but yes i still feel like punching myself in the face for not having looked at his beautiful face for even one second

anonymous asked:

Hello! I really like your blog. Can I ask to write about how RFA + Saeran forgot about MC's birthday and missed it? If it's possible from their viewpoint.

Oh boy, that got so long, these are basically mini-fics, I’m just too lazy to take it out of the topics lolol. Hope you enjoy it! ^^


   RFA + Saeran forgetting MC’s birthday

Zen

  • His new musical debuted that night, after it was over, he ran to the dressing room looking for you, but… you weren’t there?
  • He asked the staff if you were still in your seat, they said they didn’t even see you that night.
  • “Oh, she must be with Jaehee.” He texted both of you, none of you texted back. Weird…
  • He called you, nothing. He called Jaehee, she answered, but there was some loud music playing. “Jaehee, is MC with you?”
  • “WHAT??? ZEN, WHERE ARE YOU??? ARE YOU OUTSIDE???” she was yelling
  • “Outside where, Jaehee? Outside the theatre?” “WHAT??? ZEN, MC IS WORRIED, AREN’T YOU COMING???” he heard Yoosung yelling  “BOO, WHAT KIND OF BOYFRIEND MISSES HER OWN GIRLFRIEND’S BIRTHDAY PARTY???YOU’RE MISSING IT, PRETTY BOY, THIS PARTAAAAY IS CRAZY” he sounded drunk
  • Then it hit him… SHIT! It was today! Your birthday!!! How could he forget that?
  • He saw you in the morning, you sounded so excited, but you were always so bubbly, he didn’t even notice you were especially excited that day. Oh god… just remembering your beautiful smile made his heart sink in guilty. Why didn’t you say anything?
  • “Wake up, Zen! She’s not like you to be bragging about her own  birthday!” he thought. Yes, you were nothing like him at all, you were so sweet, so selfless… he was a selfish workaholic who abandoned her girlfriend in her first birthday with you! Ugh… he was the worst boyfriend ever!
  • His colleagues invited him to an after party, he declined. He needed to know where your party was happening… Calling you would be the most embarrassing and hurtful thing he could ever do!
  • Calling Jaehee seemed hopeless. Yoosung? Yeah, obviously not!  Seven would tease him for not knowing where the party was. There was only one person discreet enough he could call… but it was Jumin fucking Han! God… asking that jerk a favor made him feel sick, but it was for MC… he would do anything for his precious girlfriend.
  •  Jumin answered quickly, the music wasn’t too loud, he was probably a little away from the crowd, that antisocial freak! No…  he needed to ask him a favor, it wasn’t the time to cuss him out. “Where are you? MC is concerned” he said in a monotone tone.
  •  “I need to ask you something, but you have to promise me you won’t say anything! If you say something, I swear I’ll…” “You’re about to ask me a favor, yet you’re threatening me? How bold…” “LISTEN, YOU JERK! I get it, I’m an asshole, ok? I screwed up her birthday! You have no idea how much I regret it… I…” no, he could not do that talking with Jumin, pull yourself together! “I need to know the address of the party…”
  •  “Are you serious? You really don’t know?” “Don’t make me feel worse, dude! I can do that by myself!” “I’m not doing it on purpose, I’m just reminding you of your irresponsibility… did you even get her a present?” “DUUUUUUDE! I TOLD YOU I COULD MAKE MYSELF FEEL WORSE! OH GOD!”
  •  “Zen, pull yourself together, please. This is quite embarrassing for me too… think objectively, what can you do right now? There must be something…” Zen thought for a few seconds… there was something he could do!
  • “Hey, jerk! I thought of something! Tell me the address and I’ll take care of everything else! I just need a prop I saw backstage and…” “What do I get in return?” “DUDE, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?”
  •  “I’m a business man, I need to know what will be my gain on this.” He could almost see the smirk on that son of a bitch’s face. “Fine! There’s something I can do along with my… surprise for MC. Give me the address and see for yourself.” “But…” “Just trust me on this one, ok? Now here’s what you need to do…”
  • You were dancing with Seven, he was making silly moves to make you laugh and distract you from your concern about your boyfriend.
  • Were you mad? Nah, why would you? It was his career after all… I mean, should you be mad about your boyfriend forgetting your birthday? The first one with you as a couple? Even if he couldn’t ditch work, he saw you in the morning, he should had said something! A day has fucking 24 hours, Zen! Calling you wouldn’t take more than a few minutes, for fuck’s sake. Yep, you were mad.
  • Seven stepped away from you a little, you looked like you were gonna punch someone. Then, he stared at the little stage on the nightclub, you followed his gaze and… what was Jumin doing up there?
  • “Is this thing on? Is it? Okay…” he said in the microphone, then he cleared his throat and took a piece of paper from his pocket “Yes, good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We gathered here today to celebrate our dear friend, MC’s birthday tonight.” A blue light showed up to your face as people applauded you, what was Jumin doing? This was so embarrassing…
  • “I sincerely hope it was a day of joy for you, MC, that you received all the love and affection from your friends and family. And… I hope you’re prepared right now… for the ultimate demonstration of love from your boyfriend.” You could hear people making “uuuhh…” sounds. “He made me say this tacky speech and, to quote him, ‘I apologize for being late, I’m selfish and I care too much about my image, that’s why I didn’t even consider not doing that musical today. However… to show you how much I love you and how sorry I am, I’m letting go of my image today, I’m even letting go of my pride and letting a jerk read my apologize for you.’ Oh… I’m, I’m the jerk right now. Interesting… anyway, enjoy your boyfriend’s gift, MC!” he got off the stage still muttering “How ungrateful…”
  •  The nightclub staff carried a huge cake to the stage. Oh god… you knew where this was going, oh no… Yep. Your boyfriend came out of the cake wearing only underwear with a decorative bow on it and… freaking cat ears on his head.
  • Seven was laughing hard, Jaehee was feeling bold after a couple of drinks and took a lot of pictures, Yoosung was passed out on the corner and didn’t see anything, Jumin kept his head low trying not to let everybody see him chuckling, and you… were still a little mad, but it was impossible not to feel happy to see him (and maybe a little turned on)
  • So you just went up on that stage and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, he whispered “happy birthday” and you smiled softly, it was impossible not to smile right now.

Yoosung

  •  “Yoosung, I let your green shirt on the hanger, oh, and be careful when you go to the bathroom, I think there’s something wrong with the lock… The roast beef is on the oven, don’t touch it! I’ll just go to the convenience store and see if they have that sauce we liked the other day, ok?”
  • “Mmmmhmm” he mumbled, staring at his laptop’s screen. You couldn’t bother wondering if he was really listening, you were in such a hurry to get everything done.
  • He didn’t know why you were running everywhere, it was just dinner! What was so special about this one?
  •  He was just worried about this quest, there were so many rare items available right then.
  • He was done a few minutes later, he stretched his arms and let out a yawn. “MC?” you didn’t answer. “MC? Are you in the bathroom? I’m coming in…” he entered and the door closed behind him.
  • He yelped, scared. He tried to open the door a few times and got more and more tense as he realized he was really trapped inside the bathroom. His phone was on his bedroom. Shit…
  • He heard the living room’s door being open.  “MC? MC, is that you?”
  • “Yoosung? Where are you?” “I’m trapped in the bathroom, I think there’s something wrong with the lock” “Yes, I know” “You knew? Why didn’t you tell me?”
  • “ I told you, Yoosung! You didn’t hear anything I said before I left?” “Where were you, anyways?” You sighed deeply. “Nevermind, Yoosung, let me call a locksmith and try to get you out of here before the night is completely ruined!”
  • Wow, you really sounded frustrated, this dinner was that important to you? Why?
  • “Oh, don’t worry, MC!  I can always cook some fried rice really quick like I normally do.” “Well, isn’t that the point? Doing something different because tonight is special?”
  • “Oh, sure…” Why is tonight special? Think, Yoosung, think! “Yes, tonight is a very special day…for… us?”
  • You glared at the door as you could actually see him. “Yoosung? What day is today?” “Today? T-Today? Hum… Friday?”
  • “I knew it! I knew you weren’t listening to me earlier, I knew you didn’t know what day is today! Gosh, I’m so stupid! My friends tried to drag me to this bar, but no, I insisted on spending my birthday with my boyfriend!” OH FUCK!
  • M-MC! It’s today! Yeah!” “Yes, you could at least notice the presents that came, but you were too busy with that fucking game all day, right?” You were freaking terrifying when you swore, he was shivering
  • “MC, I don’t even know how to proper apologize right now, I’m so sorry! I… bought your present months ago and I guess I just… forgot?”
  • “Yes, Yoosung, you forget everything around you when you play that game! Seriously… I… I can’t believe the only way to make you listen to me is with  you locked up like this… this is so… fucked up!” Another swear, another shiver! But what you said gave him an idea. “So… keep me like this…” “What?”
  •  “Seriously, keep me like this! We can call the locksmith tomorrow morning. I don’t have my phone or computer with me, so all I can focus is your voice now. Tell me everything and I’ll listen.” “What are you saying? This is weird!”
  • “So let’s do it as a game! How about that: for every year of your life, you tell me something I should know about you? Silly things or meaningful things, you tell me everything and I’ll listen!” You were still hesitating, but… your boyfriend listening to you all night long? That was… sort of fun… you took a deep breath and sat in front of the bathroom door. You could not see each other, but that was better, so you wouldn’t feel embarrassed telling him… very intimate things. “Okay… fact number one about me…”
  • It was morning when you finished, you both were laughing because you told him funny things about you in high school. “Hey, MC?” “Yes, Yoosung?”  “I know I’m late, but… happy birthday!” “Thank you, Yoosung… now let’s get you out of there” your voice got back to the sweet tone he loved so much, he knew he had to do a lot to make it up to you, but now… he was just relieved you didn’t sound mad, and he learned so much about you, this would be really useful later…
  • As soon as he was released, he rushed over you and planted a firm and passionate kiss in your lips, you’ve never seen him like this! “Thanks for your services, sir. Now if you’ll excuse us, I have to make my girlfriend’s dream number 18 come true!” he paid the guy, took your hand and leaded you to the bedroom.

Jaehee

  • She would never! I mean, NEVER EVER forget your birthday! As soon as you started dating, she marked the date on her calendar, she was prepared for this day months ago!
  • You probably knew she was planning everything, so it hit her. You KNEW, it would be no surprise for you at all! She never saw your surprised face before, she would love to see your eyes widening, your mouth opening in a gasp and then turning into a smile for her… oh… it must be so adorable!
  • You always complimented her diligence, her ability to plan something at every detail, but now… she just wanted not to be like that, at least for one day, your day… she had to surprise you somehow!
  • So she thought… what if she pretended to forget your birthday? And when the day was almost ending, she would surprise you with something very romantic and special? It would be so bold and unexpected of her, she couldn’t wait to show you this side of her!
  • It was harder than she thought. When the day came, she kept holding back all the hugs she wanted to give you, the urge to say “Happy Birthday! I love you!”. God… you were looking at her as if you were expecting something! Those puppy eyes, ugh… somebody save her!
  • But she kept going through, it would all be worthy for both of you at the end of the day.   “Jaehee, is there something you wanna say to me?” “Hum… you’re doing a good work today, MC!” “Jaehee, you have nothing to give me today?” “Oh yeah, I have you to give this receipt from the milk distributor, you forgot to sign here.” This was fucking torture!
  • You two closed the cafe in complete silence, she noticed you weren’t as excited as you were that morning. Your smile disappeared from your face as soon as the last customer left.     
  • “So,MC, ready to head home?” “Oh, I… already have plans for tonight.” WHAT? “Oh… you do?” “Yeah, I’m gonna get some drinks with some friends.” “N-No! You can’t!” she said in a high and surprised tone. “Why not?”
  • “W-Well, because you… didn’t you say you were trying to quit drinking?” “I think you’re mistaking me with Zen, Jaehee…” SHIT!
  • “I’ll be back soon, you don’t have to wait me awake if you don’t want to.” Oh… your passive-aggressive tone, it gave her the creeps everytime you acted like that.
  • “Well, can I… can I go with you?” “Oh, it’s just a silly thing with some girls from college, I don’t think you would enjoy that much…  but you’re more than welcome to come.” Yeah, you definitely didn’t want her to join you, you were PISSED
  • “So… I’ll go home just to take a shower and change, ok?” Oh no, the surprise! Time to move, Jaehee! “MC, YOU CAN’T GO!” you looked at her, surprised. Noticing you got a little scared, she lowered her voice “P-Please… don’t go…”
  • “Why not?” Think of something! Quick! “W-well, b-be-e-cause… I… I…  I don’t like your friends, MC!” “What?” “Yes, you… act different after you see them, you get… immature and… annoying!” you could not believe this! Neither could she, what was she doing? When did everything get so out of control?
  • “Annoying?” you scoffed “Wow, okay… thanks for the note, Jaehee! I’ll… well, sorry to disappoint you, but I’ll go get annoying and immature with my friends  tonight, at least they don’t forget my fucking birthday!” and you stormed out of the cafe. She was just… speechless, she could not think of a reaction right now.
  • She thanked God for the fact that the house you shared was not far from the cafe, she could reach you without a problem.
  •  And she got home just in time to see the face she was craving so much to see, but… the tears weren’t a part of her fantasy. “MC? I… I’m so sorry. I… tried to make you a surprise, I thought it would be even surprising  if I pretended I forgot your birthday, but now I see it was so childish of me. I’m really sorry, MC! I don’t hate your friends, I just said that to keep you away from the house, I think they’re great just like you, they’re funny and creative and… bold, like you! And… definitely not like me… I’m-”
  • You interrupted her with a intense yet sweet kiss, she was took by surprise, but quickly catched up with you. “Don’t talk about yourself like this, especially on my birthday…” “Yes, of course, MC, I’ll just say sweet things from now on…”
  • “You should start with a ‘Happy Birthday!’” you both laughed through your tears, you two looked so dork, it was so cute…

Jumin

  • He didn’t really forgot, he just… miscalculated how long that business trip would last.
  • At least that’s what he told Zen over the phone when he called very angry and judgemental about missing his “so called precious girlfriend”. Jumin didn’t want to hear anything of this, mainly because he knew Zen was… ugh… right…
  • He wanted to call you, but was he really ready to listen your sad voice? Would he be able to handle it? His emotions were still a mysterious field, even if you were helping him through. But the things you said and did affected him on a very unpredictable way, so… calling you seemed reckless right now.
  • He would miss it, it was already set. He wouldn’t make in time. All that was left was trying to get you the most thoughtful and amazing gift and take some days off from work to make it up to you. Would it be enough?
  • But then… he saw the photos in the chatroom. MC and the other RFA members at a bar, it would be a cute friend’s photo if Zen WEREN’T THAT CLOSE TO YOU, WITH HIS ARM AROUND YOUR SHOULDER!!!
  • Jumin let out a low groan… this wasn’t right! It was supposed to be his arm around your shoulder… and probably not in that commoner’s bar. You deserved so much better on your birthday! You deserved… a better boyfriend…
  • He caught himself on his private jet, telling the pilot to get there asap. It was a good weather, this wouldn’t take long.
  • And it really didn’t, but now there was another problem… Driver Kim was not picking up his calls! What was he doing? Oh right… Jumin gave him some days off since he was on this business trip, only because MC insisted he needed some rest… he would feel aroused about all this irony if this wasn’t gettin in the way of something so important.
  • He took a cab, this driver didn’t feel reliable, but he was desperate. And the guy guaranteed he could get him to his destination in the shortest amount of time.
  • He just saw the light and heard a loud bang on the side of the cab… then everything got dark.
  • Zen gave you a ride to the hospital on his bike. He was mad, but tried to stay collected to not make you feel more nervous. Jaehee, Seven and Yoosung were already there. Zen and Jaehee wanted to go with you, you insisted on going alone and Seven convinced everybody this was the best right then.   
  • “Don’t talk! Don’t even try using your smothering words to make me forget what you did, Jumin Han! What were you thinking? Are you insane?” Silence… “ANSWER ME!”
  • “You… said you didn’t want me to talk…” he said with his usual calm tone, but in the inside he was terrified, you seemed… not like yourself at all. “Jumin, I swear to God I’ll slap this handsome face of yours and give this hospital a reason to keep you here for a while, don’t test me right now!” you were so scary! And sexy… no, FOCUS, JUMIN!
  •  “I didn’t want to miss your birthday, it didn’t seem right…” “So what? How getting on an unlicensed cab fit into this? Oh my god… do you have any idea how panicked I got when the hospital called me?” you were trying to compose yourself “Why did you get back? I was ok with your business trip getting longer than planned…” “I… saw the photo in the chatroom, you and… Zen…” oh, he should not have mentioned that, you were losing it again.
  • “Zen? You were worried about Zen? Oh my god, Jumin! What the fuck is wrong with you? What were you thinking? Seriously, I want to know how your brain works! Did you really think I was cheating on you?”
  • “I WASN’T THINKING, MC! I was… I don’t know what’s gotten into me, I saw the photo and I just knew I had to be there with you. That’s what happens, I don’t… think when it’s about you, I just… feel.”
  • “Jumin, I made myself very clear about using sweet talk right now…” “But it’s the truth, I swear! MC, I love you, I want to be with you at every special moment of your life.” “And do you think this is a special moment? You in a hospital bed making me feel so terrified of losing you? On my fucking birthday, Jumin?” your voice was breaking, and then came the tears.
  •  “I’m sorry for making you worry, MC. I was childish and imprudent, and I should do better when it concerns you, us… I’m… really sorry… and this feels completely inappropriate, but… happy birthday…” you sighed heavily and gave up, being angry wouldn’t take you anywhere. Your boyfriend was alive, just a few scratches here and there, and you were together! You curled up to him on the bed, then you just… talked.
  • “Did you really came here on Zen’s bike? Did you wear a helmet? Did you… put your arms around him?” “Jumin, Zen is the least of your problems right now, just wait till we get home.” again… so terrifyingly sexy… it felt strange hearing these things instead of saying it for once.

Saeyoung

  • You two were not on speaking terms right now, it was a pretty bad fight, although now he didn’t really remember how and why it started. It was something about one of his pranks? About him going too far? Yes, it was something like this…
  • Anyways, he didn’t feel like apologizing, you were probably overreacting, soon you would come to your senses and talk to him again.
  • But this was taking too long, he haven’t heard from you for almost a week, were you that mad? The RFA members were refusing to talk about this, this was between you two, he should solve this if it was bothering him so much.
  • He got out of his office for the first time in three days and heard someone in the living room. It was you? Were you finally back? Hum, no… it was Saeran. And he was… wrapping this box on a shiny red wrapper?
  • “Hey bro, whachu doing?” “What do you think I’m doing? Wrapping this gift, you fool! MC’s favorite color is red, right?” “Yes, it is… is this for MC?” “No, is for the pope… of course it is for her!”
  • “Why?” “Quit shitting around and go get ready, we’re gonna be late!” “Late for what, Saeran? What’s going on?” “MC’s party! Seriously, did you bang your head or something?” “Party, why is she having a party?” he felt a little hurt you were throwing parties while you two were fighting like that.
  • “Wait… did you really forget?”  “What? What did I forget?” “Holy fuck! You really forgot your girlfriend’s birthday!” “What? No, I didn’t! Her birthday is in a few months, bro!” “Hum, no ‘bro’, it’s today!”. Saeyoung scoffed: “No, it isn’t! Come on… I checked every information about her when we met, there’s no way I would forget the day she was born!” “Well, check again, you probably messed up the informations in your stupid brain.” He was starting to get mad at Saeran for doubting him, he was the one messing it up! So he went to check your background history  and yes, your birthday was… your birthday was… shit! TODAY!
  • “Oh Lord! Oh Lord! Oh Lord!” he started panicking and running in the house. How could he forget? He was so adamant about you apologizing he didn’t even notice that day was coming? What a selfish asshole he was! “Oh my God, Saeran! I’m so screwed!” “Yep…”
  • “Don’t ‘yep’ me! Help me! I need to do something!” “Exactly, YOU need to, don’t get me involved in this, you were the one who screwed up, just apologize to her already!” “This isn’t enough! I, Saeyoung Choi, need to come up with something as special and amazing as my lady. And you were gonna help me! This is a mission for the Choi boys!” “I asked you a million times not to call us that…”
  • He came with a plan and headed with his brother to your place. When he got there, he noticed it wasn’t a big party, it was more like an intimate reunion with RFA and your closest friends. Hum… he was expecting something big as his surprise, but this would do, anyways.
  • Saeran cleared his throat and gathered everybody’s attention. “MC, my brother is an asshole and he wants to ‘apologize’. Enjoy this freak show and happy birthday!” he said in a monotone tone as turning the music on.
  • And then Saeyoung came out of your bedroom lip syncing “Birthday” by Katy Perry in a full cosplay of her. Nobody was in shock because, well… they already knew your boyfriend, you got embarrassed when you looked at your parents watching that. When he finished, people weren’t sure if they should clap or not.
  • “I’m so sorry, MC! I’m such a prick for not talking to you and there’s nothing I could say right now to make it up to you, so I did this. If I can’t be mature enough, at least I can make you laugh, and… I believe it was the great american artist Katy Perry who said ‘So make a wish! I’ll make it like your birthday every day!’. Happy birthday, MC! I love you!”
  • “Oh, Saeyoung…” you were crying and leaned to him, he was waiting for a kiss, but you went to his ear and whispered: “Got you!” He looked at you puzzled as Zen and Yoosung unrolled a banner where it could read “You got pranked, brah!”
  • “MC, what’s happening?” “I was mad at you because of that bad prank you pulled on me last week, so I decided to take some revenge. I told everybody to come here today to pretend it was my birthday, so it would look like you forgot it.” “But your background history…  the date…” “Saeran took care of this for me. You’re not the only hacker in the family, right?” he looked at Saeran, he just raised his glass with a smirk. “Oh, and putting Katy Perry as one of my interests was his idea too. I had no idea you were going to show up like this… guess he knows you a little better than I do”
  • “Oh… my… God! I… I… ” he looked shocked, almost hurt, now you were wondering if you went too far… but the truth was… he was so happy you and his brother were getting along, even teaming up to make something for him, even if it was to make him look like a fool, he didn’t mind, he was just… really happy “I LOVE YOU TWO SO MUCH!” and he pulled you and Saeran in a tight hug.

Saeran

  • “Shit! Shit! Shit!” he was cursing and pacing back and forth ever since he saw the calendar, it was today! How could he forget?
  • Truth be told, he had one of his episodes last night, when that happened, he would lost his sense of time and place. This would be even worse when you weren’t around to calm him down, and why weren’t you around? Oh yeah, you were planning your birthday party, yeah, that one he refused to help with because ‘it was lame’ as he told you over the phone. Oh god…He was the worst, wasn’t he?
  • He got out of his bedroom and went looking for Saeyoung, but all he found was a note. “Helping MC, party starts at 9 pm at her place, don’t be late! P.S.: Call her, bro. Love, Saeyoung” he rolled his eyes, but this was kind of useful. Except for that piece of advice about calling you. How could he? He didn’t talk to you all day and you would notice right away the reason the disappeared, and you would be worried, his brother would hear about this and they both would feel guilty for leaving him alone and… he hated to see your concerned expression, it was too much painful.
  • At least he bought a nice gift, it was a simple bracelet, but he knew you should have it when he saw you looking at it that day you two went to shopping. Now he just needed to take a quick shower and find some decent clothes. He still had time, right? WRONG!
  • It was already 10 pm! How could he lost notion of time  that much? He felt like shit! Your place was pretty far from Saeyoung’s bunker, it would take at least a half hour to get there by train. What about by car?
  • He went to the garage and took one of his brother’s car, Saeyoung woudn’t like this, but he didn’t give a shit right now. It was all about you!
  • He was a little rusty from driving, but still knew the basics, like… stopping and… most important, accelerating! And boy, did he speed it up
  • He muttered a “fuck! What now?” when he saw the police car reflected on the rearview mirror. Yeah, he knew he had to stop, this guy wouldn’t get off his back.  
  • “Documents, sir?” “Shit! I don’t… I don’t have it right now!” “Sir, are you aware that you were much faster than the speed limit?” “Yeah, look… I’m just trying to make it to my girlfriend’s party, I’m pretty late and…” “Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to get out of the car…” “What? Fuck! No!” “Sir, please… I don’t want to use force!” “Well, I don’t want to use force either, so just get the fuck away!” “Sir, calm down a little and…” “No! Don’t tell me what to do, your asshole! I know my rights!” “So you know you have the right to remain silent, you are arrested for contempt of authority, just come with me calmly or I’ll charge you for resisting to prison too.” FUCK! He didn’t even mind about this, all he could think of was you… and how disappointed you would be right now
  • You and Saeyoung came to the police station, neither of you said anything, you two were too scared. Saeran could not have a criminal record, nobody should know about this, what if his father found out? That’s what you two were thinking, but were too scared to say it out loud. “Me and Jumin are taking care of this, don’t worry, nobody will know a thing. At least I managed to not let him get locked up, so he’s in the interrogation room. Go talk to him but make it quick, okay?” you nodded, you didn’t know what to say
  • He took a quick glance at you and lowered his head, he could not look you in the eye right now. “I… I know you’re mad, ok? I’m sorry! I was just… trying to get to your place, I didn’t know I was so late, you know what happen when I have… those panic attacks, and… I should’ve called you, my stupid brother was fucking right, I can’t believe it! I feel so shitty right now, MC! I can’t believe I’m putting you to this on your own birthday, I’m such a piece of shit! I… I… don’t deserve you at all. I’m…”
  • You interrupted him with a hug. He was handcuffed, but oh did he want to hug you back… even if he knew he didn’t deserve it… “I was so worried about you…” were you… crying? Oh no… “You can’t do this to me, Saeran! That cop had a gun! What if he… oh, I don’t even want to say it!” Wait! Weren’t you mad? You were… worried…? For him?
  • “A – Aren’t you… mad?” “Of course I’m mad! But I’m more relieved to see you’re ok, I love you so much! You know that?”
  • “Yes, of course I know, MC. And I hate to see you like this because of me, you should be smiling today, no, not just today, everyday!” “So don’t get into trouble because of me, you dork!” oh, you called him dork, you were calming down… “I won’t, I swear! Me being safe will be your birthday gift! This and… this.” He pointed to the little box in his pocket. “They took everything from me, but I woudn’t let they take this… Happy Birthday, MC! I mean… as happy as can be…”
  • You laughed and took the box out of his pocket, you opened, looked at him and kissed him in a sloppy and desperate way. “Okay, break it off you two! This isn’t a motel room!” The cop interrupted getting in the room. “You must know some important people, fella. You’re getting away with a clean file.” “So I’m free to go?” “Yep, let me just get you out of these handcuffs and you can escort your lady.”
  • “Oh, he better do much more than escort me when we’re out of here. Oh, and don’t feel too comfortable about getting rid of these handcuffs, you’ll be back to them as soon as we get home, maybe I have a pair that matches my new bracelet?” the look in your eyes… he could tell you weren’t kidding. This was a huge turn on, but he wasn’t really used to you playing this role, so he wasn’t sure what to expect… “Can you keep me arrested here for tonight, officer? I feel I’ll be safer around here.
Chromatic.

Series: Yoongi | Jungkook | Namjoon | Taehyung | Jimin | Jin

Genre: Angst, but a happy ending; Soulmate!AU where you lose color vision when you meet your soulmate

Pairing: Hoseok X Reader

Word Count: 3.3K

Originally posted by jitonic

“Which color is this?”

You glance over at the thing your mother is pointing at, and shake your head at it in disgust.

“Ew, no.” You say, tugging her away from the hideously colored, zesty orange scarf, “That is gonna look absolutely terrible on you—don’t buy it.”

“Relax.” Your mother rolls her eyes, still letting you guide her to the… safer section of the store, “It’s not like your Dad’s going to mind, sweetheart.”

“Yes, but,” You shrug defeatedly, “That’s because Dad can’t see how hideous the color is. I still can.”

“I thank you for the sentiment, honey.”

“Anytime.”

The two of you share a private grin, before your mother hums delicately and busies herself looking through racks and racks of shirts, feeling the material absently. You only watch, noting to yourself sadly how she frowns confusedly at certain shirts of the same design, but different colors. You sigh then, propelling yourself forward.

“Take this one.” You push the plum colored shirt back onto the rack, and press the maroon one into her hands, “It suits you better.”

“Oh, thank you sweetheart.” She says gratefully, smiling gently at you, “What on earth would I do without you?”

“I ask myself that every day.” You mutter to yourself as you watch her make for the changing rooms, “Indeed, what would you do?”

Sighing, you take out your phone, trying to preoccupy yourself with one of your apps so that you can pass the time away. No matter how much you play, though, you can’t get your mind off your mother’s predicament.

Why on earth would people actively look for their soulmates, if their vision turns grey the second they do? What on earth would possess them, for them to do that? It doesn’t…it just doesn’t make sense.

Your mother comes back, by then, clothes bundled up in the shopping bag. You take it from her and, sighing at the ugly orange scarf at the bottom of the pile, make your way to the cash counter with her so that you can pay.

“Good morning Ma’am!”

You trace the countertop idly as your mom exchanges pleasantries with some guy behind the computer. You don’t look up, not until your mom nudges at you to hand her wallet over. Fishing it out, you present it to her, before lazily trailing your eyes upward, locking on surprised cocoa brown ones, before everything turns grey.

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[Got] 7 Deadly Sins: Wrath.

Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools. (Ecclesiastes 7:9)

Originally posted by stanjimiin


Why must He be so unfair? Why did He make them so perfectly? I had never thought that I would come to feel anger for any of my Fathers creations but I had. At one point in time he had looked at me the way he looks down on them.That anger I had towards them, Humans, had become my downfall. My Father’s last words to me as I fell from heaven were,

“Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.”

Eyes breaming with tears, I fell from the heavens, to an earthy place, full of those who I despised, because of my sin, wrath.


It has been a year since my banishment and wandering this earth was painful until I met her. The light in my darkness. The embodiment of the perfection, which, I had despised, had become my alter.  I hadn’t thought that I would ever understand what my Father had seen in such fragile things, but she opened my eyes. She had been the only human being who tried to get close to me despite my insults, and cold exterior. That respect for her persistence quickly turned to a love of sorts. Now here we are, her body lain in my arms, as I slowly trace my fingers along her feminine curves bathed in sunlight.

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For the Love of Harry, Part Six

“It was lunch at a local cafe, Harry,” you say, shaking your head and ignoring his irrationality. “Kari and I decided to go have some lunch together today to get out of the office for a while. It was nothing.”

“How is it nothing when photos are circulating of you again?” he asks, irritated.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you say, sarcastically. “I guess I didn’t get the memo that I was no longer allowed to walk three blocks away from my work to have lunch with my best friend.”

“How will I ever make you understand?!” he growls, tugging at his hair in frustration.

“Why is it my fault that some person took my photo while I was at a local cafe?” you ask, looking at him confused. “I did nothing wrong, and I don’t recall doing anything that would have embarrassed you, so why are you so upset?”

“I don’t like photos of you being plastered all over social media!” he roars.

You look at him frustratingly. “So you are saying you want me to stay at home unless I’m at work, and while I’m at work I’m not allowed to leave, and I have to go straight to and from each.”

“No,” he groans. “That’s not what I’m saying, love.”

“Harry,” you say as you look directly at him and sigh. “You worry too much. I can’t be kept inside like a caged animal. You wouldn’t like that either. I know sometimes you’ve had to do that because of who you are. But, I’m nobody. I know people still associate me with you, even though we’ve kept our life together secret, for the most part. What circulates in social media and such, it’s all speculative. Your fans and the media, they have their theories, but that’s all they have right now.”

“I don’t like God-knows-who having access to you,” he insists. “It makes me nervous.”

You look at him questioningly, knowing there has to be more to this than he is saying.

“Why?” you look at him. “What do you know that I don’t?”

He stutters slightly. “Nothing. Sweetheart, please understand how unsettling it is for me to go onto my social media and find I’ve been tagged in thousands of copies of photos of you out somewhere, with no protection, no security to keep you safe.”

“Harry, nobody wants me except you,” you grin at him slightly. “They want you, not me. Is that what this is about?” He looks at you with furrowed brow. “You know how the paps and fans are with you, and you don’t want them to be that way with me?”

“Well,” he frowns, “Yes, I suppose, partly.”

“They aren’t that way with me,” you insist. “I swear. We walked the three blocks to the cafe, had lunch and a nice visit, and walked back, without one person stopping us, talking to us, asking us questions, and the only person who apparently took photos, we were oblivious to. They didn’t approach us. It was completely safe.”

“Until it’s not,” he says, whining. “You don’t use social media anymore so you don’t see the horrible comments people make about you. Babe, some of them are really terrible, and it makes me worry more for you.”

You inhale and exhale audibly. “Harry,” you walk to him and hold his hands. “I love that you worry about me. And I hate that you worry about me. I worry about you, too, like, all the time. You are in a much bigger spotlight than I am. And until we are made public, that spotlight on me shouldn’t grow. The only time I’ve ever had problems, I’ve told you about, and it’s usually when there has been some new kind of false rumor circulate, and the second the rumor is squashed, the cockroaches scatter again and nobody bothers me. And as far as the comments, I would have to care about their opinion for it to bother me. I’m sorry they bother you so much.”

He pulls you against him and kisses your lips softly. “I just worry about you. I never want anything to happen to you. In my perfect, ideal world, I would have you with me all the time…work, traveling, everything. You would quit your job so you could be wherever I am. And I know that isn’t realistic, at least not yet.”

“I love that you want me with you. But I think you’re right. It isn’t really realistic at this point, and it would definitely out us to the world,” you say, leaning your head against his chest.

“I know. I’m sorry,” he apologizes, tightening his hug around you.

You look at him, trying to assure him. “I promise you, I am always careful. I stopped taking the tube for you, using a cab or driver like you requested. I don’t go for runs anymore because you are worried for my safety. And where I used to go shopping in the little shops in town all the time, I rarely do anymore, because it makes you nervous.”

“I sound like a tyrant, don’t I?” he sulks, frowning while rubbing his hands up and down your back.

You nod teasingly, crinkling your nose at him. “Yes.” You smile as he chuckles. “I understand why you feel the way you do. But I need my freedom to go and do when I want to sometimes, too. You understand that, don’t you?” you ask calmly.

He hugs you tightly again, kissing your head. “I do. I just need you safe.”

“And I am safe,” you reply, squeezing his middle tightly.

*

You were excited for a girl’s night! It had been a long time since you and Kari had had an evening of girl time together, and Harry being out of town made it the perfect time for a sleepover. You were thankful that your best friend and your boyfriend liked each other. Kari had never been to the home you shared with Harry, so it would be fun.

At the sound of the security gate buzzer, you let the private car through. Harry had insisted you use one of his drivers, making Kari scream with excitement when you told her. As you see it stop at the end of the walkway, you open the door and quickly run out to greet her. Squealing like school girls, you share a hug, thank the driver, and return to the house to give Kari a tour.

