but he didn't let that stop him from Getting Shit Done

Bitty’s Southern

Bitty is a southern boy and as a southern girl let me tell you there are things he does that make the rest of SMH go “Ummm….what?” 

  • He says stuff that makes literal ZERO sense to the rest of the team. Mostly southern phrases etc. LIKE, “That boy is about of useless as tits on a bull.” or  if it’s raining but the sun is out Bits just says, “Devil must be beatin’ his wife.”  Everyone is confused as shit.
  • “Oh my goodness I want Chick-fil-a. BUT IT’S SUNDAY.”
  • Holster going,” Hey Bits can you hand me a coke?” and Bitty responding with, “Sure, which kind do you want? We’ve got sprite, mtn dew, dr. pepper…” BC in the south every soda is a coke.
  • “Y’all know what I miss the most about Georgia? Cheerwine. And Duke’s Mayo. You northerners keep using that hellman’s stuff or miracle whip and let me tell you. IT. IS .NOT. MAYONNAISE.”
  • “IT’S SO HOT! Summer is the WORST” “Ransom, It’s like, 70 degrees. It gets up to like 115+ in Georgia. And it’s not even humid! You hush your mouth.”
  • The first time Bitty goes to Stop & Shop with one of the guys from SMH he tells them to grab a buggy on their way in and said member stares at him for a second, “What’s a buggy?” “Oh for goodness sake. A shopping cart! We need a shopping cart!”
  • Bitty’s drunk at a kegster when he suddenly shouts, “WHO WANTS TO PLAY CORNHOLE?!” 
  • It’s New Years so of course Bitty’s making black eyed peas, collards, cornbread, ham, and a pineapple upside down cake. “It’s for luck.”
  • Bitty will be checking Facebook and be like, “Oh bless his heart.” Chowder notices him fretting over the phone so he asks what’s up “Oh it’s just one of my friend from high school’s dad.” and Chowder, being the precious person that he is, responds with, “Oh no. What happened? Is he ok?” Bitty just shakes his head, “He’s done went and fell out of the deer stand. Again. Broke his arm and bruised his pride. You think he would’ve learned his lesson after the same thing happened last huntin’ season”
  • Jack’s all dressed up in a suit or something, he has a meeting with the Falcs, “What are you all gussied up for?”
  • “Look at what all I got up at the outlet mall!!”
  • Rans/Holster/Bitty share a bathroom so I reckon this has happened at least once: “Neither of y’all go in the bathroom! I’m fixin’ to shower”  to which Holster responds, “What was that Bits? What are you fixing?” Bitty hollers from his room, arm full of clothes, “I’m fixin’ to shower!” Ransom chimes in, “I didn’t know the shower was broken!” At this point Bitty is getting frustrated,“Oh for the love of Pete! You Yankees.” He speaks slowly and pronounces each word carefully, “I am going to go take a shower so please do not go and hog the bathroom.”
  • “So I was talking to Momma and APPARENTLY Mrs. Jones, the one that lives down the road, was rude as all get out.” “Really? What’d she do?” Bitty just throws his hands up, “Momma and Coach were drivin’ back to the house and Mrs. Jones was driving in the opposite direction so of course Momma waves at her. AND SHE DIDN’T WAVE BACK.”
  • I know for a FACT that at some point Bits makes a pitcher of sweet tea, puts it in the fridge, and the boys/Lardo finds it. “What’s this?” “Oh, it’s just some tea. You want some?” So Bitty pours them a glass and approximately 2 seconds later “WHAT IS THIS? IT’S LIKE SYRUP! Bits this isn’t tea! It’s diabetes in a cup!”
  • “Just rub some bacon grease on it.”
  • “Don’t you dare pour that coffee out! I can use it for gravy!”
  • “You know what food I miss? Fried pickles. No, wait, HUSHPUPPIES. I’d kill for some right now.”
50% OFF Starters pt 2
  • "If you continue your attempts at flirting, I will be forced to take DRASTIC measures."
  • "I like watching you from behind."
  • "Stunning deduction sherlock."
  • *demonic voice* "by the darkest sun that casts its menacing rays of the furthest madness, we sense your intentions, (name). the gibbering of mad cultists whisper wicked words to temporal winds, they inform us that you are not to be trusted. Usurper. Usurper."
  • "USURPER!"
  • "I've heard a lot about you and your extensive collection of tank tops, like I'm thinking about getting like 10 more."
  • "Calm down little dude."
  • "the fear of drowning is a primal one. it's a feeling of helplessness, of losing all control. struggling against an inevitable fate as your lungs fill with water..."
  • "I don't need a piece of paper to tell me how to swim or how to fuck Dean Winchester."
  • "You know I had a dream like this once, you surprisingly had more clothes on, though, at least at the start."
  • "ten bucks says he dies."
  • "I'm gonna go run my feelings off."
  • "Yeah it didn't work out... for them."
  • "I have to go scream confusing, end-of-the-world ramblings at people under the freeway."
  • "I feel like I should argue this, but the potential for implied sexual antics is far too appealing."
  • "do not be alarmed! I am about to be hilarious."
  • "Maybe you should stop dragging me to these rap battles then!"
  • "I WANT YOU TO SHARE THE THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO ME!"
  • "I was under the impression there would be implied sexual antics, time to take matters into my own hands!"
  • "This feels a little exploitative."
  • "I need a soda. Or therapy. Probably both."
  • "Yeah it started because K-pop concert security is tougher than it looks but I just got hooked on the feeling of crushing someones face in with a solid right cross."
  • "sHHSHHshhshhhhh shut up shut up! shh I SMELL BOYS BEING GAY."
  • "Excuse me I am trying to scream my feelings into your mouth!"
  • "That wasn't hot... it was just fucking weird..."
  • "It's not what I would have you in, but I do appreciate beauty in all its many forms. mostly that cute booty though."
  • "hey, the heart wants what the heart wants."
  • "It may be hard to believe, but recently I lost the ability to read."
  • "Just because you can't read the words, doesn't mean you can't enjoy the book in a different way."
  • "boom! done. advice over. let's go get shitfaced!"
  • "Alright I brought the bitch-board for (name)."
  • "Alright let's call it what it is, a sissy paddle."
  • "calm down (name) we weren't talking about your internet search history."
  • "MY SWEET BABY SWAM!"
  • "didn't we make a pact to stop her from doing this weeb shit?"
  • "this better not be anymore or (name)'s weird porn!"
  • "Please call the police, because I look so good in this it should be against the law! uh, don't actually call the police though, I WILL incriminate all of you."
  • "Yeah but didn't they train on those islands where all those teenagers were killed? ...and those witch burnings happened? ...and all that toxic waste was spilled?"
  • "if you die, I get fired and I like this job. people don't ask questions here."
  • "fish-men walk among us. conquerers of land, BORN FROM THE OCEAN--"
  • "I don't need him to make weird pornography, I have prawns for that."
  • "Finally moving out, son? I'd like to say it's been fun. I'd like to. But I won't."
  • "hey check me out! I'm on a bout!"
  • "Sit down and stop making 2009 references!"
  • "nah, I scream enough at the unforgiving void of space."
  • "DON'T STEAL MY BONES!"
  • "You know, the ocean goblin? He lives in the ocean and if you don't brush your teeth he steals your bones."
  • "Ok I'm done for the day. If anyone needs me I'm gonna be in the tent looking at weird porn."
  • "Hey, you miss every ball you don't hit."
  • "You say 'you people' like you're not part of the family. I've got some news for you, you're already on the christmas card."
  • "You think these antics would fly at the german club?"
  • "brush your teeth, kid."
  • "Can you hear it? the ocean... it wants blood."
  • "I'm the best damn shot we've got."
  • "You know, when I was a kid, before my dad got hit by that train, he said, '(name) don't let your friends swim out into the ocean and get stranded on the haunted island of camp kill-a-teen.' and here we are... stranded on the... haunted island of camp kill-a-teen..."
  • "that's fair."
  • "hey tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumbass!"
  • "It's fine, baby, if you get scared you can squeeze my hand."
  • "now let's make like scooby-doo and split up to find a clue."
  • "In 1991 a case was discovered where a man had the remains of over fifteen victims hidden in his apartment, over 40% of which were stored within his refrigerator. do you know how unsanitary that is?"
  • "you're so cute when you never shut up. Now shut up."
  • "all hail decision cube!"
  • "that's when you started walking on the wild side, right?"
  • "I AM NOT SOME PETTY CRIMINAL!"
  • "Does anyone want to hear my tragic backstory?"
  • "Bed? But what about possible axe-murderers?"
  • "And we solved the curse of the island, and realized that the real axe murderer was love, all along."
  • "It was a good night for all of us, let's spend more nights in abandoned lighthouses."
  • "That hottie from the track team is here and I wanna ask politely is he wants to get rowdy in the back of my dad's Prius."
  • "YOU CAN'T CATCH ME GAY THOUGHTS"
why wei wuxian is wei wuxian

or, jiang fengmian is a repressed person who projects a lot.

this is a weird, not-quite headcanon, and honestly has more to do with me trying to provide an explanation for the author’s odd choices and getting ahead of myself.

courtesy names (字) are usually given to boys at the age of 15 (known as 束髮之年 in chinese, which literally translates to “age of hair-tying”); but in mdzs, courtesy names don’t seem to follow this rule, especially considering how wei ying (魏嬰) was addressed as “wei wuxian” (魏無羨) or “a-xian” (阿羨) throughout his childhood and teenage years.

the simplest explanation is that the author elected to eschew convention because of artistic license.

but the simple explanations aren’t always the funnest explanations; and i like to consider the doylist perspective when thinking about stories.

currently, i have two interpretations that i favour.

jiang fengmian gave wei ying his courtesy name as a child to signify a brand new identity (i suppose if you want to make a comparison, you could compare it to the moment meng yao became jin guangyao; from a nobody bastard child to not just somebody, but the second heir to the jin sect), to allow him to begin life anew under a name that the head of family personally gave him so as to truly “belong” to lotus pier.

that accounts for why jiang yanli and jiang cheng both call him by his courtesy name, even though they should be familiar enough to address one another by their personal names; as evidenced by how the entire fandom refers to jiang cheng as “jiang cheng” instead of “jiang wanyin”. to wei wuxian, the sage of three poisons will always be jiang cheng, no matter how terrifying or forbidding his demeanour is.

which makes sense, but what about the name “wuxian” (literal translation: no envy, never envious) itself?

we all know that jiang fengmian and yu ziyuan shared an unhappy marriage, and that jiang fengmian resented, or at least disapproved of both yu ziyuan and jiang cheng’s personalities and values, favouring wei ying’s free-spirited heroism over jiang cheng’s dutiful diligence. we also know that the yunmeng jiang sect’s family motto is “achieve the impossible”, and that the jiang sect’s ancestors were adventurous heroes whom travelled across china freely, interfering to protect the weak and needy. and last but not least, we know that wei ying’s parents, who also happen to be jiang fengmian’s servant and rumoured love, ran off together to travel freely and step as heroes whenever necessary.

jiang fengmian’s resentment of yu ziyuan and to a lesser extent, jiang cheng, is slightly more complex than “i was forced into marriage with someone i didn’t love.” jiang fengmian interpreted the jiang sect’s motto very… traditionally, venerating and even idealising the liberty that his ancestors enjoyed (never mind that they most likely settled down for a reason). it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that he envied wei changze and cangsesanren for being able to go off freely, while he had to stay behind at lotus pier because of his duties and obligations as the sect leader. obviously wei changze and cangsesanren didn’t get a happy ending, considering how they both died, but jiang fengmian would have envied their freedom, the fact that they had the autonomy to make their own life choices nonetheless; which is why he clung on to wei ying, the remnant of his lost friends and the lifestyle he so desperately yearned for.

wei ying was his last and only connection to his dead friends, two people whom he both loved and envied, two people whom he shared unequal relationships with. jiang fengmian’s inability to remain true to himself whilst fulfilling his responsibilities as sect leader was what contributed to his unhappy, unfulfilling life; and hence, he bestowed the courtesy name “never envious” upon the only son of his dead friends, in the hopes that wei ying would live a happy and fulfilling life, to compensate for his parents’ untimely deaths and jiang fengmian’s lifelong self-repression.

(we all know how ironic everything turns out to be; history repeats itself, hmm?)

TL;DR jiang fengmian lived his life envying the freedom others enjoyed; he wanted the boy he chose to bring into his family to never experience that pain.

(also slightly-unrelated sidenote, but i think that jiang fengmian’s disapproval of jiang cheng doesn’t just have to do with jiang cheng’s personality, or the fact that jiang cheng is yu ziyuan’s son. there’s more of jiang fengmian than he’d like acknowledge; both of them chose obligation and filial piety over following their hearts - in this way, they both went against the jiang sect’s motto of "achieving the impossible”, choosing to surrender to reality and pragmatism. jiang fengmian doesn’t like to look at jiang cheng, because he sees what he perceives as his own “lack of courage” (quotation marks because i disagree; jiang cheng is one of the gutsiest characters in the whole damn story) reflected in his son and heir.)

Hamilton  songs explained by my friend
  • Alexander Hamilton: "did they just rhyme father with father and farther?"
  • Aaron Burr, Sir: "this antisocial man is so done with this overeager puppy and this random ass boyband"
  • My Shot: the overeager puppy joins the boyband. somehow becomes the front man of the band. they gain lots of fans.
  • The Story of Tonight: The boyband covers a song from les mis???
  • The Schuyler Sisters: WHERES YOUR GOD NOW @ boyband.
  • Farmer Refuted: boyband has a hater. Front man puppy roasts hater before he can he even start to talk.
  • You'll be back: to be sung draped over a piano with with champagne fake crying into a handkerchief
  • Right Hand Man: "there's a moment you know... you're fucked. aND THATS RN PEOPLE I SWEAR TO GOD.
  • A Winters Ball: "20 year old males who drink are gross and do gross 20 year old drunk male things"
  • Helpless: "this could be the start of something new it feels so right being here with you"
  • Satisfied: "I've done fucked up"
  • The Story of Tonight reprise: the boyband gets drunk and harass the antisocial man (again)
  • wait for it: the song that could get away with going on the radio
  • Stay Alive: tfw ur dad doesn't trust you to lead an army #relatable
  • Ten Duel Commandments: "Revolutionary men have fragile pride and I don't know why they were trusted with guns"
  • Meet Me Inside: "the puppy gets fired because he got mad that his father figure acknowledges the fact that he's a father figure"
  • That Would Be Enough: "you're not even a father figure you're a legit father"
  • Guns and Ships: "surprise bitch, tis I le baguette here to win the war"
  • history has it's eyes on you: I fucked up once. and now it's your turn to.
  • Yorktown (the world turned upside down): surprise BITch (part 2) herCULES MULLIGAN-
  • What comes next?: I'm petty as shit.
  • Dear Theodosia: "Burr imma let you finish but, loOk AT MY SON
  • Non-Stop: the puppy and boyband have been separated since the war so the puppy decides to go into law then government
  • What'd I miss: the war??? wtf???
  • Cabinet Battle #1: "I know more than you" -Ron Swanson
  • Take A Break: use your fucking commas and don't use child actors to play your children
  • Say No to This: ... you are singing the word "no" you should be able to say it
  • The Room Where it Happens: the banjo turn up of the century
  • Schuyler Defeated: antisocial man and the puppy have a falling out
  • Cabinet Battle #2: (sips tea) (slowly puts it down and turns)..... you must be out of yoUR GODDAMN MIND IF YOU THINK-
  • Washington on your side: I am ready to throw punches
  • One Last Time: I'm tired... I think I'm gonna go home now.
  • I Know Him: The John Adams Roast begins
  • The Adams Administration: The Roast continues
  • We Know: well fuck,we actually didn't know
  • Hurricane: I will roast myself and save everyone else the trouble of doing it.
  • The Reynolds Pamphlet: "YOU MUsT BE OUT OF YOUR GOD DAMN MIND" -Angelica, and literally the whole cast
  • Burn: I have no words, only tears.
  • Blow us all away: you thought it would be okay... you were wrong.
  • Stay Alive (reprise): tears intensify
  • It's Quiet Uptown: full fledged sobbing 2 minutes into the song
  • The Election of 1800: ham and jefferson roast burr to the point of no return
  • Your Obedient Servant: the slightly bitchy passive aggressive anthem
  • Best Of Wives, Best of Women: a single tear because we all know what's gonna happen next
  • The World Was Wide Enough: "most disputes die and no one shoots" is the biggest goddamn lie in the show
  • Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story: hello death I welcome thee.

anonymous asked:

Can you write one where Harry tries to make a move on a girl, but he didn't realize she's Fionn girlfriend... then Fionn comes by and it gets awkwarrrrrrdd ❤️

He was mesmerized to say the least once you entered before he lost you in the crowd.
It was a cocktail party for the Dunkirk cast and those close to them; so when he realized that he hadn’t seen you before one set, he knew you were linked to one of the cast.

