but you dont have to hold it in

I FOUND SOME SELFIES WHILE LOOKING AT THE OLD STUFF IN MY 3DS’ SD CARD

THERES… REALLY GOOD STUFF–


fun fact for the new peeps: i never really got an actual haircut until a few years ago so used to have… Really Long Hair 

my boy can you even hold a camera

granted the 3DS is different but still it is a known fact i cant hold cameras

I WANTED TO SAY “SAME” BUT THAT’S LITERALLY ME SO 

the only expression i can make when taking pictures of my face because i can’t stare directly at the camera for some reason and also im bad at Smile 

I don’t know why I took this picture but I love it 

a crime scene

seekingarrangement  asked:

When did you realise you were queer? / how, and do you have a coming out story? :)

omg hey thanks for asking!!!!! hold onto ur seat because this is gonna be a long ass story…

so here we go and its tmi and weird sexual talk ok so dont read further if that bothers you pls

i only recently came out this past december (im 21…but i did also halfway come out at 16 but i’ll get to that in a minute) as a big ol gay

but to start… i only came to terms with it 100% after the breakup with my ex boyfriend.  and i loved this guy to death, and him leaving was so incredibly painful regardless of what my sexuality is.  anyway, tmi but ive hooked up with a stupid amount of men and like a handful of ladies, i was kind of trying to like “convert” myself by getting as much peen as possible, like they could fuck the gay out of me.  and it did work for awhile.  initially, at 16, i came out as bi because my first relationship ever was with a girl.  and we were totally open at school and stuff and i never got any flack.  i told my parents and they were chill but they totally thought it was a phase, and i honestly thought it was too.  after her until i turned 21 i exclusively dated men.

i trained myself not to look at girls ~that~ way in fear id be gay.  and trust me, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO ISSUE WITH GAYS. like, obvs its totes fine to be gay… i just didnt want to be, i wanted at least ONE aspect of me to be “normal” so i hung onto my fake heterosexuality for dear life in hopes i could fulfill my chinese side of the family’s dream of growing up and getting married to a man and owning a house and having babies.

so yes it wasnt until this past september after my breakup i started to realize things.  as much as i loved my ex, i didnt really enjoy kissing him, or sex or eveb TOUCHING him because it felt so off and bizarre but I LOVED HIM and wanted to please him so i did. and yes i did enjoy myself, but it didnt feel right. i felt like touching a penis was not right for me, at all LOL.

so anyway after that i took to the tinders and found ladies and slept with them and kissed them and everything felt so perfect and right.  i dated here and there but unfortunately they didnt wanna stay s that was upsetting but it really helped me come into my skin and realize yes its okay to like girls, its okay to me the more dominant one, its okay to be the big spoon and hold hands and piggy back them and i guess perform the traditional ~boy~ job in the relationship and it doesnt make me any less feminine. i identify as female, and i am a cisgender female, but i felt like if i was a lesbian and acted that way all of a sudden it was bad and weird ??? idk this is just my stupid logic here.

okay when i came out i was accidentally outed by my sister LOOOL she totally didnt mean to. but i was at my aunts house with my uncle, sister and mom.  and we were talking about tinder and she was like “oh raven matched with my friend madison from school and they should totally go out” and my relatives and mom got a puzzled look on their face and i was like fuck and my sister told me after she was gonna try and salvage the situation and i basically was like ya im gay…. and then i was met with silence. and then “really?… this isnt one of your crazy ideas is it” ok apparently i have ideas that are crazy and fleeting but YA HAHAHA IM JUST GONNA CHOOSE TO BE GAY RN and im like no ive known for awhile. honestly, probs since i was 13 but it took eight years to figure it out. and then they all sat there in silence, and i cried because i was so scared. but all of them were like omg no dont cry its fine!!!! and they all hugged me and were supportive and now suggest cute girls for me to date instead of cute boys. so tis all good!!!


sorry this was long and all over the place but yay thats my story!!!

anonymous asked:

I'm worried about not being masculine enough... I bind, but I know sometimes I shouldn't so when I don't I wear a bra and a dress. I still have everyone call me by my name and use he him pronouns. I have always liked dresses. Lately I have people on my case about if I want to be a man act like one... Idk what to do or say when this happens. I try to say I didn't become a Diffrent person but it doesn't really work. I normally become flustered and upset. Any advice? I mean... Am I weird?

