but wow why would you type that

history of the entire world, i guess; a transcript

hi. you’re on a rock, floating in space. pretty cool, huh? some of it’s water. fuck it, actually most of it’s water. i can’t even get from here to there without buying a boat. it’s sad. i’m sad. i miss you. how did this happen? a long time ago, actually never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. when? never. makes sense, right? like i said, it didn’t happen. nothing was never anywhere. that’s why its been everywhere. it’s been so everywhere, you don’t need a “where”. you don’t even need a “when”. that’s how “every” it gets. (pause). forget this. i wanna be something, go somewhere, do something. i want things to change. i want to invent time and space. and i know it’s possible because everything is here and it probably already happened. i just don’t know when to start. and that’s exactly where it started. (background noise) woah. i… paused it. i think there’s a universe now. what’s it made of? quarks and stuff. ah, that’s a thing, in a place. don’t like it? try a new place, at a different Time™. try to stick together because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier. but it’s not empty yet. it’s still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees. (about no seconds later). great news! the quarks are now happily married in groups of three called a “proton” or a “neutron”. and there’s something else flying around too that wants to join in but can’t cause it’s still to (HOT). (about ten minutes later). great news! the protons and the neutrons are now happily married to each other (some of them even doubled up). (about 380,000 years later). great news, the electrons have now joined in. congratulations, the world is now a bunch of gas in space. but it’s getting closer together and it’s getting closer together and it’s getting closer together. it’s a staaaar. new shit just got made. some stars burn out and die. bigger stars burn out and die with passion! and make some brand new way crazier shit. space dust! which allows newer, more interesting stars to be made, and then die, and explode into even crazier space dust. so now stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things. like this ball of flaming rocks, for example. holy shit, we just got hit with another ball of flaming rocks, and it kinda made a mess. which is now the moon. weather update: it’s raining rocks from outer space. weather update: those rocks might’ve had water inside them and now there’s Hot Steam in the sky. weather update: cooler temperatures today, and the floor is no longer lava. weather update: its raining. severe flooding alert: the entire world is now an ocean. volcano alert: that’s land. there’slifeintheocean. what? something’s alive in the ocean. oh cool, like a plant or an animal? no. a microscopic speck! it lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup which is being served hot and fresh made from gnarly space ingredients leftover from when it was raining rocks or whatever. oh yeah, and it can do that. it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself. so that’s pretty nifty, i would say. tired of living at the bottom of the ocean? now you can eat sunlight. using a revolutionary technique you can convert sunlight into food. taste the sun. side effect: now there’s oxygen everywhere and the sky’s blue. then the earth might’ve been a snowball for a while, maybe even a coupla times. it’s a sponge, it’s a plant, it’s a worm and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish. it’s the Cambrian explosion. “wow, that’s animals and stuff.” but we’re still in the ocean. hey, can we go on land? NoO. why? the sun is a deadly lazer. oh okay. not anymore there’s a blanket. now the animals can go on land. come on, animals, let’s go on land! “nope, can’t walk yet. and there’s no food yet so i don’t care.” (100 million years later) ok, will you learn to walk if there’s plants up here? “maybe,” said some bugs, and fish. “uh. uh. uh.” (five million years later) “ok so i can go on land but i have to go back in the water to have babies.” (idea) learn to use an egg. “i was already doing that.” use a stronger egg, and put water in it, have a baby, on land, in an egg. water is in the egg, baby, in the water, in the egg. works for me. bye bye ocean. aaand now everything is huge. including bugs. wanna see a map of the land? sure. ah fuck, now everything’s dead. just kidding here are the survivors. keep your eye on this one because its about to become the dinosaurs. here’s another map of the land. yeah, it broke apart, don’t worry about it, it does that all the time. here comes a meteor. and the dinosaurs are gone. its mammal time! here come the mammals. look at those breasts. now they’re gonna dominate the world, and one of them just learned how to grab stuff. and walk. no, like, walk like ‘that’. and grab stuff at the same time. and bang rocks together to make… pointed rocks. “ouch.” and set things on fire. “yeouch.” and make crazy sounds with their voice (“gneurshk.”) which can mean different things. that’s a human person. and now they’re everywhere, almost. ice age. what? you can walk over here? cool. not anymore. i guess we’re stuck here now.

let’s review. there’s people on the planet. and they’re chasing their food. fuck it, time to plant some grass. look at this, i control the food now. now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me. let’s all build houses except mine is bigger because i own the food. this is great, i wonder if anyone else is doing this. tired of using rocks for everything? use metal. it’s underground. better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers, and the animals are helping. guess what happens next. more food, and more people who came to buy the food. now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales. and now you need houses for people to live in, and people to make the houses. and now there’s more people and they invent things, which makes things better and more people come. and there’s more farming and more people to make more things for more people. and now there’s business, money, writing, laws, power. sociiiety. coming soon to a dank river valley near you. meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed. why is all my metal so lame and lumpy? tired of using lame, sad metal? introducing bronze, made with special ingredient tin from the far lands of tin land. i don’t know, my dealer won’t tell me where he gets it. also, guess what - egypt. meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse. now we’re getting somewhere. also, china. and did i mention indusrivervalleycivilization. norte chico. the middle east is getting more complicated, maybe because it’s in the middle of the east. knock knock- er, clop clop, it’s the people with the horses? and they made an empire! and then everyone else copied their horses. greeks! ah look, it must be the greeks, or a beta version of the greeks. let’s check in with the indus river valley civilization. they’re gone. guess who’s not gone? china. new arrivals in india. maybe it’s thosehorsepeopleiwastalkingabout or theircousinsorsomething. and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff. you could make a religion out of this. there’s the bronze age collapse. now the phoenicians can get down to business. also, can we switch to a metal that’s a little easier to find? thanks. look who came back to israel, it’s the twelve tribes of israel. and they believe in god. just one though, he’s got like a ten step program. here’s some huge heads, must be the olmec. the phoenicians make some colonies. the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies. the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies. here comes the assyrian empire. nevermind it’s the babylonian- median- it’s the persian empire. “wow, that’s big.” ah, the buddha was just enlightened! who’s the buddha? this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we’re all dying. you could make a religion out of this. oops, china just broke, but while it was breaking confucius was figuring out how to have good morals. ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff. and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire. it’s a great idea, he was…great. and now he’s dead. hopefully, the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them. knock knock, it’s chandragupta, he says, “get the hell out of here, will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants? ok thanks bye; time to conquer all of india- or most of india”. but what about this part? that’s the tamil kings, no one conquers the tamil kings. who are the tamil kings? merchants, probably. and they’ve got spices. who would like to buy the spices? “me,” said the arabians, swiftly buying them and selling them to the rest of the world. hey, china put itself back together again with good morals as their main philosophy. actually they have three main philosophies. out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city. let’s check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms: greekification overload! “bye,” said the parthians, “bye,” said the jews. “hi,” said the parthians, taking over the entire place. “heyyyyyyyy,” said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast. “thanks for invading our homeland,” said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland. “hi, everything’s great,” said some guy who seems to be getting very popular, and then gets arrested and killed for being too popular, which only makes him more popular. you could make a religion out of this. want silk? now you can buy it from china! they just made a brand new road to the world…or you can get there on water. “sick, new trade routes,” said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast. hmm, that’s a good place for an epic trading kingdom. there goes buddhism, travelling up the silk road. i wonder if it’ll reach china before it collapses again. “remember the persian empire? yup,” said the persians, making a new one. axum is getting so powerful they would like to build a long stick. has anyone populated madagascar yet? let’s do it together. china is whole again…then it broke again. still can’t cross the sahara desert? try camels. “hell yeah, now we’ve got business,” said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold, and slaves. “hi i live in the roman empire and i was wondering, is loving jesus legal yet?” “no” “actually ok sure,” said constantine, moving the capitol way over here to be closer to his main rival. don’t worry about rome, it won’t fall. it’s the golden age of india. there’s the gupta empire. not chandragupta, just gupta, first name chandra, the first. guess who’s in rome? barbarians. what’s a barbarian? “non-romans,” said the romans, being invaded by non-romans. r.i.p. roman empire. or actually, just half is just fine. but it’s not in rome anymore so let’s give it a new name. the mayans have figured out the staaars. oh, and here’s a huge city, population everyone. the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe. great job, göktürks. how’s india? broken. how’s china? back together. how’s those trading kingdoms? bigger, and there’s more of them. korea has three kingdoms. japan has a kingdom, it’s the sunrise kingdom.

deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammad’s ear, so he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods, and he tells them their gods are all fake. and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town. you could make a religion out of this. and maybe conquer the world as well. the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope. plus there’s new kingdoms all over europe. i wonder if there’s room for moors. here’s all the wisdom, in a house. it’s the baghdad house of wisdom, just in time for the islamic golden age. “let’s bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast,” said the swahili on the swahili coast. remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there? someone owns that now. wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere? the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas. “surprise, you’re the new roman emperor,” said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire. then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not france. the northerners, or just norse if you don’t have that much time, are exploring. they go north, from the north to the northern north, and they find some land. two types of land, and they name them accordingly. they also invade some other places and get called many names, such as vikings. there’s the rus, the kievan rus. are they vikings? “i don’t think so,” said the kievan rus. ok, fair enough. the pope is ready to make some more emperors of the roman empire, the holy roman empire. it’s actually germany but don’t worry about it. new kingdoms! christianizeallthekingdoms. which brand would you like? “mine’s better,” “mine’s better,” “mine’s better”. “time to conquer england,” said william. it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s the seljuk turks. “ahh!” said the byzantine empire, who’s getting so small it almost doesn’t exist anymore, “we need help!” they need help, so they call the pope. “hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks? maybe take back the holy land on the way? come on, i know you wanna take back the holy land.” “yes, i do actually want to do that. let’s do a crusade.” crusade. they did many crusades, some of which almost didn’t fail, but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals. goodbye mayans. hello toltecs, goodbye toltecs, hello mississippi. look at those mounds. there’s the pueblo. i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff. guess who’s here? khmer. where? here, and pagan is there, and vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government. china just invented bombs, and typing. and the mongols just invaded most of the universe. nice going, genghis. i bet that will last a long time! some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india. is it tonga time? i think it’s tonga time. i just found out where the swahili gets all their gold. look at this chad (means lake), there’s an empire there, right in the middle of africa. the king of mali is so rich he’s going on tour to let everyone know. “wow, that guy’s rich,” everyone said. the christians are doing a great job of conquering iberia which will soon be called spain and not spain. please remain christian. we will check in later to see if you are still christian when you least expect. whoops, half of europe just died. ming. china’s back, yay. hey khmer, time to share, new kingdoms here and there. oh look who controls all the islands, its the mahajapit. majahapit, mapajahit, mahapajit, mapajahit, majapahit? oh, italy’s really rich, time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics. it’s kinda like a rebirth. here’s a printer, lets make books. so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire? “yep,” said the ottoman turks. nice job, ottoman turks. whoops, you missed a spot; don’t forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade. “what? that’s bullshit,” said portugal, spiceless. well i guess we’ll have to find another way to india. “wait,” said christopher colombus, probably smoking crack, “if the world is round, lets go this way to india!” “nah, don’t worry we already got this,” said portugal. so chris goes to spain. “hey spain, wanna hire me to go find india by going around back of the world?”  “no.”  “please?”  “no.”  “please?”  “no.” “please?” “ok.” so he sails into the ocean, and discovers more ocean, and then discovers ‘the indies’ and ‘japan’. let’s draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world. the aztec and inca empires are off to a great start. i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent. the habsburgs are marrying into so many royal families they might have to start marrying each other. move over lithuania, here comes moscow. ivan wants to make russia great again. move over timurids, maybe go invade india or something. persia just made persia persian again. let’s make it the other kind of islam, the one where we thought the first guy should’ve been the other guy. hey christians, do you sin? now you can buy your way out of hell. “that’s bullshit, this whole thing is bullshit, that’s a scam, fuck the church, here’s 95 reasons why,” said martin luther, in his book which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation. “you know what would be magnificent?” said suleiman, wearing an onion hat, “what if the ottoman empire was really big, which it is now.”  “what if russia was big,” said ivan, trying not to be terrible. portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade, and then that dream was real. and spain realised that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway. “damn,” said england and france, “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” then the dutch revolt and all the hipsters move to amsterdam. “damn,” said amsterdam, “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” question one: can you get to india through north america? no, but at least there’s beaver. question two: steal the spice trade. that’s not a question but the dutch did it anyway. sugar. guess where all the sugar’s made? in brazil. stolen! in the carribean, and it’s so goddamn profitable you might forget to not do slavery. the next thing on russia’s to-do list is to get bigger. britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world, more specifically, ohio. then it escalates into a seven year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who’s boss. but what about britain and france, did they figure out who’s boss? yes they did, it’s britain. guess who’s broke? also britain. so they start taxing the hell out of america.

