can you tell us more about why you love moriel? i've never gotten super into them like i have with nessian or feysand, but i want to!!!!!!!! i love them both i just need a lil push in the moriel direction :)
Oh, Nonnie. I don’t think you understand the can of worms and feels
you’ve just opened up in the chasm of my Moriel shipping heart. Please,
FYI - THIS POST IS LONG; THERE IS A TL;DR AT THE BOTTOM.
If you read only one thing of this insanity of a post, read that
because it is the core of my Moriel love despite how ardently I feel the
rest before it is important.
I, too, didn’t really ship Moriel at first. My first time reading the book, I didn’t particularly notice it. I’m not really a detail oriented reader to begin with and I was so intensely distracted by Feysand and their junk, that I missed a lot. Not just Moriel stuff. I missed backstory info and details about everyone in the squad.
And then the Nessian bonus chapter sprung up and BAM: a new ship of feels took over.
It wasn’t until I jumped on Tumblr and saw the fandom casually mentioning Moriel that I realized I missed something. Through fandom meta and discussion, I started to ship it, but it was rereading the book that showed me not only does Moriel exist, but it is a magnificent wonderful thing and Sarah has snuck it in to the book EVERYWHERE.
And to be totally uncomfortably honest with you, Moriel is one of the biggest reasons - if not the biggest - that ACOMAF has saved my sanity and my life this year. Here is why:
I’ll start with the simpler stuff, the plain old fact that they have the hots for each other even when they like to pretend to everyone else that they don’t.
Amren was nowhere in sight, but I spotted a golden head at the same moment she spied me, and Mor breezed to my side. She wore a gown of pure white, little more than a slip of silk that showed off her generous curves. Indeed, a glance over her shoulder revealed Azriel staring blatantly at the back view of it, Cassian and the stranger already too deep in conversation to notice what had drawn the spymaster’s attention. For a moment, the ravenous hunger on Azriel’s face made my stomach tighten.
“I don’t have any choice but to be ready. I’ll come with you to the camp, then go my way afterward.”
“Cassian will be happy about that,” I said. Even if Azriel was the one trying his best not to stare at her.
Ah, Starfall. Of course this is one of the more obvious quotes in the series, the one we see on most of the graphics, but like, I never really stopped to think about it when I first read. Like, truly. Think about this masterpiece.
Az isn’t just ogling. He’s staring at Morrigan like his life depends on it. His body is literally starving for her, he feels that deep of an attraction to her. Who stares at someone like that? Who looks at a woman with such love and desire, they a) can’t turn away, and b) can’t even function?
Like this is Azriel we’re talking about. Morrigan discusses with Feyre at one point that his methods of spying, infiltration, and self-control border on “sadistic” and yet!, he can’t keep himself from looking at her. The man who bathes in blood and torture and secrets for a living can’t stop simple staring at this woman. Azriel, who has “infinite patience” according to Rhys, who sadistically trains himself to be reclusive, reserved, and restrained at all bloody times, wants Morrigan so badly he can’t help but to drink her up when he knows (in his own stupid mind) that he *shouldn’t*.
Like, damn son. That’s intense!
And it’s not a one way street by any means, but I’m not going to talk about Mor’s attraction to Az just yet because I think it’s different than his is and too wrapped up in the drama of the Incident, but more on that later…
Noticing & Protecting
What struck me most rereading was all the subtle bodily movement between these two. Like, take Cassian out of the equation and these two still know how to tango around each other without touching just fine.
There are so many moments - SO MANY MOMENTS - especially in that dinner scene meeting Feyre where we see them cutting off conversations they know will hurt the other or wanting to jump in to touch, to soothe, to caress when those same painful subjects are broached.
And I think it’s more particular to Mor, or at least, it stands out to me with her:
Azriel’s eyes had gone near-vacant as he stared at the wall of windows behind me.
“They’re barbarians,” Amren said, and neither Illyrian male objected. Mor nodded emphatically, even as she noticed Azriel’s posture and bit her lip.
She’s worried for him. She’s sees it. They’ve barely even started discussing Illyrian culture and they haven’t even mentioned Azriel’s history and already, Az is brimming with brooding and Mor sees it and i think it terrifies her because she knows what he’s been through. She takes the time to notice Az when maybe no one else quite does and she’s concerned for him.
But it gets worse:
Cassian’s grin grew as he reached around Amren to clap his friend on the shoulder. Azriel sighed - the sound of the longsuffering. The warmest expression I’d seen him make. “A new bastard in the camp - and an untrained shadowsinger to boot. Not to mention he couldn’t even fly thanks to-”
Mor cut in lazily, “Stay on track, Cassian.”
