but we will go out with a bang

  • Tim: jason, i was thinking of a bio-social exploration with a neuro-chemical overlay.
  • Jason:
  • Jason: wait are you asking me out?
  • Tim:
  • Tim: i was going to characterize it as the modification of our brother-slash-friendship paradigm with the addition of a date-like component... But we don't need to quibble over terminology.
  • Jason: interesting, and would you agree that the primary way we would evaluate either the success or failure of the date would be based on the biochemical reaction during the good night kiss?
  • Tim: heart rate, pheromones, etc. Yes.
  • Jason: why don't we just stipulate that the date goes well and move to the key variable?
  • Tim:
  • Tim: you mean kiss you now?
  • Jason: yes.

okay this is gonna sound weird but bear with me for a second

a couple months ago my friend told me about something called “lesbian sheep syndrome.” when sheep mate, all the female sheep has to do is stand there and the male sheep will take the initiative. but when two female sheep want to bang (and yes, lesbian sheep exist) they just sidle up to each other and wait because neither of them know what to do

lesbian humans do the same fucking thing. as women we are conditioned not to seek out relationships because it’s the men’s job to pursue us. we are actively discouraged from participating in our own romance. so when two women like each other, there’s this weird stand off because neither of them know how to proceed. add our internalized homophobia to the mix and it’s nearly impossible for us to find relationships without going through a significant amount of mutual pining and emotional distress first

the whole point of this is i know it’s intimidating to talk to someone new, especially a pretty girl, but you’ve gotta make a move! you can’t be a lesbian sheep!

Busybody stay-at-home mom neighbor harasses me until my restraining order kicks her out of her house.

I lived across the street from a very bored stay-at-home mom whose excess idle time turned her into an insufferable busybody.

Her husband backed out of the driveway and slammed into my roommate’s car parked on the curb. He apologized, gave us his insurance info, and took care of it. He was never a problem, because he accepted responsibility for what he did.

His wife, however, demanded that we never ever park any cars at the curb again, because “we can’t get out of our driveway otherwise”. The street was very wide - she was just completely unable to accept that the accident was her husband’s fault, and figured we were somehow responsible for it, ergo we were responsible for preventing it in the future.

We told her that we would avoid parking there whenever possible, but that we still had the legal right to park on the street, and that if necessary we would still do so, and that it was her and her husband’s responsibility to avoid hitting other people’s legally parked cars when backing out of the driveway. She wasn’t happy with that answer, but just told us we better stay out of her family’s way, and stormed off.

One day, she came storming over, banging on the front door, cussing us out. We got her on our security camera saying “If you don’t move that f*cking car in the next 10 minutes, I am going to f*cking total it with my truck. It’ll be your fault, and you’ll have to pay for the damage to my f*cking vehicle”. To this, I simply responded: “I don’t know whose car that is, but I didn’t park it there. I have you on camera, so if you do anything to that car, I’ll have to call the police and hand over this tape”. She then threatened to sue me for invasion of privacy for recording her, and still insisted that we move the car, even though it wasn’t our property. We just ignored her, and she did not do anything to the car - we did keep the recording though.

A few weeks later, I had a friend visit from out of town. He parked his car on the curb, and then started unloading some stuff from his trunk. She came storming out, screaming and cussing at him “I have told you repeatedly never park your f*cking car on this curb. If you don’t move it, I am going to f*cking total it, and you can f*cking pay for a new goddamn car, as well as the damage you do to mine!” He tried to calm her down, and asked if there was somewhere else he could park, and she replied “You can park it in Hell, because that’s where you’ll be after I f*cking kill you!”.

Unfortunately for her, he had his dashcam running the whole time, and it captured everything. He called the police, and she was arrested for threatening to commit vandalism and for threatening violence.

A few days later, she left a long-winded hate-letter in our mailbox. It was written as if it were an open letter from the entire neighborhood, and it basically said that “nobody knows who you are”, and “Everyone wishes you would move away”, and “Nobody wants you living in our neighborhood”.

Thing is, she forgot about the security cameras. I took the video of her opening my mailbox - which included her taking all our letters out of the mailbox and rifling through them - and I gave them to the post office. This led to her getting arrested for a second time that week.

After that, we used her two arrests, our collection of security and dashcam footage, and her letter to get a restraining order against her that actually prohibited her from entering her own home, and then we called the police every time we saw her because she was in violation of the order.

She ended up having to live in a hotel room, and her husband came over, apologized to us, and asked if we would drop the restraining order so his wife could come home. I told him I would do it, but only if she wrote me, my wife, our roommates, and the friend of mine she threatened a 1-page apology for her harassment - and that she would promise to never ever contact us again for any reason whatsoever moving forward.

I received no apology, and the house went on the market a week later.

Some f*cking people…

Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumor or spread gossip.

In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?”

“Wait a moment,” Socrates replied, “Before you tell me I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”

“Triple filter?” asked the acquaintance.

“That’s right,” Socrates continued, “Before you talk to me about Diogenes let’s take a moment to filter what you’re going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“No,” the man said, “Actually, I just heard about it.”

“All right,” said Socrates, “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?”

“No, on the contrary…”

“So,” Socrates continued, “You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you’re not certain it’s true?”

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, “You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?”

“No, not really.”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?”

The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was banging his wife.

📢LISTEN 📢 UP📢 ARMYS📢 HERE ARE 23 UNDERRATED  RAP MONSTER TRACKS THAT YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY CHECK OUT

*there are way more namjoon tracks but this list was getting too long* *just peep his mixtape and soundcloud*

1. Rap Monster by Rap Monster

This is Namjoon’s take on “look at me now” by Chris Brown and a.k.a the first ever song to be represented by Bangtan Sonyeondan as it was the first ever track on BTS’s official soundcloud.

This is an introduction to Rap Monster as an artist and a lit track. This shit was a bop!


2. Too much by Rap Monster

This song is extremely meaningful and Namjoon’s voice sounds breathtaking. This was Namjoon’s reflection of the B-free incident. He mentions how he shouldn’t take B-free’s hate to his heart and not to over think criticism. In the beginning he sounds really hurt but omg towards the end he is going hard, and it gives me old school rap vibes.

3. Unpack your bags by Rap Monster

This song is a huge middle finger to the underground rap community who looks down on idol rappers. This was a collab with the show 4 things where he mentions how hard it was him to pursue hip hop. He mentioned 4 struggles he faced in the industry. Check out the episode, the show also shows how he interacts with his producers and Bang PDnim and this was where the really famous “ Solo, or Bangtan” moment was born. We really got to know Namjoon as an artist personally and his teenage days.This is complimented with a really cute music video.

4. P.D.D (Please Don’t Die) by Rap Monster

This is a track where he collabed with Warren G  prior to his mixtape in L.A and this gives me chills because of that prominent West Coast feel. Check out the MV and the naver behind the scenes.