“fuck you,” says america, declaring their independence, and fighting for it. france helps them win, now france is broke. and britain will have to send their prisoners to a different continent. wait if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses? “let’s overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off!” said robespierre, cutting everybody’s head off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off. you could make a reli- no don’t. haiti is starting to like the idea of a revolution, especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters. “why didn’t we think of this before?” wait, who’s in charge of france now? “me,” said napoleon, trying to take over europe. luckily, they banished him to an island. but he came back. luckily, they banished him to another island. there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin america wars of independence. britain just figured out how to turn steam into power, so now they can make many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast. then they invent some trains, and conquer india and maybe put some trains there. “hey china,” said britain, “buy stuff from us.” “nah, dude we already got everything,” says china. so britain tried to get them addicted to opium, which worked actually, but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea. so britain threw a hissy-fit and made them open up five cities and give them an island. britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop each other from conquering afganistan. also the sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now, that’s just where he lives. india had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now. “nope,” said britain, governing them even harder than before. technology is about to go crazy. the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad. “it’s bad,” they decided. and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land, and maybe kick out the mexicans too. “i know, let’s rape africa,” said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest. they never got ethiopia.  britain and france are still hungry. they never got thailand. the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they’re looking for more. hawaii. cuba. wait spain controls cuba. “well, blame something on them and go to war! what should we blame on them? let’s blame the maine on spain!” so they blame the maine on spain. now we’re in business. to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans. britain just found oil in the middle east. it makes cars go. china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and controlled by a guy from the previous government. europe hasn’t had a war since the last war, so they start world war one. look at those guns. it’s gonna be a great war, so great we won’t need a second one. after it’s over, they blame germany. russia went on strike and the workers overthrew the government. now everyone’s paycheck is the same. communism, in the soviet union. the arabs revolt, and britain helps. now the ottoman empire is gone, so we can give the jewish people a place to live. hopefully the arabs won’t mind. “let’s cut the cake,” said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore empire. except turkey, turkey makes a brand new turkey. and then the saudis conquer arabia. it just seemed like the right thing to do. hello? yes, it’s the 1920s calling. let’s get in a car and drive to a party and listen to the jazz on the radio and go to the movies. the economy’s great and it’ll probably be great forever. just kidding. germany’s back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model. he’s mad at the jews for existing. japan is finally conquering the east, and they’re so excited they rape nanking way too hard. they should probably just deny it. hitler’s out of control, so the international community tackles him and tries to explain to him why killing all the jews is a bad idea, but he kills himself before they could explain it to him. that’s world war two. bonus round: pacific showdown, united states versus japan. fight! finish him. let’s unite all the nations and have some world peace. seems legit. “hi i’m gandhi and if britain doesn’t get the hell out of india i’m going to starve myself in public. wow, that worked?” bonus: now there’s pakistan. actually two pakistans. one of them can be bangladesh later. the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land. “me”, they both said at the same time. “let’s divide up the land so everyone’s happy.” sike! they both get angrier. look out china, there’s a new china in china. what’s on the menu? communism! “no thanks,” said the other china, escaping to an island. i wonder which one is the real china. there’s the korean war, korea versus korea, nobody wins, then it’s on pause forever. let’s meet the sponsors. oh, it’s the two global superpowers. they’re having a friendly debate over which economic system is good and which is an evil virus of satan. and they both have atom bombs. fight! wait no that would be the end of the world. let’s just keep it cool and spy on each other instead. and make sure we have enough atom bombs. “i’ll race you to space. now let’s make some more countries fight themselves.” europe is tired of pillaging other continents, so the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged. so here’s a new map, with new countries. now you can’t tell who they’re being pillaged by. the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad. they decided it’s bad, and the world agrees. south africa might need another minute to think about it. let’s check the world population. woah. okay. technology’s better too, that might keep happening. the soviet union decides to relax a little and accidentally falls apart. europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money; except britain because they don’t feel like it. let’s check the mail. surprise! it’s on the computer! whoops, someone just attacked america, i bet they’ll remember that. phone call, surprise, it’s in your pocket! wanna learn everything? surprise, it’s on the computer! now your phone’s a computer, which is in your pocket. whoops, the economy just crashed. don’t worry, the big banks won’t fail, because they’re not supposed to. surprise, flying robots! with bombs. wanna print a brain? some people have no friends. some people have no food. the globe is warming, and the ocean is full of plastic. “let’s save the planet,” said everybody, not knowing how. “let’s invent a thing inventor,” said the thing inventor inventor, after being invented by a thing inventor. that’s pretty cool. by the way, where the hell are we?

psychic: reads my mind
me: hi, you’re on a rock floating in space. pretty cool, huh? some of it’s water. fuck it. actually, most of it’s water. i can’t even get from here to there without buying a boat. it’s sad. i’m sad. i miss you.
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
a long time ago… actually, never. and also now. nothing is nowhere. when? never. makes sense, right? like i said, it didn’t happen. nothing was never anywhere. that’s why it’s been everywhere. it’s been so “everywhere,” you don’t need a “where.” you don’t even need a “when.” that’s how “every” it gets.
forget this. i wanna be something. go somewhere. do something. i want things to change. i want to invent time and space. and i know it’s possible because everything is here, and it probably already happened. i just don’t know when to start.
and that’s exactly where it started.
big bang— pause
woah. i paused it. i think there’s a universe now. what’s it made of? quarks and stuff. ah, that’s a thing! in a place! don’t like it? try a new place, at a different Time™. try to stick together, because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier. but it’s not empty yet! it’s still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees.
about no seconds later
great news! the quarks are now happily married in groups of three, called a “proton” and a “neutron.” and there’s something else flying around that wants to join in, but can’t cause it’s too HOT.
ten minutes later
great news! the protons and neutrons are now happily married to each other! some of them even doubled up.
about 380,000 years later
great news! the electrons have now joined in. congratulations! the world is now… a bunch of gas in space. but it’s getting closer together…
ten million years later
and it’s getting closer together…
500 million years later
and it’s getting closer togeth—
star is born
it’s a star
new shit just got made!
some stars burn out and die. bigger stars burn out and die with passion! and make some brand new way crazier shit.
space dust!
which allows for newer and more interesting stars to be made, and then die and explode into even crazier space dust!
so now, stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things. like this ball of flaming rocks, for example.
meteor hits earth
holy shit, we just got hit by another ball of flaming rocks. and it kind of… made a mess. which is now the moon
weather update: it’s raining rocks from outer space.
weather update: those rocks might’ve had water inside of them and now there’s hot steam in the sky.
weather update: cooler temperatures today and the floor is no longer lava.
weather update… it’s raining.
severe flooding alert, the entire world is now an ocean.
volcano alert.
that’s land!
there'slifeintheocean
what?
something’s alive in the ocean
oh, cool. like a plant, or an animal? no! a microscopic speck. it lives in the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup, which is being served hot and fresh, made from gnarly space ingredients left over from when it was raining rocks or whatever.
microscopic speck asexually reproduces
oh yeah, and it can do that.
reproduces three more times
it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself. so that’s pretty nifty, i would say.
tired of living at the bottom of the ocean?
now you can eat sunlight!
using a revolutionary technique, you can convert sunlight into food.
taste the sun!
side effect, now there’s oxygen everywhere and the sky is blue.
then the earth might’ve been a snowball for a while. maybe even a couple of times.
it’s a sponge… it’s a plant… it’s a worm, and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish.
it’s the Cambrian explosion: “wow, that’s animals and stuff”
but we’re still in the ocean. hey, can we go on land?
NO
why?
the sun is a deadly laser
oh okay.
not anymore, there’s a blanket
now the animals can go on land. come on, animals, let’s go on land!
“nope, can’t walk yet.”
“and there’s no food yet, so i don’t care.”
100 million years later
okay, will you learn to walk if there’s plants up here?
“maybe,” said some bugs. and fish.
fish gasps for air
five million years later
okay, so i can go on land, but i have to go back in the water to have babies!
idea: learn to use an egg.
“i was already doing that”
use a stronger egg. put water in it. have a baby, on land, in an egg. water is in the egg. baby, in the egg, in the water, in the egg.
works for me. bye bye ocean
50 million years later
and now everything’s huge. including bugs.
wanna see a map of the land? sure.
Permian extinction
oh, fuck, now everything’s dead.
just kidding, here are the survivors. keep your eye on this one, because it’s about to become
75 million years later
the dinosaurs.
here’s another map of the land. yeah, it broke apart. don’t worry about it, it does that all the time. here comes a meteor.
meteor strikes
and the dinosaurs are gone
it’s mammal time, here come the mammals. look at those breasts.
now they’re gonna dominate the world, but one of them just learned how to grab stuff. and walk. no, like, walk like that. and grab stuff at the same time. and bang rocks together to make pointed rocks.
“ouch”
and set things on fire.
“yeouch”
and make crazy sounds with their voice:
“gneurshk”
which can mean different things.
that’s a human person!
and now they’re everywhere. almost.
ice age!
what? you can walk over here? cool.
not anymore
well i guess we’re stuck here now.
let’s review: there’s people on the planet. and they’re chasing their food.
fuck it. time to plant some grass.
look at this. i get to control the food now. now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me. let’s all build houses, except mine is bigger because i own the food.
this is great! i wonder if anyone else is doing this.
tired of using rocks for everything? use metal. it’s underground.
better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers, and the animals are helping.
guess what happens next?
more food. and more people, who came to buy the food. now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales. and now you need houses for people to live in and people to make the houses and now there’s more people and they invent things which makes things better and more people come and there’s more farming and more people to make more things for more people and now there’s business, money, writing, laws, power,
Society
coming soon to a dank river valley near you.
meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed.
why is all my metal so lame and lumpy?
tired of using lame, sad metal? introducing: bronze. made from special ingredient tin from the far lands of Tin Land. i dunno, my dealer won’t tell me where he gets it. also, guess what?
egypt
meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse. now we’re getting somewhere. also,
china
and did i mention
indus river valley civilization
society count: 5

