but-really-this-quote

madmaenad  asked:

Hello I am here to ask you about your headcanons about elves *chinhands*

and i will point you towards this post here, which only begins to break the surface of my headcanons about elves. And then i’m going to ramble at you too, because i am nowhere near done. You get the “headcanons about elvish / mortal interaction” ramble that makes fuck all sense i’m sorry

- in general, elves really don’t give a fuck about men, and even less of a fuck about hobbits. This quote really sums it up for me: 

It is not easy for us to tell the difference between two mortals,’ said the elf. ‘Nonsense, Lindir,’ snorted Bilbo. ‘if you can’t distinguish between a Man and a Hobbit, your judgement is poorer than i imagined. They’re as different as peas and apples.’ ‘Maybe. To sheep other sheep no doubt appear different,’ laughed Lindir. ‘Or to shepherds. But mortals have not been our study. We have other business’. (FotR, book II, chapter 1, ‘Many meetings’)

and this is from an elf in residence in Rivendell, which, out of all the third age elvish settlements, probably has the most interaction with mortals. Even so, mortals apparently rate not much higher than sheep. I imagine the shepherd Lindir references is supposed to be Elrond, lol. 

- that said, elves in general pay more attention to dwarves than they do to men. possibly because they have longer lifespans, but also because dwarves have much longer memories, and friendships and grudges often carry over through multiple generations. That said, there’s that post which points out that elves didn’t understand the concept of mortality until Beor died, despite having been in close contact with the dwarves for centuries… 

- This post is now being interrupted to bring you some unasked for Maglor headcanons, sorry! Maglor never actually speaks in anything other than old Valinorian Quenya. However, you know that scene at the start of FotR? where Galadriel is talking and you can hear the sindarin in the background, just a couple of beats behind? imagine that, in reverse. Now you’ve got Maglor talking! He knows a huge amount of languages and he tends to mimic dialects very well (bc, you know, telepathic). He learnt Khuzdul from Aule, because why wouldn’t he? Aule is the God of Craft and Maglor’s craft is Language. Anyway, as far as i’m concerned, Maglor never actually threw the silmaril in the sea, that’s just a nice poetic ending that conveniently started being spread after he disappeared. I think he met up with Elros, Elrond, and Celebrimbor, got Celebrimor to build him a lantern in which he could keep the silmaril, and went off exploring and learning new languages and occasionally turning up in Numenor, Eregion, and Rivendell to talk to his sons and nephew and bring them presents.

- now that we are talking about elves and languages, most elves don’t bother learning westron, especially in the hidden cities like Lothlorien. More elves speak it in Rivendell, if only so they can compose rude songs about travellers. 

- oh! speaking of rude songs about travellers in Rivendell, mortals don’t have mental shielding, and elves tend to forget not to read their minds, which sometimes leads to awkwardness. Or rude songs.

- and mortals find it hard to live among elves, for a number of reasons. a. Telepathy. b. they don’t really sleep?? and if they do, it’s definitely not at night. I think that they probably have a period of quiet in the middle of the day where you either sleep or spend time with family or have sex, so that come midnight you are ready to party. Elves definitely find mortals need to sleep eight hours every day utterly bemusing. The only time they would need to sleep that long all at once would be if they didn’t sleep at all for, like, a month. 

- Don’t drink Elvish alcohol. You’ve been warned. 

she pretends like nothing happened because she wants people to see how strong she is. only she knows how painful and emotional she really is
—  (via sturzpoesie IG)