That is another form of transphobia really. If you dont x then you’re not y. Thats not how it works. They are holding us to a far higher standard than they do of cis people. If a cis guy was to wear a dress no one would say ‘if you want to be a man’. Its still taboo to dress that way but their gender is not held over them like that. It always seems to be with us because we are not held to the same standards and are generally not taken seriously which is all down to more subtle transphobia. People dont seem to understand that gender is completely separate to things like that. It is constantly conflated with roles which is just wrong. Gender expression is a separate thing. You can easily be a more feminine man. Not all men are masculine by any means. We should not be held to higher standards

I would say that how you dress has absolutely nothing to do with your gender. It does not dictate or change it. Also we do not ‘want’ to be a man, we are. If they try to assign conditions to that then they are being transphobic. A cis persons gender is not suddenly revoked from them in the way they do to us and Im tired of it. You may not conform to societies stereotypes of how a man ‘should’ look/act but that doesnt make you less of one. Your gender is the same regardless of how you look compared to them. I think they need some education on this subject. There are many feminine cis men and masculine cis women, the same is true for trans people and they need to start accepting that. We dont have to fit into a stereotype in order for our gender to be real

anonymous asked:

If you don't mind me asking; what's the app you used to do the tarot reading?

oh i used my personal tarot deck to do the reading, and i dont know the meanings of some of the cards still so i used biddytarot’s website to get its meaning! its a really good site that tells u the upright and reversed meanings of all the cards in major and minor arcana!

if you dont have an actual deck, i’m sure theres gotta be online ones or apps for doing spreads, i just use a real life deck cause it feels a little more intimate to hold the cards in my hands :o

cryingcucumber  asked:

a while back, I know you added some ankle joints to a mh doll, dyou mind explaining how you did that? i want to try it myswlf bt I dont have fancy tools

I made heavy use of my Dremel–it can probably still be done without a Dremel, but it won’t be quick. I cut the feet off at the ankles, rounded off the top of each foot at that cut then made a wide cut (or rounded-out depression, depending on the joint type) into the foot to attach the joint. The leg gets rounded out to let the joint fit up into it, and a hole is drilled up into the legs to hold the joint.  I suspect my explanation is not very good, though–I’ll try to remember to photograph or record the next time I do it!

I just saw this story on facebook today and I have a lot to say. (I’m not sharing the picture of the boy that was with it OR his name in an attempt to save him and his family whatever privacy they have left.).

So firstly, because this is an atheist blog Im going to start by pointing out the clear disrespect for whatever beliefs that child and his family holds. Now, maybe you were trying to comfort the boy, and religion is something you use as a comfort for yourself, but when a child tells you they dont know how to pray its probably because they dont follow the same religion as you(if any). Their lack of knowledge of prayer is not an open door for you to tell them your beliefs are right and teach him the processes of them. Once again, I get that maybe you were just trying to give him comfort and thats okay, but you should really learn some new ways to comfort someone in need, because a “god” isnt always apart of the situation for them. You basically just told that child that whatever beliefs he’s being raised with is wrong and that yours are right; We all know that if someone did that to your child wed be in a court room right now(or atleast a viscous argument). 

Next, I need to address the pure breach of privacy you just did to this child and his family. You told his name, location, and the fact that he has siblings PLUS you insinuated a story that may or may not have happened. Repeatedly you implied that his parents(especially his mother) was at fault. You yourself said that he had multiple stores (of course you also said they were to “protect her” instead of entertaining the idea that maybe he was honestly mixed up as a four year old in a scary position).You have NO IDEA how he got on that road and yet you blamed his parents. Maybe he wondered off and his mom is freaking out right now, maybe he’s a runner, maybe his parents thought he WAS in the car and they noticed moments later and are worried sick about him, even if his parents DID make a mistake that doesnt give you the right to exploit them or their child. 

THERE IS A REASON THEY CANT GIVE YOU A FOLLOW UP TO A MINOR… Privacy, and now that childs face, name, location, and family are all over the internet with a story that isnt even the full truth as far as anyone knows. you need to stop. 

Thank you for stopping and helping this child in need, but please, nextime, think about what this kind of post would do to him and his family, think about respecting his familys beliefs, and most importantly try to keep an open mind on a situation you clearly have no idea about. 

