but-mostly-the-worst

Jake Peralta: Stepdad!AU

So this was going to be an actual fic, but, alas, any sort of narrative wouldn’t come, so instead allow me to offer a series of (not at all canon-timeline compliant) headcanons about Amy Santiago’s tiny daughter taking Jake in as part of the family:

  • When Amy starts at the Nine-Nine, she is Very Adamant that Jake will never meet Maya, largely because a) He’s the worst, and b) Maya doesn’t need to see her mother curse out a fellow employee, but mostly c) He’s The Worst.
  • Except she only lasts twelve days, at which point Captain McGinley calls her in on her day off because he’s finally realized that his new detective has started and he wants to meet her, even though they have met four (4) times and he’s assigned two cases to her and Jake
    • It’s supposed to be a short meeting and she promises a very teary-eyed Maya that she’ll be real quick, but she needs to go in without Maya because McGinley looks like he might yell for some reason, Amy can just tell, and Sarge isn’t here and Amy barely knows anyone else and Jake offers, basically
    • Maya is just v. v. teary when Amy blows her a quick kiss before entering McGinley’s office
    • The meeting lasts exactly forty-seven minutes
    • Amy expects A Disaster when she gets out, or at the very least a very stressed-out Jake trying to pass her daughter off on someone else
    • But instead Maya is sitting in Jake’s lap with two of his superhero figurines gripped between her sweaty little hands, patiently telling a story while Jake writes on a piece of paper next to her
    • “And then there’s a dragon,” Maya says breathlessly, and Jake nods along patiently
    • “Fire-breathing or bearded?” he offers, and Maya really considers it for a moment before deciding on bearded. “Got it, I’ve jotted that down.”
    • “I thought no one was allowed to touch your dolls?” Amy asks when she gets to them, and she’s a little stressed out about this whole situation because Jake is suddenly, like, a kind person? Who’s been watching her daughter for forty-seven minutes and counting?
    • “Uh, obviously this is Red Metal Man and Mr. Star, okay.”
    • It’s not. It’s Iron Man and Captain America, and Amy can tell because she’s not totally out of the loop of the cultural zeitgeit, okay, and she sometimes pays attention to movie posters and has very definitely seen at least two of the superhero movies
    • “Plus I believe I said no Santiagos, and that was back before I knew there was a cool Santiago in the clan.”
    • Maya, meanwhile, has grabbed a pen off of Jake’s desk and is now leaning precariously over said desk and drawing on some of the large blank spaces Jake had left on the paper
    • And Amy realizes that Jake was writing down Maya’s story but made sure there was room so she could draw
    • Jake grins at her sheepishly, braces Maya with one hand on her back to make sure she doesn’t slip, and says, “It’s her vision, and she’s, like, a really good storyteller.”
    • Amy swoons, but in a low-key, subtle way. Probably.
    • Anyway, but Jake is also The Worst, so it doesn’t matter

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anonymous asked:

I've got a cold and had me thinking of two ideas, here's the first, how do the batfamily act when their sick

Second idea: how does bat boys care for their sick s/o

I combined both of your requests together so I hope you don’t mind! I really like making headcanon for requests like this cause I just like letting my imagination run wild! It’s also long so I’ve put it under the cut!

Bruce:

  • He wouldn’t stop working even if he is super sick. Alfred will try to make him stop working but he probably will eat his medicine and continue working, even if he isn’t up for going on patrols, he will probably sit in front of the computer to do some research. 
  • Which means Alfred might have to call in back-up aka you. Despite knowing how stubborn Bruce is, you are even more stubborn than him so you will not give up until he promises to stop working. You might even have to entice him in to resting by promising to do his work for him. 
  • When it comes to his own well-being, Bruce just doesn’t quite know when to take a break too. You just have to make him his favourite soup and cuddle with him. 
  • “I swear to God, Bruce Wayne, if you aren’t in this bed in five minutes!“ 
  • Bruce likes being held and or touched when he is sick. Doesn’t matter if you are holding his hand or he has his head on your lap. Sometimes he even lets you hold him in his arms. 
  • "Bruce, love, you’re always making sure to take care of people so now, let me take care of you.”
  • If you were the one that is sick, rest assure that Bruce will most definitely take care of you just as you had taken care of him! 
  • Bruce will go out of his way to get you all of your favourite things: flowers, DVD, pillows, blankets and even chocolates, whatever he knows you might need, he will give it to you.
  • If you tell Bruce to stay away because you don’t want him to get sick, tough luck. Bruce will still continue to be by your side. He gets restless whenever he has to leave you alone. Of course he goes on his patrols but that won’t stop him from worrying about you. 
  • “Y/N, I placed a bin beside your bed just in case. Alfred packed some soup and I have heated one up for you so eat that before you take your medicine. Love you.” Bruce would leave notes like this if he has to leave for urgent business meetings or patrols. 

