nazism is illegal in germany. using nazi greetings and flying nazi flags is illegal in germany. why isnt the kkk unconstitutional in america. why arent white hoods and white supremacist propaganda illegal here. why.
exo: yes we are boys from exoplanet.. we have powers and we’re slick as fuck using them… we are alien royalty.
ok we go to school now… and we’re wolves. lol we don’t know either we’re just doing it for the a(nime)esthetic. our powers are gone but shhhh don’t mind that.
right, now suddenly we’re in a maze and we’re fucked… none of us can leave… we’ll just sit on our asses here i guess. it’s cold. and there’s a lot of sand.
update: we got out of the maze and our powers are back… but they’re fucked up and we’re all scattered around the world causing shit. we miss each other… like we can’t even talk because our phones are glitching like some dumb bitches.
we’re back but now it seems we live in a wonderland… or something. we don’t know either. it’s a vaporwave-ish universe and minseok is making drugs… sehun won’t sleep until the sun is down… twat.
now we’re jedis and- wait nevermind we’re emos who fight and play basketball in the snow and hang out with space whales.
suddenly we’re monsters who go hard as fuck… we’re some real bad boys. baekhyun has a lip ring, are you shook? hell yeah you are.
update: we joined the mafia.
another update: we’re no longer in the mafia. now it’s christmas and we’re sad about an ugly bracelet.
ok and here we are and we’re hillbilly weasley pastel tropical kings… you heard right. we kokobop on any block… please love us even though we literally said we hate you and have been keeping you awake for an entire week.
DM: alright Maulie, that brings you to 0 hp, you’re gonna need to make a death saving throw now
Maulie, ooc: *stares intimidatingly at the dm* Do I need to do that, (dm)? Do I?
Dm: … wait shit you’re right, nevermind
Our new monk: … what the hell just happened??
(Maulie was wearing a special amulet that would always save her from death saving throws so she would just be stable but unconscious at 0 hp. Everyone kept forgetting she had it, including the dm, so she was a bit salty about it by now. Our newest player didn’t know this)
Fact: Bisexuals are dangerous and a menace to society. They are affiliated with sin and dark magic. They are extremely dangerous, with an average height of 50ft and the ability to kill anyone who looks into their eyes. They have dark green scaly skin and yellow eye- wait…That’s basilisks. Nevermind. Carry on.
♤ byun baekhyun
♤ fucking adorable
♤ constantly screaming
♤ basic bitch
♤ honestly not even kidding
♤ still using eyeliner
♤ literally introduced himself as “eyeline baekhyun” on happy camp
♤ likes to help kyungsoo harass chanyeol
♤ a literal baby
♤ footage of him screaming while playing league
♤ mandarin skills oN POINT
♤ fandom can’t take him seriously when they watch mama era videos
“i wonder how hard he tried to not laugh”
♤ smiley smiley
♤ don’t fucking hate on him he’s a baby
♤ baekhyun stans be like bRING IT ON BITCH
♤ sometimes irritates everyone else
♤ just kidding i meant always
♤ no actually
♤ likes shitting when minseok’s showering (naked)
♤ doesn’t give a fuck about “personal space”
♤ basically every asian mom that doesn’t knock on your door when you naked
♤ except he doesn’t leave and does it intentionally????
