but-free-candy

A funny thing about introducing a new queen into a hive that has lost its queen (or one that you’ve killed because her brood was too fighty). 

You have to introduce the new queen into the hive with these special queen cages that are stopped up with candy, and are open enough to let the hive smell the new queen, but not open enough that they can get in there and kill her.

Because they will kill her. 

When you first put the new queen in she smells like an intruder, but by the time it takes the bees to eat through the candy and free the queen, the queen’s pheromones will have had time to work and the hive will have gotten used to her.

From the outside this kinda seems like: 

“Yeh, we were all going to murder you to death before, but we’re full of candy now, so we’re cool. Oh yeh, and how about you be the new queen and stuff. Yeh, that’s cool too.” 

No Free Candy!

“No Free Candy! The money raised from the $0.25 per piece of candy sold goes to help us fund a charity that helps find missing/abducted children. Please, ‘NO’ FREE SAMPLES!”

Was typed on the bright colored sticker on the lucite clear box that had tabs on the very top to hold the charity organization’s card (rescuing missing/abducted kids, for ours), a lockable money hopper with a coin slot on top and “$0.25” on the lid with the slot (my boss even photocopied a quarter, cut out the image, and taped it next to the coin slot), and on the bottom was an open compartment stocked with Jolly Ranchers, Peppermint/Spearmint wheels, individually wrapped Starburst squares (taken from larger wrapper), individually wrapped Now & Laters, individually wrapped spherical candies that are either sour, very spicy hot, or change colors and shrink as you suck on them. We had Tootsie Rolls but nobody wanted those as much, so we quit stocking them.

I worked at a business and the candy box was up front, where I worked. I would politely remind anyone dipping into the candy for free that those cost $0.25 a piece, whenever I had the opportunity (i.e. not busy helping customers and other primary duties). My coworkers did the same thing, and so did my boss. Even a couple of customers called out these cheapskates, though they weren’t as polite about it, and made no bones about shaming these cheap thieving jerks.

But people still kept taking free candy from the honor box, without paying! How low can you get taking money away from an organization that helps kids!? My boss definitely gives the money from the sales to the organization (less the cost of candy). However, more and more people just took free candy or they underpaid by putting pennies, nickels, or dimes in there. One guy, God Bless him, put a $20 bill in there yet only took a couple of pieces of candy. But for every guy like him or even a person who put in $0.25 for a piece of candy, there were two dozen assholes who either took a freebie or simply underpaid.

The assholes who took freebies or underpaid drove really expensive cars, dressed really lavishly, didn’t spend much money in the business, were VERY rude and demanding, and yet take candy without paying from a charitable cause.

My boss had had enough and said “The 'Honors System’ doesn’t work when too many people have no honor!” So he paid, out of his own pocket, to replace the little “Honors System” candy box with a good quality gumball machine like, coin operated dispenser. He got it from a website from a company that has been making and selling these since the 1980s, in America.

The coin operated gumball machine is capable of being bolted down to the counter (my boss did that), it has barrel locking mechanisms on the top clear plexiglass compartment for the candy, a well designed hopper and dispense mechanism to effectively distribute one piece of candy per quarter (works brilliantly), and is set to take quarters only, and the money compartment is safely behind a locking metal door behind the coin drop and turn mechanism, easy to empty out. My boss taped the organization’s cars to the top part (square “globe” where the candy is filled), and the machine cannot be fooled by slugs, coins on strings, or lower denomination coins. You can’t even fool it with foreign currency (one jerk tried to use an Albanian coin to try to steal a piece of candy).

After that, the candy theft stopped, and my boss was able to properly raise the funds to aid this charity.

But seriously, fuck cheapskate customers who think it’s okay to take a piece of candy for free despite the fact it says you have to give $0.25 for each piece of candy in order to fund an organization meant to help kids (or anyone, for that matter), especially when they are driving high end cars and dressed to the nines. If you can afford fancy clothes and expensive cars you can spare $0.25 for a piece of candy.

🐰 EASTER SENTENCE STARTERS.

Happy Easter to those who celebrate!