Dick:

  • The type to just stay at home and takes care of himself. Probably won’t even bother telling anyone about him being sick too cause he just doesn’t want to bother anyone. This never lasts long because somehow, Alfred will still show up outside his apartment with some soup or he will send you along to his apartment with some soup. 
  • Of course knowing your boyfriend is sick, makes you kinda panicky for a bit because for as long as you remember, Dick rarely ever gets sick so when he gets sick, he really is sick. Runny nose, coughing, teary eyes, headache, sneezing - anything you can think of, he probably has it. 
  • “Babe! What are you doing here?” As soon as he asks you that, he will cough non-stop and you probably have to lead him to the kitchen to make him some honey lemon tea for his throat and then proceed to make sure he is well taken care of. 
  • You will even tuck him in, not minding his protests about how he doesn’t want you to get sick, etc. You make sure he eats his medicine before telling him to sleep it off. You might even read him a book of his own choice because why not. Dick’s relationship with you is very domesticated. 
  • If you happen to get sick because of taking care of him, Dick will ask you to stay over at his place (or he goes over to yours!) so he can keep an eye on you. 
  • "Hey, Alfred. Can you teach me how to make porridge? Y/N’s fallen sick so I want to make something for her.” Expect Dick to call Alfred multiple times to ask him how to make comfort food for you. 
  • If you’re the type to also get headaches when you are sick, Dick will rub your scalp or give you back rubs. His cool hands feel nice on your body.

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Stefan Imagine

*Hope you don’t mind me putting these two together x*

@kaitlynw011 - Could you do a Stefan Salvatore imagine with #1 Dance with me where you’ve been best friends forever and he’s in love with you. There ends up being a masquerade party and he confesses his feeling to you without you knowing it and then later you see his mask at his house and confess you share the feeling. Please

#1 “Dance With me”

@btsxexogirl  Hi! Can you do #21 where Stefan is in love with the reader? 


#21 “You’ve never felt pain until you’ve felt love” 

(Warning: It’s very long!)

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Emergency Contact

I am so excited to share this with you all! It is a story co-authored by myself and the amazing @readerislandwrites ! It took a very long time to write (mostly because I am the worst) but here it is. It was so much fun to write because it was as if we were inside each other’s brain. Hopefully there will be more amazing joint stories to come!

Make sure to check out @readerisland / @readerislandwrites

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thegaypumpingthroughyourveins  asked:

Graves, Newt and a fistfight. I've been dying to read stuff about Graves resorting to dirty, muggle means of fighting, resulting in him being bloody and beaten up and disheveled and shit.

G. A fistfight

Newt found him in a No-Maj bar. Thus far, this was the highlight of Graves’ day, which had included being put on probation pending mandatory counseling and having his wand permit temporarily suspended until he was deemed fit to return to active duty. 

Up until Newt, the only good thing about Graves’ evening had been managing to find a speakeasy and spending a few hours pouring what tasted like straight acid down his throat. (He preferred the moonshine to gigglewater, not that he would ever tell Picquery this. And frankly, tonight, he wasn’t looking to giggle.)

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anonymous asked:

Every blog always has a what if mc was a kpop star or was a amazing singer...how would the rfa and v and unknown react if mc was tone deaf and sounded like nails on a chalkboard(mostly because I'm the worst singer ever, btw I love your blog :3 )

Okay but that’s literally me too! My singing voice is so awful too so I feel you lol! I’m sorry it took me so long to write this but I hope that you like it!! :D


Yoosung

  • Yoosung was off in his room playing games like usual so you decided to take a shower
  • He won yet another round of LOLOL and took a little break
  • When he took his headphones off, Yoosung heard what sounded like someone screeching to a song from in the bathroom
  • Yoosung shuddered at the horrible noise and assumed that it was a song that you were playing from your phone
  • When you got out of the shower, you walked into the kitchen to find Yoosung making some dinner
  • “Hey MC what was song were you listening to in the shower? And who was the singer, they were awful!” Yoosung asked you
  • You turned your head in embarrassment and awkwardly answered “Uh that was me singing Yoosung.”
  • He immediately feels so bad and runs over to hug you almost crying as he says “I’m so so so sorry MC! You weren’t that bad, really! I’m just a little tired from gaming and I probably didn’t really understand what I was listening to, please forgive me!”
  • You told him that it was alright and that you wouldn’t try to sing as loudly anymore
  • But Yoosung still felt horrible and made your favorite dinner for you and kept reassuring you that you weren’t really that bad of a singer

