but tumblr does

lemonbird  asked:

IMPORTANT QUESTION. Vampires aren't suppose to enter a premise without being invited right? What if a hermit vampire was living in his falling apart old castle and some fuck bought it as a "fixer upper", would the vampire just glitch out on to the lawn or would he be okay since he lived there before?

Okay so this would depend on where you are in the world, and whether or not they had squatters rights (can’t be evicted and can apply for legal ownership of place once they have been there for X amount of years) but I mean, the dude owns the place, even if it is a run down mess he was still there first and there’s probably some ancient land ownership law which can’t be overwritten by modern laws (you find all sorts of weird things are still technically legal cause no one bothered to update the books since 1645) so basically whoever just bought this castle to turn it into a modern fixer upper, congrats, you also just bought yourself a vampire and he’s not going anywhere.

(Also now I kind of want to write this where a family buys it to turn it into a hotel/wedding venue and the kids find the vampire in the attic and he ends up being the weird uncle who gets roped into hilarious wedding related shenanigans?? Like 


“Okay yes fine, you can host weddings here, but registrar only, no religious ones.” 
“But Theolodious, why?”
“Really Sharon, really, do I have to spell it out for you. Really.”

*

“We really should increase the lighting for photographs, what about skylights?”
“No.”
“But—”
“How about I just set all of you on fire while you’re trying to sleep.”

*

“Please, for the love of god, please don’t let people throw confetti or rice, I’m begging you.”

*

“Okay what’s our final head count for the night?”
“107.”
“Are you sure?”
“Did I fucking stutter Steve?”

*

“Uncle Theo, why does the groom have “help me” on the bottom of his shoes, why is everyone laughing?.”
“Because small one, humanity has failed collectively as a species and heteronormativity is a constructed lie designed to oppress over half the population for not conforming to arcane and chauvinistic ideals put in place by dead scholars who have long since turned to dust and have no place influencing modern society.”
“…”
“Permanence is an illusion.”

*

“Madame, flattering as your offer is for a quickie, you’re not my type.”
“What is your type then?” ;) ;) ;)
“O negative.”

*

“Whoo, what a day, I could eat a horse.”
“Same.”
“…”
“…well obviously I’m not going to.”

*

“Theo…are you…are you crying?”
“Yes.”
“You big softie, I never thought someone like you would cry at a wedding.”
“…I’ve lived a long life, Sharron. People come and go, the christening you bless will be the funeral you mourn in less than a century. But people keep saying “I love you”, that has to count for something.”

4

You can’t tell me Qrow didn’t win Baby Ruby over by making her a rose flower crown, and sequentially turning her into his biggest adoring fan, you just can’t ok!

Sorry for being a bit inactive lately! I’ve been dealing with a lot of stuff and just needed to take a break, but I’m gonna work hard and make lots of new RWBY content if it kills me! Till next time~ ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ

lance: we should have like…a team voltron sleepover.

pidge: but we see each other all the time? and sleep in the same place? what’s the use of a sleepover?

lance: pidge…we can play truth or dare. you know what that means. 

pidge: [quietly] we can finally dare keith to show us his cryptid conspiracy blog. shit. we need to have a team voltron sleepover. 

2

she had the world || panic! at the disco

anonymous asked:

bakugou gets turned into a baby and the rest of the bakusqaud freaks out but sero's like 'wait guys i got this' and makes one of those babystrap carriers out of his own tape

edit: anon asked for the zoomed in version so here !!!!!

He knew.”
“I never told him.”
“It’s not about what you say or do. It’s not even about what you think. It’s about the way you look at someone when they’re happy, and you don’t think anyone is watching. And he saw the way you looked at him. He knew.
—  from an unfinished story #705