“Never thought I’d experience this kind of life. This is amazing!” she exclaims, still looking around. “A girl could get used to this!”

“It’s a nice home, yeah,” you say, smiling. “I’d love Harry even if he didn’t have a nickel to his name, but it’s a nice perk.”

“Your nice perk is my wet dream, love,” she sighs. “But I’ll happily enjoy your nice perk anytime you’d like some company.”

Hearing a video call sound on your opened laptop, you run to it happily to talk to Harry. Having texted that he would be calling, you prepared ahead. In only a moment, you see Harry’s face light up your screen.

“There’s my beautiful love!” Harry smiled, blowing you a kiss. “How are you, baby?”

“I’m fine! How are you? Missing me yet?” you smile and giggle.

“I am, yes, and I’m fine, only missing you as well!” he replies. “Has Kari arrived yet?”

“I’m here!” Kari chimes in, jumping in front of the computer screen. “Just enjoying the facilities. What a home you have here, love!”

“Like it?” he smiles. “I’m glad you beauties are getting some proper girl time while I’m away.”

“How is your work?” you ask him. “Everything going okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” he says, nodding. “Should be home in a few days. Everything good there?”

“Everything’s fine here,” you smile. “Just missing you.”

He puts his hand over his heart and closes his eyes, grinning. “Missing you terribly, sweetheart. Now I’ll let you girls get back to your evening. I just wanted to call and see your face.”

“So sweet to me,” you swoon. “Going to be a night of wine, fingernail polish, and swapping sex stories.” You smile as his eyes get huge.

“You what now?” he asks, his dimples denting in deeply as he smiles and chuckles.

“Nothing!” you laugh. “Thank you for calling me.”

“Of course, love,” he says, blowing you a kiss. “I’ll call you again tomorrow. Enjoy your evening, babe. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you say as you blow a kiss in return.

“I love you, too!” Kari yells as you both laugh.

You disconnect the call, closing the laptop and work on dinner.

“Think you’ve found a right good one in him, lovey. He’s definitely a keeper,” she smiles at you. “Not just because he’s well-off and hotter than shit on a shingle. But you can tell he really loves you. And I’ve never seen you so in love.”

You smile. “I agree, but in all honesty, the only other man you have ever seen me with was Alex.”

“Uuunnhhh!!!” she groans loudly. “He who must not be named! Evil!”

You giggle and nod your head. “Can’t say I don’t agree with that, either.”

“Have you seen him since the day he hit you?” she questioned.

“No, and I hope I never do again,” you say bluntly. “Bastard.”

“Like to punch him myself,” Kari says, balling up her fist. “Was lucky enough to have you, then to do what he did. Not a lick o’ smart in that boy, I’d say.”

“Unfortunately, he is smart,” you say. “But at least he’s left me alone since that day. Besides, if he hadn’t done what he did, and things hadn’t happened as they did, maybe I wouldn’t be with Harry now, and that kind of makes me sad to think about. So I have no regrets.”

The two of you have a great evening, watching chick flicks, doing each others hair and makeup and nails, and talking about things you only talk about with your best girlfriend. When you wake up the next morning, you rub your slightly sore head and your blurry eyes, and hear snoring from the other side of the bed. You didn’t think you drank that much wine the night before, but your head was telling you differently.

You look over at Kari and giggle, one of her legs topping your own as the rest of her is stretched out across the bed, mouth open wide and a prominent noise escaping her face with each inhalation. You let her sleep as you get up and slip into a bikini and go out for a morning swim. The water feels amazing as you float and propel your body mindlessly. You love the silence that early in the morning. Besides an occasional bird singing, it was usually quiet for your morning swims.

After a bit longer in the pool, you decide you should make sure Kari is awake and ready when her driver arrives. You climb out of the pool, grabbing your towel and drying, then jumping as you hear a voice behind you.

“Hot babe!” Kari yells followed by a wolf whistle. “You are one sexy bitch!”

You look at her, shaking your head and smiling. “Scared the shit out of me, Kar!”

“Completely jealous of Harry, love,” she admits. “I’d kill to have your body. I’m more straight up and down short of my tits being nice. But you, damn. Curves in all the right places. Harry’s one lucky man!”

“Stop it!” you laugh. As you finish drying, you look at Kari and see her looking toward the security gate with a concerned look.

“I swear someone was just looking in through the gate!” she yelled.

You look more intensely then grab her hand and walk back toward the door into the house. “Come on.” You go inside, locking the door behind you and going to make sure the security system is set. You check the surveillance looking around the gate area but don’t see anyone. “Well, if there was someone, they aren’t there now.”

“That’s scary, love,” she says, the look of fear in her eyes. “Loads of people who would love to get in here and nick somethin’, I’m sure. Or hope to get to Harry.”

You shake your head. “His security system is incredible, and all I have to do is push that red button and apparently what will seem like an entire SWAT team will suddenly descend from the heavens or something. I feel safe here.”

The security gate buzzes loudly, causing you both to jump and scream, then look at each other and laugh nervously. You look into the screen and see the driver is there to pick up your friend.

“Shit, haven’t packed yet,” she says. “Tell him I’ll just be a moment, love?”

You nod as she runs around collecting all of her things as you let the driver in. Soon your friend has left and you are once again alone in the big house. You shower and dress, do a few things around the house, and search for something else to pass the time, when you hear the buzzer again. You don’t recognize the vehicle, pushing the button to speak into the microphone.

“May I help you?” you ask.

“Yes, miss,” the driver replies. “Floral delivery for this address.” You aren’t sure what to do, not knowing how to handle such situations. It was rare that someone would arrive at the house who wasn’t expected.

“Um…” you hesitate. “Do you have identification so I know what business you are from, please?”

“Yes,” the driver says, pulling out a name badge and holding it up to the monitor. “My name is Collins. Feel free to call the flower shop and verify if you would like. I understand.”

You start to but realize it seems legitimate. He wouldn’t tell you to call if it wasn’t, right? You push the button, allowing the car inside, and quickly pull a t-shirt from the laundry over your swimsuit, walking out to meet the car. The driver gets out of the delivery van, opening a door and closing again, walking toward you with a large, beautiful floral arrangement.

“It’s very beautiful!” the driver says to you.

“It sure is!” you say, awestruck from the flowers. You can’t wait to go inside and text Harry a big thank you, knowing he is the only one who ever sends you flowers. You pass the driver a tip, thank him, and watch as he pulls back out of the driveway, resetting the security as you close the door behind you. You set the flowers on the island and grab your phone, texting Harry.

The flowers are GORGEOUS!!! Thank you, sweetheart! I love you!

You set your phone down again and move the flowers to the center of the table and take a photo of them. You hear your phone ring, seeing it’s Harry, and answer it.

“Hi! They are beautiful, Harry! Thank you so much!” you praise.

“Love,” he starts but you interrupt.

“Wait, I’ll send you a photo of them,” you say.

“Sweetheart? Listen to me,” he says.

“Okay?” you giggle, still looking at your flowers.

“I didn’t send you any flowers,” he says. Your smile slowly disappears as you process it. “Hello?”

“Yeah,” you say. “I’m here. If you didn’t send them, who did?”

“Is there a card?” he asks. You can hear the seriousness in his voice. “Look.”

You look through the arrangement but see nothing. “No,” you answer. “I don’t see a card.”

You hear him clear his voice. “Okay,” he instructs. “Who delivered them? What shop?”

You think a moment then answer. “Over In The Garden Floral Shop. The delivery person said his name was Collins. The shop name was on the side of the car, Harry, and I asked to see his ID in the monitor before I opened the gate.”

“Alright,” he says. “Alright. I’m going to call them and see if I can find out who ordered and paid for them.”

“Maybe…,” you offer. “Maybe someone sent them to you. He just said it was for this address, not a specific person.”

“I’ll see what I can find out,” he answers. “Babe, I don’t want you letting anyone else through the gate. And if you need to go somewhere, tell me and I’ll have a bodyguard stay with you.”

“Harry…” you begin to protest.

“Just indulge me here, love,” he begs. “I’m 10 hours away by air from where you are and fighting my urge to jump on a plane. I’ll call you after I talk to the floral shop.”

“Okay,” you give in.

“I love you, babe,” Harry tells you, his voice tender and sweet.

“I love you, too.”

After talking to Harry a short time later, you found he was unable to find out who sent the flowers, that the purchase was made online and paid for using an untraceable method. You assured Harry that you were fine and the only plan you had for leaving was to go to work on Monday. You were unnerved a bit by the incident, but you felt safe, so you weren’t terribly concerned. But your thoughts changed slightly as a noise woke you from your sleep Sunday night.

You lay in the bed before sitting straight up out of your sleep. You tried to determine if you actually heard something or dreamed it, but when you heard it again, your heart began to race. You listen carefully, grabbing your phone from its charger and quietly but quickly making your way to the washroom and locking the door. You listen quietly and soon hear footsteps in the bedroom. Your shaking hands stumble on your phone as you begin to call the police, but hear a familiar voice.

“Baby?” you hear Harry say. The door handle rattles above your head as you try to get to your feet and open the door. “It’s me, sweetheart. Open the door.”

You open the door and quickly rap your arms around Harry’s shoulders. He feels you trembling and breathing rapidly in his ear.

“I’m sorry I frightened you, love,” Harry said into your ear, holding you tightly. “Couldn’t wait any longer to be home with you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you say, relieved but not letting him go. “I’m just happy you’re home!”

You hold onto him for a long moment until he finally finds your mouth, kissing you deeply. You breathe him in, the realization of how much you missed him setting in.

*

“Mmm,” you heard Harry moan lightly as he kissed you, not wanting to leave you to work for the day. He had insisted on dropping you at work ‘just for the extra bit of time with you’. “If I’m going to be late tonight, I’ll have a driver waiting for you at 5.” You nod as he kisses you again, holding your face to his.

You both jump as you hear someone tapping loudly at your car window. You see it’s Kari, making a face at you and Harry laughs. You open the door, kiss Harry again quickly, then step out onto the sidewalk.

“How are you this morning, Kari?” Harry asks her.

“Rather be sleeping, if I’m honest, but doing well,” she smiles. “How was your trip, love?”

“Fine, but happy to be back,” Harry says, looking at you.

Kari nods. “What’d you find out on those flowers? Have anything to do with the guy at the gate?”

Harry’s smile turns down quickly as he looks at you then back at Kari. “What guy at the gate?” You don’t answer quickly enough for him. “Babe, what guy at the gate?”

“I went out for a swim Saturday morning while Kari was sleeping, and when she came out, she thought she saw a man standing at the gate, looking in,” you say, shaking you head.

“Thought?” Kari asked, sounding offended but not. “I’ll have you know, I know what I saw. Bloke in black standing at the gate, peering through like a right creeper.”

Harry looked at you, irritated you hadn’t mentioned it.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you defend yourself. “I didn’t see him myself, and when I checked the surveillance there was nobody there. I honestly didn’t think about it again.”

You could see the pensive and unhappy look on Harry’s face as he reached for your hand.

“I’ll pick you up at 5,” he said, changing his mind. “If you want lunch out, call and I’ll come get you girls.”

“Harry, I’ll be fine…” you begin.

“Please, don’t,” he says. “Indulge me, remember?”

You nod, leaning in for one more kiss, then close the door and walk with Kari to the building, looking back and returning the wave Harry is sending you.

“Sorry, love,” Kari said, once you were through the front doors. “Didn’t realize mentioning it would turn him into a guard dog. Was just curious.”

“No worries,” you say, forcing a smile. “I honestly did forget about it, but not sure I would have mentioned to him anyway. As much as I love his need to protect me, I don’t want him to become obsessive with it. He’s a busy man. Doesn’t need to be worrying about me, too.”

“That’s his job as your boyfriend, babe,” she reminds you. “Let him obsess if he wants to! You’re a precious commodity to him. Don’t take that away from him.” You shake your head, irritated that your best friend is siding with your boyfriend over you. “Don’t be that way, lovey. Men need to be that way with their woman. Let him!”

You think about what Kari says and realize maybe it is what Harry needs, to know he can keep you safe. You’re just not yet used to having someone take care of you. You have been independent and on your own for a lot of years, and to let someone else have control of that…you would do your best to not complain and to let him do things his way. You were still kind of a stranger to this new way of living…more in the public eye, needing security, being linked to a celebrity. You trusted Harry to know what was best, you just hoped your independent spirit and personality would follow along.

At 5 o’clock you made your way down to the front of the building and saw Harry sitting across the road, a grin on his face and hand waving to you. You smiled and waved in return, kissing your friends cheek and saying goodbye, then quickly crossing the road to get inside the car. You closed your door and turned to Harry, seeing him leaning to you with his lips in an exaggerated pucker, waiting to be kissed. You giggle and kiss him sweetly.

“How was your day?” you ask him.

“Fine…better now,” he flirts. “Yours?”

“Typical day, really,” you return. “Missed you.” He leans in and kisses you again, then you blink as you both hear the sound of a camera clicking, flashing through the windscreen of the car, a pap taking photo after photo of the two of you.

“Shit,” Harry says, irritated, putting the car into drive and immediately taking off down the street. He looks at you and the shock on your face. “Guess we’ve been discovered this time, haven’t we?”

“Looks that way,” you say, trying to read how he feels about that. The look on his face seemed to be a bit timid and nervous until you were well on the road back to the house. You feel his hand grab yours and squeeze, looking at him and seeing a forced smile. “Get ready. Things are going to change now.”

The second you are in the house, Harry goes to his office and makes phone calls, warning his PR team and management about what happened. You left him to it, knowing he wasn’t happy but that the two of you really had nobody to blame but yourselves this time. After a bit Harry walked into the room as you sat on a barstool, looking online. You quickly turn off your screen and set it down, grinning at him. Harry kisses you lightly, holding your hand and sitting on the stool next to yours.

“Already online, aren’t they?” he asks, hesitantly. You just grin slightly at him but he knows. “Fuck, I’m sorry, love. I hate that your privacy is going to be virtually gone now. I know what’s going to happen and…”

“Hey,” you interrupt. “No more, alright? It happened, nobody’s fault besides the stupid pap that should have minded his own business and gotten a better job.” You smile at him and he tries to smile but he knows you have no real concept of the changes that will happen now. “We should be lucky that it didn’t happen sooner. We’ve been together quite some time now, you know.”

“Yeah,” he grins, holding your hands in his. “Still, we need to discuss how things will need to be different now. I’m afraid life as you knew it before is gone now.”

You take a deep breath and exhale. “Well, as apocalyptic as that sounds, I’m a strong woman, I think. Pretty sure I can handle it.” You smile as he returns the smile and kisses you lovingly.

*

Harry’s warnings about how life would change for you now were highly understated. Paps were in abundance and Harry’s fans took photos of you everywhere you were seen. You were pretty good at ignoring unless they were right in your face. Now that you had been outed to the public, the positive side was that Harry was okay now with the two of you being seen in public to an extent. ‘It’s out there now, might as well go with it a bit’, he stated to you one night. Although he wasn’t really able to take you to and from work now, as fans would wait for him to show up, you did occasionally go somewhere together…a little shop one of you had wanted to visit, or you tagged along with him on certain occasions of his work. A photo of Harry holding your hand as you walk down a sidewalk, or his hand at your waist and laughing with you as you walk into a building, that was gold for paps and fans. You were excited to finally be able to attend his concerts and appearances when possible, although Harry, still being incredibly overprotective, requested that you not be out among the people.

As the popularity of your relationship with Harry grew in the media realm, you found it more and more difficult to do simple things. As you went to a local market one day, only a few blocks from where you lived to get a couple of things needed for dinner, you walked out to cameras flashing and paps in your face asking you questions. It was only a few blocks from home so you hadn’t bothered with bringing a driver or security, but the paps were like vultures and followed you nearly the entire way, unable to cross at a certain point or endure legal action. Within 10 minutes, you were listening to Harry argue into your ear over the phone the importance of having security at all times.

“Are you listening to me, love? This is important!” he nearly yells.

“Yes, Harry!” you reply. “I always listen to you. It was a few blocks for a handful of items. I honestly didn’t think anyone would even notice. I’m sorry!”

“Sweetheart,” he insists. “Somebody will always notice! We’ve been over and over this! Please, just…use your head.”

You weren’t sure if it was the words or the tone of his voice that made it hurt your feelings a bit, but it shut you up.

“Are you still there?” he asks after you’ve said nothing.

“Yes,” you simply reply.

“I love you, babe. I’ll be home in a bit,” he says sweetly but sternly.

“Bye,” you reply, not realizing you hadn’t told him you loved him back. You stood in the kitchen for a long moment, just leaning back against the counter, listening to the stillness of the house with only appliances humming and your heart beating lightly in your ears. The quiet was soothing to you, meditative even.

You put the food away for the time being and decide to take a swim. It always relaxes you and helps clear your mind. You like the rhythmic sounds of the water in and out of your ears, how your body glides through the ripples and small waves your movements make. Your mind becomes transfixed on shutting out the world for a while, until your eyes catch a glimpse of something and you stop, seeing a person standing in front of you. You nearly swallow water as you are caught off guard, wiping the pool water from your eyes, then seeing Harry standing in front of you and kneeling down at the edge of the pool.

“Hello, love,” he says with a smile. “Having a nice swim?”

You see the loving look on his face and smile gently, nodding at him. “Yeah.” Harry holds his hand to you to help you climb up out of the pool. You stand next to him, looking at him, still a bit irritated, but knowing he probably didn’t mean it the way it sounded. “I didn’t realize you would be home this early. I’ve not started dinner.”

“It’s fine,” he smiles. “Managed to get away a bit early. I’ll help with dinner.”

You nod and start to turn and walk away, but he pulls you into his arms and holds you.

“Harry, you’re going to get all wet,” you admonish.

“I don’t care,” he says. “Waited all day to hold you. If it gets me a little wet, then so be it.” You hear him chuckle a bit. “Besides, you kind of like me wet, don’t you?” You look at his face and see a smirk then giggle.

“Yeah, I kind of do,” you agree. Just as Harry lets go of you, you quickly push him into the pool. He erupts from the surface with a look of surprise on his face. “You’re right. Kind of like you wet.”

“You’re going to pay for that one,” he laughs.

“Sorry,” you say, smirking. “Must have not have been using my head again.”

You grab your towel and start drying a bit as he pulls himself out of the water and walks to you with an apologetic look on his face.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he says, placing a gentle kiss on your lips. “I didn’t mean for it to sound so…mean. I know you use your head, it’s just…”

“It’s okay,” you say, shaking your head, then kissing his cheek. “Not a big deal. I’m over it.” You start to turn again but he doesn’t let you walk away, putting his arm around your waist. “Really. It’s alright…”

You can’t finish your words before Harry’s mouth is on yours, kissing you passionately, holding you closely. You melt into him quickly, tasting the lips and tongue you have come to love kissing so much. You feel Harry’s hands pulling your hips against him and feel him getting hard against your stomach. A slight lick to your lips and nibble to your jaw has you moaning lightly as Harry speaks softly into your ear.

“Come with me.”

He takes your hand, leading you into the house, walking to the sofa and stripping off his wet clothes. As he lowers his pants to the floor, he sits, pushing his wet hair out of his face. He pulls you in front of him, pulling your bikini bottoms down without hesitation. Without warning he kisses your little clit, causing you to catch your breath, sucking it into his mouth swiftly. He moans at the taste of you, as if you were his favorite dessert he hadn’t had in ages. You weren’t sure what had suddenly gotten into him, but you were loving it. He massages your hips, pulling you down onto his lap and hastily removing your bikini top. He had a look of desperation on his face which you found almost exciting. Feeling him pull and nip at each breast had your pussy tingling. He moaned as he devoured your nipples, kissing and licking around them then inhaling them into his mouth, sucking them as if he was nursing.

You feel Harry’s hand between your legs, stroking your lips. “So wet already, baby. Beautiful.” You lean down and kiss him with a powerful lust. You and Harry had an amazing sex life, so how was it that he continued to turn you on so madly and so quickly? You thought it is because he makes you feel desired, which you don’t remember ever feeling with a man before. You feel his fingers dip inside of you and you groan into his mouth. He pulls away slightly and looks to the side of the sofa, moving the two of you to the corner and lowering himself down, resting his head in the crevice.

“Up here now, baby,” he says as he taps his hands on the arm and top of the sofa on either side of his head. Dear God…he wanted you to ride his face. You moved one shin to the arm of the sofa and the other to the sofa top, just next to where his head was resting, and sat yourself in front of his face. You whimpered loudly, grabbing on to the back of the sofa, as you immediately felt Harry’s mouth sucking your lips, pulling them lightly into his mouth, then dipping his tongue as deeply inside of you as it would reach. He fucked the muscle in and out of you mercilessly, before teasing your asshole with the tip of it.

“Oh my god!” you whine loudly. You felt him pulling your pussy into his face, his hands on your ass, as his mouth explored you. Little flicks of his tongue over and over against your clit made you nearly sob. You looked down at him and saw his eyes focus on you, then closing again to concentrate on pleasuring you. You felt the thick, lazy swipe of his tongue along the length of your slit, sucking in your clit as he reached it and popping it out again, then beginning the ritual again. You bounce your ass gently toward his face, pulling his hair with one hand while holding your balance with the other. You feel his loud moan vibrate against you as you grind lightly against his face, hearing the smacking of his mouth on you as he mutters to himself.

“How do you….” he starts, consuming you again, “…fuckin’ taste so fuckin’ good?”

You weren’t sure how much longer you could hold that position, seeing stars as you rock your body lightly into his face, constantly catching yourself holding your breath for nearly too long between gasps. You knew your legs would hold out, but you were nearly feeling faint from the level of enjoyment he was giving you.

“Har-ry…” you manage between a deep exhale and quick inhale. He heard your throat stutter, knowing you were close.

“Come sit on me, love,” he ordered. “Get on me.” He helped you move your legs down as you lean down and kiss his damp face, tasting your juices on him, but he is hungry for you. He holds his hard cock, pumping it slightly. You see the pre-cum seep out of his little slit and quickly move your body to lick your tongue across it. You hear Harry groan gutturally, then pull your face back to his, kissing you forcefully. “Get on me,” he repeats.

You straddle his cock as he holds it between your legs, rubbing it back and forth along your hot wetness. As you sit slowly down on him, allowing him to feel every inch as you sink onto him, you hear him breathe in deeply, his eyes closed tightly, jaw clinched. You pepper his face with your soft lips until he is pulling you into another deep, forceful kiss. You pull away and look at him, his gaze burning a hole through you.

“I love you,” he says, through ragged breaths.

“I love you,” you say back to him. You lace your hands into his hair and kiss his temple, whispering into his ear. “I love you so much.”

You begin to grind against him, feeling he is not going to take long, his stiff cock rubbing inside you just right, causing your muscles to contract slightly. His hands work up and down your back and hips, kneading and twisting into your skin as his breathing becomes almost unbearable to listen to. His hands cling firmly onto your ass and begin roughly lifting and pulling you down onto him as deeply as you will go, his hips thrusting upward to meet you. Your mouth rests against his cheek as your own breathing becomes staggered into prolonged inhales and quick exhales before sucking in again. Harry slams up into you, your bodies making loud, wet slapping noises as they collide. You feel yourself begin to clamp onto his dick as you moan and quake. Harry thrusts roughly as all the air he had stored in his lungs escapes loudly, his pumping dick spurting streams of cum deeply inside of you as he moans loudly against you with the release. His hands and arms still cling to you tightly as his body begins to relax. You feel his lips on your neck, kissing your collarbone then moving steadily up to find your jaw. He pulls your lips to his and kisses you intensely, tasting you, leaving little kisses around your face, then another sweet one on your lips. He looks at you and smiles, dimples popping again as he hugs you against his chest.

*

As soon as you finish work, you rejoice that it is the weekend. Harry had already said that he would be working late in the studio that night, so a couple of drinks with the best friend was in order. After realizing he wasn’t going to talk you out of going to a bar, and knowing you needed time with your friend and time away from home and work, he deserted his request for you to invite Kari to the house, if you agreed to having a driver and bodyguard nearby.

I promise you won’t even know he’s there unless he needs to be’, he said, so you sighed and agreed.

As the two of you walked outside of your office building, you and Kari got into the private car Harry had sent, and drove to a nearby pub that was the perfect ‘hiding place’ away from paparazzi. There were a few around the entrance of the building all the time, as some A-listers dropped in fairly regularly, but they didn’t bother you much after seeing the guard with you. You had to admit, you were thankful for Harry’s insistence. Getting around anymore had become barely worth the trouble. And your guard was nice, and enormous, so you weren’t too concerned about being harassed.

“So, darlin’,” Kari says as the two of you find a private table in the back, far away from the large front windows of the small pub. “What’s happenin’ with you? Seems we never have as much time together anymore outside of work, with my new girl and your rocker boy toy.”

“Yes! How is the new girlfriend? And when do I meet her?” you ask, excitedly.

“She’s not in London at the moment,” Kari smiles, “but she’ll be back next week and she’s stoppin’ by the office one day to take me to lunch, so I’ll introduce you then. Just don’t be too jealous that someone else is gettin’ what you didn’t want.” She looks at you with a turned up nose. “Oh, who am I kiddin’? I’d give it to you anytime you wanted it anyway, whether I was with someone or not. You’re my girl!”

You hug her and thank the bar maid for your drinks, then take a drink. Kari will always be good for your ego, and she’s the best friend you could ever ask for.

“You didn’t answer m’ question,” she reminds.

“Oh, what’s happening with me?” you repeat back to her from earlier, and she nods. “Honestly, not much. Harry’s been in the studio a lot lately, so haven’t really seen him as much. And he stays nervous about my safety, which I understand but I don’t,…doesn’t matter. But that explains why I have Hoke and Magic Mike now,” you say, pointing toward the security guard, referencing him and your driver.

“Yes, he’s huge, isn’t he?” Kari observes, looking the guard up and down from where he is standing. “Nice ass for a guy.” She looks twice. “Shit, nice ass for a girl!”

You giggle and the two of you enjoy your time, knocking back drink after drink as you catch up. After polishing off the last of the beer sitting on the table, you start to stand before abruptly losing your balance and landing back in the seat of your chair. Your guard catches your arm as you and Kari both laugh. You were going to be feeling the alcohol by morning in a much less fun way than you were at the moment. As you try standing again, the guard once again grabs your arm and you look at him strangely.

“I’m alright, Beefcake,” you say with a smile. “Stand down. I’ll make it.”

The guard grins at you, shaking his head, staying close by just in case. You walk haphazardly to the car as the driver opens the door and you and Kari fall inside, laughing. In that moment, in the floor of the car with your best friend laughing on top of you, you couldn’t deny you were unequivocally drunk. The two of you laugh uncontrollably, gasping for air, as Magic Mike helps you both up into the seat of the car.

You love your best friend. You laugh and talk together as the car drops Kari off at her apartment, then drives the distance to return you back home. As you sit in the car, you think of how much fun you have with her and giggle, leaning your head back and closing your eyes.

“Love?” Harry leans into the car, shaking you after the car stops in the drive awhile later. Harry looks at the driver when you don’t respond, sound asleep lying in the seat of the car.

The guard smiles. “They had a lot to drink, but they had a good time.”

Harry smiles, leaning in again and caressing your face. “Babe?”

You don’t so much as twitch before Harry pulls you toward him and gathers you up into his arms, thanking the driver and guard, and carrying you into the house. He looks into the unconscious bliss on your face, smiles, and kisses your forehead. Walking up the stairs with you in his arms, he lays you on the foot of the bed, looking at you again and smiling. As he pulls back the covers on your side, he sees you moving around.

“So you are alive?” he giggles. “Glad to see that.”

You look around, trying to figure out where the voice is coming from then your eyes rest on Harry’s face.

“You’re so cute,” you say, slurring your words slightly, your eyes only slits between your lashes. “I thought you were working late.”

“It is late, baby,” he says, walking back around to where you lay. “You were just later than I was.”

“Mmm,” you say as your eyes begin to close again.

“Let’s get you undressed so you can sleep comfortably, love,” he says, grabbing each of your hands and pulling you up so that you are sitting on the edge of the bed. “Up with your arms now.” Confusion fills your face as you look at him. “Lift your arms up, sweetheart,” Harry laughs. Harry has always found you lovely, but he has a soft, special place for you when you’re drunk. He loves taking care of you.

You feel him lift your arms above your head, pulling the dress you are wearing up and off of your body, as you quickly slide to the floor between his feet. You hear him laughing as you look up at him surprised. He bends down in front of you, still laughing, and kisses you sweetly.

“My angel,” he says endearingly. “I surely do love you, even drunk off your ass.”

You look at him. “Who’s drunk?”

He laughs again, then puts his arms under your pits, lifting you back up onto the bed. “Babe, you are no doubt going to feel this in the morning, but you are adorable right now.”

“I’m always fuckin’ adorable,” you say, blinking slowly as he chuckles at you again.

“You are, yes,” he unhooks and removes your bra and turns you to lay on your pillow, covering you with the sheet and blanket. You feel one of his hands rest on your hip while the other pushes hair from your face and caresses you, kissing soft, sweet kisses to your lips. “Sleep well, kitten.”

“Mmm,” you manage before your eyes fall shut.

*

Someone must have bashed your head in with a crowbar. Possibly even ran over your head with a car. Nothing else could possibly be causing this horrible, monstrous pain that was gnashing away at your brain. The thundering that had taken over your hearing was like being at the loudest metal concert, your seat being directly in front of one of the house-sized speakers. You rubbed your head, then your senses switched, as you smelled something coming from the kitchen. Your thoughts couldn’t focus enough to know what it was, but the growling of your stomach from no food since yesterday’s lunch overpowered your desire to stay in bed for the rest of your life.

You looked to your side and saw Harry was already awake somewhere, and slowly sat up, waiting for the room to stop spinning. You were fortunate that drinking didn’t often make you vomit, but sometimes you wished it did, because surely you would feel better then.

You walk into the bathroom, not well but you manage, and relieve your bladder, feeling about 10 pounds lighter after. You slowly but eventually make your way through the doorway of the bedroom and look down from the top of the stairs. As you clutch the railing in your hand, you are amazed your feet find each step without problem. About halfway down you can see into the kitchen. Harry is standing at the island, his hair in utter disarray, tattoos displayed beautifully in only his unders, and singing lightly to music playing. He begins to cut into the fresh fruit again but looks toward the steps seeing you appear. He smiles and quickly walks to the steps, taking your hand until you reach the floor.

“Good morning, my love,” he says, as you clutch your head.

“Good morning,” you say quietly.

“Head hurt?” he purposely asks too loudly as you retreat like a scared animal away from him, giving him a ‘go to hell’ look that makes him laugh. You feel his arms wrap around you from behind, a sweet kiss landing on your cheek as he holds you closely. “That was mean, I’m sorry.”

“Payback’s a bitch, handsome,” you say, leaning back against him, enjoying the feel of him holding you. For a long moment he holds you, freckling light pecks from his lips on your skin.

“I made us something to eat,” he finally says, his arm around your waist, leading you to sit at the island. “Your stomach okay after last night?”

“Yeah, I’m starving actually,” you say, rubbing your face with your hands. “Kari and I never did eat last night so I’ve had no food since lunch yesterday.”

“Well, that would explain why the liquor hit you harder, I suppose,” he grins, grabbing a small cup and passing it to you. “Here, babe, drink this.”

Without thinking, assuming it was a bit of fruit juice maybe, you swallowed the cold liquid in like a shot and gulped, sputtering and choking in its wake. “What the hell?” you gagged as he smirked at you.

“Dill pickle juice,” he said. “Good for a hangover.” He hands you another drink and you look at it skeptically, making him chuckle. “Just juice, babe. Here’s some pain killers for your head.” He hands them to you and you take them, welcoming some relief from your pain.

Later after you both eat, Harry tells you to get your shower while he cleans up the mess. When you come back downstairs, feeling some better, you hear him shouting from his office. You can tell he’s speaking with someone on his phone. You stop on the bottom step and can’t help but hear what he’s saying.

“I don’t care! It’s nobody’s business!” you hear him yell into the phone. “If she wants to go to a pub and get drunk with her best friend, it’s her right to do it! I’m not going to tell her she can’t!” Realizing he is upset about something because of your night out with Kari makes you sad. “Clean it up! That’s your job, isn’t it?” you hear him say. You feel terrible that once again you feel like you’re letting him down, doing things that reflect badly on him. “Nothing we can do about that, now is there! We’ll deal with it like we deal with anything else, and in time, it will be forgotten.”

You hear him say something more softly that you can’t hear, then close your eyes, frustrated at yourself. You’ve never been the type of person to put on airs. You are who you are, no apologies, but things are different now. You have someone else to think of. What you do is a reflection on him.

You see him walk out of his office and look at you, standing on the bottom step with a sad look covering your face. He grins slightly and walks to you. The step off the ground makes you almost eye-to-eye with him.

“What did I do now?” you say sorrowfully.

“Nothing,” he says, grinning at you and pulling you against him. “You’ve done nothing wrong. Just nosey people making others lives more difficult. Nothing for you to worry about.”

“I’m sorry,” you say, frowning. “I feel like I can’t do anything without it getting you in trouble with someone.”

He sees the honest sadness in your eyes.

“You haven’t gotten me into trouble with anyone, sweetheart. I promise,” he says, smiling then kissing your lips. “It’s just a little hiccup, happens too often in my world, but I’m used to it, so I don’t want you to worry or feel bad about it, okay?” You look at him unwaveringly. “I mean it. I don’t want you sad about this. It’s nothing.”

He holds you a moment longer then insists the two of you have a swim to try and relax. It helps, but you can’t seem to shake this time how it affected you, putting lots of thoughts into your mind you hadn’t considered before. But, not wanting Harry to worry that you are so upset about it, you seem to cover well enough, you think.

The following day Harry asked you if you would like to run some errands with him, but not really being in the mood, you decided to stay home. Reluctantly he left, but within half an hour, he returned, looking concerned and timid.

“Hey,” you say as he walks in. “Did you forget something?”

“No,” he simply says, setting his keys down and walking to the window, looking out over the front of the property.

“Something wrong?” you ask, apprehensively.

“I don’t know yet,” he answers honestly, looking back at you. “I got a phone call not long after I left, from the same floral shop as before, saying they had a large delivery and wanted to make sure someone was here to receive it. I had given them my number in case they found out anything from last time.”

“Maybe it’s nothing, Harry,” you say. “Maybe just from someone you work with or do business with.”

“Maybe,” he says, sighing. “But I want to be here for the delivery.”

After a few more minutes, you see him walk to the security system on the wall, opening the gate, then promptly walking out to meet the delivery van. You watch from the house as he talks to the man, asking him questions, then walking to opened doors and looking inside for several minutes. You couldn’t hear what they were saying, but you could see from the look on Harry’s face, and how he kept running his fingers through his hair, that he wasn’t happy. In another moment you saw him shake the man’s hand, then turn to walk inside the house. You notice the little flower shop van driving back out of the driveway as Harry walks in the door and look at Harry questionably. He closes the door behind him and walks to where you are.

