do you mind me asking, do you think ross truly loves demelza? why does he cheat on her? also, does he only cheat once?
Hi. I’m really no expert! I’ve read the books but others are so much more steeped in them and can answer much better than me - pile on in people :)
Anyway, what I think…
Yes, Ross loves Demelza, he doesn’t realise how deeply and truly quite yet, but he really does. I don’t think he ever stops loving her through the difficult days of books 3 and 4 (Series 2 in the show).
The show suggests that Demelza knows this too, even though she fears that he loves Elizabeth more and she worries that he doesn’t desire her in the same way anymore. The show also had Ross being completely dumbfounded when it crosses his mind she might think that (before the event with Elizabeth, obviously).
Why is he unfaithful with Elizabeth? So many many reasons. Lost love, idealisation, lust, unfinished emotional business, some awful need to ‘possess’ her before she marries George…. Would Ross have been unfaithful with Elizabeth without the crisis of that terrible night, I wonder, probably not, it might all have stayed suppressed and poisonous to his marriage for many more years. Would he have cheated with anyone other than Elizabeth? I don’t believe so.
Ross cheats once, never again. Their relationship is turbulent and tested in future, but not by any further infidelity by Ross.