but i really hope you had an amazing day


I ended up stuck with my other wips today, so I’m really glad for offering a portrait for @lightgetsout. (thank you so much for the inspiration)

Found his blog just the other day when I was searching some fan content about @thearcanagame. He’s an amazing cosplayer and - he’s basically Julian IRL.

So, I did take a more experimental direction, it wasn’t what I had in mind at first but I just went with it. Trying to get stuff done instead of spending days in the same piece has been my priority lately.

That’s it, hope you like it.

silverryu25  asked:

Happy birthday!! I hope you had a wonderful day full of amazing people and things! Wish you lots of good things to come, luck with anything you try and more hapiness then you knew you could have! Thank you for being so amazing and sharing your time and skills with us ♡\( ̄▽ ̄)/♡

ahhh omg thank youu!!! xD i’m sorry for the really late reply. but honestly, thank you for being here and commenting on my works! it really means a lot. ;-;  ❤


– happy birthday to my sweetest HT @ukiinas


jinper - a jumper worn by kim seokjin, coined by @jinandtonics​ (happy birthday my love)


After a couple of days of working on this, I’m finally done and I can say I don’t regret a thing XD

This was based off of this scene from “The Lion King”!! I was also inspired by @the-red-matter with this amazing comic that they made!! But instead I used @lunnar-chan ‘s Empireverse because I absolutely adore this AU and the designs s o m u c h !!!!!

I had a lot of fun making this and I really hope you enjoy it!!! Have an amazing day!! <3 <3

Empireverse - @lunnar-chan

Ink - @myebi

Dream - @jokublog

Underswap Sans - Community 

Error - @loverofpiggies

Underfell Sans - Community 


“I have to work harder than anyone else to make it! I’ll never catch up otherwise…! I want to be like you…! Like you. The strongest hero.”

Dedicated to @noxtics
Happy super belated Birthday Zimah-san (°◡°♡)


Hey guys!!
After reading that awesome chapter I just had to draw our wonderful Mikasa with short hair ;W; Finally she’s back I missed her soo much <33

She seriously made my day <3 ;“D I will still need some time to process this chapter .. ^^  the reunion with Eren was so damn amazing ;W;
I hope that you like it   ;w; It’s been a while since the last time I drew her :D I really need to draw her more often ! same goes for all the other wonderful Characters from SNK/AOT! 

Actually my plan was to draw some Johnlock today.. but than the new Chapter from SNK/AOT got out and yeah.. ;w; I promise there will be more Johnlock soon :’D

What I Read During Vacation

So you may or may not know that I was in Greece for about a month in June and I am finally back home! I had such an amazing time and got to catch up and read some really great fics! I didn’t get to read as much as I hoped I would since each day was jam-packed and I had some other readings to finish for my courses. Nevertheless, I read some awesome fics and I can’t wait to share them all with you! (Also, I’m testing out a new way to show my reviews on these posts as I’ve gotten comments about them being lost within the fic summary! Let me know what you think!)

Kintsugi by witchbane, Explicit, 102k (WIP) ***Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Yuuri Katsuki is a hitman burdened with a debt he can never repay. His target: Viktor Nikiforov, next Pakhan to one of the most dangerous families in the Russian mafia.When the two are drawn into a treacherous alliance after a mission gone wrong, the bonds of love and loyalty to family and duty begin to unravel—even as they get more tangled up in each other. 

Have I said how obsessed I am with this fic? Probably, but I’ll say it again. This is SUCH a good mafia AU filled with action, suspense, sexual tension (!!!!) and amazing writing. MUST read if you like mafia AUs!! 

Money Shot by Ashida, Explicit, 36k (WIP)
So Yuuri waited, felt his heart edge back down from his throat as Victor let him catch his bearings, as he just sat and watched Yuuri calm down, patient even though the time he was paying for was ticking.
“Strip for me, Yuuri.” came his first instructions in the lull of silence, the same words he always got, and this is how it always began.

HOOOOO BOY THIS FIC IS SO AMAZING. I have raved about it so many times on this blog but I really just can’t get enough. SO. GOOD.

Pigeon Alley by DiAnna44, Teen, 31k
What’s meant to be will always find a way. Victor and Yuuri? They’re meant to be.

Incredible actor AU that smashes into you like a train going 100000 km/hr hits you right in the feels over and over and over again. Basically, everything Dianna writes will make you cry forever but her incredible storytelling makes it all worth it, and this fic is no exception. 

cancel your reservations by renaissance, Teen, 5.4k 
Yuuri is a college student conducting private fencing lessons for a handsome, rich, and mysterious student. Viktor is not learning to fence because he does medieval reenactments.

Okay, this fic is SO GREAT. I loved the fencing aspect especially because my sister was an Olympic hopeful for fencing so it was fun to read my two favourite characters play the sport I have watched all my life. #writemorefencingfics2k17 ;)

Blackbird by sixpences, Mature, 102k ***Graphic depictions of violence
The year is 1942, and Europe is at war. Captain Victor Nikiforov, an intelligence operative for the NKVD, has been trapped in Berlin by the German invasion of the USSR. Posing as a Nazi industrialist, his days are spent charming information out of Axis diplomats to try and keep the Red Army fighting another day.Yuuri Katsuki, a foreign-educated bureaucrat in the Japanese Embassy, has secrets of his own concealed beneath his unremarkable demeanour. When he uncovers Victor’s real identity, it will alter the course of both of their lives forever.

