but you need a mate

Narrator: No, no, no-no-no. I want the most dangerous reptile you’ve got.
Store Worker: I have an iguana that-uh, eats crickets.
Narrator: That’d be scary if it was a birthday party for crickets. Seriously, mate, I need you to step it up a notch. Is there anything that scares the coocoo out of you?
Store Worker: Uh, not really. I do have a bearded dragon.
Narrator: Ooh! Does it-
Store Worker: -N-no it does not breath fire.
Narrator: Well, then we’re back to square one, aren’t we?

  • Junkrat: No, no, no-no-no. I want the most dangerous reptile you've got.
  • Store worker: I have an iguana that - uh - eats crickets.
  • Junkrat: That'd be scary if it was a birthday party for crickets. Seriously, mate, I need you to step it up a notch. Is there anything that scares the coocoo out of you?
  • Store worker: Uh, not really. I do have a bearded dragon.
  • Junkrat: Ooh! Does it...
  • Store worker: -no, it does not breath fire.
  • Junkrat: Well, then we're back to square one, aren't we?
His || Jungkook || 0.14

Member: Jungkook x Reader

Type: Angst, Fluff, Smut.

Teaser | 0.1 | 0.2 | 0.3 | 0.4 | 0.5 | 0.6 | 0.7 | 0.8 | 0.9 | 0.10 | 0.11 | 0.12 | 0.13 | 0.14

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Life as a support main in OVW
  • Team mate: I need healing
  • Me: Oh ok! Gotcha! Just gotta make my way towards you and-
  • Same team mate: I need healing I need healing I need healing I need healing I need healing I need healing I need healing I need healing I need healing
  • Me: Oh whoops I suppose you'll have to die I'm suddenly blind oh no
BOYFRIEND! BTS- V/TAEHYUNG EDITION

☆DATING V/TAEHYUNG WOULD INCLUDE☆

Originally posted by bwipsul

- A LOT OF SKINSHIP 

-HAVE YOU SEEN hOw TOUCHY THIS BOY IS W/ BANGTAN

-innocent skinship at first _-_

-but  each touch becomes less and less innocent

- Movie impersonations aLL tHe tIMe p.s. Worship my baby ples

-Lengthy conversations about whether people live inside the moon or if its just rabbits

- ‘Tae PLEEAASSE. people are looking at us funny’

‘what?! don’t you also believe the planets are actually holograms??!?’

-He’d be sooo into couple wear !!

‘y/n! Lets wear the same colour underwear!!’ *exicited af*

‘Next you’ll be asking if we can wear the same face’

‘oh…. *puts down his 3D LIFELIKE face mask of you*

‘aSdFgHjkL’

- This baby would love smelling you..it somehow helps him get to sleep

-Cuddleeesssss.and cuddleeeessss and more cuddlleeeesss

-Ever since you two started dating… practing with bangtan has become even harder than usual …. he honestly can’t be without for more than an 1 hour

-A.N.I.M.E M.A.R.A.T.H.O.N.S.!.!. AND UNCONVENTIONAL MOVIE NIGHTS

- Your dating initiation ceremony included meeting his dog first because he uses his dog to smell ‘bAd pEoPle’ luckily you passed and almost ended stealing his dog because it was tOO daMn cUte

- Fort building competetions. You ended up winning which made him pouty because he wanted you to come and in live his fort but ended up coming to yours because it had wifi and he missed you~

-coming to dance practice= him taking up all the space and making his movement bigger than the whole bangtan +++bonus: Extra tongue. so much tongue infact it ends up falling out of his mouth

- Becoming best friends with jungkook and jimin.. Although jimin would be bit jealous because you stole his back up love interest (just in case it wouldn’t work out w/ kookie)

- This cutie would probably want you both to dress as old people on halloween because he feels that old people are underrated and should be appreaciated.

- ANIME THEME SONGS ALL DAY. EVERYDAY.