norte chico
the middle east is getting more complicated. maybe because it’s in the middle of the east.
knock knock, er, clop clop. it’s the… people with the horses? and they made an empire. and then everyone else copied their horses.
greeks!
ah look, it must be the greeks! er, a beta version of the greeks.
let’s check in with the indus river valley civilization: they’re gone. guess who’s not gone? china.
new arrivals from india… maybe it’s those horse people i was talking about… or their cousins or something…
and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff…
you could make a religion out of this.
there’s the bronze age collapse.
now the phoenicians can get down to business
also, can we switch to a metal that’s a little easier to find? thanks.
look who came back to israel, it’s the twelve tribes of israel.
and they believe in God
just one though, and he’s got like a ten-step program.
here’s some huge heads. must be the olmecs.
the phoenicians make some colonies. the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies. the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies.
here comes the assyrian empire. never mind, it’s the babyloni— media—
it’s the Persian Empire: “wow, that’s big”
enlightenment
ah, the buddha was just enlightened. who’s the buddha? this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we’re all dying. you could make a religion out of this.
oops, china just broke. but while it was breaking, confucius was figuring out how to have good morals.
enlightenment
ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff.
and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire. it’s a great idea. he was… great. and now he’s dead. hopefully, the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them.
knock knock, it’s chandragupta. he says “get the hell out of here. will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants? okay, thanks, bye”
time to conquer all of india
er
most of india
but what about this part? that’s the tamil kings. no one conquers the tamil kings. who are the tamil kings? merchants, probably. and they’ve gotspices!
who would like to buy the spices? “me!” said the arabians, swiftly buying it and selling it to the rest of the world.
hey, china put itself back together again, with good morals as their main philosophy. actually, they have three main philosophies:
confucianism: have good morals
taoism: go with the flow
legalism: fuck you, obey the law
out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city.
nomads ransack china
let’s check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms: greekification overload.bye, said the parthians. bye, said the jews. hi, said the parthians, taking over the entire place.
heyyyyy, said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast. “thanks for invading our homeland,” said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland.
“hi, everything’s great,” said some guy who seems to be getting very popular and is then arrested and killed for being too popular, which actually makes him more popular. you could make a religion out of this.
want silk? now you can buy it from china. they just made a brand new road to the world.
conquers vietnam
or you can get there on water
“sick! new trade routes!” said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast.
hmm, that’s a good place for an epic trading kingdom.
there goes buddhism, travelling up the silk road. i wonder if it’ll reach china before it collapses again.
remember the persian empire? yep, said the persians, making a new one.
axum is getting so powerful, they would like to build a long stick.
has anyone populated madagascar yet? let’s do it together.
china is whole again…
…then it broke again
still can’t cross the sahara desert? try camels.
“hell yeah! now we’ve got business,” said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold. and slaves.
“hi, i’m a member of the roman empire, and i was wondering
is loving jesus legal yet?”
“no”
“actually, okay sure,” said constantine, moving the capital way over here to be closer to his main rival. don’t worry about rome, it won’t fall.
it’s the golden age of india
there’s the gupta empire, not chandragupta, just gupta. first name chandra. the first.
guess who’s in rome? barbarians. what’s a barbarian? “non-romans,” said the romans, being invaded by non-romans. r.i.p. roman empire. actually just half of it, the other half is just fine, but it’s not in rome anymore, so let’s give it a new name.
the mayans have figured out the stars
oh, and here’s a huge city, population: everyone.
the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe. great job, göktürks.
how’s india? broken. how’s china? back together.
how’s those trading kingdoms? bigger, and there’s more of them.
korea has three kingdoms. japan has a kingdom, it’s the sunrise kingdom.
intermission
deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammad’s ear. so, he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods and he tells them their gods are all fake. and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town. you could make a religion out of this, and maybe conquer the world as well.
the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope. plus, there’s new kingdoms all over europe. i wonder if there’s room for moors.
here’s all the wisdom. in a house. it’s the baghdad house of wisdom! just in time for the islamic golden age!
“let’s bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast,” said the swahili on the swahili coast.
remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there? someone owns that now.
wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere?
the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas. “surprise! you’re the new roman emporer!” said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire. then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not-france.
the northerners, er, just “norse” if you don’t have much time, are exploring. they go north, from the north to the northern north. and they find some land— two types of land!— and they name them accordingly.
prankd
they also invade some other places and get called many names, such as “vikings.”
there’s the rus! the kievan rus! are they vikings? “i don’t think so,” said the kievan rus. okay, fair enough.
the pope is ready to make some more emperors of the roman empire. the holy roman empire! it’s actually germany, but don’t worry about it. new kingdoms—
CRISTIANIZE ALL THE KINGDOMS!!
which brand would you like?
“mine’s better”
“mine’s better”
“mine’s better”
“time to conquer england,” said william.
it’s a bird! it’s a plane! it’s the seljuk turks!
“aah!” said the byzantine empire, who’s getting so small and almost doesn’t exist anymore. “we need help!” they need help! so they call the pope.
“hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks? maybe take back the holy land on the way? come on, i know you want to take back the holy land.”
“yes, i do actually want to do that. let’s do a crusade.”
crusade!
they did many crusades. some of which almost didn’t fail. but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals.
goodbye mayans. hello toltecs! goodbye toltecs. hello mississippi! look at those mounds.
there’s the pueblo. i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff.
guess who’s here? khmer. where? here! and pagan is there. vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government.
china just invented bombs, and typing. and the mongols just invaded most of the universe. nice going, genghis! i bet that will last a long time.
some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india.
is it tonga time? i think it’s tonga time.
i just figured out where the swahili gets all of their gold.
look at this chad! it means “lake.” there’s an empire there! right in the middle of africa!
the king of mali is so rich, he’s going on tour to let everyone know. “wow, that guy’s rich,” everyone said.
the christians are doing a great job reconquering iberia, which will soon be called spain and not-spain. please remain christian. we will check in later to see if you’re still christian when you least expect.
whoops, half of europe just died.
ming! china’s back, yay!
hey, khmer. time to share. new kingdoms, here and there.
oh, look who controls all of the islands. it’s the mahajapit.
majahapit.
mapajahit.
mahapajit.
mapajahit.
ma-ja-pa-hit?
oh, italy’s real rich. time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics. it’s kinda like a rebirth.
here’s a printer. let’s make books!
so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire? yep, said the ottoman turks. nice job, ottoman turks. oops, you missed a spot. don’t forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade.
“what? that’s bullshit,” said portugal, spiceless.
“well i guess we’ll have to find another way to india”
“wait!” said christopher columbus, probably smoking crack. “if the world is round, let’s go this way to india.”
“nah, don’t worry, we already got this,” said portugal.
so chris goes to spain. “hey spain, wanna hire me to find india by going around back of the world?”
“no”
“please?”
“no”
“please?”
“wtf”
“no”
“please?”
“…okay”
so he sails into the ocean, and discovers… more ocean. and then discovers the indies, and japan! let’s draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world.
the aztec and the inca empires are off to a great start. i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent.
the hapsburgs are marrying into so many royal families, they might have to start marrying each other.
move over, lithuania, here comes moscow. ivan wants to make russia great again.
move over, timurids, maybe go invade india or something. persia just made persia persian again.
let’s make it the other kind of islam. the one where we thought the first guy should’ve been the other guy.
hey, christians! do you sin? now you can buy your way out of hell!
“that’s bullshit. this whole thing is bullshit. that’s a scam. fuck the church. here’s 95 reasons why,” said martin luther, in his new book which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation.
“you know what would be magnificent?” said suleiman wearing an onion hat. “what if the ottoman empire was… really big?” which it is now.
“what if russia was big?” said ivan, trying not to be terrible.
portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade. and then that dream was real.
and spain realized that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway. “damn,” said england and france. “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” then the dutch revolt, and all the hipsters moved to amsterdam. “damn,” said amsterdam. “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.”
question one: can you get to india from north america? no, but at least there’s beaver.
question two: steal the spice trade. that’s not a question, but the dutch did it anyway.
and sugar… guess where all of the sugar is made? in brazil! stolen! in the caribbean! and it’s so goddamn profitable, you might forget to not do slavery.
the next thing on russia’s to-do list is to get bigger.
britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world. more specifically, ohio. then it escalates into a seven-year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who’s boss. but what about britain and france, did they figure out who’s boss? yes they did! it’s britain.
guess who’s broke? also britain! so they start taxing the hell out of america. “fuck you!” says america, declaring their independence and fighting for it, and france helps them win. now france is broke, and britain will have to send their prisoners to a different continent.
wait, if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses?
“let’s overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off!” said robespierre, cutting everybody’s heads off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off.
you could make a rel— no, don’t.
haiti is starting to like the idea of a revolution, especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters. “why didn’t we think of this before?”
wait, who’s in charge of france now? “me,” said napoleon, trying to take over europe. luckily, they banished him to an island. but he came back!luckily, they banished him to another island.
there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin american wars of independence.
britain just figured out how to turn steam into power, so now they can make many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast. then they invent some trains. and conquer india and maybe put some trains there.
“hey, china!” said britain. “buy stuff from us!” “nah, dude, we already got everything,” says china. so britain tried to get them addicted to opium, which worked, actually. but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea. so britain threw a hissy fit and made them open up five cities and give them an island.
britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop the other person from conquering afghanistan.
also, the sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now:“that’s just where he lives.”
india just had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now. “nope,” said britain, governing them even harder than before.
incoming telegram: HI I JUST SENT YOU A MESSAGE THRU A WIRE
technology is about to go crazy!
the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad. it’s bad, they decided, and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land and maybe kick out the mexicans too.
“i know! let’s rape africa!” said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest. they never got ethiopia…
britain and france are still hungry. they never got thailand…
the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they’re looking for more:
hawaii!
cuba!
wait, spain controls cuba.
well, blame something on them and go to war! what should we blame on spain?
u.s.s. maine sinks
“let’s blame the maine on spain.”
so they blame the maine on spain.
now we’re in business.
to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans.
britain just found oil in the middle east. it makes cars go…
china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new, stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and is controlled by a guy from the previous government.
europe hasn’t had a war since the last war, so they start world war one. look at those guns! it’s gonna be a great war, so great we won’t need a second one. after it’s over, they blame germany.
russia went on strike, and the workers overthrew the government. now, everyone’s paycheck is the same. communism in the soviet union…
the arabs revolt and britain helps. now the ottoman empire is gone, so we can give the jewish people a place to live. hopefully the arabs won’t mind.
“let’s cut the cake!” said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore-empire.
except turkey! turkey makes a brand new turkey!
and then the saudis conquer arabia. it just seemed like the right thing to do.
phone rings
hello? yes, it’s the 1920’s calling. let’s get to a car and drive to a party and listen to jazz on the radio and go to the movies. the economy is great and it will probably be great forever. just kidding.
germany’s back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model, and he’s mad at the jews for existing.
japan is finally conquering the east, and they’re so excited, they rape nanking way too hard. they should probably just deny it.
hitler’s out of control, so the international community tackles him and tries to explain to him why killing all of the jews is a bad idea. but he kills himself because they could explain it to him. that’s world war two!
bonus round! pacific showdown
united states vs. japan
FIGHT!!
united states drops two extinction balls on japan
FINISH HIM!
let’s unite all the nations and have some world peace! seems legit.
“hi, im gandhi, and if britain doesn’t get the hell out of india, i’m going to starve myself in public.”
britain leaves
“wow, that worked?”
bonus! now there’s pakistan. actually two pakistans, one of them can be bangladesh later.
the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land. “me!” they both said at the same time. let’s divide up the lands so we’re both happy. SIKE! they both get angrier!
look out, china! there’s a new china in china. what’s on the menu? communism! no thanks, said the other china, escaping to an island. i wonder which one is the real china…?
there’s the korean war. korea versus korea! nobody wins, then its on pause forever.
let’s meet the sponsors. oh, it’s the two global superpowers. they’re having a friendly debate over which economic system is good and which one is an evil virus of satan. and they both have atom bombs. FIGHT!! wait, no, that would be the end of the world. let’s just keep it cool and spy on each other instead. and make sure we have enough atom bombs.
“i’ll race you to space.”
united states plants a flag on the moon
now let’s make more countries fight themselves.
europe is tired of pillaging other continents, and the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged. so here’s a new map with new countries. now you can’t tell who they’re being pillaged by.
the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad. they decided it’s bad, and the world agrees. south africa might need another minute to think about it.
let’s check the world population!
woah. okay.
technology is better too, that might keep happening.
the soviet union decides to relax a little, and accidentally falls apart.
europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money. except britain, because they don’t feel like it.
let’s check the mail… surprise! it’s on the computer!
whoops, someone just attacked america. i bet they’ll remember that.
phone call! surprise! it’s in your pocket! wanna learn everything? surprise! it’s on the computer! now your phone’s a computer, which is in your pocket!
whoops, the economy just crashed. don’t worry, the big banks won’t fail, because they’re not supposed to.
surprise!… flying robots. with bombs.
wanna print a brain?
some people have no friends. some people have no food. the globe is warming, and the ocean is full of plastic!
“let’s save the planet!” said everybody, not knowing how.
“let’s invent a thing inventor,” said the thing inventor inventor after being invented by a thing inventor. that’s pretty cool.
by the way, where the hell are we?
thanks for watching history
i hope i mentioned everything
psychic: what the fuck

alright! *cracks knuckles* let’s talk about klance! i know all these points have been made in other posts but i’m just irritated and want to make my own post lmfao. i don’t understand people who say keith and lance don’t have any chemistry/potential/”romantic” moments…like…are you watching the same show that i’m watching? you don’t have to like the ship, dude, but there is no denying there’s something going on.