♤ his insta is fucking arT
♤ also he likes talking about dicks
♤ makes sehun happy about talking about his dick
♤ can will piss you off if you watch him too long
♤ v aesthetic beauty
♤ hair colour fucking art every time
♤ killing stans one moan at a time
♤ honestly those vocals are just
♤ do you feel me
♤ do you fEEL ME
♤ moaning man
♤ god why is he so beautiful
♤ he could easily be a main visual if he isn’t idk
♤ a naked visual
♤ copies yixing
♤ giggles with yixing
♤ god you can’t deny baekxing
♤ if you do what type of person are you
♤ like he just looks so happy with yixing like
♤ inspired by yixing to dry hump the stage floor
♤ honestly praise
♤ praise hiM
♤ i think he hung out with yixing so much he became as lost as yixing is
♤ honestly he just gets so spaced out sometimes yknow
♤ def the type to get lost in a walmart lol
“whAT DO YOU MEAN THIS IS THE PERIOD SECTION”
♤ got lost in new york
♤ trusted chanyeol completely
♤ chanyeol trusted gps completely
♤ my tiny puppies are so fucking omg
♤ they’re just so cute crying
♤ literal puppy
♤ i swear he’s just
♤ and chanyeol is the bigger clumsier puppy that gets lost and omg
♤ and jongdae would be the puppy that wouldn’t let any of them go
♤ oh yeah he’s part of the beagle line
♤ it’s called the beagle line for a reason
♤ like um
♤ they’re puppies
♤ i don’t know what you mean by “you’re seeing things”
♤ i can see them so clearly-
♤ probably a pain in the ass
♤ i feel bad for junmyeon and kyungsoo tbh
♤ how to put up with him
♤ the type to walk in on you showering
♤ oh wait a sec
♤ honestly i see him breaking things
♤ breaking brooms
♤ breaking shoes
♤ breaking kyungsoo’s beauty sleep
♤ so playful
♤ so free
♤ doesn’t give a shit
♤ but don’t say bad things about him please
♤ he sees what you say and it makes him sad
♤ so on behalf of the exo community, if you’re gonna say something negative:
♤ fuck off
♤ hOW COULD YOU SAY SUCH A THING ABOUT SUCH AN OMG
♤ HE’S LITERALLY A FUCKING CHILD PUPPY
♤ just stare at him and you’ll fall in love
♤ he’s just so fucking extra
♤ all the time
♤ baek nobody asked you to talk about exo’s dicks
♤ but we thank you anyways because tHANK YOU
♤ exposing exo 26/7
♤ sm probably hates that lol
♤ indulges in being baekhyun
♤ also likes to harass exo whether they like it or not
♤ showering??? what a great bonding time
“baek what are u doing” “shh junmyeon will hear me” “i am junmyeon”
“Are you ready to order yet?” your waitress asks as you finish your third lemonade. “Still waiting on someone.” you say as you fiddle with your straw out of embarrassment.
She gives you a look and you sigh before checking the time again. Your best friend Jack was supposed to meet you at your favorite diner an hour ago and here you were, waiting like a lost puppy for him to show.
Your waitress stops by the table again but before she can speak you save her the trouble of breaking your heart with her questions. “I’m leaving. Sorry to waste your time.” you mumble as you grab your belongings and head for the door.
When you reach your car you dial Jack’s number and when you get no response, you decide to drive over to his place, humming along with the radio until you reached your destination.
All week Jack had been acting weird and it was finally time for you to figure out what was going on with him. He had never been the best at feelings–he saw them as weaknesses–but you had always been the one that he told his secrets to.
It took some coaxing and hard work on your part, you had to approach him at the right time, in the right place, with the right attitude. It was hard, but you knew what and when to do…And you decided it was time.
When you finally pull up in the driveway you frown as you notice there are no cars in front of Jack’s house. Pausing for a moment, you decide that maybe you should just head home; until you see Jack’s room light flickering through the window.
Your eyes dart up to his window and even though you can’t see anything, a sick feeling flows through you. Putting the car in park, you hop out and walk slowly to the front door, loud muffled music filling your ears.
Knocking loudly, you wait for a few moments before Jack swings the door open with a big smile. “Hellooooo (Y/N)!” he yells and you push him inside softly, shushing him as loudly as possible.
“Jack shut up! Have you been drinking?” you gape and he just grins goofily. You didn’t even have to ask, really, the smell of his breath made it evident. “Nooo.” he says with a giggle and your amusement quickly turns to anger.
“Is this where you’ve been?” you ask agrily, looking into his eyes in the hopes of finding a piece of Sober Jack to have a real conversation with. “Why do you care?” he asks in a mocking tone, taking another swig of whatever he’d been drinking in your absence.
“I care because you were supposed to meet me at the diner.” you say and it seems to jog his memory a little because his face changes. “I’m sorry (Y/N)…” he says, and for a moment he seems like he’s winding down for the night; until he speaks again.
“Buuuut since you’re here, you can join us!” he excalims and you look around the room to see who else could possibly be here with Jack. “Us?” you question when you don’t see anyone.
“Yes, us!” he says, motioning to the various bottles of alcohol strung across the living room. “We’ve got Kinky and Karkov and UV. I know how fond you are of UV.” he slurs as he reads the labels on the bottles, stumbling through the room just to get to each one of them.
“Jack you need to settle down.” you say, making your way to the kitchen and turning down the music. “Settle down? For what?” he asks and from your spot in the kitchen you can see him unscrewing the cap of another bottle of liquor.