-You two would have each others backs when it came to webtoons. Whenever you needed a new one  all you needed to do was call *mating call*

- He’d show you off to rest of bangtan but not too much. He’d love to talk about how amazing you were and how much he loved you. which made bangtan puke… except for Jimin.. jimin was just crying at the loss of his back up lover T.T

SEXY TIME (oH JisOoS)

EXPECTATION

Originally posted by taedamn

Originally posted by officialwookkibby

Originally posted by girlmeetsyoongismixtape

REALITY

Originally posted by cmtae

Originally posted by suga-com

Originally posted by jeonbase

- This cutie would be shy shy shy(Forgive me Sana) at first and be fumbling around so much he might even end up falling of off the bed

- Since he would have initiated skinship much earlier, initmacy wouldn’t really be too much of problem for him

- KINKY AF

-IM NOT EVEN JOKING HE’D BE SOO INTO ROLEPLAY (blames hwarang)

-HE’S GOT A MASTERS DEGREE IN FOREPLAY THIS BOI DONT PLAY( ples appreciate my rhyming couplet) . SERIOUSLY THO , THIS BOI WOULD TAKE HIISSS TIMMEE…YOUR BOOBS WOULS BE HIS FAVOURITE PLAY TOY. ITS NOT HIS FAULT, HIS TONGUE HAS A MIND OF ITS OWN AS WE ALL KNOW AND IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DEATHS OF MANY ARMYS. YOURS IS NEXT.

-tbh he’d probably do lap dances for you and take  pole dancing classes and LET THAT INNER HOE(SEOK) SHINE

☆ overall taetae would be sooooo adorable that you would probably suffer from heart failure but he would bring you back to life with his cUTE boXy sMILe.  FUNFACT: Almost all near death experience accounts are from you☆

HOPE YOU ENJOYEYEYEYEYEYDDDDD


Admin noodlecat

“Could you at least pretend enjoy yourself, there are a lot of big packs here that we should try to impress,” Derek muttered to Stiles as they sat through the third, no fourth, speaker of the morning at the U.S. Supernatural Convention. 

“You said I had to show up, I even put on a button down for you, but you never said anything about enjoying myself,” Stiles show back, “We’re in New York, there are so many cool bookshops I could be checking out.”

“I’ll buy you any books you want after the event today,” Derek whispered, eyes on Stiles. 

“Fine,” Stiles said, sitting up a little straighter, “But I still don’t see why Boyd couldn’t have come with you.”

“You’re my emissary and mate,” Derek said, “I need you here help with treaties and to keep the single wolves away from me.”

“You just want me here for my body,” Stiles said with a smirk, ignoring the looks from people around them, “I get it.”

“Shut up Stiles,” Derek whispered, his ears burning red. He saw Satomi give him an amused look and he started to wonder if he was crazy for thinking Stiles could behave through the three day convention. It was only the first day after all. 

“Promise me some mind blowing hotel sex tonight and I’ll be the model emissary,” Stiles whispered right into Derek’s ear, sending chills down his spine. He was in for an interesting week. 

Sometimes it’s the little things. It’s the shoulder kisses and cooked breakfasts and the “drive safe” texts. It’s those things that for some reason make you feel more loved than you ever have before. It’s easy to plan elaborate nights out but when someone can make you feel so happy just by doing the smallest things, that’s when you know you’ve got something special
—  Midnight Thoughts

Guys

G u y s

I never see the whole “write on your skin and it’ll show up on your soulmate” au used as a form of communication

there are people who draw their otp drawing dicks on each other but it’s so common! And maybe, actually pretty and cute, little designs on the skin but I hardly see it used as a form of communication!

I want your otp writing on themselves til the break of dawn just entranced by the others writing style or how quickly or slowly the letters are written!

I need them frantically running around looking for a lost pen or marker when they see their skin is imprinted with “Hey how’s it hangin’ dude”

I need person A’s writing suddenly die out and Person B is just “what the fuck” but they see their skin revealing the phrase “sorry my pen kinda died lmao. It was my fav pen ;;”

I need one of them being “we could exchange phone numbers instead of writing” and the other being like “sure but I like writing with/to you”

GUYS!!!!