You had your hair down, a navy cocktail dress making your skin glow.
He searched through the crowd, eyes darting from one girl to another.

Then he saw you; standing with the sound tech and the supervisor set decorator, laughing about something and he felt hooked. You held a glass of white wine in your hand while the other held a beige clutch, taking a sip and nodding every once in a while, watching your lips as they moved. Your lips caught Harry’s attention and soon, he was imagining scenarios of your lips locking.

He had to talk to you. He knew that. He couldn’t let the night end without at least talking to you.

“Hey, Harry,” He heard someone call for him, making him stop as he was walking towards you and look at the person, seeing Fionn with a glass of wine that matched your own. “Lost you in the crowd. Wait, I have someone I want you to meet.” Fionn held his free hand out before raising a finger as to say “One second”.

Harry sighed before his eyes widened when he saw Fionn walk to you, putting his hands on your waist as you and him exchanged smiles.

‘He’s playing matchmaker? But does he know I had my eyes on her?’ Harry thought.

He straightened his posture once he saw you and Fionn coming, eyes fixed on you as his smile matched yours.

“Y/N, this is Harry,” Fionn gestured.

“Hi, it’s nice to finally see you. Fionn here might have a little crush on you.” You giggled, offering your hand for a handshake.

Harry and Fionn laughed as Harry shook your hand, swearing by how soft your hand was.

“Stop saying that!” Fionn groaned as he laughed, bumping your hip with his. “Anyway,” He shook his head before glancing at Harry’s hold on your hand, clearing his throat, “Harry, this is Y/N, my girlfriend.”

Harry’s stomach turned upside down, suddenly feeling hot. He dropped you hand gently, nodding reluctantly.
Of course you were the Y/N that Fionn always talked about on set. How could he forget?

You watched Fionn and Harry as they stayed silent for moments, awkwardness kicking you in the throat. “I’m going to go back to them, they were just telling me about some cool things they did on set,” You pointed back.

“Harry, it was great meeting you. Maybe us 3 could have brunch together some time?” You suggested with a polite smile.

Harry’s hand was on his hip, nodding unsurely, “Yeah, yeah, definitely uh, of course.” He stuttered, releasing a quiet “fuck!” to himself.

“Come when you’re done, yeah?” You turned to Fionn who nodded at you with a smile, glancing at your lips before you both locked lips quickly, him watching you as you walked away.

“You had the hots to my girlfriend, didn’t you?” Fionn asked, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Uh,” Harry’s eyes avoided Fionn for a moment, looking everywhere before he looked at him, scratching his jaw, “I mean,”

Fionn nodded, taking a deep breath in. “You’re not the first one. Caught Tom staring at her until I kissed her.”

Harry grimaced, “I’m sorry, mate. I didn’t know. All yours, nothing for me to do.” He held his hands up defensively.

Fionn nodded, “Yeah, yeah,” He ran a hand over his head, “I’m going to see her now.”

Harry held his arm out, gesturing towards you, giving him a quick nod.

Fionn turned to walk away before turning back to Harry, “About that brunch idea Y/N suggested, I say we wait till you find yourself a woman.”

“Yeah, definitely.” Harry gave him thumbs up, trying not to let his eyes go to you.

Fionn nodded before walking away.

“Fucking shit, man.” Harry whispered to himself, walking to the bar.

••

I’m actually laughing at this.

ruffaled  asked:

OK ok here's a prompt for u. It's 3:15 a.m. and Rhodey jerks awake to find a pair of eyes staring at him. Turning on the bedside lamp, he sees it's Tony, in his usual oil-stained black tank top, and looking a little manic. He shifts closer so that his face is just inches away from Rhodey's, and he says, softly, "Mitochondria is the Powerhouse of the Cell."

Rhodey’s been asleep for about two hours when he starts to stir, his senses tingling and telling him that he’s no longer alone in his room, that someone’s watching him. A huge part of him wants to ignore it, go back to sleep. He has an exam in the morning and he really needs to be well rested for it after cramming all night, but the longer he stays still, the louder the voice in the back of his head gets, yelling at him to stop being an idiot and be more alert.

Taking a deep breath and gearing himself up for the cold draft in his room, Rhodey whips his blanket off and sits up, looking around the dark to see who’s the asshole that snuck into his dorm this late at night.

There, on his left, he sees a manic pair of eyes and the fuzzy outline of a person sitting unnaturally still by the bed. Rhodey turns on the lamp and sees his best friend, in his usual lab uniform of oil-stained tank top and tattered sweatpants, staring at him like a man possessed.

“Jesus Christ, Tony. You scared the shit out of me,” Rhodey says. “What are you doing here? It’s 3 in the morning, dude.”

Tony doesn’t give any indication of having heard Rhodey. He stays sitting there, in the dorm’s uncomfortable leather desk chair, unmoving, barely even blinking, and Rhodey starts to worry.

“Tony?” Rhodey waves his hand in front of Tony’s face. “Hey. You okay?”

Still no reaction.

“Shit, Tony, you’re really freaking me out here. Do I need to call student health services or something?”

Suddenly, Tony gives a full body shudder and seems to snap out of whatever trance he was in. He shifts forward until his face is a few inches from Rhodey’s and says, softly, “Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.”

“…what the hell?” Rhodey whispers, bewildered. “Okay, thanks for the bio lesson, I guess? Tony, when’s the last time you slept?”

It takes Tony a few moments to respond. “I…don’t know? Two days ago, maybe.”

Rhodey sighs. “Alright. You need to get some sleep, but I’m not letting you walk all the way back to your dorm this late at night.” He shifts over and pats the bed. “Come on.”

Tony ignores Rhodey completely and instead leans even further forward now that there’s more space between them. He pokes Rhodey’s shoulder and says, “Mitonchondria. That’s you.”

“Uh, no. I’m James. James Rhodes, college junior, prospective Airman, human being. Not an organelle.” Rhodey rolls his eyes and grabs Tony’s arm, pulling until he tips over onto the bed. He drapes the blanket over the both of them and closes his eyes. “Now please. Go to sleep.”

Rhodey feels as Tony shifts around for a little while before getting settled into a comfortable position. He’s just about to drift off when Tony speaks again.

“Hey, Rhodey?”

“Hm.”

“What I said just now…I meant, you’re my mitochondria.”

“Hm?”

“I just–” Tony blows a breath out. “I’m just saying. I don’t know how I would have survived college if I hadn’t met you. Knowing that you’re here for me gets me through even the worst of days.” He burrows closer to Rhodey and says, “I’m glad I have you.”

Rhodey lets out a sleepy chuckle and drapes an arm over Tony’s waist to pull him closer. “I’m glad I have you too, Tones. But please, please, I’m begging you, for the love of god, let us get some sleep, and I’ll take you out for dinner after my exam tomorrow, okay?”

Tony laughs and presses a light kiss to Rhodey’s forehead. “Yeah, okay. Good night, Jimbo.”

“Night, Starkster.”

ziloufs  asked:

Sue Perkins is such a great interviewer!! and dan and phil are a lot more well-spoken and competent than I tend to give them credit for. It was actually really interesting to hear Phil speak some of his own thoughts and opinions, (and finally acknowledging his age !!!!) but also passing off a question or two to dan if he didn't feel "comfortable" answering it. (I can't exactly remember which one)

@akinatorphan said: how do you feel about phil expressing his opinions? i just think he moves away from discussing some controversial topics publicly. for example when they were talking to sue perkins at that one part he started to speak but stopped and let dan take the lead. 

yeahhhh i’m glad you both brought up phil in this panel! it was fascinating to watch him speak with so much confidence during it. i think this is one of the most ‘balanced’ interview-type things they’ve done in a long time, with respect to an even divide between both of them of questions answered. phil actually gave some of the more interesting answers to me, including his discussion of his early days on the platform, the decision to commit to youtube as a job, his criticisms of the geoblocking that companies like the bbc employ, his openness about wanting to maintain a PG channel, his views on dapg and the monetization of their channels, his ideas about traditional media companies hosting more global events, etc. so i do think he expressed a lot of opinions in this, honestly more than i’m used to hearing from him in this sort of setting, and i loved how confident and poised he came across when he was speaking, as well as the chance to hear more of that deeper, natural voice of his (uh, that’s superficial but whatever i’m human and his voice is .. nice to listen to.) 

i think the one question i can think of that may have been ‘controversial’ that he passed of to dan was when sue asked them about dealing with ‘snobbery’ from tv people. he starts to answer and then asks dan to take it for him. it’s a kind of amazing little moment. to me this just evoked the trouble phil has confessed to (and dan has also reiterated multiple times) with asserting himself in a confrontational way. i don’t think it’s controversy itself that bothers him or the expression of opinions (at least in this setting when it’s just about professional shit that is objectively kind of low stakes), but just that his specific brand of anxiety seems to center around making sure he’s making other people happy. that includes a struggle with expressing himself completely candidly if it means criticizing or checking other people’s behaviors. this is a dude that would let a personal trainer push him to the point of vomiting without saying a single word in his own defense. someone who feels socially responsible for a rude stranger in a movie theater disrupting other people’s viewing experiences. he’s even talked about being afraid to call the doctor to make appointments because he has some anxiety about wasting the doctor’s time. on the flip side dan has frequently talked about how he feels phil should be more assertive. he took a phone call on phil’s behalf when phil burned his mouth on pizza and wanted to file a complaint to the restaurant. he was all set to call up the gym and yell at someone for endangering phil’s health after phil had specified what he needed from a trainer. if people are sitting in their pre-ordered seats in a movie theater dan has no problem asking them to move. 

what i’m getting at is that dan has always come across as more comfortable with defending himself (and phil by extension) even if it necessitates adopting a more confrontational attitude. in this case, he still didn’t really say anything too incisive or hostile regarding tv people but he was quite open about the frustrating bureaucracy of traditional media, and that might not be something phil would’ve been super comfortable with asserting. i think what’s rly lovely here, though, is the way that he is comfortable letting dan speak for both of them in those few instances where he doesn’t want to say something himself, and at the same time we’ve seen instances where dan’s instinct is to be a bit more aggressive and he actually defers to phil to give a more measured and temperate assessment of the situation (the most recent example i like to go back to was after dapgoose LA, the sound guy fucked up dan’s mic and dan wanted to talk about it in the joint live show they did that week but he asks phil’s permission first and then lets phil actually tell the story in a way that was kinder to the sound tech guy than dan probably would’ve been.) it’s really nice to continue to see examples of how deep their partnership runs, their complete trust in each other, and their implicit understanding of each others’ strengths and weaknesses, and all of that plays into the ease with which they can trade off taking the lead on things depending on what any given situation calls for. 

loreenya  asked:

Suppose the guys have been drinking with their crush. How would a drunken confession of their feelings look like? And how would they react the next day, when their crush confronts them with their confession? (Let's say, she was happy about it, but scared they didn't mean it)

Leo:

Originally posted by likeag69


- He’d be a surprisingly upbeat drunk. After winning a game of shots with Mikey, he’ll spring haphazardly from the chair and pull her with him, requesting they go topside to find a dance club.

- When she politely reclines, he argues, “But I feel like I could do anything! Be anything!”

- She simply smiles, happy to know that the heroic worry and despair had left him, at least for one night.

- He thinks for a moment, deciding the two of them will just dance there, in the living room

- At first she’s giggling with him, playing along with him… until he says, “yeah, I feel like I could do ANYTHING…”

- and plants a big kiss on her lips

- it’s not very pretty and not very graceful

- he’s holding onto her with an iron grip so all she can do is stand there and try to kiss him back

- the sloppiness doesn’t stop her feeling euphoria

- he finally pulls back with a dopey grin, murmuring “You’re the most beautifulest girl in the world… I love you.”

- and she stands in shock, simply watching while he sways back and forth and thuds to the floor, snoring

- the next morning, Leo wakes on the couch with an impressive headache and a bruised tailbone. He’s happy to see you watching over him… until he sees your sleepless eyes and worried face

- “Oh God, what happened last night?” he whimpered, sitting up and wincing when his muscles screamed in protest.

- “Nothing…bad. I think you said a bunch of things you didn’t believe.”

- Memories of the night before come rushing back, and maybe it’s the lingering alcohol in his system, but he finds the wherewithal to say, “Last night WAS crazy… and I WAS acting foolish, but… that last thing I said… I did mean…”

- She looks up at him with shocked happiness, laughing breathlessly when he adds, “And I’m hoping my memories are accurate, because, far as I remember, the last thing I said was I love you.”

Raph:

Originally posted by shameless-usa


- Drinks enhance his soft side. He drinks to calm down, and gets drunk to forget about his ridiculous expectations of himself, let loose.

- that’s why he’ll only get roaring drunk in private.

- only other person that’s seen him THIS buzzed is her.

- “You’re the best,” he slurs, leaning against her while she nurses her own beer. “I love you.”

- “Yeah, yeah, Romeo, save it for the next chick flick. You’re drunk off your rocker,” she says without missing a beat.

- he’s done this before, confessing feelings she’s sure he could never have for her.

- “I’m serious (Y/ N), I do.” He sat up, peeved that she wasn’t understanding his point. “Y-you’re a banging’ girl, you know? Got everything. Nice eyes, perfect body…”

- She starts to blush profusely at the words he’d never say to her sober.

- “Kind, strong, angry.” He chuckles, his eyelids fluttering a little. “Got more of a temper than me! And ya don’t put up with my shit. And let’s be honest…” He took another long swig from the bottle. “I got a lot of shit going on up in here.”

- “I think it’s time you hit the slack, slugger.” She pushes him back onto his bed sheets, watching him curl into the blankets.

- “Pretty hair, perfect body…” he rambles, already beginning to doze, managing out, “Just wish you’d love me back in the morning.”

- The next day, Raph awakens groggily, trudging out of the room and freezing when he sees her.

- He remembers some of the night before, in his room. (hates drinking in his room, since his immense feelings might cause him to do things he’ll definitely regret in the morning)

- “So… what happened last night?” He asks, trying to play it cool.

- She’s drinking a mimosa, the smell of champagne and orange juice wafting into his nose (she’s trying to take the edge off her complicated feelings too)

- “Same thing as always. You tell me you’re bonkers for me, I take your drunk ass to bed.”

- He can hear the subtle heartbreak in her voice. All he can manage is a halfhearted chuckle.

- he’s watching her out of the corner of his eye, seeing the tears at his nonchalant chuckle.

- and all of a sudden, he’s leaning forward, turning her abruptly and knocking the mimosa aside to kiss her.

- he probably tastes of morning breath and beer cans to her, and he could most certainly use a shower.

- the kiss is short, just enough to reassure her that he meant it, that he did love her and that nothing he’d said last night had been a lie.

- and despite the briefness, she’s gasping for air by the time he pulls away from her.

- “So…” he started awkwardly, trying his hand at romance and stroking her cheek. “It’s morning. Do you love me back?”

Donnie:

Originally posted by myopendoorss


- this guy is an unlikely flirt. Turns into the ultimate ladies man. A practical Ryan Gosling from that one movie, Crazy, Stupid Love (go watch it, it’s great)

- but the stupid genius prefers to drink alone, so he never gets to work his magic. until now

- (Y/ N) had just walked into his lab, looking for some quality-time with her long-time friend (and big-time crush)

- the door slams behind her, and she whirls to face a smirking Donnie

- “Hello, Gorgeous~” He makes no effort to hide his gaze as it travels up and down her body

- she, ever the forward thinker, scans the room and finds the two empty wine bottles, knowing instantly what’s happened

- “Don, you’re drunk,” she explains quietly, ignoring the enormous blush on her cheeks as she gently pushes him away

- “Drunk on you,” he churrs, grabbing her hands and pulling her toward him. “That ass is making me all kinds of inebriated.”