❛ What are your Easter plans? ❜
❛ You’re never too old to hunt some eggs! ❜
❛ I’m going to Church, mind joining me? ❜
❛ I hope you have a wonderful Easter my friend! ❜
❛ I can’t believe it’s supposed to snow on Easter! ❜
❛ We’re coloring some eggs for Easter, want to help? ❜
❛ I’m baking some goods for Easter, mind helping me? ❜
❛ Are you supposed to boil the eggs before coloring them? ❜
❛ Hey! I got a dollar in one of my plastic eggs! ❜
❛ I never really went egg hunting, ever in my whole life. ❜
❛ So, you walk around and find eggs? That’s it? ❜
❛ Are you going to go shopping with me later? ❜
❛ How does this outfit look? I’m going to wear it for Easter. ❜
❛ Who gets drunk on Easter? ❜
Oh, Easter! Another holiday to use as an excuse to drink! ❜
❛ I drink on all holidays, especially Easter. ❜
❛ I’ve got a surprise egg for you! ❜
❛ Help me fill these eggs with candy. ❜
❛ I can’t believe it’s already Easter. ❜
❛ I never really cared much for Easter, or any holiday. ❜
❛ You didn’t come to the Easter festival today? ❜
❛ Isn’t this like for kids more than anyone? ❜
❛ A holiday to play with eggs! Sounds delightful! ❜
❛ I’m taking my child to see the Easter bunny, want to tag along? ❜
❛ I always loved getting my picture taking with the Easter bunny. ❜
❛ This egg is my egg, I’m keeping it. ❜
❛ Please don’t say you’re wearing that? ❜
❛ I made you a Easter basket. ❜
❛ I got you a Easter basket anyway. ❜
❛ Easter candy is my favorite! ❜
❛ Don’t wait up for the Easter Bunny for that one. ❜
❛ Christmas and Easter are probably the two holiest days in the Christian calendar. ❜
❛ I enjoyed watching the Easter Parade. ❜
❛ The shops are closed on Easter. ❜
❛ Are you going to that Easter thing this weekend? ❜
❛ I’m decorating for Easter, want to help out? ❜
❛ Hey, check out this cool Easter banter I’m going to hang later. ❜
❛ I have a chocolate egg just for you. ❜
❛ I love Easter and all the pastel coloring! ❜
❛ Pastel colors are Easter’s aesthetic. ❜
❛ I just love all these pastel colors! ❜
❛ Tell me, what is Easter again? ❜
❛ Ahh, Easter! Another holiday with great candy! ❜
❛ I’m so not ready for Easter yet. ❜
❛ So, doing anything fun for Easter coming up? ❜
❛ I hope you have a wonderful Easter weekend! ❜
❛ I always loved Easter as a child! ❜
❛ Easter is like my favorite holiday! ❜
❛ I got you a Easter card, hope you like it. ❜
❛ What should I get my boy/girlfriend for Easter? ❜
❛ I really wanted to get you something for Easter. ❜
❛ We should totally sign up to be in this Easter parade. ❜
❛ They’re handing out free candy because it’s Easter this weekend. ❜
❛ They do have Easter baskets on sale, want to get check them out? ❜
❛ There is nothing in this basket but candy? ❜
❛ I’ve got some extra Easter supplies you can use to make a basket. ❜
❛ Easter is like a arts and crafts holiday. ❜
❛ I’ve never been so excited for Easter before! ❜
❛ Why are you so excited for Easter? ❜
❛ I think this Easter will be better than my last. ❜
❛ It just feels like another day to me. ❜
❛ I can’t believe you don’t want to have some fun! ❜
❛ Did you get the basket I mailed you? ❜
❛ I mailed you gift. ❜
❛ Happy Easter! ❜
❛ I don’t really want to participate in this event. ❜
❛ Aw, you’re such a downer! Cheer up! ❜
❛ I really need your help with sitting this up. ❜
