but you will probably see more c:

Sugar bowl facts

After couple of years sugaring this is what I’ve observed regarding SD/SB sites

-what I’ve recently read and which is 100% accurate, anyone worth of knowing won’t be in such sites. Full. Stop.

-most of men that have profiles are in best case upper middle class guys. You won’t find a multimillionaire sitting behind his computer chasing girls online. Would you? I wouldn’t. Reality is all of true rich men have access to upscale bars, clubs, restaurants, country clubs, lounges where they can meet dozens of beautiful women, DAILY. In worst case he will book a girl trough established agency (his assistant will) if he is more of an introvert or has no time for socializing.

-top income on these site is NOT above 200k after taxes. And majority of those men are MARRIED, which means his wife has access to his cards/accounts and has knowledge of his financial behavior, do you think she won’t be suspicious if all of a sudden large amounts start missing from his account? Of course she will. Other are divorced with couple of kids, which means ALIMONY. So don’t expect mind blowing amounts spent on you.

-if he offers out of the blue 10k + apartment + car, most likely it is a SCAM. In order a man to be eligible for such spending on someone else his income should be at least 700-800k after taxes. In average, a man won’t spend more than 20% of his income on you. How do y'all think a man who earns 200k-300k will just drop half of his money on you? He also has daily/monthly/yearly expenses of his own. He’ll just go broke because of you? NO. Be realistic.

-there probably is one who is able to spend such amounts on you as mentioned above but finding him on these sites would be a pure luck. Like jackpot once in a blue moon.

-if he doesn’t discuss your allowance and what exactly he can offer in first few messages, he is probably not a legitimate SD, or just a Splenda most likely salt. A real SD knows the game. Don’t fall for that “make me a proposal/offer”. That’s BS.

-if he only offers to communicate via Skype he is almost sure a SCAM. Never settle for this type of communication, either he can video call via Viber or FaceTime. Say you don’t use Skype. Not negotiable.

-if he isn’t ready to provide his photos in first few exchanged texts, DROP him. There is no valid excuse for this. Unless he is on Forbes 100. Or running a Fortune 500 company. Which isn’t close to impossible. Always choose video call over exchanging photos. (What i recently witnessed was a man who sent me photos of a dead US businessman, he probably thought if we are from Europe I won’t know this) -luckily there is google image search

-ALWAYS and I repeat always try with google reverse image search. Also look up his number.

-if he refuses to tell you his full name there is a good reason behind it, a BAD one. Leave him.

-Under NO circumstances negotiate the sexual part of an arrangement, he exactly knows what he will be getting. You get the “dos and donts ” question, block him, real SD never asks such questions over the phone.

-make sure you discuss about his stated budget. Ask if those are his spending habits or he would be actually willing to spend that on you. Does that include only your allowance or it includes all of the monthly expenses he would have regarding you (e.g. Trips, dinners, gifts, shopping sprees etc)

-don’t be shy to ask anything you want to know prior to your meet, if you have any doubts or unclear stuff, ASK.

-if you are traveling/flying out to meet him make sure all of your transportation/flight tickets/hotel room is paid in full, IN ADVANCE, with email confirmation of the receipts which are NON REFUNDABLE. He can always cancel your hotel booking for example.

-if he asks you to fly out but to buy your own tickets and he’ll reimburse you when you meet, NEVER do this!!! Real SD would never ever propose such situation, or he will send you money prior to your meet so you can purchase it, if he doesn’t want it to be shown on his credit card.

-always bring your own money to a pot date, no matter if it’s just a coffee date or dinner or flying over to other city/country. Remember, he can walk out on you any time and leave you out to dry. Imagine if you don’t like him really and need to for example take another room, take your ticket earlier, take a taxi home etc, possibilities are endless. Make sure you are SAFE regarding funds.

-NEVER send more than 4 photos (2 showing your face and upper body and two showing your body from different angles/poses) any of these men asking for more are pic collectors. Whenever you can choose a video call over exchanging photos.

-if you meet him and he looks different than his photos LEAVE immediately. EVACUATE. Code RED. You think he is providing something substantial if he can’t even provide a proper photo of himself? NO.

-Never ever agree to unprotected sex. No excuses are valid enough. Even though you are in a long term arrangement he probably is seeing other women too. Unless he’ll provide you a STD check (HIV, HPV, HEP a, b, c too) not older than 48h prior to your rendezvous, from a clinic you personally chose. Medical checks, reports can be forged.

-make sure that you first get your end before giving him his part of the bargain. FIRST THE MONEY THEN THE HONEY. No peep shows, no trial periods, no compatibility checks. You see a meal you never tried in a restaurant, decided to order from the menu, you didn’t really like it, yet you still have to pay for it? YES.

-Do not fall for the first man that texts you, sugaring REQUIRES patience and practice.

-Do not settle for exclusivity unless all of your monthly expenses are fully covered plus there is spending money left, and enough for at least a month if he drops you out of the blue. Don’t think you will ever be his one and only.

-When he says NO DRAMA in his profile text that means no drama from you, not from him. No PROs or ESCORTs means he can’t afford one or he can’t afford to be screened, because he has something to hide - something BAD.

-if he is not able to meet in few days after your initial conversation he is most likely a TIME WASTER, or if he books you a ticket and not confirm two three days before the actual meet do not go, unless you want a free trip and have an interest of your own visiting that place.

-if he offers less than a 5* hotel accommodation, drop that cheap ass, he probably is just a SALT.

-when he states most important things for him are connection and affection he has no intention of compensating for your time.

-there is no UPPER age limits for being a sugar baby, you think he wouldn’t date J-Lo ? Yes he would but he can’t afford it! When guy says he prefers very young girls it’s because he knows they are easier to trick and have lack of experience.

-REMEMBER: if something is too good to be true it’s because it usually is. Don’t fall for words, SEEING is BELIEVING.

-if he somehow gets uncomfortable when getting a bill in the restaurant or makes comments on prices or starts making a face, never see him again, no real SD will make a comment over couple of bucks. If possible, check how much he tipped the waiter.

-if he says along the way he isn’t into luxury and prefers something more humble/down to earth, leave that mofo, YOU ARE a LUXURY.

-if he is too demanding compared to what he is providing, he is actually using you, do not fall for that (ask for way to many photos/text exchange etc)

Always keep this small reminder in your head.

Happy sugaring!!!

5

April’s Featured Game: ARCADEA

DEVELOPER(S): Aishin
ENGINE: RPGMaker VX Ace  
GENRE: Fantasy, Adventure, Puzzle
WARNINGS:  N/A
SUMMARY: In the world of Arcadea, people can accomplish their dreams. How? Through video games of course! Everybody who lives in Arcadea has a special arcade machine they can visit in their dreams that lets them fulfill their strongest wishes. Whether it’s to go on an adventure, or make friends, or fall in love, or solve a mystery, or completely start a new life, there’s a game made just for them..
The game follows Maisie, a new arrival to Arcadea. She’s not very interested in all this gaming stuff; her only goal is to find an important person. But along the way, she can’t help but be roped into other people’s problems. She also can’t help that the arcade machines seem to glitch around her. A lot.

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Keep reading

Dex drops to his knees. “This cannot be happening.” Dimly, in the background noise of the utter ruin of his whole entire life he hears Nursey says, “Chill.”