- his hands slide dangerously close to her posterior, but she abruptly slides them back up. “Don’t forget that chivalry I love. No touching.”

- “Where’s the fun in that?” He whispered, suddenly sweeping her up in his arms. “If you love my manners, you’ll love me even more when I let the decorum slide.”

- his lips find hers before she complains, and she (reluctantly) gives in to her desires, letting him ravage her mouth and slide his hands over her body.

- even in this dominant mode, his kisses had a bit of added sweetness that she  adored. her arms wrap around his neck and play with his mask tails, encouraging his next move.

- she’s thrown back, and she gasps, until she hits a mattress. shit, he’d taken her to the bedroom while that was happening?

- he climbs atop her, and suddenly she realizes this is going too far, too fast. Her hands grip his wrists as he plies her lips open with his again

- “Donnie, enough,” she cries frantically around the kiss, shoving him back and knocking out of his lust-fueled trance.

- “You don’t want this?” “No.”

- “You don’t want me?” “I do. I… Donnie, I love you,” she whines helplessly, knowing he won’t remember a thing in the morning.

- “Then just stay.” He pulls her down with him, his impressive weight pinning her against him. “Don’t sleep with me. Just keep me company.”

- The next morning, Donatello blinks awake, yawning and snuggling closer to the angel in his arms–

- THE ANGEL IN HIS ARMS?!
- he yelps, falling off the bed and jarring you from sleep. Never mind you have all your clothes on and you seem pretty content, he’s terrified he raped you

- “I – what have I – oh s-shit, I – no, I’m so sorry – I can’t believe – please tell me it wasn’t–”

- “Donnie!” she tries to placate him, reminding of her words with an unlikely bout of courage, “Nothing happened. I love you. It’s okay. Nothing happened.”

- he passes out from shock at your words.

Mikey:

Originally posted by sensualkisses


- Mikey boi won the drinking contest with Leo.

- but he was definitely not the most graceful winner

- “I can’t believe I won,” he sobbed into her shoulder, holding tight to her

- “I can’t believe you took eleven shots of vodka.”

- “I’m a mess. A lowly, blubbery mess.” He sobs into her neck.

- “No Mikey, you’re amazing. Cute, spunky, handsome…”

- “You… think I’m handsome?” he whimpered, looking up with tear-stained eyes at her.

- “ ‘Course I do. Who wouldn’t?” she hugged him awkwardly, wishing he’d take her words seriously.

- “You… you’re lying!” He accused, falling back into hysterics, leaning his head on the table and crying louder.

- “Of course not, Mikey!”

- “You are!” his bottom lip trembled. “How can a pretty girl like you possibly love me back?”

- Love him… back?!

- “Mikey, you’re not thinking straight, I–”
- “I’m fine! It’s YOU who’s not thinking straight!” he wailed. “Telling me I’m cute… well I’m not! I’m ugly, and weird, and–”

- he’s cut off by her lips, crashing against his and stopping his crying

-she’s sweet, pouring every lovely emotion for him into the kiss.

- he’s crying tears of joy by the time she pulls back and says, “I love you too.”

-next morning, he finds himself on the floor next to the table, his head in her lap, her fingers stroking his arm comfortingly.

- “Did you get the number of that bus?” he groans.

- “Got the license plate and registration,” she jokes, leaning down and kissing his cheek.

- “Good. We’ll call the agency in the morning.” He snuggles into her, knowing all too well the confessions that occurred the right before, relishing her loving smile.

- “It’s already ten o’clock, Mike.”

- “…then we’ll call them this afternoon. Love you, good night.”

- she giggles softly as she dozes back off in her lap, leaning down to press another lazy kiss to his lips. “Love you too.”

4

In This World
And The Next
And All The Ones Before

1•

“Why did you come here?” Nesta asked as he placed his head in her lap. There were a million other places he could’ve gone. Either of his brother’s, his best friend who thought she was stuck-up… And yet, he showed up at her door past midnight with a request.

“Hold me,” he had asked her, leading her to the couch he had once made fun of for being purely decorative and unreasonably stiff. He was stone cold sober, she could tell, and wasn’t sure whether to be surprised or concerned that that couldn’t be his excuse to have appeared at such an ungodly hour. Especially after not hearing from him for over a week.

“I couldn’t stay away,” he murmured. “I know you don’t mind.” He boldly and correctly assumed, then noted, “You’re wearing my shirt.” The one he had dropped off at her office when she felt like she was suffocating in her tight blouse. It was his favorite shirt, but he thought it looked better on her anyway.

“So what if I am?” She was wearing the watch he had given her, too. It was nothing too fancy, but he had grown tired of her losing track of time and using “no watch” as an excuse when she showed up late to dinner and apologized with a kiss. He never minded the apology kisses, though.

“And you’re about to run your fingers through my hair because I’m so irresistible to you.” He teased, but she could hear the exhaustion that coated his already husky voice.

Cassian had found her and it took a lot of courage and pride-swallowing to do it. No one ever cared enough to do that for her. No one.

Tentatively, Nesta placed her hand on his back as he made himself at home on her thighs.

2•

Nesta ran her fingers through his thick ebony locks. Though still long, he had cut it since she saw him last. As though he had freshened up just for her.

Again, she felt like utter shit for yelling at him, saying that he was both scared or incapable of change of any kind. She didn’t want him to change. Not his personality, not his appearance, not his life, not his friends nor his job. Cassian was the best thing she ever had.

She thought herself a hypocrite… Cassian had come into her life- or more accurately she into his- And what? Showed her what honor was? Reminded her of how suffocating her life in the town is? How much potential she has in life…and love? He shook her, woke her up.

Cassian was an old soul, but it was Nesta who truly didn’t like change.

In her experience, change was bad. Change meant her mother dying. Change meant her father losing their money before joining her mother in death. Change meant her baby sister resenting her and fighting with her.

Change…

Change with Cassian meant warmth…unconditional warmth. This was unfamiliar territory.

“What are you doing awake?” He relaxed his body, nearly purring at the affection she was giving him. “Your lights were on.”

She didn’t want to lie. She didn’t want to snap. Not when she had shown that he could be vulnerable with her- in his way. “I missed you.” Truth, as she had barely slept since their fight. “I was writing about it.”

“About me?” His belly rumbled with a laugh for a moment. He quickly became serious, not wanting to ruin the moment. “I missed you too, Nes. I drive past here every day when I take the logs to town… I park at the end of your drive before convincing myself that you don’t want to see me.”

3•

Nesta’s hand slid down his back as she leaned down to kiss his shoulder and inhale the pine scent she had so desperately missed. “I did want to see you,” she whispered. “I always want to see you. Even when I’m mad. Even when I’m sad. Especially then.”

“I’ll keep that in mind next time I lose my patience and let you walk out the door.” He meant it. She knew he meant it. In a small voice he asked, “Can we be okay now, Nes?”

In an equally quiet voice she whispered, “I’d like that.” More than anything she wanted him, wanted them. Wanted their present and future.

4•

It only felt natural when Nesta folded herself onto him, covering his body with her own. As if they had done it in a million worlds before, and she hoped they would in the next million.

Silently, she thought of why and how she had fallen in love with him…

He challenged her, though was never condescending. And he let her challenge him without running away scared. People always thought she was a bitch…maybe she was… But he would ride out a conversation with her till the very end.

When they first met, they thought they could hardly stand one another. She secretly liked that he didn't​ treat her like glass. Like she was worth the breath it took to volley an argument or discussion. No matter how angry, he always listened to her, always saw her.

On the anniversary of her broken engagement and one of the worst nights of her life, she had gone out alone and got utterly shitfaced and was unable to reach a cab service.
She didn’t want Feyre to know or Elain to be worried, and she didn’t have much in the way of friends, so she called him. The person whose opinion she thought she didn’t care for…
Staggering out of the bar, he picked her up and carried her to his truck. Didn’t even complain when they pulled over twice so she could vomit.
That was the first night he stayed over. He got the vomit out of her hair and braided it back before tucking her into bed. He slept on the sofa and left her an omelette and smoothie in the fridge before sneaking out, writing her a note with his home number to call in case she needed or wanted a decent drinking buddy, and that she wouldn’t have to go to some dive that scared even him.

On their first date, he held his hand out for her to take. “In case you get nervous,” he said as she interlaced her fingers with his. “You can hold onto me and hide your face in my chest, too if you get scared.” She did get scared, but he didn’t push it. Though he didn’t have the decency to hide his smug grin when she yelped and clutched his bicep during the big jump-scare scene.
She surprised him by later admitting, “I knew I was safe the whole time.”
He raised an eyebrow, “Because of me? I’m flattered, sweetheart.”
“Because of me, actually.“ She played with the buttons of her coat. “Rules of horror.”
He stopped in his tracks and folded his arms. “I’m not following.”
She felt safe with him, and wanted to let him in. But she wasn't​ used to being vulnerable, so she closed her eyes when she uttered, “I’m a virgin.”
Eyes still closed, Nesta heard Cassian’s soft intake of breath before she felt him.
He put his hands on her shoulders and whispered, “That’s okay.” She opened her eyes and couldn’t stop herself from hugging him. The smug bastard, ex-fighter, lumberjack with a heart of gold. He assured her that there was no shame in her sexual status. “Promise to shield me? I’m definitely not a virgin and I’m not white, so my life expectancy is fucking abysmal. Plus, I probably make too many jokes.“ He shrugged. “I’d outlive Rhys, though, which is a consolation…”
She laughed at him. He made her laugh. She never laughed before him. Not like this, not genuinely.

He made her laugh harder than she ever had before when he karaoked, “I’m the Only One,” by Melissa Etheridge to cheer her up after a long work week. His shamelessness and big heart were the most attractive qualities about this ruggedly handsome man.

When all the trees had been sold because she waited last minute, she went home to find him waiting at her door with the most beautiful Christmas tree she had ever seen in her life. He helped her put the star on top and made his famous eggnog while she baked the only thing she knew how: chocolate gingerbread cookies.

When she needed to talk, he would drive. Even in the middle of the night. Driving until she was ready to open up.
One night he drove to the cliffs just outside of town and they got out. Sobbing and slamming her fists at his chest, she recounted something she never told anyone.
She and Elain had been kidnapped. They had been saved, but not after they had nearly drowned.
A year later, he found them again. Elain stabbed him on sight. Nesta, not wanting her sister to have blood on her hands, finished the job so he could never hurt them or anyone else again.
Screaming in anguish, he held her close. Reminding her that nothing could harm her here, with him. She asked if he was scared of her and he told her he wasn’t, he never could be. He took her hand and placed it on his heart, vowing to protect her and those she loves until his heart stopped beating.
She kissed him that night and she hadn’t been able to stop since.

They took it fast. They took it slow.
She knew he wanted to have sex with her from the first moment they had been introduced. Cassian was passionate, and he let that passion flow into any aspect of their relationship that he could.
For her birthday, he had half-jokingly offered to go down on her. She dragged him away from the party and to his room, telling him that they could both give birthday spankings… They did. Cassian thoroughly enjoyed getting spanked by his birthday girl.
When she lifted her skirt up and removed her underwear she hoped he wouldn’t notice the few and small opalescent marks above her knee, on her inner thigh. But he did. Of course he did. He noticed everything.
“That’s what happens when your adolescent growth spurt mercilessly hits you like a ton of bricks,” she said as he used the tip of his fingers to graze the slight dips in her otherwise perfect skin.
He tried and failed to imagine a time in which Nesta was gangly or awkward, so he pressed his lips on each of the marks before hitching her legs over his shoulders.
And he went down on her. Making sure she was comfortable before he quickly darted his tongue on her bundle of nerves. It was amazing, and she wanted more. So he gave her more. Inserting two fingers and massaging her insides slowly, dragging the tips along the ceiling of her temple.
When he finished her off, she moaned his name and nearly ripped his hair out.
Before rejoining the party, he held her until she stopped shaking. Whispering phrases in Spanish that she didn’t find out the meaning of until much later…
“Eso fue hermoso. Eres hermosa…”
“Eres incluso más dulce de lo que imaginé. Como la miel…”
“Si me lo pidieras, enviaría a todos a casa y te lamería toda la noche.”

Sighing aloud, she continued reminiscing on the reasons she loved him, then and now. Right now it was because he was warming her heart and body with his own.

Unbeknownst to Nesta, Cassian was also thinking of the reasons why he loved her, why he couldn’t stay away.

Nesta was as tenacious as she was magnificent. Quick witted and scrappy. He knew many fantastic women, but Nesta was on a completely different level.

He could be all of the sides of himself with her. It terrified him, to be like an exposed nerve, but he knew Nesta would settle for no less and would not open up otherwise. Nor should she, after all she had been put through in her life. He could be happy with her. He could let his weaknesses be known. He could talk with her when he needed to, or be quiet and contemplative.

He talked about his childhood. His early childhood. He said he was likely “smuggled over the border with bricks of cocaine” and tossed away. Rhys’s mother fostered him, though he didn’t make it easy on them, and then legally adopted him. A few years later, Azriel showed up and everything changed. He never forgot the kindness and generosity she showed him. He mourned her and Rhys’s sister every day and never again wanted to take for granted any good thing that came into his life.
He counted Nesta on the list of good things.

When he hugged her, even in public, she would let him hold her for as long as he wanted. What a sight they must be, he thought, the prim postured princess and the grass stained flannel and bomber jacket clad behemoth with permanently dirt crusted boots.
Goodie Two-Shoes and The Filthy Beast.

He thought about the time he helped her move out of her shithole and into this new place…

He found a box of old CD’s. He couldn’t help himself pulling out a worn copy of “From Under the Cork Tree” and waving it in her face, her eyes bulging.
“Those are a friend’s.” Nesta flinched at her transparent lie. “I don’t even know how they ended up here.”
“Hmm..” Cassian tapped the CD case and bellowed off-key, “CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES! THIS IS MY-”
He was cut off by Nesta screeching and fighting to cover his mouth. “THAT SONG ISN’T EVEN BY THEM, YOU UNCULTURED MOUNTAIN MAN!”
Throwing his head back, he howled with laughter as she crossed her arms and asked, “So, Mr. Rompe Will Be My Wedding Song, how do you even know this music?”
“Well, Miss Season Six Buffy Was My Aesthetic,” his eyes gleamed with amusement. “Little sunshine Amren went through an emo phase in her youth as well.” Nesta wasn’t terribly surprised at all by that reveal, but bit her cheek to keep from smiling.
“Do you have mix CDs? What was your profile song? I know you had one.” This was just too good to be true. His mind reeled as he gave a lopsided grin.
“Yes and get over it. I’ll never tell.” Nesta surprised him. She was constantly surprising him. He loved that. He loved her.
He looked at her in a way in which his hazel eyes said, “I love you. I am so in love with you. I am yours and you are mine, and we both know it.” Tilting her chin up with his forefinger and thumb, he kissed her. Slow and steady, but sinking into her completely.
They had passionately kissed before, they had hungrily made out whilst groping each other. When she had gotten comfortable enough, she asked to see his cock that she had raised and made throb. With her permission, he guided her soft hand to it. Experimentally, she pumped it once…twice…It was her first time and she wanted to do it properly for him, so he instructed her through the beginnings…“Lick your thumb and rub it on the tip…FUCK!…Good girl…Tighter!…That’s it…” He hadn’t expected her to finish him and definitely didn’t expect it when she didn’t pull her hand away in disgust as he spilled onto his jeans.
This sort of kissing, the kind they did right there in her emptied house she was soon to be free of, a different kind of electricity sparked when their tongues danced and she pulled herself closer to him by reaching under his shirt to his warm back and fisting the collar of his paint splattered t-shirt.
Toying with the waistband of her skirt for a moment, he proceeded to squeeze her ass with his permanently calloused hands.
They both moaned into each other’s mouths before Nesta broke away. Wiping her mouth and fixing her shirt so that it wasn’t so obvious as to how erect her nipples were, she said, “So are you going to help me move these boxes, or are those tree trunk thick arms of yours just for show?”
Cassian wanted so badly to pick up the bait, but he didn’t. “Sweetheart, I could load all these boxes up within five minutes and still have the strength and stamina to carry you to the truck. Then unload everything without breaking a sweat.“
Though he did accomplish the tasks within the time limits he set for himself, he did break a sweat. Not that Nesta minded.
After unloading the last of the boxes, Nesta led him to the mattress that she had yet to find a frame or box spring for, and slowly removed all her clothing. Then she removed his, kissing each of his tattoos as they became uncovered. Taking his hands in her own with complete trust in her eyes, she laid them down on the bed together.
That night, they christened her new home. It was her first time and she loved that it was with him. He felt honored to be the one she chose. As cliche as it was, they exchanged “I love you’s” before, during, and after.