❛ I will never be able to pull this Easter party off. ❜
❛ Hey, it’s a double holiday! My birthday is this Easter! ❜
❛ So, is Easter is always on a Sunday? ❜
❛ I can’t believe you’ve never went egg hunting before. ❜
❛ You have not lived until you’ve hunted for eggs like they were gold. ❜
❛ It’s a Easter costume contest, just do it with me! ❜
❛ Who wears a costume on Easter? Other than the Easter bunny. ❜
❛ Plot twist, I’m the Easter bunny. ❜
❛ What’s a good book to read to kids on Easter? ❜
❛ This is the best way to go about doing it I guess. ❜
❛ I really didn’t Easter was this weekend. ❜
❛ I thought Easter had already passed. ❜
❛ Is there going to be food at this event? ❜
❛ Aw, what a cute picture of you and the Easter bunny. ❜
❛ I’ve got so many baskets to make this year. ❜
❛ I’m going to church with my family, I told you already. ❜
❛ I love this Easter day sale. I’ve been here all day. ❜
❛ All the stores are having a sale for Easter and I’m not missing it. ❜
❛ I just bought so much Easter crap. ❜
❛ I collect Easter eggs, if you were wondering why I have so many. ❜
❛ Okay, we got everything we need, now let’s get to work. ❜
❛ The school is having a Easter thing in the gym, want to go with me? ❜
❛ I never understood Easter. ❜
❛ Does the Easter bunny have a name? ❜
❛ Let’s just go shopping, that’s always helpful. ❜
❛ I really must admit, I didn’t think you could pull this off. ❜
❛ Is that a Easter bunny I see? ❜
❛ Let’s go to the petting zoo for Easter! ❜
❛ I love Easter festivals, they’re so much fun! ❜
❛ Well, for what it’s worth you make the best Easter bunny. ❜
❛ Wow, you work as the Easter bunny at the mall? ❜
❛ I’m dressing up as the Easter bunny this year for all the kids. ❜
❛ I’m just here to take pictures for my scrapbook. ❜
❛ Let’s start a Easter scrapbook! ❜
❛ So, we’re heading out early tomorrow, set your alarm. ❜
❛ Man, coloring eggs is pretty messy. ❜
❛ You should have put newspaper down before. ❜
❛ I got you a pet rabbit for Easter. ❜
❛ What’s a good Easter gift for someone? ❜
❛ Is Easter this weekend? ❜
❛ Ever notice how Easter is always on a Sunday? ❜
❛ I’m ordering pizza for Easter, I don’t care! ❜
❛ Okay, so cute these papers into shapes of eggs or rabbits. ❜
❛ I’m send you a special someone for Easter. ❜
❛ Did you ever get that Easter basket I made for you? ❜
❛ I love making Easter baskets! It’s so much fun! ❜
❛ We’re setting up a Easter theme. ❜
❛ This is a beautiful Easter play idea. We should do it. ❜
❛ Are you auditioning for the Easter play? ❜
❛ The school is having a Easter day play, you want to come? ❜
❛ It’s perfect weather for a Easter Sunday! ❜
❛ Okay, help me hide these eggs for the kiddos. ❜
❛ We have to hide all these eggs. ❜
❛ Fill the rest of those plastic eggs. ❜
❛ The eggs you found you keep. ❜
❛ There is going to be a egg hunting contest later. ❜
❛ Don’t forget to watch for the Easter bunny on TV later. ❜
❛ I’m not that into Easter this year. ❜
❛ How are you not ready for Easter? ❜
❛ Is Easter always chaotic like this? ❜
❛ I’m going to take Easter pictures with my family. ❜
❛ Easter cards are an actual thing? ❜
❛ Wait, so you had no idea it was Easter? There are posters everywhere. ❜
❛ I auditioned to be in the Easter play at school so I could skip going to church with my parents. ❜