-update, she removed the picture after the father asked, Im still upset that it was there in the first place-

do y'all ever feel creepy for having a crush like,, you’ll picture the two of you going on a hike and holding hands or going to one of those buildings filled with trampolines together and ur just like “stop!!! this is nonsense!!! u dont even know them that well stop thinking about them all the time!!! they would probably be weirded out by this bc they think of you as a friend at best,, S T O P”

most people who hate cats 

  • have only met other people’s cats, who may be shy or aggressive around people they dont know. they have genuinely never met a cat that cares about them
  • have no idea about cat body language, so when a cat is giving off signals saying “leave me alone” “stop touching me” “im annoyed” they keep giving it attention and end up getting swatted or bitten
  • have never met a cat in their life and just go off the stereotype that cats are jerks

can humanity just admit we’re not ready to make robots look like eery, fleshy humans…

It makes me sad to see a machine being forced to stretch flesh over its face to visually satisfy the ‘in-theory’ general human population. 

Id put my entire trust in a friendly box of wires. Ill hold hands with a metal claw!!! heck id date a computer if it genuinely asked me out!!!! You dont have to smile for me to know ur happy!!!!!!!

Realism is not the way to go. Let the robots be themselves!! Down With the Uncanny Valley!!!!!

Simple Water Spell to Dispel Anxiety

Really, it will dispel whatever you need it to. 

Materials

  • A large shell capable of holding water (can be subsituted for a bowl, though shell is recommended) 
  • A glass of water 

  • Black salt 


Performance 

  • Pour a bit of black salt into your left hand. Once you have, take a moment to hold it and close your eyes, slowing your breath and visualizing that whatever anxious thoughts you might have are rough water, splashing and crashing inside of you. 
  • Visualize that the rough water is flowing from your head down into your chest and up into your left hand, leaving behind only stillness and peace where it once was. Feel that energy be drawn into the salt that you hold. 
  • Open your eyes and hold your left hand over the shell. With your right hand, pick up the glass of water and pour it over the salt, letting it wash off of your hand and into the shell. Continue to pour the water until no salt or black stain is on your hand. 
  • Look down into the dark water inside of the shell and feel that all of your anxiety is contained within it. It is separated from you, leaving you a feeling of pleasant stillness. 
  • Take a few breaths to relax yourself further, focusing on that feeling of peace. 
  • Dispose of the water (preferably down a drain or somewhere where it won’t harm any plants). 
  • Repeat as needed.
🔮witchy tips🔮

Originally posted by fullmagicthings

🔮don’t be afraid to chant/speak during your spells. many people hold back from chant in their spells, or don’t give forward all of their energy when they chant. i am guilty of this as well. if you have a verbal piece in your spell, rock it, whether you’re in a coven, or alone. your spell will suffer if you do not pour your energy into it. dont be afraid! work it witch!

🔮don’t be afraid to use foreign language in your spells. although it is not completely necessary, different languages in spells are a tool that is at your fingertips. try it! you might like spell work in another language. 

🔮don’t be afraid to ask for help. if there is a certain topic you are confused on, ask someone in the community. don’t hold back from any questions. use your fellow witches as a recourse. if you have any questions, (although i’m still new myself,) you can come to me!

🔮defend your beliefs. many people imagine witches to be worshippers of satan. people believe that we sacrifice humans and sheep for spell work. you and i both know that this isn’t true, so, defend yourself! spread light on the craft. put into the world only what you wish would come to you. 

🔮be yourself in the craft. don’t hide yourself from other witches, and don’t hide your beliefs from others. it’s a beautiful world in which some scary people live, but personally, i believe our beliefs should be celebrated. celebrate yourself, because your gods and goddesses would want that for you.

love,
    mikey♡

I work at a supermarket and I was bagging this lady’s items when she started mumbling. Because she was looking at her phone I assumed it was about that.

Then she looks up and basically yells at me “I SAID I DONT NEED A BAG!” I just said “sorry I didn’t hear you” when she said “IVE SAID IT THREE TIMES ALREADY! WHAT, ARE YOU DEAF?” I looked her straight in the eye and said “I haven’t had a very good day today sorry, and I couldn’t hear you.” She then said “Well it couldn’t have been worse than mine! I had to deal with angry customers all day!”

She leaves after paying for her things, and I barely managed to hold back the tears until she left. I start serving the next customer while I’m crying because it’s a rush and they ask me what happened to me that day. I whispered “my grandfather died.” And they got a look of such pity and so did the other customers. My supervisors got some of the stock boys to go on registers and sent me out the back to calm down.