“King Solomon himself could not have come up with a solution more wise,” Bitty says.

Dex wants to die right now. Just sink through the floorboards and expire. Sharing Lardo’s room with Derek Nurse. Seeing sleepy Derek Nurse with morning scruff and tired eyes, electric Derek Nurse hunched over his poetry notebook. Shit. Fuck. Shit.

“Don’t worry,” Nurse says. “I give it until September before you move out. Maybe October.”

Dex grinds his teeth.

“Chill,” Derek says again, and Chowder pokes his head into the room.

Keep reading

{PART 12} I Won’t Stop You (M) // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU

Originally posted by jengkook

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Vampire!AU, Fantasy, Angst, Smut

Summary; After the best and worst day of your life to date, you find yourself back at Jungkook’s Manor. You hope your first night there will be a quiet and uneventful one; but Jungkook has other ideas in mind.

I update this series every Tuesday evening, 9pm-10pm (UK Time)

Warning: This chapter contains scenes of a sexual nature.

{Part 1}// {Part 11} {Part 12} {Part 13}

Keep reading

Valentine’s Day

“can you do an imagine of your bestfriend and your crushs friend are going out so one day your crush and friends boyfriend go pick you guys up from the movies and then you guys go to your crushes house and you guys hangout and it’s awkward at first between you guys but then you guys end up admitting each others feelings after walking around outside alone while your friend and her boyfriend are inside”

I know it’s been YEARS but I finally finished another imagine! Where I live Valentine’s Day is almost over; I probably missed the deadline completely for a lot of you. In any case, I hope you enjoy it, and happy (belated?) Valentine’s Day! ;)

Word count: 2.5k


The bright afternoon sunlight hits your face, nearly blinding you as you and your best friend exit the dimly lit movie theater. “Ahh, my eyes,” you shriek, shielding your face with your hands.

(F/n) grunts in agreement. “I feel like a vampire exiting my coffin for the first time.”

“Strange analogy. Even stranger that it makes sense.”

(F/n) pulls out her phone, looks at the screen, and puts it back in her pocket.

“Is he on his way?” you ask, referring to her boyfriend, who agreed to pick the two of you up.

“Yeah. (C/n) is coming too,” says (f/n), looking sideways at you. You can’t hide anything from your best friend, and though you haven’t said anything outright, she can tell you’re interested in (c/n).

“Okay,” you reply nonchalantly.

(F/n) laughs. “Oh, come on, I know you like him. When are you going to do something about it?”

You sigh, dropping the act. “I don’t know. We’re not that close yet…and anyway, I don’t like him that much!”

“Puh-lease! You’re obsessed with him. It’s plain as day.” (F/n) elbows you teasingly. “And apparently the four of us will be going to his house today, so this is your chance to get close!” She winks.

You try to control the bubbling excitement. You’ve been to your crush’s house maybe once or twice before, what with him being close friends with (f/n)’s boyfriend. But, due to your crippling awkwardness, you can barely hold a conversation with him. Maybe today will be different. After all, the romantic movie you and (f/n) just watched has inspired you a little.

A car pulls up in front of the theater and honks obnoxiously. “Shut up, we’re coming,” (f/n) hollers through the open window at her boyfriend, (c/f/n). She opens the door and climbs into the shotgun seat, leaving the back seat to you…and presumably (c/n). You wipe your palms on your pants and open the door.

And there he is, grinning at you as you climb in and sit down next to him. “Hey, (y/n),” he says, and that simple greeting is suddenly the sexiest, smoothest thing you’ve ever heard. You sigh involuntarily, then quickly remember yourself and try to act cool. “Oh, hey, (c/n),” you reply, buckling your seat belt.

“So. Your house, (c/n)?” asks (c/f/n) as he pulls out of the parking lot.

“Yeah, my parents aren’t home so we can get turnt,” (c/n) jokes. “As in, like, bust out the root beer.”

You laugh, a little too loudly, considering it wasn’t that funny. (F/n) is right, you’re really not subtle about your crush. But thankfully, (c/n) seems oblivious.

“You can stay pretty late, too, if you want,” he continues.

Turning away to face the window, you smile a little to yourself. Spending the whole evening with (c/n) sounds like a pretty good time to you. You just hope you won’t screw anything up with your awkwardness.

(C/f/n) pulls into (c/n)’s driveway and you all hop out. When you’re all inside the house, (c/n) grabs a few root beers from the fridge. You take one from him and your fingers touch for a second.

You crack open the soda, enjoying the satisfying fizz. “Cheers,” says (c/n), holding out his can. You and your friends laugh and bump cans and then collapse onto the living room couches together. (F/n) and (c/f/n) immediately cuddle up next to each other on the loveseat. Meanwhile, you and (c/n) sit on armchairs opposite each other, occasionally making awkward eye contact.

“Hey, baby, I have something for you,” says (c/f/n) suddenly, reaching into his back pocket. As you and (c/n) look on with interest, he pulls out a small jewelry box and hands it to (f/n). She gasps before even opening it. “No way! You didn’t have to!!” she shrieks. Then she opens the box gently to reveal a beautiful chain necklace, and shrieks even more. You laugh quietly, enjoying her happiness, as she pounces on her boyfriend and hugs him tightly.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” (c/f/n) says with an affectionate grin. Your good mood evaporates as you remember what day it is. Your least favorite holiday, this is the one day a year when you are constantly forced to acknowledge that you are single, and probably will be for the rest of your life. Seeing happy couples together only worsens the constant suffering of this wretched holiday. Unfortunately, the couple in front of you is no different. As cute as they are, you suddenly feel like an incredibly awkward spectator to their romantic moment. Sneaking a quick glance at (c/n), you can tell he feels the same.

As your friend and her boyfriend start making out, (c/n) meets your eyes and attempts an awkward smile. His face is a little pink, and you’re sure yours is even redder. What an uncomfortable atmosphere to be sitting in with your crush.

Finally (c/n) clears his throat. Your friends continue unperturbed. (C/n) sighs, rolls his eyes playfully at you, and picks up the TV remote, turning it on. The weather report comes on at full volume, startling your friends out of their makeout session. “Oh, sorry,” (f/n) says breathily, giggling when she sees your exasperated faces. She makes eye contact with you, and you raise an eyebrow, jerking your head in (c/n)’s direction as if to say, Thanks a lot for making this awkward!

(F/n) just winks back before grabbing the remote from (c/n). “For fuck’s sake, put on something other than the weather!” She flips through the channels and stops abruptly when a rerun of High School Musical appears. “Hell yes. This is my favorite movie ever.”

You chuckle and settle back in your armchair, taking a sip of your root beer and trying to relax. Though the movie is moderately entertaining, your mind is occupied by (c/n)’s presence just a few feet away. You try to force your eyes to stay on the screen, but despite your best efforts, they continually wander over to (c/n) in his armchair watching him as he watches the movie. The light from the TV screen gives his face an ethereal glow. He is so pretty, you can’t help but think. So. Pretty. At one point he senses you staring and turns to look at you, tilting his head to the side inquisitively. You quickly look away, cheeks burning.

