but we like to be funny!

somegaytrash  asked:



we decided that it would be absolutely hilarious if matt turned out to be even more of a flirt than lance and then they both jokingly flirt with each other all the time… this leads to very unhappy and jealous shiro/keith and a very proud pidge 😂

pls enjoy 💜

(shipping shiro with both matt and allura is a constant daily struggle for me…….. i really need shatt to be more popular tho because it’s precious but also the ship name makes me laugh every single time)

AU where Kimball and Doyle both survive and Locus and Felix are defeated and restrained. Felix is making a bunch of smug comments like “What, so you’re gonna kill us now? Think you’re so tough?” and all that Felix-y bullshit.

Kimball and Doyle just look at each other, before Kimball goes: “Actually, no.”

“See, Kimball happened to find something interesting while we were transferring supplies from the New Republic to Armonia,” Doyle adds, arms folded across his chest. “A phone, with only two numbers listed in the contacts. One of them belonged to Locus. The other belonged to someone who claimed he knew the both of you. Rather nice fellow, liked to talk about his family.”

With a knowing smile, Kimball holds out the cellphone, with the name ‘Siris’ and a number visible on the screen. “And we think that anything he’d do to you would be so much more satisfying than anything we could do.”

Felix and Locus’s faces go pale as the nearest door is slammed open by a prosthetic foot, which is followed by an angry shout of “WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY?!”

i know we keep saying we’re not gonna make it thru promo season but i am honestly like 100% genuinely not going to make it when grainy snapchat videos have me feeling like i’ve been hit by a fucking train after being thrown out of an airplane,,,, like there is approx a 0.00000099% chance that i’m going to be able to make it thru a whole fuckING WEEK of harry on corden performing his entire new album while doing funny skits and laughing and serving up iconic looks not to meNTION the fact that he’s probably gonna do more than just corden and there’s still a music video coming out and a whole full length film like i’m just,,,, it was nice knowing y'all

Funny how
I know you don’t miss me
But I still wish
You did

Last time we met
You noticed how different
I became

How different
You’ve made me

You who touched my
Star like heart
Dripping of joy and happiness
You who turned it into
Ice like coldness
Dripping of nothing but bitterness

Isn’t that a little
Harsh, don’t you think?
You didn’t even KNEW
How much you meant to me?
After all my caring for you?

I didn’t ask to be cared back
I just wish you would acknowledge
That you’re loved
And that you deserve to be loved
Everyone does, after all

But I don’t want anyone anymore
Not even you.

—  Have I become different?
TalesFromYourServer: God bless the owner.

The owner at the bar I work at is only there 2(sometimes 3) days out of the week, leaving most stuff to myself and the day manager. He’s a dirty old man(dirty as in crude, he doesn’t harass anyone) and he likes to bring gifts to his employees. Safe to say we all love him to death.

Incidentally, he won’t take anymore crap than necessary from assholish customers. He is directly responsible for our shipments(with input from myself and the day manager on what seems to be going faster than usual). Last night, he was there prepping our order. When they came in. I could feel it, these were going to be class A assholes. It was a former trophy wife and her classic golfclub asshole husband. At first they were pleasant enough… If drinking broken glass is pleasant.

Then came the time for the check. As soon as I gave them it(46.84$ by the way) they waved me back over. I finished the mug I was pulling, handed that to one of my barflies and walked back over.

Me: what can I do for y'all?

Bitchy lady: what can you do about this bill?

Me: pardon?

Asshole guy: its too high obviously.

Me: its what y'all ordered.

BL: what was so expensive!?

Me: [internally: ITS LISTED ON YOUR TAB]

AG: you know, we know the owner…

And then it happens the owner, who happened to be a few feet away, heard it. And he walks over.

O: is there a problem?

AG: yeah, this bill is way too high, we want a discount.

O: [smirking] Im sorry, but theres no way to do that

BL: Ill have you know were good friends with the owner!

O:[grinning like a fucking loon] is that so? Ive never met you before in my life.

Their faces were absolutely beautiful. The owner turned back to what he was doing and they were quick to pay and leave.

TL;DR: the owner is fucking awesome.

By: Michael_Ceras_Pubes

anastasia-goddess-of-drama  asked:

The face that Lena made before she punched Beth again gave me all kind of Gloria Miller's vibe and I was like bless, I wouldn't be surprised if Katie was excited to do this scene.

