butlers coffee

Imagine being an absolute pun master, but those around you just don’t seem to appreciate your comedic genius. Then, one day, you pay a visit to a mortician for crime investigation, and the strange man asks for laughter as payment. This is it. Your time to shine has come.

Coffee Shop AU!

- Ciel is the the new waiter, who’s still shy. Most of the time, he hides behind the counter making coffees. Everybody finds him sooooo~ cute !

- Sebastian is the head waiter. Always organizing everything, and trying to beat that obnoxious coffee shop manager from across the street ! 

- May-Rin and Finnian are waiters. They’re a little … clumsy ?! How didn’t they got fired already ?!

- Bard makes pastries. Well, he tries his best… but it’s still a little burnt.

- Grell is that customer. The one who wants her special waiter in her special table. (She tries to date Sebastian every time she comes.)

- Ronald is Grell’s friend, who tries to get her to calm down (He fails).

- William is the customer who comes at 7:30 AM to get a black coffee. And comes sometimes to scold Grell for skipping work to see “Sebas-chan”.

- Undertaker always spends the whole day at the counter, trying to make Ciel laugh. Actually, he’s more creeping him out …

- Claude and Alois manage the coffee shop across the street. Rivalry, rivalry …

- Elizabeth brings Ciel cute toys, which always make him blush, and always make the others smirk.

- Soma and Agni sell coffee beans.

- Charles Phipps (and Cecily) tastes the new pastries created by Sebastian and gives the green light.

- Charles Grey is the picky customer who always want the best. He’s usually seen talking to Undertaker (curiously, they have the same creepy sense of humor. Nobody knows if it’s a good thing or not).

Ko-Fi Exchange Request

@hczardousparadox: Okay so for the one shot exchange thing: Fandom: Black Butler Pairing: Sebastian x me Plot: I’m 19 in this fic (even though I’m 15 irl) and a pop star around the globe.  However, I’m suspected to be involved in homicide cases going on in Germany because I’m touring Germany at the time and they’re happening in every city I’ve been to.  So naturally, Sebastian gets involved because why not (and this is a modern au btw) and he attends one of my concerts.  I sing pop and hip hop, and the choreography is rather sexy, so he gets intrigued also because I’m just under five feet so I would look small as hell on stage.  He questions me in the darkness backstage after everyone has left, and I get terrified because he’s a demon and try running from him but it’s just us two in the building so it isn’t hard for him to catch me and seduce me.  Maybe nsfw whatever you’re comfortable with.  Sorry if it’s confusing.

Personal details: I’m super introverted but really polite, but I also have no problem being rude! Black hair, blue eyes, very fair.

Thank you so, so much for supporting me! If anyone else wants to support me, the link to my Coffee page is in my description, as well as a link to the post saying what I’ll do in exchange for one. This is due for May 3rd but you’re getting it early :3 I also really hope that you enjoy this; if you don’t like parts of it, message me and I’ll correct them. Thank you once again! ❤ 

Word count: 2,177 (oops?)


“Our primary suspect is a Miss Eris Paradox, a popular singer currently touring Germany. She’s a suspect because every town she tours in Germany has a dead body turn up the next morning.” Special Agent Marlowe was addressing the small room of agents working the case. “We have no new information about who she is despite the multitude of articles and web pages dedicated to her, or how she’s killing them. The bodies still have to be examined by a coroner.”

“So she’s a suspect because of circumstance?” In a sea of faces, it was hard to put a name and face to the question. It was a valid question, but it didn’t help his already damaged reputation.

SA Marlowe hesitated before answering, “Yes. We’ve got our best guys on the case.”

Guilt formed as a solid lump in the back of his throat at his blatant lie disguised as a vague statement. If the other men on the case knew who he’d turned to for help, they’d have his badge and gun before he could say ‘FBI’. 

The Queen’s Watchdogs weren’t as popular in America as they were to the rest of the world. 


“Sebastian.” Ciel sounded so bored that anyone other than Sebastian would have thought him close to being asleep.

“Yes, my lord?” Sebastian answered back in an equally disinterested tone.

“Are you aware of the murders happening in Germany?”

“Indeed I am, my lord.”

Ciel leant forward in his chair, his hands steepled under his chin. “Prepare for a trip to Germany, Sebastian. I want you to find out just how she’s committing these murders. If it’s not Miss Paradox doing this, then I want to know who and why. Don’t come back without something substantial to report back to me.”

The devilish butler got down on one knee and crossed an arm over his chest. He bowed his head, “Yes, my lord.”

