Before y’all start… Yes, it is late but exams had me studying for hours. I just couldn’t end my day without this though because Jun. Deserves. The. World. So here’s to an end of #Happy_Jun_Day.He looked so happy and wholesome and lovely. Prince of China has risen once again! Happy (ever so slightly belated) birthday love!
I used to draw exclusively in SAI, but now I’m experimenting with photoshop. I was trying out a newer, softer style but it didn’t really turn out the way I had hoped. Still posting anyway, because this ship needs more love and more fan art!
Y/N is an up and coming YouTuber. Grayson falls in love with her, and wants her to be his. Little did he know that his twin brother Ethan had the same idea. Who will win her heart? Who’s heart will get broken?
Word Count: 3,691
A/N: Team Ethan or Team Grayson?
* * Times Skip - 3 Months * *
It’s been three months since Ethan asked me to be his girlfriend at the pizza place. Things between us were going pretty well. The fans were starting to accept our relationship, so the hate started to die down a little. Ethan and Grayson were back to normal. There was no more tension between them, which was a relief. Grayson and I on the other hand, we weren’t really on speaking terms. He still hasn’t spoken to me since what happened.
He still hasn’t forgiven me. I mean I guess I can’t really blame him. He was dating Tana Mongeau now. That trashy YouTuber. Yeah I said it! I honestly don’t know what he sees in her. I didn’t even know he was into those kind of girls. I mean he seems happy, so I’m happy for him I guess.
I was in my room writing down some ideas for next weeks video. My YouTube channel literally blew up over night. Three months ago, I had about 197,000 subscribers, now I’m a couple hundred subscribers away from 1 million! It obviously had a lot to do with the boys shouting me out on Twitter, when they first saw my channel. I was now verified on Twitter, which is fucking crazy! I got invited to Playlist Live in Orlando next weekend! How did so much happen in 3 months? I’m more than grateful for all of this. There was so much love and support from the fans, but with all that love and support, comes a lot of hate. Some fans would say how I used the boys to help boost my YouTube career. I knew that wasn’t true, the guys knew it wasn’t true, but it was still hard to hear. The guys found my channel. They decided to shout me out, they wanted to film a collab, I didn’t make them do any of that. I mean yes of course them doing all that had a big play in where I am with my career now, but I didn’t use them.
I was laying in my bed scrolling through Twitter, when Ethan called me. A smile crept upon my face before I answered.
“Hey!” I said!
“What are you up too?” Ethan asked, before I heard a car door closing.
“Nothing much, trying to come up with some ideas for the new video.” I said, scribbling random shapes onto my notebook.
“How’s that coming along?” he asked.
“It’s not. I’m one of those creators block, or whatever you call it. What are you doing?” I asked changing the subject.
He laughed slightly before speaking again. “ Well I’m on my way home right now, but how about we go get some ice cream, and I can help you come up with an idea for the video?”
“That sounds like a great idea! I’ll get ready and meet you at your place.” I said, closing up my notebook.
“Sounds good. I’ll see you soon babe.” Ethan said before hanging up.
I stayed in a bed for a few more minutes looking through some tweets, when I noticed the trends. #GrayanaIsOverParty was trending number 1 (Grayana is Tana & Grayson ship name, gross!) Why is this trending? I thought to myself. I clicked on the hashtag, and all I saw were fans calling Tana a hoe, and a slut. I mean that’s nothing new, but I was confused as to way they were saying this. I scrolled a little more, and there was a link to a video. I clicked the link and it took me to Kian’s and JC’s channel. It was a video called “Sexual Spin The Bottle” and Tana was in the thumbnail. It was almost impossible not to cringe watching this video. After watching the video, I decided to go look at her Twitter. Why not? Her last tweet was an hour ago.
@tanamongeau: When your bf doesn’t like the new YouTube video so he breaks up with you. Oops
What a bitch.
* * * *
I was in the bathroom finishing up getting ready, so I could go meet Ethan at his apartment. I was brushing my hair, when my Twitter notification had gone off. I walked over to the night stand to check. Looks like Grayson had just posted a new tweet. I’ve always had his, and Ethan’s notifications on. I guess I just never remembered to cut it off.
@GraysonDolan: Positive Vibes.
I stomach dropped a little thinking about how Grayson must’ve been feeling about the video, and the whole situation. I wanted to reach out and see if he was ok, but I knew I shouldn’t. He wasn’t going to respond to me anyway. I liked and retweeted the tweet, before closing out of the app locking my phone.