Why it’s so funny you say that, love… What do we have here?? Everyone has been saying it since Monday night and Chance gave me the idea that night too. It was necessary. 😁 And I have no doubt that Katie has a bit of fun here.

anonymous asked:

i never realised how gay "coming clean" was until you said it and now i can't stop thinking abt it??? pls show me all the secret gay songs i need to know

I think “Coming Clean” is the only song explicitly about sexuality, but there’s a couple other throwaways in other songs? Also, Billie has said the Dookie is a bisexual album, so I take that to mean that we’re free to interpret the lyrics as gay as we want lmao 

Anyways, here’s songs i interpret as Not Straight

Coming Clean (you know)

Basket Case

Most famous pronoun change? It’s so funny hearing interviews about this, Mike is, like, gushing, about what a genius Billie is for making the whore a “he”

Blood, Sex, and Booze 

First it’s “oh mistress”, and then it’s “thank you sir” 

King For A Day

Gettin’ guys hot and bothered by dressing up, y’know

In The End is questionable cos it’s on the self-proclaimed album that talks a lot about bisexuality, and it doesn’t use any specific pronouns…..

Aaaaaand that’s all I got, sorry! 

So I just want to say that while the vore-memes in this mtg community were funny like 2 months ago; 

We are not just beating a dead horse at this point, but we beat it so much that it just turned into minced meat and we are now just wacking the floor where it once lay instead.

and it gets real cringy when yall dragging my chars into it. pls dont do that. 

sgarrett49  asked:

For the games can you please do #20 with Dean?

20. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”


“Y/N? Can you hear me?”

Dean studied your stretched out figure, gaining no response from you.


Still nothing.

“Come on. This… this isn’t something I’ve ever said before, but… you mean a hell of a lot to me. The time we spend together… I never thought I’d be this happy. Every time I see you smile, every time I make you laugh… I feel like my life has gained ten years. And you’re so smart and funny and a damn good hunter. You give Sam and I a run for our money.”

Still no response.

“I’ve come to the realization that I need you in a way that I’ve never needed anyone else. You… give my life purpose, I guess.”

Dean sighed.

“So, I guess what I’m saying is… you need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

Was that the flicker of an eyelid?

“Y/N?” Dean reached out and poked your arm. “Y/N?”

The slightest sound escaped your lips.

“Y/N? Y/N? Y/N?” Dean continued to poke your arm.

“Deeeean,” you moaned. “Stoooop.”

“Come on, Y/N. You said you’d watch Breaking Bad with me.”

“Dean, just go ahead and watch it. It’s not like I haven’t seen it before.”

“But it’s not as fun without you.”

You cracked your eye open, peering up at Dean. “I’m right here. I promise I’m listening.”

Dean pouted slightly. “Fine.” He clicked on the TV and snuggled down next to you, pulling you into him. “But just know that there’s going to be a pop quiz after tonight’s binge session.”


Drabble Games! Send me a number and a character :)

TalesFromRetail: "I AM THE CUSTOMER!!!"

I have worked in retail for roughly 10 years and never in my life have I ever witnessed a return go oh so very wrong like it did today. I am currently employed at grocery store that has the fairest return policy known to man: If you need to return an item without a receipt, you get your money back. If you return an item that we normally carry in our store with a receipt, you get your money back and the item is replaced for free (as long as it is of equal value). Even though this is a god-tier return policy, some customers tend to take advantage of the company and this is what leads me to my story.

Background: You know those customers that ALWAYS have a problem with something they’ve purchased? This is exactly the type of customer I deal with every time she shops at my store. She is never satisfied with anything she ever purchases and always wants to replace her items. The first time she shopped at my store she had purchased ground beef. Some time passes and she comes back to my store and explains to me that she found wood chips in the ground beef and our store needs to notify corporate of this hazard. She did not have the product with her, but had a receipt. Horrified, I told her I would make an exception and replace her item, as well as give her the money back for the extreme inconvience. Turns out she had already approached the store manager about the issue and the manager told her that we were unable to replace the ground beef without the item brought back to us. This is where I fucked up and I will tell you why–this caused a chain reaction. From then on, she continued to bring back items either half consumed that went bad or items that she did not like and usually I was the one that had to return it for her. Some of the times she did have the receipt and item with her, so I gladly gave her the replacement items and her money back. Other times, she complained about bad produce she purchased and even though she didn’t have the item, I gave her an even exchange just to keep her happy. She is the type of customer that is very abrasive, but I have always been nice to her to reduce any tension. All of this leads to the nuclear situation that occurred because she had to complete her return with a different associate other than myself.

