but with like a real horse

repuwutation  asked:

real talk this fandom values heart breaking lyrics over happy ones like. fearless is jst as lyrically amazing as white horse but we both know which one gets the fandom praise and its like u can like what u like thts awesome but stop not acknowledging goo lyrics bc they dont make u cry!!! "ocean blue eyes look into mine i think i might sink and drown and die" is just as good as "touch me and you'll never be alone" but people talk about the latter being good lyrics from rep and h8 gorgeous!!

and the hype over sexy lyrics. like: 

“in the middle of the night in my dreams you should see the things we do baby” / “ocean blue eyes look into mine and i might sink and drown and die” - why does one get so much more hype over the other?

horse friend “evolutions”

Newly hatched - A normal horse. Poops a lot.

After 999 days (if you have petted it at least once) - Your horse gets a nice medal for being so good at not dying.

After 999 days (if you have not petted it at all) - Your horse becomes a Zombie and cannot evolve further.

After obtaining a medal AND being petted 10,000 times - Your horse becomes a Unicorn!

After obtaining a medal AND being petted at least once but no more than 10 times per in-game day, for 50 in-game days straight - Your horse becomes a Pegasus!

After meeting the conditions for both Unicorn and Pegasus evolutions - Your horse becomes an Alicorn! Not known to evolve any further.

After obtaining a medal and then reaching 1,999 days without evolving to a Pegasus, Unicorn or Alicorn - Your horse becomes Sleipnir! Not known to evolve any further.

the types as bitches i hate in college and also ive had a lot of wine

ESFJ: that social butterfly bitch that doesn’t understand anything ever without asking twelve clarifying questions before you can explain shit, like i was gonna explain that obvious feature of your new iphone in four seconds chris, how about you chill and stop acting like IM the weird one

ISFJ: that boring nice bitch who has probably never had a unique individual thought in their life. they’re like, solely reactionary beings, the true wobbuffets of real life.

ESFP: that crazy bitch whose super weird but everybody likes because theyre just weird enough to be likable but never hangs out with you consistently because theyre too involved with theatre or ecstasy or some shit idk

ISFP: that sarcastic bitch whose somehow still obsessed with fandoms and superwholock and probably owns a horse back home or something

ENFJ: that starry eyed bitch who loves everybody and wants to save the world or some shit, idk, my eyes glazed over a quarter way through your monologue; besides, it all just pans out to you feeling bad about yourself because you can’t live up to the impossible standards you set for yourself anyways so am i really missing anything???

INFJ: that passive aggressive bitch whos always gotta remind you that they’re the most rare mbti type, and act all ethereal and distant and shit when we all know ur a dime a dozen on a college campus anyways

ENFP: that emotionally dead bitch who convinces everybody that theyre not because theyre so enthusiastic and tells you their whole life story the first time you meet them to cause shock and awe but also to get you lowkey emotionally attached

INFP: that sensitive bitch who wants to be a writer or an artist or something but is too obsessed with memes to get very far 

ESTJ: that polysci bitch who runs for class president when everybody knows damn well you don’t do any real anything on campus and the dean regards you with as much contempt as i do

ISTJ: that awkward bitch who knows they’re not that fun so they try really hard to put themselves out there and just makes it awkward and weird for the whole party

ESTP: that loud bitch who gotta be the center of attention all the time and everybody likes for some reason

ISTP: that angry bitch whose a wannabe sociopath and always telling you how much they hate people and want to murder people for, like, literally no reason like calm down edgelord tom.

