Ok, I am dying with Cas feels as per usual, but it was dean that broke my heart in this ep. Dean, whose greatest fear is telling people how much he cares and then them leaving him. Cas did what he feared most- but Dean is so sure of Cas he didn't shut him out like he did other times people do that. He just got angry and set out to find him. yes, to kick his feathery butt, but also- he actually went? He refused to let cas leave him? just??? feelings ******
GOD it’s like!!! Castiel did literally everything wrong in this episode as far as Dean goes. He acknowledged that he did receive the voicemails Dean was leaving, and he still didn’t pick up his phone. He comes back to the bunker and gains Dean’s trust back by falling into some quiet intimacy when the two of them are alone, and then he betrays that trust by stealing from him in the same moment. He, for all intents and purposes, steals the Impala. The IMPALA. After Dean handed him the keys. These are all Dean’s biggest pain points and insecurities! And Dean fixes Castiel’s stupid truck and he follows him because it’s literally the only thing to do.
But it’s not just obligation. It’s obviously not. Because when Dean thinks Castiel is about to die, he still screams. “No!!!” He’s clutching his broken arm, sprawled in the dirt, and all Dean can worry about is Castiel’s wellbeing. After Castiel pulls out a win - finally, fuck - Dean walks toward him in almost a daze. After everything, he still trusts Castiel to put his hands on him and heal him, so he lets him. This episode hurt like hELL, but mostly because Dean isn’t running away. He isn’t letting GO. This episode put at its forefront the struggle of Castiel proving his devotion to the Winchesters, but through showing and not telling it was also about the Winchesters’ (Dean’s) devotion right the fuck back at Castiel.
If the last few days have reminded me of anything, it’s that there’s a ridiculous double standard for gay characters.
One of the most frequent complaints about my fic was that everyone was gay and it was unrealistic, and when I put up my notice that I was leaving ffnet, one of the most frequent whiners defended himself by saying that it was his right to be offended by pairings with no basis, who were just randomly paired together.
This is particularly hilarious because I threw in a straight pairing with even less set up, and no one said anything. Certainly not him.
The pairing in question wasn’t even blatant, but they’d already had a conversation regarding fears, a few moments of mutual admiration, and shared an understanding of each other’s fears and issues. This is honestly more than a lot of het pairings get, and I’m just so frustrated that the kind of people who complain about this can say I’m not a homophobe and be believed.
Treating people as people isn’t some sort of gay agenda. It’s reality.
<b>us:</b> we need updates, it's been too long<p/><b>mark:</b> *drops by casually in the airport with his new hair looking like the definition of perfection and looking good like always, trying to attack us*<p/><b>us:</b> what the-<p/><b>us:</b> suddenly im a mark stan<p/></p>