Dead (Jeff Atkins, 13 reasons)

There had been whispers about it. Jeff wasn’t a drinker to begin with. He was always the designated driver and even when he wasn’t he never had more than two or three beers. That particular night you’d been absolutely bombarded with math and science homework. He’d begged you to come to the party with him. You’d thought about it, but declined in the end. He kissed your cheek and told you he wanted to go to breakfast in the morning and that he’d be there to pick you up at 9:30. You wouldn’t be going to breakfast. In fact the next time you saw your boyfriend it was under very different circumstances. It was six hours later in the middle of the night. He was in a body bag. He was dead. Over what they called a drunk driving accident. Jeff was deemed drunk by most everyone at the scene. Everyone except you and his mother. Of course your opinion on how it happened didn’t matter as much as the fact that he was dead, whether he’d been drunk or not. You’d gone spiraling out of control. So much so that your mother forced you to take the rest of the semester off of school, joining independent studies. It didn’t do any good. You just felt more lonely. Jeff’s presence lacked even more and there was rarely a distraction. You didn’t feel any better about him being gone by the time you had finished your time in independent studies. You felt the same as when you’d first entered independent studies, so you had no problem when it came time for you to come back to school. Still a zombie, of course, and it didn’t help that your friend Hannah Baker had committed suicide during your absence from school. You knew you looked bad. You knew you had dark circles under your eyes. You knew you’d broken out from not eating right or regularly. You knew your hair was in the bun because you hadn’t bothered to shower, turning to perfume and deodorant instead. You opened your locker, shoving your books into it, you were back at it. Everyone was in their usual spots, nothing had really changed since you’d left. Except that Jessica and Justin were no longer together. Zach had gotten dumped by your best friend after the tapes were released. He’d known too much, she said, to keep it all a secret from the people who deserved to know. He’d borderline stalked her for a while. She’d threatened to move across the country with her aunt and uncle if he didn’t leave her alone. So he did. Nothing changed with Bryce. At least not yet. The fact that he was a rapist had gotten out. You’d heard things about Bryce and girls and parties, but not about Jessica and Hannah. You hid your face in your locker as you looked at your phone. You got a text every morning from Jeff’s mother. They varied in what they said. Today’s said “hello beautiful, your mom said I could pick you up after school and we could go to the mall. We also want you to stay for dinner.” You had your license but you hadn’t wanted to drive and your parents hadn’t trusted you to drive since Jeff’s accident. You were scared of cars now. You were also scared of alcohol.
“You’re back.” You hear from behind you. You turn to see Justin Foley. There’s concern in his eyes, like he knows that there’s a great chance you don’t want to be talking to him. And that you won’t forgive him. Forgive him for staying quiet when anything but that would have been a better option. He’d stayed quiet knowing his friend had raped not only Hannah baker, who would of course go on to kill herself, but his own girlfriend.
“Yeah.” You responded, not looking up from your phone as you texted Mrs. Atkins back.
“You look good.” He smiled at you. You locked your phone and slammed your locker closed, startling Justin.
“I’ve learned to accept pity but I’ll never accept being lied to, Foley.” You looked him dead in the eyes before moving to walk away.
“Seriously, Y/N! Given the circumstances you look really good. I don’t know how many people could survive what you’ve gone through.” By the end of his message he’s just white noise and you continued to walk.
“I’m not so sure I did.” You mumbled, leaving the jock in the dust. You knew he’d been having his own struggles. Hell, he’d been having his own problems since the day he’d been born to his waste of space mother. But that boy had let himself become a bystander for rape on account of somehow owing it to his rapist friend. There was no use telling him what you thought, he knew he was in the wrong and he’d heard it a lot. Marcus smiled at you as you continued down the hall. You found yourself walking towards him.
“Hey Y/N how are y-” you cut his formalities off.
“Is Y/FN at school yet?” Marcus was quite obviously caught off guard. His words fumbled together a bit.
“Uh, well, yeah. She tends to not go through the halls a lot anymore. She avoids us a lot.” Marcus explained. He didn’t give much eye contact.