ENTJ: that problematic bitch who starts shit right at the end of class because success and proving that they know shit is the only thing that makes them feel anything anymore

INTJ: that condescending sarcastic ass bitch that rolls their eyes whenever somebody raises their hand and is probably one dumb question away from bringing a gun to school

ENTP: that annoying bitch who starts arguments in class with everybody because they think its fun or wanna prove they know useless knowledge or logic or some shit idk stanley and idc just stop arguing with the professor its psych 101 and i want to go home

INTP: that quiet bitch who spends the whole party looking around in the corner and asking their friend if they can leave yet and only talks during class to explain something semi useless and tangental to the topic at hand 

listen. fiction may be fiction, but fiction is created by real, actual people and it has real, actual implications and consequences. fiction does not exist in a bubble of “it doesn’t really matter”, it has never existed in a bubble of “it doesn’t really matter”, and people being critical of fictional works for how they present real, actual things that really, actually happen is important.

“IT’S JUST FICTION” is not a fucking defense. it is not a good excuse. it has never been a good excuse. it will never be a good excuse. creations by real, actual people have real, actual implications in our real, actual world, and if people are critical of some work of fiction, there’s usually a pretty solid reason for that.

the signs as weird little quirks
  • Aries: imagining what it would be like to fly around everywhere with fairy wings
  • Taurus: wearing mismatched socks and 3D glasses all the time
  • Gemini: wearing a party hat to funerals
  • Cancer: pretending to be a cat no matter how inappropriate the situation
  • Leo: licking your monitor to try and taste the pictures on the screen
  • Virgo: yelling at everything, especially inanimate objects
  • Libra: constantly consulting a magic eight ball for advice
  • Scorpio: carrying both lipstick and a miniature chainsaw in your bag
  • Sagittarius: prancing around the house with a “magic” wand even though you know magic isn’t real
  • Capricorn: buying tons of exotic milk, like milk from cows or horses
  • Aquarius: putting clown horns on your shoes so you honk every time you take a step
  • Pisces: getting really confused and disoriented by zodiac posts and not really being sure why
breath of the wild horse tips

so i just caught this real good horse

and i thought i’d write out everything ive learnt since i started wrt horses??


catching a horse

catching horses is very simple, either drop down on it from above or sneak up on it. dont stand directly behind it incase it kicks.

you can run at a group of horse to split them up so its easier to sneak up on the individual horse when its calmed down, as when theyre in a group if one horse spots you they will all run away.

finding a good horse

there’s like lots of theories about horse colour and relation to stats but personally i dont find that a very practical way of identifying if a horse is good or not.

heres my advice:

- my general experience has been that solid coloured horses have wild personalities and the ones with the patchy butts are mild

- the harder it is to break the horse (soothe it into letting you ride) the higher its level.
if you don’t have much stamina, cook up some stamina restoration/boosts

- generally, the higher level the area, the higher level the horse.

That is to say, if the surrounding monsters are Extremely Dangerous, the horse will probably have more stars. I found Franziska beyond two lynels.

- If you want to find a fast horse, get on the nearest horse and chase some of the others around for a bit (dont boost!).

Wild horses wont gallop at full speed so if you have to hammer A to keep up, dismount and sneak up on it cause that horse is much faster than yours! Otherwise, you’ve found the fastest horse already. 

increasing your bond

there are a few specific moments where you can soothe your horse to raise its bond. you’ll need to get the timing right, but these are the triggers:

- when you get on your horse and tell it to move, you can soothe it.

- when your horse slows down and regains a spur, you can soothe it.

- new horses will sometimes toss their heads, you can soothe them then

- additionally a new horse will occasionally veer in a different direction. Redirect it back to the path, and you can soothe it

- as well as this, if you tell your horse to leave the path (turning sharply after leaving it on autopilot) you can soothe it

- if your horse doesn’t move at the speed you tell it to, you can soothe it and then boost

- if your horse rears back, you can soothe it

- if your horse jumps over something, you can soothe it

- if your horse gets hit, you can soothe it providing you’re still on it.

your horse will misbehave occasionally until you register it even if you max its bond

riding your horse

so in games like ocarina of time and twilight princess, the most efficient way to ride epona is to use between 1-4 boosts and leave the last boost so she doesnt get tired and recovers the boosts faster

not so in breath of the wild. there’s no slowdown penalty for using up all your spurs, it’s more efficient to use all the spurs and then soothe your horse when they slow down, and repeat.


trust your horse to know the best path, and only direct it when the path forks. if you’re riding a wild horse be alert for your horse running into walls, but otherwise let your horse pick the path.

you can climb most hills on your horse, but stick to cantering & non-boosted gallops, or you’ll not be able to direct your horse.

bonus: catching deer

to catch a deer easily, consume something that gives you speed up, or drop onto it from above.

