but this show is really important to me

I have spent many fortnights trying to delete the pain like a really bad poem I never meant to type up, you are the only one that has showed up everyday without my asking. Time after time, I have cried about it. I don’t cry anymore, but you’re right, it still hurts. Love has to hurt us in order for us to recognize all that we’ve done– and maybe it wasn’t about her. The essence of who she was to me, I think that’s the most important part. You see I have a strange philosophy, I don’t think you really fall out of love with anyone. The last woman I have shared this theory to, she laughed at me. She never even let me explain, so I don’t share my intimate and close thoughts with people anymore. Not like that at least. The thing is this. You don’t act a certain way because it used to hurt someone. You are self-destructive, but you recognize it. When you fall in love and it’s reciprocated– it’s like a whole new universe imploded into being. It’s like drinking poison and knowing you’ll survive it. I have tried to write about other things, I’ve come to a simple conclusion. Love is and will always be the only thing worth writing about. Choosing different professions, but staying because of one simple factor: you love your work. Love. It’s the most qualified aspect of humans, we didn’t become the dominating species on this planet because we were stronger, we became so because we felt the pain of losing a loved one. The fact that we can overload our whole being with emotions, that makes us powerful. We’re like supercomputers that truly only understands the need to feel love and to be loved. Our 1s and 0s, our xoxoxo’s. I think about you from time to time, I try not to write about you. I want to ask you about the times when you promise to never leave and how I believed you. There is no greater progress than heartbreak. Give a woman a broken heart and she’ll be more powerful than anything manmade after she has pulled through. Give a man a broken heart and he’ll never be the same after the trigger is pulled. They may search forever, but if happiness calls for it. I’ll do my time, I’ll find peace within my pieces that I’ve given away. There’s so much more to us than how we are seen by the people who couldn’t put up with us anymore. The foundation of love starts with the self. All things shall pass given enough time, the people who needs us, the people who wants us, the people who adds to our core values, and the person we need to survive the suffering– the story doesn’t end because of a bad year, the story doesn’t end because your heart hasn’t fully healed. Our greatest weapon, the brain– it can be quite the bitch. You may be having the best day of your life, but a familiar smell can trigger you. The cologne he always put on right before dinner, although you both never went to anywhere fancy. He wanted to smell nice around you. The perfume she always wore before bed, I just want you to remember how I smell just in case you mess me while I’m at work. Our memories are linked to all of our senses, how else can we remember so much? The subtleties of us– these are the things that I still love about you even if you’re not the person that I call when I wake up. The person that you talk to right before you fall asleep will always change, but the feelings will stay the same. If you’re into video games, love is always the final boss. Instead of beating it, you’re always sitting there on top the roof of the tallest building throwing our paper planes with our favorite poems. Your favorite things inside of one smile, how lips can change for each emotion. You’re not in this part of my life, but you’re still altering my decisions. It’s weird to be attached to people, I try not to. It’s within my nature to cling, so I would rather be alone. It’s within my heart to love, so I don’t go out much. It’s said that we have soulmates scattered all over the planet, I wonder how many times we’ll have to say goodbye until the timing’s right. Your birthday is coming up in two months, I want to call, but I really shouldn’t. I shouldn’t be texting you or writing about you, but there’s a part of me that can’t let go and that’s a thing I’ll have to write out. I’m happy that you’re happy, I truly am. He’ll give you the universe inside of a universe– I could never give that to you. I just wish you supported me more. I put people on high pedestals, you’re right. We’re just human. I love with a permanent third degree burn, I lose my cool when things don’t go as planned. Almost a whole two years and I’m still writing about you. What a shame, what a shame. I’m still a letdown. I’m happy about meeting you though, because without you. I wouldn’t be who I am today. Without my mistakes, I can’t be better. I was never taught how to love, so I love until my heart breaks and then I love some more. Maybe I’ve got a problem, but it doesn’t matter. The only thing that does is I have an outlet. Who could’ve known that writing poetry would be helpful? I didn’t even know how to write a poem prior to saying I love you. You changed my ways for the better. I am flawed, but I could’ve been way worse if it wasn’t for you. I still ponder, but it’s alright. Things don’t last forever, I am less naive. People can choose to leave, I no longer bleed when my thoughts say that I should. These days I keep it short, if you bring up love, I’m out. Scared to fall in love, let’s just be friends. My soul is heavy, I keep my personality light. They say that we are all of the people we’ve ever loved. A most loved piece from everyone– a collection of good habits from my exes, I am the x on the treasure map. I should have treated you better turns into I won’t treat the next one like that. I shouldn’t write anymore love poems, I don’t know what it feels like anymore– yet I still write. They always ask how I’m able to write such words? These days I’m less myself and more of someone else. The more I think I got it figured out, the more I realize I don’t have shit figured out. It’s not poetry, it’s just an honest love letter. It’s not love, it’s just another way to not hate yourself. It’s not pain, it’s just another thing to get over. I didn’t have depression before I met you, but after you it all makes sense. The story doesn’t end with you, it ends with me. The story has more than one chapter, you’re just a page I need to rip out. It’s okay to remember, it’s not okay to long for emotions that are no longer there. Maybe one day I’ll forget about you, maybe one day I’ll be over you. It ends someday, ya know? I’m just waiting for things to pass and for things to last. I’m sorry that I can’t give the world to you. I’m sorry that I hurt you. I’m sorry that we’re just friends. I’m sorry that it didn’t work. I’m sorry that I said those words to you. I’m sorry that I never wrote anything for you. I’m sorry about not visiting anymore– you’re getting way attached and I can’t break your heart like that. I’m sorry that you’re waiting for me, it’ll all make sense some day. I’m sorry that you cried for nothing. I’m sorry, I’m not that guy. I’m just a simple poet with simple words. The story thus far is not pretty, but it will end beautifully.
—  The story thus far
2

