anonymous asked:

Draco likes to brag* about his kids when he's drunk. Usually to Harry. Mostly to Harry. Harry just sighs and reminds Draco they've been married for eight years, and that they're Harry's kids too. (*brag = cry sloppily)

Harry can’t match drunk Draco’s enthusiasm, neither sober nor drunk. Draco’s not impressed. 

Draco, waving around a picture of his kid: Our baby was sent from heavens, he’s a precious gift.
Harry, barely holding back a snort: We picked him up from a foster home actually.
Draco, shaking Harry by his collar: DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW LUCKY WE ARE


Draco, sniffling on Harry’s shoulder: Harry, Harry, did i tell her i loved her before we left
Harry: Yes, three times.
Draco: I just.. i love her so much. How can i love her this much? How did this happen?
Harry: She loves you too, lets have some water, alright?
Draco: *abruptly sits up* We should send a gift to our caseworker.
Harry: Again?!
Harry: …

anonymous asked:

Prompt: Bellas play spin the bottle, and someone is forced to kiss Beca (who's speechless after the kiss, out of shock, but chloe misinterprets it as awe). Cue jealous Chloe; how she gets her way is up to you ;)

To be fair, it was Chloe’s idea in the first place.

All of it. The secret relationship they started nine months ago, the weekly Bellas bonding night, and now to play spin the bottle.

She was really drunk and really giddy, but mostly she just loved when she and Beca got to show public displays of affection without anyone knowing about their private displays of affection.

(In hindsight, this was not fair at all.)

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anonymous asked:

Drunk creepypasta headcannons?

Ben is blushy and probably a lil slutty but mostly just here to party and flirt

Toby’s hard to get drunk but when he is hes a giggling mess with no boundaries

Jeff is an emotional drunkkkk he just like cries at the bar counter probably

Liu is a social drinker and is really frienly but with a little more confidence

Eyeless Jack doesnt prefer to drink

Laughing Jack is either killing everyone or laughing his ass off

Jane gets fucked and drunked and passes out

Otis drinks very little wine and never enough to get drunk

Dina is loud and will fight anyone well shes drunk

sally does not

Tim is ready to fucking party

Brian is also an emotional mess well drinking

Mitsuko drank once out of pure pressure and now shes a monster so she doesn’t drink 

What do you do when your life suddenly gets flipped upside down and all the plans you made are ruined because the person you made them with is gone? My main urges are to cry or to get really, really drunk. Maybe both. Definitely both. Mostly I just want to crawl into a hole and stay there. Who wants to join me?

The Night Shift

Title: The Night Shift

Pairing: Castiel x Reader

Warnings: A douchey guy being pushy and aggressive, slight assault (but it’s cleared up pretty quickly).

A/N: Based on this request for Anon

Oh! I got one. Supernatural please with Cas or Crowley cause I can’t choose. But um, reader reader works the overnight shift at a convenience store and suddenly a guy starts trying to push himself on them but one of the two comes to the rescue!💖ily

So I feel like this is short, but I hope you like it! My little Cas to the rescue!

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I woke up this morning with a cart full of things on Amazon (mostly food)

I’m just assuming the drunk me went shopping and apparently was hungry.

anonymous asked:

Illyrio loves Sith Opera, and is a damn good singer. Of course, being afraid to ruin his reputation, he mostly just sings when drunk enough.

(Omg please come off of anon so I can love you and your OCs properly❤💫 ps drunk singing is the best singing imo)

This one took me a while and I finally came to the amusing conclusion that /none/ of my characters can sing to save their life hahaha

perpetuallyfive  asked:

"Hey, you okay there?" Chloe asks, looking slightly concerned, as if Beca can't hold her alcohol or something -- which she obviously can, one in each hand -- and the only possible response is to laugh (really loudly) and then possibly hiccup. Once.

“Apparently not,” Chloe says before Beca even has a chance to respond in a manner that would have definitely been both dignified and eloquent. 

“Am too!”

(Or not.)

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Okay but how about tattoo artist Grantaire. How about Enjolras, completely intoxicated after a night he would definitely regret spending with Bahorel, comes into his parlor and wants a giant French flag or something tattooed across his back. Grantaire who won’t give it to him because it’s obvious how out of his mind he is and how much he’d regret it in the morning but Enjolras argues and argues that it’s his right to do what he wants with his body. Grantaire refuses again and it turns into this really passionate debate (or so Enjolras thinks, it’s mostly Grantaire just telling him no he’s too drunk and Enjolras yelling and crying a lot) but Enjolras won’t leave until he gets a tattoo because he wants to prove to everyone that he is a Rebel™ so Grantaire agrees and takes out a sharpie and writes his number on Enjolras’s hand and a note to call him if he needs help getting home safely. Enjolras leaves, triumphantly, because he finally got his way and now everyone would think he was Edgy™ because of his cool new hand tattoo. Grantaire gets a call the next morning from a very apologetic sounding person who thanks him for the night before and asks him if they could maybe meet up again sometime.


What I have learned from Brendon’s periscope tonight:

  • It’s almost 3 am.
  • They have flavored whiskey??
  • They’re nighttime fishing???????
  • Fireballs are present.
  • Brendon’s hair is messy.
  • Brendon thought he saw a bat.
  • They didn’t like the tech crew at the show today.
  • They caught some fish but they wont eat them because in Brendon’s words, “Hell nah, those fish have bacteria.”
  • Brendon looks really really happy.
  • (And kind of drunk.)
  • (But mostly just really happy.)

Ok so I was marathoning Firefly the other night and that produced… Space Cowboy AU? Like it’s based in that universe and Les Amis own a cargo ship and do some good ol’ fashion pirating and general rebelling against the Government while shooting around space. 

I have a lot more art for this but they need more tweaking and idk I’m tired so have this first batch of doodles

Matteo very very explicitly liked drunk people. They were mostly stupid, funny, and loose. And, frankly, the dial of his moral compass didn’t usually extend all the way to sobriety being necessary for a little fun. Which was why he was currently getting one hell of a lap dance from a mostly drunk guy.

Hey. Just because he was drunk doesn’t mean he was horrible.

Matteo saw someone approach and looked over, beyond the person currently living it up on his lap, and grinned. “Hi. I swear to god if you’re here to ruin the first good time I’ve had since I’ve got here, I’m not going to be happy.”

It was the college ball tonight. An old traditional that happened a lot of the time. Keegan had attended one of these things before. He mostly just drunk the night away and danced on the dance floor with some of the younger teachers. It was not a bad night to have out.

He walked down the steps and entered the hall with the girl hanging on his arms. However, it wasn’t the girl of his dreams. It was one of friends, and she was his partner tonight as more of a replacement kind of thing. She was just a friend, but they were going to have as much fun as they could together tonight here. Friends were good sometimes. Keegan just wished it was India as his date here tonight.