“KISS! KISS! COME ON! DO IT!” (F/n) barks out from her perch on (c/f/n)’s lap, and your head snaps in her direction. Thankfully, she seems to be yelling at the TV. Troy and Gabriella are leaning in, gazing romantically into each other’s eyes as they get closer and closer. But for like the third or fourth time, they’re interrupted before they get the chance to kiss. Damn, the sexual frustration must really be getting to them by now. “NOOO!” moans (f/n) dramatically, falling back into (c/f/n)’s arms.

“Drama queen,” he teases. “Don’t act like you haven’t seen this a thousand times.”

“Every time, I believe in them, and every time, I am let down,” (f/n) sighs. “Come on, let’s show them how it’s done.” She straddles his lap and plunges them both into what looks like another long makeout session.

You sigh and scratch your neck, as if the discomfort is an itch you can rub out. But the uneasy feeling persists. You avoid meeting (c/n)’s eyes, knowing your face is probably bright pink again. At last, unable to stand the awkwardness, you stand up. “Okay, I think I should leave you two alone,” you announce casually. There’s little response. It’s unlikely that either of them can hear anything you’re saying. “I’m just gonna go outside for a bit. Have fun, use protection, don’t forget to breathe!”

As you start to leave, (c/n) jumps up too. “I’ll come with!” he says quickly. “No way am I third wheeling for the rest of the movie.”

He follows you out the door, and for a moment you stand together on the porch, unsure of what to do. “Shall we go for a stroll?” (c/n) proposes overdramatically.

“Oh, yes, let’s,” you reply in a silly high-pitched voice. You immediately feel stupid, kicking yourself internally. But (c/n) laughs anyway and starts walking, so you follow him on a slow path around the house.

“Good thinking, getting out of there while you could,” he says, nudging your arm with his elbow. You try to calm the nerves that are firing up inside you, making you jittery. “Thanks, it was my defense mechanism against aggressive PDA. I’ve picked it up after years of Valentine’s Days.”

“Not your favorite holiday?” (C/n)’s mouth curves upwards, looking sideways at you in amusement.

You make a face. “God no. I hate Valentine’s Day. I’m convinced it was created purely to make single people like me feel bad about themselves.” You stop yourself before you can launch into your familiar rant.

“Well, I like the part where you get to eat ice cream and cry alone,” (c/n) jokes.

“While listening to sad music,” you add. “There’s no way you do that though!”

“What? Surprised? I have a sensitive side too!” he chuckles. You fake a shocked look, while secretly dying inside. Who’d have thought you’d be strolling alone with your crush, talking about romance? And to top it off, the sun is starting to set.

You reach the front of the house again. From here, you can see the sun sinking over the horizon. Without speaking, you stop walking and stand together in the front yard, watching the sky slowly getting set on fire.

As beautiful as it is, you’re again distracted by the presence of your crush, this time right next to you. You glance sideways at him, thinking, This view is so much better though! Then you realize he’s looking sideways at you too, a small smirk on his lips. You quickly look back at the sky. Why is this becoming a pattern? Control yourself! You curse inwardly.

The sky grows darker and you start to shiver. You have a sweater on, but considering it’s the middle of February, the fabric is quickly becoming too thin to keep you warm. (C/n) notices and furrows his eyebrows. “Are you cold?”

“No,” you lie through your chattering teeth.

(C/n) smiles and, in one easy movement, pulls his sweatshirt off. “Put this on.” He holds it out to you.

“Keep it, I’m fine,” you insist.

He shrugs nonchalantly. “I don’t need it, I’m too hot anyway.”

“Yeah you are,” you shoot back flirtatiously before you can stop yourself. (C/n) looks at you in faint surprise and chuckles. You blush and quickly grab the sweatshirt, putting it on. You breathe in the heavenly smell, trying not to be obvious. Oh man, you’re wearing his hoodie. Could it get any better than this?

Apparently it could, because just then (c/n) reaches around you and rubs your arm with his hand to warm it up. “Better?” he asks, grinning.

“Uh huh,” you reply breathlessly. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” You wait for him to move away, shove his hands back into his pockets, or even turn around to go back inside. But he doesn’t. His arm remains circled around your waist, holding you against him. You breathe out slowly, trying to stay calm even though you’re certain you must be dreaming. Real life does not go like this. And more importantly, good things just don’t happen to you on Valentine’s Day.

Your mind flashes back to (f/n) and her boyfriend. The sky is dark and starry now, indicating that some time must have passed. You wonder why no one has come to look for you or called you back inside, but you figure (f/n) must have something to do with it. Thank goodness your friend knows when you need to be left alone.

To break the silence, you say, “Think they’re done making out yet?”

(C/n) laughs lightly. “Probably not,” he responds. A moment passes before he adds, “Besides, this is nice.”

“Yeah,” you agree. “I don’t spend enough time outside. I didn’t even know this many stars were visible from where we live.”

“Amazing what you discover when you’re not huddled in your room on the internet,” he teases.

“Painfully accurate,” you admit. “I leave the house for one day and I get to wear a boy’s sweatshirt. I should try this more often.” After the sentence leaves your mouth you realize how awkward it is, but you can’t take it back now. You wait anxiously for (c/n)’s reaction, but it’s nothing like you’re expecting.

“I get to watch the sunset with a pretty girl, so I think I’m the real winner here.” His arm tightens slightly around you. You turn your face towards him, trying to read his expression. He smiles gently down at you. “(Y/n), I don’t want to be too forward or anything…but I can’t keep this a secret anymore. I really, really like you.”

Your mouth flops open clumsily as your mind races, trying to make sure you didn’t hear him wrong. “Uhh. You mean, like…like-like?”

(C/n) chuckles. “Yes, (y/n), I like-like you. I’ve had a crush on you for, like, ever.” His eyes, shining in the darkness, search yours. “Is there any chance that…I don’t know, maybe…you might feel the same way?”

It would be impossible to fight the grin that splits your face. “Are you kidding? I like you so much, you have no idea!”

“Oh my God” is all (c/n) says before crashing his lips onto yours. Taken completely by surprise, you stand frozen for a moment before melting into the kiss, throwing your arms around his neck. You feel completely delirious, giddy beyond belief at this literal dream-come-true. And it should be noted that (c/n)’s lips are even softer than in your dreams. It’s perfect. You’re in (c/n)’s sweatshirt, kissing under the stars, and it’s absolutely perfect.

Wrapped up in the kiss, you almost miss the muffled shout of “GET IT GIRL!” coming from the house. You pull apart and glance over to see (f/n)’s face pressed against the window, grinning from ear to ear. (C/n) starts to laugh and you join in, leaning your forehead against his.

“So, (y/n)…” (c/n) cups your face in his hands. “Still hate Valentine’s Day?”

You pretend to think it over. “Well, I guess I can make an exception for this one.” You smile up at him and he grins back, pulling your face towards his once more.

I am anything but naturally smart. I have to study my ass off to get the grades that others who start studying the night before the test might get. To show some diversity in the studyblr community - because no, you don’t have to be the next Albert Einstein to run a studyblr - I decided to show you guys how I study.

You’ve probably heard of the different learning styles out there and everyone seems to fit into one of them. I do not, I need 4 stages of studying until I’m good - hear, see, write and talk. So let me explain what I do. c:

1. I go to lectures!
• I never really read the texts because I don’t get what’s important anyways. Having someone just telling me all the important info is way more convenient for me.
• So lectures and classes really help! I (almost) never miss them!
• I take notes while I’m there, it helps me to focus and remember the info later on.
• And yes, I actually listen and try to participate in classes!