Sebastian had received no instruction as to how he should question this Miss Eris Paradox, and he knew that that was intentional… Ciel was giving him implied permission to act as he saw fit. 

This is going to be fun. Sebastian’s eyes glowed magenta and he chuckled darkly, already making preparations in his mind as he made his way to his bedchamber.


Sebastian blended perfectly into the crowd as he made his way through it, unable to help the sneer of disgust on his face as he brushed past sweaty teenagers ruled by their hormones and the levels of alcohol running through their systems, cheering and screaming incoherently as the young woman performed some complicated dance moves. Her skin was gleaming with sweat as she sang words that were almost perfectly choreographed to the somewhat provocative movements. 

The music was so loud it could be felt deep within his bones, a queasy sort of vibration that he was sure would leave his ears ringing for days after. As she sang, Sebastian couldn’t help but be intrigued by her - she was short, shorter than he’d first thought, and he marvelled at the excellent body control she was exercising.  

As he observed, his plan already in motion, he couldn’t help wondering if she was behind the murders. Her soul was pure, he could smell it, and any darkness that befell her, she battled her way through elegantly and always came out the other side. She was strong, he knew, and if she was the perpetrator, she was a better actress than she gave herself credit for. Sebastian was almost convinced that she was innocent, at least in this case. Still, he had a job to do and couldn’t let his own judgements get in the way of that, even if he knew that he was right. For such an intelligent species, humans could be so stupid sometimes.

The song finished, and Sebastian struggled to maintain his centre of gravity as the crowd went wild, chanting her name and cheering. Eris bowed lowly, a radiant smile on her face as she panted, endorphins racing through her veins as she thanked the crowd and went backstage, blowing kisses and waving as she went.

Despite himself, Sebastian could feel a headache coming on. Groaning inaudible to human ears, he followed the unsuspecting Eris backstage nonchalantly, looking as though he hadn’t a care in the world, enjoying the way his heeled boots echoed sharply off the brick walls.


Sebastian approached the young girl casually, not wanting to give the game away before it had truly begun. As he walked, he dropped small pieces of his human façade. His true form had the power to drive even the steadiest man insane, and while it was beyond tempting to show Eris who, what, he really was, his only aim was to scare her into answering his questions. A good dose of fear was healthy, but only in moderation. 

Eris’ back was still facing Sebastian, giving him an obvious advantage over her and the situation that he was slowly creating. He smirked as tendrils of solid blackness began to leak from his physical presence, which merged into the air like ink in water. His elongated teeth and nails were sharp, the nails becoming more like black talons which could tear through flesh like a hot knife through butter. His saliva was now a potent venom and if he were to bite her in his current state, a liquid fire would course through her veins, leaving her writhing in agony beyond that which any mere human could imagine.

Sebastian was, in the simplest of terms, terrifying, brought straight from the worst nightmares of an innocent child. 

“Excuse me, my lady.” His voice was dangerously silky, a dark undertone of seductive danger lurking just beyond the surface of that rich British baritone.

The girl turned, the smile dropping from her face as she took in the sight of what Sebastian was. A human’s reaction to his form was always deeply entertaining, and hers was no different from all the rest. The sharp exhale of breath, the movement in the throat as they gulped from fear, the pounding of their heart quickening in the anticipation of flight… It was delicious. 

She felt a cold shiver dance down her spine, as though some prankster had dropped an ice cube down her shirt. She gulped audibly. “How can I help you?” Her voice was quiet, unsure, and she shifted her weight from one foot to the other, leaning slightly to the right. She was planning an escape, Sebastian knew. Really, humans were so transparent.

“Are you familiar with the murders being left in your wake?”

Eris shook her head and Sebastian’s smirk widened, feeling his control slipping a little bit more. “Oh, come now, entertainer for the masses by day and serial killer by night? How… Unoriginal.”

That was enough for Eris. She bolted, slipping easily out of Sebastian’s outstretched arms, racing down the corridor. Sebastian could smell the fear pumping through her veins, he could smell the sweat from all the physical activity she’d done that evening and now, now she was being pushed to her absolute limit. But Sebastian wasn’t done with her yet. He had a new goal in sight. His finely attuned hearing picked up on the last person leaving the building, leaving the young, vulnerable girl with no one but a demon for company… Sebastian basked in the thrill of the chase. He loved it when they ran, it made everything so much more interesting. She had just played right into his hands, and he would make the most of the opportunity that had just presented itself, it was now.

His sensitive sense of smell had picked up on the slight wave of arousal that had spiked her blood, and his plan changed. Speeding up, those tendrils grasped her upper arms and shoved her roughly against the nearest brick wall, which left her winded. 

