but you have them now and that means something

I just have soooo many questions

Like, did the balloon squad have any issues during the last week? Because papa bakkoush said something like “you’re together, so everything’s okay now?” what does that mean?? Did they get mad at him for not helping them at the fight? WHY didn’t he help them at the fight? And why did they leave without him? And why does yousef keep looking so guiltily at sana? Does he know she has feeling for him? But if he does know, why did he kiss noora? Is he a jerk? And what were the boys going to do? Because it was pretty clear that they lied about playing football. And does elias know what’s going on with sana and yousef? And if he does, is he mad at yousef? Or is he going to help him? WHAT’S GOING ON???

Man, i thought after the hiatus everything would make sense but now i’m even more confused than i was before.

anonymous asked:

I had what many may consider a stupid thought, but I'm going to throw it out there anyway. Am I the only one kind of regretting the fact that we'll never have arrogant-but-softhearted Bellamy and headstrong-but-wounded Clarke from the dropship days in sarcastic, banter-filled love with heavy innuendo and physical attraction? They're in flat-out I'll-die-for-you-you're-my-life-partner kind of love now, which is beautiful...But I still think the show missed an opportunity to build up there 1/2

I mean, the romantic relationship potential could have gotten a few more scenes in Season 1. Just a little more flirting or something would’ve been nice. We probably won’t see them spar or argue ever again like they used to. Bellamy can forgive her in the span of a day for holding a gun on him. They’re in so deep, and it’s warm and real and so adult and thorough now, which is awesome. I’m all about it. Bring on the Bellarke! Yet I can’t help but feel a little sad/cheated that we missed the 2/2

3/3 lighter, teasing, flirtatious, sexier build-up? And I know there was the issue of Finn in S1 and the “story is long.” I’m well-informed that it’s a long and winding road with many arcs and at least 5 seasons. I get the concept of a slow burn. But it could have been cool to see a near-romantic miss in S1 - the 108 tree scene doesn’t count - they’d just killed someone. I’m not expecting a deep analysis or anything. Just fan-girling I suppose. But I can’t be the only one thinking this.

Well, I mean, that’s the thing about telling stories. You’ve got to make the choices. The things you choose to focus on are what gives you the story you are eventually going to tell, and if you focus on the wrong things, you weaken your story. You have to pick. If they did the light flirtation that you wanted in season 1, that would have made the story a different thing. It would have made their relationship a different thing. Having that possibility there from the beginning would have brought the physicality to bear much sooner. They would have been more sure about where they stood with each other. They would have pushed their relationship. It would have actually been MORE about romance and flirtation and knowing the possibility was there.

And the thing is, they didn’t want it to be. And they wanted their characters to separate and go on their personal journeys, whether that was about love and forgiveness or morality and authority. To have the beginning of a relationship with Bellamy and Clarke, even just flirting, would have made what happened in season 3 worse. Because it would have been something that was already on the edge of canon. It would have made the whole season more about dating, and less about the deeper connection that lay under their attraction. Putting aside the attraction completely, meant the focus was on the soul connection.

And when something is about physical attraction, there’s always the question… is it just lust? is it just about needing someone? is it just sex? is it just comfort? is there a power game? is it just what they’re supposed to be doing? is it a means to an end? is it real?  Which, to be honest, were questions with every relationship Bellamy and Clarke had since the beginning of the show. Think back. Every single one. From Satisfied Girl to Finn to Roma to Niylah to Raven to Lxa to Bree. All their sexual relationships have questions over them. Whether they were real love (which three of them were) or not.

Season 1 had them flirting with the possibility of making it a light and flirty thing, like you said. We saw Bellamy with the girls, one of whom looked very much like Clarke (not a coincidence, particularly since she came back twice, both times when he could have taken it physical with Clarke and he turned away from her.) It was an option. We saw Bellamy NOT pursue it, consciously, with Clarke. It says something. It says she was already more important than that to him. We saw Clarke reach out to Finn for comfort, and offer him the same. But it was a mess of conflicting intentions and needs and complicated connections. It lead to nothing good, except bringing them Raven. Would she have reached out to Bellamy if disaster hadn’t struck? Quite likely. And it would have been an entirely different story than the one they told.

I do think they played with a platonic love relationship in season 2, a kind of courtly knight/princess thing, what with the Gustus parallel and Bellamy being sent into the mountain on her order. But it turns out the princess was not feeling so platonic (my interpretation) and while from Bellamy’s side, it might have looked like that knightly ideal, and he even accepted that, I don’t think that was the way Clarke saw it, particularly with the comparison between Bellamy and Finn, and later, about not being ready to start something with anyone. The only two options, honestly, being Lxa or Bellamy. 

Season 3 had the love between Clarke and Bellamy grow while they were separated. The intensity of their feelings for each other deepened to the point that they independently sacrificed their lives for the other’s. The pain and hurt caused by Clarke’s abandonment and Bellamy’s rejection did not make their feelings go away though. The love between Bellamy and Clarke was tested and confirmed, before it ever became physical. It is real. It is true. It’s respectful. It’s mutual. It is serious. It is important. That period of testing was an important story to tell, I think. Many romantic relationships do NOT make it through that kind of test, or even smaller tests. Romance can be pretty flighty, to be honest. Not all romance can stand having a rival for affections, or being on opposite sides of a political divide, or distance, or hurting each other (which is part of the package when you become vulnerable to another person.)  Season 3 showed that the relationship between Clarke and Bellamy could not only withstand these challenges, but actually grow deeper despite/because of them.

So what was the purpose of season 4, which has offered the audience so much hope and frustration? Well. Season 4 to me has been about building tension, in both the Bellarke romance and the plight of humanity. They start full of possibility, but bit by bit, each option is knocked out until they are being forced into their only option. It has become downright claustrophobic, leading to the second culling and the locking of the doors of the bunker. But we still have Bellarke running around, working on their last chance. For survival. For admission of feelings. Because those feelings have also been pushed to the breaking point, and they too have been denied, again and again, pushed aside, given obstacles, from Clarke’s admission of love for L to Bellamy turning aside from Clarke’s cheek on his hand, to his steering away from love, to her staying on science island, from his refusing to agree to her bunker plan, to her holding a gun on him,  to Bree, to Niylah. These are the things they saw of the other. They each showed the other that they were not interested. And YET, the AUDIENCE saw Bellamy telling Jaha she centered him, saw her selling 50 of her people for his life, saw the way they looked at each other when the other couldn’t see, saw how much Bree looked like Clarke, saw how Clarke couldn’t leave Bellamy outside of the bunker. It wasn’t until Bellamy realized that Clarke just sacrificed humanity for his sake that I think one of them saw how much the other loved them. 