MUST. READ. One of the best fics I’ve read in this fandom. Incredible writing that engages you right from the start and a storyline that will have you laughing, crying, and biting your nails. Some parts were so intense that I gasped out loud, and other parts so heart-clenching that I may or may not have bawled my eyes out multiple times on the plane. Incredible fic!

The Unknown Unknown by opalish, Teen, 7.4k
Yuuri never meant to become a supervillain. These things just happen to him.

I absolutely ADORE this writer’s style. Such a fun and easy read. Check it out!

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy by DiAnna44, Explicit, 1.7k
When Victor receives a cowboy hat from a fan, Yuuri may or may not want to devastate him.

Please send all my love to @literallynothingbutvictuuri​ for writing this fic. #blessed 

Between Periods by caitwritesstuff, Mature, 18k (WIP)
Yuuri is a history teacher out of a job due to recent cut backs. It just so happens that Phichit works at a school that’s needs a new history teacher. In walks Victor Nikiforov, the undeniably beautiful yet eccentric literature teacher from across the hall with a bit of an obsession with Russian lit and a certain adorable history teacher.

Great teacher AU that I can’t get enough of! Victor is so cute in this and I love how the whole gang’s there. Can’t wait until the next chapter!

Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts by Reiya, Explicit, 130k (WIP)
Viktor doesn’t remember the first time he met Yuuri Katsuki. This however, is what Viktor does remember…

I can’t rave enough about the rivals series. (I’m not kidding. Search up “umfb&mha” and “obs&bs” on my blog to find hundreds of posts of me screaming LOL) Every update of this kills me in the best way possible!

Nuclear Hearts Club by butterbeerbitch, Teen, 28k (WIP)
Being seventeen and chronically confused isn’t always a walk in the park - especially when you’ve been crushing on your brother’s best friend since you were nine. You’d be crazy not to. Victor’s the best thing to happen to the world since sliced bread.

Wow, wow, and wow is all I have to say about this fic. Such an incredible story and descriptive writing that kept me so engrossed I didn’t even notice the turbulence on my plane flight!

Six Hours Ahead by alipiee, Teen, 51k (WIP)
When Yuuri downloaded the harmless quiz app, he didn’t expect to become best friends with the Russian boy who asked him for a rematch.

I FINALLY got around to reading this and it’s definitely lived up to the hype! Such a great read. Check it out!

And the Stars Will Wait by lily_winterwood, Explicit, 19k
Of all the places he had hoped to take Yuuri during their honeymoon — their first trip together as a married couple — he hadn’t anticipated bringing him back to the family dacha and all the memories it evoked.

More BTDS-verse amazingness!! I’m a sucker for honeymoon fics!

(˃̶͈̀_˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾( ノ_ಠ)₍₍ (̨̡ ‾᷄♡‾᷅ )̧̢ ₎₎

Be sure to give the authors some love! Thank you all for being so patient while I was away. Regular lists are back for the rest of the summer! 

Three shades of a man (a third chapter)

Summary: You have seen Bucky Barnes at his best and his worst, and he asks you to help him through it all.

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: NSFW, 18+ ONLY; lots of smut, go no further if you’re not over 18 please. 

A/N:  I’ve had so many amazing comments from you lovely people about these stories, and it genuinely makes my day hearing from each and everyone one of you, so thank you from the bottom of my heart! I’ve really loved writing this mini-series, and I appreciate you guys sticking around while I take off the smut training wheels. Final chapter below, and tried to tag those who have requested it, but Tumblr is not cooperating, so hope it works. Also apparently I’m super wordy, so this is kinda long. Oops. Feedback and comments are always welcome.

Read Part 1
Read Part 2


Originally posted by loveviral

Calm, relieved, playful

I’m coming home. Can’t wait to see you.

It was a text you didn’t expect, if only because he was not a demonstrative person when it came to the written word. He was always perfunctory, preferring to send an image or a three word answer, not because he didn’t enjoy talking to you, but simply because that’s who he was. He expressed his emotions in a multitude of other ways, saving his syllables to whisper in your ear when he was wrapped inside you, murmuring his feelings into your sweaty skin every time you brought him to his knees.

It doesn’t come often, but here it was, the Bucky Barnes you always wait to see. You think this must be him, the real him, James Buchanan Barnes, the sweet, flirty, cocky boy who was so sure of himself and his place in the world, before he became a man carved up and torn apart, remade by the chaos of war.

Keep reading


dedicated to @amajikie
happy belated birthday jessica! ♡

BTS Headcanon They’re Your Fanboys

Anonymous said to b-tsfanfic-tion:

Hi! Can I request a headcannon where BTS isn’t famous but you’re an idol and they are your fanboys?