Zen

  • Zen was practicing his script for a new musical that he was starring in with you - He had a long singing part that he was excited about
  • Zen had the voice of an angel and you loved listening to him practice  
  • Once he finished practicing for his solo song, Zen asked for you to practice a duet song with him
  • He started singing the first part and when it was your turn, you sang your heart out to try and be as good as Zen
  • You finished singing your part and looked at Zen excited to hear what his opinion was on your singing - Zen’s eyes went wide, how could someone as perfect as you have such a terrible singing voice?
  • “So how did I do Zen?” You asked him - He blinked a couple of times and forced a smile saying “Your singing voice is uh good MC.”
  • You smiled brightly and hugged him, telling him how excited you were that Zen approved of your singing voice
  • Zen smiled and hugged you back, there was no way he could tell you how awful your singing voice was
  • “Hey MC, how about I give you some singing lessons to make your voice even better!” Zen told you
  • You happily agreed and Zen sighed in relief
  • Even though your singing voice was atrocious, Zen taught you some basic skills and over time it got slightly better
  • Zen just made sure not to let you sing in public for both your own sake and his

Jaehee

  • You and Jaehee were closing up the cafe for the night after a long day
  • You were cleaning up the cups while Jaehee was sweeping the floor
  • Jaehee was singing in a small voice and your eyes lit up when you heard her
  • You knew the song she was singing so you decided to join in and sing in your best voice
  • Well your best singing voice was simply terrible and Jaehee jumped when she heard you sing - “MC… What in the world was that?” Jaehee asked cautiously
  • You smiled and said “That was me singing silly! You have a great singing voice Jaehee, we should sing together sometime!”
  • Jaehee sighed and decided to state the obvious and say “MC, your singing voice isn’t very good. But mine isn’t either so let’s not sing together.”
  • You frowned a little but agreed saying “Yeah I guess you’re right. We can just listen to Zen sing in one of his musicals instead!”
  • Jaehee smiled in relief and nodded saying that she wholeheartedly agreed with you
  • So for he rest of the night and Jaehee cuddled on the couch and watched Zen’s musicals, neither of you singing along  
  • Jaehee was silently relieved that you took the news about your singing voice so well and decided that she would tell you all about your good qualities instead

Jumin

  • After another long, stressful day of work, Jumin was looking forward to coming home
  • On his way home, he thought about how he wanted to have a nice dinner with you and just cuddle each other for the rest of the night
  • Jumin walked in to the penthouse and the sound of someone’s singing was heard
  • He thought that his ears would bleed from the horrendous singing so Jumin went to find the source
  • Jumin was left almost speechless when he saw that the horrible singing was coming from you
  • You were laying down on the bed singing in your ‘unique’ singing voice to Elizabeth the 3rd
  • “MC, what’s wrong with your voice?” Jumin asked startling you and Elizabeth the 3rd
  • You smiled saying “I’m just singing a little song for Elizabeth the 3rd! We were both waiting for you to come home and got bored.”
  • Jumin gave you a confused look and said “I don’t understand. Your singing voice is appalling but it seems like Elizabeth the 3rd enjoyed it. She doesn’t even like it when I sing to her…”
  • You pouted and said “Hmph, well maybe my singing voice is better than yours Jumin! I bet you’re an awful singer too, sing something for me.”
  • When you heard Jumin sing, everything became right in the world
  • Jumin smiled when he saw your surprised look and pulled you in for a hug
  • From that night on, you had Jumin sing you to sleep every night since his singing voice was perfection
  • But Jumin still thought that even though your voice was awful, he always had you sing for Elizabeth the 3rd since she seemed to like your singing voice better than his for some very strange reason

Seven

  • You and Seven were bored one night and decided to go out for a karaoke night for something new and fun
  • Seven was extremely hyped when the two of you got there and immediately started searching for duet songs for the two of you to sing
  • Once he found the perfect song, Seven dragged you onto the stage to sing
  • It was some cheesy romance song and it was fun until it was time for your part to sing
  • Never in his life did Seven hear someone sing so horribly and the rest of the crowd agreed
  • Some people started booing you and telling you how terrible your singing voice was
  • When Seven saw you on the verge of tears, he grabbed the microphone and started singing in the worst voice that he could come up with
  • Everyone’s attention was now focused on Seven who then told him how awful of a singer he was
  • He had enough of the rude people and took your hand and lead you back to his car
  • “Why did you do that Saeyoung? I mean I know that I’m not a great singer, but I didn’t realize that I was that bad.” You sad sadly to Seven
  • Seven scratched the back of his neck and said “Well no offense, but your singing voice is kind of… bad. But there’s no way I’m letting those people get away with saying those mean things about you. They’re going to be destroyed by the Defender of Justice!”
  • So that night, Seven went through and hacked into all of the obnoxious audience member’s accounts and essentially ruined them for making fun of you
  • When he was finished, Seven told you all kinds of jokes to make you feel better and he said that he could use your terrible singing voice as a weapon against the other RFA members when they wouldn’t listen to him
  • You agreed because who couldn’t say no to this adorable dork?