I finished brushing my hair, and grabbed my wallet, and my keys of the bed before heading out.
* * * *
I was outside Ethan’s apartment. I texted him letting him know I was here, but I don’t know what’s taking him so long to open the door. I held up my fist to knock again but the door opened, revealing Grayson.
“Ethan’s in the shower.” Grayson said coldly, moving out the door way and into the kitchen.
It was like he could careless if I was there. I hate this. I miss him. Before all of this, he was my friend. Can I at least have my friend back? I walked over to the kitchen, and stood by the counter. Grayson was sitting at the dining table, eating some In n Out. I’m pretty sure he knew I was standing there, but he just wanted to be an ass and ignore me. I wanted to ask him if he was okay. I wanted to just talk to him. So I did.
“I heard about what happened with Tana…” I said. He took a sip from his drink, and looked at me with side eyes.
“You didn’t deserve that. You don’t deserve to be made a fool of li-”
“You would know about making someone look like a fool. Don’t you Y/N?” he interrupted me.
Okay, seriously? Why is he being such a jerk? I get that I made him look stupid, but I apologized so many times. He knows how bad I feel about it, so can’t he just let it go? Its been 3 months already!
“Okay, I get you’re still mad but that doesn’t mean you can keep being a dick to me! If you can drop what happened with Ethan, why can’t you drop it with me? We both started dating other people. I’m sorry your relationship with Tana Mongoose didn’t work out. But I had feelings for you Grayson, I did! I tried to reach out. Hell I even went over to see you. I wanted to try and talk to you. But I show up, and you got Tana’s legs spread out in the fucking air, screaming your fucking name! …” I paused. The memory of that moment came flooding back in my brain. I honestly wanted to throw up.
“Look Grayson, I get it okay?” my voice a little calmer.
“It was just so overwhelming to see you guys fight like that. I felt awful knowing that I was the reason. But
you need to understand where I was coming from when I didn’t want to make a choice. I thought what I did was the right thing to do. I didn’t want to have to choose between you guys… I couldn’t!”
“But you did choose!” he said, his voice a little louder than before.
I wanted to say something, but before I could Ethan entered the room.
“You ready babe?” Ethan asked, wrapping his hands around my waist. I saw Grayson get up from the dining table, and walked towards his room.
“Yeah, lets go.” I said, with a half smile.
* * * *
We were sitting outside the fro-yo place eating frozen yogurt, and talking about some ideas for my videos. Ethan was talking about doing a couple’s tag, but to be completely honest, I wasn’t really paying attention. My mind was still stuck on that awkward moment between Grayson and I. “But you did choose.” what he said kept replaying itself in my head. Grayson was right, I did choose. I chose Ethan. I was happy with the choice I made. I was happy with him. So why do I am I starting to feel like I made the wrong choice.
“Y/N!” Ethan said loudly, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“Are you okay?” He asked.
“You haven’t said much since we sat down.”
“Yeah, sorry. I’m not really feeling good.” I lied. There was nothing wrong with me. But I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell Ethan I was thinking about his twin brother.
“Want me to take you home?” he said, giving me a worried look and I nodded.
Ethan and I arrived at my apartment. He walked me upstairs, wanting to make sure I was okay before leaving. I wasn’t even sick, so I felt bad that he was worrying so much. He offered to stay for a while, but I wanted to soak in the bath, and be alone.
“Ethan, I’m fine! I’m just grabbing some water, and I’m going to go take a bath. We can FaceTime whenever you get home.” I said, giving him a kiss on the lips. He pulled away, and said the three words I was not expecting him to say.
“I love you.” he said, as he moved a strain of hair behind my ear.
Ethan Dolan just told me he loves me. Why am I standing here like an idiot? Say it back you idiot!
“Ethan. I-I l-”
I wanted to say it back, I tried to say it back. But nothing came out. I just stood there like a deer in headlights.
“Y/N it’s okay. I’m not expecting you to say it back. I just wanted you to know how I felt. Whenever you’re ready babe!” he said, kissing me on the forehead.
“I’ll call you later.” he said, walking out the door of my apartment.