Originally posted by jaepsael

  • Runs a fanblog called Worldwide Handsomest Fan
  • He posts anything and everything
  • Interview clips
  • Memes
  • Pictures
  • Magazine articles
  • You name it, he posts it
  • The one requirement is that it has to do about you
  • One day he entered a competition for people who run fan accounts
  • The prize was meeting you
  • He didn’t really think he’d win
  • He did it for shits and giggles, really
  • But then he actually did win and his brain practically exploded
  • The day he met you he wore all the merch he owned
  • Which was only a shirt and hat
  • Because, shit, official merch was expensive
  • But he knew he made the right choice when you noticed his clothes
  • “Hey, I recognize that logo! Slick style!” 
  • That day he got you to sign his hat
  • After that he never wore it out all that much, because he was worried he’d lose it
  • But he’d post plenty of selfies of him wearing the cap on his fanblog
  • #WorldwideHandsome 


Originally posted by sugasuite

  • Remixes his favorite songs of yours
  • He’d often times use the equipment at the recording studio he worked out
  • Luckily for him when his boss found out he wasn’t in to much trouble
  • Turns out his boss wasn’t only a fan of yours, but once he heard Yoongi’s remixes he was a fan of his own employee
  • Yoongi’s boss wasn’t the only one who liked his music
  • He got really popular on soundcloud because of them
  • People liked his style
  • And matched with your voice
  • The songs were absolutely amazing 
  • They blew up so much the songs made their way to you
  • And soon, you joined the pretty large following of fans Yoongi had acquired
  • Which he found out when he saw one of your interviews
  • “You have very dedicated fans.” 
  • “Yeah, I’m really lucky. There’s this one fan who makes amazing remixes. According to his soundcloud his name is Yoongi. Literally half my playlist now is made up of his music.” 
  • After that he hoped to one day be able to produce a completely original song with you.


Originally posted by championamjoon

  • Learns all the choreography from every single dance
  • Even when he wasn’t trying to learn a dance he would still somehow memorizes it
  • Because he watched your music videos that much
  • Sometimes if his train home was late he’d start to practice all your dances right there in the station
  • He’d start to attract crowds
  • who loved his dancing
  • One night when you were a part of the crowd his heart stopped
  • And so did his feet
  • It was the only time he had ever messed up the choreography
  • But he couldn’t help it!! 
  • Seeing his number one idol had completely thrown him for a loop
  • “I think I recognized that dance” 
  • Your teasing made him blush and grin widely
  • Chatting with you till you had to go made him miss his train
  • But even as he took the long walk home he couldn’t help but think about how it was so worth it


  • Writes fanmail
  • But not just any fanmail
  • He tried to make it really deep
  • He had even written a few poems
  • It was like a new creative outlet for him
  • He wasn’t sure if you really got to read his mail or not, but that didn’t stop him from sending a letter or two once a month
  • He just enjoyed writing, and who better to send that writing to than his idol
  • But he found out that you did actually read his letters when he got to go to a fansign
  • He had written another poem and was handing it over to you
  • He couldn’t help but give a smile so large it showed of his dimples when your face lit up in recognition
  • “Oh, it’s you!” 
  • “M-me?” 
  • “Yes, I love your poetry! You should be a writer!” 
  • That compliment sent him over the moon 
  • You gave him the confidence to write for real 
  • He promised himself if he ever got published he’d send you a copy of the book. 


  • Reads all the fanfiction. 
  • Drabble
  • Oneshot 
  • Headcanon 
  • Reaction
  • You name it, he’s read it
  • He just loved reading anything that had to do with pairing him and his favorite idol (you) together
  • Reading all that fanfiction made him prone to daydreaming about you every so often too
  • Sort of like writing his own fanfiction, but just in his head
  • He wondered if he should ever write it down, but he never got around to it
  • Instead he got to do something a little more exciting than just daydreaming
  • He got to actually meet you at a fansign
  • And it was better than any fanfiction he’d ever read 
  • He was trying his best to be charming through all his blushing and giggling
  • True, he didn’t manage to get you to fall in love with him 
  • like the story line of his favorite one-shot 
  • But it was an amazing experience for him all the same
  • And no fanfic after that would ever measure up to meeting you in real life. 


  • Draws fanart of you
  • He especially loved doing funny little au drawings
  • He would draw you as all different types of things
  • Witches
  • Pirates
  • Fairies
  • One time he even reimagined you as a bunch of mythological gods and goddesses
  • He had so many drawings he eventually started giving them away to other fans
  • But his favorites he would keep and hang up on his wall
  • His day was made when the subject of his art found one of his drawings
  • He was staring at his phone screen in aw when it happened 
  • And he kept rereading his tagged username like he couldn’t quite believe it
  • You had given him a shout out on your instagram account
  • “#FanArtFriday This Drawing @Taehyung did is just perfect!! Thank you so much! You’ve gained a new fan!!” 
  • He couldn’t believe it
  • You had called yourself his fan
  • Although you thought nothing of it when you posted it, it absolutely made his day.