“So?” you ask.

“No cards, no names, privately ordered and paid for,” he states, his jaw tightening.

“So again, no idea who they were from or who they are for,” you reply with him nodding. “Why would someone send an arrangement of flowers and not mention who it’s for and who it’s from? That makes no sense.”

“Oh, it wasn’t just an arrangement, love,” he answers boldly. “There were over a dozen. All with no information. I asked the delivery man to take them all to the children’s hospital for the patients.”

You exhale sharply, completely confused as to why it was happening.

“I need to go make a phone call, okay?” he says, kissing you gently then walking back into his office and closing the door.

You sit on the sofa, thinking about the situation, but can’t wrap your head around it. You assume it may be an obsessive fan, afraid to leave their information, and leave it at that.

*

The following week was a long one. Harry asked his legal team to look into the situation to see if they could find out anything he couldn’t, plus he still had work keeping him busy, so you weren’t getting much time with him, but you understood. You were proud of him and his work so you would never complain about him spending a lot of time at it.

As you finished your work day, you walked to Kari’s desk but didn’t see her anywhere. You looked at the cubicle next to hers and talked to the person sitting there.

“Excuse me?” you say, as she looks at you. “Rachel, is it? Do you now if Kari is still here?”

She smiles at you. “I’m sorry, Kari went home early. Something about her girlfriend coming back today, I think.”

You nod and grin. “Completely forgot about that. Thanks anyway. Have a good evening!”

You take the lift down and walk through the front doors. You feel a chill in the air and realize that time of year is coming again soon. You walk to a car parked at the curb with a driver smiling at you.

“Hello,” you greet the man, seeing it is a different car and driver. “Are you here for me?”

“Yes, miss,” he says, opening the door. “I was asked to pick you up tonight. Your regular car and driver were unavailable.”

“Oh,” you smile, “Okay, thank you.”

He opens the door for you as you get inside. You breathe loudly through your mouth, blubbering your lips, tired and ready to relax. You hoped Harry wouldn’t work too late. You would love to sit and snuggle with him until you sleep.

*

As he turns his keys in the lock, Harry walks into the house. It’s quiet so Harry doesn’t call for you, assuming you have already gone to bed. Setting his keys on the table next to the door, he walks into the kitchen for a bottle of water. He looks in the fridge to see if anything sounds good to eat before going to sleep, then decides he is too tired and closes the door. As he begins to walk up the stairs, his eyes happen to glance to the spot where you always set your briefcase for work. He notices it isn’t there and looks around, but doesn’t see it. Maybe you had some work to do before bed, he thought.

Harry walked to the bedroom door, opening it quietly in case you are sleeping, then closing it just as quietly behind him. He glances to the bed as his grin quickly became a frown. It was still untouched from when you made it this morning.

“Love?” he called out to you then quietly stopped to listen. “Sweetheart, where are you?” He walked to the bathroom door and looked into the dark room, flipping on the light and seeing no sign of you having been there since morning. He quickly opened the bedroom door again and ran through, shouting your name as he looked around the large house. “Baby, answer me! Where are you?”

His heart began to race, knowing you would be home by now, or would have texted him to let him know differently. His mind raced nervously as he thought what he should do. He grabbed his phone and tried calling your number with no answer.

“Baby, I just got home and you’re not here. I’m worried. Please call me as soon as you get this and I’ll come get you. I love you!” Harry disconnected from your voicemail and looked at his phone, nerves shaking him to the core. He tried another number.

“Yes, is this Henry?” Harry asked the driver he had hired to get you. “Hi, it’s Harry. What time did you pick her up tonight? I can’t….what?” Harry swallows hard. “No, I didn’t have someone call you, cancelling. Someone called you and said I cancelled her ride?” Harry listened to the man and closed his eyes in disbelief. “Thank you.” He disconnected the call, his hands shaking as he listened to the quiet of the house. He looked at his phone again, trying your number but hearing it go to voicemail again. He disconnected the call, making a different one. With a wavering voice, Harry spoke into his phone with a tightened throat.

“I need you to come to the house. Something’s happened.”

********************

Chapter six in the books! I hope you all like it. Not sure how many chapters will be in this story. It kind of plays out as I write it, so when it sounds like a good place to end it, I will, unless you seem to become bored with it before then. I have issues with stories becoming too unrealistic. I like them to be as believable as possible, including the conflict. But I also know, as a writer, that this can be boring to the reader. So I will continue doing my best to keep you interested!

My continued writing completely depends on all of you! As long as it seems you are enjoying my stories, via your likes, reblogs, and comments, I will keep writing and posting them for you. So please, if you like them, let me know and feel free to share them and my Masterlist!

Thank you to all of you who have said nice things and continue to encourage my efforts. You are loved!

xo

Shelli

Sextape

// In which Y/N and Justin make a sex tape //

*Warning Mature Content*

————————————

Pots and pans clattered in the kitchen as I tried my hardest to stay focused on my work. I was laying in bed sketching for my new clothing line while Justin agreed to make dinner. Trusting Justin to be able to handle himself, I continued sorting through the inspiration worthy pictures I took while traveling on tour with Justin. In every major city, I’d try to sneak away before the concerts to explore the town hoping to inspire my fashion line. Justin often tried to come with me so my camera was full of pictures of Justin and I discovering urban streets and posing in front of interesting things we found.

I smiled once I came across the photo took of Justin at a indoor skate park in Chicago. With his hood up, back facing the camera, and skateboard in hand, Justin posed in front of the ramps and graffiti covered wall. The contrast between Justin’s black hoodie to the pop of color behind him was remarkable. Instantly envisioning a dramatically colorful dress at the sight of the picture, I went to work on sketching out what I was envisioning.

I wanted to somehow capture the stillness of the wall and the movement of Justin, into one dress. I wanted something flowy and black while the interior would be colorful. Maybe the sleeve of the dress could have pops of color too along wi-

“Hey, I burned the shit out of the spaghetti I was making so, I’m ordering in,” Justin called as he walked towards me. I looked up from my stretch to see Justin propped against the doorframe. In only a pair of low riding joggers, my boyfriend stood before me. The gentle waves from the pool reflected through the window and shined upon Justin, making light glimmer across his bare chest. The looked… he looked so damn good.

“Y/N?” he waved his hand at me to catch me attention.

“What?”

“I was asking if you wanted pizza, chinese, or indian food. I don’t really feel like going out to grab something,” he repeated his question but I was distractedly looking him up and down. When I met Justin’s eyes again he smirked, knowing that I couldn’t help but get hot by the sight of him. “So what do you want?” He asked, suggestiveness hinting in his voice.

“You look so good baby. I just want you to stay right there,” I murmured before grabbing the camera and getting off the bed. With a straight face, Justin stood there, hands in his pocket and watched me take pictures of him. The way that I saw him drink in my body made the experience of him staying still for me even hotter.

“You’re always taking pictures of other things when you’re the inspiration for everything I do,” Justin spoke softly, taking the camera and aiming it at me. The sound of the camera shutter going off was the only thing heard as I slid down to my knees and pulled down Justin’s pants with hesitation. The fact that Justin was taking pictures of the moment made it all so sensual.

“This is so hot, baby. Please put me in your mouth,” Justin put the strap over his neck and supported the camera in one hand, while fisting a hand into my dense curls. I hummed in comfort before licking at the swollen head of Justin’s raging dick. I looked up at the camera as I jerked Justin’s hardening cock off.

“Don’t play with me, baby girl,” Justin pushed back the curls that fell in front of my face and grabbed a pony tail worth of my hair as I took him down my throat. I almost forgot that the camera was there until I heard the shutter go off again. I looked up and smiled at the lens that was in my face as I sucked on his dick, hard enough to make my cheeks hollow inward.

“Baby, what’s the name of that make up thing that you makes glow?” Justin stuttered out randomly.

“A highlighter?” I guessed after pulled off his cock and began to rub his balls between the palm of my hand.

“Yeah,” He sighed out will pressing harder into my hands. “You do such a good job of doing that,” he moved his hand from my hair to caress my shimmering cheekbones. I couldn’t help but laugh at his genuine compliment before downing him again and bopping my head down the length of his cock. I moved my hands from his waist and lightly dragged my finger nails up and down his tensed thighs. I sucked on his low hanging balls while jacking him off until he was grunting out my name between moans.

“S- stop,” He called and pulled me off of him. “I want to get in you.” I nodded before getting up from my knees and kissing him.

“How do I turn this to video,” Justin asked, wanting more than just pictures for memory of our actions. I changed the setting to that we could make a movie of this night.

“Strip for me,” Justin commanded against my lips once I gave him the Nikon back. I didn’t move until he was sat on the edge of the bed with the camera still in his hands. He recorded me as I slowly pulled my slip dress over my head to reveal me in only a luxurious lingerie set. I hated that Justin was only looking at me through the lens, not enjoying the view actually present in front of him. I bit my plump bottom lip as I unhooked my bra, freeing my breasts from their confines.

“Fuck, turn around and take the thong off,” Justin groaned. I nodded at his instructions and face the wall. Bending over to better emphasize my curves, I dragged the black sheer down my legs slowly and stepped out of them. I took two step forward and straggled Justin’s lap, waiting for him to make the next move.In a second, I was trapped under his large form.

I visibly gulped as I watched Justin ghost his fingers along my body. I laid there aching, waiting for him to make me come alive again. I whimpered at the feeling of his blunt nails drag their way up and down along my tensed thighs. He hummed in appreciation once he grabbed a breast in his hand and squeezed my hard nub.

“Please, daddy,” I whimpered softly.

“You just look so beautiful like this,” He murmured while capturing the moment with the camera. “Maybe, I just have you lay like this the whole night so i can admire this view. I’ve barely touched you yet, already you’re so desperate,” he slipped a finger between my legs just to see how aroused i was. I let out a moan at the sight of him suck on his finger tip which was coated in my arousal. Cleaning me from his finger he put two of them in my mouth before properly pleasing me. A breath air was punched out of me as he pushed his two thick fingers into me.

“Does that feel good, princess?” Justin asked moving in and our of my heat slowly. I nodded my head quickly and clenched my muscles on his finger, not wanting them to leave me. I blush rose to my face as I watched him focus the camera on my dripping center. I didn’t have time to feel embarrassed as a moment later, he curled his fingers upward to reach one of the places that gave me ultimate pleasure.

“Justin,” I moaned out as I tried to rock again his fingers, I wanted more.

“You ready for me?” Justin asked, his bottom lip becoming pink and raw from the way he was fight back him own arousal. I nodded again, wanting nothing more than for Justin to be inside of me, connecting us in ways that we could only experience with each other. Justin pulled his fingers out and let me lick them all while he watched. Justin gave me a sloppy kiss before saying, “Work for it then.”

I watched as he pressed his back against the soft mattress and gave his raging hard on a few tugs, waiting on me to make my play. I said nothing as I straddled him again. I looked at the camera for a long moment before turning around and taking his cock into me all in one hard push. Justin let out a huff of air behind, surprised by my change in position and my sudden movement. Getting used to the feeling of him in me, I grinded my hips in little circles.

Ready to make love, I slowly lifted myself off of him because impaling myself on his dick, faster than the first time. I worked up a good rhythm that made us moan every time i took him in me and he couldn’t resisting grabbing onto my ass that was pretended so close to his face. I let out a whine at the first sharp pain I felt against my ass. Justin rubbed at the same place before slapping the other cheek. I screamed out and rocked even harder against him at his show of dominance.

“Fuck, Y/N. Turn around, I need to see you,” I complied quickly and spun on his dick so that I was facing him. Justin’s eyes were unbelievably dark as he watched the place that we connected. With one grip on my rolling hip and the other on the camera, he drank in my actions.

I screamed his name when he removed my hand on my waist to grab a fistful of my hair. He used the grip on my dense curls to pull me into a messy, rushed kiss. Not bothering to hold the camera any longer, Justin pulled away from the kiss to set the Nikon on the night stand and angle it towards us.

“Yeah just like that,” Justin took a strong hold on my waist and propped me up at an angle that allowed him to fuck up into me quickly. He held me still at first before pulling me down on his cock at the same time that he thrusted into me.

“Fuck, Daddy! Yes, yes, yes,” I chanted as he pounded into me and a quickening pace.

“You about to cum?” Justin asked breathlessly. I screamed yes and yet again, I was trapped under him. This time, he used one hand to prop himself up and the other to rub against my aching clit all while he pounded into me. I reach my hand up to pull his lips against mine again as I whined out, knowing what was to come.

“Cum, baby girl,” Justin moaned against my neck as his thrusts became erratic. At the sharpness of Justin biting into my neck, I shuddered and clenched around on his dick as waves of pleasure upon pleasure drowned me. I shook euphorically as Justin twitched and shot his warm cum inside me.  Justin was held frozen through his orgasm before he body gave into exhaustion.

“I’m hungry now,” I yawned a moment later as I watched Justin turn off the camera.

“Pizza, chinese, or indian food?” Justin repeated his original question for the third time.

“I want spinach and sausage on my pizza,” I answered his question.

“Bet,” he hummed before reaching for the phone.

—————————

“Wait, so where are those videos Y/N took of us freestyling in Houston?” Fredo asked from the couch across me over the sounds of Za and Khalil playing NBA 2k. Fredo and I were supposed to be working on the graphic designs of the new merchandise campaign but once the squad heard we were together, they stopped by the house as well.

“On here,” I handed him my computer where the pictures from the tour were held. “Just scroll to the right,” I told him once I pulled open my video album on the photos app.

“Thanks, bro,” Fredo nodded before going through the album.

“Bieber, when is Y/N going to get here? I only came over here because I thought she was home,” Kendall looked up from the cat videos Hailey had been showing her for the past 5 minutes.

“I don’t know. She told me she had errands to- Speak of the devil,” I pulled my ringing phone out from my back pocket to see Y/N’s contact picture light up my phone. “Hey, baby,” I spoke into the speaker once I answered the phone.

“Hey, I just wanted-” the rest of her speech was drowned out by Khalil’s chants.

“Fuck out of here boy!” he screamed at Za.

“That’s alright! My boy Steph gone come through with this three pointer… Swoosh, Nigga,” Za bragged as he got three more point on his score. Shaking my head at their rivalry, I went into the kitchen where, I could actually here Y/N.

“What did you say?” I asked once I was away from the squad’s loudness.

“I was asking what flavor of ice cream you want me to pick up from the store?” She repeated.

“I’m feeling double chocolate today,” I said thoughtfully. My choice of ice cream eventually led to crude jokes going back and forth from Y/N and I based upon my recent racial preference in the woman I dated. We made pitiful jokes back and forth until the boys started shouting again in the other room.

“Okay. Are the boys over right now?” Y/N asked.

“Kendall and Hailey too,” I informed my girlfriend while rapping a bag of chips to snack off of.

“Well, they better be gone by the time I get home,” I could hear a sudden attitude in her voice.

“Why? Where just chilling,” I whined. I’d kick them out if she really wanted them gone but I didn’t see the point of doing that.

“I need them gone because I want to fuck you so bad right now,” She murmured in the phone, surprising me. You could hear desperation dripping from her voice and it definitely alert my dick. Now I saw the point in kicking them out.

“I’m kicking them out now,” I spoke my last thought.

“Thank you, daddy,” She said graciously before hanging up.

“Fuck, you guys need to go! Y/N tryna fuck,” I called as I entered the living room. Upon my arrival, I noticed all of my friends gathered around Fredo and staring at my computer with their jaws on the ground.

“Fuck, daddy,” I heard a recording of Y/N’s voice.

What. The. Fuck.

I ran over to them and took one look of the screen to see the video from weeks ago of me fucking into my girl. It took half a millisecond for me to close the computer and snatch it away from my friends greedy eyes.

“Woah,” Kendal spoke first.

“She spun on your dick, like, literally spun on it,” Khalil said with his mouth held open.

“Please don’t tell Y/N you guys saw this, she’ll kill me,” I begged shamelessly. Y/N warned be about making sure no one saw the video other that us but now, my friends know exactly the way we fuck.

“I already texted her asking for tips,” Hailey shrugged, not caring about my misfortune.

“Shit,” I rubbed my face wit my hands, an act of immediate stress.

“Damn, JB. At first I thought Y/N had way too much attitude but, now I definitely see why you keep her around,” Za laughed before plopping on the couch again.

“Yo forreal though… How you get her to call you daddy? I thought your lame ass had a weak dick game,” Khalil joked, grabbing the controller to start the game up again.

“Now, we know how freaky you two are,” Fredo laughed.

“I think I’m scarred,” Kendall spoke.

“When why did you watch it in the first place?” I shook my head.

“We were curious,” Hailey shrugged.

“When she suck your dick do she do the thing where-” Za started ask.

“Can we please stop talking about this?” I groaned out before he could finish his question.

“Nah, Justin. I’m going need her to each a seminar on riding dick. Or should I say… semenar,” Hailey said her bad pun making everyone crack up as I glared at their content faces.

“Y/N is going to come home and kill me and y'all making jizz jokes?” I groaned in annoyance at my friends.

“You shouldn’t leave your sex tapes laying around. You’re a millionaire, invest in a photo app that requires passwords,” Fredo threw popcorn at me while I graveled in my seat. Y/N was going to kill me.

————————————

i hope the wait was worth it on this one. send in requests - drea💛

“You know me. The real me”

Okay, since you’ve been extra nice (and supportive) on the previous post, I’ll take the leap and blob it for you. Quick warning : it’s been a while I didn’t write anything [let alone post it], and it’ll be a first on the Supergirl series, so it may suck a little but please bear with me.

Originally posted by dailycwsupergirl

Mon-el swallows thickly, palm sweaty, heart beating harder by each passing seconds. Here we go. Kara was facing him, standing her ground, her feet firmly put onto the floor, her hands resting on her hips. The daxamite didn’t dare to look at her for too long, eyes diverting to anywhere but her ––the training room had seemed like a wise choice earlier on, now not so much.

Are you gonna yell at me?” He asks sheepishly, passing his hand on the back of his neck.

Far from me to step out of line.” Kara sounded nearly bitter, and that struck him as a punch to the guts. Kara was never bitter. She was a ball of sunshine, always smiling, always so full of warmth. She was his sun. “Should I bow, yourhighness?”

His eyes closes in defeat, a slight sigh escaping his lips. “Kara, please––”

Don’t!” She cuts him. “I just- were you ever planning to tell me?”

He wanted to say yes, he truly did, but deep down he knew it wasn’t the truth. Ever since he started having feelings for her, feelings he didn’t really comprehend or knew what to do with, he had wanted to tell her the truth, but there was always this gut-clenching fear of loosing her in the back of his mind. She hated everything about Daxam, let alone the Prince. She voiced her opinion about him once and although he did believe that her feelings for him were genuine (not that he understood that because he clearly didn’t deserve her) he feared that they might not be enough to keep her, and he couldn’t afford to loose her. He already lost everything, his family, his planet, his whole world. Kara was his home, now. Earth was a place he did learn to understand and enjoy but Kara was the one that felt like home. He didn’t had to keep up this “Mike” persona that was expected of him out of the DEO walls, he could be himself with her, all of him. He didn’t need to lie, and he didn’t want to. He wanted to be true, to be whole, to her, to do right by her. Be worthy of her, even though he knew he never would. He slowly look up at her, even now, looking beyond pissed, she still was beautiful. “…No, I was not.”

She scoffed in disbelief. “So much for being honest, Mon-el! …Or should I even call you that? Is it even your real name?!”

Her words hurt more than her punches ever could. Had he possibly lost her trust so easily?

It is my name!” He answered nearly defensively. “On Daxam the royalty has- had several names. My official one was Lar Gand, from the Great Royal family of Gand” he didn’t miss how she refrained from rolling her eyes at that, her lips in a thin line “but my mother would call me Mon-el, this is why I gave you this name…”

Oh… And does that explains why you lied?”

I’m not the only one to blame in this, Kara.“ She lift an eyebrow at that. "Your biased view of Daxam clouded your judgment since day one. What else could I have done? I woke up thinking that my planet was dying while I was stuck into this weird place, on a foreign planet, confused and afraid of what may happen to me, and what were your first words to me? “Stay down, daxamite.” Calling me a dangerous murderer all based on where I was from” She clenched her jaw, but he decided to continue. She wanted to know, well fine, he’ll tell her. He’ll tell her everything. “so yeah, when you asked about my identity, I did the only thing I could think of : I lied to protect myself. Because if you didn’t know who I was then you couldn’t use it against me or my home world. The Royal family has been targeted a lot of times, a lot of ways. I was their Prince, the rightful heir to the throne, and here I was, facing a Kryptonian, the very same people that started the war, that wanted us dead––”

we started the war?!” He could feel her anger rising, eyes sending daggers.

It doesn’t matter anymore, Kara” he sighed tiredly “you weren’t ready to hear the truth then and you’re still not… I was the- how did you put it? oh yeah! ––the frat-boy of the universe. The worst of the worst!She clenched her jaw, lowering her gaze to the ground. "How was I supposed to come clean when you said that to my face? And then we grew closer, and the harder it got, because I was all about being honest and true, and I wanted to do right by you, but I told you one thing and I couldn’t go back! How could I? At any given argument, it’d come up : ‘oh, he’s a daxamite!’ ’You’re so selfish, Mon-el'” he mimics “’I don’t know what else I should’ve expected from a daxamite!’” he threw his hands up in the air in despair. “Things were sodifferent then, Kara. I was different. Daxamwas–– exactly how it was rumored to be, maybe even worse… and we-we were not good people, none of us. I’m not pretending I’m suddenly a much better person, but I try!” Her shoulders seemed to relax for a second, and he saw that breach as his opportunity for her to actually listen, his chance to make her understand. You have such high expectations out of me! And I try to reach them, to be different, I want to be better and I try. I try so hard but it never seem to be enough…! You’re always so hard on me, Kara!” She didn’t miss the hint of desperation in his voice, waving his hands around. “All it takes is one mistake and you fall on me with-with those eyes and that-that disappointment in them! You’re so easy to throw me off! I- what I were back then doesn’t matter anymore. I’m not… like that anymore––”

She could hear the uncertainty in his voice and she longed for nothing more than to reach out for him and to pull him in a comforting hug but she refrained. No. She was the one that was angry, that had the right to be angry for the betrayal, for the lies. It was so weird for her to acknowledge that this…this goofus outer space puppy she had put so much time and faith in was actually the infamous Prince of Daxam. He was so unlike the Mon-el she knew. Sure, at first he partied a lot, drank a lot, had affairs with his fair share of women, but that wasn’t very different from earthlings, was it? She watched him evolving, changing for the better, becoming the hero she knew he could be, but more than that she had fallen for him. Hard and deep. He was such an important piece of her life now, she couldn’t imagine going on without him. He was the only one that could make her laugh no matter what, he was so-carefree and that was the perfect balance with the weight she had on her shoulders. He made her so happy. He had been so open and honest with everything else that she stayed completely oblivious. She had never doubted, for even second, that he’s been hiding things from her, not when he knew what honesty meant to her. He witnessed how Guardian’s secret had affected her…

I know it’s not what you want to hear but… You never asked, Kara. About Daxam, about my life there. And I figured your hatred over my people was what was keeping you from asking and somehow I was grateful because if you didn’t ask, then it didn’t matter. So I figured not telling you wasn’t a big deal. You can’t be the Prince of somewhere that no longer exists. Don’t you get it? I was a Prince only by the title, I left them to die.” his voice croaked lightly, and it’s only then she saw it ––the guilt into his bright blue eyes. “I survived becauseI left them die. It’s not something I’ve been proud of... My family, my people, mywhole world was gone. Yes I was the Prince but… It didn’t matter anymore who I used to be. I wasn’t defined by my title any longer, people saw me for me, and Inever realized how much I longed for that! My life on Daxam wasn’t-” he sighs. “-it wasn’t all rainbow and sunshine, alright? I was privileged, yes, but Iwasn’t happy. And things were so different here, it was a fresh start, and who I used to be shouldn’t matter.”

he looked back and forth between those beautiful blue eyes ––comets–– searching for something, anything that would imply that he had reach out to her, that she understood why he did it. He swallows a lump in his throat, trying to keep his voice steady and even. “You know me. The realme! The fact that you are from Krypton, and Ifrom Daxam, doesn’t change the fact that I have fallen in love with you, Kara Zor-el… and as far as I’m concerned nothing will.”

***

Voilà! Any thoughts? All feed-backs are welcomed.

Originally posted by emiliaclarq

The past, the present... The future.  -Part 7

Summary: In SHIELD you are known for your charisma and your irrational optimism. Specially taking in count the irreversible curse HYDRA condemned you with. Because of that, Director Fury has determinate that you are the best person to take care of Bucky’s mental state.

Chapter 7: The girl with the HYDRA scar

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Y/N: Your name

Warnings: Cursing… Nothing else that I can think of.

Word count: 2,431

A/N: Yesss!! It’s four in the morning but I managed to finish this!! Well, let’s see if you like it. As always, please let me know what you think and feel free to give me any feedback you want!

Previously: Part 1, Part 6

Originally posted by widowshields

Previously:

I hear a contain sob that breaks my trance. My breathing is heavy and I can feel the intensity my face showcases after the flashback. Next to me Y/N won’t meet my eyes, rubbing a hand over her face. I feel guilty, she had no reason to hear that, she did not deserve to be haunted by my experiences. But then she does something surprising and squeezes next to me, pulling the blanket around us both.

“I think it worked.” she whispers, her voice still shaky, and I realize that I’m feeling much lighter now that I don’t have to bear that weight alone. “You should sleep now” I rest my head on her shoulder and the light feeling drags me into dream land while she gently runs a hand through my hair.

Before I completely drift off, I hear her mumbling something “So Aleksei had another victim” but I’m too far off now to understand anything.


Bucky’s POV:

I wake up to an unknown smell floating next to me. Before I open my eyes, I’m already conscious and fully alert, and my hand inches slowly towards the gun on my back pocket. The metal feels oddly warm after having absorbed my body heat throughout the night, but I grip it silently and in one swift move, press it against the temple of whoever was next to me, while I open my eyes.

Fear… Panic, is my greeting. The girl seems to be paralyzed. Damn, she’s not even breathing! Her skin is sick pale and her eyes are glittering. Oh, no… It’s…

“Y/N! I’m so sorry! I didn’t recognize you and you scared me! Fuck… I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you” I don’t know what to do with my body. I’m about to put the gun away, but the movement feels too relaxed; but I can’t keep pointing it at her either! I leave it on the table and raise my hands to prove that i’m not a threat, but Y/N seems to have entered the same trance she entered in the training room when I helped her with her boxing. Tears are about to escape her eyes and she hasn’t breathed for a solid minute. She backs away slowly through the sofa, until her back is pressed against the armrest. Fuck, how can I have messed up so badly? “Please, say something”

Keep reading

Stolen

Title: Stolen

 Summary: When Nori gets arrested, again, for stealing, even though he doesn’t need the gold anymore.  To stop it from being an issue, you come up with a creative way to satisfy his uncontrollable urge to pickpocket.  

 Warnings: Language. Theft. Fluff.  

 Masterlist of Fanfiction

“Damn it, Nori!” You shouted at Dwalin when he came to you and told you what happened.  “Why can’t…he doesn’t…”  You put your head in your hands and let out a loud yell, venting your frustrations before you took a deep breath and looked to Dwalin.  “Have you told Dori yet?”

“No.”  The guard gruffed out before leading you down the path towards the cells.  “Thought you were a better choice.”  

You nodded, sighing again as you passed some other guards.  “Thank you, Dwalin.  Dori would just scream at him, that wouldn’t do no good.”  

“Aye.  That’s what I thought.  Thought maybe a pretty lass who was givin’ her heart would be able to, though.”  That smirk, that damn smirk on his face, you were going to wipe it off with his axes if he didn’t stop.  

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My Brother’s Best Friend! (Brendon Urie/Josh Dun Imagine)

Originally posted by britishwantingcanadian

Requested by anon! 

Sigh, I don’t even know what the hell the time is right now, but according to my clock that is currently sitting on my nightstand it is a quarter passed (Y/N) go to sleep already!!
But unfortunately, that is pretty much mission impossible for me at the moment.
You want to know why? Well, you probably don’t, in fact you probably have something much more better to do than to hear me bitch about this amazingly gorgeous rock star that is sleeping under the same roof as me as we speak, and how I am going completely nuts because I have feelings for him, strong feelings actually, I mean why even try to hide it right?
You know what? I apologize, but I’m gonna go ahead and ramble on anyway, because obviously keeping all of this bottled up inside of me and tossing and turning like a idiot in bed clearly isn’t helping me in this situation.

Alright, where do I even begin? I guess I’ll start off with his name, which would be the obvious thing to do….
His name is Brendon, that’s right, I’m talking about THE Brendon Urie from Panic! At the Disco! One of the most awesome bands in the world which is also personally my number one favourite, I can assure anybody that I know every single song of theirs by heart.
And now that his awesome name is out there in the open, I’m pretty certain absolutely NOBODY can blame me for feeling this way.

Now you might be wondering how someone as sexy, funny, and down to Earth guy as Brendon is in my house…just down the hall from my bedroom may I quickly add…
The answer to that question is quite simple, when you have a rock star BROTHER who so happens to be a world famous drummer for an amazing band called 21 Pilots, it’s pretty much easy to meet very important and amazing people.
And the way I met this very important man, I will truly never forget…
I feel like it was only yesterday when Josh, whom I like to consider more of my twin than my older brother because we are too much alike, came home from his big tour with Tyler, that featured Brendon’s band….

*FLASHBACK*

I had gotten a call the previous night from Tyler saying that they were on their way home, that they did their very last show from their almost year long tour and it was the biggest one yet, and as always he started going into detail with me about how epic it was, I swear I consider Tyler to be the second brother that I always wanted, well he sure as hell acts like it overall but I actually love it, he’s more understanding than Josh that’s for sure, Josh could get so overprotective with me almost all the time and it really gets under my skin.
Although I couldn’t help but feel so much excitment in hearing the awesome news, lord knows I almost never get to see these guys, sure sometimes they would take me to their shows and I would watch them in action from back stage, but that’s only if they’re playing in our hometown, I often wish that I could go on tour with them, just being able to go to different cities all around the world sounds like the biggest dream come true, but unfortunately with Josh I would not have the greatest time anyway.
He would be too busy the entire time watching out for boys talking to me and trying to get me to go out with them, and telling them “Hey, take your peverted ass somewhere else!”

Don’t get me wrong now, I love my blood so much, I would actually take a bullet for that guy, but sometimes I just seriously want to kick him in the balls so hard that he ends up turning into my sister.
Anyways, I don’t want to waste too much time just ranting about him, let me cut to when I actually got the honor to meet Brendon.
The time was approximately four thirty in the morning when I heard the loud knocking on my front door, no joke I jumped out of bed even though I was deeply half asleep and pretty much stumbled everywhere as if I had one too many, including being the clutz that I was born to be and hitting my face on the doorframe like an idiot.
Thankfully that helped me fully wake up though and I made it down the stairs without getting badly injured.
“Oh my God Joshy!! I missed you!!” I squealed as I ran to the door, but when I opened it, the man standing on the other side was certainly not my bro…
“Hi there.” Brendon nicely greeted as soon as his eyes caught sight of me, standing with his luggages beside him.

I cannot even begin to describe how heavenly he looked, the way he was standing perfectly tall, enough to make my neck hurt from looking up so much.
And also the sexy scent of that cologne of his he was giving off, not to mention his forehead, I know a lot of people make fun of it but I actually find it to be cute and it was a hell of a lot cuter in person.
He was dressed pretty casual of course but he still looked stunning in my eyes.
At this point I really couldn’t tell if I was dreaming or not, but I must’ve had a stupid look upon my face because I instantely snapped myself back into reality at the sound of a chuckle comming out of him.

“Um…(Y/N)? Right?” He asked with an adorable smile.
“What? OH! Yeah yeah, that’s me, wow…holy shit…Brendon Urie?!…Uh I’m so sorry if this sounds rude but what the hell are YOU doing here?!” I asked, a huge grin appearing on me.
“Hahaha, I’m guessing your brother didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?” I quizzed, but before he could answer Josh came into the picture.
“(Y/N)!! Hey!” He cheered, but I was too concentrated on the angel standing in front of me to even pay attention.
“Well shit…” I heard him mutter and once again, I snapped myself back into reality.
“Hm? Oh crap!! Josh!!”
“Yeah that’s more like it!” He exclaims with slight laugter as I give him a huge hug.
“I missed you bro!”
“Missed you too brat, I see you’ve met Brendon.”
Once again my eyes land on him and this time I try my best not to allow myself be hypnotized by his radiant beauty.

“Yeah….w-we met…hi again Brendon.” I beamed.
“Hi again (Y/N).” He played along.
“Yeah my bud here is gonna be staying with us for a few weeks before he flies out for his next performance.”
“I’m sorry did….did you just use stay here and weeks in the same sentence?” I asked, feeling like I was gonna have a heart attack right then and there.
“Yes, I did, whyyy?” Josh pressed in a radther curious tone.
I rolled my eyes and punched his arm…
“Dude! What do you mean why?! You know how much of a fan I am of this guy!” I squealed, smacking my hands together for a happy clap.
“Are you really?” Brendon chimed in.
“Hell yeah! I especially loved you as a demon for that one music video for Emperor’s New Clothes!! Seriously bravo! That’s like one of my all time favourite Panic songs! How does it go again? Oh yeah! I’m taking back the croowwwwn!!” I began to sing, I was about to stop immediately in fear of looking stupid in front of my favourite singer of all time, but to my shocking, tit twitching surprise, he actually sang along with me….
“I’m all dressed up and naked!! I see what’s mine and take it!!”
“Finders keepers!! Losers weepers!!” I playfully add.
“Oooooohh yeaaaah!!” He sang loudly, causing my mouth to drop, his voice honestly sounds ten times more beautiful up close in person.

I couldn’t even sing along anymore…
Josh had to go ahead and ruin everything though by interrupting him with a pat on the shoulder.
“Hey man, first of all it’s late and I have neighbors, second, you just came from doing a night long performance you should be on vocal rest.”
“Fun sucker.” I glared, earning myself his middle finger.
“Right, sorry bro.” Brendon sweetly apologized, shyly looking down and I could’ve sworn his eyes looked back up to stare at me for a couple of minutes, although it was a little dark to tell.
But seriously from that little moment we had, I could tell that having him under my roof for the next couple of weeks was going to be awesome.
“So (Y/N), I’m gonna help him carry his stuff in, you prepare the guest bedroom. We are gonna catch up on as much sleep as possible.”
“Sure thing.” I assured, running upstairs to clean up a little in the room Brendon was going to be sleeping in.
Only moments later as I was still doing that, I heard footsteps comming down the hallway.
I was done preparing the room anyway so I stepped out, only to be a clutz again and bump into Brendon, causing him to drop his stuff and make a loud noise.
“Shit! Brendon I am so so sorry, ugh why does that always have to happen to me?” I whined.
“It’s okay don’t worry about it, it’s not like you meant to do that…right?”
“Of course!” I promised, helping him bring everything inside.

