong dito ka na nga lang mag-eexpress ng feelings mo na hindi mo masabi sa real world, may mang-ha-hate pa sa’yo. Hindi ko lang talaga makuha yung point na bakit ka hinahate. Wala ka na ngang ginagawa sa kanila, hinahate ka pa nila. Nananahimik ka na nga lang, hinahate ka pa nila. Sabi kasi nila, sa blinoblog mo makikita kung ano ang personality nung blogger na yun na malaki kong tinututulan. Maybe sa iba ganun ang perceptive nila about sa blogging pero ako hindi. Ano yun, nagblog ka ng porn ibig sabihin non isa kang dildo? Hindi eh! Hindi lang sa way kung paano sya mag blog mo sya makikilala. Kailangan mo parin makilala sya kung ano sya at kung sino sya sa personal. Kung ayaw nyo sa tao, feel free na i-unfollow nyo. Hindi yung araw-araw mong nakikita yung mukha nya na syang ikinapuputok ng butsi mo. Hays, sabi nga ni Taylor Swift, “Haters gonna hate, hate, and hate.”. Wala na akong magagawa sa kanila kundi i-shake-it-off nalang at dedmahin nalang sila. Pero ang sakit lang talaga sa bangs!
“I, uh, actually just got back from running a few errands. What’s up with you?”
“Managed to escape the bringing out of baby photo albums in the living room so I’m just sitting in my room so I would have somewhere quiet to talk to you,” I added.
“Aw, baby photo albums? I need to see those!” she exclaimed excitedly and I could nearly picture a grin breaking out on her face while she jumped up and down.
“You can. Come visit,” I suggested bluntly.
“What?” she breathed.
“Come visit a few days for New Years with me and my family,” I elaborated.
“Oh, Justin, I don’t know…”
“Why not?” I asked sharply, hurt dripping in my voice.
“Well, I just got back from being away for so long and I have a lot of things I need to do and catch up on. Now’s just not a very good time. I’m sorry, baby. But I’ll see you as soon as you get back,” she promised to soften to blow of rejection.
“Okay. Well bye, I guess. Love you.”
“I love you, too, Justin.”
Ever since the tour ended, I’ve had the idea in my head that now we can spend a lot more time with each other and be almost inseparable. Finally neither of our schedules are too busy.
So I invited her to come spend New Years with me and my family. But apparently she’s still too busy. What’s up with her?
Sighing, I got my sorry-self up and emerged into the living room to rejoin my family, most of which I don’t see that often.
“She said no, huh?” My grandmother Diane asked me.
I nodded my head solemnly and after checking my phone one last time, slipped it into the pocket of my sweatpants. “Yeah.”
“How about you take your mind off of it and go play some soccer with your cousins and maybe Ryan and Chaz too?” My dad suggested.
Ryan, Chaz, three of my cousins and I were warming up outside, just kicking the soccer ball back and forth when Ryan noticed I wasn’t smiling like I usually do.
“You okay, man?” he asked concerned.
I explained the situation to him, deciding I need someone to vent to about it.
“I really love her, man. But I hate that we don’t get to spend enough time with each other. Now is the time, but she’s not acting on the opportunities. It’s really frustrating. Almost like I’m not worth her time or something,” I ranted and kicked the ball a little harder to him that I meant to as my self-depreciating thoughts accumulated.
“You’re worth her time. She might not be flying out to spend time with you, but she’s thinking about you. I bet she smiles every time your name pops up on her screen. I might not know a whole bunch about relationships, but I know that what you two have is true love. We’ve been best friends for almost all our lives and I can honestly say I never saw you happier than when you’re with her. So I’m sure you have nothing to worry about,” Ryan replied honestly. “Just keep calling her, show her how much you really want her to be here.”
“Thanks, I’ll do that,” I smiled.
I’m glad he’s here because Chaz and I could never have deep conversations like this. He’s just not that kind of friend. But Ryan will always be there for me I’m sure, no matter how trivial the problem.
“You guys ready to lose now?” one of my cousins smirked from a few yards away. “Let’s get this game started!”
I sat with my elbows resting on the bar in the kitchen and put my head in my hands.
“He won’t stop calling! Why can’t he take the hint?” I mumbled in annoyance.
“Do you even know what he wants?” My mom asked me as she looked in the fridge for a drink.
“Yes, he wants me to spend New Years with him. He first asked me a few days ago,” I revealed.
“And you don’t want to, sweetie? Because you know you don’t need my permission to go,” she said sweetly and rubbed my arm.
“I know Mom, but that’s not it. I do want to go.”
“So what’s stopping you then?” She asked confused.
I scoffed loudly. “Nothing!”
“Am I missing something here?” she laughed loudly and took a seat on the stool next to me.
“I am going. I just don’t want Justin to know. I want it to be a surprise. But he keeps bugging me about it so my only option is to ignore his calls because I really don’t want to lie to him.”
“Well, it looks like you’ve got everything all figured out,” she chuckled before standing up. “When do you leave?”
“The 31st. And I booked the early flight so first thing tomorrow morning.”
“Alright, I’ll say goodbye in the morning,” she kissed me on the cheek and left the room.
I’d already bought my plane ticket but I haven’t packed anything so far and I only have a few hours until I was going to go to bed. Deciding that I better pack now, I sprinted up the stairs and chose some of my warmest winter clothes, knowing I’ll be battling the snow and cold the next few days.