He pressed himself against her, leaving forward to whisper into her ears, his magenta eyes glowing in anticipation of what was to come, “Tsk, tsk. Good girls should never run from a demon such as myself.” His tongue left the warm cavern of his mouth to trace the outer shell of her ear. He was unsure if her answering whimper came from a place of fear or arousal, but that didn’t matter when they both wanted the same thing, something that was slowly growing evident.

“Please let me go.” She whispered. 

“Mm, I think not.” He pressed himself more firmly against her, and she could feel every inch of his arousal, every line and plane of his body against hers. He was taller than her by a good foot, but that didn’t matter, either. Sebastian grasped her upper arms and lifted her off the floor, her legs finding his waist easily.

“Good girl,” he growled. 

Sebastian put his face close to hers, magenta eyes meeting blue eyes easily. He was testing her now, toying with her, and she knew it. She couldn’t help but to revel in the attention he was affording her, and she’d be lying if she said that she hadn’t fantasised about this sort of thing when she lay awake at night, her body tense and waiting for something which she couldn’t name because she hadn’t learnt the word for it yet… Lust.

He captured her lips in a searing kiss, his scent leaving her lightheaded and hungry for more, though she couldn’t say what more was. Her knees weakened and she would have dropped, had her legs not have encompassed his waist and had he not be pinning her to the wall. 

Not quite happy with their current position, Sebastian let her drop, her feet connecting with the cold and unforgiving ground. He pinned her arms above her head and dipped his head down to ravish her neck. He licked, sucked, nipped hard but never hard enough to break the skin - he wanted to cause her agony of a different nature, after all. He marked her neck for all to see, and when he was satisfied with his work, he returned to her sinful lips.

Tendrils of darkness sifted through the air, acting as hands. While the tendrils held her arms suspended above her head, Sebastian was free to put his own hands to some real use. He tugged their trousers down quickly, getting down to business. Lifting her up once more with just the tendrils, her legs quickly wrapped around his waist again.

“Mm,” a hum of approval rumbled through his chest, “A quick learner.” 

He lined himself up and pushed deep within her, slow and hard, teasing her, always giving her what she wanted but not in the amounts that she demanded. 

“Say my name.” Sebastian whispered in her ear.

“I don’t know your name.” She grunted, teeth clenched with the sheer amount of various sensations. She was quickly being overwhelmed and her mind was shutting down, her hips thrusting in time with his as instinct took her over. 

“Sebastian is the name of my human form,” Sebastian didn’t sound out of breath in the slightest, sounding as though he was merely discussing the weather. “My real name would drive you insane, my dear.”

“Sebastian.” His name became a mantra that dripped from her lips, her fingers winding in his hair. She tugged, hard, and he hissed, allowing the human girl to enjoy the brief sense of control that she gained from such a simple movement. 

They rocked together, a symphony of sighs, moans and groans leaving Eris’ mouth as Sebastian used her body in wicked ways. Sebastian grunted every now and then but otherwise looked as relaxed as one would watching television. 

Eris’ head flew back and connected harshly with the brick wall and she hissed in pain. Sebastian quickly sent a tendril to act as a cushion for her fragile head - it wouldn’t do for her to pass out when things were just getting started, and Sebastian was nothing but a gentleman. 

With the combination of physical and emotional exhaustion, Sebastian’s actions and her own threshold being well and truly crossed, Eris reached her end. Sebastian watched her fall apart with a deep sense of achievement while he was still inside her, and chuckled as she slumped, spent against the wall.

“My, my. What an interesting turn of events.” He smirked lowly in the darkness.

Eris was panting, unable to speak, and his teeth glinted in the low light of the corridor as she looked down, noticing that they were still connected in the most intimate, basest of ways.

“I’m nowhere near finished with you yet, kitten.” 

Sebastian couldn’t help but to laugh loudly at the look of horror that was dawning on her face.

The night was young and far from over, and Sebastian had promised his Young Master a thorough investigation, hadn’t he? Sebastian was nothing if not a man of his word, even if he exploited people at his own will to make good of his promises.

Yes. You’ve tasted the darkness haven’t you, my dear? Now let it taste you.

