but you make a good pet so you can stay

Nonsexual Pet Play Starters

“Bad kitten, get down from there!” 

“Don’t make me spray you with water!” 

“Come here kitten, let me brush you.” 

“Such a good girl.”

“Stay still so I can put your leash on, pup.” 

“You look so cute in the new collar I got you.”

“Ah-ah, drink out of the bowl without using your hands.” 

“Did you just scratch me? Bad!” 

“You’re so soft.” 

“I love petting you.” 

“You find the strangest places to sleep, pet…” 

“What’s the matter, why’re you whining?” 

“This collar has a bell on it Now you can’t get into trouble without me hearing!”

“Look what I have, your favorite treats.” 

“Can you roll over for me?” 

“Hey, looks like someone needs some attention. C’mere.” 

“Stop headbutting me, silly kitty.”

Taehyung As Your Boyfriend

Seokjin || Yoongi || Hoseok || Namjoon || Jimin || Taehyung || Jungkook

Tae is the smolest cinnamon roll he’s precious and too pure for this world treat him right ok??

Originally posted by hellosarang

  • tae is legit just a tall child
  • not in the sense that he’s immature
  • he’s just very playful
  • basically tickling you whenever he doesn’t get his way
  • or pouting and looking up at you through his lashes
  • dropping whatever he’s doing whenever he sees an animal
  • begging for a puppy/kitty/bunny/whatever afterwards
  • promising that he’ll take really good care of it
  • and ignoring any mention of the pet fish he used to have
  • it makes dates - and everyday life - really fun
  • he always wants to take you somewhere exciting
  • somewhere you can laugh and have fun for hours
  • instead of just sitting around watching a movie
  • surrounded by people, so he can’t cuddle you
  • sure, he’ll take you to the theater sometimes,
  • but if you’re just watching a movie he’d rather stay home
  • so he could cuddle you all he wanted
  • and tickle you until you got him more popcorn
  • but date nights usually included amusement parks
  • or just public parks
  • with playgrounds and duck ponds and hiking trails
  • which was why none of the boys ever tried to follow/tag along
  • the members were always looking for something to tease you about
  • but there really wasn’t much
  • they would have teased tae for his constant aegyo
  • but he wasn’t embarrassed about it, so their teasing did nothing
  • they would have teased him about his silly selcas
  • but then he just took pics of them doing stupid stuff
  • and the two of you teased the members right back
  • so eventually, the guys just treated you like another member
  • jimin spent a lot of time with you and tae
  • and they tried to make sure they never excluded you
  • but sometimes they would
  • though tae always remedied that by having you sit on his lap
  • that way you couldn’t be left out of the loop
  • it wouldn’t really be a sexual thing, either
  • he was just trying to be sweet and include you
  • he did that a lot, actually,
  • constantly doting on you and making sure you were happy
  • either by peppering your face with kisses randomly
  • or reminding you that he loved you
  • or just trying to make you laugh whenever he could
  • which normally involved him rapping Cypher and imitating his hyungs
  • or purposefully trying to be weird or childish
  • pulling goofy faces or poking you but acting like it wasn’t him
  • even though he was the only other person in the house
  • though really he only did that while you were working
  • because he wanted to play and you didn’t
  • so he was going to bug you until you did want to play
  • which led to you chasing him around the house
  • *poke* “tae i’m trying to work, stop it”
  • *poke* “taehyung i swear”
  • “what? i’m not doing anything!”
  • … *poke* “if you poke me one more time i’m gonna poke you in the eye”
  • … … … *poke*
  • again, he’s very playful
  • even in bed
  • you’ll be trying to fall asleep
  • but you aren’t cuddling up to him
  • so he’s poking and pulling at your clothes/skin until you roll to face him
  • he loves to look at you as you fall asleep
  • and kiss your nose
  • so he’d rather face you than spoon you
  • sort of the same thing during sex, normally
  • liked being sweet/looking into your eyes
  • nuzzling his nose against yours
  • only focused on your enjoyment/pleasure
  • sometimes he was teasing
  • denying orgasms/just barely missing your g-spot
  • but that just made it so much sweeter in the end
  • he could also be rough at times
  • but only if you wanted him to be
  • nuzzling his nose into your neck instead
  • leaving hickeys instead of kissing you lightly
  • making it hard to walk the next morning
  • but he’d gladly carry you to the kitchen the next morning
  • even if you could walk
  • setting you down on the counter
  • so you could watch him cook burn breakfast
  • with him feeding you tastes every so often
  • and thankfully he did
  • because eventually he got distracted by you
  • and breakfast ended up burning
  • “guess we could have candy for breakfast”
  • “no, you’re hyper enough as it is”
  • “well then i guess i could just eat you
  • “tae it is tOO EARLY FOR THIS”
  • “but i’ve gotta eat something… please?”
  • you never can deny his puppy-dog eyes and pout

rinna-diabolik  asked:

Hii your biggest fan with another request!! :3c would you be able to do a skit with the plushies house sitting for you while you're out of town? ( as in you leave them a list to clean, water the plants, feed your pets, get your mail, ect.) i hope you can find a way to make it chaotic xD

