but when she realizes it's not who she is and not what she wants

One of the things that Riordan didn’t do so well at was showing how the Seven’s experiences as children shaped them later in life. Because anyone who goes through half the stuff that the seven has knows that it leaves its marks.

I don’t care how great of a guy Paul Blofis is - Percy will still watch his every move, checking in with his mom and carefully watching for any sign that she was being mistreated. It happened before and he wouldn’t let it happen again. He flinches every time someone goes to give him a high-five, and while he’s slowly getting better that instinct to duck will never fully go away. People tease him because its weird for a kid his age to be so close to his mother, but he doesn’t care.

It took Annabeth YEARS to get to the point where she trusted Chiron enough to treat him like the father-figure he became. She kept waiting for that other shoe to drop, for him to realize that she wasn’t worth keeping around. Keeps waiting for Sally to turn on her, to say ‘stay away from my family, you aren’t safe’. Except for Percy, there has been no one in her life that she can rely on no matter what. Even though she knows he won’t, there’s a voice in the back of her head that says its only a matter of time until he leaves her too.

Nico wears terrifying clothes not because he’s the son of Hades, but because they scare people away. The less people that are close to him, the smaller the chances of people getting hurt because of him. He’s a control freak - if he is on a quest he plans out every last detail, and he has to run point. He volunteers for every quest that he can. The last time he let someone else lead while he stayed home, Bianca died. He doesn’t want anyone else to have to go through that pain. He hoards food - peanuts, protein bars, things that have lots of protein and fat in them.

Frank lives every day like it’s his last, because it just might be.

Hazel crosses the street when she sees a group of white men, and is extra polite to police officers. She still has to remind herself that she can sit wherever she wants, that she can eat at any restaurant, that she can go to the bathroom in any women’s restroom. She hates swimming more than anything, because she’s seen first-hand what happened to black people who swam in the pool.

Leo wakes up every morning and has to remind himself to smile. He cracks jokes because he can. But also because he thinks that he can’t be too much of a monster if he can make people laugh. He can never get comfortable staying in one place for too long - he’s constantly on edge, waiting to be sent to the next home. He dreams of fiery garages and his friends turning on him, calling him 'el diablo’ before they try and kill him.

And this is before you factor in the PTSD of surviving multiple battles, the worries and fears that go hand-in-hand with being a demigod.

Leaked Ep. 3 Cut Content

For the past couple months, leaks about episode 3′s development have been coming from two different people who knew beta testers that got to play early drafts of the game.

They cut sooooo much stuff. And I’m 99% sure the leaks were real and not a troll because they got so many details right and knew things like what days information was going to be announced and what songs would play in what parts. A lot of the stuff they said would happen, did happen. According to them, Deck Nine cut the best parts of the episode:

  1. There was a scene with Steph where Chloe would talk about Rachel
  2. Chloe would tell Steph she was realizing that she was a lesbian (and supposedly she was going to be very explicit in her language here. no “uh idk i think i might like girls no labels tho”)
  3. Chloe and Steph were going to hug
  4. There were multiple kisses
  5. There was an implied sex scene
  6. The bedroom scene was longer and you could talk to Rachel about running away.
  7. There may have been a morning scene where you could change into Rachel’s clothes at her house.
  8. Rachel initially wasn’t supposed to get hurt because Sera would save her
  9. Sera and Rachel would actually speak
  10. Sera was confirmed supernatural. She apparently had something to do with the crows and Chloe’s dreams.
  11. There was a choice where Sera wanted Rachel to come back to California with her and Chloe could be for it or ask Rachel to stay in Arcadia (shit happened afterward and Rachel would always ended up staying though)
  12. Sera knew about Chloe and Rachel’s relationship
  13. Rachel was going to kick Eliot’s ass when he got creepy on Chloe
  14. Rachel was going to be there when Chloe got knocked out by Damon
  15. It was going to be Rachel’s idea for Chloe to dye her hair
  16. Rachel was going to be with Chloe when she dyed her hair
  17. Rachel was going to meet Joyce and David and defend Chloe against David (this may have been dependent on if you’ve pissed off David)
  18. Max was originally in the play dream sequence
  19. Max was going to be mentioned in the epilogue
  20. Drew, Mikey, and Steph had more plot around their involvement with Damon
  21. Supposedly even in the “just friends” path Chloe said something that implied she had romantic feelings for Rachel in the ending.
  22. There was supposed to be a lot of really cute dialogue in the epilogue scenes. (You can honestly tell this is true because they went through the trouble of animating the characters talking and it looks like the dialogue just never got put in)
  23. There was a kiss at the end (depending on intimacy)
  24. There were 6 variations on the endings (3 for each, I believe, and I believe this had to do with your intimacy counter with Rachel.)
  25. All endings were meant to be happy. No mention of the dark room being shown at the end.

The information came from beta testers which means that Deck Nine had all of this content. They wrote it and they voiced it and they animated it. It’s not like they cut it because it was Too Much to do. They literally…. did it… and then just… threw it away???? At least that’s my understanding. I’m SO baffled right now tbh.

Even if the beta testers were somehow lying and coincidentally managed to get insanely weird details correct, their fake episode 3 was better than the real one, and I’m pretending this is the version we actually got.

A few thoughts after my 12th viewing of The Last Jedi…

1. In the elevator scene, they show Rey on the side that’s lit, but Ben is split between light and dark. Even as the camera pans in close to him, there is still a sliver of light on him.

2. You can actually see a tear track down his face when he’s proposing. He was sweaty, but there was a distinguished tear that slid down his face as well. (No, my heart is not recovered yet).

3. People say Ben has not smiled, which is 100% wrong. He had two small smiles (look, I just stared at his face for like 2.5 hours, like literally that’s what I came for). First was when she asked him if he could put on a something, he had a small smirky smile that happened so quickly. The second time is immediately after he kills Snoke and she stands up with the saber. It happens just as he’s igniting his saber to fight along side her.

4. Continuing on my ‘stare at Ben Solo’ topic…when Rey rejects him and reaches out for the saber instead of his hand, the look of betrayal and devastation on his face literally breaks my heart. It happens so quickly, because the focus returns to their hands fighting over the saber.

5. I’m 99.99998% sure that Rose and Finn stole Snoke’s escape pod. Meanwhile Hux thought it was Rey. Which leads me to…

6. Ben thinks Rey is in the Resistance cave. He doesn’t realize she is in the Falcon, IMO that’s why he orders the ship to be blasted from the sky. He just thinks it’s Finn and/or Chewie flying it. It also makes his line about pushing through because the last of the Resistance is in the cave. He’s wanting to get to his REYsistance and convince her to join him. Like I’m about 85% convinced that is why he is so desperate to get to the surface and get into the Resistance base. Hux wants to do it because he is like a rabid dog wanting to end the Resistance. For Ben, he wants to get to Rey. His “no prisoners” would exclude her.

7. When Ben says he killed Han Solo, there are tears in his eyes. You can see them form as he tries to say that he’s given everything to the dark side.

8. The more I look at Snoke, the more I’m convinced someone set his body on fire, unfortunately he didn’t die. But it could help in trying to figure out who he was before he became the Supreme Leader.

9. They really missed their opportunity calling the foxes “Pupsicles”

10. When Rey enters the cave, you hear that same humming that connects her and Ben, which was a clue that she wasn’t doing a voiceover, that she was speaking to him. I’m also convinced that she saw Ben in the mirror/glass or an outline that made her think of him, which is why she went to him over Luke or Chewie about what she saw.

11. When Luke bursts in on them, literally, keep an eye on Ben instead of Rey or Luke. His hand doesn’t move away and there is a brief look of panic and fear on his face before he disappears and the connection breaks. Now I have headcanon that he spent the time between her coming to him and that scene terrified that Luke is going to hurt or kill Rey. And possibly worried that she could be dead and he just couldn’t feel it.

12. The hand Ben had that is covered in water is the opposite of Rey’s. If you don’t believe he was wiping away her wetness from his mouth, you might also think that his hand was wet from holding hers. If you align their images over top of each other, they are standing right next to each other.

13. People have mentioned Ben remembering her face from the forest calling him a monster. When you watch every scene between them, her gaze moves around and looks away, but his gaze is fixed on her. You can quite literally watch as he memorizes her face every time they are together. (As if each time he’s afraid it may be the last, so he’s trying to remember in case he never sees her again. Excuse me as I go sob now).

That’s all I can think of at the moment. I know there is more that I wanted to add, but they’ve escaped me.

Keith Kogan: A Portrayal of Homosexuality Done Right

I always tell people that Voltron is a lot more clever than it gets credit for. It can spin a cliche/trope on it’s head beautifully, and while all the characters are easily digestible archetypes (i.e: the nerd, the loner), the creators add layers to them that not only make them feel like real people, but also makes social commentary on those very archetypes.

In no better way do they do this than with the character of Keith.

Before I get into how and why Keith deviates from you’re typical gay male protagonist, I want to establish as a fact that Keith is homosexual.

If you don’t see - what I consider to be - blatant evidence that Keith’s gay, well, I can’t say I blame you. Most people have ingrained heteronormative lenses, meaning they’ll miss the subtext of homosexual characters. Us in the LGBT community are much more attuned to seeing these because, well, for one, we’re queer, and two, because up until around the 1960s, the portrayal of gay characters in the media was illegal and could only be shown subtextually.

So it makes sense that people overlook the very nuanced portrayal of Keith’s sexuality, but if you’re willing to take off those lenses, it’s certainly there.

The first standout appearance of this is in season 1 episode 6: Taking Flight. Or as I like to call it, the day the shows name officially changed to Gaytron: Legendary Homosexuals

I think one of the disconnects for some viewers is that they don’t completely grasp the saying, “Show don’t tell,” the mantra of pretty much every writer. Not always, but typically, showing is better than telling. Or more accurately, telling needs to be used at the correct times and for the right reasons.

So how do they show us that Keith’s gay in this episode? Through three things, body language, actions, and juxtaposition.

You don’t have to be a body language specialist to understand the clear meaning behind Keith’s posture. Leaning, looking someone up and down, and a small, lingering smile/smirk are all subconscious signs of attraction. They’re also common ways of depicting male attraction in the media.

Speaking of depicting male attraction, lets look at how Lance’s flirts in the same episode.

Leaning. Check. Lingering smile. Check. Engaged eye contact. Check. The biggest difference is how blatant they are in their intentions, but that comes down to pure character difference. Keith is self assured and more genuinely confident. He also has a lot of walls up and isn’t so open. While Lance puts on a show/over compensates so that he might appear cool. You can also see this in their respective ‘I’m-checking-you-out’ postures. Lance’s body is open, he’s engaged and his eyes are on Nyma’s eyes. While Keith’s posture is interested, but more in an appreciative way. His body is closed off, and instead of looking Rolo in the eyes, he looks at his - um - physique. This is really fitting for Keith’s character, who again, has walls, and who also puts this mission first, and most likely has no intention of letting this attraction lead to anything other than having a nice piece of eye candy around for a couple of hours.

This is textbook juxtaposition. So moving along now.

I don’t want this to be a shippy post, so I won’t add all the times I think Keith shows attraction towards Lance, but I do want to mention this scene.