If you want to sneak up on it like a horse, you’ll want level 3 stealth, their hearing is very sensitive.

I find it’s easier to just chase them, they’re not too difficult to catch with a bit of practice as theyre not as fast as horses.

Ancient wisdom from the neural network

What happens when really old advice meets really new technology?

A recurrent neural network (like the open-source char-rnn framework used here) can teach itself to imitate recipes, paint colors, band names, and even guinea pig names. By examining a dataset, it learns to formulate its own rules about it, and can use these rules to generate new text that - according to the neural network - resembles the dataset. But since the neural network is doing all this without cultural context, or any knowledge of what the words really mean, the results are often a bit bizarre.

In this example, the dataset is a list of more than 2000 ancient proverbs, collected by reader Anthony Mandelli. Some of these are well-known, such as “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” and “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” Others are frankly a bit strange: “Where there’s muck there’s brass.” and “A curst cow has short horns.” and “Be not a baker if your head is made of butter.”

What will a neural network make of this ancient wisdom?

If you answered “Really really weird proverbs”, you are correct.

A fox smells it better than a fool’s for a day.
No songer in a teacuper.
A fool in a teacup is a silent for a needle in the sale.
No man is the better pan on the hunder.
A mouse is a good bound to receive.
Do not come to the cow.

Some of them almost make sense:

A good wine makes the best sermon.
A good fear is never known till needed.
Death when it comes will have no sheep.
An ounce of the heart comes without an exception.
A good face is a letter to get out of the fire.
No wise man ever wishes to be sick.
A good excuse is as good as a rest.
There is no smoke without the best sin.
A good man is worth doing well.
A good anvil does not make the most noise.

While others would be more difficult to pass off as real proverbs:

We can serve no smort.
A good face is a letter like a dog.
A good earse makes a good ending.
Gnow will not go out.
Ung.
A fox smeep is the horse of the best sermon.
No sweet is half the barn door after the cat.
There is not fire and step on your dog and stains the best sermon.
An ox is a new dogn not sing in a haystar.

One of the oddest things to emerge from the proverb-trained neural network is a strange obsession with oxen. I checked, and there were only three oxen-related proverbs in the dataset, yet they appear frequently in the neural network’s version, and usually as rather powerful creatures.

An ox can lever an enemies are dangerous and restens at home.
An ox is not to be given with a single stone.
An ox is never known till needed.
An ox is as good as a best.
An ox is not to be that wound is hot.
An ox is a silent for the gain of the bush.
An ox is not fill when he will eat forever.

Whatever the internal mythos the neural network has learned from these ancient proverbs, oxen are mysteriously important.

Why I Quit German

WARNINGS: This story is really gross and/or horrifying but also hilarious imho.  Your health always comes first, so mind the tags:  Violence, Cannibalism Mention, Suicidal Ideation, Feces, Sleep Deprivation, Airplanes, I generally had a really bad time but now it’s hysterical.  Most of the story is under the cut because it’s eight miles long.


In August of 2009 I flew back to Honolulu to do my sophomore year of college with the intention of entering 400-level german. What happened instead is the closest I’ve ever come to personally dying or actually murdering someone.

The problem started the day before my flight, when I attended a birthday party for a very dear cousin in Denver, and due to be in 1 of 2 adults present, ended up driving a bunch of teenagers home and didn’t get home until 12:30 that night.  Oh well, my flight’s at 6AM anyway, I’ll just stay up. I can sleep on the plane, I thought, like a complete fucking fool.

