but tumblr decided to be a douche

People deserve to know the truth even if it will shatter them.
They deserve to know the truth.
It comes around sooner or later.
The longer you keep them in the shadows, the brighter the light hurts.
Tell the truth.
It’s not your place to decide whether or not they can handle it.
It’s not your place to decide whether or not the truth should be told.
Whatever your reason maybe, you will be a liar.
And I never use this word because I kind of detest it but well, you will also be a sinner.

Can't Help Falling In love

okay so heres the story behind this, i am naturally not the most confident person in the world but I love to sing. My great grandma inspired me to do it online and in front of people. She passed away 2 years ago and I’ve only recently carried on singing. This was our song and some douche entitled music prick at my school decided he would criticise me for only putting my music out through tumblr now and he said theres no point because I’m not good enough to preform in front of real people. this song is my response to that. you can mock me and make fun of me all you want, I’m not claiming to be an amazing singer or the next new talent, but i do want to put this douche in his place so please help me, rebloglike, dm me anything just so i can show this guy what I’ve got and that i am good enough, thank you if you read all the way to this ramble part, i love you guys bye 

if you guys want more music, please check out my blog here

Yes, I’m Autistic

It should not be my responsibility as an autistic person to constantly explain that yes, I’m autistic.

Once, I dated a girl. She told me, shortly after my diagnosis, that she didn’t want to know about autism at all. In her words, though she always pretended she didn’t say this, to know I had autism would “ruin me”.

Once, I dated another girl. I mentioned autism exactly five times around her. Trust me, I’m autistic, I counted. But she said that was too much. That I shouldn’t talk about it any more. That I should “just be me, not autistic”.

Once, I dated a third girl. I don’t think I’m exclusively into girls, for the record, though I did think that for a while, it just happens that everybody in these anecdotes is a girl. Regardless- she once asked me, while we lay in bed looking at the ceiling upon which she had lovingly hand-painted a Lovegood-esque mural, “are you sure you’re autistic and not just a bit… Broken?”.

And now, years later, I don’t date very often because frankly it’s exhausting and approximately three and a half people in the entire world are attracted to me anyway, but after a long hiatus from talking in-depth about autism on Tumblr I decided I shouldn’t have to be quiet about it any more. I shouldn’t have to think “oh, I’d better not mention I’m autistic in case somebody’s a douche about it” because it’s part of my life, it’s part of who I am, and if people are willingly signing up to an experience which involves seeing my personal thoughts then they should be prepared to learn the fuck about autism.

But guess what happens.

I post “I’m autistic” and people say “Don’t say that unless you’re autistic”.

I post “Autism makes me feel this certain way” and people say “Don’t assume you have autism, are you diagnosed?”.

I post “No literally I am autistic and was diagnosed about five years ago” and people say “I am not autistic but I met an autistic person once and are you REALLY sure you’re autistic?”.

So to repeat my original point: It should not be my responsibility as an autistic person to constantly explain that yes, I’m autistic.

It seems as though people will not be satisfied until I personally mail each and every individual who once read The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time a copy of my diagnosis forms. Failing that, I apparently should at least scrawl “YES I REALLY HAVE AUTISM” on my forehead in blue felt tip pen so everybody can be satisfied as soon as they meet me.

It seems as though people will stop at nothing to harass and police somebody who mentions in passing that they have autism, because all the ~enlightened experts~ in the world apparently don’t realise that maybe it isn’t a good idea to make an autistic person constantly explain autism.

I just want to clarify that some of them have apologised. Some of the people who sent me messages apologised, and I’m cool with them. They made the assumptions but they apologised.

Not all of them though. Especially not the three girls I spoke about once dating. Especially not one of them in particular who would, in fact, intentionally cause me to have public meltdowns so she could act like the big caring neurotypical hero for dealing with my pesky old autism while simultaneously never ever wanting me to use the fucking word.

Honestly, I’ve been calmer about this than I should have been. Even now, people will tell me I was too angry, and that I should have expressed my feelings calmly, because they’re subconsciously ableist and view an autistic person’s anger as scary and their emotions in general as weird and exaggerated whereas they’d never tell somebody without autism to be as calm as I’m expected to be. It will happen, even while I’m saying it should happen.