Indeed, any warmth had vanished from Azriel’s face. But I quieted my own curiosity as Cassian again shrugged, not even bothering to take note of the silence that seemed to leak from the shadowsinger. Mor saw, though - even if Azriel didn’t bother to acknowledge her concerned stare, the hand that she kept looking at as if she’d touch, but thought better of it.
She just wants to touch him. She just wants to reassure him everything is going to be okay. Cassian is rather lightly discussing probably the most painful formative experience of Azriel’s life and Mor cuts in - not to chide Cass because I don’t think he means any harm, but because she knows the pain it’ll cause to Az.
You know, there are a lot of moments in this book that talk about Cassian being the buffer, trying to protect Azriel from Mor and the broken promise she might be for him. But honestly? Mor has Az’s back just as much as Cassian does. Cassian doesn’t really notice here that Az is hurting and again, I don’t point this out to be mean to Cass because I think there is no ill intent on his part. He simply doesn’t notice. No one does. Except Mor. She makes it a point to notice. There is effort. She’s staring at him. She’s considering his hand. She wants so badly to just comfort him when this the most horrific event in his life (save maybe the Incident) brings all the demons up for him.
AND IT KILLS ME.
AND THIS IS WHERE THE FORBIDDEN LOVE STUFF COMES IN TO THIS SHIP.
Technically, they aren’t forbidden. They could be together, but they both feel they can’t be and the enormity of that weight is unbearable. To want to touch and comfort someone you love so deeply, but you can’t? Because it might make things worse? But you’re still so concerned for them you burn yourself up and decide to think about jumping off the cliff anyway?
Sort of like how Az can’t help but STARE AT HER IN THAT DRESS AT STARFALL?
And it happens again, repeatedly:
“No need,” Rhys said. “And I don’t trust this information, even with your sources, with anyone outside of this room. Save for Amren.”
“They can be trusted,” Azriel said with quiet steel, his scarred hands clenching at his leather-clad sides.
“We’re not taking risks where this is concerned,” Rhys merely said. He held Azriel’s stare, and I could almost hear the silent words Rhys added, It is no judgment or reflection on you, Az. Not at all.
But Azriel yielded no tinge of emotion as he nodded, his hands unfurling.
“So what do you have planned?” Mor cut in - perhaps for Az’s sake.
Azriel doesn’t really give much indication after Rhys’s reply that he’s still reeling or feeling slighted, but Mor gives him the reprieve anyway. She directs the conversation in a way that will best address Az’s comfort and needs. And it’s because she knows him. She’s looking out for him. She realizes that Azriel - again, that man who trains so diligently and relentlessly towards perfection - might feel wounded at having his credibility questioned. So she gets him out and away from that moment as much she can in the simplest of ways.
These moments and misdirection in conversation might seem small, but when you consider the gravity of what they’re talking about - Az’s hands burning, his wings being bound and unable to fly, his credibility as a spy questioned (and later on in Mor’s case, her wounds via Eris & Keir) - they aren’t small at all. They’re everything.
But this isn’t even the looking out for Az that Mor does that really kills me. What really kills me - guts me when I think about it - is her watchfulness for him on missions:
Azriel, surprisingly, had returned from the mortal realm by lunch. Mor had intercepted him first, but I’d gotten a secondhand report from Rhys that he’d found some sort of barrier around the queens’ palace, and had needed to return to assess what might be done about it.
Azriel continued his attempt to infiltrate their courts - still to no avail. I heard about it mostly from Mor, who always knew when he’d return to the House of Wind, and always made a point to be there the moment he touched down.
Mor finds Azriel first. Mor attends to Azriel when he comes home. Mor waits for him at the House or wherever he might be. Do you know what this implies??
How long is Azriel gone for? Does Mor even know? She probably doesn’t.
His missions are top secret, which means, she’s spending who knows how
much time waiting for him, making sure she’s home so she’ll not miss
him. That’s a lot of time to spend when you think about the gaps of time
Az is away spying in this series. But Mor cares enough to wait for him
and make sure he’s okay. You would think Az’s first priority would be to
find his High Lord and report after a mission, but Mor DGAFs on her own High Lord and goes to Az first to check on him, to make sure he’s okay. She made it a point to be there. That prioritizes Az. That makes him important in her eyes, more important than anything else she might have to do.