The use of the rainbow(the most recognizable symbol in the gay community) over lapping the bi flag colors is relevant for the same reason why the use of purple to symbolize the Galra is relevant. Purple represents royalty, imperialism, but also gloom and danger. The use of these colors and symbols are conscious choices.

While the above scene shows that Keith is attracted to men, this scene shows that Keith is also not attracted to woman.

What I love about this scene is that it’s such a cliche, and like I said up above, Voltron is good at turning those on their head. Here they utilize the tiered and true trope of accidentally falling into each others arms. If this was a hetero-centric Romcom than this moment would’ve been obviously meant to establish attraction, but instead, it does the opposite. Rather Keith personally likes Allura or not, she’s a knock out. So, if he’s attracted to women at all, and isn’t use to having that contact- which hes not - he should be at least somewhat shocked/flustered. If it had been an attractive guy that fell into Keith’s arms, I have no doubt that his reactions would be something beyond that blank stare. Considering he literally gasps every time Lance touches him

The last piece of “evidence” I want to show isn’t as blatant and may just be my perspective, but it’s worth mentioning.

The themes of Keith’s Galra arc are very reminiscent to coming out. He’s discovering parts of himself. He’s internalizing and hiding away said parts. He’s scared of what the people he cares about will think of him when they find out. If this is intentional, it’s brilliant, because while Voltron is set in a futurist world where sexuality is supposedly not an Issue, it still is for the youth of today. Meaning by having these similar themes, Keith becomes more relatable to LGBT people.

This is the part where, if you still don’t think Keith’s gay, I’ll have to calmly yet firmly ask you to get off my fucking lawn. For the rest of you, onward to victory!!!

LGBT individuals have a history of being badly represented in the media, especially now that gay characters have become a marketing strategy for a more progressive consumer base. Their whole character is often reduced to stereotypes or used as a giant walking gay pride flag that reads: look at us, we’re hip and with the times. Meaning, the majority of these characters plots and personalities are based solely on their sexuality. Which is a problem, because not only does it not help to normalize homosexuality, but it’s just not relatable to LGBT people.

I’ll give you an example. My mom’s a lesbian. She married to a woman and has two daughters, one who is trans and one who is bi. But despite how “gay"her life may seem, she very rarely describes herself as that way. She’s not active in LGBT issues. She doesn’t involve herself in the community. Shes not lesbian first and everything else afterward, and she is certainly not alone in that experience. Don’t get me wrong, LGBT individuals are more aware of their sexuality than cishet people, but it’s typically only because others point it out and remind us that its not "normal.” Still, for a lot of LGBT people, our sexuality is just one part of our personal narrative, not the whole damn book.

Another problem with LGBT representations is that their often just built off of stereotypes. Gay men are feminized and their sexuality is typically made the butt of a joke. They are shown as being promiscuous and having commitment issues. These are the standards.

But Keith abolishes all of those, and in such a seamless way too.

While Keith’s character is in no way excessively macho, he’s certainly not feminine either. He doesn’t mind getting sweaty. He’s temperamental and has anger issue. He lived a pretty low maintenance life in a desert shack, sleeps in his jeans like a heathen, and probably uses a dagger to peel oranges. Keith is a masculine character. He’s confident and self assured, but not vain. He’s emotional, but in a very private way. Whereas many other portrayal of gay men depict them as almost theatrically sensitive, confident, but only in their sexual prowess, and self absorbed, but only when it come to their looks and not when it comes to their skills.

This is already an impressive deviation, but what really makes Keith’s portrayal stand out is the way his sexuality is but a mere footnote in what makes his character his character, and how that fits into his personality and story arc so well.

The first thing you have to realize about Keith is that, while he certainly wants to connect with people, it’s not his number one priority. He has barriers. He fears rejection, and despite wanting to feel as if he belongs, its not hard to see how Keith has been conditioned to assume he’ll inevitability be left behind, and therefore places personal relationships low on his list of priorities. Meaning, yes, he was checking out Rolo, and yes, I believe that he’s very very fond of Lance, but I can’t imagine that Keith really sees these relationships becoming something substantial or romantic, and thus doesn’t put too much effort into perusing them. You can really tell what’s important to a character by what they focus their time on. Take Lance for instance, he’s a character who blatantly cares about friendships and has no problem openly flirting. That’s not to say Lance doesn’t care about the war, just like Keith’s reluctance to pursue meaningful bonds doesn’t mean he doesn’t want them. It just means that relationships and love obviously mean a lot to Lance.

So what does Keith focus on? Well, he shows the most focus on relationships in season one, when the connections he had with his makeshift family was the post pressing thing going on. (You cant really form Voltron if you don’t connect with the other members) But after season one, with all the changes Keith goes through, we see a big shift in his priorities. First he finds out about his heritage, then Shiro disappears and he is thrust into leadership, and then most recently, he joins the Blade.

By framing Keith’s character like this, it allows the creators to make his sexuality natural and relatable in a very interesting way. Because as LGBT people know, our sexuality isn’t the most important part of our lives. Just like Keith, we have more to focus on.

That’s not to say that his sexuality will never be shown explicitly. Like I said, I don’t want to get too shippy, but I truly believe that Laith is endgame. So if and when that happens, his sexuality will naturally come into play. Sadly, their will be a lot of people who call it forced because they missed the subtext and are use to seeing gay characters depicted more as spectacles than real people.

Voltron has really done something special here. They’ve create a universe where sexuality isn’t an issue, and they make it believable by never bringing it up outside of naturally occurring, unforced, appropriate context. Even better, because the Voltron universe is so vastly different than our own, it would’ve been easy to make LGBT characters that we couldn’t relate to, but they don’t. They manage this so well that I honestly can’t phantom Keith’s sexuality being anything but homosexual despite the fact it’s never been explicitly shown.

But most importantly, they’re creating a higher standard for LGBT representation. They are normalizing it on a show aimed towards children who are heavily influenced by the media they consume.

That, my friends, is worth applauding.

LET’S BE SAD aka Vex is missing her other half and it shows:

  • Vex gets black out drunk in the tavern and at first everyone’s just having a good time but suddenly she’s falling asleep on the table and that’s the point where Vax would look after her. Percy quietly helps her up to their room and tucks her into bed and if she calls him Vax he doesn’t mention it the next morning. 
  • She jumps into a dangerous situation and doesn’t bother to check her six because of course her brother always has her back and Keyleth is the one that jumps in to cover her.
  • At some point in a mission she offers: “we can stealth ahead” only to realize her partner in crime is not there and she pauses for a heavy charged second before Scanlan interferes “yeah, I’ll go invisible, let’s go!”
  • They don’t hear Vex laugh for a long time after Vax leaves. Grog is the first one that notices. He takes to calling her “stubby” and messing up her hair and giving her wet willies and even begins a prank war with her.
  • Her hair is a mess because she can’t braid it worth shit and okay in Whitestone her maidens will do it but on the road it just becomes a walking disaster until Pike offers to fix it in the mornings, carefully waving two blue feathers and a black one into it.
  • And even then there are inside jokes she starts telling only for her voice to trail off and die because he’s not there to share them. There are days when her heart is heavy and no one can tell. There are amused, amazed and disgusted looks where she expects to find an identical expression sharing her emotions, only to be met by emptiness.
  • One day she dies in battle and in the darkness her brother comes to her and Vax is furious that she’s dead but she’s just overwhelmed with happiness because for the first time in months she feels whole, no longer a broken half. Vax refuses to take her to the other side because “just give them a moment and they will bring you back” and he says it firmly and with conviction and Vex complains because what if she doesn’t want to go back? to be a broken half again? who could bring her back in the ritual if the one who is her heart is here with her right now? And he just strokes her cheek gently and tells her that even if she lost a half, she gained five more and that she’ll always be whole because he’s always with her too. 
  • Vex wakes up to five tearful and relieved faces that hug the everliving shit out of her and scold her for getting herself this hurt and just fill her heart with love and she realizes she can miss her brother and be whole too
    • I made myself cry writing this so I hope you’re all happy

One of my favorite scenes in TLJ is right after Luke has interrupted the smut hut and Rey goes all swingy stabby at him in defense of Ben Solo. Because it’s played really well, and it has such a great little sub-meaning to it.

Our girl starts strong, smacking the fuck out of Luke like WHY DID YOU TRY TO KILL MY SKYPE BOYFRIEND, THIS IS YOUR FAULT. YOU FUCKED UP NOT HIM. and you really get the vibe that Rey has got it super bad for Ben, like she is defending him, fighting this old Jedi hero for Ben’s honor. You’re like wow, Rey is super in love with Ben, they’re gonna go make out.

But then you hear the rest of it. If I go to him, he’ll turn. If Ben Solo returns, he could turn the tide for the resistance. She offers the saber to Luke first (even though I don’t believe she ever expected him to take it). She says Ben is “our” (aka the resistance’s) last hope. She cares about him, yeah, but whatever vision she had that made her believe that he would turn…. she immediately turns it into how it would benefit the galaxy at large, not the connection between them. She thinks of how Ben turning would save the resistance, not save him.

And it reminds me of those high school crushes people get. Where you have a great connection and you’re attracted to each other and you’re slamming doors and screaming at your parents because they “JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND TRUE LOVE.” And then when you really get down to it, you find you’ve idealized this person in your head. You want them to bring you flowers, but they’re not the type to do that. They want you to wear different makeup, but you’re happy the way you are. And even though you feel this intense connection at that moment, you realize how shallow it really is. You refuse to make changes for the other. You refuse to compromise. You want to change them and stay exactly the same. And you break up because no one wants to budge.

With Rian’s statements about how Kylo Ren is meant to be representative of adolescence… I think it’s apparent that the entire trilogy is about growing up.

The Force Awakens was about infancy, about learning skills, about taking your first steps. (Obi-Wan even says this to Rey in the forceback.) It’s about being a child, and growing from there. It’s why Reylo had hints, but nothing terribly explicit. Villainous crush? More like schoolyard crush.

The Last Jedi is about adolescence, with its themes of failure and rebellion from the parental figures (Luke and Snoke) and the insane sexual imagery. It’s about being a teenager and trying to find your own path. It’s why Rey and Ben’s love for each other ended so disastrously. They’re teenagers who only understand hormones and connection and having things in common. They don’t get what it really means to love someone, to be in a relationship. They don’t understand that loving someone means loving flaws as well.

Episode IX, just by virtue of the progression, is going to be about Adulthood, about coming into your own, about maturity. The arcs and growing up that the characters have been building up to? It’s going to come to fruition in this one. And once Rey reads those jedi texts, and learns about the prime jedi, and the how balance is really meant to work - she’ll understand compromise. And in that way, she’ll understand what it truly means to love, and Ben will learn that too. Instead of trying to pull the other to their side, they’ll learn to meet in the middle.

Reylo is endgame, kids. The themes are right there for us to read. Episode IX is gonna be crazy.

Incubus Boyfriend

A commission for @watch-your-grammer who wanted an incubus with an asexual MC. I hope you guys enjoy because I LOVE this story.