Nesta had trusted him that night. And again she put her trust in him tonight. One of the many things he loved about her.

Their relationship was constantly evolving and he wanted it to evolve again, so he took a chance. “Move in with me, Nes.”

Not a second later, she responded. “Yes.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“Take me to bed soon?”

“Yes.”

“Love me?”

Again, she kissed his shoulder blade- his “wings”- and assured him, “In this world and the next, sweetheart. And all the ones before.”

anonymous asked:

Scenario about Bakusquad make a bet with bakugou if he can make the girl fall in love with him. Bakugou and his new girlfriend actually got along. Bakugou didn't plan to fall in love with her and getting so deep in the relationship. His girlfriend woke up early to get something to eat and overhears the bakusquad talking about the bet. How would Bakugou react for her to finding out? Angst ending please~

Oh, boy, angsty request? Yes, please. 《Part Two》 《Part Three


It had started as a bet, though it wasn’t just a bet anymore. He had just wanted his friends to shut up. He was the only one of them that didn’t have a significant other, the bet was that because he was such an aggressive, disagreeable person, he couldn’t make someone fall in love with him. He’d accepted the bet, he was going to make someone fall in love with him, one girl in particular that his friends had decided on. She was alright, he had thought, there were worse people to get stuck with, even for a stupid bet. This was fine. He could do it.

And, he did. While in the process of trying to trick her into falling for him, he had ended up falling head over heels for her instead, a lot harder than he’d expected. It was evident to the rest of the Baku Squad, after they started dating, that Katsuki Bakugou was in deep. Probably deeper than his girlfriend was at that point, and everyone figured that it had turned out for the best.

“Man, I can’t believe it’s already been a month!” Mina said to Denki, Eijiro, and Hanta as they grabbed breakfast in the kitchen.

Katsuki’s girlfriend happened to be coming to the kitchen to eat breakfast, but she stopped when she heard her boyfriend’s friends talking.

“It was just a bet, and he just threw himself head first into it,” Hanta remarked, “Sometimes I wonder if he’s actually that lovey, or if he’s just putting on a good show.”

What were they talking about? A bet? A month? She began to put the pieces together; she and Katsuki had been dating for a month, which meant that what they were talking about was their relationship, and lovey… That had to be Katsuki they were talking about, everyone else in the Baku Squad were approachable friendly people, why would anyone be surprised about any of them but Katsuki being lovey?

“It’s real,” Eijiro insisted, “But, it is kinda crazy to think he went into this thinking he could get away without actually developing feelings for her… Kinda cruel, actually.”

Oh, yeah, they were definitely talking about her and Katsuki.

It’s kinda crazy to think he went into this thinking he could get away without actually developing feelings for her.

Eijiro’s words echoed in her head as they continued to discuss the relationship between her and Katsuki, though she couldn’t hear the rest of it. Of course, if she’d been listening, she would have heard them talking about how happy they were that everything had worked out for the two of them, and that Katsuki actually had someone who loved him, and that he genuinely loved in return. But, it had just been a bet. Their whole relationship was founded on a bet between him and his friends.

“What are you standing there for?” Katsuki asked, seeing his girlfriend paused by the kitchen door.

She took a sharp breath, the sound of his voice bringing her back into the present moment.

“Are you alright?” Katsuki asked, concerned when she didn’t respond, or even turn to look at him, “Babe, is something—”

He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder, but she smacked his hand away and looked up at him, starting to cry.

“You’re an asshole!” She shouted, startling him and the rest of his friends in the kitchen, “You don’t even really like me, do you?!”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Katsuki asked, his confusion evident on his face, “Of course I like you.”

“Is this some sort of joke to you? My feelings?” She demanded.

Shit.” Katsuki heard Denki say from inside the kitchen.

“Motherfucker…” Katsuki growled, looking into the kitchen and glaring at his friends.

“I’m taking it by that reaction that I wasn’t supposed to know,” She said quietly, her tone dripping with ache.

“No, I do,” Katsuki replied, turning his attention back to her, his chest feeling tight, “I do like you, now, I really do.”

Now?!” She asked, “Great, so at some point you were just messing around with me because your friends told you to?!”

Katsuki didn’t know what to say in response to that. Yeah, it had started as a bet, and yeah, he had gone into it having absolutely no feelings for this girl, putting on quite the act to get her attention, but now it was different. Now he adored her, and he really liked being with her. And it was falling apart, all because of his stupid friends, who had been the ones to make him do it in the first place… Except, no one made him do anything, and he knew it. He was the one who had done it, of his own free will, no one had forced him to do it.

“I hate you!” She shouted, snapping Katsuki out of his thoughts.

“Okay.” Katsuki replied blankly, just looking down at her, “That’s fair.”

Okay? Really? That’s all you have to say?!” She asked, astounded by the glazed over look in his eyes, “Well, thanks for that, Bakugou.”

She smacked her shoulder hard into his arm as she walked past, causing him to let out a groan of pain as she headed to the elevator. She was crying, it was bad, and he had just made it worse. He had no idea what to do. Apologizing wasn’t going to do any good, he thought, so he let her go back up to her room.

“Bakugou, we’re sorry, we didn’t know she was there!” Mina said.

“You just had to talk about that in a place where she could show up at any moment…” Katsuki hissed, his palms starting to smoke, “I don’t want any of you assrags talking to me again. Fuck all of you.”

Katsuki turned and headed towards the elevator to go up to his own room, and his friends watched, all feeling overwhelmed with guilt; they’d just ruined the best thing to ever happen to him.

He didn’t go straight to his room, he stopped by her room to try and get her to talk to him. He wasn’t thinking straight, but he had enough sense in him to at least try to tell her that he was sorry for his friends being idiots. That was sensible, right?

“Babe, open the door.” Katsuki said, pounding on the door, “Look, I’m sorry, can we talk about this?”

“Go away!” She shouted from inside her room.

“I know you’re pissed, but we need to talk about this, because it’s not as simple as you think it is!” Katsuki responded, trying to open the door only to find that it was locked, “Fuck, come on, please open the door!”

“I hate you, go away! You’re the worst thing that’s ever happened to me!” She snapped.

It felt true to her in that moment, but she knew that wasn’t really the truth. She was hurt, she was lashing out.

“I wish that I could never have to see you again!” She yelled, holding tightly onto her pillow.

You’re the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. I wish that I could never have to see you again.

The weight of those words was enormous. Katsuki already had doubts about himself being someone that anyone could ever deal with, but hearing the one person he’d allowed himself to become attached to saying that, though he knew it was perfectly reasonable under the circumstances, absolutely fucking sucked

“Well, if that’s how you really feel, I guess I’ll go.” Katsuki said, his throat starting to close up a bit and his eyes starting to sting.

His body felt hot and extremely cold at the same time, every movement he took felt unbearably laborious. He began to have trouble breathing, and tears began to force themselves out of his eyes as he reached his room. He threw the door open, dashed inside, kicked the door shut, and then fell onto his floor, breaking down completely in the safety of his own space.

He cried so hard he began to hyperventilate and dry heave, feeling absolutely sick. What the hell was wrong with him, crying like that? His own humiliation at his reaction to the situation made him feel worse, and cry harder. He was beside himself. He cried himself into a fainting episode, blacking out slumped up against the door into his room.

When he came to, he’d missed a bunch of calls from his friends, and several texts from his girlfriend, who was now his ex-girlfriend. After reading through all the texts he’d gotten, starting to cry again after reading what she had sent him, he nearly crushed his phone, he was devastated. His hand were shaking as he dialed his mother’s cell phone number, and as he held the phone to his ear, listening to the dial tone.

“Katsuki? Are you alright?” His mother’s voice greeted him a few seconds later.

“No.” Katsuki answered, his voice breaking.

“What’s wrong, Kid?” She asked, startled to hear him like that.

“I fucked up, Mom.” Katsuki said, having trouble breathing again, “Can you come get me?”

“What did you do?” She asked, “Are you hurt? Did you hurt someone else?”

“Both.” Katsuki answered, “Not physically, anyway, but like…”

He whimpered, and his mom knew. She knew what was wrong.

“I’ll be there in half an hour. Get yourself together enough to get out of the dorm, okay?” She said, “It’s gonna be okay, Katsuki, we’ll talk about it when I get there.”

“Okay…” Katsuki mumbled, trying to stop himself from sounding so stupid.

This is bullshit, fuck.

No Place Like Home. 💜

Dedicated to @marvelpotterlove 💜 This is a five part series. Reader is a single real estate agent in Cali. Fluff and Mild Drama included. Thank you for being patient with me while I get this out.

Word Count: 2,514 (probably a few more words to be honest I just didn’t update the count because it was a small difference.)

•▪• ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ •▪• ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ •▪•

Part 2: Keep Your Head Up

La Guardia was as lively as ever on arrival. Heading to the Departure Terminal, Erik slowed his pace to match Y/N’s. The baggage weight was nothing for him, but though Y/N wasn’t really struggling, he could see she was working unnecessarily. Lifting her bag from her grasp, he freed her so that she could conserve her energy for what lied ahead, her family.

No car was waiting for her at the terminal, but she didn’t seem surprised only mildly disappointed. She resorted to her phone and he assumed she was calling someone but then she when didn’t, he had to wonder what she was doing. Despite the fact that he was standing, her attention remained glued to her phone. Slowly moving to her side, he peeked at the phone screen to find that she was looking at houses. Really? Right now? Gotdamn.

“House hunting?”

“Huh? Oh. Oh!.. No, I’m a real estate agent so I’m just browsing listings, you know? Gotta stay knowledgeable. But right now I’m thinking I need to set up some open houses and this is prime time to plan so when I get back to Cali I can just roll.”

“Oh yeah? Well if you need a caterer, you know who to call.” Her face brightened unexpectedly and suddenly the day brightened with it. If only she could just stay like that. It was a rare view into the vibrant and alluring woman hidden underneath all the mundane bullshit. He couldn’t fault her passion though. She was dedicated and loved her job much like he loved his own, so he decided to let her slide. Just this once.

“Where’s your ride?” He was ten seconds from letting whoever was supposed to come waste their gas whenever they decided to make an appearance. Y/N sighed pouting her plump lips in annoyance.

“My mom said someone was coming. I told them a time that was at least fifteen minutes earlier just to make sure they weren’t late, and yet..”

“Say less.” Add the thirteen minutes we been standin here and they’re actually thirty minutes late.. That don’t make no damn sense. Stepping away, he requested a taxi and she didn’t fight, sliding into the back seat beside the bags and rattling off the address to the driver. He took the front seat and the car took off swerving and rolling through car studded city streets into a hail of heavy rain. By the time they reached the address, the rain had stopped. As the taxi drove away, they stood in front of a tiny house with tacky white lattice panels and an ugly shop roof over the porch. Y/N walked up the short walkway and tried the knob. It was unlocked. Of course. Who’d break into this shit? Toting the bags, he followed the her inside. The inside looked much better and less like a bodega grocery shop. There was a glass coffee table surrounded by two green couches and a matching green chair. A wide screen tv was mounted to the wall. A stark contrast to the outside.

“Hello?… Hello? Anyone?..,” Y/N called walking to various points. Strangely there was no response. She turned to offer an apologetic shrug, but it wasn’t like she’d done anything wrong. He followed her wordlessly until she stopped short in a doorway. Her shoulders dropped.

“So couldn’t no one say anything? Y'all were right here.”

That right there rubbed him the wrong way. He wanted to see in the room for himself, but he decided to wait to hear more as she walked into the room disappearing from his sight. There were a few exaggerated hellos as though the acknowledgment she asked for was too much.

“We ain’t seen you in two years don’t come in here with that bad energy. We don’t do all that negativity,” rasps a rough feminine voice. Cigarettes must’ve been a bitch to her vocal chords.

“Bad energy? I said hello and you guys straight ignored me. Mom, that’s not bad energy?”

There’s a snicker in the background and another mumble. Two women talking amongst themselves quietly but just loud enough for Y/N to hear. This shit was intentional.

“You can walk right back out if you gonna act like that. This ain’t your day Ms. Drama Queen, it’s Jamira’s. Did you address her? No you did not. Leave and come back. Then address her properly like a big sister should.”

“Are you kidding me? Hi, Jami–”

“No, I said leave out of here.. If you open your ears you’ll hear me.. Then go out and come back in and say hi to your sister.”

Erik had heard enough, he silently walked back to the door, closing it loudly. His heavy footsteps trailed back toward the room and he dropped the bags in the hall before making his grand appearance into what turned out to be the kitchen. Immediately four sets of eyes were on him.

“Babygirl.. I paid the driver. Bags are in the hall,” he sighs sauntering straight to Y/N. Her eyes widen slightly but noticeably when he drapes his thick arms around her plush waist pulling her nearer into an intimate hug where their chests meet firmly. Her soft breasts on his torso feel like pillows. That and the other eyes stuck to the side of his face make him unwilling to let her move. He places a solid kiss on her forehead and whispers in her ear.

“Control your face.” He was flattered by her unexpected reaction, but now was not the time to act brand new. Their relationship needed to appear lived in. He makes sure to lick his lips and casually glance at the three women sitting around the kitchen table. For the most part they looked alike as far as eyes, noses, and skin tone. He immediately knew who was who and Y/N was definitely the prettiest. That was reason enough for them to dislike her.

“You gone introduce me?” He smiles warmly prodding Y/N in her squishy side to wake her up. He wasn’t finna let her fuck this up. It was as if a switch went off, acting skills in play.

“Oh, my fault. Erik, this is Jamira my sister, India my mom, and Iris my aunt,” she gestures as if he didn’t know their whole life histories at this point. “Y'all, this is my boyfriend Erik.”

“Wassup,” he greets.

Three sets of eyes continue to roam up and down his body, assessing, judging, and most of all thirsting. This time he faces them with his strategic fake smile that never fails to charm even the most standoffish. The gold fangs cause each of their faces to betray their impure thoughts.

Check.

“Boyfriend huh,” India rasps, “I wonder when that happened cuz you sure never keep a man, Lil Miss I Don’t Want Kids,” she laughs.

Erik allows his eyebrow to raise in disapproval of India’s outburst and he squares his shoulders in a subtle show of dominance. When Iris and Jamira show more interest in looking at his biceps than joining India’s roast of her eldest daughter, the raspy laughter dies down fairly quickly.

Checkmate.

Oh yeah, he knew how to shut it down. His attention went back to Y/N and her eyes thanked him.. Not that he needed to be thanked. Still, it made him feel good to be of use to her. Lifting her chin with his thumb and forefinger he was sure to speak so everyone could hear him.

“Kids or no kids, I’m already daddy and I want you. Everyday. Forever.” He sealed the declaration with a kiss on her lips, pulling away slowly. Just saying the words made his whole chest and stomach heat and flutter. His lips felt hot. And the way she looked at him when he said it, either she was really flustered.. tuned into his presence and completely absorbed in his words or she was a better actress than he previously gave her credit for. She raised his hand to her full lips and kissed his palm with what looked like sincere devotion. That definitely didn’t clear anything up.

“Hmph, y'all take the room upstairs that used to be Jamira’s and Y/N’s. We don’t need to see all that,” India grouches. She’d be seeing a lot more than that now that he knew Y/N was down for it. He’d make sure of it.