“(Y/N) did you kill Brendon?!” Josh called out from the living room.
“Ha ha dumbass.” I huffed, rolling my eyes once more.
“You guys are pretty funny.” He complimented.
“Not even, just natrual brother sister crap.”
“Right. You know Josh has shown me a lot of pictures of you during tour.”
“Oh God don’t tell me he showed you the one where I had chicken pox and he played connect the dots with me…” I pleaded, genuine fear evident in my face.
“Um….no…more recent ones like from your instagram.”
“Oh…” Was all I could manage to say, way to go (Y/N)…
“Did he really?”
“Yeah, I can tell you guys have a really close relationship, I think that’s pretty cool, and he also told me that you want to be a singer?”
I felt my cheeks go red in less than a second at the mention of my life’s dream…
“He’s such a big mouth, but yes…I do want to be a singer, him and Tyler have inspired me a lot to just go out there and show the world my talent. I never thought that these guys would be as big as they are now, it still shocks me.”

“Oh yeah they’re truly amazing, but I bet you are too, I would love to hear you sometime.”
“Well…technically you just did, like a minute ago downstairs.” I pointed with my thumb behind me.
“True but you really held back, I want to hear you go all out.”
I couldn’t help but smile a little at his sweetness, especially because he kept smiling himself everytime he got a sentence out to me.
“R-Really?…”
“Of course.”
Just then Josh came inside with the last of his luggage.
“Alright man here are the rest of your things, you know how the saying goes, mi casa su casa, so make yourself comfortable and have a good sleep, (Y/N), quit bothering him and get your butt to sleep too, you’re starting to get crow’s feet as we speak.”
“Shut it asshole!” I glared at him again, back handing his stomach.
“Hehe it’s okay man she’s not bothering me at all, in fact you interrupted our nice conversation.” Brendon playfully stated.
“Hey now I’m just trying to save you from having nightmares.” Josh said, motioning to me, and I gave him an even harder smack for that.
“Ow!”

“Don’t be mean to your sister.” He tells him.
“Yeah don’t be mean to your sister!” I gladly repeated.
“You know that I’m just joking (Y/N), don’t start getting all sensitive on me now, besides, I really did miss you brat.” He says, side hugging me and roughing up my already messy hair.
“I missed you too idiot.” I assured, fully hugging him this time.
“Good, well my ass is gonna go to bed now I’m tired as hell, you guys have a good night.” Joshua yawned, waving goodbye at both of us.
“Goodnight, and thanks again for letting me crash here man, although I could’ve just stayed at a hotel or something.” Brendon pointed out, high fiving my brother.
“Dude no, I wasn’t gonna let you do that, and no need to thank me I’m happy to open my doors for you.”
So am I brother….so am I….
Brendon thanked him once more before he finally left us alone again.

For a minute I began to picture this moment  like those sappy love movie scenes where as soon as the two people who are secretly in love with each other are alone again, they start making out like crazy and even start to take each other’s clothes off.
I know I sound completely insane because him and I had literally just met moments ago but hey now, a girl can still fantasize all she wants.
But I should really get to my room before I jump on him without me even knowing it.
“Okay uh…I should go back to sleep now so, yeah have a good night, and it was really nice meeting you Brendon.” I said, taking steps towards the open door.
“Wait!” He quickly called out, and of course I turned around to face him.
“What’s up?”
“Are you gonna keep your promise?”
“Hm? What promise?” I slightly laugh.
“That you’re going to sing for me.” He smirks, good lord, smirking really suits him well.
“Hold up, I never once said I promise to sing for you.”
“Now you did.” He grinned like the devil himself.

My mouth almost literally dropped to the floor, wow, he’s good I must say…
“Smooth.” I compliment with squinted eyes.
All he did was chuckle in response and finished with a…
“Goodnight (Y/N)…”
I don’t know if it’s just me but it seems to me like he loves to say my name a lot.
“Night Brendon, oh and I’m sorry I so don’t look like my instagram pictures right now.” I tell him, seriously if you could see just how much of a wreck I looked that night, it just makes me want to facepalm myself a thousand times.
“It’s okay, you actually look better.”
I couldn’t find the right words to say to him other than a simple thank you, his words really touched me and made me feel major butterflies form in my tummy, was he really flirting with me? Was all I could think of over and over.
Obviously it was extremely hard for me to believe because of who he is, I mean sure I’m Joshua Dun’s younger sister, but that’s it.
“Are you joking?” I accidently blurted out, but then I was happy to have asked that because of his answer…
“Not at all, you’re prettier in person, trust me.”

“Well…wow thanks that’s really sweet of you…”
“What can I say? I’m a really honest guy.” He shrugged, grabbing one of his suit cases and began unpacking.
I just gave him a shy smile and walked away into the hallway, down to my bedroom.
It was very safe to say that I went to sleep with probably the brightest smile of my life that night, and little did I know that that wasn’t going to be the only time Brendon would make me smile so hard meanwhile he became our handsome temporary roommate.

For the next four or five weeks or so, how can I describe them really? They were the absolute BEST weeks of my life, Brendon was just what this house was missing all along, he would take Josh and I out to the most amazing places we didn’t even know this city had, there was never a dull moment because of his great sense of humor and goofy personality, but what started getting to me the most was the way he was with me whenever Josh wasn’t in the house.
Don’t dare begin to think wrongly of him now, Brendon in no way would try to get all touchy and disrespect me, not at all.
In fact, he would be the sweetest soul in the world, and the more days he spent with us here the closer the two of us became.
I started to feel like I could be so open with him,  and he was seriously the best listener on Earth.
He also knew exactly how to make me smile whenever my brother and I would have a fight and it left me feeling down in the dumps.
Soon, I even began to see Brendon more as a person, not just a famous band singer, and I was loving the fact that I was getting to know him more and more on a deeper, more personal level.

But it also led me to develop some really emotional feelings of love for him.
I know it was very much obvious from the start that I was head over heels for him, but now that I think about it, those feelings were just nothing more than a fangirl crush.
Now that I know him this way, I would really want to be a in a true connecting relationship with Brendon.
And if I’m not mistaking, he kind of feels the same way for me…I mean I really don’t want to get my hopes up high either, but I can easily tell when a guy is truly feeling a girl, and Brendon is surely showing signs of that with me.
It might sound just a wee bit crazy because it’s only been a few weeks, but this close bond that we share makes me certain about how my heart beats loudly like a drum for him, that I can never deny even if I wanted to.
He’s just so amazing and beautiful inside and out.
He’s for sure everything that I ever wanted in a man. Plus I love playing with that great hair of his very much.

Well, besides all the amazing weeks I got to spend with him, absolutely nothing could prepare me for what happened just this morning….

I had gone out to the grocery store since since it was my turn to make dinner tonight, big surprise there since fucking Josh burned the food he was trying to make the night before.
We didn’t even know what it was, hell, my brother himself didn’t even know what it was.
So of course, I volunteered to save our stomachs some food poisoning, I just hope that Brendon likes what I’m going to cook.
Right as I was putting away everything in it’s place in the kitchen I heard his angelic voice call out to me…
“(Y/N)?! Is that you?!”
“Yeah it’s me Beebo what’s up?!” I yelled in return.
“Is Josh down there too?!”
“No! Just me!” I answered.
“Oh! Can you come up here for a moment?!”
My brows furrowed for a bit, and I couldn’t help but feel a little nervous, I swear if I find him naked on his bed with rose petals spread all around…I’m not gonna hold back…just kidding….maybe not.

“Comming!” I notified, placing a few more things away before going upstairs to the guest room.
Unfortunately my fantasy didn’t come true, he was just sitting on his bed with a small keyboard in his hand and a few crumpled up pieces of blank papers all over the floor.
“Hey, come on in, crap, sorry for the mess I’ll promise I’ll clean it up.”
“Don’t even worry, Josh’s room looks like a damn cave with weird undiscovered creatures inside.”
He chuckled and cleared the chair he was resting his foot on, then patted the seat signaling me to sit.
“So what are you busy with here?”
“I wrote a new song, and I wanted to show you, tell me what you think okay? I really need an honest opinion.”
I nodded in agreement and got comfortable, as he began to play his little keyboard which looked super adorable by the way, the melody was already sounding amazing.
But it really hit home when he began to sing the words that were beautifully put together.

I was so lost in his talented voice, and it made me feel so special that I was the very first person to hear this new track, live.
Our eyes were locked the entire time, this had to be the most romanitc moment him and I shared, I didn’t even realize that the song was long over…
“(Y/N)?…(Y/N)!” He laughed, waving his hand in my face to bring me back.
“Huh? My bad…”
“Soooo? What do you think? It wasn’t stupid was it?”
“What? Brendon no that was completely breath taking, in fact I think I have a new favourite panic song. It was amazing believe me.” I smiled.
He also beamed very thankfully…
“I’m very happy you think so. You know you never fullfilled your promise.”
“What are you….oh…right…” I giggled.
“I think now would be the perfect time.”

“Look man….I know I said I wanted to be a singer but my shyness is bigger than my confidence.”
I couldn’t help but let in a small gasp when he grabbed a hold of my hand…
“(Y/N), you might not believe this but I was just like you, I was so scared and I had the biggest fear of performing in front of atleast one person. But in all my time as a singer I’ve learned that you are never going to really enjoy life if you allow fear to hold you down all the time. Now come on, you can do this. What other song of ours do you like besides Emperor’s New Clothes?” He questions.
“Hmm….I always did love to do covers of This is Gospel.” I replied.
“Good, that’s awesome! Go with that. Here I’ll even play it for you here.”
“No!” I blurted out.
“You want to go acapella?” Brendon asks.
“It’s not that it’s just…I don’t know why you holding my hand would make me feel more comfortable singing…” I hesitantly confessed.

But Brendon, as I have mentioned, being the nicest guy ever, he lovingly held my hand securely in his with an assuring smile.
“Better?”
All I could do was nodd and clear my throat…
“Okay…one…two…three..go..”
“This is gospel for the fallen ones, locked away in permanent slumber….” I began to sing, truthfully I did hold back a bit, but then as I sang more of the song I started to get really into it.
Although I was having fun whaling my heart out, my cheeks were burning like crazy as I saw Brendon grinning brightly, but even more when I saw how dangerously close his face was getting to mine.
“Cause these words are knives that often leave scars, the fear of falling apart, and truth be told I never was yours…the fear, the fear of falling apart…” I trailed off, witnessing how our lips were just mere inches away from each other.

“Beebo?…” I softly muttered…
And his response was pressing his lips against mine, I felt such a fire inside of me, I couldn’t believe that he was actually kissing me, his beautiful tastey plump lips felt sensational upon mine.
I don’t even remember how long the kiss lasted, but all I knew at that time, was that I never wanted it to end.
When we finally got the strength to lean away from each other, with our eyes slowly opening, things were quiet, but then I got the courage to speak up…
“Brendon…w-what was that all about?…”
“God I’m so sorry (Y/N)…I just…I’ve been wanting to do that for some time now…but I’m sorry I should’ve asked first.” He says, looking down, once more I grabbed his hand and made him lock eyes with me again.
“No no, don’t be sorry…I’m actually happy that you kissed me.”
“You are?”
“Yeah, Brendon ever since you came here and, I got the pleasure of getting to know you more over time, well, I really like you.” I tell him.
“You have no idea how happy I am to know that, I really like you too…” He chuckled.

“Then kiss me again please.” I softly murmured.
Now I was feeling like I was in a sappy love movie scene.
I saw how his bottom lip was taken in between his teeth with a smirk while he slowly leaned in and kissed me again.
Now that I knew for certain that he was into me like I am into him, I embraced our little make out session…until unfortunately…
“What’s going on here?” We both heard a voice sternly inqure behind us.
We quickly leaned away from each other and sure enough my brother was standing in the doorway, and the expression he had was very unpleasant, I felt like I was in for the embarassment of a lifetime.
“Josh-” I began but he cut me off in less than a micro second.
“Hey man! Just because I invite you to crash here doesn’t mean you’re allowed to hit on my sister!!” He yelled, slightly pushing me to the side.

“I wasn’t hitting on her!! I’m sorry but it’s more than that! I really like (Y/N) and she really likes me.”
“Well guess what Brendon?! I don’t want my little sister dating a rock star! I already know how much of heartbreakers you guys are! So (Y/N)! You stay away from him! And you! You pack your shit and leave tomorrow!” Josh yelled.
“Excuse me?! But what about what I want?! You may be my family Josh but you’re not the boss of me! And you especially don’t get to run my love life!” I spoke up.
“Look I know what I’m doing!” He claimed.
“If that’s making your little sister miserable! Then good job jackass!” I shot.
“Shut up!! You’re not gonna be with him and that’s final!”
“Don’t talk to her like that!! And how dare you accuse me of being a heartbreaker?! I thought we were cooler than that Josh! I thought you knew me better!” Brendon stepped in.
“Dude I’ve known you for half a year!”
“Wow…well It only took a couple of minutes to really know YOU.” He death glared.

“Alright look!” I announced, both of them glancing at me.
“Brendon I really like you, I meant it when I said that, but I don’t wanna be the cause of your friendship being ruined, so you know what? Let’s just pretend that none of this ever happened, that way everybody is happy!!….
except for me…” I halfway whispered at the end and walked away to lock myself in my bedroom before they could even respond to me.
I heard them calling my name but I just wanted to be alone….

*END OF FLASHBACK*

And that is how I am where I am now, I’ve literally stayed locked in here the entire day up until now that it’s way passed midnight.
This is why I said from the start that my brother really gets under my skin with his overprotection.
Obviously the only time I would get out of my room was for the bathroom, both Brendon and Josh would come and knock on my door to try and talk to me, but I knew I was going to explode with anger and tears so I kept on ignoring like if they weren’t in the house.
A heavy sigh released itself from me in frustration to know that I have to go to the bathroom yet again.
Hopefully these two are deep asleep right now and not trying to rip each other’s heads off.
I got up off my bed and walked to open the door, when I stepped into the hallway I saw Brendon with his packed up luggages, exiting the guest room, he was all dressed up and ready to go from what it seemed.
Seeing that made my heart shatter and my eyes water almost instantely….
“Brendon…” I loudly whispered, immediately he looked up and stood almost frozen.
“(Y/N)…what are you doing up at this time?”

“I was getting up to go to the bathroom…are you leaving?…” I fearfully question, my voice trembling at the end.
“Yeah…I am…I have to go.”
“What? No you don’t! I don’t want you to go!” I truthfully said, raising my voice slightly.
“But your brother does…”
“Who cares what the fuck my brother wants! He clearly doesn’t care about what I want!”
He looked as if he ran out of what to say to me, but I see the sadness in his eyes, I know he didn’t want to leave either, he was just forcing himself to.
“Hey listen I am so sorry for ignoring you the whole day but Josh got me really upset and….just please don’t go Brendon! Please! Don’t leave me yet!” I begged, running right towards him and wrapping my arms around his waist.
As soon as he held me back in a tight and loving embrace, I allowed my tears to fully run down my face, quiet but also loud sobs escaping me as well.

“I don’t want to leave you (Y/N), trust me baby if it were up to me I would stay and be with you as your boyfriend. But I can’t….”
“Son of a bitch….” We heard Josh’s voice sigh one more time behind us.
I leaned away and gave him the biggest death stare of his life…
“I hope you’re happy Joshua.”
“(Y/N)-”
“No!! You’re gonna listen to ME this time! Brendon and I are gonna be together whether you like it or not!!”
“(Y/N)-”
“And no matter how much you BITCH about it it’s not gonna stop us!!”
“(Y/N)-”
“And you know what else?!-”
“Shut up brat!! Let me talk!! Geez! You’re worse than mom when you get heated! I feel sorry for your future gremlines that you’re gonna call your children! Now keep it zipped for one moment and hear me out!” He yelled.

Brendon took a hold of my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze to relax me.
I took a really deep breath and persuade him to go on…
“I’m sorry for the way I reacted earlier okay? I’ve been giving it some really deep thought the whole day and…you’re right I shouldn’t get to run your love life. I should be able to just trust you in making the right choices. And I hate to admit it but, Brendon is a really nice guy, I know he wont break your heart because I’ve seen the way he treats you from the time he’s been here with us. I’m sorry for being a jackass sometimes with you but you’re my little sister, just like dad would always say to you, no guy is ever gonna be good enough for you.”

More tears came down my face, but this time they were tears of happiness.
This is also why earlier I said, that I would take a bullet for this guy, I really would.
I ran up to him and gave him a bear hug…
“Thanks bro.”
“Yeah yeah, now get away from me.” Josh joked, playfully shoving my head which I did back.
“Thank you Josh.” Brendon tells him, also approaching him and giving him a handshake.
“No problem dude, and you don’t have to leave so put your stuff back in your room. You can stay here until you really have to go. BUT! If the two of you are really gonna be together, I’m gonna lay down just a few rules!” My brother sternly states, pointing his index finger at us.
We both took a deep breath, and waited for him to hit us with all the strictness he has.

“Okay what are they?…” I lightly pressed.
“First of all, no making out in front of me! No PDA whats so EVER in front of me. Or I will kill both of you in your sleep!”
“Sounds fair.” Brendon slightly laughed, and eventually I agreed as well, although it’s gonna be hard.
“Alright, second! If you guys are gonna do the dirty-”
“Joshua!” I scolded, I don’t ever want my brother even thinking about that with us! Doesn’t mean it’s not gonna happen though just saying.
“Wait I want to hear this.” My new boyfriend smirked.
“Watch it Urie.” Josh warned, making his sexy smirk dissapear.
“As I was saying, if you guys are gonna do the dirty it has to be OUTSIDE of this house! And I’m gonna be able to tell if you did because I’m the one who does laundry here! Understand?”
“Yeah yeah.” I roll my eyes.
“And lastly, you sleep in your own bedrooms every night.”
“But-”
“Period!!”

We both huffed and slowly nodded in hesitation to agree with his stupid little rules.
“Got it.” We said in unison.
“Okay, now can we please get some sleep while the moon is still up? Goodnight.”
“Goodnight Joshy.” I replied.
As soon as he was out of sight I pulled my man’s shirt down and kissed him.
He deepened the kiss a little and then peppered my face in pecks that made me giggle.
“So I guess we’re official now huh?” He beamed.
“I guess we are, see you in the morning boyfriend.” I grinned.
Brendon pecked my lips once more and them my cheek.
“Goodnight, my beautiful girlfriend.”
We went ahead back inside our rooms, atleast now I’m returning to bed with a huge smile on my face that makes my cheeks surely be sore when I wake up.
I grab my pillow and hug it tight as my eyes slowly drifted off to sleep, but then I wake up in a realization that…

I still need to go to the bathroom….

(Hopefully I did a good job on this and this is what the anon who requested this had in mind ✨)
-YessyLove🌶

Reign Supreme Chapter 3

I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME THREE DAYS TO PUBLISH! I actually waited because this chapter has a lot of smut and because I am not a great smut writer I went back and took some things out and added some things. I also added some better descriptions and words. I wanted to feel good about releasing it not nervous and somewhat bad because it wasn’t up to everyone’s standards.

Another thing my tags are not working for some reason so if i missed anyone who asked to be tagged please let me know and ill add you.

I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Please like and share with your followers. Let me know what you think as well. Oh and one more thing there is going to be a part 4 ;) I had to make up for the late posting. So be ready for that. With that here we go.

Synopsis: Shae is about to have he world conquered then obliterated by The Emperor.

Warnings: SMUT! Holy shit there is a lot of smut! Also some fluff :)

Tag Squuuad: @blumisty @starstar1012 @rocketgirl2410 @lavitabella87 @ii-love-roman-reigns @roman-empire-will-reign-again @m-a-t-91 @builtonsin91 @thiickreigns @greatbreadwizard @x-fivefoot @pittiemommy22 @roman-reigns-empire-1996 @macfizzle @vivalavonvon @niazha16 @not-that-kinda-gurl08 @alexahood21 @captainrogersbucky @jraesmith12

***********************************************

I moaned at his words. How can one person affect me so much? How can he make me want him the way I do. How does he know exactly what I want to hear?

The most important question is how does he know I want to move on?

I can ask myself all those questions later right now I need to focus on the sexy ass Samoan in front of me.

Roman smirks against my lips and then immediately pulls back. He doesn’t just pull back he takes a step back. All the while still smirking.

“Oh baby girl I’m going to have so much fun with you. You have no idea.”

I stare at him for a split second before speaking.

“What does all that mean?” I damn well know what it means. I just want to hear him say it.

“You know what that means. It means what I just said.”

With that he turns and walks away. But not before calling over his shoulder to me.

“I’ll see you after the show. Don’t try to run or hide from me. I’ll find you.”

Oh my god… that’s so fucking hot. Goddamnit Roman you’re killing me here.

I just stare at his broad muscular back as he walks away.

I stand there for a few moments before falling backwards against my desk and placing my hands behind me to catch my fall.

I’m in utter shock. Complete and utter shock.

Roman wants me. He wants to break me. And claim me.

I wasn’t the least bit mad by that. Surprised? Yes because this whole time I thought he never knew who I was. But mad? Never. Not even if I wanted to.

I reached over to my bag after a few moments trying to get my thoughts together and texted Nia right away.

-S: Nia I need to talk to you now! Please come to the trainers room. SOS!!!!!

Nia replies back immediately.

-N: I’m on my way. Be there in less than a minute. Just got done with my match.

-S: See you in a second.

I put my phone down on my desk and stand up to pace the room.

I wasn’t nervous about what he said. I accepted it and wanted it. I was nervous because he wanted me. Me! I wasn’t expecting that. And he was so fucking dominating it was criminal. Like that was intense. But it made me soaking wet. It made my heart race and it made me want him so much more.

I know he could be dark and powerful because I’ve seen him do it in the ring but never outside of it. I had never seen him like that with anyone. But then again I had never talked to him before so how would I know? I only saw him at work. Never outside of it.

Someone cleared their throat. Immediately my snapped up and saw Nia standing there. I ran over to her and grabbed her hand. I pulled her into the room and closed the door. She looks at me with a look of fear and trepidation.

“Babe what’s going on? Why are you pacing around looking distraught?”

I just look at her with a look of confusion.

Is that how I looked? “I’m not distraught. In fact I’m ecstatic. And also nervous. Oh and so damn horny. Roman came in here a few minutes ago. He cornered me and well he wants me.”

She looks at me for a few seconds with a blank expression before smiling and clapping her hands together.

“Finally! I thought I’d take forever.”

“Wait, you knew what happened?”

She looks at me with a smile and shakes her head no. “I didn’t know he would come in here and talk to you but I figured he’d be pretty upset at the news of you rejecting the idea of loving him.”

“Nia what did you do?”

“Shae I told him how you felt. I told him how you cared about him even though you hadn’t ever talked to him.”

I stare at her in utter shock. “Nia how could you? I didn’t want him to know that. I was trying to work through my feelings. I was trying to move on.”

She looks at me expectantly. “But…?” She says this while placing a hand on her hip.

I take a deep breathe and smile. “I’m glad he knows. And I’m glad he somewhat shows he wants me too. How did you convince him to do this”

It’s her turn to look at me in confusion. “I told him, yes,  but I didn’t convince him to come talk to you. But I figured he wasn’t happy. I told him and his face dropped. He looked lost for a moment before he became a bit mad.”

I look at her with a look of pure shock. “Uh, Nia what is a bit mad?”

“Uhh well,” she reaches up and scratches her head “He punched the wall then stormed off. But not before telling me and everyone in earshot and I quote “She isn’t going anywhere if I can help it. She’s mine.””

I just stand there absorbing that information. I’m his? He wanted me. He wants me. That’s the only thing that I can think about.

“Nia he said some things.” I look down as my cheeks start to burn. Not out of shame but embarrassment. I don’t think I can say nose things to her while looking into her eyes.

“What did he say?” She sits across from my desk. I sit as well and start from the beginning. I tell her everything because well it was still fresh and like a high school girl I needed to tell someone. That someone being my best friend.

She nods and even gasps at some of the story. When I’m finished she looks at me like i’ve grown another head.

“Oh shit. Ro is so serious. He’s always been like this. Once he sets his eyes on something he doesn’t stop until he has it. And I know he acts like that in the ring but it’s his nature. Shae he’s coming for you.”

I gulp. My tummy is doing somersaults. I’m so excited on the inside. I want him to show me how bad he wants me.

*****Later that night*****

RAW is officially over. Roman didn’t come back to the trainer’s room. I ended up watching him cut a promo declaring he was coming for the Universal title at Wrestlemania. And when he said that it made it so much more real that he was comin for me. And it made me so wet thinking about it. My body wants him no matter what happens. And my heart wants to be his. I just hope I can handle this.

I’m in my office finishing up paperwork and cleaning up used supplies when I feel hands on my waist. I don’t flinch or pull away. I don’t even look behind me to know it’s Roman.

No one else has ever simply touched me and made me feel so safe or wanted. His touch is warm and sure. It seeps into me and makes me melt.

He steps up behind me and wraps his arms around my middle. I am feel his torso on my back. I can feel his cock directly in the middle of my lower back. And it’s rock hard.

He leans down and chuckles into my right ear. “I love that you listened to me. You didn’t run. Why is that? I thought you wanted to forget me… forget your feelings for me.”

I take a deep breath and speak. “Roman I didn’t know what else to do. Why keep fantasizing over what could never be? It felt like a pipe dream. I never imagined I’d be here with you, like this. It just felt wrong to want something like this with someone I was sure didn’t know who I was let alone my name.”

Roman steps back and turns me towards him. “Why didn’t you come to me and tell me?”

Wow. “Tell you? Tell you what? That I loved you? I wasn’t sure you even knew who I was Roman. I couldn’t tell you that. I couldn’t risk the rejection.” As I say that last part I stare at the ground.

“Baby girl look at me.” When I don’t he places his big hands on either side of my face and tilts my hands up. “ Baby I had a right to know. I had a right to know that I had a women as beautiful as you wanting me. How would you have known whether or not I would’ve rejected you?”

“I don't” I say while staring down.

“I don’t like you doubting yourself. I’ll show you how much I want you.” He steps into my personal space and leans down to nibble on my right earlobe. “Go and lie on the exam table baby.”

I can’t breathe. I don’t know exactly what’s he’s going to do but I have a feeling and it is making me so wet. Turning , I walk towards the table and somehow get onto it without embarrassing myself. I hear a click and the turning of a lock. Roman is leaning on the door with his back against it. His eyes are solely on me. His tongue flicks out between his teeth and he licks his lips.

“Hmm baby I was going to wait to fuck you till tonight when we were on my bed. I had a whole plan. I would come in here and take you back to my suite. I would tell you how you were mine and how I was going to claim you. Then I was going to fuck you into oblivion. But not before I played with that pretty little pussy of yours. I was going dive in head first and taste you on my tongue and fingers before I pushed my cock into you and filled you. But now..”

Roman started to walk towards me slowly with the look of a predator on his face. He looked like he was about to feast on his prey… me. He looked absolutely dangerous. But I know he’ll never hurt me. I don’t know how I knew but I did. And I trusted him to keep me safe even from himself.

As he walked he removed his glove and wrist bands. Then he reaches up to unzip his vest but not before unbuckling it from the bottom.  And my god it was glorious. As he he undoes the clip then pulls the zipper. Slowly he pulls it down while revealing his amazing chest. His pecs are so smooth. His nipples are so smooth and dark. His right pec is covered with the same tattoo his right arm is. Once he pulls his zipper completely down I can’t help but drool a bit. The emperor is so goddamn fine. And right now hes all mine. He drops his vest

“But now I have a new plan. To show you how beautiful you are to me. To show you how much I want you. To show you how much I need you.” He stops in front of me and places his hands on my knees and spreads them apart to step between them.He places his left hand on my cheek and rubs his thumb across my lips. “I want to show you how much I love you.”

I’m shocked. I’m just in utter shock. I can’t believe this. I don’t think I heard him correctly. “..Ro what was that?” He smiles at me and captures my lips in a sudden heated kiss. I can’t believe this. It takes me a moment to kiss him back but once I do I grab his face in my hands and kiss him back with everything I have. After kissing for what seems like forever Ro pulls back but not before nibbling my bottom lip.

“Baby lie back. Let me take a look at you.” I lie back while still reeling. I can’t believe he loves me. How? How can he love me? Me?!

Roman comes up to my left side and trails his hands over my body. My chest, tummy, thighs and legs. He doesn’t linger too long just long enough to let me know he’s touching me.

He grabs my shirt and tugs it free of my cargo pants and starts to unbutton it from the bottom. I’m glad I wore a button down shirt and a front clasp bra today. Once he has it unbuttoned he pulls it apart and starts to touch and rub my chest and tummy. He bends down and kiss along the tops of my breast. I arch up into his mouth and grab handfuls of his hair. He chuckles against my skin.

“Baby girl take it off for me. Take off your top and bra.” He grabs my hands to loosen my hold on his hair. He steps back to watch me. I sit up and shrug out of my shirt. I reach up and undo the clasp of my bra and pull it off. I am completely bare from the waist up. My nipples are pink and erect from the arousal that is coursing through my veins. I reach up and decide to give him something to watch. I run my fingers over my tummy and the bottom of my breast. I then tweak my right nipple and a moan escapes my lips. I then reach over to do the same to my left nipple. My head falls back and I can feel myself start to soak my panties. I tug on both of my nipples and I can feel a sharp tug in my lower half. It’s so delicious. I start to forget he’s watching me and lose myself.

But before I can get to worked up on my own Roman is there. He grabs my hands and pulls them from my nipples. His mouth captures my right nipple and bites it. I scream out and arch into his mouth. He releases my hands and wraps his fingers around my left nipple, tweaking it while still sucking on my right. He swirls his tongue around my nipple before leaning back. He leans down once again and repeats the process with my left one. This time I detonate when he bites me.

“Ohhhhhhh Roman! Fuuuuuuuck!” I scream out his name and arch my back to get a better feel of his teeth on me. My orgasm rushes through me and I’m soon coming down from my high.

Roman wastes little time and pulls at his pants. He drops his belt after pulling through the loops on his pants and starts to unbutton them. He then pulls his zipper down and pushes his pants down those thick thighs.

His cock is magnificent. Its long and hard. It has veins running along the length of it. The head is nice and large like the head of a mushroom. My god he is going spear me to death.

In that moment I knew exactly what I want to do.

I run my fingertips around the head of his cock and down the velvety skin of his length. So hot, thick and impossibly hard. I run my fingers from base to tip, stopping to trace the tiny eye with the very tip of my index finger before moving back down, hypnotized by the feel of him.

I want to taste him. No. Need to taste him. I lean forward and slide him into my mouth and swirl my tongue around the tip, stretching out to trace the pattern her fingers just made. Roman lets out a deep moan and jerks his hips. I smirk around his cock and focus on the task at hand while listening to him moan. I work my tongue hazardously up, over and around the rigid length of his cock in wide strokes, soft feathery caresses, light teasing licks and then down the underside. Drawing him deeper into my mouth she felt the beat of his pulse, a steady beat against my tongue.

“Babygirl that feels so good.”

“Fuck swallow this cock.”

Hearing him come undone makes my body ache. I want him inside me so fucking bad.

He runs his thick fingers through my hair, stroking my earlobes and sides of my head. For a moment I think he’s about to use his hands to hold my head still and fuck my mouth to his own content, but he doesn’t. I take that as a sign that he wants me to continue and take him where I want to go, as far as I want to go. I take him, inch by inch, as far inside my mouth until I can’t take anymore. My mouth and throat are completely full of him. As I lean back to suck him, I slide one hand up and down his shaft twisting and squeezing lightly, as he moans louder, stopping once in awhile to cup his balls in the other hand, I fondle them and marvel at the velvety smooth skin covering them.

I want him to come for me. Plain and simple. I want to make love to him with my mouth, I want to feel the moment that he comes. I want him dazed unable to think straight, seeing stars.

Raw. Powerful. Uninhibited. Head thrown back, eyes, closed, body wracking with his orgasm. Roman. I want Roman to give it to me. I want to taste it, feel it, revel in it and lock that memory away.

He had tried to warn me he that he was about to come. “Baby stop or in going to c-come in your mouth.” He’s breathing hard and even stuttering a bit. He tried to push my mouth away. He was trying to wait until I had mine before he got his. It was sweet. But I didn’t want that. I didn’t want sweet or nice. I wanted Roman to take me and let me take him too.

Slowing down I mouthed him for a moment and waited for it, watched him through half-open eyes throw his head back, stifle a scream, lift his hips and come hard in my mouth. Swallowing and looking up, into eyes wide and disbelieving. Bright soulful eyes that belong to the object of all my fantasies turned reality, my crush, my desire. Licking my lips I smile up at him.

After a few seconds Roman pulls his hips back and his cock pulls out of my mouth with an audible ‘POP’. He bends down and takes of his combat boots and then pulls off his cargo pants. Hes gloriously naked.

He looks up at me and leans into me capturing my lips in a heated kiss. He breaks the kiss to look me straight in the eyes and tells me, “I’m about to make you feel so good, and I cannot wait to savor every drop that is a result of what I’m going to do to you.”

He slowly snakes his way down my chin and neck nibbling along the way. He gets to my chest, using the tip of his tongue to trace his way down between my breasts. He licks and nibbles on my tummy, stopping at my belly button, flicking his tongue in and out, and sucking. I start to moan with delight at the sensation. I need his mouth on my clit. My hands tangle in his hair and I start directing his head, trying desperately to push him lower, but he resists, wanting to make me wait for it. He pulls at my shoes first and them come off easily. Then he tugs on the ends of my pants and they come off with the action. He finally reaches up and pulls off my thong too. I am now completely naked for him. Looking completely satisfied with his work he smirks and goes back to kissing on my tummy and belly. After a minute he makes his way down to my lower half, inhaling deeply at my scent. By now my pussy is drenched, ready to be taken, ready to be claimed by him. He plants small sucking kisses around the perimeter of my clit, sending sparks of electricity all over me as he grazes my drenched pussy. He works his way closer, closer, and as I think he’s about to kiss on my clit, he pulls back a bit and breathes on my clit. I moan loudly almost screeching at the action. He’s teasing me. It is a bit annoying; I love the tease, the buildup, but at the same time I would love for him to just fuck me with his tongue and make me come as fast and hard as possible.

