here is a long series of thoughts from a lot of reflection!
i got 2 fatphobic anonymous messages today that i answered bc i didnt mind them much honestly, got a third that i finally blocked bc i was tired of it, and despite blocking i got a forth and a fifth that were clearly from the same desperate, lonely, pathetic person and for that reason i had to turn anon off for the time being!! my anxiety is high rn bc im sleep deprived from work but im in such a genuinely good place w/ my life and i rly dont need any negative energy in it. I’ve gained a lot of followers this summer which im grateful for but bc of that I’ve spent literally this entire summer fielding anonymous fatphobic hate and tbh i got enough of that from my 7th grade bully to last a lifetime so i need to take a step back from anon.
i assume every single one of u who has sent me hate is here, reading this, bc y’all have an obsession w/ me as a fat girl who talks openly about her body, from the days i hate it to the days i love the shit out of it. i often say i want u all to choke and i dont owe you anything more bc of the ways you have treated me but i do rly truly want u all to evaluate why u do what u do because it is honestly, completely mind boggling to me.
what brings u joy about harassing a mentally ill 19 year old you have never met because she speaks about her body? i feel like we often forget that anons aren’t faceless messages, they’re sent by real people, real people who are dedicating time and energy to do this. why are you doing this to me, to anybody? what compels you to be soso mean with literally no reason at all?
after i finish writing this, im going to log out of my computer. im going to order chinese food with one of my best friends who i haven’t seen in months and we are going to tell each other about our summers and have a good time. im going to wrap up some work i have to do for tomorrow. im going to message my best friend love and positivity because they’re going through a tough time. and then, im going to sleep because i have a long day of work and reuniting with two of my best friends ahead of me.
life can be that simple. you don’t have to resort to this to feel better about yourself. you really, really don’t.