I need to see more of this!!!!!

◆ —— CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL QUOTES STARTER PROMPTS.

❛ They’re safe ❜  
❛ She’s/he’s/they’re safe, just like I promised. ❜
❛ And you get to die for her/him/them, just like you promised. ❜
❛ We’re all men/woman of our word. ❜
❛ This is either madness or brilliance. ❜
❛ It’s remarkable how often those two traits coincide. ❜
❛ Me? I’m dishonest. ❜
❛ And a dishonest man/woman/person you can always trust to be dishonest. ❜
❛ It’s the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly.. stupid. ❜
❛ This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caught NAME. ❜
❛ You cheated. ❜
❛ Pirate. ❜
❛ You are without doubt the worst pirate I’ve ever heard of. ❜
❛ What’s your purpose? ❜
❛ I confess, it is my intention to commandeer one of these ships. ❜
❛ I confess, it is my intention to raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out. ❜
❛ I said no lies. ❜
❛ I think he’s telling the truth. ❜
❛ If he/she/they were telling the truth, he/she/they wouldn’t have told us. ❜
❛ That’s not true. ❜
❛ I am not obsessed with treasure. ❜
❛ Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate. ❜
❛ You’re supposed to be dead! ❜
❛ The only rules that matter are these: what a man/woman/person can do and what a man/woman/person can’t do. ❜
❛ Pirate is in your blood, boy. ❜
❛ I can let you drown. ❜
❛ So, can you sail under the command of a pirate, or can you not? ❜
❛ Drink up, me hearties. Yo ho. ❜
❛ You burned all the food, the shade.. the rum! ❜
❛ Yes, the rum is gone. ❜
❛ Why is the rum gone? ❜
❛ It is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. ❜
❛ The entire Royal Navy is out looking for me. ❜
❛ Do you really think there is even the slightest chance they won’t see it? ❜
❛ There’ll be no living with him/her/them after this. ❜
❛ I am here to negotiate the cessation of hostilities against PLACE. ❜
❛ There are a lot of long words in there, Miss/Mr. ❜
❛ We’re naught but humble pirates. ❜
❛ What is it that you want? ❜
❛ I want you to leave and never come back. ❜
❛ I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Mean’s no. ❜
❛ I didn’t steal it, if that’s what you mean. ❜
❛ Too long I’ve been starving to death and haven’t died. ❜
❛ I feel nothing. ❜
❛ You best start believing in ghost stories, NAME. You’re in one. ❜
❛ No survivors? Then where do the stories come from, I wonder? ❜
❛ If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it. ❜
❛ I want you to know that I was rooting for you. Know that. ❜
❛ It never would have worked between us, darling. ❜
❛ I’m terribly sorry, I didn’t know. ❜
❛ How far are you willing to go to save her/him/them? ❜
❛ I’d die for her/him/them. ❜
❛ You need to find yourself a girl/boy, mate. ❜
❛ Who are you? ❜
❛ No one. He’s no one. Distant cousin of my aunt’s nephew twice removed. Lovely singing voice. Eunuch. ❜
❛ A wedding? I love weddings. Drinks all around! ❜
❛ I love this song. ❜
❛ You’ll be positively the most fearsome pirates in the Spanish Main. ❜
❛ You stole my boat! ❜
❛ I borrowed. Borrowed without permission, but with every intention of bringing it back. ❜
❛ It’s frightful bad luck to have a woman on board. ❜
❛ She/he/they go free. ❜
❛ You only got one shot. ❜
❛ We can’t die. ❜
❛ Don’t do anything stupid. ❜
❛ The crew are not to be harmed. ❜
❛ Curse you for breathin’, ya slack-jawed idiot. ❜
❛ You should know better than to wake a man when he’s sleepin’. It’s bad luck. ❜
❛ Savvy? ❜
❛ It’s not worth you getting beat again. ❜
❛ You didn’t beat me. ❜
❛ You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fair, I’d kill you. ❜
❛ That’s not much incentive for me to fight fair then, is it? ❜
❛ The deepest circle of hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers. ❜