“I knew that much, thanks.” Again, you were stopped before you could walk away.
“Will you guys ever talk to me again?” Zach’s familiar voice took over.
“This is your first attempt to talk to me as far as I’m concerned.” You crossed your arms. He looked as though he was in an extreme amount of pain.
“I’ve called and texted you for months.” Zach looked at the ground.
“One text of the many was you asking about me. The rest was you trying to get to Y/FN because she blocked you on everything. Your motives were not the most selfless, Zach Dempsey. Reassess yourself and your self righteous nature.” You spun on your heels and walked out of the room. You see your best friend talking to a girl named Skye, one of the only people either of you could stand the be around in the school anymore.
“Saw you talking the some henchmen.” Skye said, staring at her fingernails, which were painted black.
“Strictly to see where you were.” Skye smiled a little. Y/FN turned and hugged you.
“I’m glad you’re back, normal is what you need right now.” She said. Once you pulled away from your best friend, you saw someone coming. Clay Jenson. Lanky, kinda dorky Clay Jenson. The Clay Jenson that brought you free candy and free movie ticket vouchers after Jeff died. But this was also, and most certainly not least, the Clay Jenson featured on the tapes. The Clay Jenson that knew girls got raped, that knew a lot about the night Jeff died. Including that it wasn’t Jeff’s fault at all. In fact, he knew he wasn’t drunk and that it was Sheri that was drunk and had caused Jeff’s death. There was a handful of people that knew it wasn’t Jeff’s fault. The people that were featured on the tapes. Clay was featured on the tapes and so was Justin and so was Marcus and so was Zach. They saw you yanked out of school for being mentally unstable and not being able to understand how Jeff did this and why he was drunk at all. There were answers, and no one gave them to you until the tapes were handed to the police. You knew when the public knew. Nothing hurt more than that. And that’s why you hated those boys. And Courtney and Jessica and Alex and Tyler and every other god forsaken person who earned themselves a tape by being an insensitive asshole.
“Hey Y/N.” You looked over at Clay, his hands were stuffed in his pockets as he stared at you nervously. You looked at him, blinked twice, and looked away.
“You look good.” Silence.
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” You can feel Clay looking at you, but you won’t look at him. There’s a short pause.
“Y/N I know I should have said something to you as soon as I knew but it was a lot more complicated than it se-” you found yourself waving your hands in the air begging him to stop speaking.
“You’re going to listen for a moment.” Clay nodded, finally able to make eye contact with you.
“Jeff and I were going to apply to all the same colleges, did he ever tell you that?” Clay nodded his head. You and Jeff had already planned on marriage. Everyone knew it.
“Did you know we were going to share an apartment right away instead of dorms?” Clay gulped, looking at the other two girls nervously.
“He talked about you constantly, Y/N.” You rolled your eyes at his words.
“People have been talking about me constantly. It’s my turn to speak.” Clay shut his mouth quickly.
“Wanna know something I’m sure you weren’t aware of?” Clay’s eyes filled with more fear by the second.
“Did you know that the day after I saw Jeff dragged away in a body bag is the day I miscarried our baby?” Clay knew he wouldn’t speak but his mouth fell open from the shock and not knowing what else to do.
“So yeah, maybe you can forgive yourself for not always being there for Hannah. And maybe Jessica will forgive Justin someday and maybe, just maybe Y/FN will give Zach another chance. But guess who doesn’t have the tools or the people to move on? Me. My boyfriend is dead and my baby is dead. And my future relies on me being a zombie through life, hopefully getting decent enough grades to shuffle through the rest of my life because there will never be someone who makes me feel and love the way Jeff did. And I’ll never be able to have a baby made up of more love. Everything will be me settling because the best of what life has to offer is quite literally dead.” The bell rings but no one moves, and everyone just looks at you as hot tears stream down your face.
“Y/FN, go tell Zach how much you still love him and how much you’re willing to fight for each other. And Skye, tell Clay how you’ve been in love with him since the sixth grade and how you’d be really pumped to go out with him. Because life’s short and sometimes even shorter than expected. No time is put on this earth to be wasted. Love each other.” You let out a shaky breath before turning and heading to English class. Jeff would be proud. In that moment you knew maybe you would be fine.