It shouldn’t be my job to calmly explain the entire history of my autistic life five times a week. I am not an audiobook of the Curious Incident.

Although, if you saw the stage production- wasn’t it amazing? The set was the best thing I’ve ever seen and they did such a good job of adapting the story for the stage which is so hard to do.

bewildrd  asked:

Omg,tumblr you douche. i'll send it from mobile since this seems to work. Sleep-over with tsukki,oikawa,kuroo,bokuto,noya and their crush. Would it be planned or not?would they attempt to flirt? I hope you'll get it this time :(

finally got this ask. damn you tumblr for keeping me away from such cute ask.

Tsukishima it would be both unplanned and unexpected. They probably decided to hang out and then a downpour of rain/storm would happen and the trains would stop because it was too much water everywhere and the weather broadcasting warned people to go outside. So they had to stay the night. Tsukishima wouldn’t try to flirt at all.

Oikawa would so not be planned. At least not for the crush part. Oikawa would “accidentally” lose track of time so that it would be late so they were have to stay over. He’d flirt of course but not step over any boundaries. He would let them borrow some of his clothes, and together they would watch some more movies until 2 AM where both of them fell asleep. 

Kuroo invited them over for a study session since a big test were coming up. His crush agreed and after studying for hours both of them accidentally fell asleep and when they both woke up it was way too late for them to go home. So they stayed the night and Kuroo being Kuroo, flirted of course and teased. He was considerate though and didn’t step over any lines.  

Nishinoya and Bokuto would both have planned it. They’d be the one to suggest it and would actually plan for it for a while. Both Bokuto and Nishinoya would half flirt half not. Because it was their first sleep over at their place and none of them didn’t want to make their crush uncomfortable. They would play games and laugh at memes and just have a really great time.

Bokuto: Hey ‘__’ I think you’re hOOOT *shot*


Tumblr, let’s have a chat.

If I may. The first photo you see is a message sent to me by a friend after a heated discussion on facebook. Elaboration to follow. The second picture is my son for reference. 

The Story:
So the message I was sent started like this: The girl in question (Stephanie) is someone I’ve known since high school. We used to be super close. She posted a status on facebook regarding her stance on the whole Hobby Lobby decision. She supported it and I commented to ask her why and talk about it. Like a normal human. A friend of hers (who I don’t know) began to attack me and say all kinda of stupid shit which culminated in him saying “if you can’t afford birth control, close your legs.” An obviously wonderful human. I retorted with a witty “I pray you never have a daughter, and if you ever do I weep for her.” This is what prompted her message. She said I was “insulting and attacking” a child I didn’t even know existed and therefore was justified in insulting this sweet little boy of mine. Shen then proceeded to tell me all about God’s plan like I gave a fuck.

The message itself didn’t bother me that much. Yes it got me riled, but as I said to her “I have zero respect nor do I consider the opinions of people who believe in a magical man in the clouds saying "do it or I’ll fucking spank you.” What bothered me is that some people, under the guise of Christianity, think it’s ok to attack people like that. When I had my son, I wasn’t married and the people who stopped talking to me or told me I was “ruining my life” were Christians. The people who tell me (fairly regularly) that my son won’t be allowed into heaven is because he isn’t baptized and we don’t go to church: also Christians. I am of the firm belief that people can believe whatever the fuck they wanna believe. If you want to believe that we all live in the eye of a blue eyed giant, go for it. I don’t care. But the second you take those beliefs and try and force others to abide by them, it’s a problem. Freedom of religion isn’t just for the Christians or the Catholics or what have you. It extends to Jews, Muslims and *gasp* even Atheists! Jesus doesn’t corner the market on religious freedom. Take a minute on that one.

Now we’re back to the whole Hobby Lobby decision. As a medical professional, not to mention a woman, I’m enraged. This sets us back by decades and sets a dangerous precedent. What’s to stop companies run by Jehovah’s Witnesses to start denying blood transfusions? Or a company run by Christian Scientists to deny life saving measures? 

“You can just get a new job!”

“Go pay for health insurance that covers what you want!”

“Companies have rights too!”

“If you can’t afford birth control, close your legs!”