“No, no, no.” you mumble as you make your way over to him and pry it from his hands. “Jack why are you drinking? And where are your parents?” you ask, sitting down on the couch and clearing a few beer cans for him to join you.
His face falls and you sigh as you realize you might have just hit a nerve. “Please just talk to me.” you try again and this time he joins you. “My parents are getting a divorce.” he says softly.
His words hit you hard and before you can even process them he speaks again. “I never thought this would happen.” he mumbles just loud enough for you to hear.
“Jack I’m so sorry. Where are they now?” you ask quietly, and you’re glad he’s finally starting to chill out. “They’re out. They wanted us all to go on some stupid family dinner so they could tell Isla the news.” he spits, sitting back on the couch.
“Jesus Jack that’s terrible.” you say sympathetically. “And you wanna know the worst part?” he asks and you hesitate before telling him to go on. “They told me first. They said I would be the one to understand.” he says, his voice breaking before he could finish his sentence.
Suddenly everything began to make sense: the way Jack was acting lately, his crazy mood swings, him blowing you off. “Why didn’t you tell me?” you ask him sincerely and he chuckles before answering.
“Why would I? Your life is perfect (Y/N), you just wouldn’t understand.” Jack scoffs and for some reason this angers you. “Okay my parents aren’t divorced but so what? I would still be here for you.” you say, getting closer to him on the couch as you explain yourself.
“Why?” he asks and it completely throws you off. “I mean everyone leaves. Why do you stay?” Jack persists. “I just, I don’t know I’ve never thought about it before. We’ve been friends since birth Avery.” you laugh and he joins you before looking around for another drink.
“Jack just stop okay?” you half ask, half demand and he frowns at you before standing up to continue his search. “Jack I’m serious. I’m here now, you don’t need to do this.” you say, following closely behind him.
“You’re not my mom.” he snaps and you can’t tell if he’s joking. “What?” you ask, confusion plain on your face. You didn’t want to fight with Jack but he was making it impossible not to.
“You’re my friend. Not my mom and certainly not my girlfriend!” he yells as he turns to face you and for some reason, this comment stings. “So now me helping you has to be about us being more than friends?” you ask and at this point you’re even angrier than before.
“Whatever I think you should leave.” he scoffs, pointing to the door. “No Jack I wanna be here for you, I lo-” you start but Jack continues before you can tell him how you really feel.
“Just go okay! I don’t need your pity and I don’t need you up my ass. You think you’re so perfect? Well guess what, screw you! I don’t need you in my life!” he yells and his words pierce your heart like knives but instead of trying again, you stoop down to his level.
“You know what?! I hate you Jack Avery! I hate you!” you say but the tears make it hard for you to yell at him without breaking. You don’t take another look at him, you just run to your car and drive home, the tears stinging your eyes making it hard to find your way home but you don’t care about that. You don’t care about anything…
Not Jack, not his parents and certainly not the trouble he’ll be in when he gets caught…At least you tell yourself that you don’t care. After a few months, though, your thoughts become true.
(Y/N)’s face distorts into a frown at Jack’s words and her teeth bring in her bottom lip as she looks deeper into his eyes. “I don’t believe you.” she says and it’s impossible for Jack to even begin to know what she’s thinking.
He began to think back to when they were younger…What did (Y/N) do when she thought someone was lying? He studied her face for a moment before offering his reply.
“I wouldn’t lie to you about that.” “Well you have before.” she says softly, and even though Jack could no longer read her, he could tell she was about to cry. “Yes but I-” he starts but (Y/N) interrupts, her sorrow turning to anger.
“Just stop Jack. I’ll tutor you but you don’t have to lie to me.” she spits and he doesn’t say anything to defend himself. What else can he say?
How do you tell someone that you’ve missed them for years? That you’ve watched them every single day, just dying to know how they’re doing but too afraid to ask.
“You won’t regret this.” he says, getting up quickly and making his way to his car as (Y/N) sends him off with a small wave. Taking one final look at her, Jack started the car and headed for home, completely unaware that (Y/N) stayed out on the deck to watch him drive away.
“Okay so,” Jack says as he sits down the foot of your bed, making himself comfortable as he pulls out his science book from his backpack. You’d been tutoring him for a couple weeks now and as much as you didn’t want to admit it, you loved the time you’d spent with him and you often found yourself looking forward to your little study sessions.
The first few days weren’t easy… All you did was snap at him and even though he endured it without saying anything, a part of you felt bad and you eventually lightened up, making it easier for the both of you. What you weren’t prepared for, however, was to fall in love with him all over again; this time even quicker than the last.