Artemis Fowl drink coffee hcs

Holly: doesn’t drink coffee; powered by fury
Butler: the most generic coffee in Existence
Juliet: drinks too much too fast and astral projects to fight her shadow self in the nth dimension
Artemis: says he drinks it black but he has the longest, most complicated order and it’s embarrassing to be in line with him
Foaly: no longer allowed to drink it at work; tea instead
Mulch: just fuckin eats the coffee beans

2

While Jaehee was growing out her hair, Mc convinced her to wear a butler outfit for her cafe ♥(^P^人)

Mini AU where Zen also worked in this coffee shop whenever he has time (ofc in a cat maid outfit LOLOL) along with the rest of the RFA. Not too sure how it’s gonna play out but i had lots of ideas in mind ^^ I’m hoping i can draw them out. Mini angst plays into part when this coffee shop is forced to closed down bc of a rival shop nearby, baehee once again over exerts herself and janfjndsnhjfd okey its gonna break my heart to draw this;;;;;

  • Sebastian: Charles Grey and Charles Phipps are in your office.
  • Ciel: What do they want?
  • Sebastian: To make fun of you, I think.
  • Ciel: And you let them in?
  • Sebastian: And got them coffee

Imagine dropping by the Noah’s Ark Circus, and being captivated by the snake charmer’s dance. Enough to look for him after the show, and try to talk and learn more about his eccentric self.

2

A little preview on something we’re sort of working on, I guess?

The amount of time me, piyocchi​, mythrilrain​ and aquacatz11​ spent thinking about this cafe AU actually amazed me and I regret nothing

Imagine Alois Trancy’s face when he realizes you’re more fucking psycho than even he is.

"The splendor coffee Butler ~Road to La Vien Rose ~"
Toriumi Kousuke , Katsuyuki Konishi , Yuuki Kaji , Daisuke Hirakawa , Hikaru Midorikawa , Takashi Kondo , Sakurai Takahiro , Kimura Ryohei , Tatsuhisa Suzuki , Daisuke Kishio
"The splendor coffee Butler ~Road to La Vien Rose ~"

Here’s a Special Drama CD from Diabolik Lovers More Blood

Enjoy~

Translation: 

Ayato: Diabolik Lovers

Kou: More Blood

Kanato: Limited Edition, special drama cd

Reiji: The road to café’s butler

Azusa: Rabian Rose

At school in the background people are laughing.

Laito: -sighs- The school is working around the clock here. This school sure loves to do flashy things, right.

Shu: So annoying, so sleepy, I wanna go home.

Reiji: You two are always like this, if you want to go soon, how about you choose a topic so we can wrap it up.

Kanato: But there are a lot of things we can do. Furthermore, how are we going to choose again. Me and Teddy want to go home.

Ayato: Ah the decision for the school festival, now that I mention it, it is almost time for that huh. Well, since it will probably the same as last year, we can do the same as other groups too right?

Subaru: Ah, what? Isn’t it divided in classes? Why are you asking me? There is no way that I know this right.

Laito: Subaru-kun you are only a first year’s so this would be your first school festival right. Bitch-chan if you have something to ask, you better ask me, everything you don’t know I will tell you all about it.

Ayato: Don’t come out you pervert. Listen up Tiny Tits, I will teach you all you need to know. Our school festival…

Reiji interrupts like a boss //

Reiji: Ryoutei Academy, is a high school where we don’t have many classes, so instead of dividing into years and classes, so it is allowed for all years to group up, however, it is obliged that the student must provide work in at least one group. Well, I don’t think it needs further explanation that you will join our group.

Ayato: Oy, don’t go and interrupt me you four eyed!

Reiji: If I let you lot do the explanation it will be evening by the time you are finished. Also, stop with that naming, Ayato!

Subaru: Huh, are we going to do the school festival in the evening you ask. That is why, why are you asking me, you…

Shu: Because you both are first timers and she tries to become less nervous with someone who is in her league perhaps. –chuckles-

Subaru: Oh it is that. Tch!

Reiji: Since it is their first time, how about we let them decide on the topic? Since all students attend the school at night, it is only logic that the festival will be held during the night. This is a night school after all.

Kanato: What did we do last year, you ask. For your information we brothers participated in the festival. By doing nothing at all though.

Shu: Huh, what we did about the fare you ask. We divided it. After that the preparations were done, glad that we chose that event. It was easy.

Reiji: You dare to say, this is coming from the person who was sleeping throughout the whole thing.

Ayato: Well, it does look like this year won’t be as boring as the last one. The Tiny Tits will be here too.

Laito: Eh, since it is a school festival, doing nothing will be boring you say. Nfu, you sure are serious about this, Bitch-chan. Don’t worry, I won’t let you be bored for even a second~ We will entertain you plenty~ Nfu.

-door slides open and the Mukami enter-

Kou: Hmm so the Sakamaki’s are doing nothing at all, well it is expected of the expected.

Subaru: Ngh… Tch. The annoying ones arrived.