5. Something by Rap Monster (a.k.a my all time favourite song I don’t know why tbh)

HOLY SHIT THIS SONG TAKES ME WAY BACK! I feel as if nowadays the producers really autotune Namjoon’s singing voice and make it really shaky but hear you can prominently really hear his singing skills and It is such a sexy love song. It really gives your romantic feels and reflects on a sad teenage love story.

6. Where u At by Rap Monster


THIS IS SUCH A MEANINGFUL SONG. 

Here we have high school Namjoon talking about how school has gotten the best of him. In a culture where education and status are everything, he talks about letting his parents down and confessing to his relatives about his future in Hip-Hop. Its an extremely relatable track where you think about where you want to head in the future.

7. Favourite Girl by Rap Monster

This is such a cute fuckboy song omg Namjoon’s voice is so cute in this. Young love amirite.

But I have a secret meme with this song. In 6th grade I accidentally blasted this and my teacher started singing along to it since the chorus is in english and ever since my friends have been taunting me with this song.

8. Monterlude by Rap Monster

The instrumental to this was included in the Skool Luv Affair album. This is in english and this is such a cute love song. Namjoon would spoil his girlfriend omg.

9. Promethus by Yankie feat Rap Monster

Namjoon teamed up with some popular K-rappers and his verse in this made my pussy drop BUT EVERYONE IN THIS SONG DID SO AMAZING THIS IS SUCH A TURNT SONG I WAS JAMMING TOO HARD

This song is based off of the seven sins and Namjoon plays lust..ofc.

He uses some sick korean wordplay.


10. Bucku Bucku by MFBTY feat Rap Monster

MFBTY are already korean hip hop legends and the fact that such “old” and wise rappers decided to have Namjoon feature is an honor. 

He also had a little role in another one of their mvs here

11.   PRIMARY (프라이머리) - U (Feat. Kwon Jin Ah 권진아, Rap Monster 랩

This song is really relaxing and I love Primary’s beats and Kwon Jin Ah’s soothing voice, But Namjoon’s soothing rap was so sexy. It was just so hot omg.

12. Awakening by Rap Monster from his mixtape

This song was from his mixtape which you absolutely need to check out and I suggest you see his other music videos such as the legendary Do You  and Joke.

This song was extremely powerful and eye opening. Just ready the lyrics and you will know why.

“In  the moment of my failure
will someone hold my hand?
in the moment when I come down from the stage
will that person be next to me?
just tell me that I can survive
in this cold world, just feel my vibe
every night inside me I quietly fight with myself
my heart pounds, my colleagues stab me in the back
while saying that I became a moron after joining a company
yeah fuck you I’m an idol, yeah yeah I’m an idol
at one time I hated it but now I love to get that title”

13. I believe by Rap Monster

Extremely uplifting and it brings you a huge amount of self-confidence, its a self-loving song and its a self reminder to always believe in yourself no matter how much you fall. Also has a little appearance from Jimin.

14. God Rap By Rap Monster

This song talks about Namjoon being an athiest but also has a message for believers. It talks about controlling your own life and to be your own idol. It says how you have the power of god in you and how you are extraordinary.

15. Throw Away by Rap Monster

HOLY CRAP THIS SONG IS EXTREMELY LIT
THIS IS SUCH A BOP
OMG THIS ALWAYS HAS ME JUMPING 
CHECK OUT THE LIVE TOO

“got an automatic dick”

16. Rush by Rap Monster feat Krizz Kaliko also from his mixtape

Funny story this is how they got together and created this lit korean meets american rap track.

Namjoon goes really hard in this, check it out!

17. Drifting by Rap Monster also from his Mixtape

This song has a theme that goes with “Reflection” and “Always”, He says how his thoughts are drifting and how feels lost (almost like the track lost in wings). Its put you in a trance where you, yourself starts to think about where you are in life and what purpose you have. 

18. Life by Rap Monster from his mixtape

This song got me tripping because Namjoon is a lyrical genius. The amount of questions this song got me saying is insane. Just read.

“ the little me inside myself was always lonely
why is there no opposite word of loneliness?
could it be because people, until they die, have no moments of not being lonely?
it’s necessary to seek a moment to be alone
yeah that’s a life
we live inside danger
through the reward that makes us able to see this beautiful world “


were we born to die, were we born to live
are we living to die, or are we dying to live
the nametag with my name on it, is that my life?
or is it death

who knows…

life, fall in love
life receives injuries from us and
is lonely because of the wind and
we wanna be right
but always wrong
were we born to be wrong?
is life something like that?
(in the end, for our whole lives we don’t know what tomorrow will be)”

19. Monster by Rap Monster from his mixtape

“R TO THE M IMMA MOTHERFUCKING MONSTER”


20. Joke. (you should probably know this)

I really did’nt want to include this because his 2 most famous tracks are Do you and Joke and I wanted to keep this list to the underrated but tbvh I was really surprised when I figured out that people don’t know this track.

HONESTLY IF YOU TELL ME NAMJOON DOESNT HAVE RAP FLOW OR CANT RAP FAST WATCH THIS FUCKING VIDEO>

In this track he said how he is mocking rappers who only have good flow but no sense of meaningful lyrics. 

The lyrics in this song make no sense but the rap flow is too damn good. WHEN WATCHING THIS YOU WILL BE LIKE HONEY PLEASE BREATHE. HE RAPS SO FAST.

PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS MASTERPIECE> HE GOES SO HARD HE TRUELY IS A MONSTER

21. DO YOU BY RAP MONSTER ( (you should also probably know this)

In this track he talks about how at a young age society tells us what to be, how to look, what to wear, how to behave. He says fuck whatever they say and just do you.

Originally posted by jjungkook

22. Fantastic by Rap Monster (from fantastic four)

I heard that fantastic four was shit but Namjoon got a chance to do a song for a movie which is a big deal for bangtan so WHOO


23. Illest Bitch

A really cute confession from Namjoon going through Puberty

Originally posted by ksjknj

Supernatural School Pt. 2

Part 1 (X)


It always takes time to sort yourself out after a reaping, even a relatively pleasant one. That’s why, even though you’d like to rejoin Sam, Amanda and Lexi in the cafeteria, you head back to the dorms.

You don’t feel any different after. Some legends say that you eat the souls of the dead, praying on them for sustenance. You’d like to say that Reapers never do that, that they never commit such a heinous crime, but you’ve been around long enough to know better than to lie. There are words for Reapers who eat, none of which you’d dare say here. Names give things power and eaters get more than their fair share to begin with.

You shiver under the blazing sun and try to turn your mind to more pleasant topics.

You are halfway back to your room, when you see Ms. Jan, Mr. T and Principal Finn rushing towards the animal husbandry building. Mr. T’s upset enough that his mane has burst free of his button-down shirt though he’s the only one of the three so affected. Ms. Jan, all banshee characteristics gone, is composed as she leads the group, strides long and purposeful. Principal Finn is listening to her seriously, his wheelchair rolling over the grass easily, with a grim expression on his face.

This is, of course, until he sees you.