“The greater the concentration of OH- ions the stronger the base?” he asks and you nod in amazement. “Yes Jack! I feel like you’re finally getting it!” you exclaim from the chair you were currently sitting in.
“Thank God because my midterm Chemistry test is tomorrow.” he groans, leaning back on the bed a bit and propping himself up on his elbow. He was still facing you but every once in a while you got the chance to steal a glance or two at the boy as he read the text book.
You liked seeing Jack like this-in “study mode”-with his hair a mess and his cheeks flushed from what you didn’t know was nervousness due to you watching him. “But that stuff is easy. This is the part I don’t get.” he says, sitting up a bit to point at a particular spot in the book.
“Here, throw me the book.” you suggest and he almost does. “Why don’t you just come over here?” he says and your heart races at the thought of being that close to him in general, let alone in your bed.
Swallowing hard, you make your way over to him and sit down next to where Jack was laying. “Okay which part?” you ask, blinking a bit to focus your attention back to the task at hand.
“The whole scale thing. How am I supposed to remember if a solution is an acid or a base by number?” he asks and you think of a way to explain something that freshman you could easily grasp.
“Well the scale is zero to fourteen, but seven is the neutral area,” you start and he nods as he watches you closely. “So anything with a pH greater than seven is a base and anything with a pH lower than seven is an acid.” you explain and he jots down some notes before turning to you again.
“Okay, okay. I need to come up with a way to remember that.” he mumbles to himself, raking a hand through his hair. “Well its not that hard. Just think of it this way,” you say, holding out your arms to resemble a horizontal line.
“Zero is here,” you make a motion with your left hand. “And fourteen is here.” you say, wiggling your right hand. “Okay,” Jack says, holding out his arms to copy you.
“A, and B.” you say as you motion your left arm and your right. “So anything A is on the left and anything B is on the right. Acid and base!” he exclaims, laughing as he mimics your gestures.
“Yes! Good!” you say happily, your hands moving to your mouth to stop your laughter. “Thanks (Y/N). That makes sense actually.” he says as he begins to put his notes away for the night.
“Yeah absolutely.” you reply, biting your lip as you watch him again. “No really. Thanks for everything.” he says as he turns to face you. “The second chance, the tutoring, all of it."
"Yeah. It hasn’t been too bad.” you joke as you stand to walk him out. “Not bad at all.” your subconscious adds and you smile to yourself as you make your way to the door with Jack right behind you.
“See you tomorrow.” Jack says before heading outside. “See you tomorrow.” you repeat as you watch him drive away, and you wonder how you ever made it without this boy.
“(Y/N)?!” your mom calls from the downstairs and you quickly stuff your books into your backpack before heading down to see what she needs. “Yes mom?” you call as you enter the kitchen, only to giggle at the sight in front of you.
“Oh my gosh!” you exclaim, bending over with laughter as your mom locks eyes with you, her entire front side covered in what was left of her smoothie. “Its not funny.” she squints and you stifle another laugh before speaking again.
“Sorry. What do you need?” you ask, trying your best not to burst into another fit of giggles. “A towel would be nice.” she replies sassily and you hurry to grab her one, giving it to her quickly upon your return.
“What happened?” you ask and she cleans the remainder of the mess as she tells you about her mess of a morning. “Well first I couldn’t find anything to wear except all this ugly white top!” she complains, gesturing to her shirt which after this morning, would definitely not be white anymore.
“And then I forgot to put the lid on the blender when I made my smoothie!” she continues as you grab an apple from the counter top and throw it in your bag. “Jeez mom. Sorry about your shirt.” you offer but she just waves you off.
“Problem solved I guess! But I can’t give you a ride today, obviously.” she states and you laugh. “That’s okay, I’m getting a ride from a friend anyway.” you reassure her and she grins widely.
“Is this friend a boy? By the name Jack Avery?” she asks and your cheeks begin to heat up. “Be quiet! Its not like that. We’re hardly even friends.” you defend, but she isn’t buying it.
“I saw the smile on your face after he left last night.” she says and your jaw drops. “You were spying on me?! Oh my gosh mom!” you exclaim and she throws her hands in the air.
“Its my motherly duty! It is also my motherly duty to inform you that there better not be anything other than tutoring going on upstairs!” she half jokes and you practically choke. “Mom, gross! Stop!” you yell but it only makes things worse.