Season 4 was about upping the intensity of their feelings for each other, while putting obstacles in the way until it seems impossible and unreachable and now time is up and it still hasn’t happened. 

TENSION

They’re not giving us a sweet love story. They’re giving us a love story so vital and important and desperate that it feels inevitable– and impossible. 

They’re giving us a passionate love story that is about true souls meeting and being held apart. They’re keeping us on the edge of love admission and consummation. We think, they couldn’t possibly hold it off any longer, and they do. 

They’ve absolutely been working us from the very beginning. The intention for romantic bellarke was hinted at from the pilot. But they held it off from becoming admitted outright, took OUT a scene that would have been canon intention from Day Trip. ON PURPOSE. Because it would have taken them over the edge that they intended to ride. If the show had ended with season 3, they could very well have finished the series with Clarke and Bellamy finally admitting their feelings. But they got  two more seasons, so they pushed those romantic 3B-4A feelings, until the very edge of making them canon, on both Clarke’s side and Bellamy’s, and then pulled it back again. None of this would have been possible if they had given us more in season 1. Or it wouldn’t have felt as apocalyptic. And guess, what? They want this story to be apocalyptic.

anonymous asked:

Thank you for continuing to allow anonymous asks on your tumblr. As someone who is shy, I like the option to remain anonymous, but then I cringe when I see someone say/ask something (intentionally or not) rude and/or insulting using the protection of anonymity. You're always so gracious and willing to educate the fan community. THANK YOU!!!

Thanks, anon! That’s the goal,* and that’s really good to hear! I have turned anon off for long stretches before, and would strongly recommend that to anyone who’s feeling overwhelmed by snarky or mean anons, but I’m really glad that people have been generally kind and thoughtful enough that I’ve been able to keep them on for a while now, especially because I think great conversations can come out of it.


*this subterranean salt mine complete with salt walls, vaulted salt ceilings, and crystallized rock salt chandeliers

is basically my spiritual home some days so, you know. there’s that too ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

anonymous asked:

Harries are bullying mexican fans so much on Twitter that they made signs saying I'm sorry. They were waiting for harry outside the venue or something and Harry's car moved past them without stopping. I mean it's not their fault that he assumed everyone understands english everywhere. We can't even understand their accents in the videos when we watch it for the first time. It's almost impossible to understand live with everyone screaming.

Harry and his team are the most hubris combination I think I have ever seen! What they did tonight was unprofessional and uncalled for. I get many people will be like, “poor Harry, so sad!” I will tell you now this is nothing more than theatrics. His team is cold and they are going to use this for headlines. Just remember Louis performing days after us on mom died!

You know what I just realized? I really don’t get allosexuals.
*Example*
I’m hanging out with friends. Two of them are together. One of them looks at the other and says, “I’m thirsty”.
Now I know there are two definitions for thirsty. But I have no idea which definition they’re using.
I mean, they were kind of looking at each other sexually? *Side note: allo body language is strange too.*
So I start looking for something else to do in case they start making out. I mean, I guess I COULD try to carry on the conversation with them, but that seems a little rude.
They notice.
They start going over the top with sexual language, exaggerated voices, blah, blah.

Allos who know I’m ace tend to do this around me. I don’t know why. Is it normal allo behavior? Is it because I look uncomfortable? Is it because my life is actually a sitcom, and it gets a laugh from the audience? These are questions that will continue to be asked, but never answered.

Anyway, they leave. I now assume the orginal statement was sexual, and they left to go to their place to fuck.

They come back 15 minutes later, having gone to Walmart for Cokes. I state my confusion, they point out my mistake, laugh, and call me a prude.

HOW was I supposed to know?!

Is there some kind of secret allo code? Are they telepathic?

So if someone could explain this to me, that would be great.

Also, when I look away from people kissing/making out, I get the same, “Don’t be a prude” reaction.

…?

I can only look at you or away from you? I was trying to be polite by giving you space? Seriously, do allos just watch their friends kiss/make out?

I am so confused.

Send help.

Hunk: Hey, quick question? 

Lance: Shoot.

Hunk: Are we even sure that the mice are mice?

Lance: Well… I mean… when we got here they looked like mice so I guess we all just kind of assumed that they were mice? Which, when you think about it, is honestly kind of weird. ‘Cause the mice are 10,000 year old aliens dude… which kind of implies that mice are universal?? Like, Altea had them, and Earth has them. What are the odds of that? We’re a gazillion miles from home, but we still have mice. What could that mean? … Dude. Are the mice actually mice?

Hunk:

Hunk: Gonna be honest with you, I meant for this conversation to go a completely different way, but what you’re saying is really cool and now I’m interested in discussing this as a group.

Lance: Aw, thanks buddy! But what were you gonna say?

Hunk: I was gonna say that, are we sure the mice are actually mice? Because it feels like every time we tell them something, they……… rat us out!

Lance: 

Lance: You’re awful.

anonymous asked:

Hey Emma 💛 Do you have any advice for procrastination? I also have a hard time concentrating, what do you do (or think I could do) that would help with that?

Hi! I’ve had a few questions like this recently so I’m just going to answer this one and hopefully anyone who asked a similar question will see it! But on with the answer. I think there is a few different reasons why we procrastinate so I’m going to note those down and give a few tips for each. You can obviously apply any ideas that you like regardless of what section I’ve put them under! 

1. You’ve got poor work/productivity habits. Generally you leave things until the last minute since you “work better under pressure”. (This is so me, omg.) You probably think you’ll do something after you’ve finished something else, and then never do. You get distracted whenever you’re trying to study and will sit waiting to feel motivated but it never comes. For this I’d suggest:

  • create a productive work environment - choose a space where you will actually work without distractions, organise your study space, have everything you need in easy reach. Surround yourself with things you find motivating such as quotes! 
  • write it out - write down a few manageable tasks that you need to do. Writing the actions they require will help you see what you should be doing to complete something, instead of just the overall task. One by one you’ll see yourself getting things done!
  • focus on 20-30 minute periods - generally we lose focus after a while so taking regular breaks can help give you chance to relax and refocus. Apps like Forest allow you to set a timer and will give you off your phone at the same time. Obviously if you’re being productive, don’t suddenly cut that off because it is “time for a break”.
  • use apps/browser extensions to cut out distractions - ones like RescueTime or StayFocusd will block you from checking certain sites.
  • find an accountability partner - pick someone who you can rely on to check on your regularly and see how your tasks are coming along. You can send them your to-do list and then every few hours you can update them with your progress. You won’t want to let them down.
  • use the two-minute rule - if something takes less than two minutes, do it. Don’t make an excuse, just do it. Tasks that are longer you can either delegate or defer. Here is a simple visualisation of what I mean.
  • record your progress - doing a simple “don’t break the chain” in your planner is a great way to see how productive you’re being and therefore get you more motivated to keep it up!