lance, your bi is showing.

do i even need to talk about the, “we are a good team” scene? this was ridiculously gay. holy fuck. tender hand holding. EVEN THE WAY KEITH SAYS LANCE’S NAME IS TENDER. they just sit there holding hands the whole time. they could have let go, either one of them could have let go, dude. keith wasn’t helping lance up. he kneeled down next to him and just…fucking held his hand? those soft smiles? lance doing the “fond eyebrow raise”? gay. and i know the purple lighting is from the galra crystal, but like…wow this whole set up was romantic as hell. seriously, sit back and imagine if one of them were a girl. boom, romantic. everyone would see it. so why is it so hard for some of y’all to see it here? not to mention the fact that we never actually saw the supposed “cradling” (i refuse to believe “I cradled you in my arms!” refers to this hand holding. there has to be more. a full on cradle). that was probably so fucking gay. AND THE EPISODE RIGHT AFTER, WHEN LANCE IS IN THE HEALING POD, KEITH BEING AN IMPATIENT LITTLE FUCK, FULL ON POUTING, TAPPING THE POD BECAUSE ALLURA WON’T LET LANCE OUT OF IT YET. EVEN THOUGH SHE SAID “JUST A FEW MORE TICKS.”

like, this boy can’t even fucking wait a few ticks because he just wants to see lance. there is no way to deny that he wants to see lance, talk to him, probably about their bonding moment. i bet he thinks everything is going to be different between him and lance now. 

he’s also the last one to walk away from the pod. *eye emoji* why did they choose to show that? what was the Point? then, when lance comes out of the healing pod, keith gets this precious little smile on his face. he’s happy to see him. looking forward to talking about feelings and shit, most likely.

but! lance instantly flirts with allura and keith just says, “Classic.” he then proceeds to look salty as fuck with his signature broody arm crossing included. this poor boy. you’re killing him lance, you really are.

not to mention the many other times he has appeared jealous when lance is flirting. (”Jealousy, thy name is Keith.”) i’m not posting screencaps of all those moments because i’m so lazy and like i said, all these points have been made in other posts and i got other shit i’m focusing on. 

here it is, the iconic, “We had a bonding moment! I cradled you in my arms!” scene. listen. i honestly can’t even think of a reason why keith would bring this up, unless he has a big fat crush on lance. it just did not fit into the conversation at all. let me type it out for y’all even though you probably don’t need me to. we’ve analyzed this to hell and back already but…

Lance: “Wow. Thanks, everybody. Sounds like the mice did more than you, though.”
Keith: “I punched Sendak!”
Lance: “Yeah, apparently after I emerged from a coma and shot his arm off.”
Keith, looking completely fucking devastated: “We had a bonding moment. I cradled you in my arms!” (his voice CRACKS)

honestly, he looks like he just witnessed his world fall apart around him. #mood

i don’t know about you, but this would not be my reaction unless, like i said, i had a big fat crush on the other person. he looks so betrayed, oh my god. and lance…wow. lance says, “Nooope. Don’t remember, didn’t happen.” now, is it just me or is this totally lance being a little shit about the fact that keith didn’t remember him in the first episode when they’re saving shiro? i bet it is.

alright, now this here, this is my favorite. this screenshot is titled “GAY this is so fucking GAY” in my files because um? their faces? those are very fond and tender expressions. this whole scene was so gay i stg. keith was flirting up a storm with this boy and it was amazing. let’s not forget that the planet lance was on with nyma highkey had the bi flag colors and there was two rainbows in this episode. symbolism, guys. these things mean a lot and are very important in animation. (there’s a lot more symbolism that many people have pointed out, including what i said above but my ass don’t have the time to put them all here)

the flirtation is strong in this one. here’s some more moments (i probably didn’t put them all idk i can’t remember) where keith is either a) flirty or b) looking at lance with that oh so soft expression. he doesn’t really look at any of the other characters like this (definitely not at allura lmfao), at least not that i’ve noticed. correct me if i’m wrong. 

wow keith you’re soooo cool…

a very underappreciated Soft Look.

this whole scene kills me every time, i love everything about it.

PROUD OF LANCE FOR COMING UP WITH A SICK ASS PLAN!

this still haunts me. it haunts all of us. why!!! did!!! he!!! say!!! it!!! like!!! that!!! you can hear the winky face in his voice. the way he says this is equivalent to 100 winky faces. if you don’t think this is blatant flirting, you’re a lost cause.

of course you were. of course. you want his attention. it’s okay, we know, lance.

LOOK AT THAT SMIRK KEITH IS SPORTING!!! anyways, that is the face of someone flirting. i make the same damn face keith makes when i flirt. if one of them were a girl, IT WOULDN’T EVEN BE A QUESTION. IT WOULD BE OBVIOUS FLIRTING AND PEOPLE WOULD SHIP THE HELL OUT OF IT. but no, they’re two boys. dudes bein’ dudes. just guys bein’ bros. wow, what a great bromance.

now, just for shits and giggles, let us compare how keith looks when he’s literally cradling allura in his arms vs. when he’s holding hands with lance.

he deadass looks like this -_- with allura. there’s actually a fucking…slight frown on his face now that i really look at it, oh my god. even when allura removes herself and blushes, he still looks like that. now, wouldn’t you think that, hm…if they wanted it to be known that keith wants to smooch allura, they’d at least put a slight blush on his face to match allura’s or maybe have him appear to be a little flustered? 

he’s gay. i can’t imagine him not being gay. (imo, him being galra is a big metaphor for him being gay. coming to terms with who he is and “coming out” to the other paladins. everything hunk says to him in “The Belly of the Weblum” are common things straight people say to gay people. a lot of people in the fandom seem to agree with this, but maybe we’re all just reaching idk) i just feel like…someone who likes girls would have a different reaction than keith’s when faced with a beautiful girl like princess allura in their arms. yeah, i know, this has already been said. but!!! it’s!!! true!!! all of their “romantic” scenes together were awkward, forced and came right out of nowhere and keith just…had no reaction. compare that to all the faces he’s made at lance. yeah. the difference is ridiculously obvious.

there’s honestly so much more i want to add to this, stuff from the comics and more subtle things (including a screencap of lance’s face in “Escape from Beta Traz” when he’s talking about keith and how he does cool shit. boy had the most fond expression known to man. u know the one), but everything has already been said by someone else. i’ll end it by saying this, again, because i’m really fucking salty: if one of these boys were a girl, there would be ZERO question about the purpose of these interactions. it would all be seen as flirting and romantic. it’s such a common trope. red and blue. fire and ice. they balance each other out. peace the heck out.

anonymous asked:

Hi there! Wanted to let you know I adore your work and that you've actually made me love Humanformers, which I hadn't even liked before stumbling upon your gorgeous blog. Also, I have a question: would you mind if I used one of your drawings as my phone's wallpaper? Pretty please! Also, I'd love it if you could draw Racer Dads taking care of a hurt Raf or KOBB after a falling out making up? Dunno why so dark and I guess you may not like the idea, so it's cool if you don't wanna. Love you!

Wow thank you that’s really awesome. I’m touched to hear i’ve had that type of an impact,thank you! 
And yes of course you can use, i’ve got nothing against that. Just really amazing to hear you like some pic that much,thanks.
And sure i can do that but i’ll add a personal little lighter tone if that’s ok

{Reaction} EXO finding out they weren't your original bias

Hello! I love your blog soooooo much and I literally just went through your whole master list on EXO and am about to go to the next group lmao so I was wondering if you could do an EXO imagine where they get jealous cuz their weren’t your first bias in the group? Thanks!💖

Note: I made this kind of short because I didn’t want to repeat myself since it’s all quite similar for each member. I hope you still enjoy it though! 

Disclaimer: I don’t own the gifs/ images used. 

Park Chanyeol

Originally posted by porkdo-bi

Chanyeol: “Are you kidding me right now? I am the face of EXO, how can you not stan this?”


Do Kyungsoo/ D.O.

Originally posted by veriloquentmind

Kyungsoo: “I guess I can see why you’d prefer Minseok, he is a lot better than me at things” *Sheepish - kind of dissapointed*

{y/n}: *guilty af*


Byun Baekhyun

Originally posted by lobbu-lobbu

Baekhyun: “Are you joshing? I’m cooler than Chen! I’m definitely make a better bias than he does!”

{y/n}: “Yeah, so cool you still call it ‘joshing.’”


Oh Sehun

Originally posted by nicelyjaythan

“I bet you thought you liked Kris but then you saw me and thought wow that’s right, my type” *sassy af*

{y/n}: “Please stop”


Zhang Yixing/ Lay

Originally posted by elaysium

“What does Tao have that I don’t have? I don’t understand Baobei”

{y/n}: *guilty af* how could you do this to this baby? He must be protected


Kim Jongdae/ Chen

Originally posted by luedeer

“Waee~ Why are you like this?”


Kim Minseok/ Xiumin

Originally posted by channieschubbycake

“Your bias was Baekhyun? He’s a literal man child, why would you like him when you could like Daddy?” *smirking*


Huang Zitao/ Tao

Originally posted by lil-duckling

Tao: “Your bias was Suho? Of all members, really? Wow, that’s embarrassing” *salty af*


Kim Junmyeon/ Suho

Originally posted by bemineinseoul

Suho: “You liked brainless?”

{y/n}: “No, I said Baekhyun.”

Suho: “So yeah… brainless.”


Luhan

Originally posted by krismehard

Luhan: “Pfft, why would you like someone like Chanyeol? I’m the manly one, you should have noticed me first.”