2) She is well aware what darkness is waiting for her when Az gets back. Rhys tells Feyre that only Mor gets Az to admit to his feelings on the darkness of his work. There is bound to be some heavy weight on Az when he comes back from a mission, whether it’s physical wounds or mental demons chasing him, it’s gonna be some deep shit and she knows it, but still she goes. Because she loves him. She doesn’t wait for Cassian after a battle. She doesn’t wait for Rhys after a bad day at court. But she waits for Azriel because she knows the darkness winding up in him and she wants to be there to help weather that storm and make sure he’s okay.
I CAN’T EVEN WITH THAT DEVOTION.
And for anyone looking at this thus far thinking baby Az is the one taking all the protection, where is his for Mor? Well let me tell you, he does it too without even having to mention the actual part he played in the Incident:
The Court of Dreams - the dreams of a half-breed High Lord, two bastard warriors, and… the two females. “And you?” I said to Mor and Amren.
Amren merely said, “Rhys offered to make me his Second. No one had ever asked me before, so I said yes, to see what it might be like. I found I enjoyed it.
Mor leaned back in her seat, Azriel now watching every movement she made with subtle, relentless focus.
“They were my friends, too. And when I look at you…” She bared her teeth. “I see nothing of those women in you. When I look at you, I know that your ancestors would be ashamed. You laugh at the idea of peace? That we can have it between our peoples?” Mor’s voice cracked, and again Azriel subtly shifted nearer to her, though his faced revealed nothing.
Maybe I should have asked Mor to come. But she’d left after dinner pale-faced and jumpy, ignoring Cassian’s attempt to speak with her. Azriel had taken to the clouds to contact his spies. He’d quietly promised the pacing Cassian to find Mor when he was done.
ANON DO YOU SEE THE BEAUTIFUL PARALLELS GOING ON HERE??? THESE TWO ARE SUCH MIRRORS OF EACH OTHER IT IS INSANE.
He watches her. He knows when the conversation might take a turn towards something unfriendly, something painful for her. And then when the conversation does, as with the queens, he moves, almost instinctively. He’s there offering his body and his presence as support. And then just like how Mor waits for Azriel to come back from missions, he promises to go and find her when she is off lost in her own right and catch her from her own horrible darkness, the one that matches his own.
Again, I say: forget Cassian in the buffer equation. These two are circling each other like vultures all on their own, dang it!
The Incident, the Hurt, & All the We Can’t’s
This is where things start to get painful with this ship. And to be honest, I have so many quotes to throw at you, I’m not sure where to start, so I’ll just pickup and see where this goes.
For starters, two passages that are seemingly negative on the surface for Mor:
“I want to go dancing. I won’t be able to fall asleep when I’m this full. Rita’s is right up the street.”
Dancing. My body groaned in protest and I glanced about for an ally to shoot down this ridiculous idea.
But Azriel - Azriel said, his eyes wholly on Mor, “I’m in.”
“Of course you are,” Cassian grumbled, frowning at him. “Don’t you have to be off at dawn?”
Mor’s frown now mirrored Cassian’s - as if she realized where and what he’d be doing tomorrow. She said to Azriel, “We don’t have to-”
“I want to,” Azriel said, holding her gaze long enough that Mor dropped it, twisted toward Cassian, and said, “Will you deign to join us, or do you have plans to olge your muscles in the mirror?”
Cassian snorted, looping his elbow through hers and leading her up the street. “I”ll go - for the drinks, you ass. No dancing.”
“Thank the Mother. You nearly shattered my foot the last time you tried.”
It was an effort not to stare at Azriel as he watched them head up the steep street, arm in arm and bickering with every step. The shadows gathered around his shoulders, like they were indeed whispering to him, shielding him, perhaps. His broad chest expanded with a deep breath that sent them skittering, and then he set into an easy, graceful stroll after them.
Mor, it seemed, went to Rita’s more than anyone else - practically lived there, actually. She shrugged at Cassian’s demand and another chaise like Amren’s appeared. “I just went… out,” she said, plopping down.
“With whom?” Cassian pushed.
“Last I was aware,” Mor said, leaning back in the chair, “I didn’t take orders from you, Cassian. Or report to you. So where I was, and who I was with, is none of your damn concern.”
“You didn’t tell Azriel, either.”
I paused, weighing those words, Cassian’s stiff shoulders. Yes, there was some tension between him and Mor that resulted in that bickering, but… perhaps… perhaps Cassian accepted the role of buffer not to keep them apart, but to keep the shadowsinger from hurt. From being old news, as I’d called him.