V

  • You and V were doing some spring cleaning mostly cleaning out his thousands of pictures that he’s taken
  • V was in the other room tidying up and humming to himself in his own little world
  • But he was rudely awakened when he heard some kind of terrible singing
  • He assumed that you were playing some kind of music and went to investigate
  • V’s eyes widened when he heard the awful singing wasn’t coming from some one else, but it was coming from you
  • “Is something wrong V?” You asked as he continued to stare at you
  • “Was that you singing just now MC?” V questioned
  • “Yes it was! Why? Was it really that bad?” You asked nervously
  • V smiled telling you no that your voice was beautiful and he was just surprised was all
  • There was no way this angel could break your heart and tell you that your singing was horrible, no matter how bad it really was
  • So for the rest of the day, you sang in your awful voice to V and he only smiled, telling you how good you were
  • At the end of the day you had finally convinced V to sing a little something for you
  • And when you heard him sing, you told him that you would rather him sing than you since he was clearly much better
  • V had never been so thankful in his life at your request

Unknown

  • Saeran was acting moodier than usual today and that was saying something
  • You felt bad for him since he seemed more sad than anything else so you thought of some ways to cheer Saeran up
  • You grabbed him some ice cream and sat down on the couch with him handing him a spoon
  • Saeran started to feel a little bit better so when he was done, you made him lay down on the bed to cuddle with him
  • You laid behind Saeran, stroking his hair and he seemed to be calming down
  • That was until you thought it would be a good idea to sing a little song to help him fall asleep
  • Saeran sat straight up when he heard your terrible singing and gave you a strange look
  • “MC, what the hell was that?”
  • “I was just trying to sing you a little song to help you fall asleep since you seem kind of upset… I’m sorry if I did something to upset you.” You said sadly to Saeran
  • He sighed and said “Well yeah your singing voice sucks. It’s worse than Saeyoung’s laugh.”
  • You were about to get up and leave him alone but Saeran grabbed your arm and pulled you back onto the bed
  • “Your singing voice may be awful but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you. Sorry if I hurt your feelings and thanks for trying to make me feel better.” Saeran mumbled
  • You had always made Saeran feel better because of your kind heart but Saeran made a mental note not to ask you to sing for him ever again
  • Unless it was to make Seven go crazy

anonymous asked:

Honestly,what's the worst thing dusk has caught Becky or is she quite innocent?

Kind of a vague question, but I’m gonna guess that it’s mostly “what’s the worst thing Becky was busted for?”

There are a few, but the biggest is the primary reason she’s not allowed to battle anymore, and that’s because death is an extremely high probability. It was either that she made a mistake in gauging her strength and killed her opponent, or she would go feral at the drop of a hat and kill her opponent. 

There are also a few incidents in which she had nearly killed and eaten other trainers’ Pokemon while she ran off to hunt. Weirdly some kind of guideline Dusk set out for her after the fact did manage to set in with her. 

No matter any training and discipline, Becky is still a wild animal. 

Meet The Spudmuffins!

We’re not all in every stream,
so here’s a chance to meet the team!

@yourstaineddoll
Lilith Nocturne
‘The Boss Bitch’
YouTube, Facebook, The Final Say( including usually what’s for dinner)
It/Its

@irineur
Cupid Heartrend
‘Art Dude’
Draws the shit, makes us look nice (makes the best food)
They/Them||He/Him


@kelagon
Krystal Duda 
‘Promo Me Bitch’
Tumblr, Twitter, Perfection on a good day, mostly trash (makes the worst food)
She/Her||They/Them