Originally posted by flowersonjeon

  • Does covers to all of your songs
  • Daydreams about you finding those covers on youtube
  • He wants to be a singer too, like you
  • Because he loves singing the most 
  • But also because that would mean if he actually became a real singer he could colab with you 
  • When he met you at a fansign he became shy
  • So so shy 
  • He kept looking at the ground and avoiding eye contact at all costs
  • But he somehow managed to build up the courage to tell you he likes to sing too 
  • When you asked him to sign for you 
  • HE’D DIE 
  • But then he’d sing lol 
  • And then he’d die again when you told him you thought he was an amazing singer 
  • The cd you had signed for him would be his most prized possession 
  • And whenever he was feeling especially down he would play the cd while singing along
  • The whole time thinking about how you had said he was a good singer

anonymous asked:

Hi! You seem to have become a sort of dinner consultant/therapist/cheerleader, which is delightful. I hope you don't mind if I ask a downer question--how do I will myself to make good food when I'm depressed, and feel deep down that I may not deserve proper nourishment? Than you, you're well.

I suffer from Depression, Bipolar, C-PTSD, ADHD and Memory Issues and yeah, I really get that feeling of not having the energy/focus/self-worth to make dinner.  I’m not a therapist or nutritionist, so all I can offer is things that have worked for me, and hope that some of them work for you:

It’s Better To Eat SOMETHING Than Nothing

No really.  There are a LOT of days when I’m too tired, too distractable or just too Blugh to cook.  And for days like that, I have microwave meals, or “put in pot and add water” things, like Mac N Cheese.  They’re not Organic, or Nutritionally Balanced but everything I’ve been told by every doctor and therapist I’ve had: EATING SOMETHING, EVEN MICROWAVE MAC OR CHIPS IS SO, SO MUCH BETTER FOR YOU THAN EATING NOTHING.

Food is not an all-or-nothing deal.  Humans have an amazing ability to take in nutrition from darn near anything that doesn’t kill us, which is part of the reason we’re all over the dang planet.  Any food is good food, esp when you haven’t eaten all day because your brain has been playing a shitty surrealist version of reality for you all day.

So when you CAN cook, cook, but if you can’t, don’t worry too much.  Just get something down your throat, and live to see the next, better, day.

Related: If you can’t do a full meal, but you CAN add *extras* to things to help you.  Tortilla Chips Depression meal? Add Salsa!  BAM! VEGETABLE SERVING!!  Can of beans? CHEESE.  OH LOOK, MORE PROTEIN.  whatever you can add is like, extra credit.  Good job you!

Actually Learning To Cook

So actually learning about food safety, spice theory, what happens chemically to food when you cook it and how to make different styles of cuisine confers a whole bunch of cool benefits for my sometimes-garbage brain:

  • I really like reading and learning new stuff, so making it a “learning a new thing” makes it less like a chore and more of an Interesting Distraction.
  • This doesn’t have to be any form of academically rigorous.  Like, watching cooking shows, looking up stuff online, or hell, googling stuff in the middle of the supermarket if something is on sale and you’re curious but don’t actually know what to do with it.   Good Eats and America’s Test Kitchen are both very educational and soothing to watch.
  • Also cooking shows are GREAT for both my anxiety and stimulating my appetite
  • Reduces the number of Thinking Spoons to actually make dinner.  If I have a general working knowledge of what things taste good and how to make them, it’s a lot less effort than trying to look up and follow a recipe.
  •   GO AHEAD AND USE SHORTCUTS.  No, really.  Those frozen cutlets of fish you stick in a toaster oven? GREAT.  pre-mixed seasoning? AWESOME. Frozen veggies are already cut up and are just as good as fresh.  Like if you don’t have the energy to do something, pre-made stuff is FANTASTIC for getting something healthy into your system for honestly not that much money or less in some cases.

Being Responsible For More Than Myself

The thing that has helped me take care of myself was getting engaged and a dog.  My mental illness has a neat shortcut where when I can’t do things for myself, I can magically do them for other people.  When I cook, I’m cooking for both myself and for my fiance.  Being responsible for making sure he eats a few nights a week is the biggest driving force in getting me to stay on enough of a schedule that I’ll be capable of cooking.  (He cooks other nights and whoever cooks, the other does the dishes.)

I realize that getting hitched is not in the cards for everyone and that’s hardly a reflection of one’s worth, but there are ways to add responsibility to your life if that helps with executive function.  Prior to meeting my fiance, My family had an elderly German shepherd with a sensitive stomach and I cooked him chicken and rice every night for three years on the vet’s recommendation.  Or maybe you cook for a neighbor once a week.  Or tie feeding your cat to you having dinner as well, becuase you can’t take care of fluffy if you’ve got low blood sugar, right?

Eating Is Self-Care, Like Taking Meds or Wearing Comfy Jammies

Another thing that helped me: Realizing that eating made me feel better.  Literally, if I keep my blood sugar stable (Prone to hypoglycemia), my mood’s better, I get fewer headaches, and so on.  What’s Healthy is different for everyone and I recommend talking to a nutritionist at least once to get an idea on what might be unique to you.  Most gyms, community centers or clinics will have someone on staff to help, but you should start by asking your GP for a recommendation.