“Speak for yourself,” Iris chuckles sipping a glass of water. Freak ass. Divorced, two kids, dating a nigga named Bernie. Not as bitter as India, but twice as petty. She slapped Jamira’s hand in a high five. Jamira was engaged to a man named Marcus and getting married in three days. She worked at an assisted living center and lived somewhere nearby. She was the favorite. When Erik heard that on the plane, a theory crossed his mind for why Y/N was such an outsider and he determined that most of it was jealousy and resentment. It wasn’t for him to confront though, that was for Y/N. He hoped that before they left New York he’d get to see her go off one time.

Grabbing the bags, he let Y/N lead the way upstairs. The whispers started in the kitchen almost immediately. His keen ears could pick up certain sounds and words. They were talking about him. Good. He’d give them something worthwhile to really gossip about as soon as he discussed some things with Y/N.

Y/N’s old bedroom has a bunkbed. It makes perfect sense, but he didn’t picture fuckin on a bunkbed. Not that Y/N would let him so soon, but they had to make the relationship shit believable.

“I wanna make them think we fuckin eventually,” he whispers not wanting his voice to carry. It gets a wicked conspiratory smirk out of her that’s so cute he almost jumps the gun to ask if she wanna fuck forreal. She’s definitely down for the fake.

“But for now, what are we going into? What’s happening today?”

“Well.. Apparently there’s a lot that goes on the week before a wedding.. But my job as a bridesmaid is to buy the dress Jamira chooses and, wear my hair styled the way she chooses, help pay for and go to the bachelorette party and the bridal shower, and go to the rehearsal dinner. That’s all I’m doing. I refuse to do anything else.”

“Who the fuck made you a bridesmaid? Obviously y'all don’t get along.”

“My mom. She didn’t say it, but I think she just wants me to see Jamira happy so she can tell me how miserable the life I’ve chosen for myself is. That I need to marry some man and have a kid to be like her.”

“That’s probably it.” His family issues ran deep so he couldn’t say much, but her mother was a bitch. They were so different to say they looked so much alike.

“I’m going with you to everything but the bachelorette party. I’m sure you can guess why on that one.”

“You can come to the rehearsal dinner but that’s probably it. Everything else is pretty much women only.”

“Fuck that, let me handle it when the time comes.”

“What you gonna do, flash your grills again and charm them into letting you come?” She chuckles as if she ain’t just see how well it worked.

“Y/N! Come the hell on, we leaving!” A shrill voice could be heard cutting through the air, Jamira’s yelling. He was thankful he never had siblings.

“I can’t imagine growing up with that. I’d have socked the hell out of her,” he groaned lowly.

“I’m pretty sure I did a few times,” she says over her shoulder as she slips her shoes back on. Her toenails were painted white and against her skin tone, they were igniting the slight foot fetish he’d tried to bury. He followed her down the stairs and put his charming persona back to the forefront.

“If you’re going to look at bridesmaid dresses for the wedding I’d be more than happy to tag along. That is if y'all pretty ladies don’t mind the presence of a nigga,” he said with a wink in Jamira’s direction. She was taken aback, but she didn’t object.

Originally posted by leilust

And after a quick look at Y/N’s faux surprised face to determine that it wasn’t what she wanted.. so proud of Y/N for that performance.. She gave him the verbal invitation which he accepted with a smile. He had this girl in his pocket.

Erik ignored the lustful glances being shot his way. None of them were too shameless, thankfully, but they were obvious. He needed them all to know not to try him because they didn’t stand a chance so for the most part, he kept his eyes trained on Y/N. It wasn’t difficult, she was very easy on the eyes. Also, he found it wasn’t much different from what he’d been doing unintentionally.

“These dresses look cheap as hell,” he whispered in Y/N’s ear when she came near, knowing for a fact she had too much style herself to disagree. She held in her laugh, but that smile was peaking through.

“They gone set you up and make you wear something that’s more flattering on everyone else just watch.” He was getting the gist of how this family worked and sure enough he was right. They tried to use her goddess proportions against her and choose a dress meant to cut her self-esteem. It was crazy how hard they worked to break her yet she still shined. For a second though, it looked like she was fading.

“I think this might be the dress,” Jamira chirped looking at her four bridesmaids. Y/N was the thickest one. She had big titties, a soft stomach, and little lovehandles. She had ass and thighs, something they didn’t. She had it all and she was perfect and he hated that for a second they succeeded in making her doubt that.

“What’s wrong witchu, you look like someone just ate your cupcake,” Iris chuckles. “Po lil tink.”

“Is this the biggest size in this dress?” Lil baby was a trooper, tryna make it work. It wasn’t gonna work.. but she was trying. India kissed her teeth causing Erik to roll his eyes.

“She look like she mad she ATE the cake. I try to tell her to watch what she eats, but she don’t listen to no damn body. Every time I see her she get bigger. I’m just concerned about her health at this point.”

“Okaaay,” one of the other bridesmaids interrupts looking uncomfortable. “I’m on the fence about it too. I think we should keep looking.”

That was his sign. He’d long ago spotted a dress that looked like it would compliment Y/N and it covered more. He knew how conservative she liked to dress.

“What about this one,” he said drawing attention to the plum colored long dress. It had a high split and wasn’t too low in the front, but would show enough.

The one decent bridesmaid other than Y/N hyped his choice enough for the girls to try it on and like he’d hoped, it looked good on everyone.

“This the one bruv,” another bridesmaid confirms. Y/N keeps her mouth shut not wanting to give anyone a reason to come against it. It works and though India rolls her eyes, she agrees that it’s the best choice, especially since they’d be forgoing any alterations. Jamira throws an impressed smile at Erik and he nods. Now that that part is over...

@hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @simplyyamberr @vanitykocaine @readmywrites @bitemyxxx @stariamrry @bonita-juanita @eriknutinthispoosy @blackpinup22 @thadelightfulone @yaachtynoboat711 @youreadthatright @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @bidibidibombaclaat @priya212 @romanceoftheeveryday @muse-of-mbaku @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @kreolemami @myboyfriendgiriboy @loosewindmill @wakanda-inspired @madbadsiren @theunsweetenedtruth @panthergoddessbast @allhailnjadaka @amethyst1993 @ange-sensuel @thehomierobbstark @purplehairgawdess @supersizemeplz @blackpantherismyish @drsunshine97 @thiccdaddy-mbaku @wawakanda-btch @killmongersmisstress @imaginewhoever @nemesispawn @niggarachi15 @hidden-treasures21 @pupyluv247 @phoenixxx1225 @violet-ines @indigoxsummers @janelledarling @imasmille @sweetsexysavagery @mermaidchansons @destinio1 @ash-moneyy @ljstraightnochaser @forbeautyandlife @iamrheaspeaks @elle-luring @yoyolovesbucky

Surprise

I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS. but i didn't want to stop once i started writing. enjoy this piece of garbage babes. P.S i know the title sucks too 

You grabbed the throw pillows placed on the king sized bed throwing them to the side as you got the bed ready, unaware of the front door of the condo opening.  You were lost in thought when you felt someone grab at your waist. You let out a loud scream and pushed your elbow backwards harshly hitting the person right on the nose.

You heard the person behind you groan in pain and you turned around to see Shawn crouching down in pain clutching his face. “What the fuck?” you said shocked at seeing your boyfriend behind you groaning in pain.

“Surprise?” he said with a low chuckle looking up at you. “Shit” you said as you noticing his bloody nose when he moved his hands from his face. “Oh my god Shawn” you said crouching down to his level grabbing his face to inspect his nose.

“Ah fuck” he said through  gritted  teeth, feeling his nose throbbing . 

“It hurts. It hurts so much” he mumbled out face scrunched up in pain.

“I’m so sorry Shawn! I didn’t mean to-“you apologized seeing more blood flowing out of his nose.

“Shit” you mumbled out getting up and running to the bathroom to get the first aid kit. You sat down in front of Shawn removing his hands from his nose as you held a cotton pad to his nose asking him to keep his head tilted forward.

“Fuck I’m really sorry babe” you said your voice laced with guilt. He lifted his head to look at you still holding the cotton pad to his nose.  He noticed your eyes sitting with tears watching him with a guilt-ridden expression.

He just chuckled watching you with an amused smile. “Damn babe, I was worried leaving you all alone when I go on tour. But I can so that you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself” he said

“You almost broke by damn nose” he said with a teasing chuckle making you feel even worse

You pushed against his shoulder embarrassed at what you had done. “Shut up” mumbled out

 “I’m sorry” you apologized once again leaning down to kiss the tip of his nose gently.

“I want a proper kiss, I missed you” he said with a pout on his soft lips.

“Yeah…I’m not kissing you while half your lips are covered in blood”

“And whose fault is that?” he said with a raised eye brow as he got up walking to the bathroom to wash away his messy face.

“I said I was sorry!” you said following behind him.  He didn’t answer you as he washed away the blood from around his mouth and his hands, the bleeding finally stopping.

“Fuck it still hurts, I think you might have broken it babe” Shawn mumbled a serious look on his face as he stood up straight. You felt the guilt wash over you once again getting closer and grabbing his face pulling it down to inspect his nose.

“Are you sure? I didn’t think I hit you that-“

You were cut off by Shawn as he placed his lips against yours, his hands placed on your waist. His lips were cold from the water he had just used to clean himself up. 

“Your lips are fucking cold” you mumbled against into the kiss. 

“Why don’t you warm them up for me then” was his reply as his hold on your waist tighten pulling your hips flushed again his as he nibbled against your lower lip. 

You grabbed onto the back of his neck wanting to deepen the kiss as you pulled his face closer to yours. Your nose pushed against his and he pulled away in a hurry a painful cry leaving his lips. “It still fucking hurts”  

You seemed excited about me writing a one shot so here you go babe @hoodash98xoxo

anonymous asked:

Hey Gray! I love your blog :D I was wondering if you could do this request: RFA+Minor trio reacting to MC's and their own child being bullied in front of them (like maybe the bullies didn't see them RIGHT THERE) for being chubby but the daughter/son is like really chill and hits them with a 'I'm used to it it's ok' thank you :DD I'll request more now!! Good luck with your blog and excuse my english lolol

Hey now, you’re an all star I’m so sorry nobody is allowed to apologize for their English on this blog. You’re really good with it, so don’t worry at all! English is a bitch to learn, and if anyone judges you I will f i g h t. Also, no matter how many other blogs I’ve seen in the past, I still don’t know who makes up the minor trio. I’ve seen it mentioned a lot, and I always assumed it’s Jaehee, V, and Saeran. If it’s someone else, I’ll gladly write for them, too! (Dialogue of fat-shaming in Jaehee’s. Just a heads up!)


Yoosung:

  • He had to pick up your kid from school one day because he got off from work early
  • Yoosung drove there just a little too early when he saw your child getting harassed by three other kids
  • oh no
  • nonononono
  • Instead of just driving up, he parked that damn car and walked up
  • Just far enough so they thought he was a highschooler  even if hes older hes still small you can fight me on this
  • Once he was in earshot, his only thought was how dare they
  • The things they were saying were downright disgusting to him
  • Yoosung walked right up and tapped one of them on the shoulder
  • “Hey there buddy boy, I’m going to ask, no, tell you to kindly leave and never speak to my child again”
  • Your kid just kinda bip bopped along with him after he turned to leave after the kids had given half-hearted apologies
  • “Hey, Dad?” “What? Do you want ice cream? We can go. If you want to talk, we can do that, too” “I just wanted to say that you didn’t need to do that. What they said is pretty normal for me”
  • oh hell no
  • Yoosung just nodded slightly “But it doesn’t have to be” “It’s just like that, but can we still get ice cream?” “Yep! Just don’t tell, MC!” “Will you promise not to tell them about my school either? I don’t want them worried, since you seem to be”
  • So they went out to a small shop that wasn’t too far away from your home and talked about animals
  • Then once they got home, you could see him looking concerned at your child when the put their bag from school up
  • He went to his office and typed out an email
  • Turns out, he got the three kids suspended
  • PTA Dad Yoosung won’t stand for that shit
  • Didn’t tell MC because he promised

Zen:

  • You can’t tell me he’s not a PTA dad either
  • Sure, practice sometimes doesn’t allow him to go to every meeting
  • But you know he’s ready to fight Nancy at the bake sale because what were those brownies, Jesus, Nancy
  • aNYWAYS, you both had to go to one of those lame ass schools fairs
  • you couldn’t say no to your kid because those puppy eyes reminded you of Zen’s
  • You were waiting in line for food while Zen was buying tickets for things and you let your child go off with their friends
  • Then the yelling started dAMMIT, ZEN
  • “How dare you talk to my child like that?” “Well, um, sir-” “No, I’m not hearing it from you, young man” “I want to say-” “Not you either, young lady!”
  • Zen walked back with your kid in tow and he was fuming
  • “MC! Can we leave? There’s much better food at the restaurant we passed” “Only if you tell me what happened, because it looks like our daughter is perfectly fine” “No, she is nOT. They were making fun of her weight! How dare they insult our princess” “Zen, You sound like a script right now, calm down”
  • Your child just mumbled, “Well, that’s what happened during school anyways”
  • Turning around so quickly that you got bitch-slapped by his hair, he looked at your kid
  • He was n o t having this shit
  • “Who cares if you’ve got squish? There’s just more to love! Those kids are douchebags” “Zen-” “As long as you’re comfortable with you, there’s no issue. If you feel bad because of that snotbag, I will find out who his mom is and raise hell” “Zen-” “That one girl looked like her mom runs a drug cartel. I should know, too, because her mom is probably Bethany” “Hyun!”
  • He turned back towards you flashing a slightly awkward smile
  • “MC, that boy was a beast
  • “Not this again” Well, damn, if your kid is sick of it, he probably should be, too
  • You ended up leaving after your kid was done with his shit wanted to leave
  • He may or may not have raised a little hell on the board
  • Gave a two minute monologue on bullying at the monthly meeting

Jaehee: (Good end and after end spoilers)

  • Your son liked to hang around the café after school was done with a few friends
  • He came in one day with several people, a few being ones you recognized
  • You were taking orders and Jaehee was wiping down tables along with picking up dishes
  • cue dramatic plate falling when she overheard their conversation
  • “Maybe your clothes wouldn’t be so big if your  parents didn’t bake so much for you” “He’s right. All those pastries can’t be that great. Especially with how little you do in PE” “Maybe stop eating all of your lun-”
  • “Excuse me, but who are you, ma’am?” “Just a friend of this kid” “Get out of this café” “Who are you? Where’s the manager?”
  • “Mom, it’s fi-” “I’m Mrs. Kang, the owner of this establishment, and the disgusting comments you are making are towards my son. Leave
  • The girl turned bright red and moved to gather her things
  • Jaehee’s badass arm stopped her from properly getting up
  • “I thought it was heavily implied that you were to apologize”
  • She was downright glaring at this kid
  • You paused when nobody else was at the counter and turned your attention to what was going down
  • This look wasn’t even reserved for customers who threw orders at her
  • Once the girl left after having to repeat her apology several times, all the others followed, trying not to maintain eye contact with Jaehee
  • She slid in the booth across from your son and had a lengthy discussion about what was wrong for people to say
  • Jaehee had had enough in her life getting treated awfully, so your kid wasn’t allowed to have any of that
  • That night, you had to talk her out of fighting that kid
  • “Jaehee, that’s assault” “MC, it’s justice

Seven:

  • He was dicking around with the security system at your kid’s school
  • It’s not stalking if its not obsessive
  • The system’s visual aspect may not be strong, but the audio was pretty okay
  • Seven just wanted to hear what your child was doing after the bell had rung (I had to look up if it was rung or rang just now)
  • As soon as he heard what a person was saying that was most definitely not your child, he was ready to f i g h t
  • Your kid came back from school that day and went to greet him
  • He may or may not have turned around in an office chair dramactically
  • “So who’s Jun Ho? He sounds like a real biiiii-I mean, jerkwad” “How do you know who he is? He’s in one of my classes.” “Some teacher emailed me saying he was being rude to you. Making remarks on your appearance or something” “Oh, yeah, he does that a lot. It stopped bugging me awhile ago”
  • Red Alert: How About No?
  • “He shouldn’t be saying things like that in the first place. Why do you even talk to him?” “Jun Ho gives me food” “As much as I love food, you should never be degraded to get it” “But it’s soda, and I can’t take that to school” “You won’t get in trouble if no one finds out. That’s besides the point. Can you please drop that douuu-um, that trashcan? You don’t deserve to be told anything that’s negative about yourself that isn’t constructive”
  • Your kid just tried to assure him that It’s Fine, Dad but it most definitely Was Not
  • So then he went into every social media account he could find of Jun Ho’s and left some lovely messages and photos for the kid to find later