Keep reading

not to beat a dead horse but it literally doesn’t matter whether or not the ‘queer alignment chart’ is bait/trolling/what-have-we or not because 1. acting like lesbians/gay men/trans women are Dumb and Gullible for seeing an expression of attitudes people have towards em in real life makes u a very sad person with very little understanding of like, other peoples experiences methinks and 2. even if the op is ostensibly bait the number of most probably real people who read through the entire post and could apparently think of nothing to respond to it with but “lol!! im lawful good :3″ tells you like everything you need to know doesnt it

🐙 Crystals for Animals! 🐙

I’ve compiled this list of crystals by animal type. These stones can be used to represent the energy of that animal type, or to heal an animal of that type. This is all based on my own intuition and what I’ve read about these gems.

These crystals can help heal your pets physically, mentally, and spiritually, but don’t use them as a substitute for a real vet! And don’t let your babies consume parts of the crystals at all!

Mammals

(cats, dogs, horses, smaller creatures like mice and hamsters)

  • Black Tourmaline
  • Brown Jasper
  • Carnelian
  • Crazy Lace Agate
  • Moldavite
  • Moss Agate
  • Pyrite
  • Red Jasper
  • Rose Quartz
  • Rhodonite
  • Smoky Quartz
  • Unakite Jasper

Birds

(parrots, macaws)

  • Apophyllite
  • Blue chalcedony
  • Clear Quartz
  • Kyanite
  • Labradorite
  • Moonstone
  • Peridot
  • Sodalite
  • Spirit Quartz
  • Sugilite
  • Turquoise

Fish and Amphibians

(Frogs, axolotl)

  • Aquamarine
  • Clear Quartz
  • Dalmatian Stone
  • Dendritic Agate
  • Iolite
  • Kambaba Jasper
  • Moldavite
  • Serandite
  • Tanzanite
  • Unakite Jasper

Reptiles

(Lizards, snakes)

  • Bloodstone
  • Garnet
  • Jade
  • Malachite
  • Moldavite
  • Onyx
  • Pyrite
  • Rainbow Fluorite
  • Rhodolite
  • Spirit Quartz

Bugs

(moths, tarantulas, beetles)

  • Blue John Fluorite
  • Clear Quartz
  • Jade
  • Larimar
  • Moldavite
  • Onyx
  • Smoky Quartz
  • Sunstone
  • Turritella Agate
  • Wood Jasper
  • Yellow Jasper

I hope this was helpful, have a lovely day! <3

anonymous asked:

Since bitty is (I think?) the first openly gay player in the NHL in the fics, what about other players hitting on him when they play the schooners, or even better, during the all star game when jack is right there?

The game so far has been nothing memorable, just another pre-season exhibition against Edmonton that neither team really want to give their all because why risk anything before the season even starts?

“Bittle,” Burig, a second line Oilers winger, flags Eric down at the end of the second period, with a look of grim determination that gives Eric the sense he’s about to be sucker-punched.

“Yeah?”

“You, uh,” Burig hesitates, gnawing on his mouthguard and twisting his stick in his hands while he comes up with whatever he wants to say. He huffs and looks around for any teammates that might be watching the exchange, finding the rest of his line distracted, he leans in close. “You doing anything after the game?”

Eric blinks. “What?” 

“Just,” Burig shrugs, face flushing pink, “wanted to see if you’d like to grab a drink or something.”

“Oh. Oh!” Someone from the bench yells his name and Eric is faced with a dilemma he knows he can’t resolve in the next 15 seconds. “Wait for me after the game, we can talk.”

Burig nods tightly, beet red, and skates back to his own bench.

Just another thing for Eric to think about while coach yells at him for missing an unnecessary pep talk.