@spooky-princess-sylvia
Sylvia Mason
‘Banhammer Bitch’
Newest member, will kick your ass to the Dark Carnival (cooking skills unknown)
She/Her
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Additional thanks to @carly-rae-transbians for taking Sylvia’s place moderating
And @amethyst-transwoman for requesting these behind the scenes details~

wips tag

tagged by @novocaine-sea​ to talk about my current projects! thanks aja <3 

*fics that haven’t been published yet have titles that are subject to change :D

  • kings in couture
    a devil wears prada au in which victor is the editor-in-chief of a fashion magazine, yuuri’s his new secretary, and instead of talking about his feelings, victor just sends him on a bunch of errands
    • 2/8 chapters with the third on its waaay
  • perfect teeth
    seunggil is a dentist and phichit is his worst patient. he’s also his favorite patient, but mostly, yeah, he’s his worst patient.
    • “You really should floss,” he mutters behind his mask, swiping through the tools with a sterilized cloth. 
      Chulanont considers this. “But then I wouldn’t have an excuse to see you so much, would I?” 
    • short oneshot that is super late for seungchuchu week lolol
  • leaky faucet, creaky floors
    a college/university au where phichit and yuuri are flatmates and victor is the friendly neighbor who lives across the hall
    • “Someone broke in last night,” Phichit says.
      Yuuri grips the phone closer to his ear. “Did they take anything?”
      “No, but they left something.”
    • belated-belated-belated-OTL-OTL bday fic for hailey 
  • people will stare
    reverse kic oneshot for stephanie (also belated-belated womp womp)
  • heavens help me
    in which yuri is cupid, god of love, and the next couple he needs to match is his most impossible assignment yet
    • Seems like you’ve got your work cut out for you, Venus notes.
      Yuri grits his teeth. “That’s the thing. They shouldn’t even need my help.”
      And yet. Her quiet laughter follows him mockingly for the rest of the day.
    • cupid au for the 1k milestone :) 
  • would you be so kind 
    soulmates au where you can see every color except the eye color of your soulmate, until you meet your soulmate and look into their eyes for the first time 
    OR yuuri can’t see the sky, victor can’t see the ground; they meet in the middle
    • “Yuuri, what did you say?” Victor looks shocked. He looks straight into his eyes, and Yuuri’s still not used to seeing blue, will never get used to seeing blue, and he blinks several times.
      “I–uh, I know it’s not an ideal situation,” Yuuri admits. “It’s kind of the most tragic thing, but I think I’m close to finding my soulmate.”
      “Oh?” Victor breathes out. “How is that?”

    • soulmate au for the 1k milestone :) 

tagging @actualyuuri​, @maydei​, @kiaronna​, @lucycamui​, @chessala​ & anyone else who’d like to do it go ahead and say i tagged ya 

2

Gif source:  Bucky

Imagine Bucky being extremely protective of you and watching over every training session to make sure you won’t get hurt.

——— Request for littlepanfangirl ———

He was lurking in the background of every training session, watching and ready to jump in if you at any time looked to possibly be hurt. It made it hard for you to find people to spar with, most avoiding it because of Bucky’s glare and unsaid promise of reciprocating any injury they might inflict on you.

That is, everyone aside from Sam and Steve, but mostly Sam.

“Do your worst!” Sam smirks at you as he gestures for you to come at him, sparing a quick glance to catch Bucky’s jaw clench as he continues, “I won’t go easy on you.”

You grin back at him, preparing to get into the training, “Finally. A challenge.”

Yoongi Scenario: Third Round.

Request: You telling Yoongi you are pregnant with your third child.

Genre: Fluff / Family.


There were times when Yoongi couldn’t arrive home before it was bedtime for the children, so when he finally got home the first thing he did was go to their rooms to catch a glimpse of their sleeping faces. Yonghyun slept in a mess of blankets and moved a lot, Taeyeon, who was recently sleeping on her own bed, slept more peacefully although you had to leave her a dim light for her to feel at ease; being that she was completely out, Yoongi turned off the light and went to your room.

You were still awake, which wasn’t odd, you would often stay awake until very late either reading or working; you two were alike on that aspect.

-I’m home-

-Yoongi- you said his name and he gave you a little smile. –Welcome-

He had already showered at the company so everything he had to do now was take off the clothes and put on the pajamas. Yoongi joined you in bed, peeking at what you were reading.

-What is keeping you awake? -

You showed him the book’s cover. –Just a little novel, nothing too fancy-

Yoongi nodded and moved closer to you, now he was on his side, one of his arms placed over your middle caressing your waist, you noticed how his face was closer too and when he nuzzled at that point just below your ear you felt all your body tremble.

-Yoongi- you warned.

In a second he had taken the book from your hands and was now almost on top of you, his lips going up from your ear, to your jaw and finally your lips. You loved when he kissed you, his lips attacked yours hungrily, the room was getting hotter by each second and you felt dizzy, his hands were moving over your body but now all you could register was your head going in circles. You placed a hand on his chest for him to stop and he did when you pushed a little harder.