Story Shard 376

“I hate Halloween. Instead of dressing up and getting free candy and cavaties, I have to grab bottles of sacred water and a blessed sword and go make sure the barriers between our world and another remain as they are. Every year. The same thing. Dammit I want candy.”

“I will buy you 100 bucks worth of candy if you will just shut up.”

Rose Ice Cream

• ½ cup fresh red rose petals
•1 pint vanilla ice cream, softened
•3/8 cup of red wine
•1/8 cup of rose water
•1 tablespoon powdered sugar
•12 candied rose petals

“Use roses that have not been sprayed with insecticides. Choose petals that are free of dirt and insect nibbling. Wash thoroughly in cold water. Drain on paper towels.

Use a small pair of scissors, snip off the white base of each petal. Place prepared petals into a measuring cup; stop when you have half a cup.

Place prepared petals, wine, rose water and sugar into a blender and process for one minute. Turn out softened ice cream into a bowl. Add red wine-rose water-sugar mixture to ice cream. Stir until blended.

Pour mixture into a container and set in the freezer. Stir once or twice to mix during the freezing process. Let free overnight. Serve with candied rose petals”


I bought years ago a booked by Cunningham called Wicca in the Kitchen just so I could cook recipes. I’m not a Wiccan. But the recipes are still good. I think this one is a good one for self love since Valentine’s Day is coming up. Treat yourself! You can use coconut ice cream as a substitute for those with lactose intolerance. :)

Shit I Pulled As A Teenager - Part 1

Since my high school tales have gotten popular I figured I’d tell you the stuff I got up to in my teen years , in school and outside of it.

Hope this entertains you !

These all take place from the ages of 13 to 19 ~


13


- Spent a whole day wandering around town looking for intriguing lost things that June , best thing I found was an ominous note that read “ It awaits your presence at midnight , Emma ”


- Upon learning an old town hall was getting closed down , I snuck in before it got boarded up and stole every pen and piece of stray paper in the place , and I also managed to steal sodas from the cafeteria , which had been pretty cleaned out but there’s always something left behind before a building is abandoned

I never got caught , despite all the pens literally saying “ Town Hall ” on them

- Snuck into the family storage shed occasionally to rummage through boxes looking for items that were once my mother’s, because my dad wouldn’t let me have much of hers so I liberated my favorite things and he’d just assume that he gave them to me


- Somehow managed to put back together a broken satellite tv remote so well that it actually worked better

- The first day of seventh grade we were told that we weren’t allowed snacks in class.

The SECOND day I started a black market for snacks and succeeded in running it for the next few years until my graduation as a senior ( my middle school and high school and the junior high were all held in the same buildings on the same campus and it’s still that way now )


- Was forced to join a church youth group and proceeded to do my best to get thrown out of both the group and the church

“ How many apostles did Jesus have ?”

“ Oh you mean his gay boyfriends? Like 12? ”

“ AUBREY YOU CAN’T SAY THAT ”

“ Oh I’m sorry was Jesus in the closet?”

“ You mean Jesus had wine blood? How wasted was he ? Was Peter his designated walk home buddy ? ”

“ Y'all ever heard of science ? There’s no way that Adam and Eve were real , women aren’t made from rib bones . This reeks of old school pothead fever dreams ”

“ YOU DARE QUESTION THE BIBLE ”

“ Well yeah ???? It was ‘written’ centuries ago and we don’t even have proof the authors actually existed ? And where’s the original oldest copy ? Huh?”


“ You can’t question the word of God! The book of Mormon is sacred!”

“ The book of Mormon was written by a white man who was an active con artist and nobody can verify how he wrote it because he claimed a magic pair of tools channeled God and told him what to write. ”

My efforts to be the heathen were in vain and only resulted in the church trying to save my soul


14
- Started a small cult of nature loving kids and we studied nature magic and convinced elderly people we were witches


- Found a secret hidden room in my school that had two vending machines in it , and they would give free drinks and candy ? I’m convinced I slipped into a pocket reality or something , but it meant I always had a convient hiding spot complete with free snacks

For some reason no one else knew where it was???? It was located just off this little staircase by the gyms , and the room looked straight out of a video game I mean ….

The walls were concrete and graffitied and had this weird off-yellow color to them, one wall looked like it once was a cafeteria order window but it was boarded up so now the counter was just this weird shelf

And the vending machines were always lit up all bright and cheery but gave off this slightly eldritch feeling red glow, and never ran out of anything ???


There was also ALWAYS change in the change returns and one of them would eerily start spitting out dollar bills and coins ( but strangely only when I needed money ???)