You keep your expression blank as Principal Finn says something to Ms. Jan and Mr. T, gesturing for them to go on, and then directs his motorized wheelchair towards you.

Keep reading

170601 BTS official’s Tweet

[#2017BTSFESTA]
OPENING CEREMONY
: Skit about 2017 FESTA!

[Audio Trans]:
NJ: Are preparations for Festa going well?
HS: Yeah.
YG: It’s a mess, it’s crazy.
HS: It’s Festa soon.
NJ: First off, Taehyung and I are forming a team to compose a cool song.
TH: One song.
HS: Ohh~
SJ: Wow~
JM: I’m really looking forward to that.
NJ: Taehyung contributed a lot to it.
TH: No, (it’s because) hyung [Namjoon] did everything well..
JM: We haven’t even heard the song-
SJ: Right, right.
JM: So we’re really curious.
JH: What am I going to do? What are you guys doing?
NJ: What are the others doing?
YG: I’ve already thought of something.
SJ: I’ve thought of something too.
NJ: Ah, really?
YG: I’m going to be the main character.
SJ: It’s gonna be amazing.
JM: Anyways, I…
HS: This hyung [Yoongi] has good ideas.
YG: Idea King. 
JM: I’m looking forward to Suga-hyung the most. Really.
YG: I’ll show you a sneak peek.
TH: Personally, I-
YG: It’s crazy.
JM: It’s crazy?
TH: Recently, I’ve been wanting to see black-haired J-Hope.
SJ: It’s been crazy these days, everyone goes wild and screams “HOPE!” when they see J-Hope now.
TH: Black-haired J-Hope!
NJ: He should go from J-Hope to J-Black.
JM: I think I’m the problem.
SJ/HS: Why?
JM: My practices aren’t going that great.
HS: Ahh~
NJ: But I’m really looking forward to it.
YG: Well, from the start, it’s not easy.
SJ: That’s right, don’t worry…
NJ: It’ll turn out well.
SJ: Let’s all work hard to prepare and go take a photo.
NJ: For this Festa as well, let’s work hard and show cool things.
JK: Let’s work hard to show the best result.
YG: Preparations are almost done, anyways…
NJ: I think we’ll get a good response and lots of people will like it.
JM: Lots of people are looking forward to it, so we have to prepare well.
HS: Let’s take the photo, come on.
TH: Let’s do ‘bangtan bangtan bang bangtan’ once.
SJ: Bangtan bangtan…
ALL: Bang bangtan!
HS: Yah, go go go! Selca, selca!

Trans cr: Christie & Kylie @ allforbts
© Please credit when taking out

I think, instead of telling kids ‘don’t do drugs, they’re bad’ we should show them the opiate withdrawal patient I had the other day

25 years old, in jail for god knows what, cops bring him in with a lac to his forehead from banging it on the wall repeatedly. He is already handcuffed so we put him in an isolation room, with sliding glass doors. Because he is in custody we take everything but the bed out of the room. 

Patient is screaming the whole time he doesn’t want to be there (same bro) with blood everywhere from the head lac. 

5min later, I hear this sickening crash, I’m pretty sure someone has just run head first into the glass doors, because mate I’ve done that before those curtains are assholes, so rounding the corner I see blood all over the glass door, patient still screaming he wants out but is now banging his head on the glass. 

It takes 4 security guards to hold this guy down, he is absolutely losing his shit, screaming and flailing and has no idea whats going on. Calling out for his mom, for Neil (???), for a sandwich, doesn’t know what day it is or just refuses to answer we can’t tell, pupils 4mm and sluggish but thats how it was when they brought him in, so security cuffs him to the bed so he can’t hit the wall. 

Fastforward 10 minutes and he has dislocated/broken his wrist trying to get out of the bed and to the door, he has puke and stool everywhere, refused to take the ativan so we gave midaz, but that didn’t touch him. 

This guy screamed from 2-7, we maxed out what we could give him for benzos and he was extraordinarily agitated and wouldn’t settle and was only in the beginning stages of withdrawals. It was terrifying, but the thing that got me was after screaming about how we took the 20′s (from his underwear??) he was quiet for a minute, I thought ‘shit the midaz finally caught up with him and now were gonna need to intubate’ but he then screams

“I don’t want to do this anymore, I don’t want to be on drugs anymore, I want this to stop, I want to be clean, please someone help me”

And thats what got me. This guy was 25, had his whole life ahead of him, but got caught up in drugs and it was going to kill him, and he wanted out, but withdrawals were so bad that it was easier to keep using. 

Fuck telling kids don’t do drugs. Show them what its like to try to stop, how all your friends die from OD, how you are one phonecall-not-made away from death yourself, how you get to be tied to a bed in the ER and your nurses need to apologize to other patients because you can’t stop screaming and just shit yourself and puked the cookie I gave you and your body is on fire. 

Don’t just tell them not to do it, because that doesn’t work, show them what its like to try to stop, because sometimes fear works better than facts. 

Note: Throughout the day we gave him 4 of ativan, 27.5 of Midazlolam and 12 of haldol, and this guy still was still agitated and screaming and 100% inconsolable, and by that time the doc was like ‘we can’t give him anymore, but lets transfer him out before he crashes’. It was a fucking time

Phichit walked into the bakery, door bell tinkling above him and was instantly met with the scent of vanilla and melted chocolate. And along the sleek glass countertop, the sight of what looked to be a rather impressive selection of… penises.

‘Oh boy,’ Phichit whispered to himself as Mila appeared from the back, carrying another perfectly pink and erect penis sponge cake. She spotted Phichit, rolling her blue eyes and tossing her head over her shoulder.

‘In the back,’ Mila said brightly, placing the beautifully iced penis down with flourish. Phichit raised an eyebrow.

‘Are there more of these?’

Mila gave Phichit an amused look, which was all the answer he needed really. Phichit sighed, placing his camera bag carefully behind the counter as he made his way through.

The bakery kitchen was somehow housing more dicks than the standard subway turnstile at nine in the morning. Large and long, sat on edible ball bearings and sprinkled in coconut flakes. Rotund and swelling sponge girth, the smell of sweet sugar almost bizarre with the sight. And leaning over the steel counter, a finger dragging through the sumptuous dribble of buttercream from the tip of another lovingly iced cockhead, was Yuuri. Who couldn’t have looked more miserable about the whole situation.

‘Really, Yuuri?’ Phichit asked, taking pity as Yuuri didn’t even look up from behind his flour sprinkled glasses. Phichit walked around the counter, taking in the range of dick cupcakes to what could’ve been dong cheesecake. ‘Again?’

‘It’s practice,’ Yuuri mumbled, stuffing his finger into his mouth to swallow the glob of buttercream he had perched there. Phichit scoffed.

‘For a bachelorette party that was last week.’

Yuuri had nothing to say to that, instead sinking even further down onto the counter. His brown eyes were fixed on the precariously placed penis in front of him. Phichit put a hand on his waist, waiting for an explanation he already knew but still expected Yuuri to say aloud. When that didn’t happen, Phichit gave in.