It seems like it takes every ounce of his self control not to dive into me and do just that. He works his way down one side of my pussy, as close to my opening as he can get. Firmly licking and sucking. He works his way toward the bottom and underneath my pussy, and like a magician, beckons more blood to my erogenous zone, he wants the sensations to be as intense as they possibly can. He then deliberately slows as he reaches the top, firmly pressing his tongue into me as he approaches my clit. Time seems to be in slow motion for me. I’m on fire and I need his mouth and tongue on me NOW!

Roman’s tongue seems to disappear under my clit’s hood, making direct contact and curling upward. Arching my back in absolute approval, I try to say “I love that” but all that comes out are moans. “Ooooh my Goood. Please don’t stop. Roman please.” Thrusting my hips into his face, I try to bury his face there. He starts kissing and sucking, flicking his tongue exactly on the spot I love. Im gushing for him, and the sounds of him consuming every drop only adds to my  excitement. My orgasm starts to build.

He seems to like the taste of me. It is a beautiful moment of sexual bliss. As he ravishes on my clit with his mouth, he slides two thick and solid fingers into me. Immediately I start to scream, “I’m going to come!! Can I come?!?! Please Ro I need to come!”

He slows his pace just a bit and says, “Not yet babe. Ride it out a bit longer. Don’t come yet.” I can barely hold my orgasm. I want to come and my body wants to give it to him. Roman increases his pace and intensity, making me peak once again. His fingers move in and out of me with a intensity only he could give. His mouth continues to suck and lick me. He buries his fingers inside of me deeper than before and when he comes back out, he curls them up, finding my g-spot.

“I HAVE to come, PLEEEEEEEEEASEEEEEEE!!” My body is on fire. I’m becoming feverish with the desire I have coursing through me I need to come. I don’t think I can hang on much longer. I’m shaking with the restraint I am using trying to stop my body’s reaction.

He pulls his fingers out as he replies to me. “Almost babe. I will tell you when you can come.” He buries his fingers in me again.This time he forcefully presses his fingers into my swollen g-spot, almost lifting my hips fully off the table. “Go ahead and come for me”, he demands in a rough and husky voice. I scream out and unleash the tsunami of pleasure that i held back and it drips down his arm and unto the table. I’ll have to remember to disinfect the table later. I clamp down on his fingers, locking them there, my contractions fill and ripple throughout my body. My back is fully arched and I am  rigid and fully under the spell of my orgasm, I can’t hear anything, see anything. I am utterly lost to the pleasure that is consuming me. I ride the waves. I can’t be bothered to come back down. Not when my body and mind are completely and utterly consumed. I don’t even realize I am screaming moans of delight as the orgasm works its way to the tips of my toes and bounces back to my pussy. He’s broken me. Ruined me for anyone else.

Originally posted by ambreignsasylum17

So @xiulayallday (Bree), @kpopandlock (Kara), and I were able to exist within 3ft of six EXO members due to a series of glorious coincidences that allowed us to run into Suho immediately upon entering Times Square. Which then led to this…

What follows is a pretty detailed account of the day and it’s a mess, but it’s all written exactly as I remember it and hopefully will allow you to feel exactly what I was feeling in those moments.

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Dear Journal,

Sirius was getting ready for the quidditch game as I watched him. He snuck me in the quidditch tent. I was examining his strong arms and shoulders under the fabric of his Gryffindor suit. I could tell he was nervous. His fingers were slightly shaking and he kept playing with his hair.

“Don’t be nervous baby..” i said, sitting next to him on the bench.

“I just don’t want to let them down..” he said.

“You won’t. I promise. If you feel nervous during the game, take a deep breath and tell yourself that you can do it. Okay babe?”

“Okay.. thanks.” He kissed my cheek and I blushed.

“Pads? Come on! The game is about to start!” James screamed from the outside of the tent.

Sirius took his bat and his broomstick in his shaky hands and I gave him a big hug.

“Goodluck baby. Don’t get yourself hurt!” I whispered in his ear, still holding him.

“I won’t.” He whispered back.

He then left to join the team and I went up the bleachers. There, i found Lily and the others dressed in their Gryffindor scarves and gloves. The game started and I couldn’t get my eyes off of Sirius. He sent me winks a few times during the game. I blushed everytime. He was really good. After 45 minutes, Gryffindor caught the snitch and won! Everyone was screaming and cheering. Sirius flew over to the bleachers and grabbed my face to kiss me.

“You were Fantastic babe!” I said.

“You think so?” He asked.

“Of course you were! You guys won the game! Now go celebrate with the boys, I’ll see you at the party.”

“I love you!” He gave me one last quick kiss and flew over to the team.

The Gryffindor common room was packed with people. The music was extremely loud and the air was steamy. People were drinking, laughing, snogging and dancing really close to each other. I was sitting on a couch with Lily, talking about a book She just read and i saw Sirius on the dance floor. He was dancing really close to a Slytherin boy. When I say close.. It means really close. He had a smirk on his lips and his shirt was slighlty unbuttoned. I tried to listen to what Lily was saying but I couldn’t get my eyes off of him.

“Re.. Are you even listening?” She said.

“What? Y-Yes.. yes I am..”

“You are not. What are you looking at like this?” She asked looking around.

When she spotted Sirius, her face went blank.

“Oh Remus.. Don’t worry.. You know how flirty he is..” she said, putting her hand on my shoulder.

“Yeah.. I just don’t like it..” i said looking down.

She continued talking and i kept sending glances at Sirius. The boy close to him was tanned and goodlooking. Compared to me, he looked like a god. His strong arms were too close to my boyfriend. His hands went to hold Sirius’ waist and the boy crashed his lips on Sirius. My boyfriend. He didn’t pull away. I stood up and ran to the bathroom, tears in my eyes. I slammed the door and let myself fall on the cold tiles of the floor. Tear of anger and sadness were running down my cheeks. I knew it would happen to me. I’m not hot! I’m not Muscular and i will never be! Maybe Lucius was right.. Maybe I was worth nothing. While I was sobbing, i heard knocks on the door.

“Go away…” i said between two sobs.

“Remus.. It’s not what It looks like babe..” Sirius said.

“It’s not what it looks like? You were kissing that boy! Go back to him! I’m sure he’s better than me!” I said, holding my head in my hands.

My heart was broken into small pieces. It hurted so much. I hugged my legs close to my chest. If i didn’t, i felt like i would fall apart. I then heard sobs. But they weren’t mine. They were Sirius’.

“Re.. I didn’t want him to kiss me.. Merlin he just took me off guard and I-I’m so sorry baby please open the door.. He’s not better than you.. please don’t say that baby.. I’m sorry remus please.. please..” he said, sobbing.

I didn’t respond. I heard a loud bang on the wall next to me.

“Please Re.. I’m so sorry.. I need you.. I-I fuck babe..”

Was he lying just to get me back? He wouldn’t do that. He would never. He cares. He loves me.

I oppened the door to find him in the same position i was in seconds ago. He was sobbing and breathing heavily for air. He punched the wall so hard that his knuckles were bloody. He turned his head and jumped in my arms.

“I’m so s-sorry Re.. I didn’t mean to.. I was shocked and.. and when He did I-I tried to push him but he was h-holding me so hard I c-couldn’t get away and.. and I pushed him.. b-but it was too late and..” he said sobbing.

He couldn’t finish his sentence he was on the ground again, trying to breathe. He was having a panick attack. I bent down next to him and layed my hand on his back.

“It’s okay Sirius.. I-I believe you.. breathe baby.. I forgive you… please breathe for me okay?” I said, tears still running down my cheeks.

“I-I’m s-sorry..”

“It’s okay.. breathe.. it’ll be alright..”

“I-I broke your heart.. I don’t deserve you to forgive m-me..” he cried.

“Shhh.. just breathe okay?”

He didn’t respond. He copied my breathing and eventually started to calm down.

“Y-You’re to good for me..” He said, tears in his eyes.

“No.. No i’m not.. that boy, he was goodlooking and i’m not..”

“Don’t say that! You are beautiful Re..”

He wipped away my tears and hugged me close. He had his fingers in my hair and his other hand on my back. My face was burried in his chest.

“I love you Remus. I love you and only you.” He whispered.

“Pads..”

“You don’t have to say it back.. I broke your heart, I don’t deserve it.” He said, his voice cracking.

“Pads.. I love you too.. Just don’t ever do that again.” I giggled through the tears.

“I won’t baby.. I promise you..”

We stayed like this for several minutes. He clenched his jaw. His knuckles were making him suffer, I could tell. I stood up and got the first-aid kit in the bathroom. It was the one they used after the full moon. I took the white gauze and a wet cloth to wipe the blood off of his skin. He was shaking.

“Babe it’s okay..” i said.

He looked at me with his red eyes and i caressed his soft and wet cheek. I put the gauze aroung his knuckles, trying not to hurt him. When I was done, he took my hand and walked to my bed. He sat me softly on the fluffy sheet and kissed my forehead.

“Goodnight Remus..”

“Aren’t you sleeping with me?” I asked, frowning.

“I just cheated on you.. I don’t deserve you baby..” he said, a single tear running on his left cheek.

“No! Stay! I thought I lost you tonight.. Stay with me please..” i said.

“I can’t tell you how sorry i feel babe..”

“Don’t. It was that guy who did it.. you didn’t know.. Let’s just put this all behind us okay?”

“Okay.. I love you so much Remus..”

“I love you too Sirius..”

He layed down next to me and hugged me against his chest. He had his two strong arms around me and he softly kissed my swollen lips.

“I love you.”

-Remus
February 12th 1976

The Foxhole Court, Chapter 11 – Orange Sportsball Gets The Fuck Real

In which the Foxes play their first match of the season, I have questions about American college sports, my Percy Jackson obsession has a brief cameo, and I’m sadly less excited about Actual Sportsball Games than I should be.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Foxhole Court.

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Jealousy (M)

Genre: Fluff & Smut

Length: 4,387 words★

Kinks: A bit of sexual sadism, Master! kink, impact play, etc.

Notes: y/c = your color~

Originally posted by zelonwonho

Kihyun had always been one of your best friends. You had known each other since high school, and were always practically inseparable. 

Well, you were, until recently. His friend, Wonho and you started having a thing. You weren’t in a relationship, but you two would occasionally hook up or go on date if you both felt lonely. 

And, with this thing you and Wonho had going on, it sort of disrupted your friendship with Kihyun. You had to constantly reschedule plans you two had, if Wonho wanted to go out, and other stuff like that. It always made you feel terrible, but every time you asked if he wanted to come with or just stay and hang out with you two, he’d refuse and just leave.

A few months passed since you and Wonho had your thing. It eventually evolved into the two of you dating, so that was a plus, since he treated you like royalty. Your friendship with Kihyun had improved, but you couldn’t help noticing how jealous and bitter he got when Wonho was around.

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Change Your Mind|(Fuckboy!Calum)

“How many girls have you slept with since this semster started?” I question which makes Calum’s eyebrows rise up in shock before nibbling on his bottom lip, his nose scunching up as he looks down at the ground before looking back up at me.

Originally posted by 5sos-memories

Words: 5000+ (i didn’t mean for this to be so long!!!)

Request: No

Rating: R

(inspired by this picture & caption xxx)


The smell of stale beer and weed was all that I smelt throughout the frat house, the pumping bass of some upbeat song blasted through the speakers of the living room just down the hall from where I am lying against a wall. The smacking of lips could be heard across from me as a blond and brunette boy are sucking each others faces off while both of their hands roam down south.

A sigh rolls through my lips as I bring the red solo cup to my mouth and take a sip of the fruit punch that I surprisingly found in the fridge of a frat house filled with boys. The taste of cherry burned on my tongue as I swiped my tongue along my bottom lip before retrieving my vibrating phone out my back pocket.

Don’t wait up for me!

Roamed across my screen as I see Chantelle’s name hang above the text with a purple heart emoji beside it. With a roll of my eyes and an annoyed groan tearing from my throat, I stuff my phone back into my pocket before bringing the fruit punch back up to my lips while taking my back off of the white wall sprayed with graffiti.

 I wonder what the point of Chantelle dragging me to this pathetic party was, when all she did was wander off right when we step foot into this dirty household. Yes, I do love her with all my heart but the stupid shit that she does just tremendously pisses me off.

“Well if it isn’t the beautiful girl that sits in front of me in film history,” I hear a voice say from in front of me, making my eyes tear away from the crimson colour liquid in my cup and look up at the boy in front of me. I roll my eyes before gently bitting down on the plastic of the cup.

Calum’s body was towering over mine in just a minute, the faint smell of his cologne and cigrettes lingered on his body as he takes another step towards me, pushing me into the wall that I just stepped away from. He wore a jet black long sleeve that visably shows his biceps, as his regular pair of black ruined denim jeans are glue to his legs like a second skin.

I gently bite down on my bottom lip while leaning my head side ways, my eyes running up and down his facial features that has a smirk written on his lips and a cocky glint in his eyes. “What do you want Calum.” I sigh out while looking at him unamused, the once flirty smirk wiped off his face as he looks at me surprised.

“Do I need to have a reason for talking to you?” Calum questions while cocking one of his thick eyebrows up on his forehead, his juicy bottom lip getting tucked between his teeth as he steps closer to me, my body leaning into the graffti sprayed wall as I feel his breath float around me.

“Uh, yeah.” I state while cocking my hip and leaning my head against the warm wall, my eyes flying to Calum’s rolled ones.

“I’m offended now,” Calum pouts while giving me puppy eyes, making me let out a bitter laugh before looking Calum up and down. “No but seriously, what do you want?” I ask, now watching Calum’s face set back into it’s natural state instead of bulging eyes and furrowed eyebrows.

“I was gonna ask you if you wanted to dance.” Calum says while sporting a charming smile and placing one of his hands out in front of me, which makes me scoff while shaking my head.

“First off, if you want to ask me to dance at least have proper grammer,” I say which makes Calum’s eyebrows rise before a smirk settles on his lips.

“I like when girls play hard to get, makes me want them even more.” Calum says while pushing his chest towards mine before peeling back, his tongue skiming along his bottom lip while flicking his eyes up and down my body.

“God everything they say about you is true.” I state while shaking my head and pushing myself off the wall, ready to get away from Calum and head back to my dorm. “Wait, What’s true, who said what about me?” Calum questions while grasping my wrist in his hand and turning towards me, a groan falling from my lips as I turn back around to look at Calum.

“Everybody, everybody says you’re a fuckboy Calum, and it’s true, you are one.” I say while tearing my arm out of his grip and placing it at my side while looking at Calum and I watch his eyebrows knot in confusion as a slight pout sets on his lip.

“I-I’m not a fuckboy, what the hell? You don’t believe them right?” Calum says while looking at me with concerning eyes, only making me roll mine.

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The Mission (Part 4)

So here is part 4 of the mission. Aunt May is my spirit animal, I totally believe she would react like this if Peter had a date. xD Things are starting to get twisted. Both Peter and Y/N are keeping secrets from one another, how will their story continue? I think that part 5 will contain some twist, not sure yet though, but for now enjoy Peter Parker wearing a cooking apron.xD

 

Y/N’s POV

 

“You are very observant” I laugh a little, “is it an issue?”

“Uhh…N-no, no problem at all” spiderboy replies nervously. Silence followed, very awkward silence.

“Very, well. So let’s get some business done. Shall we?” Tony Stark tried to break the ice.

Stark asked me questions about every imaginable thing, like from where I came from to my name and what I was doing here. I explained that I was from New York, but grew up under Tibetan influence and was taught the ancient art of sorcery. My name was Master Lhamo, named by the ancient one’s brother, Khar, who turned to the evil side. (Lhamo is known to be the goddess of time and fate in Tibet.) I told them about Khar’s past and how he has been trying to unleash what we call “the darkness”. Khar took most of the monks with him, joining the dark side leaving me being the only one left to have enough power to stop him, I took it as my destiny to prevent the world from this tremendous doom. He has been activating different portals all around the city. New York symbolizes the heart of our universe with the parallel ones, which meant that if the portals of the other dimensions were aligned to ours and the last portal of our universe were activated at the right time, darkness would swallow the world as we know it, killing every living thing.

During the entire interrogation I kept my face hidden under the huge hood, feeling protected. They couldn’t know my identity, not now and ever. But they did not seem to be bothered by it instead they listened to me carefully.

“However, why should we trust you?” spiderguy asked suspiciously

A grin spread on my face “I saved ‘your butt’ today, didn’t I?” The others laugh in response

“Listen, I know there is no reason to trust me, but you’ve seen what these guys are capable of and that was nothing. I came here today to help you guys out. It doesn’t matter how many you are, but if you don’t have anyone that knows how this sort of magic works, you are never going to win. I am here because I need your help too. I want to stop Khar, while I could be doing this alone I don’t think that I could be able to save all the people. At the end I’ll have to be the one ending Khar. Sorcery can only be destroyed by sorcery itself and every time two sorcerers fight with so called holly weapons only one will come alive and nothing else will kill them. Khar and I both are in possession of such a weapon. And I will end him, even, if it means that I die.”

Silence follows. No one says a word. Captain America gets up and so do I.

“We will help you, Lhamo. You can count on us.” He takes my hand and makes me a promise. My heart twists a little. I nod in response.

Soon I left the avenger’s tower and make my way home. As soon as I get to the next building I open a portal and land in my room. Taking my cape off, I’m left wearing my fighting gear. I open another portal that leads me to the temple. A figure is standing there with his back to me. I kneel on one knee.

“mission report” the man said

“they believed every single word” a smirk spreads on my face.

 

Peter’s POV

 

Well that was a real life plot twist I’d say. I never thought that the mystery guy would turn out to be a girl. Lying in my bed I thought about my day. I couldn’t fall asleep. My mind kept thinking and thinking. Eventually, thinking about Y/N is the last thing I remember and I drift off.

The sun light coming through the window woke me up. I open my eyes and check the time.

“FUCK”

I overslept. I got up and put some clothes on. I ran to the coffee shop around the corner and there she was sitting on a table studying something. She had that little wrinkle on her forehead we she was concentrated, which was kind of cute. I stood there like a total creep for a few seconds starring at her. My heart soon racing. She felt my gaze and looks up, a smile spreading on her beautiful face. My heart skips a beat. Shit. What am I feeling…

Y/N’s POV

 

Peter as always was late, but soon he arrived and we studied together. We had a blast, but something seemed off today. There was something in the way he looked at me that I felt all weird in my stomach. Must be the sandwich I ate yesterday. Anyway, after everything that happened yesterday, I was exhausted, but hanging out with Peter was just the thing I needed.

“What are you going to do later?”

“Actually, I have no plans for today”

“W-would you like to come over and watch a movie and maybe have some dinner…with me…?” he asks fidgeting

A slow smile spreads on my face. “Peter Parker, are you asking me to hang out as a friend or is this more like a date?” he blushes, his cheeks turning into an intense red. I giggle. He stammers.

“I’d love to come over, Peter” I smile warmly holding his hand. He stares at me in disbelief, which makes me laugh again. “Stop looking at me like that” this time it’s my turn to blush and he chuckles.

“Great, how about you come over at seven?”

After Peter left the café I went home to study a little more. The last few days have been hell with the whole mission thing and recruiting people for Khar all around the world. I haven’t been able to find some time for myself and school, so that’s why I had to catch up with some stuff. However, I didn’t seem to be able to concentrate long. My thoughts kept drifting back to Peter… Lately, we’ve been weird. We are friends, but I’ve been thinking if there might be more between us than just good old friendship and after he ‘kinda’ asked me out today I noticed that he might feel the same thing… Honestly, I do not want to have hope or anything maybe I’m just interpreting too much in it, since I’ve never really had a real friend, which means also no relationship. I’m sure of something though, I do not want to lose Peter… He means too much to me as a person and as a friend. I smile to myself. But when the time comes will I be able to follow Khar blindly, which means leaving Peter behind…My smile vanishes. But I push those thoughts away, it’s a question for my future self…

I start getting ready for my ‘date’. I decided to put a cute dress on since it’s summer and I wanted to make a good impression. Peter has never seen me in a dress before and I haven’t met his aunt yet either. So a dress seems a good choice it makes me look more presentable I guess… It’s in moments like these that I do wish my mom still lived or that I at least had a girlfriend. Anyway, I think that a white dress is really pretty for an occasion like this. I put some make up on and I’m almost done. I decide to put my mom’s necklace on… I’m standing in front of the mirror, but I do not seem to recognize myself. I touch my reflection but never leaving my eyes. I am a different person. I’ve never considered myself as pretty or beautiful, nevertheless, it’s the only word that comes into my mind by looking at myself right now. I smile weakly, what are you doing to me Peter Parker.

I packed by bag and was right about leave my apartment, when a portal opened revealing Khar.

“What the hell…!?”

“Going somewhere Y/N?” he eyes me

“Yes, why?” I stare back at him

“I have a mission for you. We need to recruit someone…tonight”

“I can’t, I am busy. Do it yourself Khar.” I turn around ready to leave him in the hallway, but he moves making no sound and takes my arm. It’s a warning. His grip is firm, almost dangerous.

He laughs in maniacal way. “What are you up to Y/N. You’ve been very distracted recently. Even incompetent. What’s the matter? You know you can talk to me… is it a guy?” an evil grin spreads on his face. Dark eyes meeting mine, I shiver. “we don’t want that something would happen to lover boy right?” he snarls. He lets go of my arm and leaves a bruise there. He opens up a portal and turns around… “I might pay a visit to this boy later, if you won’t cooperate. What’s his name again?… Something with P right?”

My blood freezes I form a fist with my right hand. He knows.

“P… Is it Peter?” He turns slightly to where I am standing and grins.

I want to punch a wall right now. This is not fair. Rage is boiling in me; I can feel how my stomach twists. I inhale deeply, but instead of making my way to Peter’s I turn around and follow Khar through the portal. Tears form in my eyes. I hate my life right now.

“I’ll do whatever you want, Khar. BUT you leave him out of this. Don’t you dare to touch him. You know that I am capable of a lot of nasty stuff and we do not want to meet that side of Y/N, right?”

he frowns slightly and smiles.

I take my phone out and text Peter:

Hey Peter,

I am so sorry, but I can’t come tonight. There was an emergency and I’ll be out of the city for a day or two. I hope you can forgive me. I was really looking forward for tonight. I’m sorry…

My heart breaks slightly while writing the message. Is this the way my life will always be? Is Khar going to control me forever. There is something that tells me that it is, but somehow I do have hope. Hope for a better future for me. Anyway, I need to push these thoughts away. Because there is nothing more dangerous than mixing Y/N’s and Lhamo’s lives up… That’s how I can handle this life. I keep these two persons apart. It’s the only way I can live with what I do for Khar. As Lhamo I only take orders, never question Khar, I just do what I have to do. However, lately I’ve been questioning a lot and Khar has taken notice. My life and Peter’s is in great danger now because of that. I don’t really care about my life, but I do care for Peter. He will not die under my watch, never. I am doing this to keep him safe. Because he will have a future, maybe not with me by his side, but he will live no matter what the cost.

 

Peter’s POV

I’ve been nervous for the ENTIRE day. As soon as I got home I started preparing everything for tonight. I cleaned the apartment and went for the groceries. Aunt May came home from work and was shocked to see the place clean and that I was trying to cook something.

“Why does it smell like burnt salad in here?”

“ha ha, aunt may, instead of standing there watching me struggle, you could help me out!”

I reply standing in the kitchen wearing a pink cooking apron with hearts. I look R.I.D.I.C.U.L.O.U.S.

Aunt May looks like she’s going to faint.

“peter, what are you doing!? Do you have a fever aren’t you feeling well honey?”

She comes into the kitchen checking my forehead and takes a good look at me as if I was a new discovered species.

“Y/N is coming over tonight” I explained looking away.

“YOU ASKED THE GIRL ON A DATE?! OH GOODNESS GREACIOUS! My little boy is getting older!” She leaped of joy. “You know what I’ll cook for you Peter, don’t you worry. She is going to love it! You go and do something else…” she hushed me out of the kitchen.

“But before you take that apron off…” I turn around, a flash blinds me for a second. “You look adorable in that, you should totally try to cook more or just in general wear that apron. Pink is totally your colour”.

“This is embarrassing.” I stated.

Going back into my room I change my clothes and try to relax a little. Y/N would be here soon. I honestly didn’t think she would agree. I wanted to hang with her like a casual hang out, she said it was a date, right? I’m thinking too much again. Shit. I lie down and check my phone. A new message from Y/N.

Hey Peter,

I am so sorry, but I can’t come tonight. There was an emergency and I’ll be out of the city for a day or two. I hope you can forgive me. I was really looking forward for tonight. I’m sorry…

I stare at it for a few minutes. My heart twists a little. She isn’t coming. I kind of like expected it. Maybe she thought about the whole date thing and freaked out… I take my phone and decide to reply.

Hey, I hope everything’s okay… *deletes message*

Hi, it’s okay *deletes message*

I make various attempts to write the right thing, but it’s hopeless everything sounds like shit. I finally decide to just write. A plain and simple “okay”. I press send.

Opening the door of my room I hear aunt May cooking and chanting along some song.

“Aunt May, you don’t need to cook for us anymore. She isn’t coming over.”

She turned around with worried eyes. “What? Why?” she replied worriedly. I showed her the text and lie on the couch. Exhausted and sad.

“I am so naïve. Why would anyone want to date someone like Peter Parker? I am a failure.” I sighed

“That is not true! Stop saying such stupid things!” she interjected, “Maybe it has something to do with a family member or friend… to me she seems genuinely sorry, peter. You should call her”

I look at aunt May, could she be right? Is Y/N in some sort of trouble, maybe something happened and she needs me.

Originally posted by captainamericacivilwhore

Originally posted by nymph-angel-baby

Originally posted by find-a-reaction-gif

lol this gif fits perfect to how peter feels in this part of the story. 

The Question

Prompt: reader daughter of Bruce being drunk for the first time, includes all the robins

Words: 1240


          Jason just stares at you, “How in the world is she this wasted?”

          Dick grunts a bit as you stumble. “Well, she doesn’t drink often. Now would you please help?”

          Jason moves forward to support your other side, before they begin slowly moving forward. Your body is not working like it should. Your feet won’t move like you tell them, everything is fuzzy, and your stomach won’t stop flipping.

          Dick and Jason are able to get you upstairs before you get sick. Throughout the night Dick and Jason take turns holding your hair and rubbing your back while you worship the porcelain god.  

          When you wake up in the morning your head is resting in someone’s lap. Pushing up with a good deal of pain, you stare up at Tim. You don’t remember him coming in during the night, but it makes sense. Jason and Dick both have jobs, and Tim was out of school for summer.

          He stirs as you sit up, “How are you?”

          You wince at the loudness, “Hurt. Loud.”

          He smiles, “I was speaking at a normal volume Y/N.”

          “How about now?”

          You watch him grin, and you resist the urge to punch him, simply because you know you’d miss him, and you don’t want to be in any more pain than you’re in now, “Now, I’m whispering.”

          “Bed.”

          He smiles. Instead of helping you stand he picks you up, and as he swings you upwards, you’re certain that if you had anything in your stomach you would have thrown it up. He places you gently on your bed, and like a worm you inch under the covers. And that’s pretty much the last thing you remember.

          You sleep for several hours, and the only reason you wake up is because you feel the bed dip. Pulling the covers back over your head, you stare at your father. He’s dressed in his work suit, and looking at you with sympathy. He whispers, “Open.”

          You look at him puzzled, before he points at his mouth. Following instruction, you open, and he puts two aspirin tablets on your tongue before handing you a bottle of water. You end up drinking the whole thing before sitting up.

          “I feel like the living dead.”

          Your dad smiles, “You look like the living dead.”

          Your brow furrows and you look behind him into the mirror hanging on the wall. You grimace. Your eyeshadow, eyeliner, and mascara have run, and smudged. You look like a raccoon. Groaning you lie back down and pull the covers over your head.

          Your dad lies down next to you, “What happened kid? You never drink.”

          “I was acting my age.”

          Bruce just smirks, “Most kids save binge drinking for their late teens, and early twenties. You, my daughter are twenty-five, and refused a drink on your twenty first birthday.”

          “You drilled the dangers of drinking into me at an early age. Shouldn’t you be proud of that?”

          “Y/N, what happened?”

          Taking a deep breath you tell him, “You remember that guy I was dating?”

          “The schmuck, who kept calling me sir?”

          You nod, “Yeah. Him. Well let’s just say I walked in on him giving his secretary an early Christmas bonus.”

          You watch your father’s face carefully for emotion. When he keeps it perfectly straight you realize just how mad he is. “And this led to my beautiful, brilliant, strong, independent daughter binge drinking why?”

          You give a not so jolly smile, “He stumbled out of his office with his pants around his ankles begging my forgiveness. When I kept walking he called me frigid, and a prude.” You watch your father’s hand grip your comforter. You can see the anger in his eyes, despite the passive look on his face.    

          “Needless to say I dumped his ass, and decided to go out for a drink. I guess I was out to prove something to myself.”

          You watch your father go stiff, “And how did you do that?”

          You grimace, “Threw back several shots, and danced on a bar.”

          “That’s it?”

          You hesitate, “I nearly exposed the secret. I was just about to tell everyone who Batman was, when someone pulled me off the bar and to the side. I was so plastered that no one took me seriously, I hope. He then kept me from doing anything else that would possibly embarrass me for life, he disappeared right before Dick came in.”

          Now that your brain is somewhat near functioning, you can’t help but find it strange. Your father stares at you, “You’re lucky he was there.”

          You nod, “I never should have gotten that drunk.”

          “For health reasons, yes.” You smile when he doesn’t give you a lecture. He knows you know that you screwed up. He also knows that it won’t happen again. You’re his daughter, he trusts you.

          You smile, “So what did the paper say this morning? No, let me guess, ‘Gotham Princess finally lets loose.’”

          Your dad smiles, “There was nothing in the paper.”

           “How did you manage that?”

          “I didn’t do anything. I didn’t even know you were hungover until I saw Dick throwing away your shoes.”

          You wince. Those shoes had walked through some pretty horrible things in that bar. You’d have to thank your brother later.

          Your dad just pats your knee, “Go back to sleep. Hopefully you’ll feel better when you wake up.”

          Snuggling back into your pillows you give him a smile, “You can’t kill him you know.”

          Your dad does his best to play innocent, “Kill who?”

          “The schmuck.”

          “I assure you, killing him never crossed my mind. In fact, I promise Batman won’t even go near him.” Too tired to argue semantics, you drift back to sleep.

          Several days later finds you in the Watchtower, tracking down Jason, for his signature for some papers at work.

          That’s when you hear his voice. Forgetting about your mission, you walk down the hallway to find him trying to explain something to another hero. When said hero just turns and walks away, you can’t help but scowl.

          Pushing off the wall you walk over to him. He kind of freezes at the sight of you, but you give him credit when he doesn’t run. Stopping about a foot away you smile, “So, now that I know what you look like under the mask, do I have to swear an oath of secrecy?” When he doesn’t say anything you falter for a second, and can’t help but think you got it wrong. But you continue on anyways.

          “Thank you for taking care of me that night. I’m sorry you had to burden yourself with my stupidity.” When he still doesn’t say anything, you turn to go.

          “You’re not stupid. You were hurt, and drank a bit too much. It happens to the best of us.”

          You smile and turn back towards him, “And the pictures.”

          “Pictures?”

          You blush, “Of me dancing on the bar?”

          He shrugs, “Sometimes phones just delete stuff, or uploads are disrupted.”

          You walk a bit closer, stopping right in front of him, you raise your hand and let your fingers drift over the faceless mask, “Personally, I like you better without the mask.”

          He just shrugs, “Secret identity and all that.”

          You go up on your toes and kiss his cheek, “I’ll see you around Question.”

          He clears his throat, “You can call me Vic.”

          You smile, “See you around Vic.”

Fan fiction: Proper Ventilation

Proper Ventilation

By: Shantelle, SheWhoFacesTheSun

The Get Down Fanfiction

Pairing: Dizzee x Thor

Word Count: 6,138

 

Part 1

Summary: Dizzee explores his inner world on his way to meet Thor.

Blistering sunshine and city noise poured though the window as Dizzee Kipling rolled over in bed, the sheets sticking to his skin. Opening his eyes slowly and gently, he faced a new day. The sun heated his chest, seeming to light him a flame with an itching burning, energy. Down the street the sound of drums and tambourines echo loudly between the tall buildings and dirty stairwells.

Man, drum beats in the air this early and it throbs my heart in time to it, thinks Dizzee to himself as he squints, trying hard to study his unchipped nails, the polish glinting in the new angles.

 “Dizzee? Dizzee, are you awake man?” comes Ra Ra’s voice from the narrow hall, “Mom made breakfast. You better hurry up if you want some.”  

Dizzee lazily pulled himself from the damp sheets, reaching up to tug at clumps of his kinky afro. He catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror and smiles. His lips still managing to appear pouting despite his grin and rosy cheeks. Shaking his head, he dresses quickly, trading his sweaty night clothes for his striped bell bottoms and a wine colored fitted muscle shirt. Standing at full height, he slips on several beaded and corded bracelets, a ring and his two favorite necklaces.

 After a quick stop to the bathroom, and feeling mildly refreshed, Dizzee sits down at the already full table. He trades smiles with his little brother Boo Boo, who has a face full of eggs. “What’s up brother?”, he asks with a glint in his eyes, “Get enough sleep?”

Ra-Ra looks up, and nudges his shoulder, “Stop Boo, leave him alone. It’s too early.”

“Nah, he had a late night too. I wanna hear more about this Thor guy,” Boo said, his eyebrows bouncing obnoxiously, clearly betraying serious his interest, even though his voice is still light.  “Is he nice?”

“I said leave it,” answers Ra, looking Dizzee in his eyes and noticing his big brother let out a sigh of relief. Even Yolanda glanced over at his sharp tone. Picking up his fork, Dizzee looks around the bustling room, enjoying feeling of fondness and affection that blossomed in his stomach. Yolanda shimmied in her seat as their dad crooned an old song to her from his place at the head of the table.

“You girls are coming up so quick. I can’t believe it. This Jackie man, he’s good? That good?” Dad questions, his deep voice sounding jazzy, although his words were straight forward.

“Yes Dad! Of course he is. I told you we gonna be big disco stars! We’ve been practicing so hard. Its like it’s meant to be. Mylene was right,” Yolanda responds. Her hair seeming to vibrate with excitement.

“Cool it girl, I believe ya. My babies all have talent. Look at me,” He gestures grandly to himself, then tapped a beat out on the table top, “I’m simply magnificent myself, why wouldn’t you be, Sunshine? Look around, we’re all stars! Even Boo Boo.”

“Hey! I’m the funny one. With the quickest hands on the block,” Boo jeers, pretending to hit a punching bag above his messy plate. “You need to be ready to keep hittin’ them books when school starts back up,” Dad yells with a cool smirk painting its way across his face.

Mom smiles to herself too, as he turns back and continued sing-talking to Yolanda. Ra Ra rolls up his current comic and finally digs into his pancakes. Dizzee can’t help but think of his family as mosaic of color and sound. Zeke was right to compare the Get Down Brothers to different instruments. Everyone has beautiful unique sound. And what is sound without color, in a section of the world this clouded with darkness, fear and temptation?