____

Burig is waiting for Eric when he leaves the locker room, hair still damp and his suit slightly rumpled like he’d thrown it on in a rush, which makes Eric feel worse for some reason.

“Hey,” he perks up when he sees Eric, sliding his phone into his gear bag. “You wanted to talk?” He sounds so earnest it hurts and Eric motions to a meeting room just off the hallway.

“It’ll be a bit more private in here.”

Eric doesn’t waste time when the doors close, Burig isn’t the first player to approach him and he certainly won’t be the last.

“You’re very sweet, but I have a boyfriend.”

“Fuckin’ knew it,” Burig curses, shouldering his duffel bag. “No way someone as hot as you is single. Worth a shot, right?”

“Were you looking for a hook-up or?”

“No, not like that, I just kinda,” he hesitates like he’s afraid of saying too much.

“Safe space,” Eric waves his arms to indicate the empty room. “Be honest.”

“I’m tired of Grindr and puckbunnies and bar hookups, you know? I want something real.”

Eric immediately runs through a list in his mind of the few single players he’s met in similarly awkward situations. “You play in Vancouver next week, right?”

Burig’s eyes go wide and Eric holds up a warning finger. “Hold your horses. I may have a friend in a similar situation, but it’ll be on his terms if he wants to reach out. Give me your number, and I’ll pass it along if he wants to meet. Okay? No promises.”

_______

“You want to tell me why we’re watching Vancouver slaughter Edmonton when we could be doing literally anything else?” Jack bemoans from the couch, poking and prodding at Eric to distract him.

“I’m invested, alright? You plant seeds, you watch ‘em grow.”

The clock runs out on the second period and Eric keeps his eyes trained on Vancouver’s goalie, Crivier, who waves Burig over in a moment of calm. The two talk, barely visible over the shoulder of a commentator, but moments later Burig skates away with a very prominent smile on face. 

“And boom goes the dynamite,” Eric whispers, grabbing the remote to switch over to the new season of House of Cards.

“You playing matchmaker again, Bits?” Jack laughs, pressing himself against Eric’s side and nuzzling at his neck.

“You know how much competition you’d have if I didn’t set up all the guys that hit on me with each other?” Eric breathes, sliding his fingers through Jack’s hair. “I could have a harem.”

Jack groans and squeezes Eric tightly. “I’ll fight everyone,” he murmurs, “even the guys I like.” 

“howdy…im mccree. im..37 years old. 38 in a moons turn. im..gay. i like…guns. i really like….my spurs. they jingle fine. i like horses. they ninny ‘n they neigh. guns are cool too. my belts shiny. pardon my french but it stands fer B, Bad, A, fer Ass, M, fer Mother, bless her heart, n F, fer…..Fucker. ‘n i pride myself on bakin’ a real mean huckleberry cobbler, jus’ like my meemaw taught me”

“everyone, say howdy back to mccree”

“howdy mccree”

anonymous asked:

I don't like clowns tbh, I'm more of a cowboy person, cowboys are much harder to take care of than most species of clowns as they need huge open spaces and greener pastures but it all pays off when you hear their loud yeehaws. They are solitary creatures and are magnificent to look at in the wild; my Sheriff type cowboy once showed me an amazing lasso trick that you rarely see in captivity.

cowboys are hardly comparable because theyre such a unique and different pet altogether. with clowns its a lot of fun and ruckus and though the space requirements aren’t much more than a large circus tent, they do tend to make a lot of noise and mess, whereas cowboys need acres upon acres of open land that doesnt need much upkeep (you can mow it every now and then, but if you let the grass just keep growing eventually you can train them to cut it themselves- it’s a territorial/grooming instinct that they might be happier if they can express. personal choice though)

not to mention clowns may require a ton of fun props and gags that are relatively cheap individually but add up rather quickly, but cowboys NEED ranch animals to thrive. you know i walked into a petstore once and saw a cowboy setup with a fucking plastic horse? like, the machine ones. THAT was being sold as this “deluxe play equipment” as an “upgrade” from rocking horses. it pissed me off. if you can’t own a horse, don’t get a fucking cowboy. and yeah sometimes that can be enough to satisfy their rancher needs, but if you can sustain a small herd of cattle, that’d definitely be the optimal setup.