‘Is this still about the lawyer?’

‘Divorce lawyer,’ Yuuri corrected miserably, poking at his cake with a long finger. The sponge shifted on its cake board, penis wobbling.

‘Typical man,’ Mila chimed, coming in from the front of shop. Phichit gaped, waving a hand at her to shut up.

‘You’re not helping.’

‘Not trying to. Just let him bake it out,’ Mila replied happily, evidently finding the bottle of edible glitter she was looking for as she turned on her heel. ‘Besides Yuuri, I know Russian men. And you’re dodging a bullet.’

‘Still not helping!’

Mila waved a hand behind her as she vanished through the kitchen again, leaving Phichit looking at Yuuri’s defeated back surrounded by a small, erect arsenal.

‘Honest to god, this has to stop.’

‘I think Mila’s right,’ Yuuri said miserably, gathering another fingertip of buttercream. ‘I just need to bake this out.’

‘You could be banging this out,’ Phichit teased, watching Yuuri choke on his small mouthful.

‘He just wants to bang me and move on,’ Yuuri said with what was definitely a pout, something that was rendered even more adorable by the swipe of what looked like melted white chocolate on his nose. ‘I’m not going to help him with that. I need to drop it and move on. Victor has put marriage off the table, and nothing I do can change that.’

‘You eat his dick like you’re eating that one and you’ll be just fine. Now can we please stop with the phallic sponges?’

With more spite than Phichit had ever seen, Yuuri bit the head off his small, iced penis in one obscene bite. Phichit shuddered, unable to stop himself from crossing his legs as Yuuri glared at him.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO @lucycamui​!!!!


From me and @sparklingwaterbabie​!!!! OwO
Thanks so much to sparklingwater for sending me a message about this idea and for writing such an AWESOME scene!!!! >W<

MUCH LOVE TO YOU LUCY!!!!!
(this excerpt is for the next big project Lucy is working on with sparklingwater, LOOK FORWARD TO IT, I KNOW I AM!!!”

vintage Carmilla fandom things
  • L/Elle/Ell/Eleanor Discourse
  • Is Danny a werewolf?
  • Is Danny Elle?
  • Is the Dean Carmilla’s mother (this question came up earlier for people who’d read the book than those who hadn’t)?
  • H*llence vs. H*llstein 
  • I’m not spelling out either of those because virtual fucking blood was spilled in that ship war and it still hasn’t totally died and I don’t want to arouse the ire of anyone in the tags
  • people stalking Natasha and her mom
  • I’m not sure anyone ever figured out why they stalked her mom
  • One time someone shipped Carmilla/the Dean and tried to hold a Carmilla And Lilita Week for people to make fanworks about them. 
  • Most fans were understandably put off by the idea of shipping someone with her abusive mother figure and nobody contributed except this one person who made us all deeply uncomfortable for a week in the tags
  • thE DAYS WE SPENT THINKING CARMILLA WAS DEAD
  • I’M PRETTY SURE THAT EPISODE DROPPED ON A THURSDAY SO WE HAD TO LIVE WITH IT ALL WEEKEND
  • I HAD JUST GOTTEN OFF A PLANE TO SEE MY PARENTS FOR THANKSGIVING WHEN SOMEONE TOLD ME AND I HAD TO GO CRY IN AN AIRPORT BATHROOM EVEN THOUGH I DOUBTED IT WAS FOR KEEPS
  • Stars and Candles (early name for Hollstein, before the current name solidified)
  • Carmilla’s bangs. that doesn’t seem like a big thing but some people got like personally affronted when Natasha decided to grow her bangs out
  • “See that subscribe button? You should click it.”
  • VerveGirlTV
  • Laura having no fashion sense to speak of and straight hair
  • Perry dressing like a Sunday school teacher. From 1987. 
  • Coming up with names for Laura’s dad
  • “But what if Carmilla’s not a vampire in this version?”
  • Yes, that was an actual theory. I saw it a surprising amount considering it was made clear from almost her first appearance that she was a Massive Vampireface from Vampireland
  • I’ve just realized Tuesgays and Thursgays are becoming a vintage fandom thing and now I’m sad
halloween sentence starters

Feel free to change pronouns or anything else !

at a party

  • “I love the decorations.”
  • “There are so many sexy kitties in here.”
  • “Am I the only one in costume?”
  • “I’m not sure if this room is full of strangers or if I just can’t recognize anyone because of the costumes.”
  • “Do I hear ‘Monster Mash’ playing?”
  • “Come on, let’s dance. Even the skeletons are doing it.”
  • “Did someone spike the punch?”
  • “I hate costume parties…”

at a haunted house

  • “This stuff’s for babies.”
  • “AAAAAHHHHH!”
  • “Hey, can we…go home? Not that I’m scared.”
  • “BOO!”
  • “Wait, are you actually scared?”
  • “FuCK NO–”
  • “That makeup is so realistic.”
  • “I paid $40 so I better die.”

alone

  • “You should hang out with me later. I’m gonna marathon a bunch of movies.”
  • “[text] Hey, it’s me. I heard banging noises and I’m terrified. Please save me.”
  • “Halloween?? With friends?? What friends?”
  • “[text] I just heard some weird noises. [text] No I’m being serious. [text] I need you ri”
  • “I’m probably just going to stay up all night so the ghosts don’t kill me.”
  • “I’ll just be chilling with the monsters under my bed.”
  • “Maybe I’ll summon a demon so I have someone to hang out with.”
  • “Do ghosts like Netflix?”

with kids

  • “Don’t eat all your candy at once!”
  • “Aw~ I love your costume.”
  • “And who are you?”
  • “Look, man. You can’t give toothbrushes to kids on Halloween.”
  • “Trick or treat!”
  • “Let me check those before you eat them.”
  • “UGH, why am I stuck with a bunch of babies?”
  • “I wish it was socially acceptable for me to trick or treat on my own, but it’s not, so.”

with friends

  • “We should egg his/her/their house.”
  • “Help me with my costume!”
  • “TIME TO GET SPOOKY.”
  • “Are you just going to wear a T-shirt that says ‘costume’ on it?”
  • “Should we be drinking this much?”
  • “The ouija board says you’re a little shit.”
  • “Let’s tell ghost stories.”
  • “Time to join the skeleton war, bitches.”

as a flirt

  • “You look so hot in that.”
  • “After being freaks, are we gonna get freaky?”
  • “[jumps into __’s arms out of fear]”
  • “Your outfit is scary…take it off.”
  • “I came in here expecting a trick, but you’re a real treat.”
  • “If I was in a scary movie, I’d want to be trapped with you.”
  • “You–uh–spooked…my heart.”
  • “I’d let you haunt me all night long.”

misc.