He sat on the mattress and you tried to do the same but you almost fell backwards, Yoongi’s arms preventing you from it. –Y/N, what’s wrong? –

You shook your head. –It’s nothing, I’m just a little tired-

Yoongi looked at you for a moment, like searching the reason for what just had happened. He kissed your lips one last time and helped you lay down. –Let’s rest then-

You nodded and in no time fell completely asleep.

Keep reading

Besties (Deadpool x Reader)

@justcallmecinammon​ requested:

Could you do one where reader seriously likes Bucky and deadpool gives her advice since he has his gf? Pretty please? (Reader is short and petite and outgoing and a bit awkward and friends with the avengers but bffs with deadpool and it’s a longish oneshot story and you can come up with the rest of the plot :3) (no angst plz, but fluff, comedy, etc.)

  • Words:  1.397
  • Pairing: Wade Wilson x Reader
  • Warnings: swearing and mentions of sex.
  • Author notes: (Y/N) is your name

Originally posted by deadpoolbugle

Two turns to the key and the door to the worst yet best place in the city. It was good because you got to live with the greatest person in this world, the one and only Wade Wilson, who you met when he made you a favor back in the day with some douche bag that harassed you; but on the other side it was bad because it was in a shit hole. You found him while he was putting on some cream you had bought him for the scars.
 
“Sweet cheeks, what’s with the face?” He asked while rubbing the transparent cream all over his face “You look more fucked up than I do”
“No, that’s impossible” You slightly smiled “Some douche bag literally messed with your money maker, although he was kind enough to give you an even worse attitude and some strength. Nah, I really don’t wanna talk about it” You shrugged, leaving your bag next to the door and your keys over it.
“Don’t tell me it’s the Popsicle turned villain then hero, please don’t” He begged “Pretty, pretty please?”
“Who? Bucky?” You asked “It’s not him” You hurried to answer. Of course it was him.
 
It was always him. The crush that started a year ago became a raging feeling that was too evident whenever you two were together. You usually trained at the tower because you got really along with all of them and mostly because Wade was the worst training partner. He overpowered you at everything and it was basically no training at all. ‘Whining is not training!’ He always said.
“You dirty liar!” He squealed while you washed your hands on the dish sink and he jumped to your side “You can’t lie to me”
“Fuck you pool” You sighed “I had a bad day”
“Come on” He said running to the couch and patting the spot next to him “Wade wants to hear all about it so Deadpool can kick someone’s ass later”
“Man, I was beaten up today by the Avengers… Can I at least have a nap and then we can talk about it over some Chinese food?”
“No way! Come on…” He battered his eyelashes to you; rolling your eyes, you sat next to him, crossing your legs on the couch “So, what happened, and by the way we can have Chinese later.”
“Ok so… I saw the guy with his girlfriend” You sighed “He seemed so happy and… I was there too” You pouted “And he was like ‘Oh hey (Y/N)’” You made up a manly voice and curled your arms, showing some muscle “’This is Claire and she’s my girlfriend’ blah, blah, blah” You stuck your tongue out in disgust “I hate it! He’s so blinded by that girl and… So happy” You pouted again.
“And you’re so blinded by him that it’s kinda disgusting… and very sad” He held back his laughter “Come on (Y/N), you’re a great girl and you’re weeping over him? You could take him down in no time. It was him who beat you up?”
“Emotionally? Yeah, no doubt” You nodded “But I trained with Natasha; she saw me distracted and she… beat me up. I couldn’t do anything.”
 
He awkwardly held you tight and whispered the least comforting words to your ear.
 
“You know, like your best friend in the world… I can legally go and kick his ass, right? Or even better! I can call the other metal guy I know and he can give him this boring speech on why he shouldn’t break your heart” He smiled “By the way, how can you even put your stuff inside that tiny body. I mean, you’re like petite, like… Tiny” He touched your body, amazed by how tiny you were next to him. And to everybody actually.
“Can you stop bugging me, I’m gonna cut you in pieces and you are gonna take a while to recover”
“But physical scars are not like the ones you have” He joked “Come on, I’m kidding!” He held you again, this time not as awkwardly. Probably he was just making that up “You’ll be fine; you always are”
“Thanks Deadsy” You smiled at him “No wonder why you’re my best friend”
“Yeah, keep thanking me because if not you’ll be weeping and sobbing for that douche bag with a metal arm is not cool. I’d rather seeing you with Colossus, he’s a full metal man, although sex is forbidden, ok?”
“Shut the hell up”
 
You kissed his cheek and went to your bed, because you needed some rest. Being the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes was exhausting, not because you trained your ass off to be in the best shape for missions, but because they didn’t get to see you that often as Wade did; basically they didn’t like him very much for his unorthodox method of taking care of bad guys… Or people in general. They were always worrying about your health. More than once they suggested to prepare a room for you.
 