One of the writers, Kevin Fox, was telling me, “Just wait. In a few episodes, it’s going to turn.” I never really took it to heart because to me it was much more important that Mariska was coming to me and saying that I was doing well and that they were giving me more episodes. That really meant a lot to me. It was my first TV show, but I’ve also done a lot of plays and I’ve been panned in plays, but you don’t let it affect you. You can’t get bogged down in that. You have to bet on yourself, bet that what you’re doing is good. Even if that turns out not to be good, at least you know that you did what you wanted to do and you didn’t let somebody’s opinion of you guide you. 

Peter Scanavino discussing how he handled the initial negative fan reaction to Sonny Carisi (x)

Important Announcement Regarding Wakfu Liveblog and the Future

I need to level with you guys. I’m enjoying Wakfu the show. Very much, in fact. But I am not enjoying liveblogging it. I’m sitting here this morning without a single speck of an urge to liveblog the next episode. I want to watch it on my own time, sure, but liveblogging? No.

I find that I really do need a lot of depth and plot and intriguing characters to make liveblogging fun for me. Wakfu is… too episodic, too simple. I mean, early Steven Universe at least had tangible, ongoing mysteries to cling to early on. Wakfu has nothing except the promise that stuff will be interesting when the protagonists get to Oma Island, and who knows when that will be?

And to put it bluntly, I don’t want to spend the next two and a half months chewing through a majority of fluffy episodic stuff to get to content that would make liveblogging enjoyable to me. My willpower would be sucked out of my body day by day, I feel. And when I feel like shit, the quality of the blog suffers too. It won’t be fun to read to anyone.

I know a lot of people voted to see me liveblog this show, and I sincerely apologize to all who did. But at the end of the day, this is my blog, I decide where I take it, and everyone who reads it is just here for the ride, polls be damned. That’s how this has worked since Day 1. Please take solace in the fact that you’ve made at least one new fan of the show, however– And through me, some other people have discovered the show too.

I’m not going to liveblog Wakfu anymore. I’m going to watch it on my own time from here on.

Tomorrow, at the usual liveblog time, I will be creating and sharing a new poll where you can vote on what I liveblog next. This poll will last three days, starting from when it is posted.

So yes… I hope you guys see where I’m coming from. To reiterate, I do like Wakfu and will continue watching it. But for me, it’s unbloggable. That’s a word now.