  • “Let’s carve a pumpkin!”
  • “I’d be a witch in another life.”
  • “I wonder if I still have that ouija board…”
  • “Do you believe in ghosts?”
  • “What costume are you wearing?”
  • “Let’s pull a prank.”
  • “I hate Halloween.”
  • “Can you tell me why you have an actual skeleton in your closet?”

Is Your Sign a Hoe?

Aries: You can be, when you’re not obsessing over one person

Taurus: Yes, Taurus is typically one of the most hedonistic signs

Gemini: You were born to be a Hoe. Own it. But eventually you’ll get bored with that. And then five years later you’ll be ready to hoe again.

Cancer: You’re a Hoe for love and validation , but generally? Nah, you’re not a Hoe.

Leo: You’re so blatantly hoeish that I’m not sure we can still call you a Hoe or something more evolved

Virgo: No, you like to have fun, but you’re too busy to be a Hoe

Libra: You a Hoe with a heart of gold. You don’t even realize it, but that doesn’t make you not a Hoe, I’m sorry.

Scorpio: The Original Hoe™️ all others are mere interpretations of what Scorpio has done before them.

Sagittarius: It depends. Every Sag has a ‘thing’ they go wild for. If yours is hoeing, you’re a Hoe. If it’s say, stationary, nah you’re no Hoe.

Capricorn: You’re the slyist Hoe. The one we never expect. But when everyone looks away, that Hoe comes out to play.

Aquarius: You one wild ass Hoe! I love it! Go get your ass ate on that park bench! Get dem daddies lined up to bang you! The innovative Hoe.

Pisces: You a Hoe, but only until you find a Hoe that changes you, then you all can Hoe together! Might I suggest a Scorpio?

The Shadowhunter Chronicles rated by Queerness
  • City of Bones: It is noticed that Alec is gay for Jace several times. Also, Magnus flirts with Alec. 6/10
  • City of Ashes: Alec starts to secretly date Magnus, but we don't see a lot of it. Also he's still kind of gay for Jace 6/10
  • City of Glass: Alec wants Magnus to call him. Magnus tells Alec he loves him. Alec realises he loves Magnus. ALEC KISSES HIM IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CLAVE. But still not a lot is seen of them. Aline Penhallow realised that she's a lesbian. 7/10
  • Clockwork Angel: Magnus calls Will handsome. No other gay. Very disappointing. 2/10
  • City of Fallen Angels: Magnus and Alec are on a 'romantic vacation', But they do not come back until the end, and fight. Magnus makes it clear that he is bi. They make up and make out. 7/10
  • Clockwork Prince: Magnus kisses Will, but as a ploy to get away from Camille. He notices how handsome he is again. Disappointing, but better than CA. 4/10
  • City of Lost Souls: THERE ARE LESBIANS. THERE IS A LESBIAN COUPLE THAT EXCHANGE RINGS. ALINE THANKS ALEC FOR COMING OUT SO SPECTACULARLY. Magnus and Alec are featured once again, but fight a lot. Magnus refers to himself as a 'freewheeling bisexual'. Alec tells everyone what homophobia is like. Theybreakupintheendanditspainful. 7/10 (becauseofthebreakup.)
  • Clockwork Princess: Magnus makes it clear that Will is handsome. He seems be in a 'physical relationship' with Woolsey. That means he hooks up with Woolsey. 5/10
  • City of Heavenly Fire: THE QUEER IS STRONG IN THIS ONE. Alec and Magnus are broken up but are still in love. Magnus gets taken to hell dimension and Alec stops at nothing to get him back. A lot of kisses. Emotional scene with them and Magnuses dad. 'I don't want the world, I want you'. THE LESBIANS ARE BACK. BUT THEY GET EXILED. A FEW SCENES WITH ALINE AND HELEN. ALEC BRINGS OUT THE SASS AND COMPLAINS ABOUT STRAIGHT PEOPLE. HE WANTS A HOT SILENT BROTHERS CALENDAR AT THE END. IT IS REVEALED THAT MICHAEL WAYLAND WAS GAY AF. A LOT OF GAY SCENES 9/10
  • Lady Midnight: A LOT OF GOOD QUEER. KIT THINKS TY IS HOT. KIERAN AND MARK MAKE OUT AGGRESSIVELY TWO-THREE TIMES. Magnus is featured and talks about Alec and his baby. Mark and Kieran part at the end but Kit comes to live with Ty at the end. Kieran says he loves Mark. Mark loves Kieran. 8 and a half/10
  • Lord of Shadows: THE LESBIANS COME BACK. I REPEAT. HELEN AND ALINE COME BACK. MAGNUS AND ALEC ARE FEATURED PROMINENTLY, AND ARE AMAZING AND CUTE AND DOMESTIC. SO ARE THEIR KIDS. DIANA IS TRANS AND WE HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SCENE WHERE SHE TELLS GWYN THAT SHE'S TRANS. KIERAN AND MARK MAKE OUT MORE. MARK, KIERAN AND CRISTINA ARE HEADED TOWARD A 'HOT FAERIE THREESOME'. KIT AND TY SEEM TO BE GETTING ON VERY WELL ;))) THERE IS A LOT OF QUEER IN THIS BOOK 12/10!!
  • Companion books:
  • Tales from the Shadowhunters Academy: a lot of gay. Magnus and Alec are featured in most stories. They ADOPT A KID AND KISS IN BtEN. Matthew and James seem pretty gay tbh. There is an entire chapter about Michael Wayland and his feelings for Robert. There is ENTIRE CHAPTER ABOUT HELEN AND SHE SAYS SHE LOVES ALINE A LOT OF TIMES. THEY GET MARRIED. 9/10
  • The Bane Chronicles: THERE ARE A LOT OF GAY/BI CHARACTERS. IMASU MORALES. MAGNUS CONSTANTLY SAYS HOW HES ATTRACTED TO BOTH GENDERS. MAGNUS AND ALEC HAVE A FIRST DATE AND AGGRESSIVELY MAKE OUT AND ALMOST BANG. MAGNUS SPENDS AN ENTIRE CHAPTER PINING FOR ALEC AND REALISING HES IN LOVE. We don't talk about The Voicemail of Magnus Bane but there's some I love you's in there. (Also 'you broke my brothers heart and I'm not going to stand for it') 9/10
[TRANS] BTS Festa 2014 - Post-its to BTS

V

“Hey V!
When hyung look at you, uh, my heart hurts so so much.
I said you just need to trust and follow hyung right?
Why don’t you know that ㅋㅋㅋ Be obedient ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Wanna gang up and fight off Suga-hyung? Deal?” - Jimin 

“Hey V…
What’s your next hair color?
I’m curious too.” - Suga 

“V, speak to the point and precisely.” - J-hope 

“V.
You’re the kind of kid that makes people love and hate at the same time.
You’re similar to me in many things but sometimes I can’t understand you… Be more obedient.
P.S. Am I weird too?” - Rap Monster 