“oh theyre cute i like the spurs on their boots, but i dont give my cowboys real ranches because i dont like hearing their little calls” that call is of a satisfied vaquero who is confident in his territory and welcoming challengers (its in their nature.) if you are repressing that need & that call, youre literally repressing their happiness and youre a gunsel who shouldnt be handling ANY pets.

Help. I’ve fallen hard for Mystic Messenger and I can’t get up. 

I’m one of those fans who have multiple MCs, cause damn they all deserve to be happy. It’s just more fun that way for me ^-^ In all my MM headcanons, art, and fanfics- I always use these girls. 

How their story works is that Unknown has 5 different girls to choose to send to the RFA, and whichever member he wants to manipulate determines which girl he chooses to be the party planner (and therefore determining what route the player is on.) All 5 of them were specifically chosen because Unknown knew they would have the most significant influence on their target RFA member.

If you want to know who they are and read more about them, just continue under the cut!

Keep reading

little horizon zero dawn things:

– Aloy leans forward when riding her horse (sorry, strider) up a hill and back when riding down, like youre supposed to, despite never having ridden or even seen a real horse in her life

– the mount machines all have properly animated gaits, two-beat trot three-beat canter four-beat gallop etc

– the little smile she makes when it’s snowing or raining and she puts her hands out you complain about the rain but i know the truth

– the pine saplings near pitchcliff

– studious pallas

– the poetry inside the metal flowers

– aloy’s little comments to herself when she’s picking herbs/climbing ice/the weather changes/she slides down a hillside/etc

– if you ride right up to the cutscene trigger while tracking dervahl the game animates her dismounting and patting the strider’s side as part of the cutscene

– tallnecks, esp. how they’re totally oblivious to you scrambling all over them

– the fact that you don’t need the focus to track because the environmental clues (footprints, blood smears, cart tracks, etc) are actually there

– sylens sends you a bunch of information and then there’s about a second’s worth of pause and he just sends you the definition of corporation as if that’s the only thing that might be confusing

– those two mysterious named rabbits up above devil’s thirst seriously what’s the deal with them

– the really gorgeous sunsets

– the crouch idle where she rocks back so it looks like she’s sitting

– going back to visit Rost and you actually can tell him about your journeys (i cried SO hard)

– npcs comment on what you’re wearing

– the little surprised hop-jump-look animation the watchers make when you throw a rock near them

– overridden ravagers rumbling and following you around

– the fact that overridden machines have unique animations for fighting other machines as opposed to you

– PHOTO MODE

– the sound the metal flowers make

– Aloy’s little shrug when she drops the safe through the floor

– aloy shutting down all the dudes who try to flirt with her

– seriously she’s so blunt i love it the world needs more blunt pragmatic heroines

– “it’s a door”

– the hair physics and the way the sun catches in the edges of her hair

– big machines knock over trees when they go into forested areas and it’s terrifying

– the way the fog moves over the ground in waves

– aloy’s crooked teeth and bushy eyebrows and slightly chubby face and she’s stocky but also ripped from years of hunting like she looks like a person shes perfect

– the fact that the mount machines have the same base body but slightly different sounds and idle animations

– did i mention studious pallas? i love him he is Trying his Best

iconic things from the lightning thief musical:

• “the gods are real and they have kids, and those kids have issues”

• the fact that the first thing percy says is “look, i didn’t want to be a half-blood”

• “he met a fury” “YOU’RE A FURRY WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LEGS??”

• "is there a fury after percy right now?” “a fury? oh no, IT’S A MINOTAUR” “WHAT’S A MINITAUR?” “IT’S HALF BULL” “like you?” “nO I’M HALF GOAT”

• the fact that chiron is a normal human, with a horse tail

• "oh great she’s crying”

• "WHATEVER!!”