There were exactly three chairs in the room, one of which had my name painted on it crypticly ( freaked me the fuck out but I was also hella curious so I kept coming back ) and the others were blank as though the destined students hadn’t yet arrived

I went to that room that I nicknamed The Alter Room every chance I got and there was always some new little detail to notice ????????


New graffiti , different candy in the machine , the chairs had moved , etc.


I keep meaning to base a novel around this weird occurrence in my youth but I don’t know who’d read it ….


Eventually I brought close friends into the room ( half because I wanted to see if the two unclaimed chairs changed ) but I swear that even with more of us going in it was like our own Room of Requirement , the teachers couldn’t find it


They remodeled the whole campus in my senior year, and The Alter Room just went up in smoke the day before construction started . I asked around but none of the workers had seen a room that matched the description.


To this day I am convinced I’ll find The Alter Room again , it’s out there waiting for me and its two other chosen ones

-Smuggled books into my Seminary class and blatantly read them instead of the religious stuff

- Called out my Seminary teacher for not teaching the important roles of women in the religious texts and for sexism

“ And then the whore,Mary Magdalene -”

“ Excuse me but it’s the twenty first century why are you slut shaming my girl Mary ? ”

“Don’t use the word slut in here! ”

“ Then don’t call her a whore! She had sex outside of marriage that’s all , and even if she WAS a sex worker or was super into sex, why do YOU get to judge that? Mr.Davis you’ve got six kids and another on the way , five of your kids are girls ! Would you call your baby girl a slut ? I mean you enjoy hookups , clearly , maybe you’re the slut here. ”


- amazed gasps from class -

“ Mary Magdalene was - ”

“ SHE WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR JESUS SO SHUT UP ”

I got kicked out of class but hey it was worth it


15

- Convinced my biology teacher to keep a baby bat as a pet ( we found it stuck in a chimney poor baby ) , we named him Bruce Wayne and the whole class loved him he was our smol friend

Eventually we let Bruce go into the wild but we had a blast raising him and learned a lot about bats


- Wrote a short story with a plot twist so shocking that my English teacher ( who was also the principal) claimed to need therapy

- The Dragonlance Fiasco * ( which resulted in a three hour manhunt and my narrowly escaping being thrown into a mental hospital )

- I stole pudding . Like , a LOT of pudding. The cafeteria had lots of pudding cups and I knew the back entrance to the kitchen so when the school closed for the day I just…..swiped a few .
Nobody caught on , apparently they would just throw out unused pudding at the end of the week anyway so I was just liberating pudding

I sold it out of my locker for like a dollar each I made good money


Anyway it’s now about 2 am here so I’m gonna sleep and try not to think of the vaguely disturbing Alter Room

THANK YOU FOR 49 FOLLOWS!!! ALMOST TO 50! :D :D :D This is honestly my highest ever i have been followed (and not irl causeimsmexy. nah i lied, im sorry) Thanks so much! :D <3 (PS This is both a face reveal sorta AND the look of my soon to be made OC in the future of Star Wars Time Spazzie Bunnie. He’s got a Beanie, purple and white aviators, doctors mask, black light hoodie, fingerless gloves he made by cutting off fingers from gloves and is both nuts and caring like me XP)

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anonymous asked:

Have you ever write a headcanon about Candy being the one with amnesia and how the boys would react or do for her to remember them? If not I'm totally requesting that C:

Ugggghhhh, I can’t believe I made you wait so long for this. I AM SO SORRY! I hope you like it anon. *ahem*

Nathaniel

He would be shaken upon discovering Candy didn’t remember him. He would do his best not to make her uncomfortable for not having any memory of their time together, but he would also be pained by it. She was his anchor, his reason to smile these days, and she helped him through a few really tough situations. So after he took some deep breaths, and recollected himself in private he would dedicate his time to helping her recover, because she deserved that much from him, and he cared for her so much. He would visit as often as he could, bringing her things to read or would read to her outside, such as Dracula, Sleeping Beauty, and poetry. He would also bring you lunch like Candy did for him on the picnic, talk to her about photography, show Candy pics of White, etc. Anything that had to do with things they did together. In the end, what brought back her memories of Nathaniel was when he repeated a specific phrase. She had asked why he always came to see her and said he must have other important things to do than keep her company. He replied “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but here, right now…with you.” She stared at him and smiled while blushing, before reminding him that’s exactly what he said before they shared their first kiss. He would brush her hair behind her ear hold her close.