“Sweetie” Natasha said while you dried your hair with your towel after training, earlier that same day “Why don’t you consider coming to live here? I’m worried about you… We all are”
“Why? Because I live with Wade? Ok he’s not a drug addict or something. He’s just… slightly violent sometimes and when he gets angry. Not often though”
“I’m sure you trust him and everything… But we don’t”
“And by ‘we’ you mean…?”
“Everyone” She said in a serious voice “The team is worried”
“Tasha, I’m a grown and trained woman” You pointed out “Don’t you think I can take him down…? Besides Wade and I have known the other for a long time; for over 6 years and he’s the sweetest guy I’ve ever met under that shitty ass attitude of being a dickhead always” You laughed “Also, he’s under the watch of Colossus and he won’t leave him alone”
“And why you’re not with him, then? I mean, Wade, of course”
“Because he’s disgusting!!” You frowned in repulsion “I have heard things you don’t want to hear from your boyfriend”

 
You had the nicest nap in a long time and there was Wade when you woke up. Lying next to you with his head resting on his arm. He actually looked at you with such a tender face that was only interrupted by his sense of humor mixed with a sweet voice you didn’t know he had.
 
“You look so awful when you sleep…” He smiled “Really, saliva comes from your mouth and you snore a lot… I was trying to masturbate and you interrupted me, sweetheart… Did you have a nice sleep?”
“Wade you’re such a dickhead” You grunted rolling to the other side “but yeah, thanks for asking; did you get to finally masturbate?”
“Of course not, your snores are the least turning on thing in the universe, that and thinking about how that frosted head Bucky wanks himself”
“I’m sure he has his girlfriend to do it” You sighed.
“And he won’t get your soft tiny hands on his dick… Talking about it” He said adjusting closer to you and making you turn around “How do you even get to… do it yourself? Those tiny ass hands won’t get much deeper, right?”
“You really shouldn’t be called Deadpool… More like Dickpool” You laughed “my tiny hands are perfect because I can get them into spaces you wouldn’t imagine”
“How about you and I have sex so you can get your mind off of that stupid asshole?” He asked excitedly “I mean, there won’t be feelings involved and you can call me daddy… You kinda owe me this one because I couldn’t get it down”
“How about no?” You asked back with a smile “And god, daddy? Are you serious? Daddy kink? That’s disgusting”
“Sorry, I never had a father” He sighed “But we can still have sex, you can call me whatever you want”
“Again, how about no?” You laughed loudly.
“Can’t say I didn’t try” He shrugged “But hey, on a way more serious note, you’re so much better than him, he really doesn’t deserve a girl like you… Not like I do either, but you’re just great (Y/N)” He smiled at you and caressed your cheek “And really, if you want him to get his ass kicked, just tell me”

anonymous asked:

Hey can you do a Dating Joker includes?

Originally posted by totalxretard

• Being as insane as him

• Gotham fearing you two more than anything else

• Getting your own super villain name

• Absolutely loving his scars

• “ They make you even scarier and I love that. ”

• Him always touching you

• Lot of make out session

• Big fights 

• Like screaming until your lungs hurt and throwing things

• But it’s only making your relationship stronger 

• Him breaking you out of Arkham 

• “ Hello, pumpkin, missed me?

• Having nothing against torture and murder

• Sitting on his lap when he’s in a reunion

• His men knowing not to make a move on you

• One of them trying anyway and you end up killing him yourself 

• J always giving you a new knife for your birthday

• You two being commit to each other for good or worst

• Mostly for worst

snicker-snaps  asked:

Ok but like... how the fuck do you actually sit down to write something? I only get as far as the outline and as soon as I try and write the first chapter it just... doesn't happen.

spite, mostly! 

consider the worst piece of content you’ve ever read. i don’t mean bad, technically – that’s subjective. i mean something that actively disgusted you, or just perturbs you by existing. then consider that its creator sat down and shat it out, whether in one sitting or several, and published it, and there are people who not only read it but liked it. if they can get their stuff out there, there’s no reason that i can’t. 

the trick with outlines, i think, is not to get too detailed. it may be different for you, but i sometimes struggle with outlines that break down every part of every chapter; i feel it robs the story of an organic flow. leaving yourself some wiggle room in the writing process can make the actual pen-to-paper part of drafting less like a chore and more like an adventure. the outline is really only helpful insofar as it keeps your ideas organized, and gives you a framework from which to build. as soon as the framework starts restraining your creativity, it’s time for a change. you should rule the outline, not the other way around!

linear progression is also overrated. as long as you have a firm outline of where you want to go and where your character progression is going to be at each point in the story, you can start writing wherever the plot interest you the most and then jump around, filling the gaps between interesting scenes. i have a “scrap file” on my hard drive that’s just for scenes in the story that i haven’t got to yet. i still move linearly for the most part, in order to keep track of the characters’ development, but when i’m getting tired of working at a scene, or one chapter just refuses to take shape, i’ll jump around to a part i’m more excited to write and take a break. ironically, taking your focus off one part of the story can help you with writing that selfsame part; it gives your mind a chance to breathe, so to speak, and keeps you from growing bored.