• "i’m half god?“ "yea and i half care”

• "but he loves me!” “he loves you NOT”

• "PERCY JACKSON THE SUPREME LORD OF THE BATHROOM”

• the whole campfire song honestly

• the plastic squirrel in ‘lost’

• grover playing with his uncle ferdinand’s tail

• [high pitched voice] you deserve to be immortalised in stone [deep manly voice] FOREVER [giggle]

• "interesting choice to have him screaming”

• "excuse me miss? how long have you been at this hotel?” “well my brother and i arrived here just yesterday, may 1st! 1939!” “WE CAN SLEEP ON THE ROAD”

• "oh look! a bus to los angeles!” “are you sure that’s a good idea?” “this one we just won’t blow up”

• "DO I LOOK LIKE A CENTAUR TO YOU? it’s charon! with an a”

• charon pushing percy down on his face really hard and grover and annabeth just fanning his face

• GROVER ASKING CHARON IF SHE HAS ANY JOSH GROBAN SONGS

• "tartarus? like the fish sauce?”

• after they defeat ares, poseidon just makes THE BEST FUCKING ENTRANCE IN THEATRE HISTORY

• in a hawaiian shirt, on a staircase with wheels carried by human dolphins being like "he’s the true son of the sea”

• "i got your gift” “and i got yours. medusa’s head, really?”

• "i’ll have all the squirrels in the east searching for him”

• THE WHOLE ACTUAL MUSICAL!! HONESTLY THIS IS THE MOST ICONIC MUSICAL EVER WRITTEN

some of my favourite bits/random thoughts from beauty and the beast (2017)

(Warning: spoilers ahead) (this is long and goes through the entire movie cause i need to talk about it alright