2. You’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Everything seems to be mounting up and nothing seems doable. You don’t know where or how to start. For this I’d suggest:

  • find some help - if you’re feeling like this, it is likely you need some help in some form or another. See if a family member, friend, classmate or teacher (or Google) can help or give you a starting point.
  • tell yourself that getting started is the first step - you don’t need to finish a task in a matter of minutes. Start doing something small. Maybe organise what you need, highlight the important bits of your assessment, or draft an essay plan. The secret to getting ahead is getting started!
  • divide and conquer - figure out what is the overall task that you need to do and split it into manageable parts. For instance with an essay the aim is to write it! Divide it into planning out what you want to write, any references you need, summarising a final draft and then writing each paragraph. By dividing bigger tasks into actionable parts you can reduce the obstacles and get through each part in a more timely manner.
  • reward yourself - create a reward system to celebrate completing a selection of tasks. By rewarding your progress you’ll build an incentive to work and reinforce productivity (great for your self-discipline!). 
  • learn to forgive yourself - if you have an off day, that is okay! You can’t expect to see a huge change in a short amount of time. Remember to come back to it later and try again.
  • don’t over schedule - if you’re feeling pressure from the amount of work and then the added pressure of trying to stick to a time limit, you’re just going to go crazy. Set yourself flexible times to get something done instead of being heavily structured. Give yourself time for a break and the ability to change tasks.
  • stick with one task - it can be so tempting to multitask but try not to. Try to keep focus on the what you’re doing until it is done. If you struggle with that, you could write down anything useful that you randomly think about for another task, use a break-time to think about that other task or alternate between subjects/tasks every few hours.

3. You’re a perfectionist. You either don’t want to start something out of fear you won’t get it right or you can stuck on stuck on the small details. There is a pressure to achieve “perfection”. For this I’d suggest:

  • focus on getting started, instead of finishing - it is easy to get overwhelmed thinking about what something is supposed to be like finished if you’re a perfectionist. Take things one step at a time.
  • remember that your perfectionist tendencies aren’t actually improving your work or productivity but hindering you - you’re continually setting yourself unrealistic objects and (like me) probably feel let down by yourself if you don’t reach them. Be realistic and focus on getting it done!
  • accept mistakes - you’ve written something wrong, don’t panic! Cross it out with a single line and move on. Things happen and you have to accept it. You can’t rip up the page every time you do something wrong, even if it is so tempting.
  • put things in perspective - is what you’re beating yourself up about right now going to mean anything in a week, a month, a year? Be honest if it isn’t, is it really worth putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.
  • praise yourself through the process - try not to criticise yourself but recognise your progress. 

4. You’re wanting to do something else. You find whatever you’re doing boring. You want it to be over with but don’t want to get started. The ultimate catch 22, right? For this I’d suggest:

  • remember that putting it off isn’t going to make it go away - if you leave it too long you’ll end up getting more stressed about it. Best to get it over with. 
  • plan from the get-go - once you know something is coming up (e.g. a test, an assessment, etc) make notes on it! That could be questions, annotations, potential topics, citations, etc. By making the effort to spend time reading through, you’ll save your future self some stress. Especially if it’s a topic you have forgotten. That way your notes act as a reminder so you can get started.
  • set a finish time with a reward - tell yourself that if you finish something by ..am/pm and then you can do something else. Use your self-discipline to not go back on this. Set a realistic time and try to get it complete before. If you can think that you’re doing something fun once it is completed, you’ll be more motivated to get it done.
  • make a structure - for note-taking, it can be overwhelming looking at a textbook and thinking what you’re going to write out. Make a note-taking layout/colour code that works for you and that subject. Mine is here - it just give me an idea of how I’d lay everything instead of going in with no action plan. 
  • try to make it fun - this could be using YouTube to learn or starting a study group. Use different methods for memorising information such as flashcards, mindmaps or study guides (like question/answer).
  • make the effort to refocus - if you’re finding something boring and you’re unfocused, walk away for 5 minutes, get a drink and come back. If you’re really struggling, change topics for a while. Find a point where you can finish and start doing something else that is productive. 
  • listen to some music - generally music without lyrics are best for focusing. Spotify has a great playlist for studying called ‘focus’. However I find my regular music good for getting me a little more motivated and awake. I also like writing essays to music because I weirdly sort of type in the same rhythm. Funny study hack I’ve found that works for me haha! 

I hope that is useful! I must have copied and pasted my whole answer like 5 times just incase my tab reloaded and I lost everything, luckily not! You should also check out this post for smaller motivation tips and tricks! xx

Castiel is staring again.

It happens every time they’re apart for more than just a couple of hours and, actually, it’s kind of comforting when you get used to it. A routine of sorts - a look that Dean understands to mean Let me check if you’re not injured, enveloped with a squint if he even dares to claim that he’s fine before Cas’s examination is over.

Nowadays, Dean just sits in front of the TV in his room and doesn’t complain about the pair of eyes fixed on his face. It’s not like Sam is there to see and tease them about it. As it is, he doesn’t mind.

“You’ve met another angel today,” Cas says then, out of the blue. That has never happened.

Dean frowns. What? “How do you—”

“The osculation residual.”

“The what?”

Castiel lets out a huff and squints harder. “They left a kiss on you.”

“Nobody kissed me.”

“I don’t mean your kind of kiss. The angel’s feather must have stroked over your skin. It left a mark on you.”

Dean rubs at his cheek but stops when Cas shakes his head. “What now?”

“It’s not something you can remove,” he explains, pausing to search for the right words. “I believe you call them ‘freckles’.”

No way.

“How can you tell, though? I have so many of them, I’d never notice a new one.”

Castiel simply looks at him and tilts his head. “This one’s not mine,” he says like it’s completely obvious—like Dean himself should have known this all along.

He hasn’t. And now he does. And he does not know what to do about it.

There are roses on Derek’s doorstep.

No note. No scent trail. After determining that there is nothing inherently magical or deadly about them, he spends the entire rest of the day researching symbolism and archaic demon customs, trying to figure out what kind of death threat he’s just been handed.

It doesn’t occur to him until nightfall, when the neighbors start discussing their romantic dinner plans at a decibel he has trouble tuning out, that he realizes the flowers might not have been delivered with malicious intent.

Because, apparently, today is Valentine’s Day. And apparently someone decided that Derek should receive flowers to celebrate the occasion.

