but you are far away

I’ve been waiting for that moment when everything began to feel real. Even though I’m experiencing it, even though I’ve had the conversation with my parents, my boyfriend, my two oldest best friends, my employers, and even though I have started a YouCaring campaign and written about it on the internet, it didn’t feel real until I got this text from my expatriate college friend:

My heart aches learning all of this. I can’t imagine what you and your family are going through. I know I’m far away, but if you need anything, I’ll always be here for you.

That was when it hit me. I don’t know what about that made it be so, but it was.

We played Gin today. We watched The Golden Girls on my father’s chrome book. She has wires everywhere, rashes covering much of her skin, bruises from all the needles that have poked her. Every once in a while she moves her lines to the side and says “This is such fucking bullshit.” I have to agree.

The moments between taking care of my family and attempting to stay present with them were spent searching for what I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. I couldn’t google my sister’s cancer. It didn’t find anything. I had to read PDF files of medical journals to get the answers to my questions.

3%. 3% of the people with my sister’s type of cancer survive the next 5 years after their diagnosis. Nowhere said how many survive the next 10.

My sister is 23 years old, and science is 97% sure I have already outlived her.

The Nightmare

A/N: I want to dedicate this one to @peakyxshelby because she is AMAZING! And shared with me how I helped her with her panic attack and coincidently I wrote this before and the reader experiences one and LITERALLLY FOLLOW HER SHE’S AMAZING! This one’s for you!

“You sure you’re gonna be ok?” Your best friend Maggie says as your hiding in the back of the bustling ballroom. You’re hiding behind her as an effort to be modest for Grace’s sake. You knew the Blinders long before she had come into your life, but lately you’ve grown to like her much better than any of the hot-headed men. Her family was polite, and you were not; simple as that. Maggie blocked you from sight as you hike up the skirt of your sapphire dress, releasing the flask from its spot.

“Yeah, as long as I’m drunk and I stay far away from him,” you say as you pour the contents into a cup to blend in, then quickly working to put the flask back in it’s place, “everything will be fine.” You grunt as you struggle to keep the flask upright in your pantyhose. “God damn it, I really wish I had pockets.” You mutter, getting everything back in place and standing up.

“Avoiding him’s gonna be impossible.” Maggie says, taking a sip of her punch.

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Those moments when you feel how silly and weird you are for liking a grown ass man who happens to be your teacher, so you think of all the reasons why you like him, which don’t make sense at all, so through that you happen to convince your mind to stop thinking about him and your feelings start to fade a teeny tiny bit.

But then the next day you see him, and the mental battle the night before becomes forgotten and you find yourself enamoured by him again, just like that.

anonymous asked:

How would the Reaper, Ink, Error, Fresh, SF and UF Sans's react to waking up next to their S/O for the first time?

Reaper Sans

He’s just staring at you, completely amazed at how you’re still alive. Wait, you’re still alive right? He checks your breathing and sighs in relief. Assuming that he’s fully clothed, he just pulls you close and listens to your breathing. 


Ink can’t stop grinning. You look so perfect, so peaceful, that he grabs his notebook and sketches your sleeping form until you wake up. He shows you the picture and it’s a masterpiece. 


He’s wondering how you got close to him in the first place. Error is honestly freaked out because he does not like anyone in his personal space so he moves as far away from you as possible. When you wake up, he lectures you to respect his space. 


Literally, Fresh doesn’t have emotions. He has no reaction. 

Swapfell Sans

Black is smiling and takes a picture to tease you later. But really though, he’s happy that you trust him enough to not attack you in your sleep. He has to get to work, but he lays there for a few more minutes than usual because of how relaxed he is. 

Underfell Sans

Holy shit, Red doesn’t want to move. He’s afraid that he might accidentally wake you up and this moment will be over forever. He watches over you to make sure that you’re comfortable and slowly brings himself closer to you, nuzzling your neck. He soon falls asleep again. 

anonymous asked:

I think they cut something out of the club scene tbh. So when they're all sitting at the table talking and Veronica is saying how her mom makes her name mean nothing, and suddenly she's sees Betty across the room. She stops talking, and says she has to go address something and she goes up to Betty and dances. And she says: "Thank god you're here, Reggie is terrible arm candy. He is far from gorgeous compared to you" And they dance the night away. Sadly it was cut. idk why

Yeah that’s super weird I hope we see it as a deleted scene soon 😕

anonymous asked:

...i know, his mixtape was so good and i think he deserves more recognition /: (and do you know why we wont get the 'so far away' mv?)

crap! this is a different issue all together… LOL… 

I honestly have noooo idea. One day it gets leaked that we were getting 3 MVs from Agust D… Then suddenly Min Yoongi answers in a post it from a fansign… that it ain’t coming… LOL