   Virgins are hard to find but they certainly aren’t rare, let me just start off by saying that. I’ve seen my fair share of movies and shit and I see people going on and on saying “we need a virgin sacrifice but they’re so hard to find.” Obviously, they aren’t looking hard enough. Virgins don’t look like anything, they don’t really smell like anything either. I don’t like them because they taste better or some shit. I like virgins best because I enjoy the challenge. I love to see the looks in their eyes when they realize who and what I am. I like to see them waver between fear and indecision. Their indecision turning to fantasy and the fantasy waver to reality. Seeing their internal struggle and their desire mix is what I love the most.

   Why do people hunt in these modern times anyways? Is it because they have to or because they enjoy it? Well, for me, the hunt is my favorite part. It flavors the meal and seasons life, what is better than a thrill?

Keep reading

One Winter Morning (Kylo Ren X Reader)

Song - Stone by Jaymes Young

Kylo was slowly waking up to consciousness, yet the cold winter outside tempted him to stay wrapped below the blankets for just a little more.

He realized that he was facing the outer side of the bed, lying on its very edge.

An annoyed smirk crossed his face when he thought how could a person who was literally sizes smaller than him, both in length and girth push him around and take over the whole bed.

Thinking about her, he noticed that her legs weren’t thrown over his back.

That’s weird.

He quickly turned around to find an empty space beside him, no Y/N.

“Y/N.” He instantly got up from the bed and hurriedly slid a warm jumper over his bare muscular body.

There was no answer.

Kylo Ren wasn’t one of those men who’d panic easily. He’d always be calm and composed in the face of crisis until something really extreme happened, and this was exactly that moment.

He ran through the narrow hall and into the nearest room which happened to be the bathroom, followed by a guest room and another, but she never answered. With quick anxious steps, he sprinted down the staircase.

“Y/N! Y/N.”

His worst dreams had finally come true. Losing everything he ever loved, always. He started pacing back and forth beside the kitchen counter. Anxiously running his fingers through his hair, his mind started racing.

Had someone kidnapped her? Had she been taken hostage in order to get to him? She must have gone out for a walk, that’s it! I’m just panicking for no reason.

Kylo rubbed the back of his neck nervously and let out a weak chuckle, trying to calm himself down.

Has she run away? Has she left me? Did she find someone else?

He suddenly slammed the dinning table with his furious fist. It felt like he was getting crazier and crazier by every second.

At that very moment, he suddenly heard someone tripping though the front door.

“Kylo! Kylo!” A frightened voice cried from the other room.

In one swift breath Kylo almost leapt towards the drawing hall. However as soon as he reached, his legs abruptly halted and his brows arched in extreme confusion infused with anger.

Panting through the main door was Y/N. Only clad in a camisole and sweatpants, covered by a thin long cardigan, Y/N was holding something in her arms. She immediately looked up with wide open eyes and cried, “Look what I found outside our front porch”-

Kylo turned pale. Had she seen his booby traps and laser gate? He nervously held his breath to start explaining.

-“a baby kitten!”

But then he let go of it with equal an magnitude of relief.

She ran towards him and showed him the furry animal all stiff and cold. Looking up at him with glassy eyes, Y/N weepily said, “He’s too cold, he won’t move.”

Kylo’s heart melted at the sight, his anger washed away by her watery eyes. She looked so weak and fragile that it formed a lump in his chest. He wanted to protect her at all cost, keep her away from all harm even if it took running through the whole universe. He planted a gentle kiss on her forehead and then pulled her towards the fireplace making her sit in front of it. Quickly starting a big fire, Kylo pulled a blanket from the couch and spread it over Y/N’s body. He then sat behind her with his hands slid around her waist.

Kylo had never owned a pet in his childhood, if he ever had one. For him animals and other creatures didn’t matter much. They never crossed his mind. As such he didn’t understand Y/N’s tears for a meer lower being. But he didn’t want to upset her anymore so he gently rocked her side ways, trying to calm her down.

“Do you think he’ll live?” She whimpered.

“Why don’t you try to rub his stomach?”

Y/N carefully placed a hand on the kitten’s stomach and began rubbing it softly.

They spent the whole morning sitting beside the fire. Y/N lovingly massaged the animal while resting her body on Kylo’s broad chest.

It was almost afternoon when Kylo woke up to a sleeping Y/N in front of him. Her head lay resting on his chest while her left hand was still on the kitten’s tummy.

As Kylo looked down at the animal, to his surprise he noticed a pair of sparkling dilated eyes staring right back at him. It kept looking at him for a full minute and then slowly turned its head away to lick it’s short paws.

“Y/N, Y/N…” Kylo whispered in pure awe mixed with a strange sense of fear.

Y/N moaned and buried her head even deeper.

Kylo softly shook his chest to wake his girlfriend up.

She finally opened her eyes to see the cutest being in the universe and gasped.

“Oh my god! Kylo look! Its alive!”

The kitten adorably jumped off Y/N’s arms and began rolling on the carpeted floor.

“Awww isn’t she the cutest?”

Kylo snuggled his head on the crook of Y/N’s neck, angled to look at her big bright smile.

A pleasant feeling settled inside his core. He had never felt so much at home until now. It felt so safe to finally have somebody understand you with deep layers of love. It felt secure. She was here and he was safe.


When people ask the general question:

“Why do you like girls?”

I just start thinking of the ideal girl in my mind and explain it that way.

“Girls are so beautiful.”

“Let’s start at their heads. Their hair can be anywhere from their shoulders to their lower back. Nonexistent to their hips. Running your fingers through as they hum quietly and continue doing whatever they’re doing is a comforting feeling.”

“Move down to their face. Blue, Green, Hazel, Brown, Gray. Each color has a possibility of finding its way into each iris and complimenting their features even more. Their cheeks could be a clean pallets or dusted lightly with freckles, better known as the marks of each major event that will happen in their life. Their lips. There are endless possibilities for what they could be like. The star of the show. Soft, thin, wide, pink, anything. Uniqueness is astounding in a female’s face.”

“The torso. If you start with the back you’ll find the curve of her spine. The shape of her hips. Each shape is just another piece to building a work of art which deserves a spot in the museum of ‘Life, and its most precious creations’.”

I pause. I think of which path to take for the next sentence.

“The curve in a girl’s back determines how much confidence they have. The only thing more beautiful than a girl herself is seeing her spine and her posture straighten up over time as she learns to love herself and realizes that she has people who look for a significant other just like her.”

“If you look at the front of her torso you see her chest and stomach, both areas that she may or may not be confident in. A, B, C, and D. What are they? Letters. What do letters do? They assist us in creating what helps us find the deeper meaning of things in this world. Each size has a purpose. If it weren’t there for a reason it wouldn’t be there at all.”

“Legs and arms aren’t somehing that most people think you should find attractive. I find them attractive because they’re part of a female. Each girl has something about her legs, arms, any part of her body that makes it special to her. She does something to that body part to make her feel her best when she walks outside, or when she just wants to feel beautiful for nobody but herself.”

“Boys have things that make them special too.”

“I understand and respect that. I can’t ever see myself appreciating and loving any male the way that I can see myself loving a female. Maybe, it just takes time. Maybe I’ll find a boy that I can’t get enough of someday. But until now, I’ll allow myself to fall head over heels for any girl which takes my heart in her hands and drags me along with her. (Gently, that is.)

being the middle wheeler child [headcanons]

Originally posted by stilinskikissme

Request: @xbarrjallenx said “can I please request a ‘being mike and nancy’s sister…’ head canon? thank you!“

Pairing: Mike Wheeler x Reader (platonic, family), Nancy Wheeler x Reader (platonic, family), Steve Harrington x Reader (oops it’s romantic)

this is so long and all over the place and i’m thinking of doing a steve story based on this headcanon. thoughts?

  • being a Wheeler has made your life…interesting.
  • to start, you’re the awkward middle child, three years older than Mike and a year younger than Nancy.
  • even though you’re closer in age to Nancy, you can’t help but feel closer to Mike.
  • you‘ve always been the one who watches over them during their campaigns, even joining in when you get bored of doing homework
  • (the whole party loves you)
  • ((in fact, Dustin, Lucas, and Will all have secret crushes on you but shh))
  • but of course you’re still pretty close with Nancy
  • I mean
  • who else are you gonna go to for advice?
  • and gossip?
  • she’s your role model.
  • surprisingly, you fit in with the popular crowd at school
  • which means that you catch the attention of King Steve fairly quickly.
  • you can’t help but fall for the big-haired dork
  • I mean, he hangs out with you a lot and he’s actually showing interest in you
  • just when you think he’s about to ask you out…
  • he goes after Nancy.
  • you can’t help but feel heartbroken
  • and Mike notices, so he tries to distract you, using D&D in order to keep your attention focused away from Steve & Nancy
  • when Will goes missing, things get worse
  • you thought Steve asking Nancy out hurt?
  • imagine losing someone who you’ve known all your life.
  • you go to the search party, tears in your eyes as you search for little Byers
  • when you don’t find anything, you sneak out with the boys
  • you’re just as surprised as they are when you find Eleven
  • you are the one who she trusts the most
  • you give her your old clothes and help the boys set up a small fort in your basement
  • this whole thing has definitely kept your mind off Steve
  • too bad Nancy has to ruin it and drag you to his house the next night.
  • the party is lame (in your opinion) but you just don’t want to see Steve and Nancy making out
  • so when Barb cuts herself, you jump at the chance to leave
  • you take Barb’s side in her argument with Nancy, causing Nancy to say some pretty mean stuff to you
  • (like, even Tommy and Carol are shocked)
  • ((so is Steve but he decides to stick with Nancy instead of you))
  • so you stand up straight and hold back your tears, following Barb outside..
  • …where you are both taken by the Demogorgon.

  • you wake up disoriented, not knowing where you are
  • you’re blinded by bright lights, and when your eyes adjust, you can’t help but smile.
  • sitting around you are Lucas, Dustin, Mike, and Will.
  • you shift around, trying to get comfortable
  • this automatically wakes up Mike, which wakes up Dustin, which wakes up Lucas, which wakes up Will
  • the four boys surround you in a hug before Mike sits up straight, grinning widely.
  • in stumbles Nancy, eyes red and swollen and hair all over the place
  • she lets out a sob as she throws herself on you, apologizing profusely as she realizes just how close she had come to losing you
  • you’re super confused for a few minutes before it all comes back to you
  • Eleven, Barb, Will, the place that the kids now call the “Upside Down”
  • your eyes widen as you look at Mike
  • please tell me no one is dead.”
  • Mike looks at Nancy, who looks right back at him
  • they speak in unison
  • El is gone”
  • “Barb is gone”
  • you look down slightly before getting up, making your way to the door before you feel your legs give out 
  • you begin to fall, feeling two sets of arms steady you
  • woah there kid. take it easy.”
  • it’s Jim Hopper, who you haven’t seen this sober in years. 
  • (Y/N) you’re awake!”
  • all of a sudden, you’re being embraced by someone and you can’t help but smile as you recognize the familiar scent of Farrah Fawcett Hairspray.