* * * *
I was laying on the couch, scrolling through Twitter on my phone. Thought I’d follow, and DM some fans back. I was scrolling through my notifications, I saw that Y/N liked and retweeted one of my tweets from earlier. I wonder if she still had my post notifications on. I couldn’t help but smile a little at the thought. Remembering when she first told me that. She was so embarrassed, she turned as red as a tomato. My thoughts went back to the somewhat of a conversation we had earlier. That was the most we’ve spoken in months. I just don’t know why she chose Ethan over me. It was me she had the “celebrity crush” on. She liked me. I liked her. We would’ve been perfect together.
I heard the front door open. It was probably Ethan and Y/N coming back from their date. The door opened revealing just Ethan. Y/N wasn’t with him.
“Yo.” I said, as he entered the living room.
“Yo!” he responded back, giving me a head nod.
“Where’s Y/N?” I asked, curious.
“She wasn’t feeling good, so I took her home.” he said before walking into his bedroom.
We were currently in his room, working on editing the video for next week. It didn’t take us long, because I had already did half of it while Ethan was out. Ethan told me he was gonna FaceTime Y/N, so I went back to my room.
It was 11:45 pm. I was laying in bed, and I could hear Ethan talking to Y/N in the living room. He seriously couldn’t sit in his room, close the door and talk to her? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t bitter about the whole thing. She was suppose to be my girl. Not his. If it wasn’t for Ethan, coming into the situation, she would’ve been mine. We would be the ones on face-timing right now. Not them. He just had to slide into her DMs even after knowing that I wanted to talk to her! Than on top of that he tried to lie, and hide it! I threw my phone across the room, feeling pissed off at Ethan all over again.
I threw on a white t-shirt, and some black Adidas sweats. I ran my fingers through my hair, before putting on my snapback. I picked up my phone from the floor, and grabbed my keys. I told Ethan I was heading out, before slamming the apartment door shut.
* * * *
I stood in front of her apartment door for what felt like hours, but its only been a few minutes. What am I doing here? Why am I even here? I don’t know, but I just needed to see her.
My hands formed a fist, as I knocked against the hard wood of the door. I knocked a few more times, and I could faintly hear someone talking from the other side.
“E, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Y/N said. I’m guessing she hung up because not long after that, the door opened.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, slightly confused. She stepped to the side, letting me in and closing the door behind us.
“I heard Ethan say you weren’t feeling good, so I just wanted to see if you were okay.” I said, standing in the middle of the living room.
“You can sit down you know?” she said sitting down on her couch.
“And I’m not sick. I just told E that, so he would take me home.” she said, nibbling her bottom lip. A habit of hers I’ve picked up on pretty quickly. She usually does it when she’s feeling bad or guilty about something.
“Why’d you do that?” I asked, sitting on the couch next to her.
“I don’t know.” her voice was at a whisper. She was fiddling with the ends of her sleeves. I can tell she was lying. She did know why, she just didn’t want to tell me.
We talked for a bit, catching up with what’s been happening with our lives. I congratulated her on hitting 1 Million subscribers on YouTube. I was honestly so proud of her. I just wish I could’ve been a part of all her great achievements. I was too busy being mad at Y/N for what she did, and in spite I started dating some blonde bimbo, trying to get over her. But I never did. My feelings for her never went away. No matter how much I tried to act like I didn’t care, I always have. I was such prideful person, that I didn’t want to admit it. When Ethan started dating her, words couldn’t even explain how much that hurt me. But I still kept that “I don’t care” attitude going. Even though deep down I knew we belonged together. I don’t want to be that prideful person anymore. I don’t want to lie about my feelings anymore. I need to tell her
“I love you Y/N!” I said, cutting her off.
“Wh-What did you just say? she asked, standing up from the couch looking at me.
“I said I lo-” I tried to speak but she cut me off.
“No! Shut up!” she yelled at me.
“Why would you do that? You can’t… You can’t just randomly come here, and tell me you love me Grayson! You can’t do that! Especially when I’m dating your brother! For fuck sake, I love you too, but I’m with your bro-” I didn’t let her finish.
I grabbed the sides of her cheeks and crashed my lips onto hers. She kissed me back, but trying her hardest to keep her arms at her side. Her arms found their way around my neck. I smile into the kiss as I felt her wrapping her arms tighter. Our lips were moving in sync, my hands trailed down her waist. I rested them on the small of her back, pulling her body closer against mine. Her chest against mine, as I could feel my heart beat out of my chest.
I pulled away from our kiss, and rest my forehead on top of hers. My eyes meeting her beautiful brown ones. My hands found her butt giving it a playful squeeze.
“Jump.” I whispered, before connecting my lips on her soft plump ones.