Walking up to Justin’s grandparents house where I knew he would be staying, I all of a sudden grew very nervous. What if he changed his mind and doesn’t want to see me anymore? What if he got annoyed that I wasn’t answering his calls or texts? Maybe I’m not welcome anymore.
I brushed of my nerves and instead knocked on the door with my bags in my hands.
To my surprise, and more obviously hers, his grandmother Diane opens the door.
“Oh, Selena! I didn’t know you were coming! I know Justin had hoped but oh wow! What a pleasant surprise. Come on in, let’s get you out of the cold, sweetheart,” she said warmly and ushered me inside while taking hold of some of my bags.
She led me into the living room where Bruce, Jeremy, Pattie, and Justin were sitting on the couches watching some show on TV.
“Hey guys, Selena’s here!” Diane introduced and everyone’s wide-open eyes simultaneously sprung to mine.
“Hi, it’s nice to see you all again,” I said politely while scanning my gaze across the room before settling on Justin who looked shocked to see me standing just five feet away from him. Shocked is better than upset, right? “How have you been, honey?” Pattie asked me genuinely.
“Great, actually. Now that I’m off my tour it’s been great to have some time to myself lately. I’m sure Justin agrees with that,” I smiled hoping to break him out of his shocked trance by including him in the conversation.
It seemed to work as he nodded then jumped up from the couch and rushed to my side to give me a tight hug.
“You came,” he whispered into my ear.
“Yeah. Surprise!” I giggled and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling closer into the embrace.
“God, I missed you,” he revealed while releasing the hug.
“Me too. Do you want to go talk somewhere?” I suggested.
He just nodded.
As he placed his hand on my lower back to guide me to a private room, I felt tingles at the contact and my heartbeat sped up a little bit.
On the way we passed a group of younger kids, I assume to be Justin’s cousins and siblings, and I made brief eye contact with Jazzy. But it was long enough for her to process who I was.
“Selly!” she rang out and ran over to me, instantly wrapping her tiny arms around my legs while looking up at me with beautiful caramel eyes identical to her brothers.
“Hey Jazzy!” I exclaimed while running my hand up and down her back. Kneeling down to her level, I enveloped her into a tight hug. “I missed you, princess!”
“I missed you, too, Selly!” Her smile was infectious. “Will you play a game with me?”
“Uh, Jazzy, Selena and I want to talk right-” Justin began before she interrupted him.
“No! Bieber, you can wait, Selly’s going to play with me right now and you can talk about boring stuff later,” she decided for us and grabbed my hand, leading me to the other kids she was sitting with a few minutes before.
“Do you know how to play Candyland, Selly?”
Somehow, I’ve managed to do everything in Canada except be alone with Justin so far. I’ve played Candyland with Jazzy, watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with the other littles, help Pattie and Diane make dinner, and go for a last minute trip to the store to buy fireworks.
I was walking into the garage with my arms loaded with bags filled with fireworks when Justin found me.
“Sel! Here, let me help you with those,” he said and took the bags from my arms and placed them against the wall.
He turned to me and interlaced our hands and taking off out of the garage.
“Where are we going?” I laughed and didn’t protest as I let him take me where ever.
“Somewhere private. I just want to-“
Out of nowhere a snowball hit the side of Justin’s face and disintegrated upon impact.
“Got you!” Ryan yelled from 20 feet away, now visible because he stepped in front of the tree that was his previous hiding spot.
“Oh, it’s on, Butsy!” Justin declared and began scooping up a snowball of his own.
“Attack!” Ryan commanded and suddenly the littles, Chaz, and some of Justin’s other friends came out of their hiding spots and ambushed Justin with a whole slew of snowballs. All of them luckily missed me, as I wasn’t the target, but instead hit Justin all over; his face, chest, legs, and another unfortunate spot.
I doubled over grabbing my knees while I laughed loudly.
After they ran out of ammo, they started running toward Justin like a stampede. Unable to outrun all of them, Justin was tackled to the ground and it quickly became a 15-person pile-on.
“I’m so cold, like, everywhere! Even my freaking balls are stone cold. Don’t those kids know that I’m going to need those?” Justin mumbled while he undressed out of his frozen and sodden clothes as a result of the one-sided snowball fight.
I giggled from my sitting position on his twin size bed as he struggled to remove his soaked sweat pants. “Hey, think on the bright side. We’re finally alone now…” I reminded him and a slow smirk formed across his lips.
He sauntered over toward me and in just his boxers, placed his hands on my hips before connecting our lips. As soon as his hands moved up to grasp my face, I yanked away from the contact.
“Your hands are freezing!”
He looked down at his hands like he just discovered a new secret weapon and before I realized what I had brought upon myself, it was too late. He pushed me down onto the bed and covered my body with his and began placing his cold hands and limbs on my exposed skin in rapid motion, not letting my body adjust to the frigid sensation before he moved them to the next location.
Then he slipped his hands under my shirt and placed them directly over my stomach. I yelped and struggled to kick him off of me, all the while laughing too hard.
A knock on the door thankfully caused Justin to halt his ministrations. “Justin! Selena! Come on out, the ball is about to drop!”
We stood in the living room amongst Justin’s close family and watched the New Years Eve special on TV as the countdown dwindled to the final minute of 2013 for the east coast.
“5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Happy New Year!” we called out together.
I leaned into Justin for a lingering kiss that left me wanting more.
“This is our year, Sel. I feel it; the year of us,” he decided and connected our lips again as literal and figurative fireworks went off in the distance.
Happy New Year everyone! :) Thank you so much for reading!