Story: The customer, who we will call Manic Lady (ML for short), came up to me and brought two items to return. I told her if she would like to exchange them, we can complete the return once she finished shopping. After my line was cleared, I went on the sales floor and was speaking to my Supervisor (S) when the Associate (A) at the register started to frantically call for S for assistance. Immediately following, I was asked by A to line up customers at my register. Walking up to the front, I could hear ML yelling at S.

ML:…I’m returning these two items so I get my money back and my free items.
S: No, you don’t have your receipt, so we can only offer you your money back.
ML: Look at this! (holds up the item) It has mold on it.
S: Okay, but you ate half of it and without a receipt I have no idea the last time you purchased it and how long you have had the item open.
ML: SO?! And this one tasted disgusting. You need to give me my money back and my free products.
S: I cannot offer you your money back and replace the items without a receipt. This is company policy.
ML: This is ridiculous! I have shopped here for a while and always got my money back with free items.

This goes on for another 5-10 minutes until the customers behind her become increasingly angry with her blatant disrespect for S. Finally, a hero rises. After ML accuses A of being rude to her the last couple times she shopped at my store and how she is going to contact corporate, Hero Customer (HC) steps in a calls out ML for causing a scene.

HC: Look, I am just try to check out and you are being so rude to this woman. You need to have some respect.
ML: I have respect, but she won’t give me what I deserve.
HC: You need to go away.
HC: Go away, old lady.
ML: Do you hear how disrespectful you are being?!
HC: (laughing) I was behind you at another store just earlier and you did the same thing to the cashier so just go so the rest of us can check out.

At this point, this altercation had been going on for about 15 minutes and S started to get tired of holding everyone up and allowing ML to throw her temper tantrum. To avoid anymore melt downs, S returned the items, gave her the money back and replaced them even though the items ML picked out were way above the price of the original items. Then it came down to paying for another item that ML wanted to buy. ML thought that she could replace and get refunded for two items that cost about $5 with three items that cost over $15. Even though she continued to argue that she shouldn’t have to pay for the final item with her refunded money, she gave in. But wait, there’s more!

ML: Where’s my $5? Did you give me that $5?!
A: Yes I did. I handed it to you with your receipt.
ML: (frantically searching through her purse) It’s not here, I don’t think you gave it to me.
A: (Puts hands up) Ma'am I don’t have it. I gave it to you.
ML: Well, I’m not calling you a thief, but you need to have your manager check the cameras to make sure you gave it to me.

S is called back and tells ML that the cameras can only be checked by the general manager. ML is set off once again and A agrees to at least count the drawer. While A and S are counting the drawer, ML decides it’s a good idea to openly vent to other customers that witnessed this catastrophic return. One person that she turns to must of been in the military or an off-duty cop. We will call him P.

ML: Can you believe how that girl (HC) was talking to me?
P: Well, she was a lot nicer than I would have been.
P: You are being a public nuisance.

Finally realizing that everyone in the store is sick of her, she finally shuts up and waits for A and S to return. They come out of the office and inform ML that the drawer was only short a few cents and she did indeed receive her refund. S even printed out the balance sheet to prove that A did not have her $5. ML pays for her final item, but not without yelling how she is going to return tomorrow to get her money back. This would be the end, except now she wants to replace a refrigerated item that is now warm due to her having to wait so long. She goes back, replaces her item, and begins to leave the store while yelling, “I AM THE CUSTOMER!!!”

By: anarchvolk

when dennys started their tumblr with ahaha random memes i already knew it was stupid marketing bullshit, some of it was actually kinda funny but its like “We shopped an egg onto a horse” or some shit and its like ok we get it Mr. Funny Man McIntern

right now anime wendys is the thing and you bet your sweet ass a year or two from now everyones gonna be like yeah ok we get it nice “””clapback””” at burger king or w/e

anonymous asked:

I will give you that! Justin has to TRY to be funny. It just comes naturally to Harry!

I have a wholllllle bunch of stuff I could say about Justin Timberlake and why he’s not my fave, even though i was like super obsessed with him in 2007, but I want to say nice stuff about Harry instead.  

I super agree with you that this sort of stuff comes naturally to Harry.  I have just always felt that he is a charisma genius.  A real, actual genius.  

I know a lot of wonderfully funny and charming people in real life, but like, so few people are able to let that kind of effortless energy come across on camera.  And it’s probably not actually effortless!  I mean, we know he gets nervous about stuff!  But he usually strikes the right notes of self-deprecating and witty and thoughtful all at once, whether he’s on stage or being interviewed or just doing background stuff in a bts video, and it never feels like a lie.  