Derek Hale has a secret admirer.

He honestly would have preferred the death threat.

Keep reading

Real advice

So a lot of you on here are teens and might be getting ready to be out on your own. Here are some things I learned the hard way or that are just good to know.

  • Never smoke or quit if you are currently. The cost of addictive smoking is more than half your groceries a month AND the bodily cost will surprise you.
  • Drink water. Yeah okay I know this one sucks but water is much much cheaper than soda, trust me. Your skin will thank you.
  • Send thank you cards. Don’t have any? Get the cheap ones and send those. It doesn’t matter how nice they are, the fact that you sent a thank you card matters. Send it for gifts, people calling you to check on you, those adults who helped you move, and even people who interview you.
  • Withhold 1. Okay so speaking of jobs, on your forms (US) where you are trying to figure out your tax withholding, put one. Yourself. It’s an easy way to make sure you don’t owe $2,000 in April and you still get a pretty decent check. 
  • No pets. If you don’t have a pet now, don’t get one. It’s super hard to get an apartment that will let you have a pet when you are first starting out. Wait until you are a bit older and can afford to rent more than a one bedroom apartment. 
  • Insurance. You’re young, so why do you need life insurance? Because that’s the best time to get it. Yeah, it’s a dumb expense to pay right now, but if you get it early, you can afford it. The longer you wait, the more expensive it is. Car insurance is going to be high for a few years, but it will drop around 22 and 25 years old. Health insurance usually comes through your job and please don’t ignore it. Renter’s insurance is usually pretty cheap and it covers you if there is a fire or natural disaster and you have to go back home to mom.
  • Off brand. This goes for food, clothing, makeup, and cleaning supplies and just about anything else you can think of. For food, Aldi’s is your best friend. I can go fill up a cart of just food and it will cost maybe $70. the same amount of food at Walmart is easily over $150. You can of course be picky, but try to get the majority of your food off brand. Hygiene products too. Goodwill is great for clothes, but plan a trip. Save like 60 bucks and drive near a big city where the rich people live. Go to the goodwill there. You can basically get an all new wardrobe for pennies on the dollar. Makeup is tricky. It can be really really expensive but you don’t really have to buy all of it name brand. Pick whats most important to you. I prefer eye shadows and lipsticks name brand and I deal with everything else from the drugstore. With he right techniques, you can make it look expensive. As for cleaning, I always use dollar tree stuff minus my laundry detergent because of allergies. Bleach, stain spray, and vinegar are gonna be your best friends,.
  • Car. Okay so yeah, that brand new car is nice and sure, maybe you can afford it. For now. Disaster will strike. Something will come up and bam, you’re stuck choosing if you want to walk everywhere or eat. Try getting a slightly used car, such as one of the ones they let people test drive a lot or a car that has previously been leased. Just as nice and much MUCH cheaper. And I have gotten THREE cars with no down payment so don’t let them tell you you can’t. But it is nice to put it down,even $100. 
  • Negotiate. Don’t be afraid to haggle with people. Yeah it’s intimidating but it’s 10 minutes of your life versus hundreds of dollars a year. What can you negotiate? Almost anything. Car payment. Rent. Insurance. Hospital bills. Even due dates for the bills you can’t negotiate on. Also, if something comes up where you have to skip a payment on something, call them. Give them like $25 and explain your situation. Ask if your payment date can be moved with the $25 as a goodwill promise to pay the rest later. It works. They would rather move your date than send you to collections. 
  • Collectors. Okay so this one is tricky. If you have fallen behind and owe a collector, don’t fret. I do too, even as I write this. Owing a collector means that the original service has been paid (health bills, credit card ect) and you are now paying the people who paid your bill. (I know it’s confusing) however, they will usually want the entirety of what they paid for you in 6 months. Meaning if they just paid a bill for you that was $3,000, they are gonna ask for $500 a month. That’s rent. That’s crazy. Tell them outright what you can afford and don’t lie about it either. If you can afford $100, tell them that. If you can afford $50, tell them that. If you can’t afford to pay them anything when they call you, let them know when you can. If you can’t afford it when you told them you could, don’t answer your phone to a number you don’t know. I know that sounds horrible but if you are renting an apartment, renting a car, and literally own nothing, they can’t do much to you. Just pay when you can and try to maybe pick up some extra shifts at work to make a payment. I have been dodging collectors for about three years. I owe I think three right now. I pay ONE of them a month, but it’s a large payment to keep them quiet for a while. I do not suggest this for you, I am just letting you know what I do.
  • Credit Cards. Okay, the big one. Many adults will tell you to never ever get a credit card and that’s just not feasible in this world. However, it can be addicting to be able to go to Walmart when you are negative in your bank account and get that $10 movie. I mean, it’s just 10 bucks right? WRONG. It will build up fast and soon the one credit card you have will be maxed. So you have to get another for emergencies. And another. And so on. So here’s my advice; Get a credit card through the same bank as your checking and tell them to put a limit on it and not let it raise. Then lock that sucker away and forget you have it until a real emergency comes up like a flat tire, short on money for groceries, or that collector that hasn’t been paid in 4 months. You can make it on one credit card if you are strict with your money, which I am sure you don’t have a lot of.
  • Budget. Speaking of money, write out a budget for yourself. Don’t know how? Here’s the easiest way. Most people get paid bi-weekly so here’s how to do it. Make two columns, Check 1 and Check 2. If you have a full time job you know about how much your checks are going to be so put the amount at the top of each column. Now that hard part - figure out what is due when. Is something due June 1st? Take it out of check 2 (end of May). Is something due May 14? Take it out of check 1 (beginning of May). That main thought process behind your budget is that you want to have the money for a bill set aside before it’s due. Paying a bill a few days early is a great way to make a good financial reputation for yourself and for some things even build credit. Now if you get paid bi-weekly, you will sometimes have a month where you get 3 checks. DON’T BLOW IT. Put it right back into your budget as Check 1 and keep the flow going. If you prepay bills, like your car or your rent or your credit card, and stay a month a head of those big ones, you may need that wiggle room later. If your car, for instance, is paid ahead 1 month, you can use the car money you would normally pay that month for maybe some extra groceries or some small emergency without using your credit card and you won’t even fall behind! You’ll just be back to owing every month instead of being ahead. It’s like a savings account without the temptation to blow the money. 
  • Simplicity. Enjoy simple things. A gym is expensive, go for a walk instead. Cable is expensive, pay for internet. Phones are expensive, get on a family plan (there is no shame in staying on your parent’s plan, just pay your share). Food is expensive, enjoy leftovers. Movies are expensive, go early and resist any snacks. Shopping is expensive, go to the mall and spend all day trying on cute clothes and taking selfes in the dressing room (makes you feel like a million bucks sometimes!). Time is expensive because you don’t have a lot of it so If you want to stay in bed all day on your day off, do it. If you want to binge on your day off, do it. If you want to just play board games with friends on a Saturday night with a few beers, do it. Simple fun is way better for your pocket and your anxiety.
  • Mental Health  - speaking of anxiety, make sure you take care of your brain. Go outside, even if it means sitting on your steps. Wake up early, even for just an hour. Don’t burn yourself out at work or school because you will suffer the consequences. Make a schedule. If you have trouble with timekeeping, ask for help. If you feel you do have a real mental disorder, see if your employer has what’s called and EAP program (employee assistance program). They usually help you find a mental health provider and give you a few visits for free. This will help you narrow down what exactly you have and after you’re free visits are up you can see who is in your health insurance network that can provide you the mental care you need. if you are prescribed drugs, always get generic. If there is no generic, ask for an alternative. I will not lie to you, mental health is the hardest thing to treat. It took me 8 years and a lot of money to figure out the right medication cocktail for me and my bipolar/ schizophrenia (yes I have both). Turns out I only need two pills, and if I were to refill both of them right now, I wouldn’t even pay $10 thanks to my health insurance (which sucks but at least it’s there) and because I got generics. Also, talk therapy can be pricey but sometimes only a few sessions can change your life. I have literally only been to talk therapy 11 times in my life and that was to deal with PTSD, bipolar, schizophrenia, and suicidal tendencies. 11 sessions. That’s 11 hours. And yeah, I paid over $400 out of pocket for those collectively. But if I hadn’t I would probably be dead right now so it was worth it.
  • Connections. Calling your friends is awesome because sometimes, it’s free therapy. And okay, maybe you’re 19 and you still have a horrible relationship with your parents. It’s okay. I am 25 and I still have problems with my parents. My whole family actually. Social media is a kind of safety net for me because that’s where I can be myself. Find where you can be yourself, it will help you stay sane.
  • Clean. Sometimes when I feel crappy, I take a shower. I clean the living room. I do the dishes. I vacuum. I mop. I open the windows. I get the trash out of the house. Change into some clean clothes. Organize my desk. Clean out your closet and put all your unwanted clothes in bags to donate. Just a small amount of cleaning can make you feel like you accomplished something. 
  • Hobbies. This one is a little hard too. It depends on your personality, your budget, and how much free time you have. Drawing , singing, and writing are free. Exercising can be free if you run or walk in the park. But most hobbies do actually cost money. Video games, playing an instrument, painting, sewing, cooking/baking, making things - those all cost money. Some of them lots of money. But you have to have a hobby outside of social network, sleeping, and working. It’s another thing to keep you sane and it’s just a good idea.
  • Toxic people. Do not be afraid to cut people out of your life that do nothing but make you feel bad about yourself or insult your life. This could mean breaking up with your partner, unfriending a person from your social circle, cutting out a whole circle of people, or even not talking to a relative(s). It’s not easy for some people but if they do not build you up, they will only tear you down. 
  • Drink at home. Okay so this one might sound like a no brainer, but I’ll explain it anyway. Packs of beer and hard liquor bottles are cheaper than a pint and a shots at the bar. Bottles of wine are cheaper than a glass at a restaurant. It’s never okay to drive drunk or even after one bottle of beer. NEVER. Staying at home is cheaper all around and you can drink in your pajamas while watching Finding Nemo on loop. Or invite some friends over and create a drinking game out of a show, a game you already have, or just talk and drink. 
  • Sleep. This one is so important. You need a good bed and a quiet, dark place to sleep. If you are scared of the dark, get a night light. Can’t sleep in silence? Get a fan. I have both of these and they help. You’re brain will feel tired if you ‘slept’ for 12 hours but only got 1 hour of REM. REM can really only happen every night if you are in a calm and dim environment. Quality of sleep will effect your eating habits, your emotional state, your mental stability, and your ability to make rational decisions among other things. 