3

“Here come sit with me. Selene you were right all along about Kelsey and I tried my hardest not to believe you. I liked her because of her looks, not the more important things. Like personality, and I was wrong for that. The night that we hooked up showed her true colors, not that what we did was right, but it was kind of a blessing in disguise. It made me realize who I really need to be with?” 

She looked over at me with wide eyes,

“And who would that be?” 

anonymous asked:

I want to reach out to you and tell you how fucking important you are to me, and how I am so god damn grateful for what you've done just for me but. I just can't. I don't know how to show my true emotions and I'm afraid that you're being torn apart by this as well. I'm really, really sorry

Posts are getting eaten

I forgot to mention it here but last week I told Frank how important it was to me that he come back into town during the weekend while my nieces and brother in law are here. I know I posted a picture of the flowers he sent me but it isn’t showing up. Ugh… anyways, I explained it wasn’t him missing the lake that was so disappointing, I really want him to get to know Ryan and the girls. He immediately said he would come back. Since he is on orders, there is a 250 mile travel limit. It is 260 miles (one way) but he is just telling them the suburb that’s 10 miles closer. I really appreciate him making the effort. That’s why the flowers were so sweet, he is already doing everything he can to be here as much as he can.

anonymous asked:

hi, I'm infp and have some kind of understanding problems with my intp best friend (we're both girls btw). I know that intps usually aren't v emotional and so on, but how can I show her that she's important to me? How do I make her feel loved and appreciated when she feels down?

INTP’s have pretty big egos but always suspect that all compliments they receive are insincere so it’s kinda like a double edged sword. If you wanna shower them with affection and all that niceness, you’re gonna have to catch them at their all time low (or just really low) (lower than usual) but it’s sort of hard to do that unless they personally come up to you and start talking about self deprecation. If they do that, already they see you as someone who could make them happy and trust that your kindness towards them is pretty darn real. So if your INTP comes up to you with problems, chances are is that you already make them feel loved even if you aren’t meaning to.

2

The Baudelaire’s refusal to be grateful for their unfortunate events seemed like such a good message for kids - so I made a thing.

Why the SPN mixtape scene from 12x19 is screenwriting gold, and should be taught to the next generations of screenwriters everywhere - analysis

20 seconds. Two lines of dialogue, three gestures, a couple more camera angles. Episode 19, season 12 of a genre TV show “Supernatural”. A single strike of screenwriting and cinematic genius. The mixtape scene.

Robert Berens and Meredith Glynn, I bow before you.

This scene should be used as an example for future screenwriters how you can put maximum of meaning into minimal time and dialogue. Should be analyzed and taught at universities everywhere, how to achieve the most using the least. How to write for TV, where you only have less than an hour to built something spectacular.

WOW.

Let’s just peel off all the layers of these 20 seconds of footage and these 13 words. 13 WORDS.

(Cas knocks, Dean doesn’t say anything. Cas opens the door, apologizes for disturbing Dean in his room, and then takes a cassette tape out of his left inside coat pocket, and puts it on the desk, while tapping the label on it that says “Deans (sic!) top 13 Zepp traxx”.)

Cas: Um, I just wanted to return this.

Dean: It’s a gift. You keep those.

13 tracks. 13 words. The future. So number thirteen is important for the future. I mean, are you trying to tell us something here, writers?

(Dean takes the tape, oustreches his arm, and gives it back to Cas. We see Cas’ hand grabbing the tape, and taking it back.)

That tiny scene is ENORMOUS from the perspective of the narrative and the characterization. Let’s see what we can get out of it. (Prepare yourself: it’s gonna be long. Damn, how much meta can you write based on 20 seconds of television and two lines of dialogue?) (Hint: A lot.)

Keep reading

7

“The hair thing is so emotional for me. About a year ago, I called my colorist and was like, “I’m going through so much emotionally. I need a reset. I need you to bleach my hair.” This has been really important for me, as a 27- and 28-year-old, to show myself every morning when I get up that I’m not someone who is going to live in the past. When it’s time for Neon Hayley to come back to life, she will. But right now, this is me.”

You know whats the most important thing to me in Wanted? They showed lars having a panic attack.