“Come on. We’ve had the talk!” she says with a raise of her eyebrows and you’re lucky that you hear the beep of Jack’s car horn before you have the time to respond.
“Gotta go!” you hurry to the door, the smile on your face growing as you see Jack in your driveway. “Hey!” he yells from the driver’s seat as you make your way over to his car.
“Hey yourself.” you say as you buckle up and throw your backpack in the back. “How was your morning?” Jack asks and you blush as you think about the last ten minutes you spent with your mom. “Don’t ask.”
“You do know that saying that only makes me want to know more right?” he asks and you think for a moment, silence taking over the car as you debate whether or not to tell him about your conversation with your mom.
“My mom…” you trail off and Jack picks it back up. “Your mom?” he asks and you turn to look out the window. “My mom thinks we’re…together.” you say and it just now hits you that in a way you and Jack had become something along the line of more than friends in the time you’d spent together.
“Okay. Why didn’t you wanna tell me that?” he asks as he breaks his concentration from the road to look at you. “I don’t know, it’s awkward. And far from the truth.” you admit.
Jack’s face falls and you’re met with his familiar hurt expression. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-” “It’s okay.” he cuts you off and you mentally scold yourself for being so mean, even if it was unintentional.
“Anyway,” you think of ways to change the subject as Jack hums along with the radio. “Your test is today. How do you feel about it?” you ask. “Well the test is only over acids and bases and with the scale thing that you taught me, I’m pretty confident about those.” he says and you smile at the fact that your tutoring is actually working.
When Jack first proposed the idea of course you didn’t want to tutor him for obvious reasons but what you were most afraid of was that you wouldn’t even be good at it seeing as you had no prior tutoring experience.
“I’m such a good teacher.” you jokingly boast and Jack chuckles. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Quiz me!” he suggests and for the rest of the drive you shout out random numbers, laughing to yourself as Jack as taps his thumbs on either side of the steering wheel to represent the number line as he thinks of his answers.
“Not gonna lie I’m so nervous right now.” Jack admits as you walk with him to his first class of the day: Chemistry. “It’s okay to be nervous, Jack. Just don’t let it get the best of you.”
“Use it as motivation instead.” you smile at him and he nods confidently. “You’re right. Nerves are good sometimes.” he mumbles as you get closer and closer to the door.
“Ten more minutes until the bell. If you want I can stay with you and talk for a bit.” you suggest but he declines your offer. “Nah I should actually go in and use this time to study.” he says and you nod in agreement before he turns away from you.
“Hey Avery.” you call and he turns around once more. “You got this!” you say and he mouths a thank you before you both go your separate ways. As you make your way to AP English you think about Jack.
Would it really be that weird to date him? After all, most people did think you were a thing already…You brush the feelings aside and when you reach your classroom, you take your usual spot by the window.
“Alright everyone take out your copies of The Great Gatsby. Today we’re going to be discussing the relationship between Daisy and Gatsby.” your teacher says and you roll eyes before reaching for your book. You definitely didn’t want to talk about relationships right now.
“So, raise your hand if you think they are as you guys would say ‘goals’.” Mr. Robinson says in a monotone voice and you look around the room to see ninety percent of the class has their hands up.
“Interesting.” he mumbles, making a mental tally of the hands and writing it on the board. “Now, raise your hand if you think the relationship was complete garbage.” he says and your hand is the first to shoot up.
“Ah, Miss (Y/N). Would you like to share your thoughts with the class?” Mr. Robinson asks and you sigh because you know that even if you say no, you’ll be forced to share anyway.
“Sure. The relationship is lacking and almost completely one sided.” you say plainly, earning a few glares and a few nods. “What do you mean by that?” he presses and you fiddle with your pencil as you go on.
“Well its obvious that Gatsby, even though he is technically a homewrecker, has pure intentions when it comes to Daisy. I just don’t think those intentions are returned.” you say and a girl named Courtney scoffs before turning around in her desk to face you.
“Whatever! Daisy is just as much in love with Gatsby as he is for her.” she argues. “Yeah okay sure.” you say with wide eyes and she rolls her eyes before turning to face the front again.
“Please elaborate a bit more.” Mr. Robinson says and the pressure of the eyes of the class is now completely on you, everyone interested in what you have to say.
“Gatsby has everything but the one thing he wants is Daisy. Daisy has everything but she wants more and more. Gatsby loves Daisy always, and he would do anything for her if she asked.” you start and everyone seems to be surprised by your response.