Kim Jongin/ Kai

Originally posted by illegalkai

Kai: “You liked Kyungsoo? Aish, that’s hurt my ego”


Wu Yifan/ Kris

Originally posted by krismehard

Kris: “You want to see me cry, don’t you?”

dating hoseok

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

dating hoseok would include:

  • lots of fun and laughter
  • i mean
  • have you seen the guy???
  • he’s the epitome of happiness
  • it’s hard for you not to smile or laugh when you’re around him
  • that’s what attracted you to him in the first place
  • you always thought his personality is too much for you, you’re not that happy or energetic or just excited about anything in general, not as much as he is
  • but you’d slowly fall in love with the way he talks and the way he laughs and the sound of his laughter and you’d realize that you’re becoming more excited about everything just by socializing with him
  • and then one day you’d get into a fight with someone very close and you wouldn’t want to talk about it
  • but he’d notice something’s wrong with you, because he always notices those things
  • he tells himself it’s just because you’re his friend, but deep down, he knows he fell for you a long time ago but he thinks there’s no way someone like you would be interested in him, especially because you’re friends
  • so he’d be content with just being your friend and being around you
  • but then you’d get so sad and he’d just want to make you talk about what’s bothering you so that he could help you
  • but you wouldn’t want to talk about it
  • so he’d crack jokes and get a tiny smile out of you and when he’d see that it’s working, he’d try a lot harder, and that’s when you’d admit to yourself that he’s the only guy who can make you feel that way
  • his energy just pulls everyone in and it’s contagious
  • even when you feel like shit, he manages to make you laugh or at least crack a smile
  • he does dumb things to make you laugh like coming up with funny dance moves or rap lines or songs or he imitates other members dancing until you’re crying from laughter holding your stomach
  • there wouldn’t be that many quiet and chill moments with him
  • but when that would happen, you’d be blissful
  • because hoseok is above all really caring and passionate
  • lying around the sofa with his head resting on your chest as you read your book and he takes a nap was what you would live for while he was away
  • he’d never let a day go by without asking you how your day went, even if he was on another continent busy with work and promos and shoots and practice, he would never forget about you
  • he cares about dancing so much and it pays off, he’s amazing at what he does
  • but hobi always tries to be better
  • so when he comes up with new stuff, he sends you a video to brag or to ask for your opinion
  • because your opinion matters to him, even on things he knows a lot more about than you do
  • he secretly lives for your compliments
  • he’s literal sunshine and all that but he’s a bit insecure
  • he feels like he doesn’t get as much love and attention from the audience, and a lot of times he gets sad thinking about it
  • because he works so hard and he tries so hard to outdo himself, to put on the best performance he ever did, just to make people happy
  • but he feels like he doesn’t manage to do that often
  • that’s the thing that gets him down - he’s always so happy and energetic and playful and he’s trying to make other people happy, too, but he feels like he doesn’t manage to do that
  • he often feels like he’s in his friends’ shadows, but not in an envious way
  • oh no, he loves his friends and he loves the fact they are praised for their hard work and talent
  • and you know all that and it breaks your heart when you see someone disrespecting him or saying mean things about him or doubting his talent
  • you never get why someone would do that, he’s the best person ever ??? he’s everything you ever wanted in a guy and more and you’d hate seeing him insecure
  • seeing hoseok cry would break your heart because it’s so different from what he really is and you’d know he must be really hurt if he were crying and you’d just want to protect him from whatever is making him feel that way, and you’d always end up crying when he cried just because you’d be so angry that somebody made him feel bad about himself when he’s the best person you know
  • god forbid someone said something like that to you in person, you’re usually calm and collected, but all hell would break loose if you heard someone talking shit about your hobi
  • he doesn’t let a day go by without asking about your day, and you don’t let a day go by without telling him how much you love him for what he really is
  • not for what jung hoseok aka jhope, bts member is, but for what he is as a person
  • a smart, funny, talented, beautiful, caring, hardworking individual !!!! who appreciates everyone for what they are and what they do !!!! and always tries to make everyone feel better !!!
  • you praise him all the time and he always gets shy when you do and he tells you to stop as he blushes and giggles nervously and makes dumb jokes, but you know he secretly loves it and that your compliments make his day
  • when you compliment him, he says things like
  • “are you saying that just to get me in bed? cause it’s working”
  • “thanks, but you’re still not getting free tour tickets”
  • he tries to laugh it off, but he’s actually enjoying it so much
  • he feels like you’re the only person that really gets him and appreciates him
  • but you know that’s not true because literally everyone he knows loves him
  • and also millions of people he has never met adore him
  • but since he’s so positive and outgoing, it breaks his heart to see even one hateful comment, he can’t understand why someone would say such a thing, because he would never in a million years treat someone like that
  • but you’d love your hobi so much that he’d just know it, and he’d gain a lot more confidence because he had you, he wouldn’t feel like he’s in anyone’s shadow
  • spending time away from you would kill him
  • but you’d always find ways to talk to him, even if it only meant texting, and he’d always make time for that
  • “i think i did so well today, i can’t wait for you to see what we filmed !!”
  • “taehyung got fucking lost, can you believe what an idiot he is… i felt so sorry for him, though”
  • “did you see the reaction to yoongi’s mixtape??!?!?! i’m so proud of him”
  • “oh and i love you”
  • “i thought about you all day today, i can’t wait to finally see you”
  • “don’t make plans for friday night, i have everything planned”
  • “wow, that picture………………… let’s just say its HARD not to think about it”
  • “what did i ever do to deserve you !?”
  • “good luck with your exam today, you’re the smartest person i know, there’s no doubt in my mind you’ll pass”
  • “and if you fail, i’ll be home waiting with food”
  • “i was sad today, but then you texted and i remembered i’m the luckiest guy on this planet”
  • i think life with hoseok would be so much fun because he’s so energetic
  • he’s the type of guy who’d burst out in laughter during sex and you’d be all concerned as to why he’s laughing and it would be something stupid like 
  • “i just saw the face I was making in the mirror, how do you not laugh at me while we do this, it’s beyond me”
  • but he’s also very loving and caring, so you’d just be happy all the time
  • and even if you weren’t, his presence would make everything better
  • just seeing him would make your heart beat faster, let alone hearing his laughter
  • with time, you’d just keep falling more and more in love with hoseok
  • and you’d thank god every day for having such a sweet nice guy in your life
  • brb still crying about his flower costume thing today

I like how the Anti-Reylo people are usually against Reylo because it is “not healthy” and it is “abusive”. Acting like they are saints because they ship “healthy” ships and speak up against what they think are “unhealthy” ships. But then they are ATTACKING and speaking horribly of the people who do ship Reylo. Like, c’mon.  

Are we affecting you by shipping Reylo? Nope. 

I have never spoke out on a ship because I personally didn’t like it, or attacked the people who ship a ship that I see has flaws. Because:

A. Not my business

B. It’s not affecting me

C. It’s fucking rude

I don’t see why someone ships something.

 *shrugs* 

Moves on.

Why are you wasting your energy on harassing people who ship something you don’t? Do you think that’s going to change peoples perspectives of their ship? Because if not then why? Just to be an asshole?

 I have seen people, including me, start to feel like shit for shipping something. That is not fair. 

I have even been attacked for something I shipped before so heavily that I started having a panic attack (no stranger to me) and crying, it’s not fun.

  (╯◕_◕)╯ 彡┻━┻

I’m gonna touch on the main point’s Anti’s bring up so I can state my opinions. (that no one asked for.) (oh well.)

Let’s start with “Ew incest”

I’m really not gonna get into this one because, personally, I find it quite silly. For one, it has not even been confirmed that Rey is related to Kylo. We have no clue who Rey’s family is entirely so immediately assuming that they are family is just a reach so Anti’s have something to throw at us tbqh. I can’t speak on everyone’s behalf, but personally if Rey and Kylo are related- I would not ship them. I do not ship family member’s together like some people do. Which, I’m not going to attack anyone who doe’s because that’s not my business. I just personally could never do that because it makes me uncomfy.

Next topic “You’re a pedophile.”

Okay, first of all. 

whAT?

Honey, I know someone irl who married someone 16 years older than them. Does that make the older person a pedophile? Because Rey is a young adult, who is also mature from what we have seen (Her parent’s left her so she obviously had to grow up pretty fast. Sadly.) and Kylo is 29-30. Honestly, I don’t know if it’s just me but in my head it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. Seeing as if Kylo is 29, then when he is 30, Rey will be 20 and that’s a ten year age gap. ❗ AND IT DOES NOT MAKE ME A PEDOPHILE ❗ 

Also, their age gap is LITERALLY the same age gap between Han and Leia. So if you have an issue with Reylo, don’t contradict yourself.

Abusive

Yup, that usually happens between people on opposite side’s of the team. Keep in mind that Kylo treated Rey completely different than he did with Poe, he could have hurt her severely like he did with Poe who was tortured basically for the information he had. Yes, he invaded her thoughts- again- opposite sides. Needed the information. 

The fight scene he fought Finn extremely forcefully, punching at his side to become stronger, punching Finn in the face. Take note of the fact he did not do that with Rey. He was hesitant until he realized she was going to kill him if he did not fight back, and obviously he did not want to die. So he was protecting himself. He also knocked Rey back into a tree, only when she raised a gun to shoot him.

Try telling me that if someone raised a gun at you, you wouldn’t do the same LMAO.

People who ship Reylo are not stupid (most of us), we know that Kylo isnt a good guy. But he isn’t all bad. (which is shown through novelization and his facial expression.) 

Personally if they give Kylo Ren his redemption arc that is perfectly set up, I would ship Reylo more than I already do (which is crazy because I already ship them so much.). 

Lastly I’m gonna be speaking on the racist comments that get thrown at Reylo shippers.

I actually don’t understand how to talk about this because, for one I am not racist and don’t know why people like saying it. “You don’t ship Rey and Finn? You’re racist.”

Uhm, funny, but inaccurate. 

I think Rey and Finn are extremely adorable. But I shipped Rey and Kylo right from the interrogation scene because my gut told me something was up. My gut told me “Something is gonna happen with them. Why is he treating her differently?” 

The fact I shipped them so early on completely clouded any other ship from the movie. 

Actually no, I do ship Stormpilot. ALOT actually. So all I really noticed was Reylo interactions and the Stormpilot hug and “Keep it. It suits you.”

I also have seen Anti’s call Reylo’s Misogynists? 

Don’t know what that’s about.

Also been called a rape romanticist.

Which, i don’t know if I missed something. But nothing rapey happened in The Force Awakens. Unless I am oblivious. But either way, I don’t appreciate being called a RAPE ROMANTICIST. whAT THE FUCK. Get out of here with that shit oml.

UPDATE: I have been informed that going into Rey’s mind was the ‘rapey’ aspect of the movie. I would just like to say, did not find that romantic LOL.

Anyways I just typed for like an hour so, I am probably gonna get attacked.

Another update: Someone reblogged this and said:

Stupid racist: writes long, dumbass racist rant. 

Stupid racist: I’m not racist ! Stormpilot!

(the rest I can’t see because I was promptly blocked.)

AND THEN they leave another then that say’s “How white of you.”

Wow. Humans are amazing.

I wasn’t saying I shipped Stormpilot just so it would seem like I’m not racist?? I was saying I shipped Stormpilot because I was touching on how I was feeling during the movie.

I don’t know why people always feel the need to point out people’s skin colors like? Thank’s for making me hate myself more though LOL I appreciate it.

Also I would like to say that, I don’t know how this whole thing was racist when I literally was speaking about Rey and Kylo most of the time. But, okay.

(Don’t know why they resorted to being horribly rude to me when no where in this post I spoke like that about anyone.)

Anti’s why can’t we just get along*. I’m a Hufflepuff who like’s reading, eating and crying. 


      XOXO Reylo trash 

BTS reaction to someone attractive at a fansign

A/N: I’m sorry this is so short I wasn’t really sure how to expand on this.

Yoongi/Suga: He’s not really the type to get flustered like if you were really flustered he’d smile and compliment you maybe, Min Yoongi is a really cool guy, you’re probably the one getting flustered if I’m completely honest. He also remembers fans really well so you can sure as hell bet that not only is he gonna remember you he’s also gonna remember your name. 

Seokjin/Jin: Also going to be pretty normal about it. Might flirt a little like he’d maybe tell a cheesy joke or something to try to get you to laugh. He’d definitely tell you that you were pretty. From his point of view he’s got nothing to lose, he knows that you already like them. Would maybe ask you who your bias was. 

Hoseok/J-Hope: Sunshine is gonna talk to you a lot more than normal like he’s always really fun but he’s gonna try to be just a little more fun so you’ll remember him out of the group. Would also ask you who your bias was, secretly hoping that it was him. 

Namjoon/Rap Mon: He king of being cool but at the same time I feel like he’d be really flustered? Like okay maybe not REALLY flustered but man is going to stammer a bit maybe as he’s talking to you because wow look at those visuals??? Would honestly want to ask you a lot but wouldn’t be able to think straight enough to actually get it out? Am I making him too nervous? I feel like he would be though? Nams seems like the type to wonder if pretty people are out of his league and that’s why he might be so nervous. 

Jimin: Also gonna be a bit flustered but in a cuter giggly way. Like he’s laughing way too much why is he laughing so much? Why am I making Jimin a nervous giggler I don’t know he laughs a lot I can see him being a nervous giggler. The type to like fantasize about conversations with you long after the fanmeet. Would barely have any conversation with you during the fanmeet because he’s not sure what to ask you other than the basic questions that he asks everyone. Is gonna really hope that you come back to another fanmeet tbh. 