Castiel

It honestly broke his heart to find out Candy lost her memory. Non the less her memory of him. They had been through so much, and yet he didn’t realize how much until it was lost to one of them. He would try his best to keep a reassuring face while around her, but wouldn’t be able to contain himself once out of sight. He would punch a wall when he let it all bubble up to a boiling point inside, and after getting his frustrations out of his system he would do whatever he could to help her without being too aggressive….he hoped. Castiel understood this would take time, and he should be very careful, but he the Candy he fell for is still in there. He would visit whenever possible and stay until he was kicked out, talk with her, sneak in some junk food because hospital food sucked, joke with and tease her from time to time and just reassure her as much a possible. They would talk about him and Lysander writing songs together and Candy wondering if she could hear him play sometime in the future. So he brought her a disc of some of the songs he, Lysander, Iris and Nathaniel preformed at a school concert for her to listen to. After a few songs, she remarked how she remembered that Rosa made all of them wear some weird outfits and how how good Castiel was playing on stage. It took them both a minute before they realized her memories were coming back, and he kissed her.

Lysander

Distraught. It was a miracle he was able to stand after another devastating emotional blow. Fist his father becomes sick, Nina was getting too involved in his family affairs, and now….Candy didn’t remember him. What cruel irony? He liked Greek tragedies, but that didn’t mean he wanted to be apart of one in real life. He wouldn’t be able to talk to Candy at first once he received the news of her amnesia. He would just be at a loss for words. But after a visit or two, he would finally harness the strength to speak with Candy on every visit afterwards. Maybe he would show her some of the songs he was working on when he remembered to bring his notebook, and would have Leigh and Rosa accompany him a few times for moral support. He would bring her fresh flowers and replace them if they started to wilt. They would converse and she would ask questions about him and their classmates, and he would inform her as best he could. But in the end, Candy would regain her memories of Lysander the same way he did in the game….an unintentional reenactment of their first encounter. Where Candy thought he was ghost. And it would all come rushing back. Tears welled up in both their eyes and they just stayed in each others arms for a long time.

Kentin

As soon as she asked who he was and he was informed by the doctor that she lost her memory, Kentin had an out of body experience. He zoned out in disbelief. Candy didn’t remember him. At all. They had known each other for so long. And now…..He wasn’t sure whether to cry out of sadness or frustration. It was all overwhelming. But then he realized this was not about him. This was about Candy and her well-being. He would do all he could to help her, to be there for her. Even if it meant she never remembered him. He would remain a friend to her. So whenever he had a chance he would visit Candy in the hospital. They would wander the halls and talk and he would tell her stories of when they went to middle school together and she would ask about his time at military school when he mentioned he was pulled out of Sweet Amoris shortly after arriving. The day before she was going to be released, he stopped by and gave her a bear. She smiled at it for a while, then looked at Kentin and said she loved it and that she would put it on her dresser with the one he gave her before leaving school. Kentin understood, she remembered him, and pulls her into a tight embrace.

Armin

Honestly, he didn’t know how to react. He had never experienced such a thing in his life and his emotions were running every direction that it was hard to focus on just one. Should he be upset? Should he crack a joke? Was that in poor taste? For once, he was just…overwhelmed. Though he and Candy haven’t known each other too long, they had just started dating. And he couldn’t have been happier. He would do anything to hold on to what they had. So he would spend his free time with Candy while she stayed at the hospital. They would talk about movies and he would suggest some for her to see and mention how they could go see a new one once she felt better. He would bring her treats and tell jokes and just…talk. Even if she didn’t remember they were dating, it was nice to get to know her by what she did remember. One day he brought in his gaming console for her to try. She seemed to be having trouble getting the hang of the buttons, he sat behind her and helped her until she was comfortable maneuvering it. She then mentioned this reminded her of the time they both tried to play his console together while locked in the science room. Then they both froze and looked at each other, the ‘winner’ sound emanating from the game.