“Daisy isn’t in love with him, she’s in love with the idea of him. Its completely obvious since she only comes around when she needs something.” you huff and the teacher just smiles at your response.
“Courtney, anything you’d like to add?” he asks and this time Courtney stands before sharing her opinion. “Okay so maybe Daisy is a little unclear with her feelings and maybe she is indecisive but that doesn’t make her love any less real.” she says and you begin to apply it to a real life situation.
Not just any real life situation, but your real life situation. “If Daisy really loved Gatsby, she would have told him. She wouldn’t have pushed him away when she didn’t want to deal with him!” you say and you realize now that you’re raising your voice.
“Daisy made a mistake. Everyone deserves a second chance.” Courtney says, her stance not wavering. “Well its not like if given the chance, they could go back to how things were! You can’t undo the past.” you continue and Courtney just sighs.
“You can if the person is worth it.” she says and it suddenly hits you that you’re taking this all way too personally. “Can I go to the bathroom?” you blurt out, earning an echo of laughter from the class as he nods in confusion.
Once you reach the hallway you sigh heavily before heading to the bathroom as slowly as possible. “Maybe I’m being too hard on Jack.” you think to yourself as you stare at your reflection in the mirror. Even if he did hurt you in the past, that’s what it was now, the past.
How long were you going to go before you quit fighting your feelings for him? How long could you go? A splash of cold water to the face saves you from your thoughts and you wash your hands before returning just in time for the bell.
As you zip up your backpack and head for the door Mr. Robinson stops you. “You made some valid points in the discussion today. Great job (Y/N), you really surprised me with your thoughts.” he says and you smile softly.
“Yeah. Courtney was right about one thing though.” you say and on your way out the door you answer the question going through his mind. “Everyone deserves a second chance.” And with that, you make your way to the Chemistry room.
A moment or two passes until you spot Jack’s curls in the crowd of students in the hallway and you rush over to him. You didn’t know exactly what you would say but you knew that you had to act fast.
“Jack!” you call after him and he smiles before meeting you halfway. “Hey.” he says quietly as he leans against the wall. “So how did it go?” you ask and he shrugs before reaching into his backpack and fishing out his test.
“You tell me!” he exclaims and hands you a paper with an A- written in the upper hand corner. “A minus! Oh my God Jack, way to go!” you yell happily and before you know it you’re wrapped up in a bear hug, his arms tangled up around your shoulders and yours secured around his waist.
Everything happened so fast and for a second it was pure bliss. Jack quickly pulls away from you, a string of apologies and curse words leaving his lips as he turned to walk away.
“Wait.” you say softly and he looks you in the eyes again. “I’m sorry (Y/N) I just got excited. I didn’t mean to-” Before he can finish his apology, your lips are on his.
After the initial shock wears off, he deepens the kiss and you don’t part until the ring of the school bell brings you both back to reality. “I thought you said-” “Screw what I said.” you say before leaning in to kiss him once more.
((Zombie apocalypse AU prompts because I have a mighty need.
Person A and Person B are having the time of their lives beating in undead skulls while Person C is understandably concerned for their mental health but stays anyway because they’re really good at killing zombies.
“How the flying fuck do you think this is fun if you weren’t basically a zombie killing machine I would leave your crazy ass.”
“I swear I don’t have a skin disease this is just the mother of all sunburns there is no more sunscreen left on this planet.”
Person A gets hurt severely and Person B and C mow down a hoard to get them to safety.
Bonus points if skittish Person C does the most damage through sheer devotion and impresses everyone.
“I FOUND RUNNING WATER–wait. Nevermind, it’s not water.”
“I never liked Spam but holy shit I never thought canned mystery meat would taste this good after not eating for three days.”
Person A: “You go in.” Person B: “I’m not going in, you go in.”
This goes on for several hours. Person C is beyond done and goes in instead.
Person A: “I wonder if zombies have the right idea and people taste great.” Person B: “What the fuck, man? No.” Person A: “What if we taste like bacon?” Person C: “If you make bacon out of me, I will give you food poisoning through pure spite.”
Person A, B and C all huddling for warmth by a dumpster fire full of dead zombies.
“I am armed with a shopping cart and I won’t hesitate, bitch.”
Person A actually killing zombies with a shopping cart of all things. B and C are very impressed.
“If we have to eat canned soup again, I will legitimately vomit that’s all we’ve eaten for two weeks straight