There is really shitty representation of mental illness, even something as common as panic attacks. Media portrays people with anxiety as weak, scared, not strong enough. And Lars voices this throughout the episodes. Steven saying it’s okay to be scared was also huge. One thing I learned in therapy is panic attacks are normal, they’re just your body’s response to fear. Even in the last Steven bomb we see Lars doesn’t go to the potluck because he’s anxious about it.

And seeing this represented accurately, heavy breathing, twitchiness, feeling weak, powerless, I can’t tell you how much this one moment, and the over all arc meant to me.

anonymous asked:

You do threaten me though. Your existence threatens my world because you exist in a grey area. You dye your hair unnatural colours and stretch out your earlobes to show that you do not conform, but all I feel when I see pictures of you is fear. Because you pretend to be tiny and cute but who you truly are...well, it doesn't exist, so you are not supposed to be who you are, and I am terrified by that. Do you think you are so important that people must pluralize your pronoun?

Okay, I hear you. So I don’t think you have any reason to be afraid of me– you can’t really control how you feel, but you can control how you think, so I’m going to try to reason with you point by point and let you know why I don’t think you should be afraid of me. All that I ask is that you read this with an open mind.

- I don’t dye my hair or stretch my ears as some sort of exercise of non-conformity– I just like the way it looks. It isn’t even really an act of non-conformity because the society, that I live in permits that type of self-expression– it’s allowed. I’m not breaking the law or anything.

- I really don’t know what to make of you suggesting that who I am doesn’t exist, or that I am something that I am not supposed to be. I don’t particularly believe in any sort of creator so I don’t know who exactly would be the authority on what I’m “supposed to be,” but I really don’t think that you’re the authority on who I should or shouldn’t be, because we’ve never met. Also, you claim that what I am doesn’t exist, but I really think you should tell that to all of the terrifying, like-minded people in my inbox that are asking me if it’s okay to express themselves the way that they want to. They’re afraid to act on their feelings, or in other words: they’re afraid to be themselves. I personally don’t think that there’s anything scary about them.

- Self-importance is kind of tough for any individual to avoid, because we can only really experience life in our own shoes. We have to prioritize ourselves to some extent or else we won’t take care of ourselves– which is exactly what I’m trying to do. So yeah, I guess I do think I’m kind of important… at least important enough to try and give myself as good of a life as I can, but I don’t really think that’s abnormal. I like to be referred to a specific way, because that’s what’s most comfortable for me. You wouldn’t want someone to call you the wrong name; I don’t want someone to refer to me using the wrong pronouns (Quick sidenote: when referring to a shadowy figure whose identity is concealed by a cloak and a mask you would describe their actions by saying something like “they reached for the doorknob,” because their gender is indeterminate; therefore, singular they/them pronouns exist).

Look, the main thing to focus on is that I really don’t mean you any harm– I truly don’t! I hope that you can go on to live a happy life. I just couldn’t leave this, because historically, nothing good ever comes from this kind of fear.

in light of this tumblr “safe” mode, i want to talk about my own experience with this website. im almost 19 now and i joined tumblr when i was 14. here are some details of how tumblr was a part of my journey as a lesbian:

  • i literally discovered that im gay from tumblr. it’s a kinda cheesy story but i was 14 and on tumblr on a sideblog of someone i followed that was dedicated to pictures for her future wife. i was 50 pages into looking at lesbian wedding photos when i realized that straight people don’t Do That
  • the first person i came out to was via tumblr. i told my best friend at the time who i met on here through the “fan mail” we had then and i was sobbing typing out the message. receiving her support and having someone outside of my town to talk to about it (who was also struggling with her sexuality) meant the world to me 
  • i first learned about lgbt history and activism through tumblr. it’s the reason i became interested and invested in social justice and obviously this education continued way beyond tumblr but it gave me my start coming from a school that, like many other high schools, erased the existence of gay people in its curriculum.
  • it introduced me to almost ALL of the gay content that i consumed. the tv shows, movies, books, singers, webcomics, etc that’s had gay representation that’s helped me come to terms with my sexuality over the years, I almost solely found through tumblr. 
  • most importantly, it gave me gay friends. im from a conservative town in florida and before my first year at college this year, i had no means of making gay friends or really any friends at all (because i was hated as an out lesbian in my town) in person. I’ve made so many gay friends on here who were INSTRUMENTAL in me accepting myself and still are so important to me to this day

im 18 now but all of the things listed above happened when i was ages 14-17. i know that this website is awful at times but for gay youth who are completely isolated from any sort of lgbt community, it can be really REALLY important. @staff you’re not protecting anybody, you’re literally harming gay youth and you need to fix this shit now.  