I basically forgot about this until a few days ago, when that same kind customer came in and looked so happy to see me. “You look so much happier than last time! I’m glad! I just wanted to give you this. I know it’s not much but the other customers in the line and I agreed you deserved something for dealing with a horrible person like that on a horrible day. Here. Please take it.”

He gave me a block of chocolate, and it honestly warmed me so much. I felt moved that a customer wanted to give it to me. They went and told my supervisor that they had bought it for me and that we were friends so it was okay. It was just such a kind thing for a customer to do months after I last saw them!

anonymous asked:

teach me wise master the art of dva

quick and simple guide to how to be a good dva:

1. SPRAY AND PRAY. your bullets do very little. so you need to ALWAYS be shooting. you dont have to reload, and all that happens is you slow down moving. rein has a shield up? constantly be firing. never stop shooting. get shields down. harass people from afar. people who are waiting at a choke who have to keep ducking/diving to stop taking damage can’t focus. always be firing.

2. YOUR DEFENCE MATRIX EATS ULTS. you can completely eat up projectile ults (hanzos dragons, meis blizzard, zaryas graviton) and in other ults (such as high noon, pharas justice) stand in front of them/block them with your body and hold down your defence matrix!! it’ll stop it from firing. you can save your entire team this way. if you feel like the enemy is saving ults, SAVE YOUR DEFENCE MATRIX. you need the full duration to eat most ults.

3. YOU CAN BOOP PEOPLE, JUST LIKE LUCIO. when you fly forward using your jets (i call it your bunny hop) you deal damage to the people you hit, and you can also push them back. TILT THE ENEMY TEAM. shove them off bridges, ledges, shove them off highground, make their day HELL. HARASS THEM!!

4. you do not need a zarya, mei or rein to get a good ult off. it’s good to have a graviton, a blizzard or a hammer down.. but it’s not 100% needed. you can still get 3-4 kills if you choose where you ult right. go onto practise maps with bots. experiment where to throw your ult. the bridges in lijang tower, for example, are GREAT. 

4.5. A STATIONARY ULT WITHOUT A ZARYA, MEI OR REIN IS USUALLY BAD. which is the only thing i’ll say abt it. if you don’t have one of them, FLY UP, ULT, and let your mecha fall back down. people won’t see it and won’t know where to run. it panics them. 

5. make sure you have the ‘is this easy mode?’ voice line equipped. you will win games.

GO FORTH AND BE A GOOD DVA!

- jesper holding wylan when he has panic attacks remembering his father or what happened to his mother

- jesper close around him, whispering one thing at a time, one thing at a time, even if that first thing is just to breathe

- jesper’s holding wylan’s face in his hands until the sky has cleared in his eyes and his breathing is steady again

- and wylan doing the same for jesper, when the itch in his bones is unbearable and he needs to go and drown himself in bad bets right now or he’ll lose his mind

- wylan holding his shoulders and pulling him down gently, kissing jesper until his arms finally circle around wylan

- wylan distracts him in other ways too; teaching him elementary chemistry or chopsticks on the piano; giving him a canvas and an easel and paint, giving jesper a way to get it out of his system without the weight of words

- the words “i love you” never leave their lips; they dont have to. they both know its there, swimming under their skin, ready to rush out if the surface were to be scratched

- its there in the small things, though, coffee in the morning and jesper reading anything that wylan needs to be read without prompting

- wylan illustrates jesper countless times, in charcoal sketches or bold oil paints, and every time he thinks he’s done it right, captured this impossible boy, this ten types of trouble, his breath is knocked out of him when he glances up and sees the real thing. he can immortalise bits of jesper on paper and canvas but the man before him is one piece of magic that won’t be tied down

look im all for progressing and growing and accomplishing goals in 2017.
but dont forget that it is still okay to have those off days. you are still going to have them and you cant really stop it. but thats also okay because no feeling is permanent and you’ll get passed it eventually. dont hold on to those high hopes of everyday being happy and perfect and fun because its just not realistic but just dont punish yourself for having those days. dont get too into becoming who you want to be right away. youll get there.