“What do you boys have planned for today?” Mom asks, slipping into her own seat.

“Well Ma, since you asked so kindly,” starts Ra Ra, as he tapped his rolled up comic book on his skinny thigh, “I’m going to chill with Shaolin and see if we can come up with some kind of business plan for the Get Down Brothers now that he’s been given the clear to deejay again.” Ra liked Shao but wasn’t too sure Shao liked him or his brothers. He was determined to find out and make some money in the progress. Ra Ra understood great teams didn’t just form strong bonds instantly, not even in comics, but he wanted to see how far they could grow in this city of broken dreams and concrete hearts.

“I’mma go down to the arcades, win myself enough tickets for some candy and meet myself a fly girl,” he chuckles loudly to himself, rubbing his hands together. “Whatever Boo, no girl want you. Take some time this summer to focus on growing,” Yolanda wise cracked before sipping her orange juice. Ra Ra stifled a chuckle while passing Dizzee the tray of cooling bacon.

“Its cool Boo,” starts Dizzee in a mellow tone, “You might be small. But you’re not small. Hear this man, you are the universe in delirious undulation. You flow.” 

 Boo Boo stares, then blinks and shakes his head laughing. “You weird. If you mean I’m flier than Michael Jackson, I can dig it.” Ra Ra smiles, turning the page of his book adding in, “Good weird my man, the best kind of weird. Its like your super power Dizz.”

Dizzee glanced at his brothers, spacing out a bit. Everyone is always calling me weird. They are always laughing at me, he thinks to himself, but I’m just trying to think deeply for all of us. We are all but fireworks in this great universe. I am reaching for new treasure in daily life, using words to spread love and become art. Life is art. Right? Maybe my mind is just flying freely, fearlessly. He takes a long sip of his warming orange juice.

“Dizzee? Dizzee?” enters his mother’s voice through the hazy fog of his thoughts. “Yeah?”

“I asked what you were going to doing today? I don’t want you getting into any more trouble. I want my babies safe. This summer has already had its fair share of madness.”

 His mother face was soft with worry and gentleness. Dizzee loved his mother. They both carried tender spaces within them and saw opportunities for creativity when others saw only ruins. Like the moon, they both went through phases. And in the darkness of night and the overwhelming brokenness of this metropolis, people just mistook it for weakness.

 “Uh, I’m just gonna chill at The Writer’s Bench and walk around a little.”

“Just walk around he says,” injects Dad, “Don’t believe that for a hot minute. Don’t be spraying all over the city. Keep them hands clean boy.”

Dizzee looks down briefly before saying, “I won’t. I told you I’m into pop art now.”

Everyone began to clear the table and walk their dishes over to the sink. “Yo, Dizz, you really going to The Bench?” whispers Ra as they start rinsing their plates off shoulder to shoulder.

 “Yeah, Thor wants to meet back up so we can plan a piece together.” Ra looks out of the corner of his eye, skeptical. “Really? I don’t want to be in all in your business man but,” he pauses, “forget it. I just want you to be yourself.” Ra may always have his nose in a book but he’s rarely out of the loop, and is always looking for hints in the world around him. For him life is a comic book and we’re all discovering our powers, second by second. He refuses to miss any of character development.

 “Honestly man, fuck. Reason is powerless in the face of…,” Dizzee trails off, staring out the window into the bright blue sky. Ra Ra examines his face intensely, then looks away. “Do yo thing. Good luck on your next piece. I’ll see you later.” Ra steps back and dries his hands on the towel near the windowsill, slapping Dizzee’s shoulders before walking back to his room. Dizzee stands alone in the empty kitchen, soaking in the residual energy of every member of his family. He feels full but he also feels empty. It’s like there was a hollow space inside of him. He feels emotion pass though it, briefly sustaining him, but never satisfying him as deeply as he instinctually knows it should. Picking up the same old towel, Dizzee dries his hands, noticing his polish chipping off in smooth pieces. He immediately experiences the loss.

 Stopping in the small living room to grab his messenger bag, checking for his sketch books, LSD tabs, drawing markers and graphite pencils. I’ve got all that I need right here, he thinks as he slips quietly out the door, making sure it’s locked tight.

The hallway is much dimmer than his home was, and it feels chilled in the darkness. Walking gracefully, Dizzee shoves his hands into his pockets and starts down the stairs. Seen and unseen. Moving and unmoving. I am that, he thinks as his feet pound out a fast cadence. “Should I take this trip now?” questions his voice within him. He stops in the doorway to the street, and pulls out a tab of LSD and slips it into his mouth. He wonders only for a moment if he looks like a young brown god savoring the moment before taking an offered delicacy, and tastes his own finger tips as it starts to dissolve.

Dizzee sighs, feeling his conscious self relax and release with his measured exhale. Time to run from all which is comfortable. Forget safety. From this point on I’ll be a little mad, whispers his mind again.

The sunshine again lights Dizzee’s skin with fever, as he breezed from darkened hallway of his building. Gingerly swinging his arms in time to his heart beat and foot falls, Dizzee took off down the side walk, noticing the slow shift of color saturations as he traveled. Grays melted into whites. The varying shades of Bronx browns and blacks shimmer and glitter. The noisy voices of people and machinery ebbed and flowed with his focus. It’s like he could flip in between many invisible lens as his head turned back and forth.

Several minutes into his journey Dizzee’s mind takes notice of the moisture gathering in his top lip. Stopping at the cross walk, he slips his tongue out sensuously, and samples himself. Behind his eyes he imagines Thor, his own vigilant suitor, dancing in the afterglow of their kiss. The very ozone around them was so tight and high with their nervousness and delight. They were drunk on each other. A harsh push from behind almost sent him to the dirty ground.

“Hey faggot, some of us got places to be!” The shout comes a man, built of narrow bones and thin, rigid muscles. He was completely decked out in red checked pants and a tight brown printed button up. His eyes were completely blocked by large, dark sunglasses. For a second, Dizzee stops breathing. His head snaps around and his eyes darken with grief before he puts on a cordial smile.

“Hey man. It’s all cool. It’s all cool,” he countered. The older man wipes his hands on his pants and swerves around him smoothly.

Dizzee’s feet move lethargically, as the sheen of tears forced him to blink. If only this hot place could speak with the language of love. But it’s too much of a slaughterhouse to hearts like mine, he thinks to himself as he carries forward to the subway. How can I fly if I’m always picking myself up and need patch my own wings?

Again, Dizzee enter the darkness, leaving the sunshine hanging between the horizon and the Bronx’s smog painted skyline.

Like an unnatural cave, the subway station smells of urine, trash and the pungent funk of sweaty, sour bodies. He could feel the odor crawling over his still warm flesh, cementing itself to his clothes like expired perfume. His lungs struggled to expand as the sounds fluctuated in intensity around him. The clicking of a woman’s heels stood out first, like shrill punctuation. He could see the sound. It was red and bloody and mature. He could hear the swoosh of the doors opening, suddenly reminding him that he had some were to be. The counterfeit lightning flickered above, making Dizzee picture the ceiling being filled with fireflies and dimming flashbulbs.

For an instant he could feel his jaw slacken and his body calm before he came back to into himself. His bag bounced against his hip as he slipped deeper into the crowds. As Dizzee weaved with confidence through the tightly paced space, the dark stains on the ground swirled into lively pastel colors between the feet of his fellow patrons. In the empty space across the tracks Dizzee could see what looked like steam curling up from the railways. The graffiti on the pillars wiggled, jerked and twitched whenever Dizzee glanced their way. He felt less like himself but he could appreciate his world without judgment. He easily pictured himself as an alien among a new species, like shades of himself, walking across the surface of his consciousness. Dizzee pulled a thick marker out his bag, and rolled it in between his palms. It helped him think.

“To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man,” yells a homeless man, wearing grungy khaki pants and a large cross pendent, laid out beside a pillar. Dizzee examines his face, noticing how his wrinkles appear to thaw like ice cream and slip into a younger mask, one lacking pain and weariness. Looking to his left, he spots a couple trying to discover each other with hands, eyes and finger tips. The two were are molded to each other like wet clay. With every second, they appeared to grow big and bigger until he finally walked toward them, passing silently, only for them to expand in details before they started to shrink back down to nothing but star dust and ash.

Every thing around him seemed to slow down, and pulse, as his train came into the station. His breath stops. When the doors slid open, and he immediately sees himself reflected in the scratched up windows. He looked sad. His faced shifting and appeared to liquefy then suddenly snap back into shape. Shaking his head, he stepped on. Looking around he found an empty seat and leaned back, happy to feel the cool metal and plastic against his skin.

The train wasn’t too crowed and the chatter of the passengers wasn’t too loud. The inside of the car was coated with thick lines of graffiti. Bubble letters and sharp words were stacked on top of each other, overlapping and dancing on the walls. Dizzee watched them. There was a pale girl sitting across from him. Her thick unruly hair was pulled into a side pony tail, and sprinkled with steel gray bobby pins. Dizzee noticed that the cover of her book was in Spanish.

He secretly admired the shapeliness of her thighs in her bellbottoms, and wondered if they were soft and doughy in the tight denim. Farther down, a group of kids laughed and joked, poking each other and sliding in the seats. Laughter is so pure, he thinks, giggling to himself. One kid split off from the group, walking over to Dizzee.

“Hey, wanna piece of candy? We got extra,” he says. The boy looked older than his friends, about 10 or 11 years old. He wore a pair of bright white knee socks and a too-small tee shirt.

“Yeah, little man. I’ll take a piece. Thanks,” answers Dizzee, as a Sugar Daddy sucker fell into his palm. The boy reaches out and pats Dizzee’s large afro.

The boy nods his head, like he’s agreeing with himself about something and grins, bopping back to his friends. Dizzee looked down at the candy, studying the waxy paper like it held the answers to the universe. Opening it slowly, he relished the sugary smell of the caramel. He leisurely put it in his mouth. It tasted like the sweetest thing in the entire world and it was like time slowed down, allowing him to apprise the different textures of the treat. He could feel his tongue and cheeks maneuvering over the thin layer sticking to his molars, and with great effort, he felt it release and get pushed to the back of his mouth.

The train continued to move for what felt like hours. Reaching into his bag, Dizzee pulled out his sketch book. Unlike the one for his signatures, it was worn around the edges and the cover was held on with thick strips of duct tape. He flipped past Rumi quotes, original poems, and realistic portraits. His brothers have only see his train burners. He would never expose them to his realer stuff, fearing critique and laughter. People prefer you exist as they have always expected you too, never stepping out of those lines, he thinks.

He pauses on the parts were pages have been ripped out. Those are the one he tries to hide even from himself, tucking them away in the attic with his cans of Krylon, waiting until the day he felt brave enough to see those thoughts in the light of day.

Dizzee pulls out a box of pencils a starts to sketch, his lines fine and delicate. Inside of him lies a door that he keeps locked. He starts to draw the alien in the top hat, feeling the shallow grooves in the paper were the pulp dried loosely. What is it you fear the most, he asks himself quietly? Rejection? Reality? Don’t they say the truth will set you free? What is my truth? I don’t have the answer to that yet for I am but a pilgrim still, he finishes.

The intercom crackles with static. A grainy voice announces Dizzee’s stop as next. Quickly placing his things back in his bag, Dizzee stands ready to pass the threshold. Looking around the car one more time, he casts his gaze toward the girl and the kids and the wiggling graffiti. His face appears vacant. The doors slide open and he moves forward. Swoosh.

The platform was bustling with people but Dizzee ignored them and headed for the stairs. Exiting the tunnel, he could smell rain and steam. The sky was still bright blue, but the ground was littered with wet trash and oily puddles. Each puddle is made of a thousand rain drops, each one holds a story of its journey, he thought, staring down as he walked. The sounds of passing cars pulled him out of his thoughts once again. On a small stoop he spots a beautiful couple kissing. They were both so beautiful, and intriguing. The woman had long, thick dreadlocks, and wore a loose lavender sundress. The man had dark cocoa brown skin that appeared to glowed in the light. He was all hard lines and tough muscles. She was soft, supple and yearning. Her feet were bare, and her toes were painted a cool shade of turquoise.

Could I hold her like that? Would she lay, soft sides exposed in my arms? What does she smell like, paprika and chocolate or sugar cane and lemonade? I would love to feel her nimble fingers rooming through my kinky curls, he thinks. Suddenly his focus shifts.

What if I was her, he thinks, his chest tight with apprehension. Would he feel just as solid as he looks? My hands would pass gently over his swollen arms and come to rest on the nape of his neck. Would his mustache tickle? Would I enjoy the texture of his chest hair against my own body?

Dizzee looks away suddenly feeling ashamed of himself. These are the thoughts he tries to purge onto paper and put under lock and key. But maybe they aren’t bad thoughts. Maybe they are just a different side of himself, a side that has always been there. Like the shadow behind his smiles, it’s just a part of him that he doesn’t quite know yet.

Dizzee keeps walking, priding himself on only looking back at the beautiful couple once. The giver or the receiver. He could be both with ease. He would fit either role. He could trade places with many characters of love. Again, he thinks of Thor and breaths deeply.

Dizzee continues walking, and decides to cut through a small park on a whim. Any park in this city is a splendid oasis. It’s a break from the stone and steel. This particular park had several wide flower beds, smelling of pollen and infatuation. He saw pansies, daisies, rose bushes and many brightly colored tulips. Their petals were perky and healthy despite the intense heat of the summer. He walked unhurriedly through the greenery. Here he felt at peace. Unbound by his name, free from his sadness, and time.

A bee drifts into his line of sight and steals his attention. Dizzee’s mind split then, into a thousand multicolored fragments. Linking and unlinking, as the bee drifted to a daffodil. The flower had a masculine face, and the bee kissed its way down the style in the middle. Dizzee kneeled down on the path, waiting for it to emerge. When it did, it was covered in dusty, yellow powder. The bee danced and shook happily, bouncing back into the humid air. Dizzee followed its journey closely, still kneeling. The bee took off toward a daisy. This time its face was lady-like, and landed gently on its cheeks. The bee kissed this one too. The yellow dust sticking to it again, thick and bright.

Here in this garden, Dizzee accepted himself. He was like a bee. I have seen your descent, dear garden bee, he spoke to himself, now I will watch you rising, for love is like a water. Who decided if the pond or the river is more fit to taste? Men. Women. Men. Women. Men. Both. Feelings.

Dizzee grinned and continued walking through the twisting path. Eventually the foliage gave way to the hard concrete of the city. Back on the sidewalk, Dizzee continued toward The Writer’s Bench. He past several store fronts. Some of the signs painted in windows, and others were brightly printed on cloth. Trash stuck in wet, ugly clumps in the gutter. He was passing a window that had posters advertising hair products when he noticed a panel of vivid colors. Nail polish.

Glancing down at his hands and saw that almost all of his was gone. Dizzee’s own blank nails were pale, even ovals. Why not start over, he thought to himself, opening the door.

The space wasn’t very big, but it was packed full of inventory. Dizzee’s eyes skimmed over the many shelves and counters. He was impressed. It was like any art store, but instead of walls and canvas, they focused on bodies and hairstyle. Walking down the narrow isles he swept his finger tips over the stiff bottles and small jars.

“Hey honey, you lookin’ to buy? Or to browse?” came a rich voice from the back. Dizzee nearly jumped out of his skin. In the back isle, on a small wooden step ladder, stood a gorgeous man. Not beautiful in the way Dizzee had been uncovering, but in the conventional way women were. The man was tall and slender, like a dancer. His skin was a reddish brown and enhanced by tastefully applied cosmetics. Dizzee loved that his hair was stretched into lovely corkscrew coils down past his shoulders.

“Uh, I’m just looking around man,” Dizzee answered, try hard to make his voice sound relaxed.

The stunning man stepped down, spreading his arms flamboyantly.

“Welcome to the Beauty Emporium, a place that nurtures beauty, style and grace in every member of the human race,” he rhymed. This dynamic, showy man was amazing.  He sauntered toward Dizzee. The store was currently empty, so Dizzee was his only audience.

“Well, Honey, what are you looking for today?” he questioned. Dizzee stood awkwardly, feeling a mixture of fear and fascination, much like he did in the art gallery party nights ago. He held his bare nails up, shifting his messenger bag to his left shoulder.

“My hands are my tools, and I come here seeking an expression of new beginnings,” he answered, his voice cracking a bit.

The man walked until he stood in front of Dizzee, gently grabbing his hands. He turned them this way, and that several times.

“Honey, you are indeed a little work of art. You must be searching for some color in a world that’s not always so bright,” he finally said, taking in Dizzee’s androgynous features and clear complexion.

Dizzee rarely met people that understood exactly what he meant, and in such a short interaction.

“My name is Eugene,” said, letting go of Dizzee’s hands. He turned and walked behind another small counter. Eugene bent down and pulled out several glass bottles of polish and a smaller version of the chart in the window.

“I’m Dizzee.”

“I’m pleased to make your acquaintance Mr. Dizzee,” responded Eugene. “Take a look at this chart and see what catches your eye. Have you worn nail polish before?” the question standing out over the closing and opening of several drawers.

Dizzee stepped up to the glass counter and looked over the chart closely. “Um, only once? Is that okay? I mean I’m…,” Eugene had been watching him closely from the corner of his eyes and cut him off with a practiced eases.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to clarify,” Eugene said, shaking several of the little bottles jammed between his long fingers, much like Dizzee would rattle up his spray paints.

“We are all free to try out new things, or keep a single routine.” Eugene gestured to himself.

“You know, give the people something to look up to. I personally like to switch it up and keep it fresh. I like not being what people expect,” he proclaimed tugging on his dangling earrings with a smile. Eugene seats himself on a stool behind the counter, and does a little spin, chuckling.

Dizzee stared in awe. This soul is here for its own joy, he thought, and finally allows himself to unwind. “Yeah, that’s exactly how I try to be in my art. I spray all city, praying to uplift the people looking for the beauty in the insanity.”

“Graffiti? How fascinating. What are your favorite colors?” Dizzee considered his options, looking up from the chart, pointing to red, blue, and green.

“I wear these colors the most,” he answered. Eugene meet his eyes. “I thought this was about new beginnings. Why keep repeating the same old thing?”

Dizzee thought about Thor, the art party, and the bee. He thought about the alien in the top hat, his buttons and patches. He thought about boundaries, boxes and freedom. Finally, after what felt like years, he looked at Eugene. Brown eyes meeting, finely lined browner eyes.

“I think I’d like to wear yellow or purple,” he answers.

Eugene flips his curly hair, and undoes the top two buttons of gray and white flannel. “As an entertainer myself, I must ask that we go a little fancier. Your hands shall put on a show, a personal spectacle. I have Glittering Gold and Spirited Plum. Give me your hands love.” The names were a little showier than the actual merchandise but the names did make Dizzee smile.

Dizzee rested his hands out flat on the counter, and Eugene started painting. The store was still quiet but the sounds of the street crept in, muffled and subdued. The shop smelled like his mother, warm and comforting. The hum of the countertop fan was relaxing as well. Eugene seemed to understand that Dizzee was lost in thought and embraced the silence as well. Dizzee thought the polish smelled stronger than his aerosols. On trains Dizzee was free to spread his thoughts across the city without opening his mouth. There he was a living myth. When his trains pass, he feels accomplished and could breathe easy. His nails made him brave, and these colors made him feel beautiful too. Men. Women. Those tried of being what people expected them to always be. They should brave, beautiful and free.

“Now, sit with me for a few minutes and let these little beauties dry. I don’t want you rushing back into the streets and messing up all my good work,” Eugene said, capping the polishes.

“If I may be so forward,” Eugene asks with a smirk and twirl in his seat, “What else are you exploring today, besides new colors?”

Dizzee had hopped up on the counter, letting the artificial breeze from the fan cool his sweating face and was surprised to hear another question come his way. Thinking, he flexed his hands, observing how his thin tendons rolled beneath his tawny skin.

“I think I’m on a journey. I haven’t left the city limits, not physically any way, but my spirit is soaring to new heights. I met somebody. This somebody,” Dizzee pauses to sigh, “they make me want to be more than I thought I could ever be. And it’s new and scary and infinitely magnificent all at once.” Dizzee’s eyes began to water and he felt several tears dribble down his cheeks. Eugene leaned beside him, and reached one hand up, cupping Dizzee’s cheek. Using his manicured fingers, Eugene lightly he wiped away the tears.

Eugene shook his head. “Oh Dizzee. You poor, innocent thing. You’re just finding your wings. I know you are afraid. But when we come into this world, we are meant to learn. We don’t come out the womb complete and all knowing; otherwise, what’s the point? I’m going to try and meet you where you are.”

Dizzee wiped his nose on his wrist and sniffled, carful not to pull on his bracelets too much.

Eugene pulled Dizzee into a hug, then started pacing in the small space behind the counter.

“You can be driven by fear or by love. I want you to continue to embrace life, be art and love yourself. You are already beautiful. You are already at your destination because you’re where you are supposed to be. Don’t put any ideas on a pedestal or crawl through the world on your knees, hiding the parts of you that are Glittering Gold in the shadows. You should bloom, Dizzee. You do not need to earn freedom. Just breath and shed tears of healing, not fear.”

Dizzee looked a Eugene like he was preaching the gospel. This man was a beautiful angel. Dizzee understood that Eugene was different, different like birds of the art show party, that kind of different. Dizzee saw a light in this man, that also glowed in himself. And that was great thing.

He who cannot discover himself, cannot discover the world, Dizzee thought to himself. The two of them shared this moment, acknowledging the depth of their conversation with smiles. They shared a synchronized inhale and exhale, allowing their emotions to settle without force.

Dizzee looked again at his nails. Glittering Gold and Spirited Plum. New beginnings. New wings. Freedom to breath and just be. Dizzee could do that. He could see himself as the light, not just in it.

 

“Hey man, that was really deep. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest,” Dizzee says, watching Eugene as he straightened up one of the messier shelves. Dizzee rarely tells people how he feels, preferring to keep things to himself.

“That’s good to hear honey. I know we just met but I’m glad I could but you at ease,” Eugene answered. Eugene, too felt much lighter knowing his words helped somebody.

“Now come here. Let’s see if them nails are dry. It usually takes longer because of the humidity, but we’ll find out together.” Dizzee hops down, careful to hold his hands way from his body. Eugene, again, takes Dizzee’s hands in his, turning them over and holding them toward the light.

“Well, honey, their all dry. I won’t keep you much longer but I do want to give you some free samples,” Eugen says as he steps back behind the counter, this time walking closer to the register.

“Oh no that’s okay. I have money to pay,” Dizzee starts, reaching into his pockets for the few dollars he kept on him. He was happy the the colors they’d chosen, and looked forward to coming back for more.

“It’s fine honey. Think of it as my treat, from one artist to another,” Eugen replies with another secret smile, “And hopefully, I’ve also made you into a new regular Mr. Dizzee.”

“Definitely,” Dizzee answered. Eugene pulled out a small red bag and put in five small bottles of nail polish. They clinked and clacked together as they were passed over to Dizzee, who accepted them with an easy grin. My spirit is opening a new door, he thought, and what if the wall is an illusion?

Eugene pulled Dizzee into a quick hug and walked him over to the door. “Don’t be afraid to come back Dizzee.”

“I look forward to it,” replied Dizzee, stepping out the door. The hanging bell rang behind him.

The street was just as busy as it was when he entered the Beauty Emporium, but Dizzee barely noticed as he continued his walk toward The Writer’s Bench. The tab of LSD was losing its effect but Dizzee continued to notice the roses among the figurative thorns of the Bronx. Women gather in small groups, gossiping and laughing. They had wide smiles and sparkling eyes. Kids splashed joyfully in the cold spray of an open hydrant. They were all soaking wet, slipping and dipping, and their curls were kinking almost instantly. Dizzee smiled and ran though the spray, playful waving his hands in the air. He truly felt his sadness being washed away.

After a few more minutes, Dizzee started to descended the stairs into subway. He traded hellos and hand shakes with a few guys chilling on the dirty steps. They were the keepers of the gates. They were an eccentric group archangels with nothing better to do, especially now that school was out. They watched for any police coming to harass suspected writers. The best look outs.

The subway here was still dirty, the most common colors being brown and gray in the dim light but the artist managed to be pinpoints of color. They each had spirited personalities. They all had something to share or to prove in this area that feed on the dreams of it youth. As Dizzee approached the bench he held his breath. These were his compatriots in the ongoing creative struggle. Yet, with them I still feel alone, Dizzee thinks.

The Writer’s Bench was buzzing with conversation. Kids were discussing the importance of color and how certain textures effect its shine. The older artists were talking about the legal crack down on those that carry the Krylon cans. Each voice was full of emotion. Dizzee learned so much here. It’s here that we create our own purpose, he thinks.

“Aye, Rumi. What’s up man? I thought you had gone ghost,” said Crash, standing to exchange a hand shake with Dizzee. Crash was a cool white guy with a great style. And were there was Crash, his friend Daze wasn’t far way. To many artists they were known as the Chill 2. Unlike Dizzee, they didn’t spray all city, instead choose to focus on claiming the Bronx and Manhattan as main their street galleries. Dizzee loved that they were a harmonizing team of bright paints, bubble letters and wild style.

“Nah man, just working on some new ideas,” answered Dizzee, swinging his bag over his shoulder and sitting down. The wood of The Writer’s Bench was engraved with the names of its most regular visitors, curse words and boughs. Dizzee ran his fingers over the chiseled grooves, imagining the tools that made them. Pens. Knifes. Razor Blades. Pencils. Your weapon of choice reflects a bit of who you were, Dizzee thought.

“Mind sharing what you’re planning? We saw that last burner you put out. Pure greatness,” Daze said. Daze pushed his glasses up his nose. His brown skin appeared dewy in the heat of the subway station.

Dizzee took in their excited expressions, trying to decide if he should tell them the truth or a beautiful lie.  

Blabbermouth (Jimin | Fluff)

Prompt source: Daily AU Prompts

Masterlist

Member: Park Jimin

Genre: Summer Fluff

Words: 1.498 (Drabble)

Summary: Wow, um. When I told you your shirt was inside out I didn’t expect you to take it off and fix it right here in front of me. Excuse me while I pass out because of your hotness.

N/A: This was pretty fun to do!

Originally posted by jitamin

Summer in Los Angeles is like going to a sauna in hell. You can fucking imagine. I mean, I’ve been living here my whole life, so you can take my word. It gets really hot.

Each and every new summer season I feel like my body will melt against the pavement whenever I abandon the safety of my house –and the air conditioned that inhabits there and that I call Bobo. Don’t ask why. Never.

You live right next to the beach, so cool.’ They said. ‘It’s not that hot, you are overreacting.’ They said.

Well, let me tell you that those empty statements are not precisely helping me while I wait in an outrageously long queue outside a new coffee shop. We have exactly fifteen hipsters in front of us –They are fifteen, I swear, I counted them– that are waiting patiently for their iced coffee while this sun of justice hits me on the face with all its power. Which is quite a lot.

Keep reading

Snowbaz Dictionary

(concept from A Lover’s Dictionary by David Levithan) (also slightly inspired by @carryon-simonsnow’s An Encyclopedia of Simon and Baz kisses)

a/n: Hey, there. Merry Christmas! Hope you’re doing well and that you’re having a wonderful holiday season! So, about halfway through the writing process it came to my attention that I’d been writing about Simon as if he didn’t have a tail and two wings. I ran out of time to fix it, and I’m so sorry, but otherwise, I hope you enjoy it!

                        -fuxkbaz


alabaster / noun, adjective

        His fingers play over my skin like I am his instrument. His lips are flames and they’re biting at my neck and jaw. Baz likes to do this - focus on the spots that he knows he’ll get a reaction from. (ie. the spot under my left ear). He moves his mouth back up to mine.

        His breathing is hard and fast, and he’s pushing hard into the kiss. My hands crawl down his bare back, pulling him closer, leaving red snakes where my nails dig in too deep. I push even harder into the kiss, and I can feel him shying away. I slow myself down, breaking the embrace for air. When I look down into Baz’s face his eyes are half closed and his cheeks are flushed. I feel a blush crawl into my own cheeks and I look away.         

        He looks brilliant when moonlight dances on his pale skin.


burning / adjective

        It happens one night when neither of us are expecting it.

        Simon is having one of his nightmares. Once he’d left Watford, they seemed to lighten up on him, they weren’t half as bad. But this one was different, this was the worst he’d had since the Mage’s death. He whimpers, and his eyebrows are all screwed up. I blink hard, grogginess gone in an instant when I realize I feel it. My mind flashes back to my first year at Watford, the first night Snow had had a nightmare.

        The green. The burning sensation.

        My hand is at his shoulder instantaneously.

        "Simon!“ I don’t want to shout, I think that’d make it worse. Crowley, crowley, Simon is going off. Or he’s about to go off. I shake him again, forcing my voice slightly louder, a hiss instead of a whisper, “Simon!”

        His eyes snap open. He sits straight up, slamming into my face in the process. He’s off the bed and turning the light on before the stars disappear from my eyes.

        "Baz,“ he says, and he looks horrified and excited and I’m not sure whether I should hug him or try to calm him down. Calming him down seems like a good idea.

"Simon,” my voice is soft. His eyes are wide and he’s looking around the room like he’s lost something. Maybe he has. And then he’s crying, sobbing actually, into his hands and it’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m standing next to him in an instant and my arms are wrapped around him.

        "Baz,“ he says again, through sobs, "it’s back. I can’t - it’s actually back, Baz.” And I’m rubbing circles on his shoulders and smiling despite myself.

                "I know, Snow,“ is all I can muster but he’s still crying and clinging onto me repeating it.

        "It’s back… It’s back… I can’t believe it’s back.”

        And I can’t believe it either… but I can feel it. Simon. His magic.


crowley / noun

        It didn’t start as a competition. It started with Baz walking through the front door carrying a bag full of hot cocoa mix, whipped topping and marshmallows. He had a huge grin on his face (a rare occurrence). I stared at him until it was engraved into my memory.

        His face fell when he caught my eyes, “What?”

        "Nothing,“ I said, smiling despite myself, "what’s all this for?”

        He got a mischievous glint in his eyes, “Well, I’m glad you asked, good sir.” He walked to the cabinet by the sink, grabbed two large mugs, and returned to his bag. Baz pulled everything out one at a time, until finally he filled the kettle with water and put it on the stove. (He’s grown accustomed to doing things normally since I lost my magic.)

        "We’re going to be making hot chocolate,“ he said, peeking at me from under his stupid lashes.

        My smile turns into a grin, "Why are my first times always with you?”

        Baz did what any boyfriend would do, he helped me pour the hot water over my mix, and he even told me his secret was dropping a few marshmallows in before the water. He was so cute, too, smiling the whole time and laughing when I started throwing marshmallows at him when he told me I wasn’t very good at making hot beverages. (“I might not be good at making hot cocoa, but have you had my tea?” “Yes, I have Snow, and it’s not as great as you think it is.” “Fuck you, Basildon.” “My name isn’t Basildon.” “No, but I’m Basil-done with you.”)

        "Okay,“ he said seriously, "it’s time for the real test. The decoration. Just so you know, I do work in Starbucks, and I do this every day.”

        I scowl, “Don’t make me laugh, Baz, you’ve got nothing on me.”

        "You wanna make a bet?“ Baz says, raising an eyebrow.

        "Absolutely. If mine is better than yours, you owe me a scone.”

        He rolled his eyes, “Okay, well if I win you’re mine for a day.”

        I frown, “That’s weird, Baz, don’t be a perv.”

        "Do we have a deal?“ I responded by grabbing his hand and shaking it hard once. Then I set to work. I tried to make a beautiful mountain of whipped cream on top of the liquid. It was working pretty well at first, until it started leaning more towards the edge of the glass. I tried to balance it by stacking marshmallows underneath the cliff that had started to build up. Which was to no avail, they only rolled down the cup, leaving a slimy trail of cream behind them. I frowned, how could I fix it?

I looked up then, for a split second, and saw Baz’s. Perfectly stacked with marshmallows hollowed into the topping. Bloody brilliant. Fuck. He caught my eyes, and he raised an eyebrow at my cup, which seemed to be deflating as fast as my ego.

        "Whatever!” I exclaim, lifting my cup up too fast. Hot chocolate and marshmallow-cream muck spill all over my front (staining my new sweater and sticking it to my chest). I chug the rest of my cup’s contents anyways, slamming it onto the counter after I was done.

        "Does that mean I win by default?“ Baz says from behind me. I turn around to glare at him. He stares at me for a minute, and then he starts to giggle. "Crowley, Snow,” he says, walking towards me.

        "What?“

        "Are you a child?” He indicates the area above his lips, “You’ve got something…” I wipe at my lips with my sleeve. Oh. Oh, I’d gotten the whipped cream on my lip. I purse my lips.

        "So are you going to try that or what?“

        He looks at his hot cocoa, then back at me.

        “I’d rather taste you,” Baz winks.


damaged / adjective

        Most of the time, when I’m with Baz I’ll forget about the fact that I don’t have magic. The Mage’s death sort of slips to the back of my mind (which I feel extremely guilty about later, it is my fault he’s dead). The only thing that really matters is the way that I feel when I look at him and the way that my heart kind of lurches, which is really lame and I’m never going to tell Baz about it.

        But sometimes, when I can’t sleep I’ll think about how he and Penny kind of halt their magic while I’m around. They’ll say it doesn’t bother them to live Normally every once in awhile. But they must’ve forgotten that I was a magician, and that I knew what using magic felt like (not that I had many good experiences with my own magic, but still). I knew how wonderful magic was.

        "Baz,” my voice cuts through our quiet flat. He blinks at his book, and then closes it to look at me.

        "Yes?“

        "I think we should break up.” I feel my throat closing around these words and tears are prickling behind my eyes, but I’m keeping eye contact. He deserves better than me. Ex-mageling. Ex-magician. Supposed demon-spawn. His brows are pushing together and his cheeks look fuller. He blinks hard.

        "What?“ His voice cracks. My heart breaks, and a few tears escape. No, now is not the time for hysterics. I shake my head, fearing what kind of noise would come out if I tried to speak. But Baz has his whole body turned towards me, and he looks like he’s either about to punch me or cry. Maybe both. I stand up.

        "What the fuck, Snow?” He grabs my wrist.

        "Baz, stop.“

        "No, you’re going to break up with me and then walk away? What the fuck?”

        "Baz,“ I try.

        "You are not just leaving, Snow. We’re going to talk about this, sit the fuck down.”

        I shake my head, “You won’t understand.”

        "Then help me to understand, Simon.“

        I turn then, to glare at him, "I don’t fucking deserve you, Baz.” He rolls his eyes, standing up (he towers above me still, of fucking course).

        "Of course you don’t, I’m the Angel of Death.“

        "I’m being serious, Baz.”