2. I re-read my notes and powerpoints!
• I try to re-read them as soon as possible after classes
• It really helps me to keep everything in mind since it’s a mini revision
• In powerpoint presentations, diagrams help me to visualize; my brain usually saves the images like a computer

3. I write it all down!
• Reading / seeing only isn’t enough for me, but I don’t just re-write my notes I’m too lazy for this actually
• Instead, I try to combine my own notes with the information in the powerpoints
• I try to use my own words because I like it simple
• What I write are little summaries which I divide by each subject, so usually I have one for each lesson

4. I talk to myself!
• It’s the last study step for me
• When I think I get everything and I will remember it, I test myself by telling myself everything I know
• If I fail, I switch between reading the summarys and talking back and forth until I finally get it.

And that’s it. This is how I personally study. This is probably a lot of extra work and it won’t work for everyone, but it does for me. Also keep in mind that I’m in university. I learned in a differend way back in school, but this is my method for keeping a ton of information in mind, like I have to now.
Another disclaimer: I don’t always have the time to get deeply into each of these steps. I always do my best and try to think realistically.

If you still have questions, don’t be afraid to send me an ask.
Have a nice day, everyone! ♥

Accidents Happen

Imagine Donatello accidently emailing you.
He has a habit of typing long, passionate emails to people when he’s angry or upset but he’s never upset with you.
He just loves you too much.
So he writes you an email, typing up all the things about you that drive him crazy.
About how beautiful you are, how much he loves your small hands (he could hold them forever) and hair (he’s sorry that he messes with it so much, he can’t help it). And your smile. Oh, he loves your smile.
But mostly, he loves talking to you.
He loves having someone he can talk with for hours and yet, never be bored. Your conversations are never empty or meaningless.
They’re silly and serious and interesting and everything to him. He loves when you talk and text about everything, anything that comes to mind. Life, books, weird things, science things…and love. You talk about love.
He writes about your conversation the other day, asking you is you noticed that he couldn’t stop staring at you. If you noticed that his heart rate speed up or the catch in his voice. If you did notice that, it was only because he was nervous.
It’s a bit difficult, talking about love with someone you’re pretty sure you might actually be in love with (Him, in love! How crazy is that?) and knowing that they probably don’t feel the same way.
He doesn’t blame you though. The heart wants what the heart wants and his seems to want punishment. He pines after people he can’t have and, when he doesn’t get it, he only wants it more.
Imagine Donatello writing another impossibly long email, one that will never be read. He wonders just how many of thses he has written and deleted and how many more will follow. He goes to delete it but is startled by a rap on his door.
“Donnie? Master Splinter needs to see us.” Leonardo says.
“C-coming.”
He turns away from his computer, running after his brother and failing to notice the message on the screen.
Email Sent.

anonymous asked:

The chocobros reactions to dating their martial arts girlfriend, S/O!

Hello, my anonymous friend!

Sorry this took so long to get to you but here it is.  

Wrote this more as them reacting to seeing their s/o practicing martial arts … gave me more to work with! Hope this is ok for you. :)


N O C T I S

  • If the first time he saw you using your skills was in a battle scenario, he’d be super shocked and would probably wonder where you learned all those awesome looking moves.  That MT you just took out?  Yeah, it’s in bits and it’ll take him a second to pick his jaw up from the floor but he’ll soon snap back into it.
  • Back at camp, he’ll be full of questions.  Where did you learn those moves?  Why didn’t you tell him that you could move like that?  Why did you even bother with the Crownsguard self defence courses when, actually, you already knew how to defend yourself perfectly well without them?
  • Next time you’re training, he wants to watch, he might even try to talk you into teaching him a few of the simpler moves or holds so that he can try to surprise Gladio the next time they train together.  Inwardly, you think that Gladio could still counter Noctis quite easily but you still show him some of the simpler stuff, try to help him get it.  It might take a minute, but he’ll get there!
  • Might even try to talk you into training with Gladio just so he can watch you kick his ass … then laugh when that’s exactly what happens!
  • If the first time he saw you in action was back in Insomnia, at a competition or something like that, he’d be shocked that you compete so well but also SO proud that his s/o is out there kicking ass and taking names.
  • Threaten to throw him when he’s being a little shit?  Yeah, that’s gonna shut him up in a hurry.


P R O M P T O

  • Watches you take out an MT with a single kick and he literally stops paying attention and just watches you for a minute.  How did he not know that you could do that?!  It takes a thump on the back from Gladio to bring him out of his little trance, he blushes bright red because, yeah he was just caught staring and then moves right back into battle.
  • Wants to learn all the cool looking stuff RIGHT NOW.  Doesn’t want to wait.  Not tomorrow.  Not next week.  Not the easy stuff, either.  He wants to jump right in at the deep end, no matter what you try to tell him.
  • To shut him up, you try to teach him some of the really cool looking moves aaaaaaaand he faceplants.  Repeatedly.  Then realises that he’s trying to run before he can walk and bows to the benefit of your expertise.
  • He wants to come along whenever you go to train, even if he just wants to watch.  He enjoys spending time with you and he thinks it’s a good bonding opportunity, especially if you’ve shown him how to execute a few of the moves.  If he practices them with you, he’s super happy but, to be honest, sunshine boy is happy just spending the time with you.
  • If the first time he saw you was at a competition, he’d be your number one cheerleader, no questions asked.  Always cheering the loudest when you win a match, ready for a pep talk if you’re needing your head screwed on and ready with open arms if you lose your match.  Doesn’t matter if you win or not.  He’s just so proud that you were able to compete.


I G N I S

  • Seeing you cut loose and destroy an MT would surprise him, sure, but let’s be honest, Ignis isn’t a man who’d allow himself to be distracted by it.  There’s a battle ongoing around him and it’d be silly to endanger others by allowing himself a moment’s distraction.
  • Back at camp, though?  Be prepared to have a sit down chat with him.  He’ll wants all the info.  How long have you practiced your art?  Have you ever sustained any injuries?  Do you feel ok after the fight?  Can he help you out?  Iggy is all about making sure you’re good.
  • He makes sure that you have time and space to train.  He understands that being at the top of your game means that you need to take the time to keep up with your training.  He won’t join you, he’d prefer to make sure that you have a healthy, protein infused meal waiting for you by the time you get back.
  • Is impressed by your dedication.  It takes years of hard work and sacrifice to be that good at something and there you are, still loving it as though it was your first week.
  • Would be quietly proud of you while watching you compete in Insomnia.  I can totally see him wanting to take you out afterward regardless of whether to celebrate or commiserate.  He’d just want to spend time.
  • Injured?  Expect him to bend over backwards to help you get back to 100%.  Don’t dispute it, you’ll only spur him on.