not every piece of fiction needs to be a how to on morality and artists arent obligated to teach you how to be a good person with their work. i dont think its unfair to hold your audience to basic expectations wrt morality, and to expect them to understand the difference between right and wrong, and i dont think its a creator’s fault when their work is misinterpreted. i feel like the way leftist media crit is heading u guys want everyone to just write heartwarming childrens media that has a diverse cast of good people and only that, and like thats great n all but i kinda wanna ever have fun and write something dynamic and interesting and for adults with a remotely nuanced understanding of morality and i dont think thats inherently wrong 2 do 

badboy!hyuck x nerd!mark

-bet all of you were thinking of bad boy!mark hm

-WRONG

-have you seen that one fanart of markhyuck in the chewing gum era where hyuck had his arm around mark and mark looked so innocent with his lil circle rimmed glasses and was holding hyuck’s hand that belonged to the arm that was around mark

-did that make sense

-who knows

-i dont

-even tho mark is older, he’s basically hyuck’s bitch let’s be like 1000000% real

-he’s the dominant one in the relationship

-nobody even knows how they started dating

-the most innocent boy in school with the bad boy

-so cliCHE

-hyuck reads people really easily

-and poor mark runs around with his heart on his sleeve and hyuck’s seen him get his heart broken one too many times and he couldnt take it anymore

-mark blushes sososososo easily and hyuck always takes advantage of that

-will call mark babe anytime anywhere

-”hey, what’d you get for question 2, babe?”

-”d-dont call me that at school!”

-”aw im sorry babe, i didnt know it affected you this much”

-donghyuck’s a fuckboy confirmed

-mark probably tries to tutor hyuck but hyuck always tries to pull some shit

-”STOP TRYING TO MAKE OUT WITH ME IM HERE TO HELP YOU STUDY”

-they end up making out anyway

-mark turns bright red at any type of contact

-donghyuck could put his arm around mark and mark would just immediately redden

-donghyuck’s the jealous type

-but it’s lowkey bc he has to stay cool!!!1!!1!!! cant let mark hyung know im jealous!!!!1!!111

-you know that cliche thing where person a slams their hand on like the wall or locker and pins person b against the wall

-sbfvsjdbfh hyuck does that to mark for fun

-donghyuck smirking is art and mark goe swehjbdsfkgbhjds,kf every time he smirks

-mark is such a precious lil angel in donghyuck’s eyes with his lil circle rimmed glasses and his soft pink hair donghyuck wants to protect him from everything dsfgvsjbfabhskjd

-soFT SMILES FROM MARK MELTS HYUCK’S COLD HEART

-there’s a saying around school: “mark’s the only thing donghyuck loves” and tbh theyre right

-sure hyuck’s friends with the dream team but mark’s just different, ya know?

-they can just lock eyes and theyll both know what theyre thinking

-if hyuck ever gets into fights you better fuckin believe mark’s there to patch his boyfriend up!!1!

-sometimes hyuck will just end up at mark’s house with bruises and a cut lip and give mark a heart attack

-hyuck just really likes when mark takes care of him

-”sit still hyuck, i cant get rid of the blood if you dont stop moving”

-”and if i dont?”

-sassy mark is a thing hyuck thoroughly enjoys

-”if you dont fuckin sit your dumbass down and shut the fuck up im going to throw you out of my house and dump you”

-”shit babe ok”

-most of the fights hyuck gets into is for mark now

-ever since they started dating

-if someone says shit about mark, they better be ready for hyuck to beat their ass

-”hyuck you gotta stop getting into fights for me!”

-”this wASNT FOR YOU THIS TIME”

-”ok then why did you get into another fight?”

-”… he threatened to steal you away from me”

-”… bitch you are so dumb”

-”i-”

-”SO DUMB”

-donghyuck would do anything for mark honestly

-mark could ask him for the galaxy and donghyuck would find a way to do so

-mark likes wearing his leather jackets

-and hyuck’s friends tease him when they see mark wearing his jacket or when it smells like mark

-”hey donghyuck where’s your jacket?”