  • things are finally going back to normal
  • no Demogorgon and no Upside Down to worry about
  • but then Christmas comes along
  • and you wake up sick
  • your mom forces you to stay in bed, and you listen
  • until you end up in the bathroom, throwing up like crazy.
  • when you see the weird slug coming out of you, you calmly stand up, flush the toilet, and sprint all the way to the Byers household
  • you flinch slightly at Joyce’s smiling face, not wanting to ruin her day
  • you ask her permission to talk to Will and she agrees, knowing that you two are the only ones who understand each other.
  • Will admits that he’s experiencing the same things as you but makes you promise not to tell anyone.
  • you reluctantly agree and he smiles before hugging you.
  • I’m scared (Y/N)”
  • you can’t help but feel protective over Will but you can’t find it in you to lie to him and tell him it’ll all be alright.
  • so you settle for the truth
  • me too Will. me too.”
  • you reject Jonathan’s offer to drive you back home, and although Joyce is worried, she knows that you need the time to yourself.
  • you’re stopped on your way home by a honk
  • you look up slowly to see Steve Harrington leaning our the window of his car
  • hey Wheeler. what’s a pretty girl like you doing out here all alone?”
  • you scoff and roll your eyes before walking away, only for him to follow you up the road.
  • c’mon Wheeler. what’d I do?”
  • Steve eventually gets out of the car and catches up to you, grabbing your wrist and bringing you in, eyes widening when you start crying
  • he wraps you in his arms and carries you to his car before driving off
  • wanna talk about it?” he gently asks. you nod.
  • and so you spill everything
  • and by ‘everything’, I mean
  • e v e r y t h i n g
  • the vague things you remember from the Upside Down, admitting that you remember Barb dying. everything.
  • including your crush on him and your heartbreak over his relationship with Nancy
  • yet you keep your promise to Will, and don’t say a word about the slugs
  • Steve stares at you for a moment before grabbing your cheeks and leaning in
  • your eyes widen and just as his lips brush over yours,
  • you open the door and dart out of the car, running all the way home
  • you couldn’t kiss Steve. you couldn’t do that to Nancy.
  • you start to avoid Steve, even though he always tries to talk to you about it
  • you spend even more time with the kids, immersing yourself in Mike’s search for Eleven.

  • soon enough, it has been nearly a year since the events with the Upside Down
  • you find yourself struggling, visions of that place becoming more and more frequent
  • until it all culminates on Halloween
  • you get dragged to Tina’s party by Jonathan 
  • and you’re actually having fun, until Nancy and Steve get into their fight
  • Steve comes up to Jonathan, telling him to take Nancy home before turning to you
  • you stare at each other until Jonathan comes back, Nancy in his arms
  • you turn and walk away with Jonathan, grabbing his car keys in order to open the door for him
  • After placing Nancy in the car, you realize you forgot your purse so you go back, telling Jonathan to go ahead without you
  • you hear a small shriek from the woods behind the house and can’t help but go near it
  • you find some sort of small creature, which runs when it sees you.
  • you follow it all the way to the Henderson’s home before deciding to turn back…
  • only to find yourself in the Upside Down once again
  • you notice a large shadow looming over the town, and your anxiety skyrockets.
  • the thing makes its way towards you and all of a sudden, you’re in Jim Hopper’s arms.
  • you can’t speak. everything that comes out of your mouth are broken stutters
  • so Hopper takes you to a small, rustic cabin
  • where you find
  • “(Y/N)!!”
  • all of a sudden you’re tackled by a curly head of hair
  • Eleven?”
  • Hopper tells you everything that has happened since last year 
  • you’re just really happy that El is okay.
  • soon you have to go back, promising that you won’t tell anyone about El.
  • you eventually get dragged into the whole thing with Dart, and you have to run around looking for him
  • you run into El, and quickly help her get out of the school, narrowly avoiding Mike
  • you burst outside and find yourself back in the Upside Down
  • Will stands there, gaping at the weird shadow monster
  • you quickly run to Will, trying to get the monster away from him
  • you’re successful but know that it has infected Will.
  • ((you are unaware that a part of it has entered you now as well))
  • you try and help Joyce with Will, and eventually help Bob figure out where Hopper is located but you don’t go with them
  • Mike doesn’t want to let you go but you assure him that you’re going straight home
  • you arrive home, where you run into Dustin
  • and eventually Steve
  • the burning of the tunnels hurt both you and Will, although it hurts Will significantly more
  • Dustin and Steve don’t know what to do
  • eventually, y’all go to the junkyard, where you meet up with Max and Lucas.
  • the kids are all busy arguing, leaving you and Steve alone
  • hey (Y/N), I think it’s time we talk about what happened last Christmas.”
  • “no offense Steve, but now is not really the best time for that.”
  • Steve is so done with you ignoring him but before he can do anything about it, you’re all stuffed inside the bus waiting for the demodogs.
  • you’re on the floor with a demodog about to devour you when all of a sudden, they’re called off.
  • the first thing Steve does when he picks you up is dip you into a dramatic kiss, causing all the kids to groan
  • what about Nancy?”
  • “we broke up the night of Tina’s party. turns out she never loved me and I never loved her. we were always focused on other people.”
  • you eventually make your way to Hawkins Labs, meeting up with everyone else.
  • Nancy hugs you super tightly
  • so, Jonathan huh?”
  • “so, Steve huh?”
  • you find Joyce, Hopper, Will, and Mike and quickly drive to the Byers household.
  • (Y/N) I thought you said you were going straight home!”
  • “shut up Michael. something got in the way.”
  • you quickly realize that you must be sedated as well
  • even though you’re not completely possessed, you’re still a risk
  • you manage to calm down Will when he wakes, and smoothly translate his message towards the others: CLOSE GATE.
  • you’re taken to Hopper’s cabin as well, and the virus comes out of you much more easily than it comes out of Will.
  • eventually, Will is freed and you just know that El has closed the gate.

  • a month later, you find yourself fixing Mike’s tie before the Snow Ball
  • you and Nancy are also going, being in charge of snacks and drinks, respectively.
  • you can’t help but chuckle as Dustin walks into the school, hair all puffed up just like Steve
  • you really can’t help but smile as Nancy walks over and asks to dance with him
  • you find yourself swaying softly to the music, leaning against the walls before..
  • can I have this dance?”
  • you look over to see Steve standing there, a goofy smile on his face as he looks at you
  • you gingerly place your hand in his and squeak as he tugs you closer to him
  • you smile fondly as you spot Mike kissing El and turn to Steve when you hear his laugh slightly
  • what?” you ask
  • it’s just, I don’t know why I didn’t ask you out last year.”
  • “well you were in love with Nancy.”
  • “that’s the thing (Y/N). I never was. it was always you that I was in love with. not her.”
  • you find yourself unable to speak as you pull Steve down, pressing your lips against his in a kiss that leaves him completely breathless.
  • you bounce apart when you hear a squeal and look up to see Nancy and Jonathan standing there, the latter holding a camera up.
  • Jonathan smirks before handing you a polaroid. “congrats.”
  • Nancy follows, leaning up towards Steve and whispering in his ear. “if I see her cry you’re dead Harrington. got it?”
  • Steve chuckles and nods before coming face to face with Dustin and Lucas. 
  • if you hurt her, I will break you, you son of a bitch!” Dustin exclaims.
  • if you ever get bored, call me.” Lucas says with a wink, causing Max to snort.
  • Mike and Eleven are the last to speak. 
  • if you ever do anything bad to her Harrington,” Mike starts.
  • yeah yeah. I get it. you’ll hurt me.” Steve interrupts.
  • Mike snorts before speaking.
  • no. i’ll let el come after you.”
  • you can’t help but laugh at Mike’s words, bringing him into a hug that soon draws Nancy in as well.
  • even though the past two years have been terrifying, you’re just glad that you had such amazing siblings with you every step of the way.

Tags: @delicrieux, @broken-pieces, @xbarrjallenx

Au idea I can’t shake?

  • Draco and Harry lived on a street with identical houses (neighborhood rule or some shit… but the school system was the best so people for some reason put up with it)
  • Like so identical that when they started kindergarten and walked back home, they sometimes couldn’t remember which house was who’s
  • So, not having met yet, Harry walks back one day and instead of going to his house, accedentally walks straight into the Malfoy kitchen and only once he sits down and looks up from his newest comic and sees narcissa’s stunned face does he realize he is in the wrong house
  • Narcissa asks if he’s dracos friend and he’s all like who? That one kid with the blonde hair? He seems nice
  • She chuckles but tells him his family might be worried and she needs to check to see where Draco might have gone
  • First, because Harry had been eyeing the freashly made batch of cookies (and his own mom had promised to make him some anyways that morning), she gives him a glass of milk and a cookie
  • She likes this kid, he is polite and animated and she can’t help but think what if he became best friends with her son
  • She takes his hand and walks him over next door, only to be interrupted mid-knock by Lilly opening the door with Draco right behind her
  • They both stare at their boys and then at each other and begin to laugh
  • They become best friends
  • As for Draco and Harry, it’s a little rocky. Neither boy likes that their mom likes the other so much; they should be the favorites
  • But eventually
  • They are forced to hangout so much as the families get to know each other that they will play together if around each other
  • Then one day on the bus to school
  • Harry Sees Draco sitting alone with no friends.
  • He decides to sit beside him, and then decides that he would do everything all over again just to see the look of tentative happiness on the other boys face again
  • They become best friends pretty quickly after that, finally hanging out after school
  • After school, sometimes they get lost on the way to their houses again
  • They still mix it up, but it’s ok because whichever house they choose to wonder into, they are welcomed with hugs and cookies for the both of them
  • Expect for that one time they accidentally walked into a house that looked only sort of identical owned by a man named Filch Norris. It didn’t help that they happened to be discussing at the time the rumors of his wife getting turned into a cat he now kept as a pet
  • Once Lilly got a glass wind chime she hung on the portch so the boys could tell which house was which, but after a wild game of catch the orange, it was broken on purpose and quickly hidden away
  • To this day neither boy will admit to knowing who was at fault, and honestly they both wanted it gone so much they don’t remember who had delt it its final blow (Lilly does, as she had been watching from the window. it had been her own son, probably wanting no excuse for Draco to not follow him wherever he went)
  • Later, in middle school, they have their first real fight
  • Harry had been out with friends and Draco had been tagging along, with Harry as always
  • One of his friends dared Harry to kiss someone in the circle
  • Draco was scared out of his wits because he didn’t want Harry to kiss anyone else but he knew Harry would never back down from a challenge and there was no way that this could end well
  • So he lied and told the whole group that Harry had cooties and the last girl who had kissed Harry gagged so hard she never kissed anyone ever again, and was subsequently so embarrassed and horrified to have done that, shut down and ran away
  • Harry was pissed. He mainly was angry on how Draco had lied to the group and hurt Harry through this, ruining his reputation and acting callous and mean towards him. But he was also pretty bummed because the person he had been considering kissing had been Draco
  • The fight continued for months. They didn’t talk. They didn’t sit together. They didn’t walk home together. They didn’t go to each others houses anymore.
  • Lilly and narcissa were devastated. They hated seeing their boys so sad, and hated seeing them without the other
  • At the end of the year, Harry was having a bad day. He hadn’t slept that night, finishing his essay on changing ocean tides, and he was really missing Draco. His other friends were being little shits at the moment, and he was feeling incredibly lonely. His headphones were on, and his hood was up, and he shuffled his feet into his house without paying attention straight into the kitchen and into a chair, head falling down into his arms.
  • Until he realized that this chair was much too stiff to be his chair. He jerked up, startled, and looked around frantically only to come to face with narcissas beaming smile and dracos shocked face, mouth open, eyes wide, and a cup of tea spilling from his hand onto the floor
  • Harry jumped up with a “sorry, sorry, I’m so sorry” as he scrambled backwards, tripping over his feet and flying out the door to run back to his real house, up the stairs and into his room.
  • He was a disaster
  • The next day, Draco follows him to his house after school, saying nothing
  • Harry lets him
  • Lilly stares frozen in shock as the two of them slump past her with quiet hellos as they go up to Harry’s room
  • Harry doesn’t say anything either. He still hates what Draco did, but he would forgive Draco at the slightest hint of apology if it meant he got his friend back again.
  • They sit next to eachother on Harry’s bed, trainers toed off at the doorway and backpacks thrown by the desk
  • Draco can barely get out an I’m sorry before Harry is hugging him tightly
  • They would never admit it out loud but both shared more than a few tears in that embrace
  • Once again the two of them are inseparable
  • And Lilly and narcissa plan wedding invitations for when the time comes (because mothers apparently always know)
  • Their first kiss is in high school, after Harry snapped at a girl asking Draco out, under the tree they had tried to burry the broken wind chime
  • Their first I love yours were screamed at eachother in pure joy and fear as they ran away from mr norris’ house, having been caught snogging behind his ash tree in the front yard, almost falling moaning on top of his cat
  • Their vows were exchanged in the backyard of Harry, while the reception was held in draco’s backyard (or had it been the other way around?)
  • They bought a house a little bit aways from their old neighborhood, and with college/university and jobs they didn’t get a chance to come back much
  • One day, after a particularly long time away, they both head back to their parents. They look at their two houses side by side, heads tilted and noses scrunched in puzzlement
  • “Draco, have our houses always been different colors?”
  • “You know what, Harry, I think they might have been.”
  • And they lived happily ever after
Wanted (2)