Jumin:

  • you know this motherfucker sent your kid to a private school
  • He didn’t realize that not every person would be magically nice to eachother
  • Just let him believe
  • Jumin was content with that for awhile until The Incident
  • Your son was walking back into your home as he was video chatting people at a party
  • For some reason, their conversation dropped off to what sports people were playing and some dumbass in the background made a rude remark to your kid
  • Jumin walked over and took the phone from your son’s hand and got the attention of the teenagers
  • holy shit, that was the dude that their parents made those important business deals with
  • that suit is probably worth more than all my organs
  • damn, he looks like he’s about ready to fail all of us in a class
  • Please refrain from ever contacting this phone ever again. Your words are unappreciated by myself”
  • Your son was desperately trying to mute him repeating that it was all okay
  • Jumin was still drilling these kids
  • “Furthermore, it is not any of your business to inquire about an individual’s health whatsoever. I will have you make good note that everything in this household is meticulously organized, so no, you’re not ‘concerned for his health’ or any other excuse that is as incompetent as yourselves. Have a good evening”
  • Sassy Jumin snapping that hang up button
  • Then he held out the phone to your son that took it nervously
  • “You’re never to speak to them again” “Dad, I-” “No, it is absolutely not fine. You will not be told that just because you’re not of the bare minimum weight, that you are any less of a human being. You are to be respected. If you are to speak to any of your classmates, please inform them that all business deals with their families will end soon.”
  • He most definitely called all of their parents that evening to tell them of these changes
  • Blocked every number he could
  • Also made sure that any future advertisements that were made by any department were to be inclusive of plus-size models

V:

  • There was a new museum and he was invited to attend it’s opening with his family
  • No way this Cotton Candy Man could say no when your daughter got excited at the mention of an artist she loved that was to have an exhibit showcased
  • Everyone had gotten dressed up for the occasion, including V in a snazzy I’m so sorry that I use that word suit, yourself in comfortable formal wear, and your daughter wearing a tighter blouse with a skirt
  • What she wore didn’t bug you or Jihyun, whatever made her the most loving to herself was fine by you
  • The three of you had walked in and were walking around to greet other guests and enjoy hors d'oeuvres
  • Your daughter walked off to admire the paintings until who you recognized as one of her fellow students walked up to her
  • There was no use in eavesdropping so you continued to walk as V walked into the room of the pieces
  • He honestly didn’t notice them until he could hear your child’s voice
  • Then he noticed what the other party was saying
  • Calm Dad walked over to them and apologized for his interruption in the conversation to tell off the student for what they were saying about your daughter’s outfit
  • “Hey, Dad, Mi Na wasn’t bothering me” “Then she was bothering me. Mi Na, please refrain from speaking negatively about my daughter’s appearance in the future. I assure you that whatever clothing she wishes to wear will not effect you”
  • You looked over to see the “Bitch, you ain’t shit” smile on his face and got interested to see what was going on
  • He explained to you the situation then spoke to your daughter again with a short lecture on Why She Was Perfect and Why People Suck
  • Got the girl kicked out from the museum afterwards
  • To make it up, even though “It was fINE, DAD,” V was able to get artwork from the artist your daughter was so excited to see

Saeran:

  • this one’s going to do with an ice cream parlor I’m sorry
  • He agreed to go on a family outing as long as the crowds weren’t too big
  • Hey, if you made it this far, don’t mess it up
  • To his favorite ice cream parlor first!
  • None of you cared if it was eleven am
  • It was always time for ice cream
  • While you three were waiting in line, your child noticed that the person scooping was the dickbag of an upperclassman that had been harassing them for a couple of weeks
  • Saeran noticed how they acted and offered to get a table with them so that it would fit into conversation easily
  • They nodded and went with them so that he could ask what happened
  • Your kid told him that the boy at the counter was giving him shit for his weight and that “It’s perfectly fine”
  • Then Saeran was p i s s e d
  • He assured them that they were perfectly fine as long as they liked themselves
  • Saeran then offered for them to go back in the line where you were ordering your food
  • Your child was slightly anxious as to what he’d do to the worker
  • He glared at that upperclassman so strongly that you thought he had killed Saeran’s joy in life
  • Considering how much Saeran loved his new family, he pretty much did, so the kid deserved to be scared for half a minute
  • He then smiled at you when you handed a cone to him and you sat down with the three of you eating happily
  • Saeran noticed the glances he was getting but didn’t mind them
  • He glared at the kid again for good measure when he held open the door

I’m sorry that this took me so long! Also, no offense if your name is Nancy or Bethany. They’re just my go to PTA Mom names. I’m going to try to get at least two requests up each day. I hope that this was to your satisfaction, but I’ll happily fix anything if you see fit. Much love to you all!

Garrett and Marian - Legacy Banters
  • Marian: Well... not quite how I imagined this family reunion going. I was envisioning more hugs and maybe some wine over dinner. Not attempted assassinations
  • Carver: Really? You think this is so abnormal for our family?
  • Marian: Well you got me there
  • ---
  • Bethany: What could our father have to do with this mess? The Carta have had more than enough time to try and find us
  • Garrett: I imagine that having two Champions of Kirkwall with the last name Hawke may have tipped them off
  • Bethany: But it's been three years since you and sis defeated the Arishok. Why wait that long?
  • Marian: Well I don't know about you, but if I was going to go after the people who killed an Arishok then I'd probably want to make a little time for planning, wouldn't you?
  • Carver: Do these morons strike you as the sensible type?
  • Marian: Two points in one day Carver? Don't tell me the Templars are actually drilling some wit into that skull of yours
  • Carver: *laughs* At least /my/ wit makes a point, dear sister
  • Bethany: Ooh, that had to hurt
  • Garrett: Do you need some healing for that one, Marian?
  • Marian: Oh shove off, all of you
  • ---
  • Garrett: And we're back in the Deep Roads
  • Marian: Oh it's not that bad. I mean... Look at all the... Ugh, no, you're right this is terrible. Let's all promise never to go to the Deep Roads after this. Three times is enough
  • Garrett: Three times? When was the second?
  • Marian: Um... well...
  • Carver and Bethany: *sing song voices* Somebody's in trouble
  • ---
  • Bethany: Varric wrote to me the other day
  • Garrett: Telling another of his stories, I bet. Was it the one about the high dragon, because that didn't really-
  • Bethany: No. He was giving me an update. On you, actually. I was... worried, so I wrote to him and asked
  • Garrett: I'm fine Beth. Really
  • Bethany: No you're not. Not yet. But I know you, and if anyone can get past it, you can
  • Garrett: Thank you
  • ---
  • Carver: You might want to be watch yourself, Garrett
  • Garrett: How come?
  • Carver: Ever since you sided with Orsino the other day, there's been... Rumours. Meredith isn't happy with you, and it's only because she allows it that you're still free
  • Garrett: So is she going to have me dragged to the Circle, or is she getting the Brand ready now?
  • Fenris: Don't say that
  • Carver: I would never let it get that far. But I thought I'd warn you, just in case you were thinking about making her mad
  • Garrett: I appreciate you telling me Carver. Don't worry. I'll be careful
  • ---
  • *after completing Malcolm's Will*
  • Marian: So... the stonework down here is... lovely, isn't it?
  • Carver: Not now, Mary
  • Marian: I was only... Alright
  • ---
  • Marian: Are you okay, Gary?
  • Garrett: I'm fine... Just...
  • Marian: He loved you. And Bethany. He'd be so proud of you
  • Garrett: You sound so sure of that
  • Marian: Of course I am. Because it's true. And don't let that nasty shit in your head tell you otherwise - it's a liar, remember
  • Garrett: *chuckles* Alright
  • Bethany: Be careful sister, people might think you've got a heart after all
  • Marian: *dramatically* Oh no! *clutches chest* I think... I think I'm getting feelings! Quick, someone beat them out of me!
  • Carver: *laughs* You be careful what you wish for sister
  • Isabela: I'd rather ride them out of you
  • Garrett: Ah, and there's the dirty line. I was starting to worry something was wrong Bela
  • Isabela: And you're as sweet as ever, Garrett
  • ---
  • Varric: Twenty silvers, that's my final offer. Take it or leave it Elf
  • Marian: What are you betting on, and why am I getting left out of it?
  • Varric: You want in? We're betting on what it'll take to get Junior and Waffles to hug
  • Garrett: *groans* You're not calling me 'Waffles' again, are you?
  • Varric: I have to. Every time I say 'Hawke' all four of you turn around. I'm being considerate
  • Carver: I bet there's /someone/ here who'd like to see him covered in syrup
  • Garrett: Carver!
  • Fenris: *embarrassed noises*
  • Isabela: Ooh, new friend-fiction idea!
  • Garrett: Don't you even dare!
  • Isabela: Too late, already dared. Can we make camp? I need to make notes
  • ---
  • Varric: Hey, Rivaini, I'm expecting royalties if that friend-fiction of yours gets published
  • Carver: When you didn't even come up with it?
  • Varric: You wouldn't have brought up syrup if I didn't call him Waffles
  • Garrett: Maker save me...
  • Bethany: And me...
  • Marian: Usually I like dirty things... But this is too far, even for me
  • Isabela: Are you saying you wouldn't like it if /I/ were covered in syrup?
  • Marian: Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realise you were my very hairy twin brother, Bela
  • Isabela: Well when you put it that way...
  • ---
  • Isabela: I always thought we were the loud ones, you know
  • Fenris: What?
  • Marian: I know right. Maybe they're just less shy about it now
  • Garrett: Do I want to know?
  • Isabela: You already know. Or did you deafen yourself?
  • Marian: To think, they don't need us shouting encouragement through the wall anymore. I'm so proud
  • Isabela: Our boys are growing up so fast. Maybe next they'll master foreplay
  • Carver: Oh Maker, I do not want to hear this
  • Bethany: Neither do I
  • Garrett: *loudly* And I would be very happy if we could stop talking about this. Right now
  • Isabela: Yeah, see. That kind of loud
  • Fenris: *deadpan* If you're so fascinated by Garrett being loud, then you must not be doing a very good job at making Marian scream, Isabela
  • Marian: Oooooooo
  • Isabela: Oh, you snarky little shit
  • Bethany: *loudly* If we could stop discussing my older brother's and sister's sex lives, I would appreciate it
  • Carver: *loudly* Oh look, more darkspawn. Let's kill them so we can stop talking about this
  • ---
  • Marian: So our choices are the nice, Tainted madman, or the mage who wants to let a darkspawn magister out of his hole in the ground? Why can we never make nice decisions, like what kind of wine to have with dinner?
  • Fenris: I agree. It is the only decision worth making
  • Marian: When you're not throwing it at the walls, I assume?
  • Fenris: That was six years ago
  • Marian: And you never offered me a glass
  • Fenris: You are recycling jokes now? Has the great Marian Hawke's wit finally lost it's edge?
  • Marian: Ooh, you are just asking for it now
  • ---
  • Varric: You okay Garrett? You've been a bit quiet since-
  • Garrett: I'm fine Varric. There's more important things to be worried about right now
  • Varric: It's not easy to realise that someone you looked up to wasn't quite what you imagined. You ever need to talk, you know where my suite is
  • ---
  • Isabela: So... is no one going to bring up the fact that Varric called Garrett by his name earlier?
  • Varric: What are you talking about Rivaini? Waffles and I were just having a friendly chat
  • Isabela: Don't bullshit me. You called him Garrett. I heard you
  • Varric: That doesn't sound like me, Rivaini
  • Marian: He called you by your name when Velasco carted you off to Castillon
  • Isabela: What?! No fair, I didn't get to hear!
  • ---
  • Bethany: Are you sure about this, brother?
  • Garrett: It has to be done
  • Bethany: I could do it. I am a Hawke after all, and a mage. You don't need to-
  • Garrett: No, Bethany
  • Bethany: But-!
  • Garrett: Bethy, if I let you use blood magic, I'd never be able to live with myself
  • Bethany: And if you do it, will you be able to live with it?
  • Garrett: I'd rather it be me than you
  • ---
  • Varric: If he pulls a dragon out of his ass, I'm leaving!
  • Marian: Oh great, and now he's almost certain to pull a dragon out of his arse! Way to go Varric
  • ---
  • Bethany: Here, you didn't get a chance to close that wound earlier
  • Garrett: Thank you
  • Fenris: I just hope it was worth it
  • Marian: Well we /did/ just kill a darkspawn magister. I can't wait to hear how Varric tells this one
  • Varric: Well I doubt I'll have to exaggerate a damn thing, considering how weird this shit is
  • Fenris: That isn't what I meant...
  • Garrett: I'd have avoided it if I could, but someone had to. And if it meant sparing my little sister from that...
  • Fenris: I understand. But... Please, just be more careful from now on
  • Garrett: I will, I promise
  • Isabela: You two are so sappy... It's actually rather cute
Summary of Hamilton Songs
  • Alexander Hamilton: Yo I'm Alexander Hamilton and these are all the bitches I've fucked and/or fucked up
  • Aaron Burr, Sir: Let's see how many things rhyme with Burr (also BRRAAAAH BRRAAAAH)
  • My Shot: Hamilton's not throwing away his shot or the fucking mike like holy shit this song is good
  • The Story of Tonight: We are best buds and this song is in no way foreshadowing sad events what are you talking about lets have another round
  • The Schuyler Sisters: WERK BITCH
  • Farmer Refuted: Hamilton: "My dog speaks more eloquently" Everybody: "OOOOOHH!"
  • You'll Be Back: The king's an abusive boyfriend who can't let things go and is also really cute--DA DA DA DA DA
  • Right Hand Man: HERE COMES THE GENERAL MOTHERFUCKERS
  • A Winter's Ball: We're reliable wITH THE LADIES!!!
  • Helpless: Eliza is a cinnamon roll who needs her happy ending stfu
  • Satisfied: Angelica fucking wrecks it like holy shit this song will bring me back to life
  • The Story of Tonight Reprise: "She's married to a British officer" "Oh shit..."
  • Wait For It: And we all fall in love with Burr cuz he tears this shit up
  • Stay Alive: "I'm a general! WEEEEEEEEEE!!!" (And Hamilton will fight anyone like holy shit boy calm the fuck down)
  • Ten Duel Commandments: The awesome sounding counting game of fUCKING DEATH
  • Meet Me Inside: Hamilton gets called to the principals office
  • That Would Be Enough: Dude seriously Eliza just wants you to not fucking die like how hard is that
  • Guns and Ships: Just...I just can't...just listen to this one fucking french asshole give it all he's got
  • History Has Its Eyes On You: Basically Washington telling Hamilton not to fuck up
  • The World Turned Upside Down: America wins the war and this shit is intense (also "Immigrants, we get the job done")
  • What Comes Next: The king is still bitter--"AWESOME! WOW!"
  • Dear Theodosia: Dads and their kids make me cry every time also we see parallels between Burr and Hamilton like holy shit this is cool
  • Non-Stop: Hamilton slow down you're scaring ppl
  • What'd I Miss: Jefferson arrives 15 minutes late with Starbucks
  • Cabinet Battle #1: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY
  • Take A Break: Ok am I the only one who notices the beat of nothing when the sisters are like "Angelica, Eliza...the Schuyler sisters" like where the fuck is Peggy is she dead i think she's dead holy shit NO
  • Say No To This: Hamilton you dumb fuck say no to this
  • ...also Maria can belt like you won't believe
  • The Room Where It Happens: Burr is done with everyone's shit (also this song is life)
  • Schuyler Defeated: Burr drops some major foreshadowing with "I swear your pride will be the death of us all"
  • Cabinet Battle #2: "...France"
  • Washington on Your Side: Hamilton better watch his back
  • "Southern motherfuckin' dEMOCRATIC-REPUBLICANS!" "OH"
  • One Last Time: Washington has had enough of everyone's shit and is going home (like seriously he's the smartest person in this play he leaves before shit hits the fan)
  • I Know Him: Oh King George! We were wondering how you were doing...still creepy?...ok moving on
  • The Adams Administration: "Sit down John, you fat motherFUCKER"
  • We Know: Hamilton fucks up and no one's surprised at this point (also I love the little "No one else was in the room where it happened" addition from Burr like it just rubs salt in the wound here for their "friendship")
  • Hurricane: More Hamilton backstory/Wait For It Reprise
  • The Reynolds Pamphlet: SHIT HAS HIT THE FAN I REPEAT SHIT HAS HIT THE GODDAM FAN (also Angelica: "I'm not here for you" Everyone: "Oooooohhh!")
  • Burn: Ok let me just say Lin-Manuel Miranda has done such a good job with Eliza's character like for someone who we don't know anything about history wise, he really brought her to life in ways that make me want to cry
  • Blow Us All Away Reprise: philip no
  • philip no
  • PHILIP NO (also ha ha ha with the name of the song ha ha ha I'm laughing so hard I'm crying)
  • Stay Alive Reprise: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
  • It's Quiet Uptown: I'm dead there's no god there's no light at the end of the tunnel everything's helpless and there are tears flooding my cheeks
  • The Election of 1800: Everyone is thirsting after Hamilton like leave the man alone at this point dear god
  • Your Obedient Servant: Burr and Hamilton are passive aggressive af
  • Best of Wives and Best of Women: I HOPE HAMILTON REALIZES HOW LUCKY HE IS TO HAVE ELIZA HOLY FUCK IM SO PISSED
  • The World Was Wide Enough: Reason for my death: Burr's "Wait!" when he shoots (and dear god I hope someone learns something from this like sometimes a fight isn't worth everything please I'm begging you learn to forgive)
  • Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story: Eliza I'm so proud of you and I hope you find happiness in the end because I FUCKING DIDN'T THIS SHIT HAS ME BAWLING MY EYES OUT
  • ...time to listen to it all over again

