sorry. i’ve been meaning to call you and explain to you that i miss you. all of the things that we couldn’t be in this life and all of the things that we’ve done to each other, i know that life is short and i’m running out of answers to give back to you. we really should just run away and not worry, but society has molded us into something dark. how black is the mold in your lungs? how often do you want to live? sorry. i just get kind of sad and maybe i should try to be more happy. maybe i’ll move out of this little town and go to italy. i just want to get lost, not like mentally, but kinda like exploring a new city. it’s not normal for a human being to be stuck inside of a city all day. i watched a quarter of the blade runner anime yesterday and it kinda fucked me up. the replicants said something that sparked my soul into ashes. they said that there is no hell or heaven for things like them, this life? baby this is all we’ve got. i don’t mean to be this sad. sorry. there i go again. you know what they say about beautiful things— i wish i knew better. i wish that i knew how to love better, i wish i knew how to be better. i’m sorry about my hands and why they’re always cold. i’m sorry that i didn’t get to say goodbye. if this is my last night here, i wish that i had the courage to call you one last time.