        "So am I, Snow,“ he sneers. "You’re being daft.” I growl.

        He sighs, and goes to wrap his arms around my neck, but I pull away from him. “Stop,” I say and it breaks my heart. He just glares at me. “Stop,” I try again, and this time my voice doesn’t fail me so I go on, “trying to act like everything is the same. Like I’m the same boy you loved. I'm not, Baz. I’m a mess. I don’t belong with you.”

        "You are a puzzle of a masterpiece. You’ve got little cracks everywhere you look but you’re still the masterpiece. Hey,“ he says, "look at me. I love you, Simon Snow. I am so in love with you. The you who you are right now.” Our eyes are locked and he looks so serious, damn him, and his eyes are so wide, so pleading. A wave of sobs chokes it’s way up my throat. He’s got his arms spread wide, waiting for me to fall into them.

        I sigh. I guess the supposed demon-spawn and the Angel of Death ending up together would make sense.

        "You’re a bloody git,“ I say, reluctantly leaning into him. He pulls me tight and lowers his mouth next to my ear.

        "I love you,” his voice is so soft.


edge / noun

        "Crowley, Sno-“ I got a face full of freezing mush.

        "Whoops,” Simon, running towards him with a huge, completely unapologetic grin on his face, “sorry about that , Baz.” The sarcasm in his voice annoyingly obvious. He was all smiles and messy hair today and I was not in the right frame of mind for it. I crouched down and collected a handful of snow.

        "What are you doing?“ Simon said, he looked puzzled. Literally puzzled, as if it was so beyond his train of thought that I would want payback. I stood up and dumped the snow on top of his head. Most of it stayed on the curls, sinking in, but some caught in his eyelashes.

        "Pfft!” I attempted to cover my laugh with my hand, “You look ridiculous, Snow!”

        Simon smirked, leaned down to pick up a handful of snow and was coming back up when I slipped some down the back of his shirt. “AH, WHY!” He exclaimed, prancing around and wagging this way and that, “S’COLD!!”

        I was beside myself with laughter, keeled over, clutching my stomach. Simon Snow, what a dweeb.

        Simon straightened himself up (shaking the snow out of his shirt) and glared my way. “That was rude, Baz.”

        "You say that like it surprises you that I’m an asshole,“ I rolled my eyes. He had to have seen it coming, always playing clueless. Okay, not always; Snow isn’t the brightest. His face is getting pink, and he turns away from me, lower lip pushed out. I reached out to grab one end of Simon’s scarf. I pull on it and Snow reluctantly walks towards me. "Sorry,” I say. I hope it sounds sincere, it isn’t actually, but that’s beside the point. He scowls at me. Always fucking pouting- he brings one of his arms around to slam another handful of snow into my face, and then he’s laughing at me and despite my attempts to conceal my own amusement I began laughing with him. I pull on his scarf again, and kiss him.

        Kissing Simon Snow is wonderful. Kissing Simon Snow in the snow is magical. No pun intended.


fire / noun

        Our love feels like a fire that won’t go out. It ignites every time I look into the pools of aqua blues he has on his freckled face. It’s so bright and every kiss, every touch seems to stoke it. Nothing can put out the flames of passion between us. His lack of magic, hasn’t made ours fade in the least. I love Simon Snow.


gone / adjective

        It’s not like I don’t know what Baz is doing when he leaves after dinner. I’d established he was a vampire early in our relationship, last Christmas I’d even gotten him to come right out and say it. He’s a vampire. A member of the not-alive-but-not-quite-dead. He went out every night, too, it wasn’t anything new.

        But he was late tonight. Really late. It was already three. And I was having a hard time breathing. Penny had stayed up with me until midnight. When she got up to go to bed she’d muttered a “I’m sure he’s fine Simon, don’t stay up too late.” I’d barely heard her.

        I felt myself growing more hollow with every minute that passed. Dread would creep up my spine at every quarter hour.Was he okay? Did something happen? There weren’t more Numpties, right? Fuck. So I paced around the flat for most of the night, stopping for bathroom breaks only (How could I even think about snacking or anything else? Where was Baz?)

        It was 3:30 when I started wondering whether I’d fucked up somehow. I must’ve. I fucked up and Baz wasn’t coming back. I was a horrible boyfriend. A moody mess. I definitely wasn’t the magician he’d fallen for. I wasn’t even a magician anymore. My eyes started stinging.

        It was either I’d fucked up or he was dead. But Baz can’t die, Baz wouldn’t be dead (couldn't be dead). I must’ve fucked up.

        What was the last thing I’d said to him? “Be safe, I’ll see you in a few hours.”

        He wasn’t dead. He wasn’t dead and I hadn’t fucked up, he was just a little late.

        He wasn’t dead.

        But what if he was dead? What would I do? What could I do?

        Nothing. I’m useless. Not an ounce of magic.

        The front door opens, and an exhausted looking Baz slumps into the room. His cheeks are flushed and when he sees I’m still awake he smirks and raises an eyebrow.

        "Why are you still awake, Sno-“

        I grabbed his wrist and I’m pulling him into the living room. I’m being rather rough about the whole thing, but I don’t notice until he winced.

        I stop, wipe my face (it’s all wet, what the hell?) and turn to face him. He looks mildly concerned but also amused. I hate him.

        Both of my hands press against his cheeks and I’m laughing partially because he looks ridiculous, but mostly because I am so unbelievably glad that he is here and safe and alive. I kiss him once on the nose, "Fuck,” then on his forehead, “you,” his cheek, “you’re” his other cheek, “lateyoufuckingassholeihateyousomuch,” and then I’m kissing his lips and he’s not kissing me back and I’m scared that he really is going to leave this time when he breaks apart.

        "What the fuck are you talking about?“

        I kiss him again, because if this is our last kiss then I want to remember it forever. "I was so worried, Basil, Jesus Christ, I was worried,” I say it against his lips and I don’t open my eyes because I can’t handle his emotionless glare right now.

        He kissed me back and squeezed me closer to him and I wouldn’t have been able to break away from his grip, even if I’d wanted to. But that’s it, I never want to. I want to stay here, with him, for as long as I can breathe. I want to cry, I’m so glad he’s safe. I’m so glad he’s alive. He stops kissing me and I rest my head against him, he smells nice. Like cedar and bergamot and also a little like animal.

        "What,“ he says after a few moments, "were you so worried about?”

        "Numpties.“ I mumble into his chest.

        He scoffs, but it’s light, almost like he was trying not to chuckle (he does that a lot). "I’m not getting kidnapped by fucking numpties more than once in my life, Snow.”

        "You.“

        "Me?”

        "You.“

        He let’s me go, "What about me?”

        "It’s nothing,“ I try for a smile, but he sneers in return, "it’s okay, you’re home now. Safe, that’s all that matters.”

        "You’re a shitty liar.“

        "M'not lying, though.” I look up at him, and I kiss his lower lip because it’s puckering out, the way it always does when he’s trying to pout.

        "Snow,“ he says, taking a step away, suddenly stiff. I blink. "Would you maybe mind waiting to maul my face again until I shower?”

        I smirk, “Why, Baz?”

        He just glares at me and starts towards the bathroom. He stops.

        “Because I just killed a deer, do you want to taste it? I didn’t think so,” he continues towards the bathroom, “but you can join me if you’d like - and I know you would.”


hands / noun

        "Snow,“ Baz says, pressing one of his palms against his eyes, "we’ve gone over it six times now. Are you ready to try it or not?”

        I growl, “Yes, of course I’m ready, Baz.” Honestly, he was such a twit sometimes. I was quite capable of performing a handshake. It wasn’t anything hard. Baz came up with it, so it couldn’t be that hard. No offense to him, of course, he’s bloody brilliant. But I can’t actually see him trying to come up with a handshake that lasted more than a few seconds. He’s really flighty when it comes to physical contact. (How do I know this? Ask the seven years of sharing a room with him.) We’ve only been on a truce for a few weeks. I guess coming up with a secret handshake meant that we were finally moving on from our nemesis-phase.

        I was happy.

I held my hand out to him, remembering the first time we’d met. The night that the Crucible had cast us together. He took it in his own hand. (Bony and slender.) His hands had been softer than I’d imagined possible, and it kind of really pissed me off but at the same time, I’m finally touching his hand. Not sure why that made me happy, though…

        “Okay, one, two, DAMMIT SNOW YOU WENT TOO EARLY,” Baz obviously frustrated, growled at me.

        “I’m sorry, I’ll get it this time. What comes after the pinky part?” I shyly asked.

“That’s the second to last motion, if you can get there then I’ll show you what comes next.” He answered with a smirk.

        I’ve got this. I can handle it, it’s not even that hard, a fucking troll could do this.

        “One, two, three,” Baz started the shake.

        “I told you. I told you I’d get it, what was the next par-” Baz’s thin lips smashed into mine cutting me off.

        So this is what he was gonna show me. Don’t stop, show me more.


instant / adjective, noun

        The night the crucible cast me with Simon Snow was the night I think my life truly began. It wasn’t because I was instantly in love with him. It was quite the opposite, actually. The first time I saw his scrawny body dragging it’s way towards me I felt anger.

        Anger that this small boy had had the world in his pocket.

        "You’re the Mage’s heir,“ was the first thing that’d slipped out of my mouth. It wasn’t a question, more an observation. He’d just thrown his hand out and was waggling it at me.

        "Yeah,” he huffed, shaking his hand again, “that’s me.” I felt the pull towards him, it was almost magnetic. Fighting it was taking a lot of my energy and concentration. I sneered, finally giving in, and took his hand in my own. He smiled then, “I’m Simon, Simon Snow.”

        "Basilton Pitch,“ I replied flatly. No way in hell would I make friends with this kid. My family had told me all about him. The Mage’s heir had apparently come from an orphanage and as far as anyone knew, had no reason to have any magical abilities. (That last part, obviously, proved untrue.)

        He was small, his clothes hanging on him like he was a walking, talking toothpick. It shocked me that he was supposed to be the Greatest Mage. He was the savior our world had been waiting for. He was holding a red ball in the hand that I wasn’t holding. Then I remembered I was actually holding his hand, and I dropped it, taking a few steps back.

        He smiled at me again, "Nice to meet you, Basil!” My heart did a cartwheel for some reason then, so I sneered at him to hide my discomfort. What kind of magic was that? Was nice to meet you some kind of a spell or something? None that I’d ever heard of. “I wonder where our room is going to be…” He trailed off, looking around us. His face had an orange-ish tint in the firelight and it made his moles and freckles pop out. I got the urge to kiss the one right under his jaw.

        That’s weird, Baz, I think, he’s your enemy, by default. Get your act together. You’re going to end up killing each other some day.

        Hopefully soon, that way I can stop thinking about that mole, and all of the other ones.

        That didn’t make the urge go away.


just / adverb

        Whenever I think back to my childhood, I never figured I’d be considering marrying a bloke. (Not surprisingly) I always assumed I’d ask Agatha over dinner at a fancy restaurant. She’d be drinking champagne or some other classy shit, and I’d have done something lame like dropping it into her glass beforehand, like Oh, how opportune, since you almost choked on the ring, why don’t you admire it, also, will you marry me?

        What kind of ring do you even buy for a guy? I can’t imagine Baz would want any gaudy stone on his finger. Or would he, he is one of those in-your-face types… This is another thing I never assumed I’d deal with. Trying to figure out what kind of ring he’d want. Trying to surprise him with something he’ll adore. Wow.

        "Can I help you, sir?“ The lady behind the counter was looking at me with a sculpted brow raised.

        "Uh,” I said, embarrassed, “actually, yeah. I’m looking for a ring.”

        "Well,“ she said pleasantly, "you’ve come to the right place. Do you have any idea as to what kind of ring she’d be interested in?”

        "He,“ I corrected, trying to sound polite, her eyes go wide, "I’m not sure exactly, we’ve never actually talked about rings…”

        "Let’s try over here, then,“ she says, leading me towards a display with thicker rings. She’s smirking, must be good gossip, a boy shopping for a ring for another boy. I pursed my lips, nervous. I chuckled at myself, Merlin, I’m so lame.

        "Good morning Basil, my sweet,” I smile up at him. His hair is pulled back into a loose knot in the middle of his head, stray hairs are brushing against his flawless face. He’s like a fucking angel, kind of, like a dark one or something. Which is honestly, even more fucking attractive. He stifles a yawn and smiles at me.

        "Good morning, Snow.“

        "What do you want to eat this morning, darling?”

        He sits back, sipping his coffee, raising an eyebrow. “What have you done, now, Snow?” I raise my eyebrows.

        "I can’t believe you think so low of me, after all this time, Baz.“

        He chuckles.

        "If you must know,” I say, folding my hands in my lap, “I just wanted to do something nice for you today…”

        "Is something wrong, Simon?“ He says, leaning forward to lay a hand across my forehead. My eyes widen.

        "Why would anything be wrong?”

        "You’re acting really weird,“ he says, leaning back again, "it’s creeping me out.”

        I blush, “Never mind, then, I take it all back, fend for yourself!” He snorts and takes my hand into his. It’s been six years since I officially asked Baz out. (Before the whole mess with The Mage…) Six years and he still makes me blush, still makes my mind go fuzzy when he gets really close to me. It’s ridiculous, really, how much I love this man.

        I don’t have the whole “proposal” thing planned out. I know that I don’t want to do it in public, it’s a personal moment, a personal step forward. I’ll probably do something really lame like hollow out a section in a book and give it to him with the ring and a “Will you marry me?” note inside of it.

        "Simon,“ Baz says, shaking our hands.

        "Huh? Yeah?”         

        "Are you actually okay?“

        "I’m fine,” I am fine.

        "Hey, look at me for a sec,“ I do. And he’s on one knee next to me, looking up at me with puppy-dog-eye-mode activated. I stare at him, feeling in my pocket for the box holding the ring I’d gotten for him. It’s there.

        "Simon,” he says shakily, and I pull the box from my pocket and open it. He looks at it blankly for a minute, realization hit him like a brick. I wrap my arms around him and we sort of fall to the kitchen floor hugging each other and kissing each other and saying yes at least 500 times each. This is it. Just us, forever.


klutz / noun

        That was it, then, a rejection from the coach in person. I hadn’t made the team, again — third year in a row. A guy can only handle so much rejection in one lifetime. I knew it was high time I gave up my dream of becoming some famous footballer. You had to have a lot of stamina — I did not. You had to be good — I was not.

        That was fine. I think I’d always known I wouldn’t be able to live out my life normally. Or Normally, considering I wasn’t Normal. Even aside from being a magician, I was the Chosen One. I was supposed to defeat the Humdrum or die trying. It’s okay, this is fine.

        This is fine.

        I’m fine.

        I’m not fine, this is shit, this is complete shit, how do I get better at playing when I’m not given a chance to learn how to properly play? This is —

        "Oi, Snow,“ Baz Pitch is walking towards me, wearing his uniform. Baz is on the team. Which is understandable, he’s brilliant. But it’s still annoying.

        "Yes,” I say with a polite smile. I’m fucking fuming on the inside and Baz knows it because he’s smirking at me and crossing his arms over his jersey, “What is it, Baz?”

        "I heard you didn’t make the team, again.“ For being a 13-year-old he was awfully cocky.

        "Is that what you heard?” I say, turning away from him.

        "Yeah,“ he said, following me when I’d started to walk away from him, "I just wanted to ask if you wanted to practice with me? Maybe you’ll make it next year…”

        "You’re an asshole, you know tha— wait, what?“

        He smirked, "We can practice right now, if you want?”

        "I—.“ Was he joking? Since when was Baz Pitch helpful? Was there a way he could murder me while we played football?

        "Or not, maybe some other time…?” He said when I hadn’t responded.

        "Now is fine,“ I decide that if this is a trap I might as well go along with it to see what his end goal is.

        "Alright, so, you obviously know the basics,” he says staring down at me with his hands on his hips, “we just need to work on your technique. Part one of that is physique, you might want to lay off the scones, Snow. They’re not helping your—” I shoot him a glare full of daggers, “Don’t look at me like that, you know eating an entire stick of butter with every meal isn’t entirely healthy either, right?”

        I roll my eyes, “What can we do today, Baz?”

        He sighs, scratching his chin. We’ve been standing in the middle of the field since lessons were let out. It was baking hot out here, and the moat smell filled my nose. I’d never been this close to Baz on the pitch. Hah, Pitch on the pitch. Hahaha. He had his hair pulled back into a bun (which really made his cheeks stand out and he looked like some model for a sporting magazine, totally weird!) and sweat was dripping down his face. I didn’t know Baz got sweaty.

        "Let’s start by kicking the ball back and forth,“ he decided, slicking a few stray strands back, "we’ll work on your aim first.”

        "Right,“ I said. I backed up a few steps and waited for Baz to kick the ball to me. When he did and I’d stopped it — an amazing feat, really, considering he kicks like some beast, I looked towards him to check whether he was ready or not. He nodded, so I readied myself, a quick reminder gliding through my head to kick with the side of my foot, and not with my toes.

        I kicked with all of my might, hoping it’d make it all the way to Baz.

        It did. Unfortunately that wasn’t the only thing it did. The black and white ball smacked into his face, knocking him back. He lost his footing and fell onto his back, slamming his head against the ground. He wasn’t moving.

        "Oh my God,” I said, running to him, “oh my Godohmy god ohmygodohmygod, Baz!” I tried to check whether he was breathing but I wasn’t really sure how to do that without actually listening for a heartbeat so I rested my head against his chest, listening hard.

        Nothing for one second and then —

        There it was. Thump, thump. thump. It started slow, but was beating out of control like some war drum after a few seconds.

        "Oh, Baz, oh my God,“ I say, sitting back up. His cheeks are flushed and his eyes are wide open, he’s staring right at me.

        "What the hell are you doing?” He says, sitting up and shoving me away.

        "I- uh, I —,“ I’m so glad he’s not dead.

        "Snow, you fucking klutz, no wonder you didn’t make the team.” He stands up, brushes the grass off of himself and stalks back towards campus, leaving me on my knees in the football pitch fuming over how much of an asshole he is.


lame / adjective

        Couples ruin Christmas. Honestly, how insensitive can they be, kissing each other so possessively when there are some of us who can’t snog who we want. Holding each other close outside because they’re cold. Existing. Once again, the holiday season is right here, in my grasp, and all I can think about doing is snogging Simon Snow under mistletoe. It’s ridiculous, really. To make matters worse, the whole school gets so festive around this time of year, if I spent any more time here than I already did I’d be puking up tinsel for weeks.

        They’ll magic the decorations up around the twenty-ninth of November, and from then on it’s open game to adding your own traditions in with your roommate (ie a small tree, tinsel, wreaths, lights etc). That’d be fine if my roommate didn’t hate my guts. I look over at him now, he’s sitting on his bed, biting his lip trying to figure something on his homework out. I blink hard and take my eyes away from him.

        It’s ridiculous, really, how flustered I get when I see him. Ridiculous… no, embarrassing. Appalling. But God. He’s Simon Snow, he’s the Chosen One, the golden boy. He’s perfect, even with his ridiculous curls and stupid freckles. He’s Simon Snow and I’m so in love with him that it hurts like hell to be around him.

        "What’re you doing at, Baz,“ he says. I look back at him, he’s glaring at me suspiciously. Probably thinks I’m plotting his downfall or something.

        I sigh dramatically, glaring right back at him, "I’m just wondering what you’re going to do without me for Christmas. Your nights are going to be so free now.” This is the first time I’ve acknowledged that I know he follows me every night, all night.

        He growls at me. It’s not intimidating anymore. It brings to mind a dog growling while it’s playing, more of a way to show competition than aggression. I roll my eyes.

        "No, I’m being serious, Snow. I’m worried, are you going to go find some other stranger to follow around? That’s considered stalking you know.“

        "Fuck off, Baz.” He says, tossing his homework aside so he could leave the room. I laugh dryly.

        Good. Maybe he’ll avoid me until I leave.

        But luck, it seems, was never on my side. He came back a little while after dinner had started. He was eating a scone.

        "Why weren’t you at dinner?“ He says, falling into his bed.

        I look over at him, the sunset reflecting in his hair. He looked tired, and frustrated — though I couldn’t understand why.

        "I don’t have to explain myself to you,” I say, looking back up at the ceiling. He sighs.

        "Whatever.“

        I look over at him again, he’s on his back, looking up too.

        The shadows the light cast on his face reminded me of how much I wanted to kiss him. To trace the outline of his bone structure with my lips. I swallow hard and look away from him. Puberty hit him like a fucking baseball bat last summer, his face had lost all of it’s roundness. He wasn’t cute anymore. He was beautiful. Golden locks and blue eyes.

        There’s a knock at the door, and we both stand up to see who it was. Snow is still shorter than me. Probably 3 inches. Every year he throws a fit about it, "Stop fucking stealing my thunder BAZ!” “You asshole!! HOW DARE YOU?!” He’s never actually said any of this to me, I’ve seen it in the margins of his notes. Or homework. Or tests.

        Simon gets to the door first, he opens it a crack to peek into the hall without inviting anyone in.

        "Who is it?“ I say, trying to look over his head.

        "I ‘unno.” He says, opening it the rest of the way. The hallway is empty. And then I see it, right above our doorway.Mistletoe. Goddamn first years probably trying to play a prank. It takes him a moment longer than me to notice it, and when he does his face goes from golden to tomato in a second and he seems genuinely at a loss for words.

        "Wha—,“ and then I realize we’re both standing in the doorway. I raised an eyebrow at Simon.

        He scrunched his nose, scowling, and kissed my cheek.

        It was my turn to blush, I shove away from him and walk into the bathroom. My heart feels like it’s racing a million miles an hour. I don’t know who knew Simon Snow took those silly holiday traditions seriously but I’d have to thank them forever.


monster / noun

        "It’ll be alright, little puff,” her voice rang in my ears, and her hand brushed the hair from my face. Thick, wonderful. Mother. Her hand slips away, and I look around the gloom that seemed to be consuming me.

        "Mother?“ I say, my voice is higher, and thin. My eyes are desperately searching, any hint of a shadow, anything.

        "Darling,” she says, “my Basilton, I’ve missed you,” her voice is retreating. I run towards it. Groping into the darkness, hoping to catch her.

        "Mother!“ I’m screaming it over and over now, shrill voice and ugly tears staining my cheeks. "Mother, mother,mothermothermothermother!” And then I slam into something, someone. I look up, frightened, expecting a monster.

        The sight was worse than any monster.

        It was my mum’s face, contorted in disgust, she was trying to ease her torso away from me, without actually having to touch me. Her eyes are burning. I back away from her.

        "You should have died, too,“ she said with a growl, "you are an atrocity. A stain to this world.” She set the tips of her fingers ablaze. They weren’t burning, the fire never touched our skin. It spread, licking up her arms. Casting hideous shadows across her face. Her eyes were full of disappointment, and I wondered if mother would bring my end. She could rid the world of another monster. Right here, right now. I also wondered whether I wanted that.

        "BAZ,“ this voice is different, urgent, coming from everywhere and nowhere. I look around the gloom. "Baz, love, it’s alright, I’m right here.” Arms are around me, and my head is resting against someone’s chest. A boy’s chest.

        My eyes focus in on a face full of moles and tired blue eyes. Bed-head and worried lips.

        "Simon,“ slips from my lips before he cuts me off with a kiss. He’s got wicked morning breath.

        "It was just a dream,” I say, looking around the room, I reach out for Simon Snow’s hand. I want to make sure he’s real, that this isn’t going to turn into a nightmare as well. He met me half way and laced our fingers together.         

        "It was just a dream,“ he agrees, and I try to slow my breathing down.


neck / noun

        I wasn’t kidding when I’d told him I would turn him.

        I meant every word of it.

        Simon Snow would be my vampire boyfriend until the end of eternity.

        I didn’t know when I’d get enough courage to tell him this, though. I certainly didn’t expect him to walk up to me one day after work and say, “Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch, I want you to turn me so I can be your shitty vampire boyfriend until the end of time.” (We’d had a few conversations about immortality, and whether I could stay alive forever. "Of course you can, that’s the only perk to being a vampire!” “Most vampires don’t just join, it’s not some club that you can decide you don’t want to be in when you find out it’s not what you thought it was.” “Okay, but consider this, you living forever. You’ll stop aging at 25, you’ll be sitting on a metal bench, because everything in the future is metal-” “Benches are metal now, Snow.”)

        But he did, and he’d said it with such a serious expression that I couldn’t help but laugh, “What the fuck, Snow?”         

        “I don’t want this, us, to ever end,” he paused, “and if I don’t turn, it eventually will .” he finished.

        “Where is this coming from?” I say, raising an eyebrow. Something was wrong, something seemed off.

        He thought about it for a minute, “My heart.”

        Despite how ridiculously cheesy it was, I blushed. Hah!

        “You still have time to think about this, Simon.”

        “What’s there to think about?” He says, crossing his arms, “I love you, Baz, and I want to be with you forever. You’re going to be alive forever. I don’t see what the problem is.”

        I roll my eyes, “The problem is, Snow, that I’m not going to take away your humanity because you never want to be away from me.”

        “Baz, please-”

        “Simon, I’m not talking about this anymore.” He stares at me, and he looks like he’s on the verge of tears. His face looks thinner, and he’s got shadows under his eyes, almost like he hasn’t been getting enough sleep. I wonder how I hadn’t noticed it before. He growls, but the growl gets stuck in his throat, and his face gets pale, and he looks like he’s about to throw up.

        Then he does, he gets sick right in the middle of the floor, chunky dark red vomit (like bloodstained coffee grounds), and he’s actually got tears streaming down his face. He looks terrified and I don’t know what to do. I don’t understand.

        “Simon, what’s wrong?” I’ve got him in my arms and he feels so small. Had he lost weight? He’s shaking all over, but he looks up at me and smiles.

        “I’m a li’l sick, Baz,” he says.

        “I had no idea,” I say, lacing my voice in sarcasm, “Sick how? Is… is that blood?” I’ve got my phone out, dialing emergency.

        “Cancer, Baz. I’m dying, I won’t make it more than a few months, probably less,” he motions at his sick pile.

        "How long have you known?“ I’m sick to my stomach. An ambulance was on it’s way. How hadn’t I known? I should have been with him. Every step.

        "Few weeks, I…” he looks down, “I’m scared Baz. I’m so scared… I don’t want to leave you.”

        Our eyes meet, and his are so blue but they look like pools of sadness.

        “But I won’t have to, if… if you turn me, now.” He looks scared, and I feel scared. I’m horrified. It’s too early to lose him.

        “You know what happens once you’re a vampire right? There isn’t going back, there isn’t waking up to feeling alive again, Snow.”

        “I know, Baz.”

        I didn’t turn him that night. He agreed that it’d be best to set a date. We decided to wait, to see how his cancer played out. Maybe he’d go into remission. But he didn’t. He just kept getting worse and worse. I was more worried about keeping him comfortable than I was about turning him into a monster.

        He’d get through this without turning. He’s Simon Snow. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself.

        It was a morning at the beginning of December. He’d been getting worse lately, later nights with more pain — the medicine working less and less. His face was sunken in, but he’d kept that smile on his face, the Simon Snow one, his signature grin.

        “What’s got you looking so down, Baz?” He said.

        I looked at him sadly, he was so small, falling into the sheets and blankets as if he were one of them. “You look like shit, Snow.”

        “Hah! You’re one to talk, Baz. Have you taken a shower this week?”

        I roll my eyes, “Have you?”

        He didn’t answer. He was all smiles and messy hair.

        He looked like Simon, but he didn’t.

        “How are you feeling?” I said, inching the chair closer to him.

        “Fine,” he said, though he’d winced after shifting a moment before.

        “Really?” I say, I reach for one of his hands, he grabs it gladly.

        His hands are all bone, he looks more like a skeleton now than he ever had after a summer of no-eating. I want to cry. Simon. Simon.

        “Really,” he said. His eyes were hooded now, his eyelids always heavy. He looks so tired, so wrung-out. Like an old rag. His breathing is slow. “Baz,” he says, without opening his eyes.

        “Yes?”

        “I think I’m ready to go to sleep.”

        “What?”

        “I’m… ready to go to sleep.”

“Simon…”

“Simon…”

        “Dammit, Snow! You may be ready but I’m not,” I close my eyes, “I’m sorry.”

        I lean in, moving his head aside so that I can access the main . I hesitate, but only enough so I can inhale his scent.                         And then I sink my fangs in, and his blood is sickly sweet on my tongue. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for since we met, right?

        No. It was different now. I wanted to kill him then. I want to save him now. I want Simon Snow to be with me forever. I pull my face away from him when I can’t take it anymore. I look at his face, it’s so blank, his eyelids are purple.

        One minute… Two… I was too late. I didn’t save him in time. Simon Snow was dead, and it was all my fault.

        And then his eyes flew open, and he sat up straight in bed.

        “What the fuck, Baz?” He was grinning.


once / adverb

        The nights when I’m alone with Baz are my favorite one’s. We’ll sit on the ground in the living room with a blanket or two under us and a bunch of pillows (collected from various rooms) surrounding us, and we’ll talk. Not about any particular topic, just anything that pops up.

        (This one time Baz told me about the time his dad caught him smoking a cigarette in the carriage house. He’d gotten pissed, as he bloody well should have. Baz is flammable, thank you very much.)

        And that’s what we’re doing on a Saturday night while Penny is visiting her family. Sitting on the floor facing each other and talking about the reason I like cherry scones.

        "It was almost like magic the first time I ate one!“ Baz is snickering. "It was, Baz! There was so much flavor! Of course, I haven’t really had any supreme ones since I was at Watford…” I trail off. I didn’t mean to turn the conversation this direction. It’s a very somber thing to talk about, how I lost my magic and all. I wasn’t actually in the mood to talk about it tonight, either. I’d been thinking about it quite enough lately, since Christmas was only a few weeks away.

        "What do you miss most, the scones or your magic?“ His voice is light.

        I scowl, "What kind of question is that? The scones, of course. My magic was rubbish, wasn’t it?”

        We both laugh. I appreciate the way Baz doesn’t seem keen on the idea of turning our conversation towards a tear-jerking, pity fest either. I’m tracing the angles of his face with my eyes (lame, I know, I just can’t get over the fact that his jaw looks like it was carved from stone) when he breaks the silence.

        "Snow, can I kiss you?“ I blink at him. Why was he asking?

        "Call me Simon, Baz…”

        He leans in closer to me, “Simon,” his breath is cold, “can I kiss you?”

        I swallow hard, “Just once.”

        And he does, perfect lips against mine. It’s soft, such a gentle kiss but it’s whispering a thousand secrets, each one causing my face to brighten to a more intense red. When he breaks the kiss he seems surprised to see how red my cheeks are. I’m a bit shocked myself, and I don’t understand until his fingers are brushing across my cheek. I shiver. No one’s kissed me like that before. Kissed me like I was their treasure.         

        My blush deepens and I turn my face away from Baz’s peering gaze. He’d probably laugh if I ever said that to him. I’d laugh if our roles were reversed. I turn towards him quickly and kiss his cheek, hoping that my kiss told him half as many secrets as his told me.


pride / noun

        He’s tracing my jaw with his index finger, a small smile tugging at his lips.

        "What,“ my voice is soft, I’m close to sleep. He shakes his head and looks into my eyes. Baz has the prettiest eyes. They’re like the sea during a storm. The contours of his face make him look like a statue of an old god.

        I reach my hand up to catch his, his skin is cool.

        "Simon,” he says, his voice is heavy with sleep too.

        "Yeah?“ My eyes are sagging. Our joined hands are falling onto the bed between us.

        "You aren’t cute anymore.”

        "Huh?“ I open one back up.

        He’s smiling again, I can hear it, "You aren’t cute anymore. Your face has too many angles now.”

        I’m not following. I open my mouth to say something but stop myself and rethink my words, “What are you talking about?”

        "Your face. It used to be as round as that bloody ball you carried around with you everywhere.“

        Both of my eyes are open now, and I’m staring at him, waiting for an in-depth explanation.

        "You’re much more attractive now,” his eyes aren’t even open anymore. When he pauses I wonder whether he’s fallen asleep when, “I like the way your jaw sets when you’re thinking hard…”

        I blush, “What are you saying all this for?”

        His eyes open then, and he’s looking at me hard, “I don’t know.”

        I push myself closer to him. He wraps his arms around me and I feel my own breathing slow.

        "Simon,“ he says.

        "Hm?”

        "Sweet dreams.“ I can’t help it, I blush again.


quibble / noun, verb

        "Christ, Baz,” Simon exclaims, throwing something at me. It’s probably a scone. “Do you ever think about what you say?”

        I roll my eyes. “I think about my words on a daily basis, Snow. Do you?” That earns a growl. Sneer in place, I am determined to win this argument. It started over something as silly as where to put the tree.

        "Fuck you, Baz.“ He said, turning his back to me. I roll my eyes again.

        "That’s not an option when you’re just going to go off and mope over the bloody tree.” I bluntly state. I don’t know why I’m being like this. It’s not like I really cared about the tree’s position. I just wanted to put it up with him. I’d imagined some silly little couple thing where we wrapped each other in garland and giggled along to Christmas carols because we’d had a little bit too much eggnog.

        But I’d ruined it, the way that I ruin most things.

        My response was a door slamming. I didn’t know what that meant. Did he want me to leave? Was I supposed to put the tree up by myself? Merlin, why was I so daft? I grab my coat, sling it over my arm and slam the front door behind me. Part of me is hoping he’ll come after me. To apologize. But he had nothing to apologize for. I was in the wrong.

        Once I meet the cold December air I start toward the shop. I’ll buy a coffee and then I’ll go back and I’ll explain and I’ll apologize. But… how do you apologize for being an asshole?

        How do you apologize for being mad at someone because of something that had happened in your head? I sigh.

        "Alright, Basil?“ I know my manager’s voice but I look up, surprised, anyways.

        "Alright,” I say with a smile. She snorts.

        "You’re so full of it.“

        "Don’t I know it,” I mumble and I go back to the flat.

        I knock on the door first, assuming Simon had returned to the living room after I left. He doesn’t answer though, so I knock again. No answer. I ring the doorbell.

        He opens the door right away, “You think you’d get the message.”

        "I- uh,“ his hair is dripping wet and his face looks splotchy. I push past him and go in to find a towel, he’ll get sick if he doesn’t dry his hair. The idiot. He’s following me through the rooms.

        "Baz, what do you-” I drape the first hand towel I find down onto his head. I ruffle his hair.

        "I’m sorry.“ I say. He looks up at me with his eyes and they’re so blue, they drag me through them into a whole other world. "Snow, I’m so sorry.”

        And there are tears welling up in his eyes and it’s still so strange to see him this way. So vulnerable. So raw. He looks down and pulls away from me, turning back towards the living room. I didn’t notice it on the way in but he’s already got the tree standing. It’s small, maybe 3’. But it’s perfect.

        He stops and turns to look at me. Instead of saying anything he punches me. Square in the jaw. It hurt like hell.