another au here kids, let’s go

  • after burying his mother, neil throws out the phones
  • BUT he gets himself another one
  • he doesn’t want to go to his uncle
  • but he’s also aware he’s still young and might need help
  • he keeps the phone for months barely charged and never uses it except to check the time
  • but in millport, on one of the few occasions he’s actually spending time with People
  • he discovers that smartphones have a lot of apps that let you get information on things (cough the butcher, exy, kevin)
  • and in particular
  • he discovers
  • twitter

Keep reading

"I didn't think a hair style would have this much of an affect on you." (Grayson)

Requested by anonymous: “could u do an imagine with blonde grayson and (y/n) sees him for the first time and is like, really turned on by him.”

* * *

Grayson’s POV

“Well Grayson, looks like you lost. Are you ready to face the consequence?” Ethan asked.

“Hell no, I am not.” I sighed. We had just finished filming a video where we were finally finding out if we were identical or fraternal twins, and made a bet. I bet that we were fraternal, and unfortunately, I ended up losing.

“I’m so nervous for this, bro. What if I look stupid?” I asked.

“Oh, you’re for sure gonna look stupid. What I’m most looking forward to is (Y/N)’s reaction.” He laughed. My heart dropped at the mention of her name.

“Oh shit, I didn’t even think about that.” I said. My hair was (Y/N)’s favorite physical feature of mine, and it would absolutely kill her if I did something to it she didn’t like.

“Alright, well, let’s get you made over.” Ethan laughed.

Ethan and I loaded into the car and I was a nervous wreck. I really did not want to go through with this. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and took a snap selfie, sending it to (Y/N).

“Say good bye to this face as you know it. I lost this challenge, so Ethan is making me do something absolutely ridiculous.” I typed in the caption.

“Oh my god. Grayson, what the hell are you doing?” (Y/N) text me after I saw she opened the snap.

“I’m getting a makeover. Changing up my hair, doing something crazy.” I replied.

“Oh nooo, not the hair :(” She said.

“Don’t worry, it won’t be anything too much. Come over later so you can see the final look. Love you. ❤️” I text back. I put my phone back in my pocket and closed my eyes, trying to calm my nerves.

Our first stop on my list of makeover tasks was the tattoo shop, where I was made to get my nose pierced. I wasn’t too worried about this one, because I’d been considering getting my nose pierced for awhile, and I was kinda glad I finally had a reason to get it done.

“Okay, can we be done now? We look different enough.” I sighed at Ethan, knowing that he would say no.

“Mmm, nah. We still look too much the same.” He said. We then drove to our mom’s salon where the rest of my makeover took place. Once we got there, she gave me slits in my eyebrow, then got to the main portion of my makeover; my hair.

“So, you’re just wanting to bleach it, nothing else, right?” She asked before she started.

“Yes, that’s more than enough.” I sighed. I sat there while my hair was being done, irritated that Ethan was making be do this, and anxious for (Y/N) to find out about this.

“Alright, you’re all done. Let me style it, then we can head home.” My mom said as she styled and blow-dried it, then we left. Once we got home, Ethan and I filmed the rest of our video.

“I think we look pretty different now.” Ethan said as I stood there awkwardly in front of the camera, still not comfortable with my new look. “For an added bonus, Grayson just text (Y/N) and told her to come over, so we’re gonna film her reaction to his new look.”

“I am so nervous, what if she doesn’t like it?” I asked, worried.

“Please, if she hasn’t left you by now, I’m sure she won’t over a hairstyle.” Ethan teased. Just then, I heard her say hello to my parents and start coming up the stairs. She knocked on the door and Ethan stopped her before she came in.

“Wait, (Y/N). Don’t come in yet.” He walked outside of the room and I overheard him talking to her, saying that this was a huge surprise and he was gonna cover her eyes while walking her into the room.

“Okay, just keep walking forward. Grayson is holding out his hands, so just take them when you get to him.” Ethan said. As she got closer to me, I held out my hands and took hers, intertwining our fingers.

“Are you ready?” I asked.

“I’m so nervous, but yes.” She said quietly.

“3…

2…

1…” Ethan dropped his hands from (Y/N)’s eyes. She focused on my face, her eyes widening and her jaw dropping as she took in my new look.

“Oh my god, is this real? This isnt real.” She said as she ran her fingers through my hair.

“It’s pretty real.” I laughed. “What do you think?”

“It looks good. It looks really good.” She said, her fingers still tangled in my hair. “The piercing looks good, too. The eyebrow slits are little weird, but, wow. You look amazing.”

“He looks like one of those punk edits, come to life.” Ethan said.

“He does. Y'know, I’ve seen those before and I didn’t think the blonde hair looked that good on him, but now that it’s a reality, I’m here for it.” She said smiling.

“Good, I’m glad you like it.” I said pulling her in for a hug.

“Come to my car when you’re done filming. I’m taking you home with me.” She whispered in my ear as we hugged. She kissed me and gave me a small smirk before walking out of the room. Ethan and I finished filming, and I grabbed my jacket and walked out to (Y/N)’s car.

The ride to (Y/N)’s was quiet as she squirmed in the driver’s seat.

“Babe, are you okay?” I asked, placing my hand on her thigh, causing her to wince under my touch.

“Please, you have no idea how turned on I am right now.” She said sternly, not taking her eyes off the road. I decided to use this to my advantage, tracing small circles on her thigh as she drove, causing her to squirm even more.

“I didn’t think a hairstyle would have this much of an affect on you.” I said, taking her hand in mine, placing small kisses on it.

“We might not even make it home. I might have to pull over and take you in the back seat.” She said.

“Well, luckily we’re almost back to your place, huh?” I said with a smirk, leaning over and placing my lips behind her ear, a weakness of hers I’d discovered after a few months of dating.

“Baby, please…” She whined.

“Hmmm, I’m enjoying this a lot more than I thought I would.” I teased.

“Fuck you for being do smug.” She said, shooting ne daggers as we stopped at a red light.

“Isn’t that what you’re trying to do?”

Just then, we pulled into the driveway and (Y/N) practically ripped my arm out as she pulled pulled me up the stairs of her complex, through her apartment and into her room. I flopped down onto her bed, pulling her down with me as she began to kiss me, harder and harder with each passing second.

* * *

After we finished, we both lied there, panting heavily, drenched in sweat.

“Maybe I should change up my look more often, if this is what I’ll get out of it.” I said, causing (Y/N) to laugh.

“Only if it’s to your hair. It’s the hair that really gets me going.” She said, running her fingers through my hair once more.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” I said, kissing the top of her head. We both lied there, cuddling in silence, slowly drifting off to sleep. Just as I was settling into sleep, I felt (Y/N) move beside me. I opened my eyes, and looked up at her as she straddled me.

“What are you doing?” I asked, placing my hands on her thighs and giving them a tight squeeze.

“Y’know, your blonde sex hair is a lot sexier than your brown sex hair. I might have to offer you a round two.” She said, her hands making their way back to my hair.

“I might have to take you up on that offer.” I smirked, as she leaned down to kiss me. “But later though, I’ll have to keep you on edge, just for a little while longer.”

Call to Order

Dedicated to the fam in celebration of our blog kicking off.

Love, @hearteyes-for-killmonger

Originally posted by love-music-fashion-flawless

Calling all princesses. I need y'all full attention on me right now. This is Daddy speaking. Drop whatever the fuck you doing and meet me in the throne room.

The announcement came over the kimoyo beads of every princess his castle and as King N'jadaka sat wearily on his throne, his lids connected in a celebration of quiet darkness.

The quiet didn’t last. Okoye drove her spear into the hard ground signaling the arrival of the first princesses.

“Enter @bidibidibombaclaat !” Okoye yells and a tiny brown cherub of girl with dark locs curtsies at the entrance before bouncing in toward the throne. She stops short with a big smile and Erik opens his eyes, smiling back warmly. Of all his princesses, she was the most prompt and he appreciated that.

“New glasses?” He never missed a thing when it came to her and her witty inventions. This girl was a technical genius and always had something new or updated. He trusted her with edits to his own Black Panther/Jaguar suit and new gadgets. He wore each one with pride along with the laser nameplate she gifted him with her name in a bold script. It adorned his wrist on a small bracelet. He never took it off.

She tapped her glasses and an explosion went off outside. N'jadaka looked back to see thick black smoke outside through the large windows and a slow, wicked smile of promise pulled at his lips.

“Enter @alyshastevens-udaku @bastioncarterstevens-udaku and @hennessychiron!” Okoye drives her spear against the ground.

“Damn, Okoye, it’s early as fuck and you banging stuff around. Can we not?” A girl with medium complexion and grey eyes scoots into the room and marches straight up the the throne, throwing W'Kabi an expression that says try me. W'Kabi steps aside and lets her pass much to the amusement of the king. She plants a long wet kiss on his lips and grabs her ass pulling her down to straddle him.

“You happy to see me babygirl?” He rubs her thighs as she tells him just how happy she is in her own words.

“You patchy bearded bastard.. You just gone leave me for three weeks then ask if I’m happy to see you? Forget these hoes, I missed you. Fuck me NOW!”

His brow was raised the entire time she spoke. She could call him whatever she wanted, but in the end he knew that if he commanded her to lick the patch in his beard, she’d do it and be honored. She missed him and that’s what made him smile.

“Ahem, my turn,” a strong voice rang out commanding the attention of the room. It came from a small fluffy woman with a high puff and sweet face. She was a warm, cuddly kitten in appearance, but inside she was a tiger. With her head high, she sashayed toward the throne, trading spots with the previous princess on his lap.

“She’s right. Next time you try to leave us at least let ya number one wife know.”

N'jadaka’s face cracks into a wide smile flashing his gold bottom grill. Like the last princess, she spoke her mind freely. She was fearless.

“Aight mama, I’ll see what I can do. No promises.” He could see in her angry doe eyes that his answer wasn’t going to fly. Before she could fire back with a slick remark, he grabbed her throat squeezing it tightly, cutting off her air supply.

“I said I’ll see what I can do.” He said, firmly this time. She nodded and when he saw in her eyes that she was done, he released her.

“Now. Give daddy a kiss and go stand with the other princesses,” he commanded and without complaint, she kissed him and stood to join the others.

“Good girl. Daddy gonna come by later to sample some of that new shit you been growing. I need something strong that’s gone get me lit. Actually ruling a country is harder than destroying it, who’d a thought..”

The king’s eyes go back to the entrance and the rest of his girls have finally gathered. He calls on Bastion who has chosen to appear adorned in an orange gown tailored by Wakanda’s best… herself. She wears matching Louboutin pumps and holds a wine glass, clutching a chunky necklace gifted from the king himself. The room suddenly becomes a runway and she is Naomi Campbell, stunting on the entire room. By the time she reaches Erik, he’s become entranced. She was eye candy, stimulating to watch. Especially now, as tired as he was. He felt renewed by the beauty of her presence. She was breathing art, effortlessly gracing his eyes.

“Just.. keep doing that,” he says.

“What.. walking?” She spins and places her hands on her slender hips. His eyes follow those hips as they sway. For the next ten minutes he indulges in her existence allowing himself to be taken away to a place of calm.

“Thank you,” he said reaching out for her to come to him. He folded a diamond tennis bracelet into her palm.

“Where’d you buy this!” She put it on immediately. This was her love language, how she knew he thought of her.

“I didn’t…” Leaving the conversation there, he looked to the line of his other princesses, each one unique and deserving of his heart. He was lucky to have them. Every time he went away or partook in a dangerous mission, the thought of his princesses was something to cling to. He had something to live for and to come back to.

@itsangeludaku come see daddy babygirl. Daddy really missed you.“

A pretty brown girl with the presence of a model floats toward the throne like an angel and blesses him with a kiss that he closes his eyes to receive. She was one of his more gentle lovers, though she was as kinky as the rest. Signaling W'Kabi, he nods and W'Kabi signals a Dora who produces a bouquet of small deep red flowers.

"When I went to Mexico, I saw these and thought of you. It’s called a Chocolate Cosmo. Fits you.. don’t you think?”

He knew whose quarters he’d be hitting up first for some ass tonight. She was swooning already and he knew she’d be revved to go.

“@wyldjuan get your lil ass up here, you next. I hear you been cheating on me with some nigga with 82 teeth. Don’t lie to me either cuz I got pictures of the nigga. Is he why you took so long to get here?

The short girl had a special ability that he admired. She was like him in a way, a charmer, a hustler, a pure heart that went through raw experiences. His castle was her solace and he’d protect her peace as long as she belonged to him.

“You been giving my pussy away?” He could deal with many things, but that wasn’t one.

“You have like 50 girls! I can’t have just one more man??” She stared at him with puppy dog eyes, a look he couldn’t resist. At least not until now.

“NO. Get rid of that nigga or I will.”

“Daddy, no!!” She stomped away angrily to join the other princesses, but he wasn’t done.

“Get your bratty ass back here, I’m not done.” With a frustrated groan, she marched back toward the throne. “I need some weed. WHAT?”

“Tell me you love me and that I’m ya only daddy. That pussy is mine. I own that shit, solely. Say it.”

Kissing her teeth she repeats the lines and after giving the king a kiss on his smooth cheek, she is allowed to join the rest. He flashes her one final look that says he’s watching her, but he’s already determined in his mind that the man she found will die. There could only be one.

@thickoreo you’re up lil mama. Talk to me, how are things back at your family’s home. You just got back too right?”

A girl with bright pink eye shadow and striking eyes with small freckles steps forward. She’d just finished unpacking her bags when she got the message to appear in the throne room.

“Yeah, same old. You know the deal,” she rolls her round, lively eyes.

“Sorry to hear that. You need me to make a trip? I will.”

“Oh no! It’s fine. I’ll be fine, really. I just need to get to school. Just fly me to the US and I’ll be fine.”

The other princesses nod in understanding although they were sad to hear that she’d be leaving again soon. All of the princess loved each other like family so it was only natural that they would care for this particular princess like family.

“Anything you need, lil mama. I got you just bring me back a degree to frame.”