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. And fuck you. Or to expand on that:

“You can just get a new job!” Oh really? Just like that? Can you find me another full time job with a benefits package before my prescription runs out and I have to pay out of pocket for it? Since most jobs require 90 days before benefits kick in, I doubt it. 

“Go pay for health insurance that covers what you want!” Are you fucking kidding me? Do you have any idea how much individual coverage costs? The whole point of having a job with benefits is so I don’t have to pay $400 a month for it on my own. If the health insurance company itself will cover it, what business is it of my employer to tell me what I can and cannot get? And for that matter, why are the still covering Viagra and penis pumps and not the pill? Oh right, cuz the SCOTUS is full of penises.

“Companies have rights too!” If you’ve actually said that, you’re an asshole. Companies have the right do business as they see fit. Period. End of story. They do not have the right to have any say in what happens in my fucking uterus. In the immortal words of Rachel Greene “No uterus, no opinion.”

“If you can’t afford birth control, close your legs!" I just….I can’t….I don’t even know where to start. Point one: birth control is not always prescribed to stop pregnancy. A lot of times it’s given to control the incredibly painful symptoms of PCOS or endometriosis. For some women, it’s the only way to actually lead a normal life. And say one of those women happens to share all the beliefs of a company like this. She believes what they believe but she’s still screwed and going to have to deal. Point two: I know a TON of people (many here on tumblr) who are grown, mature adults in committed relationships who don’t want children. Not because they aren’t ready, but because they’ve made the conscious decision that motherhood is not for them. What do we tell them? "Suck for you, don’t have sex ever again.” I say again “No uterus, no opinion.”

If you have been offended by any of the previous statements or actually think a bunch of penis-having douche bags should be able to decide on women’s reproductive rights, by all means unfollow me. You won’t be missed.

Oh and also fuck you my child is adorable as fuck.

Here endeth the rant.

angelmonstercat-deactivated2015  asked:

You are amazing!!! How did you become such a great artist? I started taking drawing classes and I'm really bad, but seeing people like you do this things amazes me so much. Can you give any advice?

Lol sure, and hmm lets see.

The first thing I’d say is “Neutrality” I don’t think about if I’m good or bad or compare myself to anyone else. I measure my progress based on last years images. Emotional neutrality is also vital. If people always say your good (and this is an easy trap to fall into early on)… you become complacent. If you constantly hear that your bad, then you’ll keep putting yourself down. There are exceptions to this rule but I’ve found neutrality to be extremely important. Neutrality is also an implication for physical health as well. Sleep on time to be productive, dont fall prey to the young egomaniac artists “Dude! I just drew for 30 hours straight!” who dont then tell you how much time they wasted sleeping afterwards. Eat properly so that you wont get sleepy early on, dont eat too much. And work out! And take drawing breaks every so often and stretch your hands and back, unless you wanna risk some injury. This is important because if you dig deeply into the root of “art block” it’s not an actual thing. The human mind produces 100’s of thousands of ideas and thoughts each day, but it’s the emotional and physical instability that causes us to feel “Art block.” (as well as lack of objective skills)

2. Condensation of Time: Actually this point is the problem I had until like 72 hours ago. Improving in art is largely due to “mileage.” So if person A draws for 2 hours per day, and person B draws for 8 hours per day, after 3 months, Person B will be lightyears ahead. This explains why you’ll hear older veteran-aged artists say things like “I drew for almost 30 years”… but their OBJECTIVE SKILL SET isn’t on par with a young egomaniac who just draws all day in his basement. What the old guy isn’t telling you is that he really means that he drew for maybe 2 hours per day for the last 30 years. So In maybe 5 years, the egomaniac will have surpassed him, in terms of OBJECTIVE SKILL, because he’s drawing maybe 12 hours per day.

So for me, I use to draw maybe a couple hours everyday and some months I didn’t draw at all lol, so now that I can draw all day long, I’m expecting my skill set to exponentially increase by next year :3 

3. Objective Skill: Objective skills are things that can be quantified. If person A draws a hand and person B draws a hand, you can determine which hand is structurally better. It’s not a subjective matter. This should not be confused with “realist” artists, who don’t usually rely on the same fundamental skills like perspective, lighting and anatomy. The more you can master these core basics (which takes decades to master…) then the easier it is to see things on paper and to do more dynamic art from your mind. Sometimes when I say “I dont know what to draw today” it really means that i TRIED to draw the thing, but it turned out horrendously different. And that’s because maybe I couldn’t figure out the perspective or how the arm is suppose to look or something.