Reiji: Well, well if it isn’t the people from the Mukami household. It seems to be a matching line to say to you too, do you have any business with us?

Ruki: We don’t have any business with you. The one we have business with is, you, Sow.

Ayato: Ah? Are you talking about the Tiny Tits. What kind of business do you have with her?

Kou: Of Course to help us with the school festival. Say, M-kitten, won’t you join our group? Unlike the Sakamaki’s we are doing our school festival work per~fectly here. If you come with us it will be fun I can assure you~

Ayato: Huh, you! Coming out of nowhere what the fuck are you even saying! It is already decided that the Tiny Tits will join us!

Yuma: Ah, ‘that so… It doesn’t look much like she wants to do so though. You just said you weren’t going to anything during the School Festival. That is why just get over here!

Azusa: Say, which one do you prefer? Us… or the Sakamaki group… Tell us honestly. It is obvious you will choose us right…It surely will be fun, you are thinking of doing it with us right. We understand it.

Ruki: Well, quickly come to us.

Ayato: Shut up! Tiny Tits, you aren’t planning to go to them now are you. Ah!

Shu: If I am going to enter it better to have a certain fare? In other words you prefer there huh.

Ayato: This is not pleasing me.

Kanato: Indeed, this is not pleasant at all.

Shu: Now that I remember, Dad gave us a scolding right, telling us to move at least a little bit.

Subaru: The one who was told that, was only you Shu.

Reiji: I understand, well this year we shall participate too. If that is the case it is fine right.

Laito: So it is Bitch-chan, the conditions are the same now, of course this way, you will come here right.

Yuma: I will decide once you decide what you will do for the fare? Keh, you sure acting high and mighty for a little piglet.

Kou: You know we… Are holding a Butler Shop~

Reiji: A butler shop? Are you joking, you,  why are you doing something like that again?

Azusa: Because we were ordered to do so.

Reiji: Huh?

Ruki: Ah don’t worry about it, ah if I recall, it certainly is not something of our alley, though, we are planning to give our all in doing it. That is the least to do it. That is why, we won’t let you go there without a fight.

Subaru: Hey you, don’t tell me you are actually doubting about this? It’s a butler café! There has to be at least dozens of those around here.

Shu: You want to see vampires act like butlers, you say. So useless.

Reiji: Fine, we will do a Butler Café too.

Subaru: Huh!!

Kanto: Are you serious Reiji?

Reiji: If we want to battle under the same condition this is the best way of doing it.

Laito: Nfu, I don’t mind it, servicing girls is what I like after all. Even better this is like a reward.

Shu: This does seem better than getting an earful from dad today.

Ruki: -chuckles- So the brothers are really into not wanting to lose her. Fine, then how about we make it a battle of this.

Ayato: A battle?!

Ruki: Usually school festivals are about these right. Furthermore, this person here is pretty much useless, though she will be a good person to choose the best Butler Café from us. It is good enough to choose just one of us in the group. If you can’t choose now, I believe this is the best way to solve it.

Reiji: Wait a minute. Let me get this straight. It would be plain out impossible for us, cause out of the six here I am the only one who properly can do this job. While I can do this perfectly, the others will be in the way.

Ruki: Hmpf, well it is not like I can’t understand it. It can’t be helped. Well, let us rewrite the way of the game. We will let her not choose the best Butler café, but the best butler of us all. This should be of no problem.

Reiji: Hmm, I understand, very well. Then all I need to do is win right.

Ayato:  You assholes, talking like we don’t even exist. There is no way that this me is going to lose from you lot! A butler or whatever I can do it perfectly!

Laito: Of course the number one Butler will receive a Kiss from the Dear Lady right?~ If that is the case I will do my best too~

Shu: -sighs- So annoying.

Azusa: Are we going to ignore my own intentions, you say. Indeed, sorry… It is because Ruki decided on it. You better listen carefully to it too okay… You can’t run away anymore, you have to choose someone… fufu, let’s do our best.

-scene change-

Ruki: Well, it seems everyone is gathered. This is the start of the battle, alright.

Ayato: We are ready anytime! Anyhow, let’s get this started! We are long prepared for it.

Ruki: You are ready too, right, you better choose carefully among us all, for it will be your duty.

Kou: First will be our start, well, just wait in the classroom, when we are done we will come in okay~

-everyone leaves from side Mukami-

Kanato:  You will come to hour classroom in an hour right. If you are late I will show no mercy.

Reiji: There is still some time left. While I don’t expect ANYTHING from you all, by all means, do not get in my way.

Subaru: You are making a big fuss about a damned school festival.

Shu: As I thought it is annoying.