“Will do!” She grinned and it made his heart feel full and heavy at the same time. He didn’t want her to leave. He wanted her there in the castle, but her dreams went far beyond the castle. She was a bird flying freely into the horizon and he would not dare to limit her.

“Okay @itskimorafireudaku what you got to say to me?” Looking at her he began to salivate. A chocolate drop with curves to die for and long fluffy hair.

“Shit,” he whispered inaudibly under his breath. He was on rock. He knew his princesses could tell. As soon as his princess approached him, he grabbed her sitting her on his erection. She immediately began to grind against it. W'Kabi looked highly uncomfortable but N'jadaka did not care. He kissed his princess on the forehead as she continued to grind.

@poosypoosy I see you. You can’t sneak in when I’m watching you sweetheart. I multitask. You think I can’t see you? Come up here.“

As she made her way to the front, her boldness kicked in.

"Okay, okay.. So I’m late. Nigga, you gone whoop my ass?”

“Bring that thick ass here. I’m a bite it.”

Hesitantly, she approached. When she stood before him, he spun he around and drew his hand back channeling a hard paddle’s worth of inertia. His hand flew and crashed against the softness of her ass with a mighty slap. She yelped at the impact. It stung and he’d held back. Before she could move away, he yanked her back toward his face and gripped her ass placing a hard bite on it through her jeans.

“Don’t ever try that shit with me unless you want me to punish you. That’s your warning.”

@thehomiekillmonger it’s your turn little one. Come give daddy his kiss, hurry up.“

The princess made her way forward to press a solid kiss to his full lips. It was good, but she could do better. It wasn’t an ‘I miss you’ kiss. Grabbing her chin, he deepened the kiss deciding to pour his own thoughts and feelings into the kiss. She closed her eyes and the way she moaned, it was light, but he knew that she too was ready to have that pussy bust wide. Soon.

@lovemecharlie ,” he sighs. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you. Bring to goofy ass on.”

A brown girl with long black twists and a smile that can only be described as home races to the throne, reaching around Kimora to give him a warm hug. Immediately he melted in her embrace. Starved for touch, she was feeding his need and he wanted more. He’d have to visit her room too after he visited everyone else, mostly to cuddle and sleep.

“Damn I love my girls… I’m the luckiest fuckin king in the world and soon I’ll be the king OF this entire goddamned world.”

“We love you too daddy,” the princesses report in unison. Erik closes his eyes and breathes deeply, absorbing the love and positive energy being sent his way. His scar-ridden chest rises and falls.. genuinely at peace. His eyes pop back open with fire and new purpose.

“Now for what I really called y'all in here for.” He looks at each sweet face with contentment before springing his next question.

“Which one of y'all.. beautiful, intelligent, sexy, fertile women wants to give me an heir?”

The princesses, thrown, trade confused expressions at this seemingly random and blunt request which makes him smirk deviously. He knew he was catching each one of them off guard, but it was part of his fun. His golden grill glinted with his troublesome dimpled grin.

“Don’t all speak at once!”

  • Baby: J-J-J
  • Mom: Come on you can do it. Juice?
  • Baby: Ja- Ja-Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it's 🎶beautiful🎶. In the year negative a billion Japan might not have been here. In the year negative fourty thousand it was here and you could walk to it, and some people walked to it. Then it got warmer, some ice burgs melted, it became an island, and now there's lots of trees! because it's warmer. So now there's people on the island, they're basically sort of hanging out in between the mountains eating nuts off trees and using the latest technology like stones and bowls. Ding dong, it's the outside world and they have technology from the future (bronze age) like really good metal and c r a z y r i c e f a r m s. Now you can make A LOT of rice like really really quickly. That means if you own the farm you own a lot of food which is something everybody needs to SURVIVE. So that makes you king. Rice farming and rice kingdoms spread across the land. All the way to here. The most important kingdoms were here(hi), here(chikushi), here(izumo), here(kibi), here(yamato), here(koshi), and here(kenu). But this one (yamato) was the most most important, ruled by a "heavenly superperson" called (emperor) for short. Knock knock. Get the door, it's RELIGION. The new prince (prince shotoku) wants everyone to try this hot new religion (buddhism) from Baekj. "Please try this religion." He said. "No." Said everybody. "Try iiiittt" He said. "No." Said everybody again, quieter this time. And so the religion was put into place and all the rules that came with it. Then the government was taken over by a new clique and they made some reforms (Taika Reforms) like -making the government govern more and -making the government more like China's government, which is a government that governs more. "Hi China." They said. "Hi dipshit." (hi "wa"(dwarf)) Said China. "Can you call us something else, other than dipshit?" Said Japan. "Like what?" Said China. "🎶How about sunrise land?🎶" (nihon) (Japan) and so they stole China's alphabet and wrote a book about themselves. And then they made lots of poetry and art and another book about themselves. Then they stopped moving the capital every time the emperor died and kept it in one place for awhile. Right here (kyoto). And they conquered the north finally. Get that squared away. A rich hipster named kukai is bored with modern buddhism, visits china, and learns a better version (zen buddhism) which is more 🎶spiritual🎶. He goes back, reinvents the alphabet, and causes art and literature to be 🎶great🎶 for a long time and the rural palace turned into such a dream world of art that they really didn't give a shit about running the country. So if you live outside the palace, how are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals? 🎶Hire a samurai🎶. Everyone started hiring samurai. Correction - rich important people hired samurai. Poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai. The samurai became organised and powerful. More powerful than the government. So they made their own military government here. They let the emperor still be "emperor" but the shogun is actually in control. BREAKING NEWS the Mongols have invaded China. "We've invaded China" said the Mongols, "Please respect us or else we might invade you as well." "Okay" said Japan. So the Mongols came over, ready for war. Then died in a tornado. But they tried again and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese but then died in a tornado. Then the emperor overthrows the shogunate, then the shogunate overthrows him back then moves to kyoto and makes a new shogunate (ashikaga shogunate). The "emperor" can still dress like an emperor if he wants that's fine. 🎶Now there's more art🎶. Like painting with less colors, collaborative poetry, plays, monkey fun, tea parties, gardening, architecture, flowers. It's time for "who's going to be the next shogun?" Usually it's the shogun's kid, but the shogun doesn't have a kid. So he tries to get his brother to quit being a monk and be the next shogun, he says "✔ok." But then the shogun has a kid, so now who's it gonna be? Vote now on your phones, and everyone voted so hard (onin war) that the palace caught on fire and burned down. The shogun actually didn't care, he was off somewhere doing poetry. And the whole country broke into pieces (sengoku jidai). Everyone is fighting with each other for local power and it's anybody's game. Knock knock, it's Europe. No, they're not here to take over (yet). They just wanna sell some shit. Like clocks and guns and 🎶jesus🎶. So that's cool, but everyone's still fighting each other for control. Now with guns!! and wouldn't it be nice to control the capital (kyoto)? Which right now is puppets with no one controlling them. This clan (imagawa) is ready to make a run for it, but first they have to trample this smaller clan (oda) which is in the way. Surprise! the smaller clan wins and the leader of that clan (oda nobunaga) steals the idea of invading the capital and invades the capital. And it goes very well 👍. He's about halfway through conquering Japan when someone who works for him kills him, then someone else who works for him kills them. And that guy (toyotomi hideyoshi) finishes conquering Japan. And then he confiscated everybody's swords. And made some rules (no having a sword (or a gun) no climbing the social ladder pay taxes). "and now I'm going to invade korea and then hopefully china" he said and failed, and also died. But before he died he told these five guys (council of 5 elders) (ukita hideie, uesugi kagekatsu, mori terumoto, tokugawa ieyasu, maeda toshiie) to take care of his five-year-old son until he's old enough to be the next ruler of Japan. And the five guys said, "Yeah, right. It's not gonna be this kid. It's gonna be one of us. Cuz we're grownups. And it's probably gonna be this guy (tokugawa ieyasu) who happens to be way more rich and powerful than the others. A lot of people support him, but a lot of people support not supporting him. They have a fight and he wins. And starts a new government right here, 🎶Edo🎶 and he still lets the "emperor" dress like an emperor and have very nice things, but don't get confused, this is the new government (tokugawa family) and they're very strict. So strict they closed the country. (sakoku 鎖国 closed country) No one can leave and no one can come in. Except for the Dutch if they wanna buy and sell shit, but they have to do it right here (dejima). Now that the entire country was not at war with itself, the population increased a lot, business increased, schools were built, roads were built, everyone learned to read, books were published, there was poetry, plays, sexy times, puppet shows, and dutch studies. People started to study european science from books they bought from the dutch. We're talking geography, skeletons, physics, chemistry, astronomy, and maybe even electricity. Over time, the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow down. Knock knock. It's the United States. With huge boats. With guns. Gunboats. "Open the country. Stop having it be closed." Said the United States. There's really nothing they can do so they signed a contract that lets the united states, britain, and russia visit japan any time they want. choshu and satsuma hated this 👎. "That sucks." They said. "This sucks!!!" and with almost very little outside help, they overthrew the shogunate (boshin war) and somehow made the emperor (emperor meiji) emperor again and moved him to Eto which they renamed "Eastern Capital". They made a new government, which was "a lot more western" (-new york times review). They made a new constitution (meiji constitution) that was pretty western. And a military that was pretty western (large). And do you know what else is Western? That's right, it's conquering stuff. So what can we conquer? Korea. So they conquered Korea. Taking it from its previous owner, china, and then got a little further and Russia rushes in out of nowhere and says, "stop, no, you can't take that we were gonna build a railroad through here to try to get some warm water." and Russia builds their railroad, supervised by a shit ton of soldiers. And then when the railroad was done they downgraded to A FUCK TON. Did I say downgrade? I meant upgrade. And Japan says "can you maybe chill?" and then Russia says "How About Maybe You Chill?" Japan is kinda scared of Russia. You'll never guess who's also kinda scared of Russia. Great Britain! So Japan and Great Britain make an alliance so they can be "a little less scared of Russia". Feeling confident, Japan goes to war against Russia (russo-japanese war) just for a moment and then they both get tired and stop. 🎶it's time for World War 1🎶 The World is about to Have A War. Cuz it's the 1900s and weapons are getting crazy and all these empires are excited to try them out on each other. Meanwhile, Japan has been enjoying conquering stuff and wants MORE. the next thing on their list is this part of China (qingdao) and lots of tiny islands (palau, marianas, carolines, marshall islands). But all that stuff belongs to Germany, who just had war declared on them from Britain because Britain was friends with Belgium which was being trespassed by Germany so they could get to France to kick France's ass because France is friends with Russia who is getting ready to kick Austria's ass because Austria was just about to kick Serbia's ass because someone from Serbia shot the leader of Austria's ass. Or... actually they shot him in the head. And Britain is currently friends with Japan, so you know what that means. Duh. 🎶japan should take the islands🎶 which they wanted to do anyway. So they called Britain on the tele(gram) to sort of let them know (can we take the islands thanks). Then they did it. And they also helped Britain a little here and there with some errands and stuff. Now the war is over and congratulations Japan! you technically fought in the war which means you get to sit at the negotiating table (paris peace conference) with the big dudes where they decided who owns what. And yes, Japan gets to keep all that shit they stole from Germany. You also get to join the post-war mega alliance 🎶the League of Nations🎶 whose mission statement is to try not to take over the world. The great depression is bad and Japan's economy is now crappy. But the military is doing just fine and it invades manchuria. And the League of Nations is like, "no, don't do that, if you're in the league of nations you're not supposed to take over the world!" and Japan said 🎶"how bout i do anyway?"🎶 and Japan invaded more and more and more and more of China. and was planning to invade the entire East. You've got mail! It's from Germany, the new leader of Germany. He has a cool mustache and he's trying to take over the world and needs friends. This also got forwarded to Italy. They all decided to be friends because they had so much in common. 🎶it's time for World War 2! (the sequel)🎶 Germany is invading the neighbors then they invade the neighbor's neighbors then the neighbor's neighbor's neighbors who happen to be Britain said 🎶"holy shit"🎶 and the United States started helping Britain because they're 🎶good friends🎶 and they started not helping Japan because 🎶"their friends and our friends are not friends" "plus they're planning on invading the entire ocean"🎶 the United States is also working on a large very huge bomb (atom bomb). "bigger than any other bomb, ever™" just in case. But they still haven't joined the war. War looks bad on TV and the United States is really starting to care about their image. But then Japan spits on them in Hawaii (pearl harbor) and then challenges them to war. They say yes. And then Germany, as a symbol of friendship ❤, declares war on the United States also. So the United States goes to war in Europe. And they help the gang chase Germany back into Germany and they also start chasing Japan back into Japan. And they haven't used the bomb yet, and they're curious to see if it works. So they drop it on Japan (hiroshima). They actually dropped two (nagasaki). The United States installed a new government inspired by the United States government. With just the right ingredients for a 🎶post-war economic miracle🎶 and Japan starts making TVs, VCRs, automobiles, and camcorders as fast as they can and also better than everybody else. They get rich. And the economy goes wild. And then the miracle wears off. But everything is still pretty cool I guess. 🎶Bye🎶

Destruction of Government Property

Prompt: GEE I WONDER WHAT IT IS?!?

Author: @destielthedeathofme

Pairing: Dean x Cas

Tags/Genre: Marine!Dean Husband! Cas, fluff, oneshot. A bit of angst.

Summary: Castiel’s heart dropped when he gets the call. It can’t be. No way. He doesn’t want to answer.

~♡~

Castiel snuggled into the couch, worrying about Dean more so than usual.

Dean had left a couple of days ago, and there always is a burning pain in his gut when he does.

Castiel would never tell Dean to quit his job. Dean was a marine and Castiel was damn proud of him for it. But these were the days Castiel thought if it was worth it. If the constant fear of…. fear of….. He couldn’t even bring himself to say it. If anything happend to Dean.

No. No more bad thoughts. Dean hated it when Cas fussed over him like this. Castiel soon dozed off, Dean’s smile on his mind

Castiel woke up to his phone ringing.

His heart dropped after the caller ID showed Ben.

Ben was the corporal in Dean’s unit. Why would he call Cas? Unless…no.

Castiel’s hand shook as he set his phone down. No no no no no. He can’t pick up the phone. His heart won’t take it, he can’t.

After the ringing stopped, Castiel started to cry. Hands in his hair, Castiel sobbed. Dean couldn’t be, no.

Then the ringing started again. Castiel picked up his phone. He had to be brave. He had to be brave for Dean.

Castiel picked up the call,“Hello?” he croaked.

Shit he sounded like he’d been crying. Castiel covered the speaker and cleared his throat.

“Hello yeah Cas? So I have to talk to you about something,” Ben said sounding dead serious.

Castiel stifled a sob. Oh no, oh no oh no.

“Yeah Ben? What is it?” Cas said letting the tears fall.

“You’re in a bit of trouble for harming government property.” He said almost laughing.

Wait what the fuck? Castiel wiped his eyes. What the actual hell was Ben talking about? Cas had barely left the house this month because Dean was home.

Cas was a teacher and it was summer. There was literally nothing he could have done.

“Uh sorry what? Ben what are you talking about?” Cas was utterly and completely confused.

“There’s a hickey on my best liteunanent and that is unacceptable. It’s visible in his uniform. Don’t repeat that again. Understand?” Ben didn’t hold his laughter in much longer. He was howling along with Dean who was laughing too.

Castiel stared at his phone too relieved to even reply.

Before Cas could say anything, Dean took the phone from Benny.

“Hey Cas please don’t be mad I love you.”

Castiel could hear the grin in his voice. Castiel took a deep breath.

“Dean Samuel Winchester do you know how worried I was? I hate you!” Castiel fumed.

“Aw come on Cas, don’t be like that.I’ll make it up next time I’m home.” Dean said smirking

Cas softly smiled, “Fine but I guess I can’t give you hickies anymore.”

“Noo I mean I think Benny can let a few more slide, right Benny?.” Dean said.

Castiel heard Benny scream,“Ew get a room.”

Castiel laughed

“Love you Cas.” Dean said

“Love you Dean.”

Castiel ended the call.

Oh when Dean is home again he’s going to be in trouble for DESTRUCTION of government property. Cas smirked.