hey so why are sapphires pretty much nobility but rubies are cheap disposable foot soldiers when they’re the Same Damn Stone

Amajiki is so important. Having a heroic character with anxiety is so important. Having a heroic character who voices his concerns and gets overwhelmingly anxious during hero activity is so important. Having a heroic character who is terrified of dying is so important. Having a heroic character cope with all of this and then show their immense bravery by putting themselves first to take the brunt of an attack is so important. 

unpopular opinion on malec 2x12.

I know you are all mad about the malec reunion being too short but it was really well done. Magnus went through a lot of pain and all of you care about it’s if Alec touched him or not. Maybe Alec was afraid to touch him because he thought Magnus was still in shock for what had happened. You can se how he sits slowly next to him to show him that he is there for him but keeping his distance to not overwhelm Magnus. And the “Magnus tell me how to fix this” scene line was SO DAMN important because he wanted to make Magnus feel better and safe but he didn’t know how.

This shows how Malec is more realistic than Climon so stop complaining for everything. Bye.

An Important Note About Journal 3 Blacklight Ink

Hey guys! Due to the whims of fate and Amazon, I got my special edition blacklight Journal 3 ahead of schedule. I haven’t read the whole thing yet, but it’s really fantastic–full of new details and hidden messages, and the construction is loads better than the regular edition!

However, the way the blacklight ink works threw me off for a minute so I want everyone to be prepared for what to expect! It’s not like in the show where the images are clear as soon as you shine a uv light on them. You need to hold your light over an area with blacklight ink for about 5-10 seconds so it can absorb the light. Then move your light away and the ink will glow brightly in the dark. It’s a really great effect but it isn’t immediately visible which can be confusing at first.

Have fun everyone!

The Get Down was such an important show to me because it portrayed that even if you are brown and come up from nothing​ you an still be something. Dizzee’s bi rep was important to me as a fellow bisexual because it just shows that, yes we do exist. The relationship between Mylene, Regina, and Yolanda showed that women build women. Strong female relationships are so scarce in this age of t.v and film. The Get Down also had the most fire soundtracks I’ve ever heard. I love TGD with all my heart and even though it’s not likely it will come back I really love the community it has built and what it has taught me.

NRK livestream: TRANSLATED, HENRIK!

translated by @maksisskambackwards and @linneaxskam and me :) 

Host: Hi, welcome!

Henrik: *introduces himself with a handshake*

Host: You have a really firm handshake.

Henrik: I’ve got a kinda clammy hand, I’m walking around with a double jacket.

Host: Yeah, but you look really cool though.

Henrik: Thanks. Likewise.

Host: Skam is over now.

Henrik: It is.

Host: Fy søren…what are your thoughts on that?

Henrik: Fy søren…Or fy faen?

Host: fy, fy faen… what are your thoughts on that?

Henrik: It’s kinda bittersweet. If you get what I mean. Because it’s something that largely belongs to being young, so it’s fun to be able to go into the adult life finally, because I’m a little older than the rest of the cast. So I feel like I can finally become an adult and start taking some responsibility.

Host: What are you gonna do now that you’re an adult then?

Henrik: I’ll probably start studying and stuff.

Host: Must all grown ups study?

Henrik: Not at all, but in my occupation one really wants to learn techniques and gain some experience.

Keep reading

I really appreciate that even though Kara was in a terrible situation, she still answered the phone when Lena called the first time. She could have just as easily let the call go to voicemail (she had every right to do so) but instead she picked up the phone and told Lena that it wasn’t a good time and that she would call her back. Kara’s going through so much in this scene and she feels awful but she still answers the phone instead of ignoring Lena because she’s an extremely caring person and she doesn’t want Lena to feel brushed off. It was a subtle but important way of showing how well Kara knows Lena and I just thought it was a good moment.