I dunno, maybe it was for our own good… maybe the collab would be too much for our little hearts to take.. or maybe it was never shot at all… T_T

This enters my cache of Bangtan mysteries… which also includes but is not limited to the ff: 

- WTH was there a red mark on Kookie’s neck and what were the bruises on his arm

- Whether they all have those jeans with lace thigh chokers or they share one

- Why Jimin and Yoongi seem to be allergic to taking twitter selcas together since Run era

- Why Namjin standing together always look like disapproving rich parents

- Why suddenly Jihope and Vmon are roommates when not a few weeks ago we found out that MinJoon and VHope were roomies… 

anonymous asked:

the actual worst experience of alex's life is when kara limps into the deo one morning grinning like an idiot the day after she solar flared. there are highly visible hickeys going down her neck and downward. alex needs to bleach her eyes immediately and j'onn wishes for death

‘how far away can you send me on a mission and how fast can i leave?’ alex to j'onn, with desperation in her voice

Giantslayer (pt. 1) [Edmund Pevensie]

Summary: When you enter Narnia, your only companions are a Gentle Giant and a ginger cat. After hearing about four human Kings and Queens of Narnia, you decide to pay them a visit. You never expected for them to take a strong liking to you, especially a certain dark-haired king. Requested by @abbeylou7

Word Count: 1,563

Note: Ahh, this took forever, I am so sorry! I plan on making this a two part or three part imagine so the prompts you requested should come in then.

Warnings: None.

One and ½ Years Ago. Earth.

Clouds drift across the azure sky as you lay on a grassy hill, far away from home, the cause of many problems in your life.

Your parents want you to go to college and follow in their footsteps, while you want to do what you want to do.

“Why do they have to decide for me?” you mutter to yourself. “I wish I could go someplace where I can be whatever I want. A doctor, a lawyer, a defender of justice. I wish I could…I could run away.”

The idea starts to take root in your mind and you sit up. Something sparks in your eyes and you push yourself to your feet. Cupping your hands around your mouth, you shout at the view below you. “I will run away! I will do what I want! My parents won’t be able to stop me!”

You start to march down the hill, fists clenched and chin up, telling yourself that you will do this.

But then the strangest thing happens. As you stomp, you find yourself moving higher and higher, the forest below you getting smaller and smaller. Looking down at your feet, you scream as you see that there is nothing beneath you. It is impossi–

And then you plummet.

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anonymous asked:

I'm just so happy Harry and Louis have each other in all this mess. I know we all have 478 questions and I get why people feel anxious sometimes, cause we see 10% and we don't see the band interact or at one place together! We also just can't know what limits they have, what is tied to what etc. I just hope the fans don't loose trust in them and give each member a fair shot. And I hope that Harry's and Louis happy ending isn't that far away x

Very much with you on everything, anon, thank you :)

anonymous asked:

Tired anon (and anyone else who needs it) babe I love you so much and I'm so sorry you feel this way. I know how hard it can be but you aren't alone. So many people love and care and need you here. Alive. Safe. I know it seems so far away right now, but you'll survive today. And tomorrow. I will help you. Just make it through today. Right now. Breathe, do what makes you happy. Create, rest, anything. Take care of yourself. You deserve it. Stay alive. Please. I love you so so so much you'll be ok


anonymous asked:

Hello lovely! I'm also a rural witch, and I was just wondering how we make use of the things around us differently. I love learning how other rural witches make use of the bounty around them, while dealing with the lack of connection to other things!

Since there isn’t a ton of people around, but a lot of animals and plants, it’s a witch’s paradise out in small rural towns. That is, if you know how to keep secrets.
As a traditional witch, all the things I need are right around me. Big iron nails? There’s a broken down barn down the road. Horse’s hair? I know plenty of people with horses. Pig fat? Same deal. And when it comes to plants, the wood isn’t far away. You can go there and harvest them all yourself. 
Who other than a rural witch could say they made a flying ointment out of the fat from the heart of a buck? We know plenty of hunters, and as long as you don’t tell them what you’re using it for, they’ll usually be more than happy to give it up. In fact, some know what I do with it and give me more beast parts for that reason. Sometimes that plays into favors, but you get my point. 
I would argue that there’s more connection when you’re a witch in a rural setting. Yes, you lack other people, specifically other witches, but that’s how I like it. You get alone time with your land. There’s a very prevalent bond there. Work the land and the animals on it, and it will warm up to you. 
There are many things to learn out here. These are things people can’t teach you. You just have to listen and watch. There are secrets in old rural towns.