Taehyung/V: He gon flirt. Like Taehyung isn’t that shy like he’s very straightforward in my opinion so he seems the type to unabashedly tell you that you’re really pretty. Again he has nothing to lose, he KNOWS that you like him or at least his group so he’s not gonna hold back. If he’s your bias then he’s probably gonna full on flirt with you like he’s wishing he could get your number or something but he’s not sure if you’d keep his number a secret, good looks doesn’t mean good person but dang those good looks. 

Jungkook: He’s gonna stare. Like he’s really gonna stare. You guys have all seen those fancams like he’s the type to just admire the pretty ones even if they aren’t in front of him. He just gets that dazed look in his eyes like wow you’re beautiful oh my god and he’s not really gonna do anything because he realizes that he’s an idol and you’re a fan and he’s gotta be professional but he’s just going to make the most of the time that he does have and he’s gonna stare. 

Taking Chances

Summary: During a brief moment alone you learn something new about JB and his feelings towards you, but do you feel the same way towards him?

Genre: Fluff/Romance

Pairing: You + JB

Word Count: 2934


You were cleaning up after one of your Friday night hangouts with your friends and had just thrown some takeout boxes into the trash when there was a knock at your door. You opened it to find Jaebum standing there.

“Um, I think I left my phone here,” he said with an apologetic grin.

“Ah. Come in,” you said, letting him in.

He looked around the sofa but didn’t seem to see it. “Have you seen it lying around anywhere?” he asked you.

“Ahhh no,” you said, but you were unsure what else to say so you started to look around for it, too. 

Truthfully, you just had to do something, you couldn’t just stand around. JB was the only one of your friends that you weren’t very close to, so you felt awkward being alone in your apartment with him.

It wasn’t that you didn’t like JB, it was just that his presence was intense and he was often very quiet around you, so he just made you nervous.

You weren’t the type to be clumsy but whenever JB was around bad things always seemed to happen to you. Your umbrella turned inside out, your heel broke off your shoe, you spilled your coffee or tripped going up the stairs. One time a pigeon pooped on you and JB laughed so hard he cried. He kept crowing “your face” as he doubled over in laughter. You still hadn’t forgiven him for that.

“Maybe I left it in the kitchen,” he said and started heading towards the kitchen, which sent him right past you.

He passed you so closely that you got startled and stepped back, knocking a vase off the table behind you, sending it crashing to the floor.

“Crap!” you cried, and stooped down to start picking up the mess, but a sharp pain shot through your hand and made you yelp. “Ow!” You had cut your index finger.

JB had already turned around when he heard the crash and now he knelt by you. “What happened? Did I do that? Did you cut yourself?”

“Just go away JB,” you mumbled sulkily. “This is all your fault. I’m only like this when you’re around. You’re bad luck.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

hi! :) since your requests are open, can you do a gangster/fighter!au for shownu? i actually had this idea of him being an underground boxer or with a gang after seeing his outfits for fighter era, hehe

yes!! I was just thinking about this the other day, bless you little angel i got you

Badboy!Shownu

  • So Shownu and the rest of Monsta x have been labelled as the school badboys, every girl wants them, every guy wants to be them (remember when fanfics used to call them kingkas because i do)
  • rumours have been spread around over the past couple years that they’re involved in gang activity but no one’s been able to prove it
  • Shownu is the ‘silent leader’ type and hangs in the back but the others respect and listen to him when he sets them straight
  • the rest of the boys are pretty rowdy and mess around, usually Wonho is the voice of authority because Shownu doesn’t really like having to act like their dad
  • to some extent they are involved in …. illegal activities
  • Shownu is involved in underground fight clubs (among other things we’ll cover a little later)
  • he used to do it for fun, when he was having trouble at home and needed a way to vent all of his frustration and anger (plus he was making money so win/win)
  • he stopped after a few months because people were getting suspicious when he was showing up to school repeatedly with cuts and bruises
  • but recently he’s been fighting for a different reason
  • you
  • so basically, he’s had a giant crush on you for like almost 2 years and he’s always been too scared to do anything about it
  • your family is struggling and you work nights at the convenience store that CONVENIENTLY happens to be right by his house
  • the guys always hang out at his place and he always volunteers himself to go get snacks etc just so he can see you for a couple of minutes and interact with you for all of five seconds
  • like we’ve all seen how cute and flustered Shownu gets when he’s shy
  • that would be him with you, to the point that he goes bright red and can barely speak to you so he just grins and leaves asap
  • (you think it’s adorable and can’t understand why people are so scared of this dude because ?? he’s so precious, and always asks about your day)
  • also the thing about Shownu is that because he’s more of the quiet observant type, he sees a lot more than anyone would think
  • so he knows that your family doesn’t have a lot of money and that’s why you work there
  • he wanted to help you but he didn’t know how at first, you wouldn’t even take a $5 tip one of the first nights he stopped by to get snacks
  • Changkyun is another observant type and Shownu confides in him about his feelings and the problem he was having
  • he suggested to maybe drop the money anonymously? so tries that…
  • and wow he really did not expect you to take the money to the principle and tell him that someone just left an envelope of cash in your locker…
  • so they try again a couple of days later after writing an anonymous note to go along with it, to explain what it was for and to make it slightly less weird (but still hella weird)
  • you tell yourself you’ll accept the money only because you were REALLY struggling and needed to get the loan sharks off your back
  • he’s such a little dork he’d totally spy on you before class and make sure you took the money, and his heart would race as the corners of your mouth upturn into a small smile

Originally posted by hyungwonhie

persian13  asked:

Your blog is so cute! I was wondering... Could you do Shiro, Hunk and Coran's reaction learning that their s/o is a cancer survivor, please? Thank you!

i’m pretty hesitant to post this because i was csred that i was going to ffend someone but hopefully i didn’t (if i do pleae message me privately and i’ll fix it) also to cancer survivors out there, im absolutely proud of you! 


SHIRO:

- shiro would be shook

- he’ll actually cry about it

- and pull s/o into a tight hug

- and he’d tell them how proud he is of them

- and apologizing that he wasn’t there for them at that time (they haven’t met)

- but the wont treat them any different

- he knows how strong they are

- he’ll be so awed at 

- and super  proud

- he’ll speak even more  highly of s/o

- and he’ll have more hope of them both survicing zarkon’s attacks


HUNK:

- he would sob as s/o tells him

- he’d ask them to tell them everything from the start till the end

- and he’ll cry harder

- he isnt pitying them at all

- he’s just so proud

- and sad that they had to go through so much pain without him

- and knowing how strong s/o now just made him emotional

- he’d become a bit protective over tem

- but not crazy

- just making sure that they’re alright

- and that they wongt push too hard

- it just makes him love them more


CORAN:

- at first s/o would explain to him about cancer

- the types, the reason they get it, all that jazz

- and at the end he’s just like “wow”

- he doesn’t realize that humans got through that much

- then he’s like “why are you telling me this”

- then s/o explains that they are a survivor

- and he’s shook

- he’ll need a moment to breath in

- before crying out

- but he’s so proud

- he always knew that they were strong and this just made them seem much more stronger in his eyes

- he respects s/o so much

- he wont treat them any different understanding the hell they’ve been through

twisted

summary; “surprise!”
warnings; mentions of death, cursing, lin being a cutie, C U R S I N G, a lot of capslock, bad plot, i Didn’t take my medicine so yeah its really bad, bad bad bad, shitty story
dedicated to; mY 100 FOLLOWERS A AA I LOVE YALL

“so, you watched hamilton last night?” asked jimmy. you were asked to be on the late night show- and you, being the big fan of him, instantly said yes. “yes! oh my god, it was amazing. i really liked it, and i have to say- lin manuel miranda is a genius. a cute one. and you know that i really adore him!” everyone cheered, as you smiled. “yeah, i met him once.” fallon joked, and the crowed laughed. “oh, so you know him?” you teased him. “damn right i do. did you meet any cast members?” he continued to ask you.

you shook your head, “uhh, no.” jimmy’s eyes widened. “what? that’s a shame.” he put on a sad pout face. you chuckled- and faced the audience. “i didn’t tell anyone that i was going to watch it, but i actually tweeted when i got out of the theater.” you answered. you watched hamilton alone last night, and told no one. it wasn’t that important, you thought. “we all know that lin is a fan of your tv show as well.” you nodded. your tv show was released last month, and you were really happy.

“ladies and gentlemen! y/n l/n, starring in ((insert tv show))!” you stood up, and hugged jimmy- as you went backstage. you checked your phone, and saw the notifications blowing up. you decided to go home, and just sleep. you were really exhausted, because you had a show before this interview. you sighed, and got into the back of your car. “how was it?” your driver, will- asked. you closed you eyes, “it was fun, but i want to choke myself to death; i am really tired.” you said, and he laughed in response. “thank god you have don’t have any interview tomorrow.”

will dropped you off, and you told him to go home. “go home, will.” he shook his head. “william, it is 2 am. go home, i won’t be needing you tomorrow, take a break.” you turned your back, and went inside your apartment building. as you went to your room, your phone rang. “yes, hello?” you looked at the caller id, it was your manager. “your interview is blowing up on youtube!” she giggled. natalie had been your manager for years, you really loved her- she was your best friend as well. “dear god, nat. i’m going to sleep, goodnight.”

“okay everyone, come back in an hour! great practice!” lin clapped, and the cast cheered. everyone went backstage to get a drink, and someone called him. “lin! lin!” it was leslie. lin walked up to him, and furrowed his eyebrows. “what’s up?” “you have to watch this!” leslie dragged lin to the backstage. “help! i’ve been kidnapped.” lin yelled, and everyone laughed. the dark-skinned man opened his dressing room, and pushed lin inside. “what do you want?” lin smiled. “don’t panic. but,” he paused. “y/n watched our show like 2 days ago, and-” “WHAT.” lin screamed.

leslie showed him the interview, “i can’t believe she called me cute. and i didn’t see her. ah fuck!” lin cursed, as his friend started to laugh at him. “we should invite her tho.” leslie suggested. “YOU’RE RIGHT, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!” he yelled, and leslie flinched again. “stop screaming, and you’re welcome.” leslie smiled, as his friend pulled out his phone.

@lin_manuel
i didn’t know that @y/n watched our show! too bad i didn’t meet you.

you had just woke up, and your phone wouldn’t stop buzzing. “what is going on?” you asked yourself. as you unlocked your iphone. “okay, but my twitter is blowing up, what the fuck.” you clicked the app, and scrolled down. and you noticed something, a tweet directed to you from someone you adore. “WAIT LIN TWEETED AT ME?”

@lin_manuel
i didn’t know that @y/n watched our show! too bad i didn’t meet you.

@y/n
am i dreaming? oh my god, hi lin! too bad i didn’t meet you as well, but great performance! you nailed it. @lin_manuel

@lin_manuel
well since you really loved it, why not come back;)? i would be really happy! @y/n

“is he flirting with me? jesus christ, ljn.” you laughed, as you typed your response.

@y/n
wow is that an invitation, or a what? cause i would love to watch the show again, but i would prefer a backstage tour;;))))) @lin_manuel

@lin_manuel
next week? it would be lovely,, @y/n

@y/n
so excited to meet the cute genius! @lin_manuel

lin was smiling in real life, “i am going to meet my celebrity crush.” he said to himself. “you’re what?” pippa raised her eyebrows. he was startled by pippa’s presence, “u-uh, nothing!” he quickly said. pippa smirked and tried to grab his phone- “mhmmm, sure.” and then anthony came into lin’s dressing room. “LIN, YOU’RE GONNA INVITE Y/N? I AM SO EXCITED!” lin sighed. “oh, scandalous.” pippa winked at him, as lin blushed. “we all know you have a crush on her, old man.” jazzy said, as she went inside lin’s room.