So these are obviously just a few things, but I feel they are important to share. Please feel free to add any and reblog it for those about to enter adulthood. 

The 5 Elements of a LIKABLE Main Character

“I don’t like your main character. He’s kind of obnoxious.” my beta reader laughingly told me, after reading the first chapter of my novel.

On the surface, I looked like this: 

Inside, I looked like this: 

Aloud, I said “Oh, well, he’s kind of hard to understand. He changes by the end.”

Inside, I screamed “How could you not like him?! Do you have a heart?! Is there a void where your soul should be?! Are you actually a Dementor that’s really good at makeup? Well, I guess this is what the Dementors are doing after getting kicked out of Azkaban!”

Outside: “But I really enjoyed it!” *Hugs between broken writer and Dementor in disguise* “Thank you for reading!" 

But you know what? That person that might be a soul-sucking cloaked demon creature? They were right. The character was unlikable, or more accurately, there was no reason to cheer him on. There was nothing to make the reader connect with him, relate to him, transfer themselves into his story, feel affection towards him. 

And if the reader doesn’t connect with the character through empathy? Nothing else in the story can work. Everything relies on this one fictional person. The basic definition of story is "A flawed hero with a goal overcoming obstacles to reach that goal, and how that journey changes them.” So without character, you don’t have story. Without empathy from the reader, you don’t even have character. 

So what is empathy when it comes to characters? 

It’s the process of a reader transferring their own lives onto the character. When this happens, the character’s goal and inner desires, values and weaknesses, everything about them, become proxies for our own. We learn of a shared piece of human nature between us, something we have in common on a significant inner level, and suddenly we want to see this character succeed. Because now, they are us – and we want to see ourselves succeed in real life. We feel what they feel, we experience what they experience.  

The best way to sum up character empathy in my opinion, is this quote from C.S.Lewis: “Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another ‘Really? You too? I thought I was the only one!’”

That’s empathy. 

Which doesn’t mean the character has to be an angelic little cherub …

There are characters that operate in a moral gray area, there are characters that are downright awful, there are characters that shouldn’t be lovable …but we love them. So this is NOT saying that a main character has to be a perfect angel that rescues baby squirrels when they’re not busy volunteering at the local soup kitchen, it just means there’s something WORTHWHILE in the character that persuades the reader to stick around. We need a reason to relate with that at-first-glance unlikable character. Just as we have flawed people in our own lives who we can forgive and love.

A good quote for this one would be this, by G.K.Chesterton: “That’s the great lesson of Beauty and the Beast; that a thing must be loved before it is lovable.”