-”uh….” *mark runs over waving donghyuck’s math homework with his jacket around him*

-whenever mark wears donghyuck’s clothes, donghyuck’s brain goes eshfkavsjdbfkygsdfjdbshkf

-donghyuck on the inside: “mark looks so smol and cute wearing my jacket… he is drowning in it and i am drowning in my feelings for him… oH NO HERE HE COMES I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING TO LET HIM KNOW I APPRECIATE HIM”

-donghyuck on the outside: “lol hey hoe wanna hang out after school”

-sweaterpaws mark is a common occurrence in the winter and doNGHYUCK CANT HANDLE THIS

-mark steals hyuck’s sweaters all the time

-hyuck started buying bigger size sweaters so whenever mark wears them, he’s basically drowning in them

-but then hyuck also drowns in them so mark likes holding hyuck’s sweaterpaws hands

-SCREECHES CAN YOU IMAGINE DONGHYUCK WITH A LIP PIERCING

-mark probably likes to tug on it lightly while they kiss

-it drives mark absolutely insane when hyuck plays with his lip piercing

-whenever hyuck licks his piercing mark just pouNCES ON HIM

-MARK FINDS HIS LIP PIERCING SO HOT

-mark is a jealous hoe too

-whenever girls look at hyuck, mark’ll grab his arm and put it around him

-when mark pushes up his glasses up his nose bridge hyuck just meLTS BECAUSE MARK LOOKS LIKE SUCH A SMOL BEAN AND MARK ALWAYS HAS THIS LIL SMILE ON HIS FACE AND SDAFJKJGVADSBHKDBSF

-mark the type to kiss donghyuck’s cuts so they can ‘heal faster’

-donghyuck gets a lot of nightmares so he tends to sleep over at mark’s a lot

-or have late skype calls

-mark doesnt mind at all when he wakes up at 3 am to his ringtone

-late nights always simmer donghyuck down to a slow boil and he becomes mellow and malleable and all his barriers just come tumbling down and mark just falls in love with him over and over again every time they talk at late nights

-whenever hyuck has a nightmare and he’s sleeping over, mark will wake up before hyuck does

-and he’ll look over sleepily and wakes donghyuck up slowly

-and theyll stay awake for like an hour or however long it takes donghyuck to calm down

-if anyone saw donghyuck the way he was after a nightmare, they’d never look at him the same

-he’s just so pliable and weak at times like that

-usually it’s hyuck pulling mark onto his lap but when the nightmare’s really bad, mark will pull hyuck onto his lap

-mark’s mom loves donghyuck like he’s family

-”so when are you and donghyuck getting married?”

-”mOooOoOoOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!1!!!!”

-hyuck likes peppering kisses on mark’s lips until he cant take it anymore and pulls hyuck by the collar to press their lips together

-pstt hyuck likes it when mark tangles his fingers in his hair

-whenever hyuck is yelling at his friends and mark comes swoopin in he turns into mush

-”YOURE SUCH A FUCKIN IDIOT I CANT BELIEVE YOU-”

-“hi hyuck! why’re you yelling?”

-“oOoH HI BABE I LOVE YOU HOW WAS YOUR DAY”

-bad boy!hyuck becomes such a softie for his baby boy nerd!mark ;-;

more out of context sentence starters.

of course feel free to change pronouns as necessary. and yes, these are actual things i have heard / said

  • “Your 2 year old kid is tanner than me”
  • “YEAH!! FUCK THE CORPORATION!! STICK IT TO THE MAN!! DONT LET YOURSELF BE TETHERED BY THE CHAINS OF CAPITALISM ANY MORE!!" 
  • "Are you rapping in French?!”
  • “Don’t tell dad I just did that.”
  • *gives you puppy eyes while holding a mango*
  • “I hat him so much. LOOK, that’s how much I hate that character, I can’t even type right.”
  • “ACCEPT MY AFFECTION YOU ASSHOLE”
  • “I liked making jokes about being a corporate sell out.”
  • “Generally people say ‘bless you’ when I sneeze but, sure, 'ew’ works too”
  • “You think this is a game, mom?”
  • “Wow, you have surprisingly good hand writing”
  • “It’s bad man… I have a pair of socks that remind me of him.”
  • “I’m getting a headache and that’s not good”
  • “If I hear the name Kardashian one more time I’m going to flip my shit”
  • “Is the tea okay??”
  • “Get in the bush”
  • “[name], do NOT dance”
  • (Sadly) “he’s a waffle”
  • “I will never die. I AM DEATH”
  • “[name]’s in a permanent mid-life crisis”
  • “Oh god, it depresses me when people eat pizza with a fork and knife.”
  • “I just quacked at them loudly" 
  • “No, you should take the last one”
  • "Fuck you and your goldfish" 
  • "To tall people we short ones still look human so we are probably creepy fetuses crawling amongst them while they scream '’ANOTHER ESCAPED THE WOMB’ "