“Be a human.” - Choreographer Son Sungdeuk 

“Taehyung.
I don’t mind you resting in my room when I’m not at the dorm but clean up after you go~ Let’s live cleanly at the dorm! You’re No.1 on my blacklist ㅋㅋ” - Manager 

J-HOPE 

“Hobi-hyungnim.
Hyung ㅋㅋㅋ I demand a duel with you and Suga-hyung ㅋㅋ Right now you guys think I’m cute but the day this table is turned will come soon. Wait a little bit more.” - Jimin 

“Hey Hope…
These days your variety sense is getting better.
It’s good.
But thanks to that it’s twice noisier too…” - Suga 

“Hobi-hyung.
You’re always hopeful and cheerful but I think you must go through hard times too. If you do, you can look for me and talk. I can listen to your stories. […]” - Jungkook 

“Hey J-hope.
I heard you saved my contact as ‘Kim Seokjin-hyung’.
It’s okay.
I saved yours as ‘Bighit Jung Hoseok’.” - Jin 

“You pervert… ㅡ ㅡ
For example when I’m playing games, don’t turn off the outlet.” -

“Hope.
Sometimes you’re earnest, sometimes you’re the laziest. Show the world more of your abilities.” - Rap Monster 

“Chief Jung who always work hard and look after BTS. Wait, now that you’re promoted, you became team leader Jung right? ㅎ I believe there’s no doubt you’ll get good reward and result with how hard you’ve worked. Let’s get promoted to President Jung!” - Bang Shihyuk PD 

“Team leader Jung who’s always very helpful! Thanks~” - Choreographer Son Sungdeuk 

RAP MONSTER 

“Hey Rapmon, shower cleanly.” - J-hope 

“If you borrow something you have to return it back.” -

“Hey Rapmon…
These days you’re not snoring…
Thanks to that I’m sleeping peacefully.
Thank you…” - Suga 

“Hey Rapmon.
I don’t know if I adapted myself to your snoring or if your snoring got quieter, but I got used to it.
It’s fine, it’s all good.” - Jin 

“Rapmonie-hyung.
You must be tired from going through a lot for the 6 of us right. I’m sorry I can’t do anything for you. I’ll work harder so you’ll have less hard times.” - Jungkook 

“Moni-hyung.
You’ll stand by our side right? You will right? I like you a lot but nah, I think you’ll betray us ㅋㅋㅋ I’ll leave you out. It’s a coup d'état!! Kakakaka.” - Jimin 

“Go to the bathroom before we start practicing.” - Choreographer Son Sungdeuk 

SUGA 

“Suga-hyungnim, thank you for thinking I’m cute ㅎㅎ I’ll fight you off some day. I’m gathering the team for it. Just wait. From the coolest guy in BTS.” - Jimin 

“Syub-hyung.
Please be more obedient.
I know your childish inner self better than anyone else ^*^!” - Rap Monster 

“Hey Suga.
I like your lazinism. Really.
I feel at ease when I see you lying down.
Really.” - Jin 

“You only need to show a little bit of your lethargy.” -

“Suga-hyung.
You must be tired from working and composing until late at night. You don’t seem to gain any weight so please eat a lot. When […] I’ll buy it for you.” - Jungkook 

“SUGA fighting!!” - J-hope 

“To. Suga Rebel.
Old soul. Genius artist?
Thanks to you BTS can be BTS. I hope you can keep being that way and become a great artist!!
When will you write a title song? ㅋ” - Bang Shihyuk PD 

“Take care of your health when you’re still young.” - Choreographer Son Sungdeuk 

JIN 

“Jjin-hyung~
You’re doing great.
Please show us the ✨eldest hyung✨ side of youㅡ
P.S. Thanks for your cooking! ^*^” - Rap Monster 

“Jin-hyung, please shave.” - J-hope 

“It’s too much if you know you’re handsome yourself.” -

“Jin-hyung…
Must be tired doing all the assignments for college right…?
You just need to avoid getting academic probation…
I’ll always support you.” - Suga 

“Jin-hyungnim.
Hyungnim T_T~ I’m going to fight off Syubsyubie-hyung and Hope-hyung but I need your help! If you’re there those people will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ㅋㅋㅋ So you have to help me!!!
The most handsome cook in BTS, Jin-hyung.” - Jimin 

“Jin-hyung. Thank you for making us many delicious dishes.” - Jungkook  

“To. Jin BTS’ shoulder-slash-eldest-hyung!
You always stay behind quietly but I know you are their mediator and their shoulder to lean on.
Maybe the day when you’re called Korea’s best actor will come soon too?^^” - Bang Shihyuk PD 

“Seokjin.
Thanks to your ability to cook tasty dishes from limited ingredients, I always get to eat deliciously~ Take care of me in the future too~” - Manager 

“Hoot…” - Choreographer Son Sungdeuk 

JIMIN 

“Hey Jimin…
Why do we stop growing so soon…” - Suga 

“Jiminie-hyung.
You’re having a hard time these days because of me right.
I’ll be more obedient.
Thank you.
Let’s work out together 3 years later ㅋ” - Jungkook 

“Jimin.
You know I love you right?
It’s no joke~” - J-hope 

“Don’t touch your thighs you pervert.” -

“To. Jimin
Hardworker, in charge of charm, Jiminie!! ♡
From someone who joined BTS the latest, you have now become an irreplaceable part of the team! Keeping working hard in the future too!! […] the saying that heaven will help hardworkers.” - Bang Shihyuk PD 

“Go to the bathroom early. Don’t go when we start.” - Choreographer Son Sungdeuk 

JUNGKOOK 

“Jungkook…
Stop working out…
Let’s not work out with me…” - Suga 

“Hey Jungkook.
You listen to me well so you’re good.
This brat.
Good. But refrain from working out…” - Jin 

“Jungkooks~
Jungkook, I’m not pressuring you! I’m planning to kick out Suga-hyung and Hobi-hyung but I won’t pressure you to stand by my side. But I’m treating you really well!!! Right? Our kind and pretty Kookie…” - Jimin 

“Jungkook, you’re so good even at practicing. I think I need to learn more because of you too. But be more obedient~” -

“To. Jungkook
Golden maknae!! Is there any word that can describe better than this? ㅎ
I believe that if you are not settled with your natural talents, not hate doing repeated things and work with passion, there’s no doubt one day you’ll become the best singer in Korea!
Hope you will never forget your passion and effort!!” - Bang Shihyuk PD 

“My manager. Once a manager, forever a manager.” - Choreographer Son Sungdeuk 

“Jungkook~
Wake up when I wake you in the morning! Sometimes I’m scared when no matter what I do, you still remain motionless like a stone stature. And sleep on your bed~! Don’t sleep in weird position on the floor too~!” - Manager