Steve Harrington x Reader, Billy Hargrove x Reader

Summary: She just wants to be wanted. More specifically, she wants to be wanted by Steve… Until Billy Hargrove weasels his way into her heart.  

Warnings: language, billy’s a jerk, that’s it for noW

Word Count: 1.5k+


Originally posted by strangersthingsdaily

“Y/n, right?” Billy asks her the following morning before school starts. He’s leaning against the lockers next to hers and she’s grabbing her biology textbook. She glances at him questionably and holds the textbook to her chest. 

“Yeah, who’s askin’?” she bites back, shutting her locker.

Keep reading

Some sci-fi podcast recommendations

As an aspiring scientist and just general nerdy person, I love the sci-fi genre dearly. But tbqh, I find myself loving the genre itself and its concepts rather than the actual stories and media. I find that a good deal of sci-fi stories are written exclusively for, about, and from the perspectives of Cis Het White Men™, which I as a queer Filipino cannot relate to at all. I find it Bothersome that so many stories set in the future erase people like me. And I think that so many of these stories are so emotionally dull and lifeless as they tend to focus on the world and concepts at the detriment of fleshing out characters.

However, I think that mostly applies to mainstream sci-fi, because a lot of sci-fi podcasts are really diverse and inclusive. And I find that podcasts are often a written with a lot more character and emotional depth. I saw someone describe podcasts as being like fanfic cuz of how they are mostly character driven instead of plot driven. 

Anyways, here’s my list of sci-fi podcast recommendations with descriptions and my personal thoughts. In no particular order, but I put the smaller ones first cuz i think they deserve more love.The ones with * are the ones with good queer rep (at the time of writing).

  • Tides Podcast: It follows biologist Dr. Winifred Eurus, a member of the first manned expedition to Fons, an Earth-like moon wracked by extreme tidal waves due to its orbit around a nearby gas giant. When surveying ocean life her submarine is destroyed, leaving her alone to walk to higher ground before the wave comes back. Along the way, she makes notes about what she finds in the intertidal zone, and gradually realizes that some of the life there is more than what it seems.
    There’s only one episode out at the time of writing and I’m already deeply in love with this show. The main character is a huge lovable nerd. And in the space of one episode they’ve managed to create a creative, immersive and beautifully detailed alien world. If you’re really into biology like me, I think you’ll love this show.
  • Girl in Space: Abandoned on a dying ship in the farthest reaches of known space, a young scientist fights for survival (and patience with the on-board A.I.). Who is she? No one knows. But a lot of dangerous entities really want to find out.  
    This show hooked me from the get-go cuz its atmosphere and setting are grippingly ominous and mysterious. It had me begging for more. The creepy vibes are balanced really well with the titular girl in space because she’s really likable and her ramblings can be really insightful and enlightening, but also really hilarious and relatable. 
  • Empty: The crew of an intergalactic colonization vessel wake up from cryosleep with no memories, finding themselves the only sentient life in the universe.
    At the time of writing, there’s only one full episode out so far (tho there are short mini episodes) and I’m already really excited about this show. Like Girl in Space, it has a masterfully done ominous atmosphere and world building that leaves you begging for more. But it has a wholly different tone because it feels grittier and serious. 
  • The Earth Collective: Joseph Crane attempts to record and document the life and culture of the titular Earth Collective: the dying remnants of humanity living on rolling cities on the planet of Oasus, fleeing the malevolent entity known as the Dark
    This is one of my fave sci-fi podcasts ever. I’ve already gone on so much in this list about atmosphere and world building, but podcasts are just really good at that, and this one especially. The world building in this one is immersive and it feels so real, especially since I love learning about history and culture. Think of this show as Titan A.E but Soft™.  It starts slow but it builds up the conflict and tension which fit really well with the atmosphere.
  • The Falcon Banner*: Two hundred years after the fall of the Terran Empire, humans find themselves the subject race of the alien Amsus Hegemony. Darien Taine, a police inspector for the Terran police kills an Amsus inquisitor in self-defense, a crime punishable by death. He escapes Earth, and finds himself embroiled in a resistance movement and a centuries old plot that shattered the empire. An audio theater dramatization of the novel by Christopher Patrick Lydon.
    This show is what would happen if someone looked at the original Star Wars trilogy and said, “Hmmm that was good but could be gayer.” This is a high production, high action, epic sci-fi space opera. I This show captured my heart with a fascinating universe, well written characters, and a bombastic soundtrack and atmosphere. This is perhaps the most epic Gays in Space™ podcast I’ve listened to. But I feel like I should warn y’all, the series just ends with no conclusion, and it’s been a decade since. But the story continues on in a book series (the podcast adapts the first book).
  • The Strange Case of Starship Iris*:  In 2189, Earth narrowly won a war against extraterrestrials. Two years later, in a distant patch of space, a mysterious explosion kills nearly the entire crew of the science vessel Starship Iris. The only survivor is Violet Liu, an intrepid, sarcastic, terrified biologist. But as Violet struggles to readjust to life after the Iris, questions abound. Was that explosion really an accident? If not, just what is going on? And why does every answer seem to get more bizarre and more dangerous? If Violet and her newfound allies want to untangle the truth, they’ll need courage, brilliance, and luck - and honestly, a couple of drinks.
    This show shines in having a really well written and lovable set of diverse characters that play off each other really well. Add on top of that some  fresh world building concepts and ideas that I haven’t seen done anywhere else. All in all they create an engaging and immersive story. 
  • Inkwyrm*:  Inkwyrm Magazine is an intergalactic fashion publication, bringing readers the newest looks from all over the universe. At the head of it all is Annie Inkwyrm, and directly behind her is Mella Sonder, AI caretaker and Annie’s PA. Along for the ride is an overzealous PR director, a perpetually unimpressed physician, and an AI that really needs to learn some ethics. One part sit-com, one part space opera.
    This show is my comfort podcast. It’s hilarious, cheesy in a good way, and gay which is what I need during such stressful times like now. The characters are likable and play off each other well. It’s mostly a comedy, but it does have it’s serious moments which are well done and hit close to home for me.
  • Limetown: Ten years ago, over three hundred men, women and children disappeared from a small town in Tennessee, never to be heard from again. American Public Radio reporter Lia Haddock asks the question once more, “What happened to the people of Limetown?
    This was one of my first podcasts and it set my bar really damn high. The gripping story drags you in with interesting characters, mysteries and concepts. The pacing is really well done and you wouldn’t even notice how many episodes had gone by. This was a really beautifully done mystery and thriller
  • The Message*:The weekly reports and interviews from Nicky Tomalin, covering the decoding of a message from outer space received 70 years ago. Over the course of 8 episodes we get an inside ear on how a top team of cryptologists attempt to decipher, decode, and understand the alien message.
    This was also one of my first ever podcasts. Like Limetown, it has a heart stopping story that will drag you all over place. It set the bar really high too. You’ll be constantly gripped by the ever increasing stakes and tension that conclude on a high note.
  • Life After*: The 10 episode series follows Ross, a low level employee at the FBI, who spends his days conversing online with his wife Charlie – who died eight months ago. But the technology behind this digital resurrection leads Ross down a dangerous path that threatens his job, his own life, and maybe even the world.
    This was done by the same people as The Message and it’s just as emotionally intense and immersive as a thriller. But the subject matter is more relatable and hits closer to home, both in that they’re personal issues that a lot of people have to deal with, and it deals with technology that may soon be a thing in daily life. The show has a lot of interesting ideas regarding technology, morality, and personhood, which makes it hit harder for me. (note, it’s on the same feed as The Message)
  • Eos 10*: The lives two mal-adjusted doctors and their staff on the Alliance space station, EOS 10. Other characters include a hypochondriac deposed prince, an aggressively enthusiastic nurse, and a galactically hated terrorist whom is not what you’d expect.
    This was also one of my first podcasts. It’s also one of my comfort podcasts. I imagine it as what would happen if Star Trek was a sitcom about doctors. Despite being a sitcom, the wacky sounding characters have a lot of surprising emotional depth and deal with serious issues that makes them really lovable and relatable. They play off each other wonderfully, which makes the comedy and the plot in general hit harder. It has a lot of same vibes as Inkwyrm.
  • Ars Paradoxica*: When an experiment in a time much like our own goes horribly awry, Dr. Sally Grissom finds herself stranded in the past and entrenched in the activities of a clandestine branch of the US government. Grissom and her team quickly learn that there’s no safety net when toying with the fundamental logic of the universe.
    This really one of the most intense podcasts I’ve ever had the pleasure of listening to. The characters are all massively compelling disasters that will make you feel so many things. It has so many twists and wonderfully tragic time travel ideas and concepts. I’m not kidding when I say that this is the best show regarding time travel I’ve ever seen. As someone with a love of history and science, I love how hard they play up those elements. Physics ain’t my forte so I’m not sure but this feels like a very hard sci-fi. 
  • Wolf 359: Set on board the U.S.S. Hephaestus space station, the dysfunctional crew deals with daily life-or-death emergencies, while searching for signs of alien life and discovering there might be more to their mission than they thought. Tune into your home away from home… seven and a half light years away from Earth…
    This is one of the most popular ones so I put it last, but no podcast rec list would be complete without Wolf 359. This isn’t just a show, it’s an experience, it’s a life changer. It’s one of the best pieces of art that you’ll ever see.While I do admit it take a bit before it finds its legs, but it gets indescribably good when it does. The characters are all wonderful disasters with a lot of emotional depth and development to them. The story is paced really well, it knows when to get intense and suspenseful. But it also knows when to put in breather episodes and to make the intense parts easier to process with well written comedy. And the plot is unpredictable and plays with a lot of tropes and cliches. But you won’t feel lost because it knows to set the atmosphere and foreshadow. This show is Chekhov’s machine gun.

anonymous asked:

I feel that you are very naive when it comes to LGBTQIA issues and that's incredibly disheartening. My old, jaded queer soul has fought hard for a very long time and it's so. damn. sad to me when people within the community play 'devils advocate' because they still want to condone the opposing side. It goes against your own damn people.