4. Be cautious of the art world… ESPECIALLY  a lot of professionals. Be careful about whose selling you a useless product that you could’ve just picked up on by mileage alone. Be careful of random people responding to tumblr questions with long essays… be careful of “Art communities”… be careful of trends… be careful of “ideas”… “mainstream”… be a skeptic in all things. Don’t follow the herd. Be an artistic Heretic. Be careful whose professional butt you decide to kiss, because that jerk may end up being the most epic douche in the world, no matter how nice he seemed initially. Artists tend to have a weird ego complex sometimes. Be angry and break the rules! Follow your artistic heart and figure out what makes you happy in all things. Never do work for free. Ever. Make it a point to often piss the elite aristocratic tiers off. Shake them up, make them tremble. FIGHT THE POWER!

5. Inspiration: Inspiration comes from everywhere. Read a lot of books, comics, play a lot of games, watch tons of movies and most importantly go outside and use your 5 senses. Experience, touch, listen, emotionally feel… so on. Then you’ll have tons of new ideas every day that your little sticky note on the side of your screen will have over 1000 things -_-. 

6. Steal information with your eyes: The “great masters” learned how to do art by copying their masters. That’s traditionally how people passed on information without the internet. It is STILL a very valid tool. Copy great masters.. copy your favorite manga… comics… movie stills.. etc. Copying is thee fastest way to improve. You cant draw what you dont know afterall, and copying is like a short cut to understand things (but not an excuse to study from life). Copy people you hate. Copy people you love. Copy artists from all range and cultures, sizes, etc. 

7. Set a time limit. Balance the yin and yang of studies. If you study something too long, you’ll understand it’s details, but if you study something quickly, you’ll understand it’s essence. So use both, and find your balance. Typically for me, a study is like an hour… but I have smaller studies for different topics that are like 5-10 minutes, sometimes 15. 

8. Set goals for yourself. Earlier i mentioned I dont think about whether im good or bad, and thats because im mostly concerned with finishing goals. Because, for example, i know that after I studied 10,000 paintings, I’m sure I’ll be better than I was 3 years ago or whatever.  

9. And lastly, I guess, be open-minded. Try not to think about art… or listen to things… Make sure your teacup is empty at all times lol. I think that really helped me learn things quick, because I wouldn’t latch onto one opinion. Learn what you can, then move on. Be Like a sponge. 

Hope that helps :3 good luck :3 thanks for the message 

Oh yeah, and remember to be a nice person!. Not everyone is making art for the same reasons. :) 

I support and am involved in the True Crime tag. I haven’t said it clearly, but I refuse to stay silent when my friends are being harassed and threatened for their interests. And Columbiners, they’re literally some of the biggest anti-bullying tags on tumblr and they also are big on discouraging jokes on mental illness. Yes, they want to know everything about E+D and learn about what happened on that tragic day and the events leading up to it and the events afterwards. No, they do not condone their actions. These people are aspiring to become psychologists and criminologists so they can help people like Eric, Dylan, and other school shooters and prevent things like Sandy Hook and Columbine and VT from happening. Yes, there are inside jokes, but never are they about the lives that were lost or the victims. It’s harmless fun, you nor anyone else is getting hurt. Nobody is in danger. I have been in a chat room for about an hour and a half talking to people involved in these tags and they are the nicest people I’ve ever met on tumblr. They get what it’s like to be bullied, especially now since all of tumblr has decided to go against them and bully them even more. So what if they think a criminal is attractive? You can say the same thing about the biggest douche bag in the world because, they’re just looks. Nobody is saying what these people did was right, nobody is saying hateful things about the victims, and if they are, they are a misrepresentation of what these tags are and you’re just generalizing us all which isn’t fair. We are all individual people, with our own ideals, morals, and beliefs. We see the crime committed from every point of view from the victim, to society, to the criminal. We are not “potential murderers”, we are potential psychologists and criminologists. 

If you want to hate me for it, fine. If you want to unfollow me for it, go ahead. But I refuse to stay silent and let uneducated people harass these bloggers.