So when I start too feel poorly, my checklist is “When was the last time I ate? Am I craving something?”  (Along with “Am I dehydrated?”  staying hydrated also helps with appetite issues) and I fin that I usually am.  Sometimes it’s salt, sometimes it’s a whole head of broccoli.  Food is our body’s main means of getting what it needs to survive and giving your body what it needs (even if it’s fat and sugar and carbs, which yes, you need sometimes) will make you feel better, I promise.

Eating Stuff You Actually Like 

Bananas are, allegedly, really good for me.  Potassium, vitamins, good fats etc.   They also taste like satan’s own diabetic mucus and I’m never gonna eat one if I can’t help it.  Just, No.  Don’t force yourself to eat things just becuase they’re healthy.  That’ll only make you hate eating.

Like I mentioned before, you, presumed human, can draw nutrition and calories from darn near anything.  So go boldly, and try new foods and spices and cooking methods and find things you actually enjoy eating.

  • Remember all those veggies you hated as a kid?  Try them again as an adult, because your taste buds literally change over time and things taste way less bitter than when you were a kid.  Try different cooking methods too- anything brassica is like 500% better tossed with olive oil, salt &pepper and roasted on a sheet pan. 
  • HOW you cook things makes a huge difference in both how they taste and how stressful cooking is.  Wanna leave something in a crock pot and forget about it until the timer goes off? AWESOME. Grilling becuase  you prefer something more engaging becuase you’re bored? ALSO GREAT.  Try out different cooking methids to find out what tastes good and is fun to do,
  • Are you one of those people that likes, 3 things, and can have them every night for eternity?  GO YOU, with your pre-planned menu!  Maybe call up a nutritionist to see if you need to be taking some extra vitamins, but really, this is fine too,

Ok this has gotten a mile long and kind of rambling but I hope it helps you!


been feeling incredibly unmotivated lately which is really strange for me.

anyways now typhoon mangkhut has passed, school has been cancelled for two days now, and my flat has stopped swaying and leaking, i finally found a little bit of energy to do some IB Geography notes on what is quite an easy chapter, ngl. but it is progress. 

of course, shout out to @emmastudies for her amazing printables and downloads which helps to keep my life in check. 

hope you guys can excuse the messy desk, i havent had energy to pack it up.

to all those affected by mangkhut, i hope you are all safe and dry, and wow was it a typhoon. freaked me out quite a bit here in hong kong. 

currently listening to: Rey’s Theme from this playlist 

anonymous asked:

(1/5) hey I love your mmo au! (im a moba nerd so idk if some of these terms translate to rpgs oof) Faith is a celestial mage, with an enchanted animal familiar called monomi by default (but chiaki calls her usami). Despite being a mage, Faith is the tank of the group and can take a hit; her attack isn’t incredibly high, but she got good buff spells for her and her team. In terms of pure skill, Chiaki is one of the highest ranked players.

(2/5)Ghost is a heccin cryptid in the game world; while his team can be found playing around alone or with other players, Ghost is hardly ever found without at least one of his team with him (it’s really because Hajime changes his appearance bc he doesn’t like being called edgy). There was a server error while generating his character so nobody can really see his level or stats? Hajime has a whole booklet dedicated to just keeping track but at this point he doesn’t even know for sure.

(3/5)Ghost is the offensive of the team, and deals primary damage. He also got good movement speed and defense, but a low life total. Hajime probably spends his life on this game. If there’s an award for longest time spent on this game, it goes to Hajime. Chance has no attack stat and works with negative status effects such as stat debuffs, sleep, paralysis, poison. Chance has insane amounts of health, but he’s really squishy with little to no defence, one solid hit and he’s down to 10%- 

(4/5) -Good luck landing that hit though, despite his speed stat also being quite low, he has incredibly high evasion stats. Maybe 14/15 of your attacks will be misses. In the meantime, Chance is draining your health and replenishing his own, then healing his team by transferring his own health while barely making a dent in the high ass numbers.   

(5/5) Chance also has a really high luck stat, and gets almost double the loot and gold drops sometimes. While not quite the typical support, he does a really good job. Chance was build purely on being interesting to play with and against, and bc Nagito just really wants to fuck up your good day and hear you cry. He’s not particularly good at the game, but he’s got excellent tactical skill and combos. (Lmao I based this off of one of my favourite characters I’ve build, it’s fun to play with)

wow! you did an immensely detailed take on this, so I’m just gonna post it and thank you for your interest and your contribution!! I’m perfectly happy with this being the skillset of the top team, actually, you’ve done more thinking on it than I have and I’m very impressed!!