“okay, first of all. why are you here? get out!” lin joked, and when he opened the door; daveed, oak, chris, renée, and leslie came in. “so, y/n- huh?” daveed teased him. “oh my god!” lin yelled. everyone laughed, and went inside. they were all inside lin’s dressing room- chatting. “you’re going to invite y/n to a ‘backstage’ tour?” chris emphasized the word backstage. “n-no, it’s really a backstage tour!” lin blushed again. “sure.”

you were walking down the street, while calling natalie. “so, next month- you’ll be shooting for the new promo, i think the director said on the 26th.” you nodded. “yeah, sure. oh, i’m going to meet lin next week, clear my schedule.” there was a pause. “uhm, nat?” “why didn’t you tell me earlier? i will arrange your schedule, bye.” you chuckled. you stopped in front of your usual coffee shop, and noticed a sign. it was closed. “sorry for the disturbance, but we’re closed for today!” you sighed, as you walked away from the shop.

“welcome to starbucks! how can i help you?” in the end, you decided to buy some overpriced coffee. “hi! can i have one tall cafe latte, and one cinnamon roll.” you ordered, and paid for your drink. you waited for the barista to call your name, and you realized someone was watching you. you turned around to see a familiar face. the famous anthony ramos, staring at you. “anthony!” “y/n! oh my god, finally!” you hugged him. “lin’s gonna be jealous if he knows i met you first.” he giggled.

the two of you chatted, “so, what are you doing here?” “we just performed, and it’s my turn to get coffee.” they talked, and he received a call. “hey, it was really nice meeting you. but, i gotta go- jazzy’s asking bout her coffee.” he smiled. you stood up as well, “yeah. i gotta sleep as well.” you joked. “see you next week!” you said to him. “what about you come with me?” he suddenly asked. you were shocked to hear his sentence. “i-is it okay?” you asked. “of course! let’s go!”

“everyone, i’m back! and i brought someone.” anthony opened the door, and the stage was full of people. the freckled boy walked towards the stage, and you followed him. everyone noticed that you were there. “Y/N? IS THAT REALLY YOU?” daveed yelled. “hi.” you greeted the people on stage. renée ran to you, and gave you a hug. “renée, its been a long time since i’ve seen you.” you said to her. you knew renée since you were only 16. “i’m jazzy, and i really love your acting!” jazzy suddenly came to you. you smiled at her, “y/n, and i really love your voice.” you said.

anthony realized that lin was not on stage. “where’s lin?” he asked oak. “oh, i think he’s backstage.” oak answered him. “then i gotta surprise him.” anthony smirked. “uh, y/n- can you come here?” you walked towards anthony, “let’s go backstage, lin’s there.” you quickly followed anthony, and he gestured you to lin’s dressing room. you knocked, “i’m busy!” he yelled. you kept knocking, “jesus, i said i’m busy.” but you continued to knock. you muffled a giggle, and knocked for the last time. “who the fuck is i-” he opened the door and saw you.

“hi.”

and lin stood there in shock, he didn’t know what to do. “y-y/n? oh my god. it’s really you. i don’t know what to say,” you tackled lin into a hug. “you are much cuter in real life.” he hugged you back. “thank you, and you are really fucking cute as well.” lin replied. as the two of you were still hugging, you heard someone coughing behind you. it was anthony, “so, lin. finally met your celebrity crush huh?” he teased his friend. “fuck you.”


@lin_manuel
i finally met @y/n, anthony surprised me!
(insert pic)

@y/n
we’re in the same room why are you tweeting at me @lin_manuel

@lin_manuel
i want to see your reaction;) @y/n

“did you just winked in real life?”

@y/n
everytime @lin_manuel uses a winking emoticon, he winks in real life as well

@lin_manuel
stop exposing me @y/n

lin and you immediately clicked, you talked about everything, you both were flirting at each other. “and when you attacked the villain, that was awesome!” lin was talking about your tv show- which he was really obsessed with. “aww, thank you.” “i love it so much, i’m obsessed with you.” and he paused for a second. “that sounded wrong, i’m sorry.” he then proceeded to blush again. “you look cute when you’re embarrassed.” “well, you don’t have to be embarrassed to be cute.” he smirked.

“yeah, i really enjoyed meeting the cast! they’re so nice.” both of you ended up having dinner together. being the classy person you were, you chose mcdonald’s. lin chewed his fries, as he nodded. “and i really enjoyed meeting you as well,” you continued your sentence. “today’s really fun. thank you, lin.” you stood up, and kissed his cheeks. “i want to know you better,” “then cancel next week’s backstage tour, let’s go on a date.”

ALTERNATE ENDING;

@lin_manuel
i hope y/n is fine

@lin_manuel
hey, if you are reading this- y/n, i love you so much

@lin_manuel
i really miss you

@lin_manuel
come back

@enews
rest in peace, rising star- y/n l/n. died of cancer, you will be missed

*watching pacific rim* wow, this charlie day guy plays a cool maverick scientist really well! i can only guess he’s playing to type like burn gorman is, but i gotta check out some of his other stuff to see what he does in other roles

*watching it’s always sunny* ……why…..why did you cast him as a scientist…..what about the nightman made you choose this path, guillermo……what made you pick this trash man to be scientist man….

@ all my nonbinary folk!!

Do you have a strong jaw?? if so, youre cute!

Do you have a round face?? if so, youre cute!

Are you short?? if so, youre cute!

Are you tall?? if so, youre cute!

Are you average height?? guess what, youre still cute!

What about hairy nonbinaries?? Well, it says here on my official cute nonbinaries chart that youre cute!

Buff nonbinaries?? Cute!

Nonbinaries with glasses?? Cute!

Nonbinaries with long hair?? Cute!

Nonbinaries with short hair?? Cute!

Braces nonbinaries! Brown eyed nonbinaries! Cute and cute!

Handicappied nonbinaries?? This may be tough to hear, but youre super cute as well.

Nonbinaries without “perfect” teeth?? Cute, and keep on smiling!

Freckle nonbinaries?? Cute!

Vitiligo nonbinaries?? Cute!

Wow! Look at how many types of cute nonbinaries there are! This post would go on forever if I continued! Looks like ill have to sum it up.

you. yes, you. im talking to you. you are a cutie. youre adorable. which is why I made this post for you and all other cute nonbinaries out there. stay strong!

anonymous asked:

Is it true that you're just a PB shill? It seems like every time there are any legitimate criticisms against them or their decisions such as implementing obnoxious diamond choices or character developments that make no sense in the context of the story, you leap to their defense and try to downplay the opinions of others

Wow.

Just… wow.

C'mon, Anon. Seriously?

“Is it true that you’re just a PB shill?”

I have stated several times I do not work for Pixelberry.

I also do not believe Pixelberry is the type of company who would get “shills”. Based on what we know of their company culture, I doubt having shills is part of their strategy. I may be wrong, but this is my opinion.

Now if you say I’m defending Pixelberry, well, yes, I totally am. Why? Because I have brand love. And before you say I’m buttering up or whatever, look the term ‘brand love’ up.

“It seems like every time there are any legitimate criticisms against them or their decisions such as implementing obnoxious diamond choices or character developments that make no sense in the context of the story, you leap to their defense and try to downplay the opinions of others.”

Let’s break this down.

Every time? I disagree. Look up my previous posts and you’ll see this is far from correct.

Leap to their defense? I do defend Pixelberry from time to time AND I’ve also had my share of complaints about them.

Downplay the opinions of others? I disagree. A difference in opinion does not mean downplaying other’s opinions.

Wow. Just… wow.

Forever the One

Summary: When Omega Dan is of age, he is told by his father that he will be sold off to find an Alpha mate. Cue, Alpha Phil. Alpha Phil is in desperate need for a mate, and although Phil is only a few years older than Dan, he holds a reasoning behind why he needs a mate so quickly. When secrets are revealed that give up why Phil needed a mate, this story may not have a happy ending.

Chaptered Work: This is chapter 4 of 16.

Warnings: None! But if anyone notices one, PLEASE message me and tell me so I can change this! 

Word Count: 1,680

Authors Note: This chapter is made to not only foreshadow, but begin to progress the story faster. I’m hoping this worked and I really begin making a great impression with this story. Soon enough, you’re not gonna know what hit you or where it came from! Anyways, happy reading! :) 

*Masterlist*

Keep reading

Age Is Just A Number (Thor)

are you guys ready for some garbage? too quiet? let me just- ARE YOU GUYS READY FOR SOME GARBAGE? CAUSE YOU’RE GONNA GET IT YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!


“Don’t lie.” You order, staring down the five-year-old before you.

“I’m not lying, Steve shoved me down the stairs.” Natasha blinks, her eyes big and doe like as she gazes at you. She’s too innocent.

“Then why aren’t you hurt?” You question and the tiny redhead doesn’t even hesitate. Her little lying ass.

“Cause it didn’t hurt, I have super healing.” She answers instantly and you can’t help groaning and collapsing back onto the couch behind you. Natasha pauses, watching you before she climbs onto your lap and wraps her arms around your neck.

“I know you were worried about me.” She sighs, pressing a kiss to your cheek before she’s suddenly distracted by Pietro chasing Peter across the room.

“Oof!” Peter grunts as he trips, headfirst into the carpet, and worry fills you. Natasha slips from your arms, cautiously closing in as Peter sits up dazedly. Pietro laughs at him, only for a strangled scream to part his lips.

“No! Don’t!” He begs as Natasha shoves his face into the carpet, her tiny fist raining down on his shoulder over and over again.

“Oh my god!” You snap, scooping her off him and wincing as she pulls his hair. “Let go.”

“Fine.” She snaps, squirming out of your grip to help Peter to his feet and pat his head. “He’s all better!”

“No, I’n not!” The little spider kid whines, fat tears pooling in his eyes and you can see the moment, almost like slow motion, that Natasha decides to hit him in the face. Mores the pity, you’re to slow and her shove rains down like a light breeze on a leaf.


“How’re you doing?” Bruce grimaces from behind the glass sliding door and you scowl at him. Tony appears behind him, a serious expression on his face.

“I don’t know, I’m stuck with five children with ages ranging from four to six. I’m doing abso-tootely amazing.” You growl, making sure to point at the way Steve is clinging to your calf.

“Wanda’s behaving well at least.” Tony points out and your gaze goes to the little girl colouring in the corner while her brother rampages around the couch.

“Oh yeah, she’s a real treasure that one, all she’s doing is colouring everything in red and putting crosses over the eyes.” You huff, dragging Steve from off your leg and hefting him into your arms instead where he tucks his head under your chin.

“I’m not sorry.” Tony says, shaking his head at the chaos you’re surrounded by.

“Well maybe instead of standing there not being sorry you could work faster and get me the hell out of here.”

“Hey! Hey! For all we know it’s contagious.”

“Screw you guys.”


“Guys! I’ve been in here for seven hours, I’m fine! It’s not contagious!” You shout, slamming your palm against the glass door fruitlessly. You’re suffering.

“I’m hungry!” Steve sobbed, curled into a ball on the couch. You’d go pet him or something if he didn’t turn away from you every time you sat next to him with a violent sob. He’s being ridiculous.

So is Natasha though. You’d never have thought the Ah Satan of her name would apply, until you saw her pinning down Pietro and biting him. That doesn’t sound so bad, lets clarify, she was biting him with the intent to eat him. In her words, he wouldn’t shut up and I was hungry and I wanted him to die cause he wouldn’t shut up.

“We’re sending in Thor with a tray of nine sandwiches. Just in case.” Tonys voice says over the speakers and you scoff, rolling your eyes at the half fearful, half amazed look on the gathered childrens faces.

“Eventide, my love.” Thor booms without a care, setting down the tray and you’re about to burst into complaining when suddenly- another child.

“God dammit!” You snarl, your fist slamming against the window as four-year-old Thor starts to sob. “Come here, you little portent. It’s okay, it’s okay.”

Gently, you rock him in your arms while reaching down and handing triangles of sandwiches down to hungry fingers.

“Everyone eaten?” You ask the kids around the room, little chirps answering you with the affirmative.

“I haven’t.” Thor sniffles in your arms and you coo at him, offering him a triangle of sandwich, which he takes gently.