So how does a writer accomplish a good empathetic connection?

Luckily for us, establishing this only takes a little planning in the beginning of the story. Certain elements foster empathy, elements which you can give to your character and display in the story. Making sure to incorporate a few of these will ensure that first connection between reader and character. A connection which you, the author, will then be able to grow. It’s this tiny first note of shared humanity which deepens into those important links we hold with characters. We’re living people, they’re imagined and comprised of words on a page; yet these people can be friends to us, family, mentors, role models, and become some of the most influential people in our lives. 

And how does that begin? Evoking empathy. 

And how do you evoke empathy? Well here are the characteristics that human beings instinctively identify with and admire … 

– Courage (This is the one EVERY main character should possess. Gumption to pursue what they want separates main from background characters.)

– Humor (Wit charms us without fail.)

– Goal-Obsessed 

– Hard-working  

– Noble motivations

– Loving

– Loved by others

– Kind 

– Treated unfairly

– In imminent danger, physically

– In imminent danger, emotionally

– In a sorrowful situation

– Smart/Expert at something

– Suffering from psychological weakness  

– Haunted by something in their past

– Dissatisfied with current state of their life

– Lacking something like love, friendship, belonging, family, safety, freedom, etc

It’s a good plan to give your main character at least FIVE of these empathetic little “virtues.”

If this sounds like a resume, that’s kind of what it is. “Dear Potential Reader, I’m applying for the job of Main Character of this book series. I aspire to consume your every waking thought and drastically change your life, for better and worse.” It’s a diagram of the worthwhile traits of the hero, the characteristics that win us over, which promise the reader “If you follow my story, knowing me – and experiencing the story through me – will be well worth your time.”

These traits will be displayed in the set-up of the story, the first ten pages or so. But the story CANNOT stop to let the character exhibit these winning behaviors; the story must KEEP PROGRESSING, every empathetic element must be shown with a story reason for existing within a scene. Like exposition, empathy needs to be added in subtly, as the story motors onward, slipping into the reader’s knowledge without them noticing. If it’s a scene created for the express purpose of convincing the reader “This character is lovable! Love them! I said love them!” then it will be glaringly obvious and the reader will feel the exact opposite. (They’ll also feel that way about the author, incidentally.)

Now! How does this work? 

Harry Potter: 

Harry is the poster child for being treated unfairly. Yet in the face of the abusive treatment of his childhood, Harry is courageous. He does not succumb to the Dursley’s relentless campaign to stamp the magic out of him, and become a proper Dursley; though this would’ve won their approval, put him in their good graces, and made his life exponentially easier – but he didn’t do it. He knew they were wrong, knew what was right, and refused to become like them. So heck yes Sorting Hat, there is “plenty of courage, I see”. He was loved by his parents, by the three that dropped him off at his Aunt and Uncle’s, and by the majority of the Wizarding World. He’s also snarky, loving, and in constant danger. 

Judy Hopps: 

Every reason why we care about Judy is established in the first few scenes. She’s courageous. She’s funny. She’s loved by her parents. She’s motivated by noble values. Definitely goal oriented, hard working, and smart. She’s also in imminent danger, and being treated unfairly.

If we took out the pieces of the story meant to evoke our empathy, what would happen? 

Nobody would care. Judy Hopps would have been an annoying, smug, and consumed by ruthless ambition. Harry Potter would have ceased to exist because everything about him is empathetic. 

Establishing these early allows us to begin the process of temporarily transferring our lives into a story. Or in the case of some life-changing stories, not temporarily transferring, but letting them become part of our souls forever. 

Yup, having your story connect with a reader forever starts with just a little empathy. Pretty useful.

Oh, and speaking of souls, give me mine back, Dementor reader. I learned how to make people like my characters. Now you’re out of the Azkaban job and the beta reading job. 

A lot of stories of wlw discovering their sexuality later in life focus around denial. Stories of obviously being into girls, but pretending it wasn’t attraction. Stories of your puppy crushes on your best girl friend, your female teacher, the cute girl in your class, that you told yourself was anything but a crush but retrospectively definitely was.

That’s great, and sharing “baby gay” stories is lots of fun, but it isn’t applicable to all wlw. For some, they had no stories from their childhood/teen years that involved repressed feelings for girls. Their attraction to them truly is a recent thing, something very “sudden”. If that applies to you, it’s easy to think you’re faking it, because if you were really a wlw, wouldn’t you have signs of it earlier on?

The answer is: not necessarily.

There’s no time limit for discovering your love of women. Even if you were alive for 20, 30, 40, 80 years without having any attraction to women, that doesn’t mean it’s impossible for it to happen now. For some people (but not everyone!) sexuality can be fluid, and you can discover and nurture a side of you previously unknown to you.

Maybe you were never really into boys but only recently figured out that you were into girls instead. Maybe you were married for 20 years and after your divorce, you fell in love with a woman. Maybe you never met a girl that’s “your type” but now that you have, you’re falling for her, and hard. Maybe your best friend coming out to you made you see her in a new light that you had never considered before. Maybe your partner realizing she was a trans woman opened your mind to to the possibility of loving a woman, because you love her as a person and you realized that gender is no barrier to that. Maybe you recently came to terms with being a trans woman, and your newfound comfort in your gender identity gave you the chance to explore your sexuality.

No matter what your story, it’s never too late to discover your sexuality. You do not need to have signs of liking women early on in order to be “legitimate”. Even if you never had a reason to believe you were anything but straight, if you find yourself starting to wonder if you’re not, you deserve the space to discover yourself and your identity.

And to other wlw who knew early on: you may be tempted to brush off these women, saying they aren’t really wlw (or not really bi, lesbian, etc.) or that they give a negative impression of the community overall, but try to be understanding. Our journeys do not all look the same. Be understanding of your fellow wlw even if they discovered themselves at a different pace. Someone’s past does not necessarily dictate their present, or their future.

Drabble List

So I just finished posting the last of the previous volley of drabbles so I decided to come up with a new prompt list. It’s mostly a hodge-podge of stuff from my own brain or inspired by songs or different shows and stuff but there are some from other prompt lists so, if anyone wants me to give credit, drop me a message and I’ll be sure to do so.