(( OOC: I can understand how you might see it that way, but I need to point out what you said.

“-your own damn people.” 

This is where I must strongly disagree with you, and I’ll explain why.

The more you divide, the more you box people into categories, the more you segregate, the more you close yourself off to the world… the more you’ll hinder your own progress and damage your movement. 

Change requires unity. It requires the support of the majority, or it won’t happen. You cannot fight against a tidal wave coming at you. You need help from the opposing side… and you will never get them to listen or agree with you if all you do is shut them down, ignore their reasonings, and villainize and degrade them for not seeing the world the way you do. 

This does not help the situation. No one responds well to anger unless they already agree with you… but you need the people who don’t agree with you to come to a place of understanding if you want to see change happen.

We need to create an atmosphere of discussion, not contention

We need to be willing to ask and see WHY people feel the way they feel, so we can understand, and address it. We need to realize that people can still be good people, and that sometimes they just need to be informed. We need to be patient, because opinions are not changed overnight, and they certainly won’t change if all we do is tell them that they are bad, when that’s what they’ve grown up knowing, and that’s the world they have been presented.

I have seen more change happen, in my own personal life, from having calm, considerate and in depth conversations with the people around me, then I’ve seen from any aggressive attack. 

I have a very religious family. They don’t approve of my lifestyle… but they are very good people, and are very kind to me. They love me, but the way they were raised has left them ignorant on certain topics, and they’ve had a lifetime of reinforcement that’s lead to them feeling this way. That isn’t something that’s easily overcome. 

I once approached my cousin on the topic online, after she posted an article that made me incredibly upset concerning trans issues. When I responded, it didn’t go over well. I was aggressive in my approach, and it spiraled very quickly. 

I saw her in person at our next family get-together. I sat down with her, and we had a long, LONG conversation about the issue. I listened to her side, and how she felt about the topic, and because she expressed that with me I was able to understand where she was coming from, and see how she had come to that conclusion. I countered some of her points, providing her with my personal insights on the topic (all while keeping my wording very clear and compassionate)… and by the end of the conversation, she was agreeing with most of what I said.  

THAT is how you start to create change. But one conversation isn’t enough. 

I grew up very religious… I was anti-LGBT+ rights, because of my surroundings, what I had been taught by my environment, etc. I didn’t even realize I was bi until I left organized religion because I was so repressed… 

I would still be in that situation if my father, who left the church, had not expressed his beliefs with me. I would never have changed if he had not been respectful, and understanding, and loving while discussing those topics with me. He didn’t degrade me, he didn’t belittle me, he listened, and he responded, and he was empathetic. 

It took me THREE YEARS to deprogram from everything I had been taught about LGBT+ (and life in general)… and even then it took me years more until I could become completely comfortable in my own skin. But it happened… and I have healthy communication to thank for that. 

When both parties feel at ease, or at least feel that they are being respected and that their opinions are being taken into consideration, they will be far more likely to grow and expand in their viewpoints and become openminded. The second you approach it in a degrading, hateful, or elitist way, they will shut down, and no progress will be made. 

That is an entirely different fight, and it won’t be won through hate and aggression, or shutting yourself off to hearing different opinions or view points.

It won’t be won from making “camps” or “groups” or, as you put it, “your own people”… they can be there to support, you can create amazing bonds from going through similar experiences… but don’t limit yourself to only associating with one group of people. This often leads to pack mentality, which can prevent people from really thinking for themselves and analyzing situations thoroughly. More often than not, it leads to people simply agreeing with the group because that is where they feel safe… and we’ve seen the terrible results of that in everything from politics to religion to goddam high school cliques. 

It’s not a healthy mentality.   

We have to start creating an environment of open discussion, where people feel they can express themselves without being torn to shreds… or we’ll fester in our ignorance out of spite or fear. If you tear others down, they will fight against you with everything they have. 

So yes… look at both sides of the argument, see the validity that is usually there on both sides, see the reasoning, and stop thinking that your world view is the only right world view, because in some instances, you might be wrong and have something to learn from the other person.

Keep conversations open, keep yourself open, and put empathy first. )) 

With the reflexes of a deer who sees its hunter, Dean grabbed Charlie’s arm and yanked her behind a shelf of books. Charlie, who’d been looking over the library’s new books, glared at her friend.

“Dean, what-“

“Shush,” Dean hissed and tried to look behind her. “It’s him.”

Charlie frowned at him and lowered the book she was holding.


“The new guy,” Dean whispered. “Who moved in last week.”

Charlie’s frown slowly turned into an understanding, excited surprise.

“Your knight in shining armor?” She turned around as well. “I wanna see him.”

She took a step to look around the shelves. “I don’t see anyone.” She turned back. “Except for Mrs. Baggins.” Dean grabbed a random book from the shelves. He opened it and pretended to read, stepping away from the shelves and looked up casually, scanning the rest of the library. It was empty next to the old lady who always said Dean reminded her of her favorite Van Gogh painting, so Dean hid his face in the book and walked back to Charlie.

“He’s probably gone upstairs.” He muttered and stuffed back into the shelves. “Let’s go.” Charlie willingly followed. Dean had been talking about the guy ever since he’d moved in a week ago, but Charlie still hadn’t seen him. Dean, however, seemed to stumble upon him everywhere. From the moment he’d seen the dark-haired boy, Dean had been convinced they were meant to be— and he had made sure Charlie knew. They walked upstairs casually, Charlie still with her book, and Dean tried to look normal as he looked between the rows of shelves. When he saw a figure, he held Charlie back and hid behind another shelve. “Right there.” He nodded. “I’m sure.”

Charlie pretended to be interested in the books on the shelves but her eyes were glued to the person who was reading a large, thick book. She turned back to Dean a moment later.

“He’s dreamy,” she smiled knowingly at Dean. “I knew you had good taste. He’s cute.”

“He’s an angel,” Dean muttered, his ears warm.

“Go say hi.” Charlie nudged his shoulder, but Dean took a step back.

“What?” He whispered, “No— I can’t do that, we never met.”

“Dean,” Charlie insisted, her voice low as well, “you gotta at least say hello if you want him to be your boyfriend.”

Dean bit his lip. He wanted to talk to Castiel, he’d been dying to talk to him— but he knew he’d make a fool of himself. Charlie looked at him. “You can do it, Dean. Promised. Come on. If it goes wrong, I’ll come save you.” Before Dean could say no, Charlie pushed him away from his hidden position. Castiel was so focused on his book he didn’t hear Dean approach. Dean pretended to be reading covers of some books, while slowly getting closer to the other.

When he stood next to Castiel, Dean finally looked at him.

“Hey,” Dean said, his voice tight. The boy looked up. Dean hadn’t seen him from this close before. He had a rough jawline which made him look older than he was, a sharp nose and extremely blue eyes. Dean’s mind faltered.

“Hello.” The guy spoke, deep and calm. Dean just stared. A moment passed in which they just looked at each other, but then Dean realized it was his time to speak.

“Uhm— you’re Castiel.”

“Eh— yes. I am aware.” The boy smiled vaguely.

Dean’s cheeks were probably dark red by now; his hands were sweaty and his mind seemed to have lost the ability to form proper sentences.

“Of course, I mean… You- you’re new here, right?”

Castiel seemed to decide he wasn’t gonna tease Dean anymore. He lowered his book and held out his hand.

“Yes. Thank you, you already know my name— but it’s nice to meet you.”

Dean took the guy’s hand, which seemed formal to him at first. But the boy’s grip was strong and Dean felt a little reluctant to let it go.

“I’m Dean, it’s really good to meet you, too.”

Castiel’s eyes stayed on Dean’s face for long. It made him uncomfortable, but he couldn’t stop looking at Castiel either. The guy’s hair was so wild and his eyes so bright.

“Have you been able to find anything?” Dean finally managed, nodding at the book in Castiel’s hand. Castiel followed his glance.

“Yes. You have a very broad library here, I enjoy it.” Castiel flipped a few pages. “I particularly enjoy the history section and the science fictions. What about you?”

“Oh, I love science fiction,” Dean said, trying not to sound too eager. “I’m guilty of mostly hanging out in the movie section, though. I do read, just… not often.”

Castiel had listened to Dean as if he was talking about something intriguing, whereas Dean had felt like he’d just been rambling.

“What’s your favorite? Book, I mean.” Castiel put the large book back on the shelf.

“Slaughterhouse-five,” Dean said instantly. “Yours?”

Castiel narrowed his eyes and licked his lips as he thought. Dean shifted.

“The Lord of the Rings.” He decided.

“You’re a classics kinda guy,” Dean smiled and he tried to look confident, but his legs were shaking. “That’s awesome.”

Castiel looked at him in that same way as before, as if he was the most interesting of everything in the library. Then his eyes seemed to fall on something behind Dean.

“Is that your girlfriend?” Castiel nodded.

“My what?” Dean turned and saw Charlie looking away quickly.

“Oh, no, we’re not… She’s just my friend.” He started stuttering again. “She’s dating a girl and I—” Dean hesitated. Castiel’s smile was genuine, his face lifted a bit, and the little lock of hair that curled at the front had swooped down over Castiel’s eye.

“… think you’re cute.” Dean blurted, at the same time as Castiel suggested: “…don’t like her?”

Dean turned red again as Castiel just observed him.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “I— I just… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… y’know, I just…”

“Hey.” Castiel’s lips curved into a smile, a wide one, and Dean realized he hadn’t seen him smile like that before. “It’s alright.” He heaved his bag over his shoulder. “Maybe we should… hang out sometime this week.” Castiel’s smile turned shy almost. “Watch one of your movies, perhaps?”

Dean’s knees could collapse at any moment, but Dean wouldn’t even mind anymore.

“Yeah, of course, that sounds great.”

“Friday?” Castiel suggested, and Dean answered with a grin.


slowly-losing-my-mind  asked:

Hi, I just saw your post about having legitimate complaints about TLJ... I haven't seen it yet, but was wondering what your complaints were (and whether it's worth me spending my money going to see it). I'm not bothered by spoilers.

good evening dear! to make things easy, i’m just gonna make one hugeass post and do a bullet list.