“You ready to be set down? Go sit with Stevie?” You ask him gently and he sniffles once more but nods, no more tears falling and you beam. Setting him on his feet, you watch him bound over to Steve and crash into the other child, which leads to a wrestling match- obviously.

“I hate you guys.” You call to the roof and tapping sounds from the door.


“Here. My blood, take it and fix them.” You snarl, dropping the vials into the envelope and slipping it out the three centimetre door crack. Not even fair.


“How’re you doing?” Bucky asks from behind the glass and you groan a weak sound. You’re under six babies, all asleep and clinging to you.

“I’m weak.” You whimper, unable to even lift your hand to the glass or turn your head too far.

“You look it.” Comes his soft laugh and you hiss a breath as Wanda stirs before she returns to sleep, her ear to your heart.

“I want to get out of here.” You repeat and he makes a noise of agreement. You’re surrounded by your teammates who were normal one moment, and suddenly, children the next. Seriously.

You’d all been watching The Office and then suddenly Pietro was squalling on the couch, then Wanda suddenly became the weird kid, Natasha and Steve following in quick succession, then lastly came Peter who had been sitting beside you. When you’d remained normal, you figured it must have been something the others ate and you hadn’t. Or you’d eaten it later like the leftover Chinese from the new place.

But with Thors entrance and sudden infantification, you’d realized you were destined to be the only adult left.

“This makes no sense.” You mutter, glaring at the lounge room. Anything that might have been the cause, chemical or magical in origin, likely was trashed with the rest of the room. It didn’t stand a chance against four bored kids. To reiterate, little Wanda is such a weirdo. “I might also have to break up with Thor after this.”

“Why?”

“I’ll never forget today and what a terror he is as a child, and every time I’ll look at his face, I’ll see that.” You point to the tiny cherubic face of what was once your boyfriend. “Also, in this moment, I’m a literal cradle robber.”

“Disgusting.” Bucky snickers, and you sigh, your head thunking against the glass. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s no ones fault, as far as we know.” You mumble, your thumb rubbing circles over tiny Steves back.

“A cure!” Tony announces, waking all the kids at once and starting up six sobbing screams, in unison.

“If I don’t have it in my hand in two seconds, I’ll murder you.” You mouth to him through the cacophony and he swallows hard, pressing the button and letting the door slide open.

“Here.” He croaks, handing you the tiny bottle and you drag him through the doorway, waving at Bucky to shut the door.

“You’re coming in, you’ve been exposed too much.” You smirk, shoving him down onto the couch and herding the utterly depressed children up next to him. “Show me your tongues, sweethearts.”

As they stick their tongues out, you drop two drops of the liquid on their tongues, per the instructions, and then throw yourself against the opposite couch.

Steve is the first to come around, bursting into his regular size and promptly falling asleep. Then Natasha, who follows suit, then almost as one the rest are regular sized and asleep. Even Tony, who was a child for three seconds, is out like a light.


“What was it?”

“A mix of the Chinese food and the subtle radiation we’re all exposed to.”

“So anyone could turn into a baby at any moment, all their customers-”

“No, no, the radiation we’re exposed to.”

“Wait what?” You blink, frowning at Bruce as Tony makes quiet whining noises in the background. When the lot of them had reawaken, they were all struck by a nasty hangover.

“In the work we do, and where we live, and the equipment we use, as well as any cellular modifications in our bodies, we’re constantly surrounded by low level radiation. It’s set higher than what a regular person would take in, and it’s more dangerous as the type changes with where we are or what we’re doing. What it is also, is unavoidable. This is the task we’ve undertaken and it’s too late for us now anyways.” Bruce shrugs, picking up the chart beside him and examining it once more.

“Wow.” You exhale, moving dazedly from the room and heading back to your own. “Then why was I-”

“I’ve noted it before but it never seemed important, but your powers make your body like lead in the fact that radiation just sheers off of it. I can’t explain it, and never felt the need to since it hadn’t affected you or the others in any way. I can look into it if-”

“No, no, don’t worry.” You laugh, eyeing your skin curiously but shrugging it off. What’s the point in learning more? Even lead can be melted down, just like death comes for everyone.


“My heart, could you but lay a cool towel upon my brow?” Thor whines, huddled under your blankets and for a moment you’re struck by differing images- tiny Thor huddled under your blanket who you want to break up with, and regular Thor from a month ago, sick and adorably loving.

“Sure.” You gulp, moving to the bathroom and breathing in deeply, only to choke. “Did you throw up in here?”

“Mayhaps.” He groans weakly and you groan. Flicking on the fan, you shut the door behind yourself and clamber onto the bed beside your golden haired god.

“There.” Setting the towel over his forehead, you can’t help yourself from running your thumb over his jaw, and smiling when he ducks his chin and presses his lips to the pad of the digit. “We should talk.”

“You wish to break up with me now?” Thor whines, blinking pathetic and oceanic blue eyes up at you. “Could you not wait?”

“It might make it worse to wait.”

“You’re my heart.” Thor says, the words like a sledgehammer. Rude, unfair, inexcusable. He can’t throw around terms of affection like that when you’re trying to end things.

Your lips part to counter with something, anything, but there’s nothing you can say to that. Responding the same would be the opposite of breaking up and calling him a liar would just be rude, and of course a falsity. You know he’s not lying; he does love you.

“Mayhaps, my love, we could…” Thor trails off, sitting up with his eyes darting around the room nervously. You can see him searching for a solution for a problem you haven’t even told him about.

“I keep seeing the little kid you, Thor, and I can’t… Touch you or kiss you when I keep seeing a four-year-old.”

“Blast it all.” He snaps, “Damn it all Helheim and the lesser gods.”

“I know right.” You agree softly, letting his giant hand capture yours on the blankets. You stare at the two hands, yours smaller and softer than his, at the war scars that scatter both of your skin, your knuckles both scarred beyond repair.

“With time this may pass, I will wait.” Thor promises and your shoulders sag. He’s being a real jerk now.

“I can’t promise I will.” You counter, slipping from off the bed and pulling your hand from his. You’re glad that he lets you go, and you’re glad when you return hours later that he is gone and all his stuff has disappeared too.


wow amirite

yeesh

BTS Reaction to You Dancing to Hyuna’s ‘How’s This?’

Jin: “Yah! Jagi, you can’t dance like that when you’re here at the dorm! What if the perverted maknae line saw you dancing like that? Thank God it was only me. You dancing like that is for my eyes only, okay?” *possessive mama Jin activated*

Originally posted by strawberrie-kookie

Suga: “God, babe, when did you learn to dance like that? You should really show me your dancing more often, it’s not like I’m not used to seeing your body move in that type of way.”

Originally posted by jeonsshi

J-Hope: “Jagiya~ Did you prepare this just for lil’ ol’ me? No! No! Don’t stop! You’re good! So, so, good…what?! No I was not imagining you moving like that on top of me! But…now that you gave me the idea-”

Originally posted by toomuchsweg

Rap Monster: “Damn babe, look at you go! But you know that nothing can compare to my legendary dancing. You’re a close second though.”

Originally posted by bangtaninspired

Jimin: “Wow…jagi you look so sexy dancing like that. How come I’ve never seen this before? Why would you even think of hiding this hidden talent from me? Can you do SISTAR’s ‘Touch My Body’ for me jagi? I swear I’ll give you something nice in return~”

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

V: “Aish, jagiya, why do you do this to me? Are you trying to make the beast in me come out? You’re too sexy for your own good. Its not fair! I have dance practice tomorrow so I can’t have any fun with you…but maybe you can have fun with me?~”

Originally posted by cmtae

Jungkook: *is shocked speechless* *he’s to mesmerized by the way you’re dancing*

Originally posted by reneemallen

anonymous asked:

RFA + V + Saeran + Rika ( I feel like she's left out too much ) find out that mc is a professional rapper and react?? Thank you

( ◞・౪・) Ooh, this is making me laugh a bit, haha. I hope I do this prompt well, I don’t listen to much rap often. Hopefully it isn’t too short!

(Also, I think they don’t write for her much because most of the fandom hates her. They’re kinda mean about it too. I don’t enjoy her, but she is a neat character! I haven’t written for her before so I’m sorry if it’s weird!)


Yoosung

-What.

-He laughed at first, thinking your were joking. “Come on, don’t start acting like Seven!”

-But you laughed along, “Really, really! I can! Watch!”

-You pulled up a video of one of your songs, where you were actually in the music video for it, and watched his jaw drop.

-”Oh my god…How can you speak that fast?? Can you rap in front of me??”

-Cute dork hasn’t listened to much rap (he probably feels ‘Cool’ when he does), but from that day on he listened to yours, and sometimes even tried to rap as fast as you (failing, horribly)

Zen

-He didn’t know why, but you seemed familiar to him. At least your voice did a bit.

-He didn’t question it, because he loved how you sounded, and figured he was just being weird about it.

-You seemed to really understand how he needed to be a bit careful in public- Waaay more understanding than he thought

-It wasn’t until you came along one day to watch him practice did a co-star freak out, and then he put two and two together

-Immediately wants to watch every single video, listen to every single song

-”How do you move like that? Can you teach me? Whoa!”

-Offers to star in a few videos, and even try to sing with you (dork)

Jaehee

-What?

-She wasn’t sure how you managed to help pay the coffee-house bills, especially since you couldn’t work there much. In fact, she never really asked what kind of job you did have.

-Something that had a high paycheck, thats for sure.

-One day she came home a bit early- Too tired from sorting out a few issues at the cafe- and she found you…singing?

-Oh god, no, you were rapping.

-She saw you and looked so confused, and when you noticed you just busted out laughing and explained you were practicing.

-”For…What?”

-So you showed her some of your previous videos and explained you were making sure you got all the words right for your new song

-Jaehee was just…Shocked. Oh my lord. You sang about this stuff?That did explain a few things.

-”I don’t understand it all too well, but I’ll attend every performance.”

- “Concert, Jaehee.”

Seven

-He knewwww he knew he knew, and he was so excited. After you two finally had time alone together, not with the whole RFA mess happening, he planned his attack

-Cheesy ‘rap gear’ with a full on fake performance of one of your songs.

-The look he got was Worth It. Every bit.

-After the laughter died down, he did tell you he thought you were great at what you did. Once he found out who you were, and that you were willing to put up with the RFA, he listened to all your songs

-Even demos (How did he get these?)

-He’d want to learn how to rap better, just so he could do it with you and tease you

Jumin

-No. No no no.

-He disliked this type of ‘music’ so so much.

-It made no sense? It was too fast and mostly undignified, and he did not want any association with it

-Why not better your talents with something else more worth while?

-After his first initial shock, he’d try to enjoy at least your music, but would just..Fake it. (You could tell). He’d go backstage at your shows but thats it.

-Would beg you not to talk about him in any songs

V

-”You’re good at wrapping? Like gifts?”

-Babe….No…

-”Wow, really?” He’s met many people who expressed themselves in different ways, so he tries his best to be supportive. I mean, you support his photography.

-He doesn’t understand all the songs, but he’s willing to let you explain it and let him relisten to the songs

-It isn’t really his thing, but he wants to support you

-Offers to help you come up with covers, or use his work as a cover as well

Saeran

-We all know this guy listens to punk and rock and punkrock

-Probably never gave rap a chance because he thought it was stupid

-But as soon as he finds out about it….He slowly puts your songs on his MP3.

-Spends a while trying to figure out what some of them even mean

-Approaches you on day trying to be casual going “So the song ____ is about ___, right?”

-You laugh and tell him what its about, and his cheeks get so red.

-”Well, it’s stupid anyway!” But we both know he’s rethinking about the other’s meanings.

-Goes to Every Single Concert

Rika

-”Wow, really? That’s…That’s different!”

-She’s not that interested in it either

-But, since it’s you, well…She’ll give it a shot.

-Tries to sing along and fails miserably, gets embarrassed when you catch her listening to it

-Would stay backstage and watch your concerts, giving you lots of compliments when you were done

-”How do you have so much stamina? How did you manage to make a new song so soon??”


( ゚▽゚)/ Requests are still open!