  1. “If you had asked me to stay, I would’ve.”
  2. “You’re too good for this world.”
  3. “Could you be happy, here, with me?”
  4. “How long do we have?”
  5. “Do you think we’re bad people?”
  6. “How did we become this?”
  7. “I can hardly stand myself.”
  8. “Go to hell.”
  9. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I’m going to take care of you.”
  10. “There was a time before all of this.”
  11. “No one will ever believe us.”
  12. “Don’t come near me or I swear I’ll kill you.”
  13. “My hobby is making fun of you when you talk.”
  14. “I used to do a lot of things.”
  15. “It doesn’t matter. You’ve moved on and I have to be okay with that.”
  16. “Do you wish things had happened differently?”
  17. “Don’t you dare look him in the eye.”
  18. “I’ll be here as long as it takes.”
  19. “We were never meant to fight on our own.”
  20. “Something’s clearly wrong.”
  21. “There’s nothing I can do anymore.”
  22. “This is going to hurt.”
  23. “I don’t need to be the hero tonight.”
  24. “Am I ever going to see you again?”
  25. “We always have a choice.”
  26. “You’re holding back.”
  27. “I don’t want to feel like this tomorrow.”
  28. “Is that a threat?”
  29. “If you don’t like this world then change it.”
  30. “Are you kidding me? We’re not fine!”
  31. “You may be an idiot, but you’re my idiot.”
  32. “Keep your eyes on me.”
  33. “You can lie to yourself but don’t lie to me.”
  34. “I wish I couldn’t feel a damn thing.”
  35. “If you make one more stupid pun, I will literally stab you.”
  36. “I wasn’t going to mention it.”
  37. “I tried my best to not feel anything for you. Guess what? I failed.”
  38. “I’m here for you.”
  39. “What are you so happy about?”
  40. “That’s not what I meant and you know it!”
  41. “You’re putting words in my mouth!”
  42. “We have to stick together.”
  43. “We’ll get through this. I promise.”
  44. “Don’t leave me behind.”
  45. “What are you looking at?”
  46. “How did you find me?”
  47. “Who did this to you?”
  48. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”
  49. “I have to tell you something.”
  50. “I need more time.”
  51. “You deserve better than me.”
  52. “This isn’t fair!”
  53. “If you kill them, you’d better kill me too, because otherwise I’m going to kill you.”
  54. “Please don’t shut me out.”
  55. “You are my best friend in the whole world, okay?”
  56. “Don’t you dare die on me!”
  57. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
  58. “You’re out of your damn mind.”
  59. “No one can hurt me like you can.”
  60. “You are my sunshine.”
  61. “This is all my fault.”
  62. “Please, don’t cry.”
  63. “Maybe I can’t fix you but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try.”
  64. “You should see this.”
  65. “You make me feel invincible.”
  66. “I’ll keep you safe.”
  67. “Don’t look at me like that.”
  68. “Let’s do something crazy.”
  69. “We are not going to steal someone’s dog.”
  70. “Do you trust me?”
  71. “You don’t get to pick and choose. You’re stuck with me.”
  72. “You know I’m gonna win, right?”
  73. “Don’t underestimate what a person can do to protect those they care about.”
  74. “I didn’t mean what I said.”
  75. “Do you ever follow directions?”
The extrovert's guide in dealing with introverted personalities

SUBMITTED by Steve

INxJs

-They can come off as … weird. Very subjective term because really, who’s to say what’s weird and what isn’t. But given that INxJs are arguably the rarest types and usually out of touch with the physical and concrete, it can definitely make the more down-to-earth extroverts out there feel as though they are alien in some way. But don’t be fooled, because behind those ambiguous stares there is a storm-load of activity going on in their minds. 

- Their hunches can be incredibly valid. Unlike what the stereotype will have you believe, Dom-Ni is NOT a future-predicting function. For one thing, it’s very personal and subjective to each Dom-Ni user and some of them would probably disagree with each other on their hunches. However, they do have an ability to see things that a lot of us will miss. Not through any kind of mystical gift, but rather well thought out speculation. Even if they’re off, chances are they were still very wise in their assessment of things.

- There are usually your typical law-abiding citizen. (Good advice for everyone, not just extroverts) In complete contrast to the first point, INxJs may be way harder to spot than the stereotypes say. INTJs are not scientists working on a cure for cancer or world domination (depending where their Fi is at) and INFJs are not the next coming of Jesus Christ. A lot of them probably work in everyday jobs and there’s a good chance you’ve mistaken them for their S counterparts. Get to know them personally and you’ll see the difference.

ISxJs

- They are hard to get excited. Inferior Ne can be a bitch sometimes. Throwing fun suggestions at an ISxJ may often result in “Meh…” or “I don’t know…” Of all types, they are usually the hardest to pull out of their comfort zone. If you suggest something to them and they start bombarding you with questions such as ’‘What time? Who will be there? How does it work?”  etc. don’t get irritated because that actually means you’ve tickled their interest and now they’re just trying to cover all their bases. 

- They are experts in their fields. Si-Doms tend to have very few interests in life, but what does interest them, they probably know the insides and outs of it, like no other. They love to study at length what peaks their interest and in this case, their factual knowledge about things is usually second to none. They are the definition of “vested interest”. Also note that they are geeks in disguise, so just like NP types, do not criticize old stuff they have an attachment to. They still like something from the 80’s? Then so shall it be. Telling them it’s stupid for them not to move on is actually much more hurtful than it looks.

- Their loyalty and commitment cannot be doubted. If an ISxJ say they’ll do something, they’ll do it, ‘nuff said. Hell, even if it turns out that it’s actually an inconvenience to them. They just cannot back out of commitment. Of course, stuff can always come up at the last second, in this case, you’ll receive a rain check or heart-felt apology. If an ISxJ actually does flake out, that’s … not okay, but they were probably hesitant about it from the start. 

IxTPs

They are blunt. You want an honest and direct opinion? IxTPs will give you that faster than any other type. In many cases, it can actually feel brutally honest, so more sensitive types may wanna steer clear. Of course, if their opinion is splattered with insults and an impatient tone, then you’re dealing with an unhealthy type and that’s not okay. 

- They are “dispassionate.” Sounds like a really negative trait but what it really means is they are the embodiment of “objective.” IXTPs very rarely take things too seriously with a burning passion flowing through their veins. As of such, cynicism and sarcasm is very likely. Don’t take it the wrong way though, because underneath that, they can offer the most practical advice or at least see things as they are, with no bias and emotional tones tainting their view. And while that can definitely be off-putting, and it can also be extremely useful. 

Don’t try to turn a frog into a prince. I’m sure there is a better way to say this? What I mean is that Inferior Fe, even if healthy and mature, will always find it draining to keep up social appearances. You either appreciate this trait of theirs or keep looking elsewhere. But don’t expect to turn your IXTP love interest into a social butterfly overnight. 