Hey, @taylorswift! So I don’t know if you really remember Khloe? She is mainly known as Fearless Khloe! You met her at CHLA in May of 2014. She had just found out days before that after chemo and several different forms of treatment that there was no more signs of cancer in her eye. That May was a good month because she not only “broke up with her tumor” but she got to meet you, her favorite. You made her so unbelievably happy that day and still to this day, you are a constant source of happiness and joy in her life. She went on to battle cancer again and the day before your 1st 1989 show in LA we got the news that Cancer was going to take her eye. It was hard. But the next day, we went to your show and had the most amazing time! Thank you for that. She was scheduled to have surgery to remove her eye the morning following your last night of the LA shows so, knowing she would never have vision in her right eye again and that the healing would be long and hard, I decided to give her one last fun, no worry night at your show. I spent all my savings and bought her floor seats right next to the catwalk. The picture above is her at that show, you can’t see the bottom half of her face but you can tell she had the biggest smile on her face when you came out. You don’t know how happy you make her and how much she really loves you and how to this day she still calls you her Auntie Taylor since the day you met her, you told her you would love to be her Auntie. Sometimes she asks me if I think you remember her, to which I always reply, “Of course I do because I know no one could ever forget someone as amazing as you.” And I hope that that is true. I’m not one to ever really ask for things because I know there are so many people in this world that deserve it more but when it comes to my Little, I know she deserves the world so I try to not be so weird for asking. All she wants is to hug you again. And to tell you and show you how she is now going on THREE YEARS CANCER FREE. And she is healthy and strong. She is also absolutely hilarious and wild. When you met her at CHLA and you read her sign, you personally invited her to any show of her choice. But it never happened and she got pretty hurt by it. It’s totally understandable that it somehow got forgotten seeing as you went on to meet plenty of other brave children that day. And I’m not here to ask for free tickets. We’re so excited that you’re back near LA that we got tickets to BOTH of the Pasadena shows on the 18th and 19th. I’m just here to ask, that if this somehow finds you and you read this ridiculously long post that you might consider giving Khlo another hug to hold on to over the years. It’s all she wants. And if it’s not in the cards, that is completely fine and she will still love you and go to the shows and have the best time! I just had to take the shot for her, because her smile and happiness are my favorite things in this world and you are one major source of them. Thank you for all you do and the heart that you share with all of us. We cannot wait to see you at the Rose Bowl! We wish you happiness and safe travels with this tour!


But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dream to shame.

anonymous asked:

Some mingyu angst would bc nice like due to being an idol you havent seen him latley and hes all stressed and accidently tells u he doesnt love u anymore hehe can it have a happy ending

“I really like you, and it would be amazing if you wanted to go out with me, Y/N.”

It had been a bit over a year since Mingyu first asked you to date him, his eyes full of hope and a small smile playing on his lips. It felt like it had just happened the day before, and a part of you almost wished it had.

Most of that year had been amazing: he had been so loving, so invested in your relationship and so there that it pained you to be reminded of the present reality, where you were always the one to contact him, got late replies if any, and were able to see him only rarely. It was upsetting, to say the least, yet somehow the memories of how good he could be kept you there, hoping that things would change.

Besides, for those short moments that you were able to see him every now and then, he was, more often than not, much like the Mingyu in your memories: cuddly, sweet and apologetic whenever he felt like he had wronged you, in one way or another. 

Although, even that had started to change, and little by little Mingyu started being distant and tense even with you, saying rash things more and more often and apologizing while rubbing his temples and saying that he’s been really stressed lately.

You supposed you were lucky to know the reason behind the change - as a member of a very popular idol group who had a lot of activities, it was only natural for Mingyu to be busy and tired - but it didn’t make it any less of a bitter pill to swallow.

That evening, you had been fortunate enough to schedule a dinner date with Mingyu, which you had been looking forward to for a good while: those, or any kind of dates, were a rarity. When he had arrived at your place, you greeted him with an excited smile and gave him a hug, trying not to mind the fact that his arms didn’t wrap around you like they used to.

“How have you been?” you asked brightly, leading Mingyu to the kitchen, where you had already taken out some food supplies you’d be using to make dinner together. He smiled weakly, and you could hear him sigh.

“Busy and tired,” he mumbled while following you. “We practice around the clock, and it’s starting to take a toll, especially with all the performances added to that.”

“I can imagine,” you said quietly, saddened by the fact that he had to be working so hard, but didn’t mention it. Mingyu didn’t reply as he looked at the ingredients you had set out.

“Are we making steak?” he asked, seeming somewhat disappointed, at which you frowned a little.

“Yeah, I thought you liked it,” you said with a slightly quirked eyebrow and turned to look at Mingyu, who still had a sourish face on.

“Sure, but I’m not really feeling it today…” he trailed off and sighed heavily. “But it’ll do, don’t worry.”

Food had never been an obstacle before, so you felt a bit upset at his words, but tried to shrug the feeling off. After all, you were with Mingyu for the first time in a long time, and you wanted to make the best out of it. …Or try to, at least.

You cooked with an unusual silence over you, considering you normally talked quite a bit, sharing stories about your days and just updating each other in general. And yet now there was none of that, and what made you feel the most anxious was that not once had he asked how you were or what you had been up to.

Far gone were his regular check-ups on you and his interest in you, on many levels.

