In the Instinctive Triad: Personality Types Eight, Nine, and One
These three personality types have in common assets and liabilities which involve instinct. When they are healthy, these types relate to their environment and to others exceptionally well, responding from a deep wisdom within themselves, frequently as leaders of one kind or another. However, when they are unhealthy, they become out of balance with how they relate to the world and other people.
okay so I keep seeing posts about people who were told they were smart/talented as kids and are now struggling, and there’s this widespread response of thinking that these people are saying “UGH I can’t believe I’m not AMAZING and I’m actually just AVERAGE like everyone ELSE…”
when this is for the most part completely untrue. maybe some people act like this but it is definitely not the majority.
I myself have not experienced this (except there was a small thing that could fall under this) but I know many people who have. several of my friends from school did extremely well academically but are now having an incredibly hard time because they’re no longer in school. NONE of these people have an ego or think they’re better than anyone else, in fact most of them have very low self esteem and still did even when they were in high school. and they probably wouldn’t mind being average, except they don’t feel like they’re average, they feel like they’re worse than everyone else.
this is generally what I see happening:
a student is seen as intelligent. they grasp concepts quickly in school. their teachers and parents quickly make it their job to “enrich” the student, forcing them into a lifestyle of academics and school activities. they are given much more work than the average student, to the point where their schedules are jam-packed and they have no time for leisure activities. while other students are hanging out with their friends and developing social skills and just generally learning about life, this student is forced to focus entirely on academics, and while they are learning “book smarts,” they are missing out on learning crucial skills for later in life by not getting to have the same experiences as everyone else. so when it comes time for them to graduate and go get a job, they are severely lacking in these areas, and thus have an incredibly difficult time in the “real world.”
suddenly everyone is disappointed in them because they can’t live up to the standards people have set for them. they’re anxious and depressed and socially awkward to begin with, and since they haven’t learned how to cope with this stuff, they completely flunk interviews and miss opportunities and do things that hurt their ability to get hired anywhere. suddenly they’re finding that they’re not even average – they’re doing WORSE than everyone else. and the fact that everyone is now disappointed in them makes them understandably upset. they were supposed to be able to do this! they’ve prepared their whole life! so why can’t they do this?
and it all comes down to the fact that the adults in their life have forced impossibly high standards on them while actively discouraging developing social skills and, you know, having a life, and have thus set them up to fail. and since they have never learned how to deal with failure because a lot of times they were never allowed to fail, it hits them harder than most people.
now, some people have had more minor versions of this (I did experience a much smaller version not having to do with academics), where they weren’t robbed of their childhood, but were still told they could do something well, and then later find out they are horrible at said thing. you know what? that still really sucks. you feel like your whole life was a lie. that everyone was just lying to you. you don’t feel like any compliments are genuine anymore regardless of what they’re about. you don’t feel like you deserve compliments. and now you feel like you were never good at anything in your life and never will be. and the same thing applies; now everyone is disappointed in you because, oh you were so good at that thing, and now you’re not, you were supposed to do x and y things with your life using this skill, but you can’t, you’re such a disgrace.
disappointment is possibly one of the worst things to have to feel from another person, especially if you’ve been trying to please them your whole life. and I’m pretty certain that most people who feel this way are dealing with that kind of disappointment coming from everyone around them.
unless someone’s being an egotistical dick, I don’t understand why you would make fun of them for this. and most of the time comments from people who experience this don’t even come off as sounding like the statement in the first paragraph to me, just more like “I have disappointed everyone and I’ve disappointed myself.” which honestly really sucks.
they don’t think they’re “just one of us” now, they think they’re worse than everyone else and don’t ever deserve any praise. that’s not a good feeling. that’s not them being a spoiled brat. that’s the sign of a genuine mental disorder, and that’s not something to be made fun of.
Anyone have any tips for getting a queue set up/posting regularly? I want to have a constant flow of posts and not have such large gaps between posts but I struggle getting more than one done at a time, normally post it when I finish. ;-;
i’m obsessed with those vogue videos that are supposed 2 be like makeup and skincare tutorials but they’re not very helpful and they’re all already models / celebs with perfect skin so it’s just watching a beautiful woman invite you into her bathroom as she applies moisturizer and makes cute jokes n comments