Cassian finally remembered I’d been standing in front of him, noted the look of understanding on my face, and gave me a warning one in return. Fair enough.
“Why exactly,” Cassian said to Amren and Mor, not even bothering to try to sound pleasant, “are you two ladies here?”
Mor closed her eyes as she tipped back her head, sunning her golden face with the same irreverence that Cassian perhaps sought to shield Azriel from - and Mor herself perhaps tried to shield Azriel from as well.
First off, the instantaneous way that Azriel offers to go dancing with Mor when he darn well knows he has to be up in mere hours to go do something brutal and mentally draining for his court just floors me. This kid has got it so bad for her.
And secondly, when he watches Cass and Mor go walking off arm in arm and his shadows constrict and the feeling of agony and longing just becomes so palpable in that passage and ugh AZ LET ME LOVE YOU.
And I think that at first glance it might seem almost cruel the way Az offers to take Mor, but then it’s Cassian she strolls off with much as it seems a bit cruel how she reacts about Az in the second passage, which Cass calls her on. But to be honest, I think both of these passages answer to that and point out why in fact it’s the total opposite.
Essentially, it’s too damn painful. For both of them. She’s not being a tease, she’s protecting - both of them.
For Mor, Az looks her dead in the eye and the narrative implies it’s a prolonged glance, one that is deep enough for Mor to recognize the intensity and connection behind it and grow uncomfortable to the point that she has to physically turn away. There is criticism there to be sure on Mor’s part about not being able to broach this subject of her and Az, of having to let it fall and shy away from it, but then there’s this second passage that answers for it: even Mor is shielding herself from and for Az’s sake just as much as her own.
Once more, never mind Cassian being the buffer. Mor does it plenty on her own and with good reason. She knows it’s painful. She’s knows the risks if she does it and I think her actions are both a) admirable because she loves Az deeply enough she doesn’t want to hurt him, and b) justified because as the following quotes will all show, their history and romance is so mottled and dangerous, you can hardly blame them for feeling like they can’t have one another:
Rhys said with soft wrath, “Eris left her for dead in the middle of their woods. Azriel found her a day later. It was all I could do to keep him from going to either court and slaughtering them all.”
But it was from Azriel that Keir cringed. From the sight of Truth-Teller.
One day, I realized, Azriel would use that blade on Mor’s father. And take a long, long while to carve him up.
For Az, what happened to Mor was devastating. I mean, imagine how truly awful it must have been for him to find her body all mangled and dying that even Prythian’s most powerful High Lord said it was ‘all he could do’ to keep Az at bay from killing everyone.
ALL RHYS COULD DO TO HOLD AZ BACK
Nevermind his powers. Nevermind that he’s stronger. Rhys could barely keep a lid on Az. That is the intense level of suffering the Incident brought on. That is what Mor is shielding against. All that pain. All that horror. It’s a bomb waiting to go off and it’s what Mor and Az risk detonating (or they think they risk) if they were to be together.
I mean, look at how Feyre realizes Azriel is going to carve Keir up with his sword. It’s gruesome. He’s going to pay back those wounds he dealt to Mor tenfold because that’s how terrible the Incident was and the consequences it gave the Squad.
I’m not crying YOU’RE crying.
Fighting my nausea, I pasted a sleepy, lust-fogged smile on my face. Right as Azriel returned and gave Rhys a subtle nod. He’d gotten the orb.
Mor slid up to the spymaster, running a proprietary hand over his shoulders, his chest, as she circled to look into his face. Az’s scar-mottled hand wrapped around her bare waist - squeezing once. The confirmation she also needed.
She offered him a little grin that would no doubt spread rumors, and sauntered into the crowd again. Dazzling, distracting, leaving them thinking Az had been here the whole time, leaving them pondering if she’d extend Azriel an invitation to her bed.
Azriel just stared after Mor, distant and bored. I wondered if he was as much of a mess inside as I was.
“Rhys came back the next morning, and when he learned what had happened…” She laughed under her breath. “We try not to talk about the Incident. He and Cassian… I’ve never seen them fight like that. Hopefully I never will again. I know Rhys wasn’t pissed about my virginity, but rather the danger that losing it had put me in. Azriel was even angrier about it - though he let Rhys do the walloping. They knew what my family would do for debasing myself with a bastard-born lesser faerie.” She brushed a hand over her abdomen, as if she could feel that nail they’d spiked through it. “They were right.”