She jumps wrapping her legs around my waist, as I continue to kiss her intensely. Without breaking the kiss I carry her into her bedroom, and set her down on the set. She takes the collar of my shirt, and pulls me down on top on her. I moved my hands along her sides, stopping at the bottom of her shirt. I pulled her shirt up slowing revealing her stomach. She arched her back, so I could continue removing her shirt. I stopped kissing her for a quick second to pull the shirt over her head, and tossing it on the floor. Her hands made way under my shirt, running her hands up and down my back. She grabbed the trim of my shirt, I pulled my body away from her letting drag off my shirt one arm at a time, than tugging it off my head. I reconnected my lips onto hers, licking her bottom lip for entrance. She parted her lips letting me in, and our kiss deepened.
I moved my hands down slowly, my fingers meeting the waist of her shorts, and slowly pulled them down her legs. I bent down kissing her most private part through her red lace panties, as I run my hands down the back of her legs. She shivered slightly, and I glance up seeing her smiling down at me. I gave her a smirk, as I slid her panties down, tossing them on the floor with her shorts.
I stood at the end of the bed, pulling down my sweats, and boxers, kicking them off to the side. Not once did my eyes leave her. She looked so beautiful laying there waiting for me. A part of me was feeling really bad for doing this to Ethan, but a part of me didn’t really care. As harsh as that sounds, I didn’t. He knew how I felt about Y/N. But he still decided to go after her. I know I say it a lot, but she belongs with me. And tonight I’m going to show her just how much I want her.
I grabbed her ankles, and pulled her towards the end of the bed. I climbed on top of her, grabbing her hands, raising them over her head, and locking her fingers with mine.
“Want me to show you who the better twin is? I asked, planting wet kisses up and down her neck.
“I’m gonna make you feel better than Ethan ever could.” I whispered against her lips.
“Ethan and I… We never… We never had sex…” she said. Her eyes locking on mine.
What? Her and Ethan never had sex? Why? I mean obviously that’s a good thing, but why the hell didn’t he want to tap that ass? Maybe he did? Maybe she didn’t want to have sex with him? I don’t know, but the thought of Y/N never even being touched by my brother turned me on 10 times more. She’s mine. All mine.
“Mmm.” she hummed, as I pushed my dick into her slowly, not wanting to hurt her.
Her eyes locked on mine, as she wrapped her legs around my waist. I had her hands in mine, still resting over her head. I was dominantly her physically, but emotionally, she had me at her mercy. I started picking up my pace moving in and out of her body. My eyes never leaving hers. I could feel Y/N digging her nails into my back. But I didn’t mind. That just means I was doing my job.
“Fuck! Grayson!” she screamed out, as I began to thrust deeper into her.
I could see her face start to flush, and I felt her body tighten around me. She was close, and I was too.
I can feel myself creeping closer and closer into the edge of an orgasm. I started to move faster, and harder.
“G-Grayson, I’m about to cum!” she moaned.
“Cum for me Y/N!” I groaned, pumping my entire length inside her.
“F-fuck!” she half moaned, and half screamed. I continued stroking deeper and faster strokes, until I felt our bodies trembling against each other, and we both came together.
I rolled over on my side, pulling her naked body close to mind.
“What did we just do?” she asked. Tracing circles into my bare chest.
I didn’t say anything. We both knew exactly what we did. Y/N just cheated on Ethan, and I just had sex with his girlfriend. Probably by far the most shittiest thing I’ve done.
“I love you Gray.” Y/N said.
A little taken back at the fact that she just told me she loves me. But I didn’t question her about it. I knew she meant it. I just knew.
“I love you too babygirl.” I said as I placed a kiss on her forehead. I pulled her closer, and held her tighter against me.
Yep, it’s me, K. I know, I know…it’s been a long time and it takes a lot for me to actually come here and say something. Still, I feel the mini-drama from last weekend needed a bit of clarification.
First of all I’d like to thank my friends, followers and well-wishing anons for alerting me about this whole thing with Jess, and of course CO who jumped to my defence like a mama bear she is. I’m always so surprised by all this kindness in this fandom. Yes, I actually mean it - Outlander fandom is full of amazing women, even when sometimes it looks like they are behaving like schoolgirls. That’s why I feel I should say something about this whole thing, to put an end to this story once and for all.
would u mind talking a little about the timeline for ur top surgery recovery? I might have mine soon and am nervous
so i went home after i woke up from surgery and had drains and bandages and binder on for the whole week. had to empty the drains every night (so gross) and I also was given like opiods for painkillers enough for the week but i switched to extra strength tylenol after a few days (bc being on the opiods too long will give u like consitpation and stuff). The first week i was pretty immobile and stayed in bed like most of the time, the painkillers help a lot but still had some pain and just generally uncomfy. but i felt better each day and the first week is the worst so here are my tips for the first week:
for the first few days you should be taking the prescribed painkillers whenever you can and dont forget (mine were every 6 hrs so i set timers) bc even if u are feeling ok and think u dont need it, you will regret it later when you start to be in pain again
dont try to move too much (you probably will not feel like moving anyways)
make sure you have someone at least nearby that can help you with stuff for the first week bc u probably wont be able to cook your own food, or really do much at all for the first week
i had really bad chaffing for the first 2 weeks bc of the post op binder, especially like the armpit area, and you can kind of ease that a little by putting like a barrier there like a piece of fabric tucked into the binder under the armpit
wet wipes and dry shampoo bc u cant shower for 2 weeks after usually
make sure you are eating and drinking lots of water/getting lots of sleep
after a week i went and had my drains removed but i still had to wear the post op binder for another week but i could adjust it and i had to take it off each night and put it back on again so that i could change the padding on my nipples. i felt so much more comfy after the drains were out, like i still took some tylenol for a little bit as i needed it but like by the second week i was off painkillers and like right after they took the drains out i like was going out, walking around, so like really you feel so much better after week one and then gradually even better. after week 2 i didnt have to wear binder or bandages and i could shower, i still had tape on the incisions and i was supposed to wait until it came off on its own (usually like week 3 or 4) after week 2 i still had like some soreness in incision and nipple area and i couldnt sleep on my side til like week 3 but it has been going away, and nothing too serious that i needed painkillers for. good luck with your surgery!! recovery is tough but honestly you start to feel noticeably better each day and it goes by fast
Art by: Biel, dev of Moacir - please take the time to check out their work!! Art blog: [x] Dev blog: [x]
A piece drawn a while back, but still adore. I had intended to post this sooner with permission but I kept forgetting to ask. I love their style and the detailing in the dress. I was overjoyed to receive this and still absolutely love it.
Today, December 5, 2017, marks the sixth anniversary of this blog. Thank you everyone who follows it and enjoys behind the scenes Smallville as much as I do.
I have decided to let the blog wind down. There isn’t as much interest in Smallville as there used to be and I don’t have the same kind of passion for it that I once had. I still have several posts in drafts so the blog will continue into 2018, but posts will get more sporadic until it just finally peters out.
Thank you again for all the follows and the love you’ve given this blog over the years. It was a pleasure sharing my behind the scenes obsession with you.
If anyone is interested in taking over the blog please message me.
holy shit yall. this is the homestuck fandom and ive seen some shitty stuff but i still have no idea why this has to be said and i havent seen anyone say this yet but.
if you draw porn of the condesce with karkat (especially him), jade, jane, dirk (hes gay but i still have to add him), or roxy, you are drawing an abusive ship. that’s it. there’s no “but”s about it.
why? here’s some reasons. karkat was systematically oppressed by the condesce. he was threatened with death on a daily basis on alternia because of her. if you want a real world comparison for this, you are drawing porn/shipping trump/pence with any of the lgbt young adults they systematically oppress every fucking day. this is the equivalent of what you’re drawing/shipping.
jade/jane were both mind controlled by the condesce, i shouldnt have to say anything about this since we all know this but i still had to make this damn post so.
dirk/roxy lived on an apocalyptic earth destroyed by the condesce. again, i dont know why i have to say this but again, i still had to make this post.
the surprising fact is, ive seen popular artists in the fandom shipping and drawing these ships like its all normalized. drawing to cope is one thing but they are normalizing these types of ships, they are trying to tell people its not abuse. it is, plain and simple. if you are telling people to not ship dirk with girls because hes gay or rose with boys because hes a lesbian, but you draw condykat, condyjade or anything like this, you are still part of the problem. you are shipping and drawing an abusive ship and you need to ask yourself why.
oh thanks for more info but i still can’t find anything ;; this is getting annoying haha i remember seeing it but i just can’t find it. if only i still had the posts from my old blog aaaaahhhh - i think it's in this video youtu(.)be/csYCSbFHnpg ?