❛ You know nothing of hell. ❜
❛ How can we sail to an island that nobody can find with a compass that doesn’t work? ❜
❛ I’m actually feeling rather good about this. ❜
❛ You could surrender. ❜
❛ I’m gonna teach you the meaning of pain. ❜
❛ You like pain? Try wearing a corset. ❜
❛ Wretch. ❜
❛ I couldn’t resist, mate. ❜
❛ That’s got to be the best pirate I’ve ever seen. ❜
❛ I cannot just step aside and let you escape. ❜
❛ This shot was not meant for you. ❜
❛ You’re pirates. ❜
❛ Hang the code, and hang the rules. They’re more like guidelines, anyway. ❜
❛ You lying bastard! ❜
❛ Don’t dare impugn me honor, boy/girl! ❜
❛ I always liked you. ❜
❛ It goes with your black heart. ❜
❛ I really rather hoped we were past all this. ❜
❛ Perhaps you’ll conjure up another miraculous escape, but I doubt it. ❜
❛ Do us a favor. I know it’s difficult for you… but please, stay here, and try not to do anything… stupid. ❜
❛ Even a good decision if made for the wrong reasons can be a wrong decision. ❜
❛ Any man who falls behind, is left behind. ❜
❛ Take what you can! Give nothin’ back. ❜
❛ I hardly believe in ghost stories. ❜
❛ We are cursed men. ❜
❛ Will you be saving her/him then? ❜
❛ I can’t swim. ❜
❛ I’m watching over you. ❜
❛ I should have told you from the moment I met you. I love you. ❜
❛ Hang him. ❜
❛ Keep your guns on him, men. ❜
❛ How did you escape last time? ❜
❛ This man/woman/person saved my life. ❜
❛ One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness. ❜
❛ Come out… and we promise we won’t hurt you. ❜
❛ I invoke the right of parlay. ❜
❛ I can’t breathe. ❜
❛ You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before? ❜
❛ I had a dream about you last night. ❜
❛ You don’t want to be doing that, mate. ❜
❛ I’m curious. After killing me, what is it you’re planning on doing next? ❜
❛ Do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death? ❜
❛ You forget your place. ❜
❛ So, this is where your heart truly lies? ❜
❛ I already feel like a fool. ❜
❛ I admire a person who’s willing to do whatever’s necessary. ❜
❛ You’re a smart man/woman/person, but I don’t entirely trust you. ❜
❛ I’m not sure I deserved that. ❜
❛ I may have deserved that. ❜
❛ You’re safe now. ❜
❛ You’re despicable. ❜
❛ I saved your life, you saved mine. We’re square. ❜
❛ I can get you out of here. ❜
❛ I’d need a lot more to drink. ❜
❛ It was a good plan.. up ‘till now. ❜
❛ Do not make the mistake in thinking you are the only man here who cares for NAME. ❜
❛ Is there a problem between us? ❜
❛ Every decision you’ve made has only brought us from bad to worse. ❜
❛ Easy on the goods, darling. ❜
❛ I’m not entirely sure that I’ve had enough rum to allow that kind of talk. ❜
❛ He’s still breathing. ❜
❛ Easy on the goods, darling. ❜

Sweeter Than Wine

by Anonymous

 Walking up, the bass still pounding loudly in his ears, he furrowed his brow in confusion as he noticed one lone figure still sitting at the bar. Almost every other person in the club had fled to the dance floor, but here was someone that obviously hadn’t been caught up in Louis’ spell.
Confused, Louis thought perhaps this muggle was just so determined to get drunk that his spell couldn’t penetrate.
“You must really need a drink tonight, mate,” Louis said, his tone biting as he slid up next to the stranger and clapped him solidly on the back.
The sarcastic tone he displayed a second before must not have flustered the man, because he smiled widely, his cheek dimpling endearingly.
“I do, actually,” he said, gesturing to the stool next to him. “Why don’t you join me for one?”

When Wizard!Louis goes to a muggle club for a change of pace, his one night stand ends up being much more than he bargained for.

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