  • the pretentiousness of the prince at the beginning and his face when he handles the rose - amazing face by dan stevens might i add 
  • how the entire castle kinda looks like a rose and when it crumbles whenever the petals fall - that shit was wild man 
  • that the town was actually diverse??? amazing and beautiful
  • WHEN BELLE IS READING AND SHE’S SURROUNDED BY FLOWERS/ROSES 
  • “she hasn’t made a fool of herself to gain my favour. What would you call that?” “Dignity” (same)
  • ALL THE ROSE MOTIFS HOLY FUCK OKAY 
  • that mother fucking groan in ‘belle (reprise)’ that every woman can relate to
  • HOW DOES THIS ENTIRE FAMILY TRUST THE INSTINCTS OF A HORSE AND TALK TO IT LIKE IT UNDERSTANDS EVERY FUCKING WORD? AMAZING AND MIND BLOWING 
  • when cadenza had that ‘oh shit’ moment 
  • maurice trying to act all chill before freaking the fuck out 
  • lets be real - every moment between lumiere and cogsworth
  • “Who are you?” “Who are you?” - same adam 
  • why doesn’t this castle have any railings? like, i understand its a dungeon or whatever….but like,,,safety people???
  • “or as i like to call it, the only wing” nice save lumiere 
  • table dancing in gaston….so many feelings for it 
  • “You can’t judge people by who their father is, now can you?” YASSSS GIVE ME BACKSTORY I LOVE THIS SHIT
  • the fact that adam/the beast struggles with having a normal conversation cause he’s an idiot who hasn’t interacted with people properly in yearssssssss
  • the fact that mrs potts is okay with belle leaving. she’s so sweet and i loved her in this
  • WHY DIDN’T LUMIERE LET BELLE EAT AT ALL DURING ‘BE OUR GUEST’? FUCKING RUDE
  • also, the amount of extra lumiere was in this scene? amazing 
  • does the beast sleep in a nest or a bed? like….i have a lot of feelings about this okay
  • (dan stevens knocks me out every time he talks in this movie okay. SO MUCH EMOTION)
  • the fact that the castle has a doggy door????
  • The way that the beast fainted, was like…..so very human and i love it okay
  • do you think agatha was fucking tired of waiting for a girl to come around or do you think it’s destiny that led her there - too many rose motifs have forced me into these thoughts
  • how nuts is gaston tho??? like the fuck is up with him really??
  • DAYS IN THE SUN THO - LIKE….LITTLE PRINCE DIDN’T REALLY GET TO SAY GOODBYE TO HIS MUM. I WANNA DIE 
  • “My favourite is romeo and juliet” *beast eyerolls for days* (like same dude)
  • BELLE’S REACTION TO SEEING THE LIBRARY - LETS BE REAL, SAME
  • (also, highly sure the library scene is where beast realises he likes belle) 
  • the beast imitating the horse; beautiful and adorable 
  • snowball scene
  • THE BEAST UNABLE TO HOLD ALL THE BOOKS. AMAZING
  • BEAST TRYING TO PLAY THAT HE ISN’T READING A ROMANCE - DORK 
  • “What do you say we run away?” - YAS BITCH YASSSSSS
  • “too touristy?” - i love him 
  • “LET’S GO HOME” AND FUCKING BEAST’S FACE, SO TENDER AND SOFT I WANT TO CRY
  •  the water from the bath splashing on lumiere….brilliant
  • THE BEAST WEARING MAKE UP I’M CRYING
  • the dress was beautiful and i will fight everyone who says it isn’t great 
  • THE PART OF THE DANCE WHERE THE BEAST DIPS BELLE AND THEN HAS HER UP ON HIS HIP IN LIKE ONE MOVE - FUCKING BRO, HE IS AMAZING
  • AND BELLE’S FACE THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE THING - SHE’S IN LOVE WITH HIM THE MOST IN THAT DANCE 
  • THE BEAST ASKING HER IF SHE COULD BE HAPPY THERE, THAT SHE MAY ACTUALLY FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM AND THERE’S ME CRYING IN THE CORNER 
  • The bit where the beast sees belle run away, that sharp exhale of like shock and sadness 
  • in evermore where the beast closes his eyes to go with the line “i close my eyes and she’s still there’ - LIKE, THAT ACTUAL HEAD SHAKE OF HIM REALISING HOW IN LOVE WITH HER HE IS. FUCKING RUIN ME
  • HE WAITED IN THE SAME SPOT HE LAST SAW HER. HE WOULD HAVE WAITED THERE FOREVER 
  • THE WAY THE BEAST’S VOICE IS SO DESPERATE AND SURPRISED TO SEE BELLE AGAIN AND HE IS SO HAPPY TO SEE HER 
  •  “I am not a beast” - YAS BITCH, YOU TELL HIM 
  • also…..adam fucking jumped across the castle to get to belle….goals 
  • the beast was shot 3 times in the back….i mean….tough as shit he is 
  • He just wanted her there, to say goodbye and he’s in love with her and i’m dead inside 
  • HE DIED WITH HIS EYES OPEN, FUCKIG MORBID 
  • when all the servants transformed….i cried 
  • i love dan stevens so i will defend his ridiculous hair until i die 
  • plus that kiss was gold and i loved it 
  • (tho i do wish he had said something to her in that moment, just something) 
  • i loved lumiere and plumette - so cute (but also it should have been lumiere and cogsworth)
  •  that final dance tho….amazing 
  • the growl
  • i’m done. i am dead inside because of this fucking movie i swear to g 

Why does everyone headcanon angus as being this innocent pure little angel who thinks heck is a bad word? He’s a sassy sarcastic little shit who has cursed in canon and aspires to be like taako and he’s great those things are not mutually exclusive but for real like he may be ten and desperate for thb’s approval but fuck he’ll shoot a fire crab in the god damn face and call the boys on their horse shit give him the credit he fucking deserves