G L A D I O

  • He’s used to being the one up front in a fight, his literal job title is SHIELD, after all.  He shields Noct, he shields you.  So you can imagine his surprise when you’re first in there.  He doesn’t try to stop you once he can see that you’re MORE than capable of holding your own and, actually, it means he can take a step back from shielding you. You can shield yourself.
  • He knows the dedication required to be at the top of your game and he’s glad that now he has someone to talk to about it.  He has to train a lot, so do you.  It’s something else you both have in common.  It takes its toll on a body, you can share your training stories - funny moments, injuries, epic fails … share!
  • Will want you to teach him how to counter your moves, in case he’s ever in a position where someone else is using them against him.  It’ll result in you kicking his ass a few times but it’s all in the name of learning something new so he’s a good sport.  When he gets it, he GETS it and it’s a job well done.
  • Like Noctis, wonders why you bothered taking the Crownsguard courses in self defence.  Wonders, too, whether Cor knew about your skills and that’s why you flew through them.  Hint; of course he knew.
  • He loves watching you compete at Insomnia competitions; king of the pre-match pep talk.  Loudest voice in the room when you win a match.  Also the loudest voice in the room if you lose a match.  Regardless, he’s all about being supportive and cheering you on.
  • Sore muscles after training?  No worries - it’s massage time!

holy hell, never ask me to draw ezra or design an outfit. i’m sorry u two.

ANYWAY i was thinking: you see a lot of ezra-corrupted-by-maul stuff (WHICH I LOVE) BUT rarely the other way around? ezra’s a good egg and i want more aus where he drags maul kicking and screaming into the light (or somewhere in-between the dark and light b/c lbr, maul is p. much surviving on pure dark side spite these days).

Kitten pt 18. Final.

You and Joker get in the shower together, he seems a little irritated but you brush it off. You wash your hair under the streaming hot water as Joker stares at you. Once you’re both clean you exit the shower first and grab a towel, wrapping it around yourself you grab Jokers towel and toss it to him. He hasn’t said a word to you since the incident downstairs. You can tell he’s mad and you don’t want to piss him off even more so you leave the bathroom and sit on the edge of the bed.

You run your fingers through your wet hair and get up, you walk to your closet and try to figure out what to wear. You grab a cute (F/C) knee length dress with a lace trim, black lace panties, a matching bra, (F/C) open toe stilettos, and a simple silver necklace with your birthstone in a heart. You start to get dressed as you ponder where the two of you are going, probably the club. You turn around and see Joker standing with his back against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. He’s wearing black dress pants with matching black shoes and a deep crimson button down shirt that’s halfway undone.

He watches you carefully, a lustful look in his eyes. “You know kitten, maybe we should skip dinner.” He laughs.

“No, I want to get out of the house. We’re going. Plus I haven’t been to the club in a while.” You adjust your dress and smooth it out.

“Oh, we’re not going to the club doll. I’ve made other plans.” He says, a mischievous grin playing on his lips.

“Oh? Okay.” You shrug it off, curious as to what he has planned. He stands in the doorway and gestures for you to come. You pass him and head down the stairs towards the front door.  He comes up beside you and places a hand on your waist as the two of you exit the mansion. He leads you to his purple chrome Lamborghini, he opens the door for you and bows dramatically; you chuckle a bit and get in the car. He closes the door and walks to the driver’s door and get in. The car roars to life and he peels out of the driveway, he turns the opposite direction of town and you tilt your head curiously.

He drives a ways outside of town and you begin to realize where he’s headed.

“oh no, please tell me you’re joking..” you laugh nervously.

“Oh kitten, I joke about a lot of things but this isn’t one of them,” he laughs and speeds up, nearing your destination.

He pulls into the Wayne manor driveway and parks his Lamborghini a little too close to Bruce’s Mercedes. You and Joker get out of the car, he walks over to your side and before you can open your mouth to protest Alfred opens the front door of the large home and beacons you two to come inside. Joker grabs your hand and pulls you inside. You sigh in defeat and greet Alfred with a warm hug.

“Hey Al, I’ve missed you. Have you been well?” you smile at the old butler you’ve loved as family since you were a child.

“Oh miss (y/n) I’ve been alright. I’m glad to see you, I trust you’ve been treated well?” he glares at Joker who returns the glare.

“Yes, he’s taking care of me. Where’s Dad?” you ask.

“Master Bruce is in his study and will be down shortly. I’ve informed him of your arrival. Please come to the dining hall.” He bows politely and you walk towards the dining room. Joker follows you and looks around at all of the artwork hanging from the walls.

You take your normal seat at the table next to Bruce’s seat. Joker sits at the other end of the table across from Bruce’s spot. Your father walks into the room and you stand, you run to him and wrap your arms around his neck.

“Daddy I missed you!” you smile and hug him tightly. Joker rolls his eyes and lets out a low growl.

“So Batsy, nice place ya got here. What for dinner big man?” he laughs and Bruce cuts a sharp glare to the clown.

“You’ll just have to wait and find out.” He answers coldly. Bruce squeezes you tightly in a loving embrace before he releases you to sit down. You sit next to him and smile. Alfred strolls into the room pushing a cart with tonight’s dinner on it. He serves everyone and makes his way to the corner of the room.

You smile, looking down at the plate of spaghetti in front of you. Alfred and Bruce know it’s your favorite so of course they’d make it.

“So, Joker. I trust you’ve been taking good care of my daughter? Because if not I’m kicking your ass and dragging you to Arkham. “ Bruce threatens.

“Oh batsy boy don’t worry. I’ve been taking care of her in every way. And I mean Every Way.” He laughs. Bruce begins to stand but you grab his arm. You glare at Joker and try to kick his leg under the table but hit the table leg instead. You bite your lip to keep from yelping and Joker laughs hysterically.

“Joker please, we’re trying to have a nice dinner.” You say softly.

You all sit in silence for a few minutes, you nibble on your food and watch as Joker just pokes at his with a fork. You clear your throat, “Um daddy can you please pass the salt?” you ask. You mentally kick yourself for what you just said as both Bruce and Joker reach for the salt. Bruce’s eyes fill with rage and Joker has a sadistic smile crossing his face.

“Fuck.” You mutter aloud, you reach between them and grab the salt from them. “Thanks,” you say and sit back down in your chair. Joker and Bruce glare at each other as you watch them you imagine different ways to loosen the tension. You come up with nothing sigh. You stand and excuse yourself from the table. “I’ll be right back, I need to use the restroom. Please don’t kill each other while I’m gone.”

“No promises.” They say in unison.

You make your way up the stairs to the restroom and lock the door behind you; you lean against it and slide down until you’re sitting on the floor. “Ugh,” you groan, conflicted and irritated. You think about what you’re going to do. On one hand you’re happy with Joker even if he is an ass sometimes but on the other hand you miss living here in Wayne manor with your father and Alfred, you never get to see your friends and every time Joker and Bruce see each other they’re always at each others throats.

Your train of thoughts is interrupted by a knock on the door. “Miss (Y/N), are you alright?” Alfred asks from the other side of the door.

“Oh, yeah. I’ll be back down in a moment,” you respond. You stand and straighten your clothes. You’ve made up your mind. You exit the bathroom and head down stairs to rejoin your father and Joker.

When you enter the room you sigh when you see Joker holding his shoulder, which has a batarang in it, with one hand and a gun pointed at your dad in the other.

“Okay you two enough, I’m tired of the fighting. I’ve made up my mind about what I’m going to do, no matter what I don’t want either one of you two to get angry. There will be some stipulations that go along with my decision but, the one I’m going to live with is _______.”