“Mingyu, is everything okay?” you asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as you possibly could while feeling like you were next to a stranger while he was the person who had gotten closer to you than anyone else, and got back a low, disinterested hum. “You don’t… seem good.”

He let out a sigh. “Like I said, I’m tired. I’m fine. Let’s just get this dinner over and done with.”

Your heart dropped at his words, which he said so harshly that there was not much room for interpretations: he felt like your date was a chore.

Swallowing, you continued chopping the cucumber that your salad was still missing. “…Right.”

The dinner itself was just as disappointing as the cooking, and you found yourself waiting for it to end, even if - or exactly because - it meant you wouldn’t see Mingyu for another few weeks at least. You barely talked, and even your appetite had disappeared on most part: you could hardly finish the small portion of food that you had taken on your plate.

Not much after finishing his food, Mingyu emptied his glass and sighed. “I should get going.”

If the night had gone any differently you would’ve disappointedly asked him ”Already?” yet now you found yourself feeling indifferent as you nodded. “Okay.”

He took his dishes away and moved on to put his jacket and shoes on while you took your own dishes to the sink, some food still on the plate. Afterwards you went to the clothing rack, where he was getting dressed, but didn’t get too close to him.

Before leaving and mumbling, “Goodbye,” he gave you a quick peck on your temple and briefly placed his hand on your lower back.

As the door closed behind him, you let out a shaky sigh, your apartment feeling a lot colder than it actually was. Anxious, frustrated and sad tears welled up in your eyes at the realization that the only physical contact you had gotten from Mingyu after a month of not seeing him were a quick peck on your temple and his hand on your back for two seconds.

Were you even dating anymore?

The next time you were ’fortunate’ enough to see Mingyu, the tension between the two of you could’ve been cut with a knife. He was visibly tired and you knew how busy he was, but none of it excused the way he had treated you, whether it was via text messages or in person.

That day, you visited him at the dorm, invited by him, yet you were met with barely anything more than a cold shoulder.

“Hi,” Mingyu said when he saw you at the door to his room, and you stared at him.

“That’s all?” you asked, taking slow steps towards him while he sat by the desk in the room. You took a seat on the bed you could somewhat remember belonging to Jihoon, and fiddled with the hem of your shirt. You felt so anxious you might as well have thrown up, but were somewhat able to keep your composure. After all, it had to be done.  “Mingyu… I want to be honest with you.”

“What’s on your mind?” he asked with a sigh and turned to look at you. You clenched your teeth, then clicked your tongue before finally speaking up again.

“I don’t know what’s happening, but I really feel like… you know, if you loved me, you’d put more of an effort into this relationship of ours, or what’s left of it,” you said, articulating each word as well as you could while trying to will your body not to shake so awfully, which was rather futile.

Mingyu blinked. “Exactly.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “What does tha–”

If I loved you,” he said blankly, as though slamming the ugly truth straight into your face.

And just like that, you felt your heart drop, your stomach turn, air leave your lungs, your vision blur with tears…

Something along the lines of the beginning of a heartbreak.

“That’s it,” you said, your voice now shaky and giving away the emotional turmoil you were in, and stood up. Even your legs felt shaky as you walked to the door. “After everything… I’m done.”

It wasn’t until you had slammed the door shut behind yourself that Mingyu started realizing just what had happened, but by the time he had left the bedroom, you were already gone from the dorm. Some of the members had come out from wherever they had been, and having witnessed your rather emotional storming out, were now staring at Mingyu disapprovingly.

“What did you do?” Minghao asked with a pout, his eyebrows in a frown.

Mingyu ran his fingers through his hair and sighed exasperatedly. “Something really stupid.”

“No kidding,” Seungkwan mumbled in dismay and shook his head. Some of the others mumbled something in agreement, and in the end Mingyu groaned and locked himself up in his bedroom.

How had things ended up like that?

You hated going back home, because for most of the journey, there were tears streaming down your cheeks, which attracted way more attention than you wanted on yourself in that moment.

You felt sick to your stomach, your heart was aching, you were cold and shaky, and most annoyingly, your mind wouldn’t stop replaying some of the best memories you had of your relationship with Mingyu.

All of the times he had smiled at you while hugging you, or cuddled you peacefully, or teased you and said he loved you right after, or leaned down to press the softest of kisses to your lips…

“I hate him,” you said through your tears when you locked the door to your apartment behind yourself and threw your bag and jacket to the floor, not caring where they ended up, and toed your shoes off.

Almost blindly, you went to your bed, got under the blankets and grabbed the extra pillow you had lying around, hugging it tight to your chest.

It didn’t stop the ache nor did it make you feel particularly better, but it did give you the tiniest sense of comfort.

Some time later, you heard your phone ring, and upon checking it, saw that it was Mingyu.

Wincing, you declined his call and turned your phone off before returning to hugging your pillow, which you still held close to yourself when you fell asleep around half an hour later, your tears having stained your cheeks and your eyes annoyingly puffy already.

The last thought before you drifted off to sleep was that you should’ve known it wouldn’t be easy to date an idol.