Sewing Needles & Paw Prints

Prompt:  Soulmate AU, on your 16th birthday you get a symbol on your body that represents your soulmate.  The symbols are in the same place as your soulmate.
Basically I wrote a 9.2k one shot for this prompt and here it is.
If you want to read it on AO3 then click here.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

How would the boys act if their s/o came home bruised and bloody from a particularly violent fight they had? ((All boys plus vitri and mizuki? o3o))

Aoba: Whatever he was holding clattered across the floor as he rushed to his partners side, Immediately making them sit down.  He would sit next to them, seemingly calm - worried to death however.

His hand would hold onto his partners while he assessed the damage of the situation.  Coming to the conclusion that his lover was going to be alright he would sigh in relief, hugging them tightly before grabbing the first aid to start to patch them up.  

Noiz: His shock from seeing his partner in such a state would take ahold of him completely.  It wouldn’t be until his partners voice floated into his mindframe that he snapped out of it.

“Noiz?”

He wouldn’t be able to explain his emotions in that moment.  He was bombarded with a majority of them, mostly anger and worry - the worst part was that he didn’t know what to do.  

In the end his partner would have to reasure him that they were going to be alright.  Feeling usless however, he would ask if there was anything that he could do, allowing his partner to give him some guidence and take his mind off the worry.  

Koujaku: He would take his partners face into his hands, looking deeply into there eyes.  Anger would take ahold of him and he would try to supress it, but he would want to know who did this so that he could take care of them.

He wouldn’t leave his partners side until he was certain that they were alright.  He would get or do anything for them, wanting to make sure that they were extremely conforatable.  

Clear: He would honestly become pretty usless.  He would be crippled by the fear that he was going to lose his partner and go into a state of panic.  

He would try extremely helpful, but would just end up in the way for the most part.  His partner would have to calm him down before anything else.  

They wouldn’t even mind that much because they knew that his state was simply because he loved them so much and was terrified that they were really hurt.  

If and when he calmed down, he would be the complete opposite and extremely helpful.  He would be there at his lovers every beck and call, doing anything for them. 

Mink: He would be extremely calm about the whole thing.  He was just happy that his partner came back alive, he was used to the bruised and blooded part from his past - that was something he could work with. 

He would pick them up, placing them gently on the table before begining to fix them up.  He would actually be fairly talkitive during this interaction - asking them questions about their injuries and the fight in general. 

Virus: He may seem a little unsympathetic towards the situation that his lover was in - which in turn, would annoy his partner.  

“What’s wrong with you! Don’t you care about me?!” 

There would be a long pause, Virus being completely caught off guard, unable to look his partner in the eye. His partner would huff, turning on their heel close to tears - from both the physical and emotional pain that they were in. 

Suddenly they would feel Virus’s arms wrap around them, his face burying into their neck.  His partner tried to struggle away but he poke before they could do so. 

“Please don’t be mad ______… I promise I do care about you.  That’s exactly why it’s hard for me to show my emotions in this situation.  I’m not good with people and I’m scared i’m going to lose you”

Trip: Seeing his partner in the door frame, cut and bruised - he would walk towards them.  He would kiss them lightly on the forhead before assessing the damnage.  

He might not be super helpful with bandaging his partner up, but he surely wouldn’t leave their side.  

He would most definately ask who did this to them and once he got the name, you could bet that hell was coming for them. 

Mizuki: He would be fairly used to seeing people coming out of fights looking worse for wear.  However, when it was his partner, he would nearly lose it.

He would be seemingly calm about the situation as he patched them up.  He would be extremely quiet the whole time, lost in thought, terrified of the possibility of loosing them.  

It wouldn’t be until after his partner had cleaned up and gotten some rest that he would sit down beside them on their bed and explain his feelings and concerns.  

i kinda….wanna play Until Dawn. it doesnt seem like the kind of horror game i’d be completely unable to play because its mostly linear and like the worst you really have to deal with are like QTEs and running