  • no consistency to story-telling
    • you wanna add new force powers? fine! great! but keep them consistent!
      • yoda appears to tell luke that the jedi are garbage & should end ( yoda???? of all people???? instead of someone who would actually think that given personal experience, like, y’know, ANAKIN )
        • also somehow yoda can call down lightning and cause real-world damage to a tree by setting it ablaze? why hasn’t yoda or obi-wan or anakin literally just come down and stop the order by doing something like this if they can literally control nature from the afterlife????
      • someone ( leia )…. with no proper force training…. can somehow defy…. dying in space? and also project themselves through space while barely conscious?
      • rian seems to want to keep this narrative of ‘evERYonE caN HAve ThE foRCe’ but when given the chance to make one of three kids force-sensitive, one kid being a black boy, one a white girl, and one a white boy, in a series where we have leading white female and black male protagonists and a white male villain………. somehow rian decided it was best to give the white boy the force? in a trilogy where the leAD CHARACTER IS A FEMALE AND ONE OF THE LEADING MALES IS A BLACK MAN?????????? GROUNDBREAKING
      • snoke connected rey and kyle via force skyping, but if his whole goal was to just……….. get rey to come to the supremacy after he manipulated her to believe in kyle’s redemption, like….. why do all that shit. why not just….. read her mind. clearly he can influence people and affect people from long distances so what the fuck why would he bother with that weird force bond shit. like if vader can fucking force choke a guy over a video conference, i don’t see why it’s that much more of a stretch to just have snoke read rey’s mind or manipulate her without using kyle
      • luke fucking astral projecting himself onto crait, despite not knowing they were on crait, after shutting himself off from the force like 10 years prior to tlj– somehow he’s able to hold a long-term projection of himself to taunt kyle and buy time for the fleeing resistance? and then, at the end, he just….. gives up and dies? becomes one with the force? ???????
  • lame foreshadowing/repetition
    • so, when kyle and rey’s first skype session goes live, kyle makes a point of asking rey if she was causing this, this almost astral projection skype convo from light years away, only to say ‘no….. the strain would kill you.’ cue the end of the movie, where it’s revealed luke was just projecting himself all along, and…. he dies.
    • there’s also this scene where luke asks rey what the force is, and being inexperienced in it, she makes a comment about it being about making things float. luke says no, everything you said is not-true– its not about making rocks float, ( which is then brought back as a concept at the very end of the movie, when rey has to float rocks to free the resistance from the caves they ran into, again, bad foreshadowing. ) this is then brought back later when astral luke is facing off with kyle, and kyle says something about destroying the resistance and the jedi…. only for luke to, verbatim, say what he said to rey about every word he said being not-true.
  • this almost bashing it into our heads notion of ‘kill the past, it’s only holding you back’ that’s mentioned by kyle, that seems to be the central thread– the past is just that, the past. it’s time to completely ignore it and never look back. it’s time to wipe away the misty-eyed wonders of your hero worship of your childhood… the reality is that people fuck up and your heroes are nothing and in the end we all die, jan. ( what a fun, hopeful message. )
    • but with this message, this idea of all your heroes are dead and don’t even think of people as heroes because that’s just unrealistic and you’ll be disappointed when they fuck up because we’re all human :))) – with that message we’re then meant to leave the theater somehow emboldened because luke took up the mantle of being a legend in the end…. even though there’s no reason he should be considered one when the only people who witness this astral fight technically are kyle and the first order– the resistance didn’t watch because they were trying to escape through the base’s tunnels with the time luke was buying them. so we’re supposed to treat luke as a legend now….. or are we supposed to hate this idea of hero worship? i’m getting mixed signals.
  • literally everything built up in tfa…. rey’s parents/backstory, snoke’s history/why the resistance even knows about him, why kyle became evil, why rey was able to call the lightsaber over him, why luke exiled himself but left a map………… so many questions to be answered! and tfa laid out a beautiful table for johnson to sit down at and serve dinner.
    • only johnson decided to say fuck you, fuck your dinner, fuck everything you thought about this movie because it doesn’t matter
      • rey’s parents? nobodies– drunkards. sold their daughter into literal slavery for drinking money.
      • snoke’s backstory? doesn’t fucking matter if we hyped him up as more dangerous than vader or palpatine– he’s dead now because he apparently couldn’t sense kyle about to kill him. the man can bond two people across light years of distance, but he doesn’t notice the lightsaber that’s slowly being turned towards him? hm.
      • why is rey so strong with the force? because it belongs to everyone and not the elite skywalkers who literally came from slavery so fuck you for that too
      • luke’s exile? because he felt bad about considering killing his nephew when he probed his mind and felt he was completely evil. luke skywalker considered killing his nephew, the son of his twin sister, son of his best friend– let that sink in.
      • kyle’s evil…. but he’s good, right? there’s good in him? or not. for someone who rian says we can all relate with ( sorry but i don’t relate with fascists :/ ) he made it pretty clear that he wanted kyle to be the end all be all villain by the end of 8. so ??????
        • also why is kyle so obsessed with vader? what the fuck? guess what? you don’t get to know. fuck you again.
  • character assassination / regression
    • luke was……… not luke. clearly. mark hamill has said it’s not luke. that’s more than a bit telling.
    • rey’s whole story literally revolved around following luke around ahch-to while learning jack shit only to then follow kyle around trying to say there’s still good in him. ( another fun fact rian……… luke only was willing to forgive vader when he realized that was his dad. why would rey feasibly trust her abuser / han’s murderer / man who put finn into a coma so quickly unless maybe they had a prior connection, particularly familial? )
    • finn was turned into a joke, called a coward, called selfish, tased by rose, slapped by hux……. like finn had literally no character progression at all.
    • poe went from well-decorated commander of the resistance, former officer with the new republic, to hot-headed flyboy who doesn’t take orders and just needs to learn from his white superiors :)))) like……………… do i even need to say it
    • leia was practically non-existent, and when she was, she slapped poe and later shot at him, stunning him. which, she…. y’know………. never did to han.
    • chewie and r2 were literally there as props, don’t even try and tell me otherwise. r2 showed luke leia’s hologram back from anh as a means to like…. spur him into action, but??? luke literally did nothing as well even after that?
    • lack of lando. can i include that? rian said he ‘wanted’ to include lando but he ‘wouldn’t work’ so i think rian just owes me money for having to even try to comprehend his bullshit
    • hux??? y’know, the fascist general with that terrifying speech before he decimated an entire star system? that hux? he’s just comic relief now. :)
      • he even has a ‘your mom’ joke thrown at him which is super funny when you remember he’s a bastard and never knew his birth mom so like #goodwriting
    • kyle is redeemable now!! even though he’s shown no remorse and has already been offered the chance to redeem himself but he took the opportunity to say ‘fuck you’ and kill han so…. ignore all that, ignore the fact that he’s a fascist leader and massacred children and countless others………….. his uncle tried to kill him so he must be in the right :)))
    • phasma…. you liked phasma? strong villain woman? yeah, well, watch the most unsatisfying fight that ends in finn winning purely by luck because she falls down into a firey pit. mmmmmm that sure was satisfying? :/
  • regular star wars rules need not apply?
    • bombs can just be dropped in space because gravity exists in the vacuum of the stars apparently
      • but a body on a blown-open bridge can remain on the bridge instead of getting sucked out into space….?
    • a slow-speed ship chase where one ship is running out of fuel? cinematic gold, apparently
    • for some reason the first order ships chasing the resistance couldn’t have just….. sped up their ships a bit and plowed them over / took them out with tie fighters for no other reason but….. it wouldn’t be convenient that way?

there’s a lot more than this but i’m tired and should have gone to bed hours ago, so i’ll probably just reblog this sometime tomorrow and add more, but here’s this for starters!

anonymous asked:

mhm as a depressed person i'd love to hear someone say that they dont understand me and make me feel like a fucking alien. he's SOOO sensitive for being ignorant right? how can you defend him even now, you really haven't changed from the past.

*warning, long*

you didn’t read the entire fanacct, that was the first half of the first sentence. it took op 2 pages to describe the entire encounter and 5 seconds for the translator to translate one sentence, maybe less for netizens who wanted something to fight about. obviously, more happened than what you and many people are aware of.

btw i don’t want to make this personal! but please don’t be condescending in my inbox when i’ve had severe depression for the past 7 years of my life. i’m a (small albeit active) donor to active mental health research and recognition charities and a very active participant in the fight to understand, fight against, and overcome mental illness so aside from this baekhyun situation, this message is inflammatory to me as a person :/ but i digress bc those two things aren’t related so dw about it too much. i’m here to talk about baekhyun’s “situation,” not my own feelings.

don’t you think op, who was clinically depressed, would have also been offended by his words, had that been all he said? damn if he stopped right there then i agree!! but she shared the fanaccount bc it touched her, comforted her, and made her feel a bit more cheerful in that moment.


netizens who berate him for breathing took like 10 of his words out of context. it was a forum issue that people shut down. imagine if i said “i hate baekhyun, he’s so wonderful and perfect in every single way.” two opposing ideas spliced in two make for very very different situations. imagine if a netizen took the first half, translated it, and made everyone think that i literally hate baekhyun? i’m not sensationalizing this situation at all, this is…exactly what happened,.

the international translator who did this was being ignorant of her mistake, and the NETIZENS she used as “”proof””” were picking apart everything for the sake of being mean (as usual.) also, it’s not her fault alone, but i admit she had quite a big hand in blowing it up. did anyone who was supposedly offended read the entire thing? besides…i wouldn’t coin netizens as the ultimate supervisors of sensitive comments regarding mental health if you look at their track record. i’d look at OP instead.

btw this was a fansign with a very limited amount of time allotted for each person so he said as much as he could while having very little time to sort through his words. but he was sincere and heartfelt.