I think it’s because Harry is a truly empathetic person.  I love him.    

anonymous asked:

I'm sad that Haise probably called Touka Kirishima-san because otherwise I can imagine him entering the cafe and being like "Should we touka about the weather?" (I miss his puns).

Haise: You know I’m a very responsible and sasarious person. Do you think I’m a funny person?
Touka: Uhm ye…
Haise: No, you’re right I’m not funny, I’m just really punny. 
(I miss pun Haise too ;’D).

castielfallenangelwinchester  asked:

I'm worried about 12x19, I mean firstly for the obvious reasons (brilliant destiel pain and sadness) but also because it seems like we've been waiting for it for years now and I'm afraid I've hyped it up too much, if you know what I mean?

I know exactly what you mean, I also am thinking, wow, I’ve way over speculated about this episode and the end of the season, how annoyed and embarrassed will I be if I’m wrong?! But then that would mean a whole lot of us are wrong! So… it would also be kinda funny!

Originally posted by justalittletumblweed

But you know, one thing I do try to remember is that I have an overall idea of what I think the direction of the show is going in so even if individual episodes don’t quite add up as long as other overall arc of the show and the season does thats ok?

Also, the fact that we are watching this over years and years rather than a 1h30 minute movie means each individual episode is often slightly anti climactic when they’re hyped up like this because the story is often dragged out for longer than we might expect it to, if that makes sense?

I mean the I shot the sheriff joke lasted SEASONS! ;)

Essentially, I have a hope for what I think will happen in this episode and how it will tie in to the season as a whole, the final few episodes and the overall arc of the whole show, but if it doesn’t happen, unless it is completely contradicted and characters are killed off so it can’t happen in the future, I won’t get too upset by it as it will be production reasons not narrative reasons.

Hope that helps!

anonymous asked:

Panalegs: Just as I was about to give up on The Flash they go and make that Killer Frost costume! Well done, really really well done WOW She looks amazing!! Also the makeup is on point! Poor Cisco but I glad he's been getting more screen lately

Hello! Praise our lord grodd and the baby jaysus for this.

Also yep, Carlos gets to shine like never before. We see so many different sides of Cisco this year and he plays each amazingly. From rich egocentric Flashpoint Cisco to grieving brother and friend, young man falling in love, superhero in the making, broken man last night… it’s great. Some people miss his always happy/joking side but I don’t, he’s still funny and gives his famous one-liners and movies references every now and then. Can’t wait to see him fight Killer Frost next week. 

Calling Dio an asshole is easy. It just kinda slips off the tongue. Calling him an asshole is like breathing air it just comes naturally.

Calling him a stinky idiot is a true insult to his character and we should all work it in there because it’s fucking funny.

Today I woke up to the news that a toddler has been run over and killed. I don’t know who it is yet, but a lot of my friends know who it is, so I probably know them too.

Today I woke up to news that a friend who has tried so long and fought so hard to have a baby, lost the baby. They were in the home stretch too. Three weeks away from delivery. She spent the entire first trimester in the hospital and was so in love with that baby.

Today, I woke up to news that a guy I went to high school with passed away yesterday. We weren’t close. He was one of those guys that I liked in school, not liked liked, but he was a cool guy. He was funny. He had a wife and a little girl. On Friday he posted a meme about how only the good die young, thankfully I’m an asshole. He even captioned it “I’m going to live forever”.

I have no great philosophical thing to tie this post together. The day is starting with a lot of loss. Don’t feel sorry for my loss. It’s not really mine. All of these folks are just outside my circle. Their circles intersect with mine. It’s just a bummer.

There are no gifs tagged existential bummer.

Breakfast At RadFauna’s

We’ll start with some whole ground cavies supplemented with ground mutton and chicken organs and bones for the ferrets (plus some ferretone as a treat). Entire diet is on constant rotation of animals with main focus being rodents and birds and macros (muscle, offal, and bone) always monitored. 

Now for the birds! They get a hand blended pellet + seed mixture (easy on the seed) and fresh grapes (that will actually be placed on the bars of their cage). On days where they don’t get a sweet treat they get your standard chop. 

Pen is next! Time for some stinky, disgusting blood worms, fed individually for enrichment and to make sure he doesn’t get the drop or other overeating related issues! He also gets brine shrimp on occasion but is your standard fussy betta.

None for the snek since he’s stressy and shedding. I already have whole pinkies and fuzzies for the ferrets so when he’s ready to eat I’ll have them on hand for him!

Yep, nothing like starting the day off ri…oh, wait, forgot one

That’s better. Breakfast all around.