Going to the eyedoctor

My eye sight always sucked. Like I was wearing glasses since I was in kindergarden. Until I went and saw my new eyedoctor - that dude hooked me up.

When ur a kid and you wear glasses it’s totally obvious that your gonna be a nerd. They’re like this magnet that brings bullies to you, along with a fondness for comic books and bein good at math. No matter what I did, it seemed like I couldn’t NOT be a nerd so eventually I grew into it. Right down to the sweatervest and khakis I was wearing when I went in today

I used to be that guy…you know the one. That dude with the gleam in his eye cause he knows everything

The doctor saw that right away too.

“Hi,” he said. “Do you want to get red of those glasses?”

Yeah, duh doc. But contacts make my eyes itchy.

He had me take off the glasses and read a chart. It was so blurry I couldnt see any of the letters.

“lets make an adjustment” he said and clicked a piece of his equipment

It’s weird how you always get cold sitting in a doctors office. I shifted in the chair. His agro air conditioning was pushing through my basketball shorts and tshirt easily.

“How’s that?” he said

“I can see M U…then it gets blurry”

Click. Another adjustment…

I was shifting again in my chair. My muscles were totally sore from today. First I’d tossed around a football with the guys, then I’d gone and lifted. It was a good sore….

“I see like a M U…then it’s blurry… then there’s an S and some more blurry letters.

"How about now?” he clicked in another adjustment.

The chairs in these offices are always too damn small for a guy like me. It’s my own fault…but if u could put on muscle like I can, you’d pack it on too

“It looks like M U S C L E S…and then it gets blurry again…”

“Hm,” said the doc. “I think we’re getting close.”. He snapped on another adjustment.

This air con really was super bad. I don’t know why I wore a stringer top here…I mean I wear one like everywhere I guess. These guns just don’t fit into most shirts, and u gotta show off what u got anyhow.

Click. How about now he asked?

“Super close doc…” I said. “M U S C L E S somethin U somethin”. Lol, what did that spell? My brains so foggy that I can like barely read bro…whatever, reading was for nerds.

“Okay,” he said. “One more.”. And the world clicked jnto focus.

Shit…I had a total hard on tenting out my tight little gym shorts. If I moved wrong the doc would probably see my dickhead pop out.

“What do you see?” he said

“M. U. S. C. L. E. S. L. U. T….” I said.

We both sat there for a sec. I shifted in my chair and the head of my cock escape its shorts. The doc was looking at it. He wanted this.

“So…doc… do I need glasses?” I asked.

That broke him out of it. “No,” he said. “Glasses are for nerds”

I gave a deep laugh. No way was I a nerd. I looked in the mirror above his desk…my thick jaw and muscled body made me unquestionably a jock. And my dull eyes didn’t have a trace of smarts to em.

“So doc…” I said, peeling off my tank. “Just how do u like to get paid?”

BTS Reaction - Seeing you the first time

Jungkook: C'mon, He would not even think about talking to a girl, He needs a lot of encouragement of his Hyungs.

‘I don’t really know what a girl needs in a relationship.’

V: Would sit far away from you, He probably needs a wingman who’s gonna introduce him to you.

‘Hehe.. My Hyung already talked with you.. ㅋㅋ’

Jin: He would be confident, he’s not a little kid anymore, even if you dumped him he would not feel scared or anything like that.

‘Hello, I’m Jin, are you (Y/N)?’

Jimin: He knows he’s quite popular among the girls, so he thinks you would already know him ‘cause of medias and songs.

‘Hello, How are you?’

Namjoon: Would smile widely as he saw you, then smirk a little bit and puts his arm around your shoulders.

'Wowowow, I didn’t thought I would find someone as pretty as you here.’

Suga: Meets you at an fansign. You were not like the other fans, you did not scream or cry. Even weeks after he would remember you. He’s getting even happier as he sees you after some time again.

'Hey, I remember you! Are you alone here?’

J-Hope: Smiling his widest smile, he’s getting more nervous with every step to you. He heard a lot of you, he’s a fan since your debut.

'Hello! I’m sorry, but I’m a big fan of you, would you mind taking a picture with me?’

You would probably make a whole photoshoting sesion with his phone.


Hello! I’m back. This time with BTS.
C'mon guy’s nobody send in requests. :c
I wanna do something, I don’t care if it’s BTS, EXO or NCT.
Just send in. ♡

All the Love. -K.

(January the 19th, 2017)

NCT Masterlist

EXO Masterlist

BTS Masterlist

anonymous asked:

Hi there! My story has sorcerers in it who can use magical energy to heat up things, and they are called fire mages because that's the most visible result of heating stuff up to normal folk. But I realised they would rarely create flames since they'd need to combust something, and air can't combust like that. Is there any way I can work around that issue and still have them create visible fire around them without having to set their own clothes on fire?

As per the oft-quoted fire triangle, a fire requires oxygen, heat, and fuel. Assuming the air in your world is anything like the stuff we’re used to, the atmosphere will be about 78% nitrogen and 21% oxygen, so that takes care of the oxygen. Your sorcerers have somehow tricked the laws of physics into letting them heat things up at will, so that gets heat out of the way too. There might be a few ways to provide the necessary fuel, and these range from “downright practical” to “fraught with danger” to “inescapable doom.” Let’s consider each in turn, and then you can pick what you like best for your story.

Before we begin, there are a few world-building things we’ll need to take into consideration, specifically regarding the mechanics of how sorcery works in your story. I’m going to assume that sorcerers are not immune to fire/heat, and engage in otherwise normal behaviors like breathing oxygen in order to survive. If this is correct, then you’ll need to keep in mind that creating a large amount of fire around them could consume all available oxygen and cause them to suffocate. If the sorcerers can happily dance a jig in a bonfire without a care, then asbestos/fiberglass/nomex clothing + oil = scary flaming fire mage.

Some other questions you will need to answer for yourself might include:

  1. Is there a limit to how much energy a sorcerer can put into an object, or how quickly?  If they can only heat things to 100 °C at a rate of 1 °C per minute, then nothing I suggest here is going to work.  If they can heat things instantly to millions of degrees, then we have some more options.

  2. Does the sorcerer need to touch the object being heated, or maintain line-of-sight, or simply know that the object exists? Super-heating an object while still holding it could be problematic, but you’ll need to figure out how they are transferring energy if you opt for non-contact heating.  “Magic!” is certainly an answer, albeit not a very detailed one.

Now, onward to the burning!

For the downright practical route we can look to stage magic and theatrical flame effects, as there are many illusions that require a performer to produce fire out of nowhere. While propane is usually used for impressive plumes of flame, the storage and delivery systems are generally large, heavy, and not very portable. When a magician only needs a small amount of fire, the fuel of choice is nitrocellulose.