You should’ve known that you were bound to get hurt.

Days rolled by one by one, and with you having blocked Mingyu in just about every platform you could think of, you were slowly starting to feel a bit more at ease.

You still winced whenever there was something that reminded you of him - which was awfully many things, really - but at least you didn’t have to witness his attempts of contacting you, and finally it felt like a good thing that he was too busy to drop by.

During the first few days, you collected most of his things that had in one way or another ended up at your place, into a box. It wasn’t that many things, really: mostly some pieces of clothing or jewelry, some CDs or scents, among everything else.

It was more and more frequently that you found yourself looking out of the window and getting lost in your thoughts, the main one revolving around how much it hurt to hear someone you had loved for so long suddenly say “If I loved you”.

You couldn’t help but wonder when the feeling had first died.

Whether it was because you were drained from energy or because the ringing of your doorbell brought you back to reality from one of such journeys to your thoughts, you completely forgot about the possibility of the visitor being someone you didn’t want to see as you went to the door.

And indeed, as soon as you opened the door, you were met with Mingyu, holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers and looking almost as horrendous as you were.

“Y/N, I want to ta–”

The sight had made your heart skip a beat, and definitely not in a good way, and suddenly you went from feeling nice and calm to full blown anxiety as you shut the door.

“Go away,” you said through the door, holding your hands against the wood as if you were trying to prevent Mingyu from opening it, despite the door being locked already.

“I’m sorry,” Mingyu said, and it hurt you more than you wanted it to when you heard him sniffle. “I’ve been so stupid and I’m so sorry… I shouldn’t have–”

“That’s right,” you said through your own tears, sniffling as you wiped your eyes with your sleeves. “You shouldn’t have said anything, you shouldn’t have treated me so badly, you shouldn’t have–”

“Been such a lousy boyfriend, I know,” he continued your sentence, and you hummed in a reply, sniffling. Mingyu sighed shakily, looking at the flowers he was holding. “I got you your favorite flowers, Y/N. I know how much you like them. Even if you don’t want to talk with me, please accept them.”

Your heart beat fast in your chest as you processed his words, thinking about all the possible outcomes of whatever you chose to do next, and eventually you found yourself opening the door, although very slowly.

“…Come in, I’ll listen, but only for as long as I’m comfortable with. I’ve got some of your stuff to give you anyway,” you said quietly, looking at Mingyu’s feet instead of his face. He nodded and waited for you to move away from the doorway until he took slow steps into your apartment.

In silence, you went to sit on your couch, and a bit awkwardly, Mingyu brought the flowers closer to you. “So… these are for you.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled and looked at the flowers, cursing the fact that they were the very same ones he had somehow managed to give you on your first date as tears welled up in your eyes again, and you had to wipe them away.

Without much consideration, Mingyu got an arm around you and pulled you close, placing his lips to the top of your head.

And as much as you wanted to stay strong and pull away, it was an undeniable fact that Mingyu’s arms were one of your absolute favorite places to be, and in that moment that was right where you needed to be.

“I love you,” Mingyu whispered, and you could feel his tears fall onto your head. “I’m so sorry about everything.”

You nodded and weakly clung onto the sweater he was wearing while holding the flowers on your lap.

“You should be,” you muttered, and slowly lifted your face, tainted with tears, much like Mingyu’s. Your lips quivered and your voice wavered as you spoke. “You broke my heart.”

“I know,” Mingyu said, his lips forming an involuntary pout. “And I’m so sorry.”

You hid your face in his chest for a while, trying to calm down while a surprisingly comfortable silence hung over you.

“If… if you’d let me, I’d like to help you fix it, too,” Mingyu said suddenly, his voice quiet yet still emotional. You bit on your lower lip.

“You can try,” you whispered, sighing. “I’ll let you try.”

“Thank you,” he merely breathed and hugged you close.

You hadn’t forgiven him, no, but you were willing to see how things would play out if you did let him, indeed, try. If it got too much, you could always end it.

But for the time being, you wanted to enjoy the comfort of his embrace, which you had missed more than you could express with words, after months and months of not experiencing it.

“I’ve missed this,” Mingyu noted quietly, his hand stroking your arm soothingly. You hummed. “I’ll make sure that things will change.”

Nodding slowly, you sighed and relaxed against him.

“I’m tired,” you said, and got an amused huff of breath from Mingyu.

“You should sleep. I can go,” he mumbled softly, and blinked in surprise when you shook your head.

“Stay,” you said just as softly, and looked up at him, “I want to be with you for a little more.”

He melted into a warm smile as he nodded and took you to bed, and held your hand while you got comfortable under your blankets and fell asleep in a blink of an eye.

You were surprised to find Mingyu there even when you woke up, but you felt surprisingly serene at the sight. Stroking his hair slowly, you smiled a little when his eyes fluttered open.

“Don’t you have places to be?” you asked quietly, and got back a goofy smile and his hand slowly reaching for your cheek, and when you didn’t pull away, he cupped it gently.

“Not today.”

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