“i don’t fully understand depression BUT i hope i can be a comfort to you. i HOPE you can find strength.” the misconstrued first half of the sentence is actually a really important clause. why?

if he omitted the first half of the sentence it would seem like he’s evading the real topic. he used it as a disclaimer. doesn’t the internet only listen to ppl who have personal experiences with things anyway?? lmao what changed?? he said, “i may not understand it but i want to listen and i want to understand this better. just because i don’t personally experience it does not mean i can’t try my best to be a source of comfort and happiness for you.” BTW we do this all the time in english to avoid sounding insensitive…think about it for a moment. yeah.

is it not a good thing for someone to not understand the feeling of or have depression? contrary to what the internet thinks, not everyone knows everything about everything. depression is an abstract concept that’s very difficult to describe if you’ve never had it. you and i should know that firsthand. what makes this GOOD is that he handled the convo elegantly. he tried his best to convey his more sincere thoughts and tried hard to be sensitive of her situation. in this world, we’re going to encounter things that we don’t understand and it’s important that we approach it intelligently and carefully, even if we stumble around our words. THAT’S what makes it a good thing. there are too many people who don’t understand and blow it off as a phase, or blow it off as depressed individuals being lazy or weak or whiney. he’s not one of them.

this is one sentence out of many. baekhyun didn’t judge her but responded the best he could to his understanding. its not about what you say, but how you say it. that’s the sign of a responsible person who DOESN’T pretend to know more than they do. that’s humility and sensitivity even if you’re unsure of something.

he was compassionate and attentive, but didn’t treat her like a nut case. he treated her like a person and a friend. he wanted her to have strength. according to op, WHO WAS ACTUALLY THERE to witness his body language and words, said, “we ended the fansign brightly and cheerfully.” op is clearly not offended and in fact, felt brighter!!! so the atmosphere was definitely a positive one. her words, not mine.

she shared it because it was a pleasant memory for her..who the hell are we to say anything otherwise? personal experience should only have to comfort whomever is involved. what’s non negotiable though, WHETHER OR NOT you’re comforted by what he said, is that he DIDN’T SAY “i dont understand why you have depression damn girl bye!” even though that’s what headlines are saying.

again!! regardless of this essay i just typed, what is 100% objective is that he DID NOT say ‘i dont understand why you have depression” and then end the conversation right there?? he used it as a DISCLAIMER. those are the real facts because we can both read. and you can read it in the original tweet lol. AND in the clarity posts op made. you do realize.. she feels really stressed and sad about the situation. that should tell you something right there!

here’s op’s clarification post. i’m not linking her handle (most people aren’t) bc she doesn’t want random people to tweet her or talk to her anymore. 

even op’s apologizing :/ and for what!

i don’t want to make it seem like i’m angry at you because i’m not. it’s not about you or me or even baekhyun, it’s about the fact that we need to look at the full picture before acting!

i hope that you look at this situation and future situations in a more responsible manner. rumors CAN get out of hand; what’s trending is not necessarily the truth. in fact, what’s trending is usually NOT the truth because people like drama and refuse to apologize for starting it. truth gets buried under drama, ALWAYS. baekhyun thinks he did something wrong because he’s under the impression that he shouldnt have said “i dont understand how depression works BUT…..” uh no, that’s usually what you want to say to dispel the idea that you think you know more than you actually do. that’s called being aware of your own situation. that’s a fact. that’s actually a fact. i’m not trying to be funny with the fax™, that’s an ACTUAL fact, like, if you were to ask the internet of depressed people or a therapist for advice, that’s what they would generally advise you say to someone with depression. so..this is an awkward situation now 🚶🏻

and the problem is, he didn’t actually offend anyone who read the entire story, that’s why it was a non issue to exo-l’s who saw the entire fanacct.

he approached the situation as responsibly as he could, provided he was given a couple minutes to speak eloquently about something he has not experienced. you can read every research paper in the world about depression but if you don’t have it.. you just don’t understand. but we don’t NEED OR WANT everyone to understand. we just need people to be compassionate and kind. we want them to be willing to listen. we want them to be positive for us so that we may have a role model to look up to.

all WE can do now…is to be responsible for how WE consume content and look at the full picture before acting.


Summary: Bucky, post hydra, meets someone along the way when on the run. He then comes back for her, when he has set his mind straight, and is no longer a wanted man.

Word Count: 5,932

Warnings: Slight angst.

A/N: Another repost! Hope you enjoy, guys!

Originally posted by caps-bucky

The sun was setting, the sky splashed in vivid reds and oranges before it gave way to purple, and eventually to darkness. There was a calming effect to this sunset and Bucky inhaled deeply, bringing the cup of steaming coffee up to his lips. The liquid warmed him right up. Winter was creeping into the country and with it came the cold that made Bucky shiver, reminding him of a time he had just left behind.

He looked around himself, sharing a few polite smiles to those whose eyes darted his way. But they only regarded him for a split second before their thoughts wandered away once again, stuck in the snags of their own lives. Bucky was safe here, away from the prodding eyes and ears of people he wanted to get away from. Away from those who wanted nothing than to use him.

Although he was always alert, always surveyed his surroundings, Bucky felt an inkling of what he knew was peace. Sleep didn’t evade him as much, more often than not, dangers he thought he had perceived were just false alarms and Bucky spent his days outside for the most part.

Keep reading

~College!au Pen Pal Jimin~PART FOURTEEN: END

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 9] [part 10] [part 11] [part 12] [part 13]

Jimin’s heart was racing as he jogged to the campus’ cafe. Sure, you were blunt and usually said what was on your mind, you managed to beat around the bush with the question he asked. 

Instead of giving Jimin an answer, you decided to ask to meet up to ‘settle’ this, whatever this was, in person.

Jimin, although nervous, was excited to see you again. He never made the final move to get your number at the party and he definitely wasn’t going to let you slip out of his fingers again. 

Approaching the cafe, Jimin let out a shaky sigh. It was the intervention he wasn’t even expecting. When he thought about meeting his pen pal weeks ago, he never felt nervous although he had caught quite the liking to you. But now finding out you were THE girl who made him open up his heart by being so accepting of the real him? 

Real him, he thought to himself with a scoff. Would you even believe the guy you talked to at the party was the real him? Or did you think that he was just trying to appeal to you in hoped of sleeping with you later?

He didn’t have time to answer his nerve-wracking questions because he caught sight of you–of course he remembered what you looked like; your image was glued to his mind–wearing sweats and most likely a sweatshirt way too large for you. 

Smiling softly at your being, he approached while watching you bounce your knee up and down and stare at the tea before you intently.

Your thoughts were a jumbled mess. Your stomach was doing flip flops and you heart was beating a miles a minute. Why did you agree to this?

After Jimin sent you the inevitable ‘do you like me too?’ text, you couldn’t even answer that to yourself. Instead of replying you agreed on meeting him at your campus’ cafe. 

What was he going to act like? 

Better yet, what did you want him to act like?

You just wanted him to be honest. Honest with you, but most importantly honest with himself.


You snapped your head up at the voice and gave a wary smile.

“Park Jimin,” You greeted, gesturing to the seat across from you for him.

“Jimin is just fine, you know?” Jimin smiled and took a seat.

“Sorry,” You apologized before moving you tea closer to you to take a sip. “So, my pen pal is the famous Jimin that I’ve heard so much about. How many girls want to be in my shoes?” You asked before taking a long sip.

Jimin chuckled and shook his head. “You wouldn’t believe me,” He sighed before taking a long look at you, “But I’m glad it’s you.”

“Oh really?” You wiggled your eyebrows, “You mean you loved flirting with me only to be constantly rejected?” 

Looking away for a split second, he rolled his eyes with a grin, “No–o. We had nice conversations that I’ve never had with another girl before. Y/N, I don’t think you understand how much you’ve grown on me.”

“I tend to be a blessing to people’s lives,” you flipped your hair behind your shoulder. Jimin laughed, causing his eyes to crinkle into a shape resembling crescent moons.

“I agree. Plus, I think you rejecting me really gave me a reality check. If I could be so easily rejected because you didn’t know who I was, that tells a lot about my reputation. I’m so used to people just begging for my attention but with you, I felt like I was begging for yours,” He finished his statement quietly. 

You raised your eyebrows in surprise. You always discarded Jimin’s flirting with a roll of your eyes over text but now knowing who he really was made your original thoughts about him change. He never gave up on you. Well, until you made your deal but still, he managed to squeeze in a few texts of endearment. 

“And then our talk at the party? Man, that really opened my eyes. It was the first conversation with a girl that didn’t have to do with flirting. You had no idea who I was and I was able to express my true thoughts and feelings.”

“You talked about yourself, too. I could tell you had a connection to ‘Jimin,’ but I didn’t even think that you were him. I noticed you were often, how do I say, at war with yourself, and very careful with what you said at first,” You said softly.

“Yeah,” He agreed with a long sigh, “I knew if I said the wrong thing to expose myself, you wouldn’t want to talk to me anymore.”

“How do you know that? Since when we first spoke, you were nothing but honest with me. Well, besides your identity. Even if I found out who you were at the end of the night, I would’ve been the only girl who new the real Park Jimin.”

“I didn’t know. People are so judgmental nowadays. A few weeks ago I found out my friend Jungkook’s pen pal didn’t tell him who she really was because the first time they met he looked so disappointed. By a single look, her self esteem was crushed and she decided not to tell him.”

“What happened to them?”

“They became best friends! Meanwhile Jungkook was falling for her and his pen pal unknown to him that they were the same person. Heh, I guess I could relate to that. After a bunch of drama with her fake friend, Jungkook found out and he felt terrible.”

“And?” You were on the edge of your seat. Was his friend forgiven? Were they still friends?

“Oh. They’re dating now,” He finished off.

“They are?”

“Yeah, she loved him. And he realized he loved her after she was out of his life for a while. It’s a really long story, believe me.”

“Well at least by the end, neither of them were judgmental. Jungkook obviously learned from his mistake and his pen pal didn’t judge him after all the drama and instead forgave him,” You pointed out.

“It took an entire intervention! It took me and Taehyung for them to finally settle the truth.”

“I can assure you, I’m not like that.”

“I didn’t know that then. Besides, what if you did know things about me and you were just like the other girls? For once I wanted to be a nobody.”

“You know,” You began, a smile stretching on your face. “I like this Jimin. If you don’t like the reputation you have, why don’t you just change, though?”

“It’s hard to. It’s hard to be something society expects you not to be.”

“Screw society. Be whoever the hell you want to be. If I was who everybody thought I’d be, I’d be nose in books and not caring toward anyone else on the planet.”

Jimin stared at you in admiration. How were you so accepting?

“Listen, I know we met up so I can answer your question but can I ask you this really vital question first?”

Jimin widened his eyes and nodded. “Of course.”

“Am I really the girl who changed the dear fuckboy?” You teased with a smile.

Sighing at the lack of seriousness in your question, he rolled his eyes. “I think so, my love.”

“Okay no really. One question: If I was another girl, would you still have the same feelings for me?”

He thought about the question for a moment. “I’m always going to like the girl at the party. If the girl I was texting wasn’t you, she wouldn’t have had the same effect on me. You were you and nobody would’ve replaced how I felt about you the first time we met.”

“So you don’t think it’s pure coincidence me and the girl at the party are the same person.”

“My love, nothing is an accident.”

“Then yes, Park Jimin. My dear fuckboy, I’ve had feelings for you since the  ‘have you ever fallen in love?’ conversation we had. It was our first real conversation and it really won me over.”

“You mean, you’ve liked me for a while now? And you made no move?”

“And give you the satisfaction and inflate your ego? No thanks,” You laughed.

“You know, I think even if we didn’t have the conversation about how I found out you were my pen pal, I still would’ve figured it out.”

“You think?”

“I know.”

Giving him a skeptical look, you asked, “How?”

“There was one thing–one statement–you two said that I didn’t remember until now.”

“Oh yeah? What was that?” 

He leaned in close enough to be only a few centimeters away from your and your breath hitched in your throat. 

“’In your dreams boi.’“ 

Before you could scoff at your repetitive phrase, he placed his lips on yours and this time you thought, Hm maybe he was right all those months ago when we first spoke. You don’t want this to be a dream.


Hehehe even tho during the piece of their convo at the party didn’t include the iconic, in your dreams boi, SOMEWHERE IN THAT CONVO THROUGH THE NIGHT IT WAS THERE HAHA

WHo’s ready for Jin’s pen pal bc his is next!!! (im sensing lots of fluff)

Love y’all!!!<333