Originally posted by gifsaucarre

Cellulose is a sugar polymer (polysaccharide) made by chaining together glucose molecules, and it is the primary component of cell walls in green plants. As it is the main component of things like wood pulp and cotton, it is used to make things like paper and cloth, and with a little bit of chemistry it can be turned into something that burns with great enthusiasm. Any source of cellulose (tissue paper, cotton, string, etc.) can be nitrated by exposing it to concentrated nitric acid, converting it from (C6H10O5)n to (C6H7(NO2)3O5)n. The process itself is extremely dangerous and should not be attempted in an uncontrolled setting, and the resulting nitrocellulose, while moderately stable, is also known as gun cotton for a reason. It is used in stage magic because it is easy to ignite with a small flint-wheel mounted on a ring, it burns very quickly with a highly visible flame, and it produces a relatively small amount of heat, allowing performers to ignite it in their hands without suffering from thermal burns. Your sorcerers could carry around a supply of nitrocellulose and then heat it up to the ignition temperature whenever they needed some fire, but they would need to be fairly careful to avoid accidentally igniting the rest of it.

Moving on to fuels that are potentially fraught with danger, we can perhaps make better use of your sorcerers’ ability to magically heat objects at will. While I definitely would not recommend the use of liquid fuels like oil – they spread far too easily and the fires would very quickly get out of control – something like paraffin candle wax might work nicely. It should be readily available and easy to carry, and it could be cut into small chunks that your sorcerers could throw wherever they needed fire. The auto-ignition temperature is somewhere between 200-350 °C and the boiling point is slightly above 370 °C, and if magical heating can reach these temperatures then it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to toss a wax cube into the air and have it explode into a large ball of flame. You might run into trouble if you used too large a chunk of wax, as fast heating could cause molten/flaming wax to fly in all directions and start collateral fires or cause nasty burns to anyone in the vicinity.

Finally, we must discuss one option that can only lead to inescapable doom – using the air itself to achieve similar effects. Neither nitrogen nor oxygen will burn under normal circumstances, but if you’re willing to go to extremes and your magical heating doesn’t have an upper limit, there’s some weird chemistry and physics that starts to happen at ridiculously high temperatures. Let’s consider what would happen if your sorcerers started heating the air around them (and for a loosely related and more thorough treatment, see Randall Munroe’s Hair Dryer What If?). Once the air reaches about 525 °C it will become incandescent and glow a dull red, though it won’t be very visible until much higher temperatures. Between 1000-1500 °C it will be yellow- or white-hot, and the nitrogen will actually start reacting with oxygen to give various NOx species. This was the basis for an obsolete method to produce nitric acid, and the toxic fumes would not be great for anyone nearby. If you were to continue upwards to 30,000 °C you would start dissociating nitrogen molecules into individual atoms, and by 60,000 °C chemical bonds essentially cease to exist. Up over 100,000 °C you can start to ionize the atoms into a plasma by sheer thermal energy alone, but by that point (or significantly sooner) your sorcerers would have been well and truly cooked; furthermore, releasing that kind of energy into the environment would look a lot more like an explosion than a fire, assuming anyone survived to see it.

Given those options I might suggest carrying around a few extra candles, but if your sorcerers are in need of flames and must decide between the clothes on their backs and the air around them, setting fire to themselves is probably the more survivable option.  You could also have them magic up some phlogiston, but I’ll leave the use of superseded scientific theories up to you.

~J

Disclaimer

[20170416] B.A.P PARTYBABY in LA Fanaccount

Note: You all are probably tired of me saying this, but I am going to say it again ^^ Everything is written by memory, so everything is probably not exact and accurate. And I am so inconsistent with Junhong’s name, so forgive me if I keep saying Junhong then switching back to Zelo.

Also, If you don’t want to read all of the BS and wait I had to go through, you can just skip to the Songlist Section. And if you were tagged and don’t want to read this LONG post, just click ctrl+F and find your name to see where I tagged you, so you don’t have to waste your time ^^

Keep reading

Mettaton Headcanon 2

So here are some more Headcanons that I either forgot last time or came up afterwards c:

-He smells like banana and wallpaper glue

-He loves fruits, especially grapes and bananas. His favorite food is yogurt though (all monster food of course)

-His house is on a small hill and he has a garden with oleander, daphne and ivy, all poisonous plants

-He is friends with Muffet

-Alphys made him extensions for his hair, in many colors

-He loves his rectangular form very much (though I am sure that’s canon) and he owns a shirt with the rectangle as motive

-He is surprisingly soft. Only his chest, arms, shoulder thingies and partly his head are hard to the touch

-Mettaton prefers to not go out with a fan of his. He wants to keep them at a distant and tends to think they would just want his fame

-He has a lucky pig named Penelope. She vanishes like the annoying dog

-Whenever he gets the chance, and allowance, he dresses up Undyne. He even gave her one of his dresses. Mettaton loves to dress Alphys and Frisk up, too, but they normally allow him this anyway

-Mettaton likes to be perfect. Especially related to events he plans

-He is actually a good employer. He is strict yet fair, especially to Burgerpants

-He is a pretty hectic monster

-He doesn’t own a cell phone. His body would drain the battery power of it. He also can’t have a cell phone built inside is his body since it would drain HIS battery

-He loves summer. It’s his favorite season. His favorite weather are thunder storms, especially lightnings

-When someone pokes his palm/s, he curls his fingers. He doesn’t like being poked there

Object Literals are Dictionaries are Hash Maps are Useful

DAY 670

friend: i dont use dictionaries ever because i never really learned them

me: maybe this is javascript specific

me: but you use “object literals” a lot, and that’s really just a dictionary

me: i can see how in a strong OOP language, you’d just use a class instead

me: since an object behaves almost identically to an instantiated class object

me: i searched around in the code from my recent projects

me: looks like i use them in 3 kinds of places

me: The first type of usage is “actually looking up things in a dictionary” behavior, where you need a 1:1 relationship between a key/value pair:

me: if i’m doing something like stripping out dangerous characters from my html

me: i can basically use an object to save a lot of if/else statements and hardcoding values

me: “does this key exist in the object? if it does, replace it. if not, do nothing”:

me: The second type of usage I find is storing or passing around data in a group, pretty much like a class:

me: they’re also very useful for returning more than one value from a function:

me: and then the third type of usage that I always forget about is

me: lots of libraries and stuff use a big object to pass into a function

me: to avoid having a million arguments

me: so instead of `function doStuff(a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i)` you can pass in a single settings object like `function doStuff(settingsObject)`.

me: it’s hard to see it here but `$.ajax()` accepts a settings object with values for `type`, `url`, `async`, and `success` (and probably lots of other optional stuff):

friend: I don’t think I ever really made the connection of an object functions like a dictionary

friend: Even though that’s exactly what happens

me: i think that probably makes a lot more sense for people who use languages where it’s called a dictionary

me: it’s kinda weird

me: people variously call the same structure an object, a dictionary, and a hashmap

me: if you call them objects, that makes it really easy to remember that they can contain lots of data like instantiated class objects

me: if you call them dicts it’s easy to remember that they are good for setting up 1-to-1 relationships between key/value pairs

me: and if you call them hashes it’s easy to remember that they use hash functions to store and retrieve data, which makes them much faster to search than iterating through an array with the same contents

me: so once you learn all of those they start to seem pretty cool haha

friend: Hahahahahaha

friend: Yeah

friend: That’s a really good explanation

friend: I learned about all 3 of those things in school

friend: But they were never connected to each other

friend: I think if I’d learned it like that it’d have stuck a lot easier

friend: You should make a blog post about it

SanguineSwanqueen’s fic recs

This doesn’t include any in progress fics. And I probably left something off, but whatever. There’s three categories: smut, short, and full blown novel.