“So you and Cassian,” I said, wanting to move on from it, that darkness, “you were never together again after that?”
“No,” Mor said, laughing quietly. “I was desperate, reckless that night. I’d picked him not just for his kindness, but also because I wanted my first time to be with one of the legendary Illyrian warriors. I wanted to lie with the greatest of Illyrian warriors, actually. And I’d taken one look at Cassian and known. After I got what I wanted, after… everything, I didn’t like that it caused a rift with him and Rhys, or even him and Az, so… never again.”
“And you were never with anyone after it?” Not the cold, beautiful shadowsinger who tried so hard not to watch her with longing on his face?
This post is already terribly long, so I’ll try not to keep being so longwinded, but like LOOK AT ALL OF THIS.
Mor and Az are “faking” it for the Hewn City? NOPE. That scene was just as much a genuine show of comfort in the face of danger and Mor’s family/history as it was a performance. The tension there is real. The need to touch and comfort there is real. Feyre can see it plain as freaking day.
And then we have Mor talking to Feyre about the Incident and she rubs her stomach as if the scars are still fresh, like she can remember it as yesterday and how it nearly destroyed her family and she wants Az, but knows she can’t risk destroying everything again because this time without the question of her family and virginity at stake, if it fell to pieces, it would be her fault. At least, that’s what I think she thinks. And we know she does want to be with Az, BECAUSE LOOK AT THIS:
I focused on the speck of caramel brown I painted beside Amren’s eyes. “I’m sorry - for all that you endured.”
“Thank you,” she said, coming over to watch me. “Visiting them always leaves me raw.”
“Cassian seemed concerned.” Another prying question.
She shrugged. “Cassian, I think, would also savor the opportunity to shred that entire court to pieces. Starting with my parents. Maybe I’ll let him do it one year as a present. Him and Azriel both. It’d make a perfect solstice gift.”
I asked perhaps a bit too casually. “You told me about the time with Cassian, but did you and Azriel ever…?”
A sharp laugh. “No. Azriel? After that time with Cassian, I swore off any of Rhys’s friends. Azriel’s got no shortage of lovers, though, don’t worry. He’s better at keeping them secret than we are, but… he has them.”
“So if he were ever interested would you…?”
“The issue, actually, wouldn’t be me. It’d be him. I could peel off my clothes right in front of him and he wouldn’t move an inch. He might have defied and proved those Illyrian pricks wrong at every turn, but it won’t matter if Rhys makes him Prince of Velaris - he’ll see himself as a bastard-born nobody, and not good enough for anyone. Especially me.”
“But… are you interested?”
“Why are you asking such things?” Her voice became tight, sharp. More wary than I’d ever heard.
“I’m still trying to figure out how you all work together.”
A snort, that wariness gone. I tried not to look too relieved. “We have five centuries of tangled history for you to sort through. Good luck.”
Indeed. I finished her eyes - honey brown to Amren’s quicksilver. But almost in answer, Mor declared, “Paint Azriel’s. Next to mine. And Cassian’s next to Amren’s.”
I lifted my brows.
Mor gave me an innocent smile. “So we can all watch over you.”
I MEAN HELL
THE HESITATION WHEN SHE ADMITS AZ TAKES LOVERS
THE PAIN STRANGLING HER VOICE WHEN FEYRE CUTS OUT THE EXCUSES AND EXPLANATIONS TO ASK HER STRAIGHT UP IF SHE WOULD TAKE HIM IF THERE WERE NO BARRIERS IN THE WAY AND SHE CAN’T HANDLE THE CONFRONTATION BECAUSE SHE THINKS THERE IS TOO MUCH RISK, TOO MUCH TO HURT THEM BOTH
AND SHE KNOWS AZ DOESN’T THINK HE IS WORTHY LIKE SHE TRULY BELIEVES HE WOULDN’T TAKE HER AND I THINK IT HURTS HER TO THINK he WOULD REJECT her JUST AS MUCH AS IT HURTS HIM BELIEVING MOR DOES NOT WANT HIM LIKE THAT
AND THEN SHE STILL ASKS FEYRE TO PUT AZ’S BEAUTIFUL HAZEL EYES NEXT TO HER AND I CAN’T DEAL
AND MY GOODNESS WE HAVEN’T EVEN TALKED ABOUT THIS:
Mor, on her knees beside Cassian, hurtled for the king with a cry of pure wrath.
He sent a punch of power to her. She dodged, a knife angled in her hand, and -
Azriel cried out in pain.
