but y'all are always there with me

I’m on my death bed, my husband luke standing beside me, with tears in his cerulean eyes. I cough hoarsely through a dry throat. My time to go is coming, I can feel it. Luke sniffles, and I weakly reach to caress his face with my palm. He inches closer, the warm life in his body meeting my own clammy hand. I smile softly, and with the final energy left in my body I whisper: “Tell Jack I’ve always loved him.” I die.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my lifetime it’s that physically disabled people are only “strong” and “courageous” in the eyes of others when they keep their mouths shut about their struggles.

Like it’s all well and good when I keep my problems to myself but the second I allude to the fact that it’s not always easy to live this way, able-bodied people flock from near and far to tell me that “it could be worse” and call my realistic concerns a “pity party” and it gets tiring tbh.

i’m so grateful for all of you, and i’m just kind of overwhelmed with love about it?? thank you for letting me be your feral friend, for letting me mom you, and for just keeping my sane (most days) 


It’s my 1 year anniversary on here! A year ago today Christina christened me Spatzi. And it feels like it was yesterday when this happened. I still remember sitting at the beach that day in Dubai and talking with these two girls over anon messages. And I still know how excited I was when we started becoming really close. 

And it feels like no time has gone by since I met you two! 

So thank you for adopting me and allowing me to be a part of this big family on here! I have met some amazing people over the past year through being on this blog and it’s made me the happiest girl ever. 

Thank you for everything!
Christina and my kitty, you will always be my closest friends on here. And I love you both to bits!
You two will forever be my older twin sister from across the world and my one and only kitty-cat! ! I love you two! My girls! 

Thank you for loving me back! And thank you for everything that you’ve done for me over the past year! 

And to all the other people i’ve made friends with over this past year: THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME! And thank you for letting me know that you’ll always be there for me. Y’all are the best friends anyone could ever ask for. 


And I am looking forward to meeting even more beautiful people to share my life with on here!

man i hate kpop so much. give me my life back

oh wow look at that supposed to be majestic graphic that turned into a mess

i have like 244 of you now and it’s funny bc i just had Azrael for a month or so I think? i thank you all for staying with me during hard times and for understanding me and my craziness. it’s been a hella lot of trouble to have an angelic muse but bc of some people i have more knowledge in angelic stuffs. always feel free to throw a stone in my head and say ‘hey fucktard i have an idea for our muses’. i will actually love u forever and ever. here’s to hoping for another milestone to reach.  xoxo

the archdouches

outcage my lulu, the reason why i woke up my azrael muse and why azrael is here with y’all today. this shit is my bff, my other dick half, the traf to my doflamingo and the cherry to my pie or whatever sweet shit. one day we will meet and the whole world will explode.
corruptedenigma here we see a beautiful person, my muse’s nephew and mun is so great and nice. i love their dean so much and wow such a great writer.
chuckxalmighty you promised we’d go to disneyland. i don’t have much God rp partner but this one is hella rad. one of the few people that is stuck with me from the beginning

illusionofwill we played cah once and it was awesome. i love all your headcanons and i’m sorry if i just drop our threads out of nowhere (have some cake as an apology). ilu and mickey v much
fraxdulenti/ laxchra *opens arms wide* mahal kita, friend. sorry if i haven’t texted you in a while. i might send a raven/crow with a letter bc technology hates me a lot. have some thank you cupcakes from az. also stay awesome friend.
thatotherwinchesterwarrior mun has been with me even before i rped Az. (Tatia misses Sam tbh) and the mun is so nice, I love them with all my shattered heart and they have a special place in my heaven. Thank you for interacting my OC’s, bab.~
last but not the least, thecoolestgirlinallofhell, boops your cutie face. thank you for tolerating me a lot and sharing me some angsty moments. have my firstborn. you’re too cool for me brah.

the frenchfries to my burgers

a.k.a. people i get excited about

unholyhost unrighteouskiller thatwinchesterwarrior angelusxsecretorum pridefulmorningstar notwrath rebelliions weightedtorment/stillcas fxrstmurder ofaraven ofheavensfire notfamiily jamaisgrandi

the cinnamon rolls too pure for this world

a.k.a. the people i stalk and admire from a great distance

firstviceroy notamailman gavemytrust dearxemmanuel talentforlying ofmessages imprxdent aveuglx humaniiism devilsnotary

special mention to keira who found me~ reinainfierno i missed u bby!!

my parents have always been able to help me. they helped me through undergrad (though now i refuse to let them help me through grad school because i’m a Real Adult now) and i honestly thought every other college kid in america was like me. 

when my roommate starting freaking out how she wouldn’t be able to make a payment, i shrugged and told her to borrow from her parents. she told me that her parents didn’t have anything to lend her. my world was turned upsidedown after that and i realized what kind of privilege i had been given. yes, my dad is a mexican immigrant who worked his ass off, but that doesn’t mean that families who don’t have the means that mine do aren’t hard-working.

if your family has a lot of money and helps you out, that’s great. but acknowledge that not everyone gets that opportunity. and more importantly, don’t tell people who don’t have much money to just ‘work harder’ when you’ve never had to balance full time school and full time work.

today in truths the @nti-regin@ folks don’t wish to acknowledge: if emma “found out” about graham (in the unlikely event she hasn’t already put those pieces together, which… side eye, but ok) her opinion of regina wouldn’t change, there would be no face heel turn, she watched regina try to murder her own mother and still believed in her for crying out loud

((Go and kick some good hard arse, peeps! 

If things weigh you down, there’s always solutions to help you up again. And whatever you do, keep being you!

You deserve good times and wonderful days, and they do come even in hard times, trust me. ^u^

And for cripes’ sake, Stan, put up the slightest hint of a smile, will you? Do it for your fellow everyones out there.))