Laito: Well let us go too, until later okay, Bitch-chan.

-the Sakamaki leave too-

Scene changes again.

Door opens,

Kou: Welcome home, my lady, fufu, I was waiting for your return. Come over here if you please. Are you fine with this seat. Aha, the seat I will… -pulls the chair back a bit- How about you think of what you wish to get from the menu. Please take your time while I take your order. Hmm? I am doing it rather fluently? To be honest I had this kind of role for an idol job. Thanks to that, I got a big step ahead of the Sakamaki don’t you think?~ Ah, crap Ruki is looking over here. Well then my lady, when you have made your choice you can always call me, well then if you will excuse me. Bye M kitten, choose me okay~

-kou walks off-

A bell rings

Yuma: Thank you for your wait, my lady. Did you call? You asked for tea is that correct? I can prepare both hot and cold tea for you, my lady, which one do you prefer? Understood. Well then, I will be back soon with your order. Ah? It is odd to see me being so serious? Even I can do this kind of job! By the way this far from odd, you Idiot! Even I didn’t want to do this shit. But I have do it. I am doing this for protecting my precious vegetables, if I don’t, the pesticide… -coughs- No it is a talk with myself here. Don’t worry about it.

-walks away and Azusa comes in-

Azusa: Excuse me, my lady. Yuma, hurry up with the lady’s tea, Ruki told…

Yuma: -shrieks- Please excuse me, I will right back, my lady.

Azusa: You know, Yuma, if he doesn’t do a proper job, The entire garden will be destroyed, is what Ruki made him fear now. That is why Yuma has been practicing the butler role, very hard, every day till this day. He sure has put in a lot of effort right. Nfufu. It is interesting to see a different Yuma right. Ah, wait, I need to put in some good work too. Uhm. What do you wish for dinner, my lady. Please choose from this Menu. Eh? You don’t understand the Menu at all? If you wish I (Ore)… no… I (watashi) will explain it to you.  (the first I is the informal version and the second the formal one, in English you don’t have this so I was doubting to keep it like this or type the Japanese word only)

Azusa: Is there anything that you wish to know in particular? Pitagoras? Yes, those are scones. The dish beneath it, Plateau, refers to quiche. Alexandros are, what were they again… Ah those are cookies. Why did you gave them such weird names, you ask. Beats me, Ruki decided on that. I don’t  know why too. Though, it’s cool so it’s fine right? You can taste it too, Ruki taught us the recipe thoroughly. We made them together after all. You chose Pitagoras, understood, well then I will be back with your order. Please wait for a moment.

-Azusa walks away-

Yuma: Forgive my tardiness, my lady. Today’s tea is, da…mnm, Da-ji…Ugh, what? That! –cough- I prepared Darjeeling tea today for you. Oy! Out of all days don’t make me fail this shit! This is a big problem for me! Don’t make me do any out of the ordinary shit, okay! –cough- Well then my lady, enjoy it to your fullest.

-scene change-

Ruki: Please excuse me, my lady, I brought you your dinner. –places the plate- Is there anything wrong you look very surprised. Is there anything you wish to share with me? You are nervous because I different that the usual? Is that so. I am still the same as always though. I wonder just what kind of unease I am making you my lady. I am thinking of your priorities, I am only thinking of my lady, can’t you see the feelings your butler has for his lady? –you get up- Hmm, what seems to be the problem? There is still some time left before you need to go. You remembered something important? I see. Well then, it is dangerous outside, please be careful as you go out. I will wait for your return.

-you run away-

Door slides open.

Ruki: Hmpf, doing it this way, isn’t bad for a change. Did you see that, the expression on her face?

Kou: Uwah, Ruki-kun that is such a bad expression. That expression is out! That is not the expression of a Butler!

Ruki: I don’t care. Since she is not here, the act is already over.

Yuma: Ah I’m broke, man don’t make me do this stupid thing ever again!

Kou: Say, the real thing is tomorrow right.

Yuma: Indeed, those Sakamaki’s are also moving because of that person’s order. It would be fine if we did this tomorrow right? No, I should be fine! Furthermore, I can’t do this anymore!

Azusa: I actually had lots of fun though. It gave me the feeling that I was living for her or something… It felt… really good… nfufu.

Kou: Hmm, it seems we are getting different guests now. While I made sure that no one would be able to bother us… Wow, it really a big mass too.

Ruki: Kou, deal with the masses outside. Yuma will be the one preparing the tea. Azusa will be cleaning the tables. The one who will welcome our ladies, leave that to me.

Yuma: I thought that this play was already over!

Kou: Ruki-kun is the type that isn’t satisfied until it is properly finished after all.