I’m your biggest fan too Rinna chan~~⁄(⁄ ⁄ ⁄ω⁄ ⁄ ⁄)⁄ I love your requests they are so cute!!! Omg they are going to stuck in the toilet or mail box for sure jk I rather just let them stay in bed or sofa and watch TV~ ∠( ᐛ 」∠)_ good bois

20 Reasons to be my girlfriend

1) I can sing you to sleep with a beautiful version of Carry On My Wayward Son
2) I literally almost cry at every dog I pet and it’s cute

3) I will bake you cookies and make you pizza and kiss you lots and cuddle you

4) I’ll take you on boring dates like to farmer’s markets and to pick out a plant but i will try to spice things up a bit and take you on a hike and probably eat you out on a boulder in the forest so yeah there’s that

5) We can have cute sleepovers and i will paint your nails cause I’m good at it and we can stay up late and talk about feminism and life

6) When you’re on your period, I will take baths with you and take care of you and feed you chocolate and cuddle you if you cry and make bubble beards w you

7) I’ll text you cute ass selfies and songs that i want you to listen to and stuff that makes me think of you

8) I’ll play goofy games with you and take you shopping and take you to the movies and wine and dine you every single fucking night if that’s what you want

9) I will buy you hella hot lingerie
10) you can def model said hella hot lingerie for me preferably while sitting on my lap
11) I’ll grab your butt a lot
12) I’m really good at cooking breakfast food so we can have breakfast, brunch, and brinner if you want
13) I feel like I need to throw out there that I’m cute af, too
14) I have never murdered anyone
15) I’m laid back until you drink the last of the milk and all I wanted was a bowl of cereal
16) I have really good eyebrows and teeth
17) I’m really smart and I can put together ikea furniture like a boss
18)I’ll call you cute names like baby girl and sweetie and I’ll hold doors open for you cause you’re really pretty
19) I’ll never make you stop talking about the things that you love because it is part of what makes you you
20)I’m loyal and hilarious

Okay i’m really sad now and i want a girlfriend 👭

oefiance  asked:

Haise, a dog, assassination classroom God of Death, memes, and money (also better parents i.e. me but I can only use five soooo)

SHit dude, all you’d need is the dog and you’d summon me for like 5 minutes to pet the dog and pay attention to only the dog and then poof away into the void

Haise and GoD are something that would help or at least make me stay longer

memes kinda decline it a little, cause. I may be a meme, but I can only handle so many.

Money is good too, but how much are we talking here?

(also yes- lmao)

tell me 5 things you’d put in a pentagram to summon me and I’ll tell you if it would work or not

Good morning, Kingdom of Positivity! I hope you all slept well. 

Before you begin your day, make sure you remembered a few things:

- Take any medication you need

- Drink some water so you stay healthy and hydrated 

- Get some food in your stomach so you’ll have the energy to face the day

- If you have any pets, make sure they got some food and water too! Also, give them a hug or a pat for me

- Got any plant friends? They need proper nutrition as well

- Take a shower to help you feel clean and refreshed

- Brush your teeth when you can to keep the dentist away

That seems to be all I can come up with for now. Feel free to add on if you’d like! Have a wonderful day!

a lil psa for dog walking trainers!

i’ve seen a lot of positivity with pokemon go and getting dogs out and about- which is really great!! as a dog momma i love seeing the amount of fun everybody’s pets are having, and its awesome to give your dog (and yourself) a good workout. however, i just wanted to warn dog walking trainers to make sure you pay special attention to how hot it is when you walk!! this summer had been really brutal in some places- so make sure you check the pavement so your best friend wont hurt their paws. if you plan on being out a while, bring them some water and a collapsable dish if you have one!

i know how addicting pokemon go can get, but just remember to pay attention to the needs of your puppers!

i hope everyone, and their pets, stay safe and have fun!!

hey, so in Australia it’s been real fuckin hot this week. this is just a reminder for all of you sick cunts to drink a good amount of water today, to give your pets a lot of water, and to stay in (if possible) as well as bring your pets inside. if you’re having a little sanga and some VB’s mate make sure you don’t drink too much because alcohol can dehydrate ya pretty quick. if you wanna go to the beach don’t be a cooked cunt and go to Bondi. EVERY Tom, dick, and Harry will be there and there’s no shade whatsoever. so be smart about it, if you wanna have a good time by all means find a nice beach that’s not as popular as Bondi and that doesn’t have any blue bottles either. don’t be a little shit and go in the water if you’re drunk because a) you’re fuckin drunk and can’t swim properly and b) you most likely will swim outside of the flags and fuckin Bondi rescue and some seci’s will have to come get ya just because you wanted to be a fuckin sicko. on the topic of Bondi rescue: DONT GO IN THE WATER IF YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO SWIM. mate, i don’t care if you’re going in just a little bit for the waves, the water drags you the fuck in if you’re not paying attention and the next thing you know you’re neck deep next to some surfies. be smart. drink lots of water. and don’t be a shit cunt. laters mate