BUZZFEED UNSOLVED AU
  • So basically,,, Lance is loosely based off Shane and Keith is loosely based off Ryan
    • Tbh Shiro and Lance being in Shane’s role is interchangeable, sometimes Shiro will do an ep and sometimes Lance will do an ep (it’s mostly Lance tho)
    • Shiro will usually fill in if Lance has like, a project or big test and can’t do an episode
    • [Shiro voice] hey there, demons, its me ya boy
  • Pidge handles the camera/techie stuff and Hunk helps out with editing and such
  • Keith and Pidge are Big Conspiracy Theorists and they start a YouTube channel called “Voltron Unsolved”
    • Lance: What the fucks a Voltron
    • Keith: do you want in or not?
    • Lance: of fucking course I do
  • At first it was mostly them just fucking around in a forest or allegedly haunted hotel trying to find demons and stuff but it got really popular after, like, a year
    • people loved the dynamic between Lance, Keith, Pidge, and Hunk and Shiro and Matt, when they joined in sometimes 
  • there’s 5 different Mothman episodes bc Keith is this close to catching him
  • Lance, in a panicked voice: something just grabbed my ass
  • One time they couldn’t find Shiro so theres just like 20 hours of footage of Pidge, Hunk, Keith, and Lance going around town looking for him and speculating on where he could be
    • Lance: thE COCO GOT HIM 
    • Keith: mothman is real and he abducted my brother behind a Denny’s
    • Pidge: what’s up gamers Shiro was fuckin possesed by a ghost
    • Hunk: oh my god Shiro died and we have to learn necromancy to resurrect him
      • turns out he was just hanging out with Matt lol
      • Matt: and I would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling kids!
      • Pidge: Matthew you are twenty eight, stop acting like a child
  • Keith: so apparently the spirits in this hotel are excessively violent and aggressive
  • Lance, from the shadows, lobbing a vase at Keith: YEET, BITCH
  • Pidge’s running gag in the show is that she says some variation of “I’m gonna call a fucking exorcist” whenever Lance fucks around in a haunted building or something
    • the funny thing is though she never actually does until they’re reviewing footage from when they visited the Lizzie Boren house and as Keith is talking to the picture of Lizze, they hear Keith’s name repeated many times in a voice not belonging to any of their’s
      • Pidge deadass calls an exorcist
  • Keith, turning around when a chair falls over: what was that?
  • Pidge: dunno. some bullshit
  • [Lance voice] Hey ghouls! The boys are here!
  • Hunk gets scared easily but he’s also really curious so tbh he’s probably the first to go poking around at some spooky shit
    • Pidge: what’s that red stain on the dresser huNK NO-
  • Lance: If you slit my throat tonight I’m gonna have a hard time forgiving you for that 
  • Keith, wheezing: okay are you going to haunt me in the afterlife then?
  • Lance: what? No ghosts aren’t real 
  • Pidge, zooming in on Lance’s distressed face: Local man very anxious, tune in at 11 for more
  • Shiro tries, really, really hard not to get any of them killed
    • not by like, the ghosts or demons or whatever. He lets Pidge, Lance, Hunk and Keith deal with that spooky stuff. He just doesn’t want the landlady of the haunted motel to murder Lance for banging on the walls and yelling “hey demons come out come out wherever the fuck you are!”
  • Lance: where the hell are we gonna get a Bigfoot costume in the middle of June?
  • Hunk: Target is having a five for one sale on brown rugs and I have a bunch of duct tape left over from band night?
  • Lance: Hunk you are a GENIUS
  • Keith loves investigating the paranormal and all but he gets freaked out when Lance starts fucking around with the demons or ghosts
    • Lance: ayyyy I’m getting a selfie with this ghost, this is going on the snap
    • Lance: there could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing behind you and you wouldn’t even know it
    • Lance: hey Keith the demons want you to blaze it lol
  • Lance likes to tease about Keith believing in ghosts but he will never let anyone know that something brushed up against his foot while it was hanging off the bed when he was lying down and now he keeps a bag of salt in his pocket at all times
    • Hunk: oh my god we don’t have any salt to make a salt circle we’re all going to die a painful and excruciating
    • Keith: Hunk calm down-
    • Lance, screaming and grabbing handfuls of salt from his pockets: NOT TODAY GHOSTS NOT T O D A Y
  • [while on the Queen Mary] Lance: Keith what if we’re in the same spot one of the scenes in titanic was filmed?! What if I’m standing where Kate Winslet stood?!
    • Lance: those lucky ghost bastards, getting to hang out when Titanic was being filmed here
    • Keith: … the people who died here did so in a horrific and unimaginable way
    • Lance: yeah but they probably got to stare at Leonardo DiCaprio when he was soaking wet so who’s the real winner here?
  • Pidge, zooming in on Keith and Lance sitting in the tub: two bros sittin in a hot tub… five feet apart cause they’re not gay
  • Pidge: ya aint shit ghost!
  • Lance, banging on the windows: ya aint SHIT
  • Pidge: ya just. like. ya FATHER.
Harry's interview on Quotidien
  • I: Can you hear me?
  • H: Yes
  • I: Welcome to Paris!
  • H: Thank you
  • I: How are you? Can you answer in French?
  • H: Good! A little bit. A tiny bit. Très bien et toi ?(very good and you?)
  • I: Very good, thank you. We start our interviews with “can you give us your five favourites words in English or French. Or a French sentence”. Someone told me you knew a French sentence.
  • H: Comment vous faites un café si délicieux? (How do you make such a delicious coffee?)
  • I: OK, that’s good.
  • H: That’s all I have.
  • I: Do you say it very often?
  • H: No... Yes
  • I: What does France mean to you? Is it something, someone etc...?
  • H: Best people I’ve known... I think her, *shows a fan* I guess. Fabien Barthez.
  • I: Yes, Fabien Barthez. Harry, you’re 23 years old and you’re one of the best known pop-star in the world. Everybody has expectations with your new album and single Sign Of The Times. Why did you choose that song? This is not what people were expecting.
  • H: I think I wanted to.. I've always liked music that made me feel something. You know I think writing it I could feet something I wanted to bring it out. I think it's a good indicator for me of what the album is to me. That's why I wanted to go with that first.
  • I: Billboard wrote that the single was "one of the more ambitious opening statements in pop this decade". Not bad, isn't it?
  • H: Thanks!
  • I: Do you have friends working at Billboard?
  • H: I don't know anyone at Billboard.
  • I: When we listen to the song we think of David Bowie, Queen, who else did you think of?
  • H: I mean, I think everyone, anything, any song you've ever listened to growing up or throughout your life or you've enjoyed, inspired you. There are a lot of different things. I wanted to just write and see what came out. I didn't know what I sounded like to make an album. So this process was as interesting for me as I think it will be for people listening to the album for the first time.
  • I: Do you know French singers other than Serge Gainsbourg? That's a tricky question.
  • H: I know Woodkid. He directed my music video.
  • I: Why him?
  • H: I think his videos are amazing, he's a really talented guy and I love French people so I worked with him.
  • I: When you're in Spain, do you say that you love Spanish people?
  • H: No!