Azusa: Today will be like this the whole day right? Let’s do our best, Yuma

Yuma: Damn it, if it weren’t for my precious vegetables, I wouldn’t do this…

-door slides open-

Ruki: Welcome back, my lady, I was waiting for you.

-scene change-

Door slides open.

Kanato: Too slow! Just how late do you think it is now! Just how long did you intended to make me wait? While I was here waiting for you! “I’m sorry?” Do you think apologizing will do any good?! Since when were you that high ranked! Don’t fuck with me!

Laito: Okay, okay, Kanato-kun, stop, don’t, don’t, today we are butlers, we have to call Bitch-chan as my lady and worship her.

Kanato: Worship… this person? –sighs- I understand, well then, I just have to speak more gently to her right. Say, is the lady that much of a big deal? Since it will be you, I bet there is no charisma or manners of the sort to you right. To make me call her my lady under those conditions you sure dare. It’s unpleasant.

Laito: Kanato-kun that wouldn’t be a butler café, but an abusive café. It can’t be helped, I guess we take this time to reorganize and plan out our strategy for war. I will give you an example. Welcome back, my lady. I have prepared you dinner, come you can take of your outerwear. –you take it off- I will clean this up. Nfu, -breathes in- Ah, the lady’s scent is so, ah, -sniffs again moaning- Ah, what is wrong, my lady, I told you I would take care of your outerwear. Eh? If I am going to do something weird to it give it back? Nfu, it’s fine right, I am just smelling the scent of the clothing. Furthermore, taking care of the clothing you took of is the task of a butler. Somehow, don’t you feel it when I did that? Nfu~

Subaru: The one who has this kind of nasty habit is only you! You damned pervert! Lend me that, I will do it.

Laito: Saying that, in fact you just want to do it right Subaru-kun. Entering the Butler act.

Subaru: Who the fuck wants to do this! Don’t lump in with you! Here, you take your seat already. If you keep on standing at the entrance it will be a nuisance! Huh? Invite me in like a butler would do you say. Don’t fuck with me! Why would I… Ngh… That this is a butler café, I won’t participate. Damn it! I understand! Don’t look at me with those eyes! What should I call you? Ngh… This way if you please… My… Lady…

Kanato: Ehe, you actually did it. You sure managed to do that. With her as opponent.

Laito: Subaru-kun. If you look like that if will only look more embarrassing you know~

Subaru: Ngh, Shut up! I didn’t ask for this! Go away! Ngh, You start moving already, damn it!

-you move-

Ayato: Yo, you came Tiny Tits. Over here, sit over here. Huh, where you ask, here I am pointing it out for you. On Ore-sama’s lap. Why are you running away? Wait you ass! –chuckles- What is wrong, my lady, your face is all red. Ah, you jerk don’t struggle, sit still! Huh? Why on top of my lap you ask. Because you know a butler’s task is to please his woman right? That is why I am doing this. You like this right? Then I will give you a kiss as a service…

Shu: Move it!

Ayato: Ouch! What the fuck Shu!

Shu: You’re job is already done right? You are in the way with your play. From here on it will be my task. Just how long do you intend to sit on the floor? Hurry up and get up.

Ayato: You lazy ass! You better not be complaining when I get you back for this!

Shu: If you actually remember it, you will probably forget it. Well, what are you standing around for. There is a chair, how about you took a seat. –you sit down- Huh? What I am in charge of you ask. If I am not mistaken I am in charge of the tea. Though, I don’t remember it clearly. Huh? Am I not going to pour some tea, you say. No way, too lame. Furthermore, as if Reiji will allow me to touch it with one finger… Ah, this cup is Reiji’s, if you don’t want people touching it, don’t go bringing it with you! If you want some tea how about you pour it yourself? The stuff you need are over there right. I am going to sleep. –sleeps-

Reiji: Seriously, this was to be expected. That no one would take this seriously, to be expecting someone would do this right, in fact it is rather disappointing. Excuse me for the trouble, my lady. You wished for some tea is that correct. I will prepare it for you shortly. –prepares the tea- Excuse me for the wait, this is Earl Grey. I also prepared some milk for you, do you wish to have some? –you drop a spoon and want to pick it up- Ah, leave it as it is, I will bring you a new one. While I prepare this, my lady, please enjoy your dinner further. It would be a problem if you kept staring at me, my lady. Is there something on my face? I see. If there is nothing, it is fine. If there is anything on your mind, by all means… -you continue- My lady, since it is not according to the right etiquette, it not good to leave your saucer on top of the table. Also, you must never leave your fingers from the handle. This is not mere hot water. Hold it properly. The way you eat your meal, is deplorable, if you are planning to spoil it, how about to throw it all? Also, if you don’t wish to use the knife, that is fine. If you can’t drink you tea right, why do you think I am doing this butler act. Also, as you speak there is cream on your lips. Seriously, such a vile little lady you are. Ah, look, don’t use your fingers, there is a  napkin right. Use that!