        "YOU ARE THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE IN THE HISTORY OF ASSHOLES. BASILTON, LOOK AT ME.“ He grabs my face to make sure I do, and his bottom lip is poking out. "Don’t you ever leave after such a stupid fight.”

        "I’m so sorry, Simon.“ I think I might cry too. “I shouldn’t have said–”

        “Stop.”

        “But-”

        “Okay,” he sighs, pushing his hand through his hair, “maybe I could’ve gone without all of the little digs, but honestly? I don’t even care about where we put the tree… I just wanted to decorate it with you. I’m sorry, Baz. I’m so sorry,” he leans into me, wrapping his arms around mine, “you can hit me in the face too.”

        I chortle, “How could I hit you when you apologize like that?”


rather / adverb

        The morning was cold, biting bitterly at my cheeks. It was too early for me, any time before ten was too early. My eyes were having a hard time adjusting to the bright sun, and I wasn’t sure how much farther I was from the station. I was supposed to be meeting Baz there at 10:30.

        I look at my watch, I left the house later than I should have. It was 10:25. I’m glad when I look up and see the large clock and a crowd of bustling people. Baz is leaning against a wall, one leg crossed over the other, looking like a Greek god. He was looking up at the sky, his hair dark silk against his pale pigmentation.

        I smile because he’s beautiful. He looks so out of place, posh coat, aristocratic features, almost like he’s a model posing for some magazine. He was receiving appreciative looks from girls and women alike, all of them eying him like he was a fucking piece of candy. I walk towards him slowly, trying not to shock him from his reverie. He sees me, though, out of the corner of his eyes. He grins, and I can’t help but blush.

        Basilton is my fucking beautiful boyfriend of two years.

        "Hi,” I manage, once I reach him.

        "Hello,“ he sounds breathless.

        "You look nice,” I say, taking in his outfit. Nice jeans, that fit him snug but not tight. A blue sweater, with a white collared shirt under it. He looked stunning, of course, he could probably make a onesie look awesome (he does, I know from experience).

        "So do you,“ I look up at him, trying to see if he was joking. His features were serious, though, and I looked down at myself. Not very fancy, nothing near as nice as his. I smile.

        "Shall we, then?”

        "Oh, yeah.“ I take his hand then. Because holding Baz’s hand has always been a comfort to me, being close, maintaining physical contact. He squeezes mine in return, and I can’t help but think back to the time we’d almost died trying to get rid of the chimera he’d gotten to kill me.

        I don’t ask where we’re going, it doesn’t really matter to me. He’d told me he had to get some shopping done, and then we could grab lunch and who knows from there? We walked into a clothing store first, a big one with fancy lettering above the door that I couldn’t read. The front racks were stuffed with sweaters. Ugly sweaters, with gaudy reindeer poking their noses out, some with cotton snowballs hanging from the cuffs and neck. There were sweater vests with dogs dressed as elves, and thick fleece sweaters with Father Christmas riding towards you on his sleigh, Ruldolph’s red nose sticking out from the center of the chest of course.

        Normally clothes shopping is a nightmare, I’m not interested in clothes. Give me some pants and a shirt and I’m all set. But there was something about the way that the deformed reindeer faces looked out of the sweater’s that I couldn’t ignore.

        "Baz,” I couldn’t believe this! There were so many, some the ugly Christmas kind, some a nice cotton with a chevron pattern across the chest. I was in sweater heaven! Baz was looking at me, more amused than anything, thankfully. His arms were folded over his chest.

        "What are you doing? Go try them on, you dunce.“ I couldn’t help but notice the way the employees kept looking him over.

        "Huh, eh, uh… what do you mean?” He raised his eyebrow, grabbed the first sweaters he could reach and tossed them into my arms.

        "Go. Change. Now.“ He motioned towards the dressing rooms. I pursed my lips and turned away, excited to interact with the sweaters but also not exactly happy to leave Baz alone in a store full of pretty girls, and attractive boys. I walk into the room and try the first one on.

        Ugly green with a Christmas tree on the front, the ornaments and star elevated against my chest. I don’t know whether I’m supposed to go out to show Baz or just admire them myself. There was a knock at the door.

        I opened it to see Baz standing right outside. He looked slightly uncomfortable until he saw my head poke out.

        "Let’s see it, then,” he says. I stand just outside of the door. Baz has a big smile on his face, he covers it with his palm, possibly trying not to laugh. “Hm…” he pulls on my sleeve to turn me around, “something is missing, try on the next one.” I raise a brow.

        "Aren’t you going to try anything on?“

        He sighed, "No, Simon, not right now. I’m having too much fun waiting to see all of these awful sweaters on you.” I turn back into the room before he can see my blush.

        The next one was four sizes too big, hanging past my knees. Red, with green garland wrapped around the sleeves and the giant face of Father Christmas across the front. His beard hung off, it was made of yarn and cotton. I looked at myself in the mirror, debating whether or not I should just take this one off and leave it balled up in here so no one else would ever have to wear it. But then I thought about seeing Baz smile and maybe even get a laugh from it, and then I opened the door, looking at the ground.

        Baz did laugh, he laughed for at least two minutes, pulling at the garland and the beard, and even at his button nose (it was an actual button, a huge black one sitting in the center of his face). “Simon,” he said, suddenly straightening up and looking at me seriously, “the only thing I want for Christmas from you, is for you to wear this sweater, all day.” I opened my mouth to protest. I didn’t have enough money to buy it, I hated it, it was stupid. But the smile on his face wasn’t stupid, and I couldn’t bring myself to tell him no because he seemed so happy at the way that it fit.

        He looked over to one of the girls on the floor, she’d been watching him anyways, “He’s going to wear this one out.” She looked at me then, and I saw her bite her cheek, probably trying not to laugh. While he checked out I went back to the dressing room to retrieve my own shirt and to grab all of the rejects. I hung them all back up and waited for Baz by the door.

        Just outside of the shop he pulled me into a kiss, wrapping his arm around me. I kissed him back, of course. Who would pass up a chance to snog Baz? He pulled away once he remembered that we were in public, with rosy cheeks and a goofy grin. I liked this side of Baz. I’d buy all of the ugly sweaters in the world if it meant that he’d smile like this every day.


stupor / noun

        "Simon,“ Penny hissed.

        I held my finger up to her, "One. Minute.” She was being ridiculous. I hadn’t had too much to drink. I was an adult. I could decide what my limit was. I wasn’t so drunk that I’d lost my common sense. I mean, it’s not like I was going to run into the middle of the street. I wasn’t going to do anything stupid. I wouldn’t regret anything from a night as wonderful as tonight. I go through my contacts, looking not for his name (I’d saved his number under some vulgar name, like “Stupid Bitch”.) but for his contact photo. His. Baz. Basilton. The man I was so stupidly in love with.

        I hit the call button.

        One ring.

        Two.

        Three.

        He answers before the fourth.

        "This better be good, Snow, I’m in the middle of something.“ I could hear him sneering.

        "BASILTON!” I shout. I hadn’t intended it to be a shout. I was aiming more for an exasperated exclamation. Low-key excitement. But I guess my own feelings were already bubbling over the surface.

        "What’s wrong with you? Why are you shouting?“

        "Sorry,” I mumble, not really meaning it. It was so nice to hear his voice.

        "What did you call for, Snow?“ He says, after a few moments silence from my end. Or maybe it was a few minutes?

        "I have something. Very. Very important to tell you, Bazzzzz.”

        "So important it couldn’t wait until later?“ But I hear him excusing himself (he was probably with his family) and walking somewhere.

        "No,” I say, so sure that my feelings needed to be heard by everyone, “I had to tell you. It had to be tonight.” I hope I don’t sound as pushy as I feel.

        "Hang on, have you been drinking?“

        "NO!”

        "Crowley, Snow, where are you?“

        "Nowhere,” I lie, “that’s not the POINT! I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING BASILTON. I HAVE TO.”

        "Then spit it out already, Snow. I haven’t got all night.“

        "I like you.”

        "Come again?“

        "I am in love with you Basilton Peach, I like you-”

        "What the fuck, Snow? Go home. Sleep this off. You’re gonna regret saying it later.“

        "SHUT UP AND LISTEN, OKAY BAZ? FOR ONCE JUST HEAR ME OUT!”

        He doesn’t say anything.

        "I…“ What else is there for me to say? I’ve said "I love you” already. He doesn’t feel the same. This was a mistake.

        "Where are you, Snow?“ He says.

        "What?”

        "Where are you? Still at the club? Which one?“        

        "I’m not-”

        "Snow, you can’t just tell me you love me over the phone, what the fuck are you thinking?“

        "I don’t-” I’m not thinking, I guess. That’s the only explanation. What the fuck? I hang up.

        Baz calls me back right away. I don’t answer. What was I thinking, Merlin and Morgana.

        He calls again, I hit ignore this time, and I sit down on a bench. My head is spinning, the cold air isn’t helping me. I wish I was back in the dorm, under the blankets and hiding. I could pretend nothing had happened there.

        Penny calls me.

        "Hello?“

        "Simon, where are you?” I sigh, and look around for a store. “Never mind,” she says, “I see you.”

        I whip my head around, she’s walking towards me, and she looks mad.

        "Hello, Penny,“ I say, "Wanna hear something funny? I think I just ruined my life.”

        "What?“ She sits next to me and raises an eyebrow. I lean into her shoulder, I’m so embarrassed.

        My face is burning.

        "Simon,” she says, “Baz just called me, I didn’t even know he had my number. He called and asked where you are.”

        I sat up straight, “What did you tell him?”

        She looks confused, “I told him you were with me, he asked where we were, and so I-”

        "You didn’t tell him where we are, did you?“

        "Yes, I did. What are-”

        "I’ve got to go.“

        ”-you so antsy about?“

        "Baz,” I say. She doesn’t get it, she doesn’t know what I did! I stand up and start back to the club.

        "Where are you going, Simon?“

        "I’m thirsty.”

        "No, Simon. Simon,“ I stop and look back at her, "you don’t need any more to drink.”

        "I'm fine, Penny,“ I try to smile.

        I’m not fine. Baz is driving here, why is Baz driving here I’m fucked, I’m dead, he’s probably coming to laugh at me in person. "Simon Snow,” he’ll say, "the Chosen One. Drunk off of his ass and professing his love for me.“ Then cold laughter, the unfeeling, hollow kind. I’m not fine. I down another drink, or maybe it’s two, I’ve lost track at this point. I can barely see the guy behind the counter. Penny might be right next to me still, or maybe she’s not. I’ve got to go to the bathroom but I don’t want to get lost.

        "Simon,” I know the voice. Deeper, rounding out my name. It’s Baz, I turn around and try to focus on him. His face is out of focus one minute, and then the next the light above us is casting a halo on his head. His eyebrows are raised, he looks amused.

        "Vaz.“ Baz.

        I feel the sudden urge to kiss him, he looks so beautiful in this dingy place. So out of place. I’m grinning, he’s here, I got to see him on break. He’s here, Baz is here. For a moment, I forgot that I’d confessed to him. I forgot that he was here to make fun of me. But the moment passed, and everything came crashing around me.

        He sits down on the stool next to mine, resting his head on his hand.

        I turn my body towards him, so that I can look him in the eyes, and then I fall forward into him. He catches me by my shoulders and pushes me back slowly. One eyebrow raised he’s smirking. Oh, this must be hilarious to him. He must be beside himself.

        "Penelope,” he says looking behind me, “do you need a ride?” My head flips back, Penny’s biting her cheek, like it was really a hard decision. Maybe it was, I’d been trying to convince her that Baz was evil since the second month of our first year. She nods finally, and looks at me.

        "I, uh.. er, need a ride too,“ I say, looking back at Baz.

        He sneers, "Obviously.”

        He drops Penny off first, I try to get out of the car with her but he stops me with a look.

        "We need to talk.“

        I gulp down the lump in my throat. Why? I wanted to ask, About what?

        "Baz…” I say, not sure what to say. He doesn’t respond, doesn’t even look at me, his fists clenched on the wheel, eyes glued to the road. He continues driving until we’re on a stretch of highway surrounded by woods. The trees cast sinister shadows. He pulls to the side of the road and turns to look at me. I’m nervous, how could I not be? When was the last time I’d seen him look at me like this? Surely it hasn’t been since third year? Fifth?

        He leans in and his lips brush against mine, leaving a cool trail behind. My hand reaches up to cup his cheek, and I kiss him. It’s more than a feather kiss, and he seems taken aback. He grabs the hand I have on his face with his own and holds it there. His breathing is uneven. I open my eyes when he breaks away.

        "Crowley, Snow, how much did you drink?“

        I narrow my eyes, "Why does it matter?”

        "You taste horrible.“

        I laugh, and then kiss him again. He kisses me back and I think that this was the best mistake I’d ever made.


tiny / adjective

        I was 11 years old when the Mage collected me.

        He wasn’t an extremely tall man, 5'9” at the most, maybe. I should clarify, he seemed terribly tall on our first meeting. He was wearing a green tunic with a pair of forest green tights. His mustache was well kept, thin like pencil lead. His face was rounder than most men I’d seen, and he seemed on edge. Nervous, even.

        I hadn’t known what to make of him. He seemed like a modern day Robin Hood. Brave, and strong. I didn’t want to smile. I wasn’t accustomed to strange men coming to visit me. So I scowled at him, hoping maybe he’d leave. There was a pleasant smile over his lips, though. Playful even.

        He’d taken a seat on the old, wooden chair one of the ladies had brought in. His hands were folded across his lap and he stared at me as if he were waiting. Five minutes passed. Nothing. I stared back at him in silence. I didn’t talk much back then. I don’t think I would’ve said anything to him if he wouldn’t have broken the awkward quiet.

        "Hello,“ He said to me, cocking his head to the side, "nice to meet you…”

        "Um-er, Simon. I’m Simon.“ I said, throwing my hand towards him.

        He smiled again. I still hadn’t gotten his name, but I wasn’t sure how to ask him without sounding rude.

        "Simon,” he said at last, his expression melting into that of a man plagued by stress, stresses I couldn’t have dreamed of as a silly 11 year old, “I’m here to talk to you about what happened a few nights ago..”

        My stomach dropped. I should have known this was coming. I’d spoken to the police already.They’d wrung me dry of any information I’d had. I should have known that these people wouldn’t want me here. I’d caused enough destruction for their liking, it was time I was sent to a loony bin. Any person with an ounce of logic would agree.

        "I didn’t do it,“ I said immediately, defensively. This man would get a hefty helping of the truth today, I will not be made out to be some dangerous criminal. I had a record already, fights here and there. That’s the way things had to be though. I had to gain respect, or I would be stepped on. That’s the way the world worked.

        "I believe you, Simon,” he said, holding his hands up, “I know you didn’t do anything intentionally.”

        The way he’d said it made it sound as if he still suspected I was guilty.

        "Simon,“ he said, he seemed to be pondering what to say next. "Do you believe in magic?”

        "Magic?“

        "Magic,” he said it as if he used it in everyday conversation.

        "I- er… No.“

        The man pursed his lips, furrowing his brows, "What about…” he pulled a stick from a hidden pocket in his tunic, he held it up in the air, “now?” Sparks danced from the end of it, stars of red, green, and gold. I didn’t understand what I was seeing. “Up, up, and away.” he muttered. My bed lifted from the ground, sending me a few inches into the air. I gasped.

        "No way!“ I was grinning as I jumped down and walked around him, trying to find what his trick was. How was he doing it?!

        He chuckled, stopping the sparks and lowering the bed back into it’s place on the floor. "Simon,” he said my name seriously again, I could barely look up into his eyes. “You can do this too.”

        My eyes widened, “Huh?”

        "Simon,“ he grabbed my wrists so that we were face to face, "There is a school, Watford School of Magicks (??), you can learn how to use and control your magic there…”

        I wasn’t following. How did he figure I had any magic in me? Was there even such a thing as magic, really? “How d'you know I’m magic?”

        He sighed, and looked towards the closed door, “How do we know that the sun does not just close it’s eyes on us for night time to come?” I narrowed my eyes, what a strange question to answer my question with.

        "You are magical, Simon, the way that birds are meant to fly. The way that dogs are meant to bark, and fish to swim.“

        "I haven’t got any money,” I say, “to pay for tuition or books or,” the man held his hands up.

        "You need not worry about that, Simon.“ I swallow hard, "Now,” he said, but he stopped himself, as if he’d thought better of what he was going to say. He shook his head. “If you’re ready, Simon, I can escort you to Watford now.”

ubuntu / noun

        pure as your name

        and golden as the sun

        your moles are constellations

        against your skin,

        i love you.

        stardust,

        you’ve fallen,

        a broken piece of china

        and you’ve chosen me

        to gather up your pieces.

        you gave up your world

        to save mine.

        you project kindness

        stardust,

        and you took on a duty

        that was not yours to begin with.

        you had the weight of the world

        planted firmly on your shoulders

        and you held it

        and smiled anyways.

        i love you,

        stardust.


visceral / adjective

        Baz looked like an angel when he practiced violin. His eyes would close, the lashes casting shadows on his cheeks, and his lips would be parted, just a fraction of a centimeter, and he’d look so content, like the world wasn’t ending. Like one of us wasn’t going to die one day. He didn’t ever talk when he played, which is understandable. His full attention was focused on the song his fingers were creating.

        I wouldn’t have ever told him then, that he looked like some divine creature while he played. He was my enemy, always plotting and scheming against me. There was no reason to tell him that when he played I’d considered the possibility that we could live in the same world without tearing each other apart.

        He probably didn’t even know I was listening most of the time. I was never in the room with him.

        I never wanted to be. This Baz was a different one than I knew. He wasn’t the guy that made fun of me. He wasn’t the one that tried to kill me every chance that he got. I wasn’t scared of this Baz.

        At some point in our fifth year he’d started composing a new song. An original one. How did I know that, you may be asking? It was obvious. He plucked at the strings and tried different notes until he was content with the melody. Every night that he played he’d work on it for hours on end.

        It was a beautiful song, really, slow and rich. On more than one occasion I’d caught myself humming it. Not loudly, never consciously. Mostly whenever I was alone.

        There was only one time when someone caught it, actually. It was Baz. I’d just gotten out of the shower and was looking in my wardrobe when he made a noise almost like a gasp.

        "Where did you hear that song,“ he’d said.

        I looked at him, confused, "Hear what?”

        "Don’t play dumb,“ he scowled, "that song you were humming.”

        I blushed, I hadn’t even known I was humming.

        "I’m not sure,“ I lie. He rolls his eyes.

        "Whatever,” and then he storms out of the room.

        I’d forgotten about the song. Pushed it to the back of my mind. There were more important things to take up my mind, first The Humdrum. And then the whole civil war with the old families and dark creatures. And then the whole mess with the Mage… I’m not sure why it came back, or even how (I hadn’t heard the song in at least five years) but I started to hum it one night when I was with Baz.

        His head was on my lap, my fingers trailing through his hair, when he stiffened. I looked at his face to see what was up. He was staring up at me, a sad smile on his face.

        "What?“ I said.

        "Where did you hear that song?” Deja vu.

        "What song?“ I raise an eyebrow.

        "The song you were just singing, Simon.”

        I’m confused. My face must show it. He rolls his eyes and starts humming a tune that caresses my memories with feather fingertips.Then it hits me and I remember fifth year and that sad song Baz had written. I remember how it’d crept into my brain and nested itself there.

        I smile then, I can’t help it. The song, the Baz that wasn’t Baz. I saw him more and more every day now. He was my Baz.

        "In fifth year,“ I say looking back into his face, "I heard you writing it. I don’t know why but it stuck with me.”

        Baz laughs, “I wrote it for you,” his cheeks are rosy, “in fifth year. I wrote it when I decided I’d much rather kiss you than kill you.”

        It was my turn to blush, “A ballad for Simon Snow?” I say it as a joke.

        "I think I named it something like that, actually,“ he said, smiling.

        "I had no idea you were such a dork when I asked you out!”

        "You’re one to talk, Snow! Who remembers a horrible song for five years?“

        "It wasn’t horrible!” I’m not sure why, but I feel the need to defend it. It was my song.         

        He leans up to kiss me. Cold lips rushing with warm feelings. I love him.

        "Thank you,“ I say after awhile.

        "For what?” He’s got my hand in his and he’s regarding them.

        "The song.“

        He sighs, "Do you want to hear the proper song, before you thank me for such a silly thing?”

        "Yes!“ I say before he even gets the last word out.

        When he starts playing, his eyes close, and a small smile is tugging at his lips. The song starts out soft, slow. It picks up a bit and his brows push together in concentration. The song is as beautiful as I remember, and watching him play makes my knees weak. When he’s done I kiss him, again and again. All over his face, his jaw. And he kisses me back.

        "I love it. I love it and I love you.” I say against his lips.

        "I love you,“ he says.


wow / exclamation

        I remember once, before mother was murdered, I climbed a tree.

        It was in the middle of winter, the air was biting to the bone, and I’d decided that I wanted to touch the sky.

        The snow was thick on the ground. I remember I’d looked at it disdainfully. Disgusting, I’d thought. I put my boots on, careful to tuck my pants into them. Hopefully I’d make it back before anyone realized I wasn’t in my room. My coat was too high in the closet, so the thin sweater I’d been wearing was my only means of warmth.

        The tree in question sat a dozen feet away from the front door. It was the tallest one I’d ever seen so close, I hadn’t dared venture into the forest at that time. Father would kill me! My feet crunched against the snow, leaving little prints that I would try, and never get to, cover on my way back. The tree loomed high above me, the shadow it cast sinister.

        I guess I should start by saying that this tree was not nearly thick enough for someone to climb, three year old or not. I think I learned that day, that wanting to fly was no excuse to be a fucking twit, and absolutely no reason to try to climb a tree that I couldn’t even see the top of. I started at the two lowest branches.

        They weren’t even branches, really. Little stubs that’d once been branches, broken by the weight of heavy snow, or maybe I’d broken them on a previous climbing trial. They poked out maybe an inch, and ended in jagged splinters. I grabbed them, ignoring the sting of the snow on my bare flesh. It hadn’t mattered to me then, how cold it was. How cold I was.

        I hoisted myself up, using the stubs as footholds as I reached for the next branch. It was a slow process, my arms couldn’t handle much of holding up my own weight. Time wasn’t an issue once I’d been able to see the end of the drive. I was close, the sky was close.

        I stopped to catch my breath when I couldn’t see my footprints in the snow. I was sitting with my back facing open air, hugging the tree. This is wicked cool, I’d thought, I could probably touch the birds from here!

        "Basilton?!” The voice startled me. Mother?

        I look around, trying to spot her. She was standing in the front doorway, even from the distance I could tell something was wrong. Her shoulders were squared, she looked like she was about to jump up to drag me from my perch. I smiled though, I was excited, she was going to see me touch the sky!

        I waved enthusiastically, wildly. My tree swayed.

        "BASIL!“ Mother’s voice again, she sounded frightened.

        A series of things happened then, most of them jumbled in my memory.

        To sum it up:

        A snap, the world flying by faster than a rocket, the feeling of my stomach flying away through my nose, the ground rushing towards me, a loud BOOM, and then darkness.

        When I came to I was laying in a hospital bed.

        Everything hurt, it hurt to even open my eyes.

        I looked around the room, bare, smelling like cheap soap and sickness. I groaned at the light above me, my head hurt. My mother’s head whipped around. Eyes wide, face pale. Her eyebrows dipped towards her nose and she stared knives at me. Her anger was palpable.

        She didn’t say anything to me, maybe because she wasn’t sure whether I could speak or not. I blinked at her and tried for a smile, "Hello, mother.” She didn’t smile back.

        But her eyes started watering, and she squeezed me into a hug. Mother did things that surprised me all the time. Crying was one. She was shaking so much, I didn’t want to tell her she was hurting me.

        "What were you thinking?!“ She finally shrieked at me. I stared at her.

        "When?” I say. Her eyes narrowed, still watering.

        "You know why you’re here, right?“

        I shake my head.

        "Merlin, Basilton,” she shakes her head, sitting back and crossing her arms, “well, let me start by saying that I don’t know what could’ve given you such a stupid idea…” She trails off, looking at me. My eyes feel heavy again, but I want to know what I did. Why I was there. Why couldn’t I remember it?

        "You were climbing the tree,“ she said, I couldn’t stay awake, "and you-” I was out again.

        The next time I woke up, there was a nurse changing my bandages. They were on my head, it throbbed. His hands were cold, but they moved around carefully.

        "Hey there, l'il fella,“ he said, smiling when he realized I was awake. What was that accent? Irish, maybe. I look around the room, trying to find my mom. She wasn’t there. "That was a pretty nasty fall you had,” he said, looking at me seriously, “you’re lucky.”

        Lucky? I think. Lucky to be in pain? What had I done? What had I done? I’m surprised, then, when I remember I’m in a hospital. A Normal hospital. What had I done that was so bad I couldn’t be treated at home? Or by Dr. Wellbelove?

        I drift back to sleep.

        When I wake up again, I’m in my own room. It’s dark, and quiet. I twist my head around, surprised to find it was still sore.What did I do? Then I remembered. The tree. The sky, I’d wanted to touch the sky, to feel the clouds embrace me into their gentle embrace. I’d wanted to touch the sky so I’d climbed the tree but… What? Had the tree broken? Falling. I fell. Bits and pieces of a doctors conversation with mother, “concussion…” “keep him here to make sure there’s not trauma to his brain…” Concussion. Concussion. It makes sense now.


you/ pronoun

        I liked to hunt on nights when I could see the stars. The moon shone bright enough to light a path for me through the forest. Most of the time it was warm enough for me to leave my jacket in the car. The night hadn’t felt any different than it normally did. There was no unnatural, brisk breeze blowing. There wasn’t a stillness in the woods. It all felt the same, the animals were crushing leaves under quiet footsteps, the trees were talking to each other - swaying back and forth humming a melancholy melody.

        I felt like I could understand them, at least a little. I knew what the lonely ache felt like. I’d felt the stinging of a broken heart. My world darkened the moment Simon Snow died.

        He wasn’t Simon Snow, then. He’d taken my name when we married. Simon Snow-Pitch. It’d had a very mystical ring. Simon went fucking nuts over it.

        "Simon Snow-Pitch,“ he’d say to himself after a shower. And he’d smile every time, every fucking time.

        I’m done for the night. A doe and a squirrel. It takes a lot more to fill me up than it did then. My mouth has a metallic taste, and my lip feels swollen. I must’ve bit it.

        I’m moving through the woods loudly, hopefully I’ll startle any curious animals away. I stumble upon a clearing then. It’s one I’ve never seen before. It wasn’t very large, maybe the size of a garden. The grass looked yellow in the moonlight, and as my eyes passed over it, I saw a shadow shift.

        He sat up and stretched, his gaze in my general direction. He was 18, maybe 19. A curly mop of hair, and a heavy nose. I was surprised, at first. Surprised only, and then upset. Simon. It was Simon Snow. Well, no, his moles weren’t right, and he was petite. Smaller than Simon had been. He was Simon, otherwise. The toothy grin that split his face was like a ghost clawing it’s way up the back of my throat.

        "Hello,” he said. His voice was quieter than Simon’s.

        I don’t respond, I am too dumbfounded to form a coherent sentence. Simon, this was Simon.

        He stood up then, and took a step towards me, then another one. He was pushing his eyebrows together the way Simon used to when he was concentrating. His smile was gone now, and he looked mildly concerned. “Are you alright?”

        "’M fine,“ I force it through my teeth. He flinches. I must sound angry. I’m not angry, I’m confused, upset. How was this kid, this Simon-that-isn’t-really-Simon here, in front of me? Why the fuck did he look like him?

        I forced a smile onto my face, it wasn’t real, it didn’t reach my eyes. It was a politician’s smile, the kind my father had used. He didn’t seem to notice it was forced. He smiled back, and if I’d thought it possible I’d say this smile was wider than the last one. How could he smile like that at a stranger? Had Simon been that oblivious? Yes, yes he had. He takes another step towards me, and I step back. I can be courteous, but that’s as far as I want this to go.

        "I’m glad,” he said, tossing his hand towards me, “I’m Charles.” I regard it with disdain, his fingers are spindly like Simon’s were.

        He is not Simon.

        "Baz,“ I say, deciding against physical contact.

        "Baz,” he says, and he smiles like I’d just told him he would win the lotto next month. “Baz,” he says again, and hearing him say it brings back the feelings I’d pushed down after Simon was buried. “You know, I feel like we’ve met before,” He says, and he’s squinting up at me, as if the moonlight was enough to illuminate my face in his human eyes.

        I scoff, I can’t help it. What a load of hogwash. “That’s unlikely,” I say, and it is. I don’t see many humans (alive, blood pumping) outside of work. But he purses his lips and shakes his head.

        "No,“ he says finally, resting his chin in between his thumb and index finger, "I’m not usually wrong about these things… Maybe,” he stops, eyes widening at his own revelation, “maybe I knew you in a past life?!” I let the breath I’d been holding out. Reincarnation… That’s what he was implying. I think about it for a minute. Reincarnation, Simon being born again…

        Is that how it works? Do the souls of the deceased decide, Hey, I think I want to try life again, maybe die some other way, deal with some other shit. I’ll give it a shot because why the hell not. Do they choose what they look like, or is there some predetermined form that they have to take? Would his soul always look like an off-brand Simon, if that were the case?

        The last part brought on a lump in my throat. Thick and hot.

        I shake my head at the boy, “I don’t believe in reincarnation, Charles,” I turn on my heel and start to leave the clearing.

        There was no way in hell. It was a coincidence, obviously.

        Of course.

        Just a coincidence.

        "Nice meeting you,“ I add, before I pass through the trees.


zealous / adjective

        Simon Snow is obsessed with kissing me. He’ll point out the way I’ll stop talking, how my eyes will close and I’ll be still as a board, waiting, when he starts to lean in. But he’d never talk about the way that he’ll kiss me the moment his eyes open in the morning, and smile into it like he went to sleep just so he could wake up to kiss me again.

        He’d bring up the way that I give him goodbye kisses and welcome home kisses, but he’ll pretend that he doesn’t hug me from behind while I’m cooking and kiss my neck until I turn around to kiss his lips. He likes to think of excuses to kiss me, Oh, you had something on your lip Baz. I just wanted to make sure you hadn’t bit your lip, it looked like it was bleeding. You were concentrating pretty hard, I wanted to make sure you remembered my presence. (He hadn’t said the last one out loud, but he might as well have. He’s persistent while I’m paying my undivided attention to things.) He’d stolen a kiss on Christmas, under the mistletoe-that-wasn’t-mistletoe that’d been precariously hung above the bathroom door after I’d gone in to shower. He said it was totally coincidence, no way had he waited for me to close the door to hang it up, what are you even talking about, Baz?

        So I figured, to regain a little bit of my honor, I’d steal his first kiss of the new year.

        He agreed happily with me, when I’d asked if he’d stay up with me. It wasn’t that strange for us to be up past midnight anyways. It was hard to try to play oblivious when he’d started asking why.

        "You don’t normally ask me to stay awake with you, Baz,” he’d said, raising an eyebrow.

        I shrugged, crossing my legs as I sat back on the couch. “Just wanted to go into the new year with you, Snow.” Simon raised his eyebrows. I knew what he was thinking. What a line, how lame. I thought it was pretty lame too, but he just smirked and leaned in so that his face was right next to mine.

        "I’m always up for new beginnings with you, babe.“

        I closed my eyes, his breath was hot against my cheek.

        "You’re so lame,” I say, pushing a hand between us to get his face away from mine.

        "You’re one to talk,“ he’s smiling at me, and I love him. I love the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles. He kisses my jaw and stands up, "What do you want for dinner?”

        I decided to take Simon out on New Years. I buy tickets to go view the fireworks as soon as I decide that I want to. There weren’t any decent areas left, but really, what was I expecting? It was nearly Christmas Eve by the time I’d finally purchased them. I’d hoped he wouldn’t mind. Everything else would be perfect, no doubt about it.

        Except it wasn’t. Everything was going wrong.

        We were still waiting to get into the parking lot at 11:51.

        Simon was smiling, the way he always smiles. It was like he was fine with sitting in the car, like it was fine that the whole fucking date was falling through. I was frustrated. Why did my luck have to take a shit on this night? It was almost laughable, really.        

        "So, how’s your day been?“ He said, breaking the awkward tension that I’d formed.

        The corner’s of my lips twitched, "Fine. And yourself?”

        "It’s been alright,“ he reaches his hand over to grab mine. I let him take it, and look at him out of the corner of my eyes. He looks brilliant tonight, a pair dark of jeans (that actually fit him) and a light sweater that shows off his muscular shoulders. Fucking perfect, despite his messy curls and his silly scarf that Penelope got him for Christmas. (It had penguins all over it. What else am I supposed to tell him other than "You look like a 9-year-old wearing that.” Although, I’m sure any children who’d actually have to wear such a weird scarf wouldn’t be grinning the way Simon does.) “Glad I get to end it with you.”

        11:55. We should have left earlier.

        "Some traffic, huh?“

        "Horrific.” I sigh, shifting gears again. I look over at him then, I’m not sure what prompts me to do it, but I’m glad I do. He’s watching me, turned completely sideways in his seat.

        "What?“ He’s making me self-conscious.

        He shakes his head, and continues to stare at me. "You look beautiful in this light.”

        I narrow my eyes, what does that mean?

        His eyes widen, “ I didn’t mean it like, offensively, you just look really relaxed right now.”

        I almost scoff, was that a joke? I didn’t feel relaxed.

        11:58. No one else is in front of us, but I don’t want to be in front of people right now.

        I pull off of the road, turn the car off and unbuckle my seatbelt. My full attention is on Snow.

        11:59. He looks at my lips, and then up into my eyes. I grab his face with both of my hands and pull myself forward.

        12:00. Our lips smash and I smile into the kiss. I can hear the fireworks going off. I stole his first kiss this year.

        12:02. I break the kiss because I feel like I need to.

        Simon’s eyes are still closed and his cheeks are burning. I bite my cheek and cover my face. His eyes blink open quickly and he’s staring at me with one eyebrow raised. I look away, embarrassed.

        "Baz…“ he says, but I don’t look at him, I’m opening my door and climbing from the car.

        "Come on, Snow, before we miss the whole show,” and I leave my car on the side of the road to find a decent place to watch the fireworks.

        Simon sprints to catch up with me, and he grabs my hand and turns me towards him (with all of his might, it seems). He jerks me into a kiss. This one I wasn’t prepared for. “Happy New Year, Snow,” I say against the kiss. I feel him smile, and I can’t help but smile in return.

        "Call me Simon, Baz.“

        (The morale of the story is, don’t waste your money on tickets to see fireworks when you have Simon Snow as a boyfriend. The odds are you’ll be too busy kissing to even watch them.)

( @liquorice-inbangkok : beta. Also author of "Hands” and the person behind 87% of the flirting between them)