She froze. Stopped a foot from the throne. Her knife clattered to the floor.
The king rose. “What a mighty queen you are,” he breathed.
And Mor backed away. Step by step.
“What a prize,” the king said, that black gaze devouring her.
Azriel’s head lifted from where he was sprawled in his own blood, eyes full of rage and pain as he snarled at the king, “Don’t you touch her.”
Mor looked at Azriel - and there was real fear there. Fear - and something else. She didn’t stop moving until she again kneeled beside him and pressed a hand to his wound. Azriel hissed - but covered her bloody fingers with his own.
I know a lot of people have speculated the “something else” Mor shows is a mate bond, but I don’t think so. I think it’s some kind of recognition on her part that she loves Az more than what she knew, that he is more important to her than she has dared allow herself to realize. I think she fully sees in this moment just what losing him would do to her, that she would slaughter them all the same way Az wanted to slaughter everyone for her when the Incident happened. It would undo her entirely. I don’t know if she will let this drive her to confessing her feelings in Book 3, but it’s important all the same.
TL;DR: Darkness & Hope
Okay, these are the last few quotes I swear, but honestly? This is mostly why I love Moriel. Because ^^^all that up top is important, but all this coming up is what makes that stuff real and painful and important to me and the reason I ship them.
“Yes,” Mor said, tossing her long hair over a shoulder, “since swaggering around Velaris-”
“We have company,” was Azriel’s soft warning, wings again spreading a bit as he herded them through the open balcony doors to the dining room. I could have sworn tendrils of darkness swirled in their wake.
Mor patted Azriel on the shoulder as she dodged his outstretched wing. “Relax, Az - no fighting tonight. We promised Rhys.”
The lurking shadows vanished entirely as Azriel’s head dipped a bit - his night-dark hair sliding over his handsome face as if to shield him from that mercilessly beautiful grin.
“Cassian helped Rhys get me out. Before either had the real rank to do so. For Rhys, getting caught would have been a mild punishment, perhaps a bit of social shunning. But Cassian… he risked everything to make sure I stayed out of that court. And he laughs about it, but he believes he’s a low-born bastard, not worthy of his rank or life here. He has no idea that he’s worth more than any other male I met in that court - and outside of it. [SIDENOTE BECAUSE YASSS CASSSSSSS!] Him and Azriel, that is.”
Yes - Azriel, who kept a step away, whose shadows trailed him and seemed to fade in her presence. I opened my mouth to ask about her history with hm, but the clocked chimed ten. Time to go.
“Does he mind what he does? Not the spying, I mean. What he did to the Attor today.”
Rhys loosed a breath. “It’s hard to tell with him - and he’d never tell me. I’ve witnessed Cassian rip apart opponents and then puke his guts up once the carnage stopped, sometimes even mourn them. But Azriel… Cassian tries, I try - but I think the only person who ever gets him to admit to any sort of feeling is Mor. And that’s only when she’s pestered him to the point where even his infinite patience has run out.”
For me, Moriel is about hope and salvation.
I adore Azriel because of his shadows. He makes me feel validated and normal as a human being. I look at Azriel and I see someone who went to a really dark and tragic place, but he took those shadows and twisted them to his will and found a way to live through it. This is why if Az dies in the final book, I’ll be gutted. He’s the one telling me I’m okay as I am, demons and all, that it’s okay I feel the way I do every day, like I’m drowning in hurt sometimes so far in the darkness I can’t see out.
I love Morrigan because she is hopeful. She inspires me to persevere, to treat myself with self-respect and take care of myself, same as she tells Feyre. It might sound dumb, but I tell myself every day, “Morrigan would want you to floss your teeth,” or “Morrigan would want you to be happy today.” The number of times I’ve meditated on “Don’t let the hard days win?” Psh. Forget it. I’ve lost count. She is this hopeful optimism and sunlight that is missing a lot of days in my life.
Now, put the two together. MORIEL: the validation that you are acceptable on your own, but there are brighter days to fight for ahead.
Az never stopped hoping. He could have given up easily. He could have let himself fade and die, but he didn’t. Even before Mor, he didn’t. But After Mor? He came alive. He found a reason to not just meander through life aimlessly, but to actually live it and try. That touches me. That’s effing exquisite in my eyes - to know that these two people despite all the odds and risks can love each other deeply, passionately, irrevocably and still maintain the balance of their lives together and apart, always encouraging one another and lifting each other up in the best ways - that means the bloody world to me.
And that is why I ship Moriel.