Smut* (these are all rated M or E)

Like You Want Me To by angstbotfic

Prompt: Your ladies are always capable of asking for what they need for their own pleasure but I feel like this might have been a process for R (b\c Leo’s an asshat, thinking TL is more than she deserves, etc). I would love to see E help her through these issues to a place where she’s comfortable “directing” E to make her own experience more pleasurable. I really like the emotional aspect to this, also it’s super hot.

My Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Dental Dams  by serious fic

Regina just wants to make sure Henry is safe. A quick vision of the future, that’s it. She wasn’t expecting to get a look at her and Emma waking up in each others’ arms… or what they did in the shower.This starts out mostly as filth, but then it gets adorable.

Allergy Season by inkheart 1459 rated M

Emma really hates allergy season. It turns her into a sneezing mess. So when she gets the bright idea to try and fix it with magic she’s delighted. Nothing can go wrong right? Right. Until Regina shows up. Ok, so I put this in smut, but it’s totally hilarious. I love it.

Blow your house down by violetscentedwriter

This is the sequel to Who’s jealous of the big bad wolf. It can be read without having read part one but you’d be missing out on a few details. This will be a tongue-in-cheek naughty sex fest. cold shower zone after this right here. Could also be considered a full blown novel.

Shadow Haven by @delirious-comfort

Emma Swan is a PR agent who is sent on a holiday by her boss. Regina Mills is the owner of a private island named Shadow Haven. There is more to Regina than initially meets the eye. This story dips heavily into the BDSM subculture. Swan Queen romance / BDSM story. This was so hot I don’t even know where to start. Very fun. It definitely also has a strong emotional development throughout the story which I enjoyed quite a bit. I could also put it in the full blown novel section but it’s REALLY smutty so I went with smut.


One-Shots/Short

Rubbers by hunnyfresh rated G

In which Emma sucks at trash bin basketball and spends her time as Sheriff doing something more entertaining Oh My god, this is the most heartmelting fluff ever.

Wallpaper by hunnyfresh rated G

Months after Neverland, Regina and Emma have become friends, and all it takes for a push in the right direction is for Regina to see Emma’s wallpaper on her phone. More fabulous fluff.

A Pat Explanation by seriousfic  rated T

Mary-Margaret and David know Emma is dating someone. Who could it be? Neal? Hook? Surely not–anyone else… I laughed so hard, I seriously couldn’t breathe.

Monster-In-Law by seriousfic  rated G

Of course Mary-Margaret won’t let Emma and Regina get married. It’s incest, after all. And so what if that means treating Regina as her mother? How bad can it be? The age old criticism of SQ being incest made into one of the most hilarious fics you’ve ever read.

Lesbian Until Curse by seriousfic rated T

Mary-Margaret thinks Emma’s been acting awfully strange since she got her old jacket out of the closet… out of the closet… wait… I’m not really sure what to say about this, except that Emma is very much a babydyke.

Four Seasons by echo_AU rated E

A life time of Swan Queen set in four seasons.
 This is a really great one, though. So many feels.

Cough Medicine by GwenSanguine rated G

The first three times that Regina gets sick. Emma takes care of her. Is it tacky to rec your own fic? If it is, then I’m ok with being tacky. I’m proud of this, dammit.

Operation Mills and the Podfic version by Swansaloft rated T

Henry and Emma team up to let Regina know she isn’t alone. Emma gets cooking lessons from Regina. Good story and narration for the podfic. Family oriented and the perfect amount of plot.

Like We Are Fools by bringyouhometoo

About a month after they get home, things start getting weird. (Or, Five Times Regina Mills Thinks Emma Swan Might Be Having a Bit of a Meltdown.) Adorable Emma attempting to seduce Regina and Regina is too big of a cinnamon role to notice. Very Cute


Full Blown Novels (>25k)

Popcorn Love by chrmdpoet rated M

Regina is a successful businesswoman and wonderful parent, but her love life is lacking. She agrees to a string of blind dates set up by her friend Kathryn on the condition that the blonde find her a babysitter. Enter Emma Swan. After each date, Regina returns home only to complain to Emma about her suitors. As they bond, Regina realizes that Emma has all the qualities she desires. This here is a throw back. The first fan fiction I ever read.

Calendar by curvypragmatist rated E

While Emma takes part in a charity calendar to raise funds for the library Regina is struggling to control her magic and is dealing with it by staying away from people. Will a persistent Saviour be able to get through to a stubborn ex-Mayor? I remember dropping literally everything whenever this got an update. Screw calculus, I want Swan Queen. This fic has something for everyone. If I were to suggest a fic to someone who has seen the show, but is just starting to get seriously into into the fandom, it would be this one. 

Photos From a One-Life Stand by 1clevergirl rated E

On the eve of their five year anniversary, Emma and Regina look through a small photo album containing pictures and momentos of some of the most special moments, good and not-so-good, in their relationship. As they look through the album, they remember the stories behind each of the photos. I have read this so many times. It’s ridiculous. It’s got everything from squee to smut.

Learning How To Live by 1clevergirl rated E

Regina Mills, a reclusive pianist, moves from Boston to Storybrooke, Maine with her newly adopted son, Henry, to escape an abusive past and pick up the pieces of her life. There, she finds herself falling for a painfully shy, ruggedly beautiful handyman with a past of her own who shows her that sometimes second chances are the most beautiful chances of all and ‘perfect’ doesn’t always mean flawless. I’m not one for AU’s or angst but I’ve reread this one several times and I definitely don’t normally do that. If I had to describe it I would probably use the phrase Lana used one time how “good can come from broken” I also like that it included Henry. I can’t stand when an AU doesn’t have Henry in it at all.

The Great Wide Somewhere  by aimtoothpaste

“It was an idea only an idiot could come up with Regina had said, though she hadn’t disagreed with the plan, and half an hour into the drive Emma’s inclined to believe her.”
It has been seven years since Emma rolled into Storybrooke, and she and Regina are finally in a friendship that doesn’t teeter on the precipice of hatred. When Regina’s pining over Henry, away for the summer at an astronomy programme in Tucson, Emma suggests a road trip to surprise him for his birthday. This gave me the road trip I have always wanted. 

Right There All The Time by @devandclom rated M

His mothers are obviously in love and totally married in everything but name, so why is Henry the only one in their house who knows this? His moms don’t even seem to have noticed that Mom kisses Emma on the cheek every morning when she leaves for work. Every. Single. Morning. I love this one because at it’s heart I would say that it’s definitely a Swan-Mills Family fic. The whole family. I love when Henry is a huge Swan Queen shipper. Includes plenty of capitalizing as well so you read in a Very Official Voice in your head. Very happy and uplifting.

Letters From War by @hunnyfresh rated M

Emma is a soldier on reserve in Fort Benning. Regina is the Mayor of Storybrooke. Through a pen pal program designed to ease the ache of homesick soldiers, Emma and Regina begin sending letters to one another as their relationship grows from cordial acquaintance to something neither woman would have expected - until the letters stop coming. I held off on reading this because I heard there was a character death. I really wish I hadn’t because it was so good. I also cried several times while reading this. I was reading this on my phone and just sobbing in the library and people were staring a bit.