IxFPs

- They march to the beat of their own drum. If Dom-Ni can be hard to decode, prepare yourself for Dom-Fi. Like a fire, it is burning, passionate and unpredictable. Sometimes, even IxFPs themselves can’t pin-point the reason they feel so passionate about a given subject. Don’t try to constantly size up a Fi-Dom, you’ll get exhausted. Even their closest friends and family often have a hard time reading what’s going on in their mind. Respect their privacy and their inner world and don’t force them to lay out how they feel on the table. 

- Support their causes. If an IxFP feels strongly about something, then this is unwavering to them. They will fight for what they believe in to the bone. You either support it or stay clear but telling them they’re wrong or it’s a waste of time may turn you into an “enemy” in their eyes. 

- Do NOT attempt to control them. Offering sound advice? Sure. But any shade of “You should do this…” not only falls on deaf ears but may actually cause them to do the exact opposite out of spite. Dom-Fi is the ultimate free spirit who wants to experience life on its own terms and Inferior Te does NOT want to be told what to do. This can be pretty hard at times though. You see an IXFP loved one acting recklessly (ISFP) or acting on a crazy idea (INFP) it’s only normal for you to want to steer them on a straight path, but in actuality it will be counter-productive. Just stay clear and let them learn from their mistakes, IF it’s actually a mistake to begin with. You’d be surprised how many times acting on one’s own accord can pay off in the long run. There’s many world-renowned musicians and artists who could probably vouch for that. 

Among other things, you’ll find that you’re not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You’re by no means alone on that score, you’ll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You’ll learn from them—if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It’s a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn’t education. It’s history. It’s poetry.
— 

J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

This is one of the most beautiful passages I’ve ever read!

Camera and Action

Written for @impalaimagining for donating to my Supernatural Seattle 2017 Gift!

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Word Count: 2,368

Warnings: sex tape, dirty talk, oral sex (male and female receiving), deepthroating, tongue fucking, random sex prompts, loud sex, rough sex, dom!Sam, possessive!Sam, slight ownership!kink, unprotected sex (WRAP IT BEFORE YOU TAP IT)

Summary: Things have been pretty vanilla in the bedroom, so Sam and the reader decide to kick things up a notch by making a sex tape.

“What’s something we haven’t done?”

You raised your head off of your boyfriend’s chest. Sam was looking down at you, his eyes half-closed. His face was calm, and his lips were kiss-swollen from your passionate makeout session. His chocolate hair was tousled and slightly messy (from thirsty minutes of you running your fingers through it), and you brushed a few stray locks away from his eyes as Sam pulled you farther up so that your head was resting on his shoulder.

“What?” You turned your head, nuzzling his jawline affectionately.

Sam flushed pink at the brush of your nose against his skin. “Just wondering, what haven’t we done in the bedroom?”

Keep reading

Step it Up

Requests: “You are one of the only blogs that write quality Barry Allen smut, so thank you. Can you please write a Barry smut where he always is gentle with the reader because he doesn’t want to lose control with his powers. One night she confronts him and a night of vibrating hands and speedy enhancements occur? Thank you 💕” Credits to gif owners!

It was the same thing every time. Slow thrust, kiss, whisper your love for each other and then hand holding. You loved every second of that. Barry told you every single hour that he loved you. And all he did was make love to you, nice and slow, where you could be close to each other and rest your foreheads together. You loved Barry with all your heart but slow just didn’t cut it for you anymore.

The first time you confronted Barry about it, he reasoned with you, sped up a little bit and you made a really strange noise (indicating you loved it) and he figured he hurt you by accident because he was too fast. If Barry even thought about thoroughly fucking you, he would start to vibrate. But he’d never touch you when he did, his excitement about his fantasy would scare him into thinking he would lose control.

Keep reading

What’s up, it’s Alexei!

When Ngozi posted this picture yesterday of young post-draft Tater “trying his darnedest to answer press questions in English,” I thought, “You know, I could make a play fic out of that.” Which is what led to the following 2700+ words about Tater and his ESL tutor.

Many, many thanks to @ktheunready for being my Russian authenticity consultant and beta!


Georgia Martin stood at the back of the media scrum and watched Alexei Mashkov stumble his way through his post-draft interview, saw the way his fingers kneaded the brim of the brand-new Falconers’ cap he’d been handed for the initial official photos, saw the way his eyes widened and stayed intently glued to whoever was asking him a question, like he was afraid he’d miss some key bit of meaning if he blinked.

She pulled out her phone and made a call.

***

«No, Mama, I promise, my room is very nice. The family is very nice. Everything is very…»

«Let me guess, nice? »

Alexei sighed. «Yes.»

«You know I don’t doubt you, right, Alyosha? I’m not worried you can’t do this. You will be fine. But I know this is your first time to live in another country, with none of the boys from your teams here. It can be… hard, sometimes. I know.»

«Yeah, Mama, I know. You told me.»

«Are you telling me you’ve heard the stories of my youth too many times?» she asked in mock outrage.

«No, no!» he laughed. «Of course not.»

«Good. I should think not.» He could picture her face exactly, and it made him smile. «I’m glad your host family seems nice, Alyosha. I’m sure you will have many friends in no time.»

He flopped back on the bed again and stared at the ceiling. «I hope so.»

«We’ll talk again soon. Love you, son.»

«Love you, too.»

He hung up and let his phone rest on his chest. He’d been to America before. He’d thought he’d known what it would be like, that it wouldn’t be so bad. Different, yes, but there would be so many interesting new things to see, and new teammates, and he certainly knew how to play hockey. What he had failed to take into account, apparently, was how exhausting it was to try to function in English all day. For a US hockey team, the Falconers’ roster was shockingly low on Russian players, so his host family was one of the French Canadian ones. To their credit, they did speak some Russian, but it was hardly enough to have a real conversation. Alexei felt like he’d been practically mute all day.

Keep reading

A PSA to young folk:

If someone you’re interested in says something like, “You shouldn’t be with me, because I’m damaged and I only hurt everyone, and I’ll never get better,” BELIEVE THEM.  Because they are saying that for one of two reasons:

1- They think it’s cool and romantic to be dark and damaged.  They are incorrect.  Fetishizing mental illness is not ok.

2- They truly believe this about themselves, and are unwilling to do anything to work on their issues, right now, and will take their hurt out on you.  Things may change in a few years, when they are ready to face it, but it is NOT YOUR JOB TO FIX THEM.  YOU ARE NOT THIER SAVIOR.

However, if someone you’re interested in says something like, “Yeah, I have issues, but I’m working on them.  It’s hard, and I don’t always win, but I’m working on it.“  That’s a good sign.  It means they’re self-aware enough to be in a healthy relationship.  But please remember, even then, that IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO FIX THEM. 

Bottom line: when someone tells you who they are, believe them.