Squad Goals Season 3 Episode 9


“Put this on YouTube! Maybe it’ll get more dislikes than the ‘baby’ music video!” Selena yells. We’re all in the newly furnished common room surrounding Justin as a barber with a handle bar mustache unpacks a bag full of clippers.

“That video was fucking classic okay?” Justin defends but our friends laugh and wave off the claim.

“Are you nervous?” I ask and he shrugs before a black cape is put over his shoulders by the barber.

“Nah. Hair is hair. You’ll still think I’m sexy right?” I nod and kiss his cheek soundly,

“Even if you were bald”

“Or had a green Mohawk?”

“Are you getting a green Mohawk?”

“No, but would you still love me?” I pretend to think about my answer and then kiss his cheek again before whispering a teasing,

“Love is a very strong word” he rolls his eyes which widen when the clippers turn on.

“This is how I felt when I saw Harry audition on X Factor!” Selena says fanning herself with anticipation. Jack hides his face in her neck and laughs.

“Oi, why me?” Harry calls from the fridge he’d been raiding and Selena shrugs.

“Just thought you were a goner” Zayn, Niall and a jet lagged looking Louis nod in subtle agreement.

“I’ll post this to Instagram” Kylie says pulling out her phone I do the same but open up the snapchat app.

“It’s my hair shouldn’t it be on my Instagram?” We ignore him and aim our cameras.

“Ready Man?” The barber asks and Justin nods and takes a deep breathe like he was about to get a flu shot or something.

“Fuck” Justin breathes out as a clump of dreads tumbles to the ground I have to hold in my gasp when the barber keeps going and more platinum hair just floats away.

“This is so satisfying!” Kendall calls from the couch one of her long ass  arms recording the entire ordeal.

“My head feels way lighter” Justin comments easily and then I glance down at all the hair and nod,

“It should”

“Aw his hair is actually brown underneath all that shit? Cute” Gigi comments and Zayn wraps his arms around her and nibbles at her neck.

“You kiss your baby with that mouth?” Cara drawls and Gigi sticks out her tongue.

“And…. We are done” the barber says before spraying Justin’s head with various yummy smelling products.

“Go take a look man. I think it looks sick” he says in a revered tone and I have to agree. The black cape is removed and the barber starts to dust away excess hair.

“Oh damn!” Justin exclaims when he comes back from checking himself out in the bathroom mirror. He approaches the barber with a crisp hundred dollar bill and a handshake.

“Thanks for making me even hotter bro, appreciate you” the barber laughs, gathers his things and proceeds to leave. The maids would have to clean up the discarded dreads.

“I look hot as fuck. Harry. Take notes.” Harry raises his hands up to the sky as if to ask why he was always the butt of our jokes. I don’t even think we had an answer for that.

“Ooh look at my man” I say in a New Yorker accent and he smiles before wrapping himself around me,

“Do I look sexy?”

“Mhmm” he places his mouth closer to my ear and tugs on my lobe.

“Sexy enough to christen this new hairstyle with some p-”

“Jesus bloody Christ! We’re all here you animals! We aren’t fuckin’ voyeurs!” Niall says in loud exasperation. I sigh,

“He’s right. Quickie upstairs?” Justin nods and flips off the group before picking me up and racing towards the elevator.

“Rotten sinners!” Louis calls tiredly  and I don’t have a moment to think of the irony. Everyone in this compound was ’ living in sin’.


“What’s there to do here you Brits?” Kendall purses her lips at my choice of nickname, but I ignore her and focus on the Londoners.

“I’m actually from Ireland love” Niall says nicely and I smile politely, but continue to pester my foreign buddies.

“We could go get fish and chips” Louis suggests and my stomach growls at the mention of food. I nod, hop off the couch and reach for a jacket that hangs behind the door.

“That’s mine!” Harry yells loudly as I try on the brown colored duster. I check myself out a few times in the mirror and decide that it looks way cooler and better on me.

“Would you stop bullying our boy?” Cara pleas in exasperation, attempting to calm a sulking Harry I shrug and head out the door.


We’re crowding the sidewalk in all kinds of disguises shrouding away from any fans that may be lurking about. We’d even gotten a break from the camera crew.

“That’s Adele.” I say through a mouthful of  battered fish  Kylie looks up with mild interest before turning back to the conversation she was holding with Gigi and Rakim.

“It is not Haz!” Cara and Kendall each have an arm looped with mine as we walk down the puddle filled streets of Brighton.

“I swear to god that’s Adele” I say again eyeing a woman who’s wearing a long black trench, a pair of over sized glasses, and putting a grandiose amount of mustard onto a hot dog.

“Why would Adele be eating a  street dog?” Kendall asks before shoving a few chips into her mouth. I shrug and then loop their arms tighter with mine.

“What are we doing Harry?”

“I think you know”

“It’s not her you bloody f-“  I yank her arm before she can protest and tap the women whom I know to be Adele on the back.

"Excuse me?” I ask politely the woman turns around, a hot dog lodged halfway into her mouth.

“Hmm?” I wait for her to chew the remaining parts and she looks at me through her thick Prada glasses.

“You’re Adele right?” She lets out a loud echoing laugh, one so rich that it could only come from someone with vocals such as hers.

“Adele? I wish!” She says before reaching for a bottle of relish to slather her dog in.

“See? We’re sorry to bother you ma'am” Kendall begins but I’m persistent.

“It’s me. Harry styles” I hiss this under my breath and then pull away the fake little mustache that rests on my face. Her eyes widen and then I’m being crushed into a huge bear hug.

“Little hazzah?” I nod and hide my smirk into her scarf as Kendall and Cara unloop from me grumbling their surprise.

“Hey Delly. What’re you doing here?” She wipes a bit of mustard from the corner of her lip and motions for the three of us to follow her to an empty stoop. 

“I’m on me baby moon” she must notice my confused expression and after another bite of food she answers,

“it’s a vacation you go on before you have a baby" 

"you’re having another baby? Congrats D-” she shushes me and pulls the scarf closer around her face. 

“I’m not having another bloody ankle biter. Love my Angelo to death, I do, but I needed a fuckin’ break” Cara and Kendall giggle and she gives them a warm smile. 

“What are you guys doing over here?” With Kylie comes everyone and their bloody mothers. 

“Chatting with me” Adele says offering Kylie her hand. Kylie pulls her beanie further over her head, but takes her hand regardless. 

“Adele” says Adele simply and Kylie simply stand and shakes her hand with a dazed expression. 

“So. What are the lot of you up to? No good I hope?” Kylie motions between all of us and it takes her a few moments of starstruck awe before she can open her lippy mouth. 

“We’re just being stupid,” Zayn says and then Kylie blurts out,

“Want to join? I mean you don’t have to of course. You’re probably busy… Because you’re Adele…” Adele laughs and glances at all of us before giving a grand old shrug,

“A near thirty year old hanging out with a bunch of kids? I’ve got nothing else to do let’s fucking go!" 

"The only kid here is Kylie” I mumbled to which I’m given a swift kick to the bum. 

✨W A T T P A D: 1-800-hotlinebizzle✨ ✨T U M B L R: 1800hotlinebizzle✨ ✨ W E H E A R T I T: SquadGoalsbyRen✨ ✨ T W I T T E R: SG_the_series✨

-@wave4mee mentioned Adele and I loved that


Just wanna remind y'all of that time Donghae and Eunhyuk fucked it up with their I Wanna Love You solo