-scene change-

Ruki: It seems everyone ended this safely…

Subaru:  Oy, how some you guys look like you have had a hundred of guests?

Ayato: Well Tiny Tits! Have you decided! Who the best butler is. It is Ore-sama of course!

Kanato: You can’t decide? Does that mean no one really acted like a true butler?

Yuma: Huh! Don’t fuck with me little Piglet! There is no way that I wouldn’t be doing that shit without proper feels.

Laito: Though I can understand it a little bit. I don’t know how the Mukami household did it, though on our side, no one actually did act like a butler… While we DID saw this as a little play.

Kou: Well it was about the same here too, well, a vampire being a butler being an Idol, is something that can’t be helped right?

Shu: The last thing is only you right

Reiji: Hold on, the other nine apart, how dare you not to choose me, explain this?

Ruki: If you say that, I have a complaint as well. My act should have been perfect. This is not satisfying.

Kou: No, with you she seemed to have had the most fun Ruki-kun.

Azusa: Say, if no one is chosen, what will do about the battle?

Yuma: We will find a different way to settle it of course. What is next, shall we hold a beating match?

Ayato: Idiot. We are vampires. If there is a best way to battle it out, there is only one best way. We will drink her blood of course.

Ruki: I see, that is indeed the best way.

Laito: I approve of that too. But, nfufu, since one by one will take a lot of time, how about we do it all together? As of expected of me, doing it with ten will be hard but is worth to try right?

Kou: -giggles- Indeed, vampires, need to suck blood after all.

Azusa: Ah, if you do that, a lot of blood will come and many scars will arrive too right? Fufu, so good!~

Yuma: No, no, wait up, if we do her all at the same time she will die definitely!

Kanato: I don’t mind that though. Though when she loses consciousness it won’t have any meaning right.

Shu: Furthermore, I don’t want to share my food.

Laito: If it were me, even if my bitch-chan were messed up, I wouldn’t mind taking her. A nine-some with the Bitch-chan, ahn, I wonder what kind of scent will be released. Nfu.

Subaru: As always this is creeping me out. I don’t even want it be to a threesome. If you are still bitching about it I will drink first.

Ayato: Don’t fuck with me Subaru! The first one will be this Ayato-sama of course!

Reiji: Seriously, you are all too loud!

Ruki: That said, the one we are talking about isn’t here anymore.

Subaru: huh?

Ayato: Ah! That Tiny Tits did she fled! Wait the fuck up!

Kanato: I am going too. I am not satisfied until I get a certain reward after all the hard work I did.

Laito: Ayato-kun if you find her, I want to do with all ten of us ok~

Ruki: They sure are tough and energetic, your little brothers…

Reiji: That is only thing they are good at.

Shu: -yawns- I am going to sleep

Kou: Furthermore, the real school festival is tomorrow right… will everything be all right now everyone is thinking like this? Say Subaru-kun

Subaru: That is why Don’t ask me! So my first school festival will end up like this?

Ayato: Wait up! Tiny Tits!!!!

Send me a ml character, and i will answer your question!
  • Marinette: Do you consider yourself clumsy?
  • Adrien: Do you have many friends, or just a group of close ones?
  • Chloé: Do you constantly buy new clothes, or do you re-use old ones?
  • Alya: Do you idolize someone? Who?
  • Nino: What music do you listen to?
  • Nathanaël: Do you draw when bored?
  • Juleka: Did you have a phase when you always wore black?
  • Rose: Are you an optimist, or a pessimist?
  • Max: Whats your favorite video game?
  • Kim: Do you consider yourself fast?
  • Jagged Stone: Do you play an instrument? If so, which one(s)?
  • Mayor: Are you a leader, or a follower?
  • Butler: Tea or coffee?
  • Ladybug: Do you always put others first?
  • Chat Noir: Are you the flirty type?( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • Gabriel Agreste: Are you the only child?
  • Lila: Have you ever met a celebrity? Which one?
  • Manon: Favorite show as a kid?
  • Hawk Moth: If you were a miraculous holder, who would you become as transformed?
  • Akuma: How bad is your temper?
  • Tikki: Fave kind of treat?
  • Plagg: Are you grumpy?
  • Thank you (: