but-i-had-to-change

The reason I changed was not because of you but because of me. 


You inspired me to change not because I had you in my life but because you had me in your life.


I don’t want to be the man who burdens you physically, emotionally, and financially.


I want to be the man who uplifts you physically, emotionally, and financially.


And so far, I’m still in the process of being the man that I want me to be for me to deserve you.


So thank you, baby. For inspiring me to be the man I thought I’d never be.

—  Inspiration to Change by Juansen Dizon
The Closet

I wrote this poem about being in the closet because today I am feeling real shitty and I want to yell to everyone that I am gay but I cant, not until I graduate at least lol. I am sorry to everyone if you are in the closet for some reason and you can always talk to me.

I am not who I want to be,
I had to change for you,
for everyone.
My face is plastered with paint,
My cloths changed,
My hair changed,
My sexuality
Changed.

There is nothing I can do about it,
Except keep up the facade,
For 4
More
Years.
Because some people wont love me
If I don’t.

I am not who I want to be,
I can’t be.
But I hate this paint plastered on my face.
I hate my new clothes.
I hate my new hair.
I hate my “new” sexuality.

I want to tell them,
I want to tell you,
I want to scream who I am
from the rooftops.
But I can’t,
Because I have to keep up this facade,
For 4
More
Years.
Because you won’t love me
if I don’t.

Another little update from my set visit.  So after I watched them filming the street scene in the morning Téa asked me if I had any plans for the rest of the day and if not did I want to come back and watch the ballroom scene after lunch.  I told her that I had a show booked for that night (She Loves Me) but I would love to hang out until then.  So the afternoon rolls on and when it gets to about 7pm Téa comes rushing over to me and says ‘Caroline, you’re going to miss your show’.  I told her it was fine, as I had called the theatre and they were changing my tickets to the Saturday.  She laughed and mentioned to Eric Stoltz (who was by her side most of the day) that I was a theatre buff, so he then started quizzing me as to what shows I was seeing during my trip.  Geoffrey overhead and starts to pipe in with suggestions of shows he has seen and enjoyed.  Then Geoffrey remembers that Bebe had been raving about a show so rushes over to ask her what it was called incase I wanted to see it.  I feel bad that Bebe recommended a show to me and I didn’t take her up on it, but I had all my shows/nights accounted for and couldn’t fit in any more.  

🔆Good Things🔆

I got to pet a bobcat kitten today at the hospital. A man comes in once in a while and brings animals with him for the patients to pet. Today, it was a baby bobcat. Oh my goodness, the sound that came out when it “meowed” was more like a croak. It was so darn cute!

I also got to see a game of ultimate frisbee. I think that would be so much fun to play!

But now, I’m exhausted. Like, *really* exhausted. Three hours of sleep today with dreams of a constantly oozing dressing change (which I had to contend with last night) is not good sleep at all. I’m thinking I’ll sleep with ease through the night!

I’m getting my California license tomorrow (had to change it from VA to get my title mailed here…sucks cause I’ll be getting my Colorado one soon after I move in a month!).

On the form I had to write my weight. We never had a scale, which is a good thing. But IDK how much I weigh. I weighed like 120 last time I remember weighing myself. For reference, my lowest weight was 105, then got to a healthier 112 for a while. Then on new birth control/dating Matt I got up to 118-120.

At the last time I weighed in I wanted to drop about 8-10 pounds. And I wasn’t running as much or working out.

I’m definitely running more now, but in general I think I’ve looked the same.

And I’ve been kinda comfortable with that. I do wish I was a little stronger, but sometimes I don’t care for the extra muscles. Sometimes k wish I was leaner, but actually most of the time I love my strong, powerful legs.

So I don’t know if around 118 is what I really weigh. But what does it really matter if I’m ok with it?

I know my diet could be cleaned up a TON (my glucose levels get low fast and I get shakey and then I think I compensate and eat a bit more). But I am good with portions, don’t eat past the full feeling, and drink water 90% of the time. Coffee makes up a lot and like once a month I’ll drink a Dr Pepper.