  • I: It seems like everything has been easy...
  • H: Great tie.
  • I: You think so? It's French.
  • H: It's not a Spanish tie, isn't it?
  • I: Can I see your loafer? Oh yes! What is the brand? That's not French, isn't it? It's Italian.
  • H: No.
  • I: That's from the European Union!
  • H: Probably yeah.
  • I: It seems like everything has been easy for you, is it true?
  • H: Was what simple?
  • I: Your life, everybody wants a life like yours, with One Direction...
  • H: I mean, I feel very lucky to be able to make music, I feel very lucky to be able to make this, I feel very lucky today being in France and performing my song. I love this song. I can't complain.
  • I: What were the unpleasant things?
  • H: *thinking*
  • I: I don't know, say only one thing.
  • H: I think when you care so much about something, it's hard to get to the point where you feel like it's finished and it feels like you're adding and it never ends and it adds up. So I think the hardest part was getting into that point and be like "ok that's finished."
  • I: You said to the Rolling Stone magazine that most of the album was inspired by a woman. Really?
  • H: No I think, honestly, the album is much more about me than it is about anyone else. I think if I said the album is about a woman it kind of feels like, I don't know, I put a lot of work into this. I don't feel like it revolves around woman. It's a lot about me and things I've never said before. It's more about me.
  • I: How did you start with a boy band and end with a solo career? Is it complicated?
  • H: It's been a lot of fun. You know we were very lucky to get to do some amazing things and at the moment in our lives, we're in a time where everyone is trying their own thing and have a good time. It's been amazing to see everyone doing their own thing as well. If I can do as well as the others, it'd be amazing.
  • I: Do you call them everyday or text them? Do you use What's app?
  • H: I don't have that.
  • I: Why?
  • H: Yes we talk, absolutely. And everyone is bringing stuff out. It's been a lot going on. It's been a good time.
  • I: This is the album cover! Can you describe it? Why did you choose this picture?
  • H: Yeah. So, I don't know. I worked with photographer Harley Weir, I'm a massive fan of her work. And that's amazing and I was lucky enough to work with her. I felt like this was what I wanted.
  • I: Why is it pink? Why the water? Why your back? Why? It's beautiful but why is it pink?
  • H: I don't know, man!
  • I: Really? You don't know?
  • H: I don't know. I don't think I want...
  • I: Apparently pink is Rock'n'roll's colour.
  • H: Apparently so. I don't know. I think it means something to me and if it means anything to anyone else, I wouldn't want to take away from that by explaining it. I think the cool thing about stuff like photos and art is you can just leave it. You don't have to explain it.
  • I: Everybody sees what they want to see.
  • H: Yes exactly.
  • I: Have you seen this?
  • *video of people reacting to Harry's single*
  • I: Your fans record themselves while listening to the song for the first time. You can hear relevant analysis and apparently they all really liked it. Do you read what people say about you on social media? On Youtube, Twitter, Instagram? Do you use Instagram?
  • H: Yes I use it a little bit.
  • *The public disagrees with Harry*
  • H: Yes I use it a little bit. I mean I wish everyone was having as good time as the girl who was like that with her hands. That's what I do when I listen to the song.
  • I: Are you the one using your Instagram? Do you use your own fingers or someone else does it for you?
  • H: Yes, I do mine.
  • I: Do you still vote in Redditch?
  • H: In?
  • I: Redditch!
  • H: That's where I was born?
  • I: Yes.
  • H: I don't live in Redditch.
  • I: So you don't vote there. Where did you vote?
  • H: London, yeah.
  • I: What do you think of the Brexit? Welcome to Europe!
  • H: Thank you very much, thanks. I mean, I don't really comment on politics. To me, anything that brings people together is better than things that pull people apart. That's ... yeah.
  • I: Yet, you are in favour of equality of rights, men, women, gay people, straight people... That's politics.
  • H: I don't know. It doesn't feel like politics. I think stuff like equality feels much more fundamental. I feel like everyone is equal. That doesn't feel like politics to me.
  • I: Your fans are fetishists. They know all of your tattoos, piece of jewellery, they have heart attacks when you cut your hair. Right now you're playing with their feelings. Do you know that?
  • H: Oh ok.
  • I: Yes! What is your favourite tattoo?
  • H: I think... I have a.. probably. I don't know, actually.
  • I: Which one is the latest?
  • H: The latest is this one there. *shows Arlo* And this one. *shows Jackson*
  • I: Jackson? All of them?
  • H: Yes.
  • I: What's the story behind your haircut? How much did you spend on hair products with One Direction?
  • H: Yeah, like a lot. I used a lot, yeah.
  • I: You're in Dunkirk, Christopher Nolan's new movie.
  • H: Yes.
  • I: How did you do?
  • H: I auditioned.
  • I: Look at you there.
  • H: I am, that's me.
  • I: Yes.
  • H: I auditioned and it was great. It's going to be a really cool movie.
  • I: Harry, it feels like we know you since you're a baby. The whole world discovered you in 2010 on X Factor.
  • *video of Harry's X Factor audition*
  • I: You auditioned alone but Simon Cowell had an idea... he put you in a band with Zayn, Louis, Liam and Niall. You became One Direction. You found the name One Direction and you sold millions of albums. One Direction are soon considered as the new Beattles and you filled the biggest stadiums. The whole world was talking about you. When you go out we prayed for your eardrums. You became UK's pride. David Cameron is in one of your music videos, your sang for the Queen. But in 2015... bang! Zayn left the band, fans couldn't get over it. But don't worry, their favourite is now on the cover of the Rolling Stone magazine, he's in Christopher Nolan's new movie, he's Mick Jagger on SNL... What you don't know is that we've met in 2012. You were in France to promote an album and now I have questions. First one! When you're in a car and fans are all around you, do you see that?
  • *video of fans around a car*
  • H: I think I've actually lost my shoe there. When I got in the car... I got in the car and I was like "how many shoes do I have?" Yes I lost my shoe.
  • I: I have another question! Do you still do that before going on stage?
  • *video of Harry and Lou*
  • I: Can we do it?
  • H: No.
  • *does it anyway*
  • I: What is the weirdest question someone asked you?
  • H: I think it was actually a French interview. I got asked if I would pee in a sink... Yeah.
  • I: Ok, that's weird!
  • H: It was the first question, the first question.
  • I: It puts you in the mood.
  • H: Yeah.
  • I: What is the question you never want to be asked ever again? Did I asked you that question?
  • *Harry asks the public*
  • H: Which one? Oh crush.
  • I: What?
  • H: Crush.
  • I: Oh ok. I didn't ask it! Did you know that a French author wrote a novel about you. It's called "Styles", it's about his obsession with you. It's in French. You can translate it.
  • H: Oh! Is that true?
  • I: Yes it's true. He dedicated to you. It's called "Styles" and it's a really good book. Read it!
  • H: Thank you.
  • I: Thank you very much Harry Styles for coming tonight. His first eponymous album comes out on the 12th May. Thank you Harry Styles.
  • H: Thank you.
  • I: Have a safe journey home.