I do have access to a gym, but again don’t care too much about the weights. I absolutely should do more stuff I can do in my room like planks, yoga, crunches. I just mostly spend time there when I’m sleeping. The rest is out in common space.

Anyway, I haven’t talked about weight on here since it hasn’t been something that bothered me. We all have struggled with weight, but like shoe sizes and age, it’s just a number and what really matters is if YOU like the way you look and not to be controlled by the number.

So, I was on my way to school and went to get my usual coffee at the Lima Bean and this new girl was working, right? Well, this broad decides it’s a good idea to trip and spill the coffee all over me. It’s safe to say I was not happy, my skin was burning, and I had to go home and change. I was then irritated because I have never been late to school before until today and I never got my coffee. So far today has been a ball full of suck.

Truth.

Hi Tori,

Its about time someone did what we all couldn’t do. Myself & my sister Lily had dated Stephen many many years ago. Her in person, me online. 

I want to say yes Stephen is a nice guy BUT he never has been ready for commitment of any sort.

It saddens me to see that he hasn’t changed, which means his mentality probably hasn’t changed either.

I’m so sorry you had to go through a hard time with Stephen.

Xoxox

modelsocietymagazine.com
Modeling Empowerment
Rosa Brighid Bullied Nude Model Speaks Out – How Being a Model Changed Her Life I had a difficult childhood. Through school, I endured long years of relentless physical bullying and mental torment. I felt damaged and never

Rosa Brighid Bullied Nude Model Speaks Out – How Being a Model Changed Her Life I had a difficult childhood. Through school, I endured long years of relentless physical bullying and mental torment. I felt damaged and never

10

Then here’s bunch of different (followers)gifts and special sets :3

And then because I have no idea where else to throw this, there’s grass terrain default that looks like this (I extracted the texture from file since I couldn’t find image of it):

Download eir-default-grassterrain_mountain

Only slightly annoyed to go on Facebook today and see that everyone and their brother has already announced my baby there before I’ve even had the chance to change back into my own clothes.

Why do people think it’s cool to do that. If you’re not one of the parents, don’t even think about it. Don’t post about someone else’s pregnancy, engagement, cool new job, and especially not the birth of their first born without asking permission/waiting for the person to break the news on their own time. It makes me especially sad because I explicitly asked some of these people not to do that yet here we are. Just why would you even think that’s okay. 😕

in my black 2 pokemon game I caught a female azurill and I named her antoinette but when she evolved into an azumarill, he gender changed to male and I never noticed until I was at the league and I thought “did I name my male azurill antoinette on accident?”

no I had that 1 in 5 chance (or st like that) gender changing azumarill life is cool

My updated oc ref for Brella Charm! I’ve had her since 2012 and she had an ask blog and everything! I changed some things about her too.

She’s a pony who lives near the ocean, and makes umbrellas for a living. It’s a family business, recently moved near the ocean for shipping. She loves the beach! You can find her often swimming and playing in tide pools. When she’s not at the beach, you can find her hanging out with friends, usually playing videogames. Brella Charm is a lesbian! She doesn’t have a gf, but that’s okay. Her demeanor is soft, but she has intense issues with insecurity. Being alone or abandoned is a serious fear, so she compensates by surrounding herself with her friends. It’s almost annoying, but she tries her best. I love her so much, she’s my daughter.

I didn’t think this would happen, considering I’m a complete casual and didn’t even finish the LFR version of Hellfire Citadel. But no, that’s my hunter, and that’s my Grove Warden. A fantastic guild on Proudmoore, Eternal Kingdom, has been offering free #friendshipmoose runs for almost three weeks now, and I was lucky enough to get in on one. So I downed Archimonde on Heroic and got my magical glowy flying moose with just over a week to spare. (Actually I spent roughly half the fight tanking the floor, as I had neglected to change my graphic settings and my fps was in the single digits.)

Shoutout to an awesome guild spending their time and resources to carry what sounds like thousands of folks and allowed them to get this limited-time-only mount. Pretty cool.