but this seemed funny at the time

youtube

Yo this video is so hilarious I’ve been watching it at least five times a day for a week now and I’m yelling every time because it’s so funny (I’m not an EXO-L but I low-key want to join because of all the jokes this fandom has. Also y'all seem chill af)

TalesFromYourServer: "I'm EXTREMELY allergic to ginger!"

This said to me by a regular customer who I’ve seen here at least a dozen times, who often orders our homemade gyoza, which has…dun dun duuuun…ginger. He’s never mentioned this very extreme allergy to me before.

Naturally I inform him our gyoza has ginger in it. He seems nonplussed because he didn’t order the gyoza (this time) but thanks me.

Then he orders a ginger ale.

By: MilkPudding

Confession:  really am starting to be wary of Black women in discussions about abuse/assault of black Men. Cuz while a lot of them act respectfully, it seems to me like the average person comes onto these posts and feels like, cuz it’s about dudes, all the rules when talking about abuse and assault seems to fly out the window. A black dude getting beat by his girlfriend is funny. Little black boys being sexually abused by black women is their own fault for being stupid and not realizing they were being assaulted (and here I thought abusers were crafty enough to make their victims believe they weren’t being victimized).

And what kills me the most is that, a lot of times on this site specifically, these discussions are prompted by Black women who then don’t check their sisters for the things they’re saying. I 100% believe toxic masculinity is one of the biggest issues in black communities, but I’m starting to think black women shouldn’t say anything unless they’re talking about how it affects black women and girls in particular. Like, we have to be respectful when we’re talking about their issues, and when some of us aren’t, we’re supposed to call them out. I just feel like they should do the same.

Sidlink Week Day 4: Promises

“Do you promise?”

Link was the kind of person who made promises easily. Actually keeping them wasn’t as easy. As much as he hated to break a promise, sometimes he couldn’t help it. Unfortunately, a lot of the promises he’d broken were the ones he’d with Prince Sidon.

“Promise you’ll be careful.”

That was a promise he usually ended up forgetting, despite the fact Sidon said that to him whenever they parted. Usually he’d be halfway through some kind of intense battle or hanging onto the side of a cliff during a thunderstorm when the words would ring through his head. And then he would think of how the prince would definitely scold him when they met up again.

“Promise you won’t do anything reckless.”

Link thought it was almost funny how he always seemed to remember those small promises right when he was breaking them. He recalled a time when he promised Sidon he wouldn’t do anything reckless. He also remembered that he’d had the sudden urge to get some shock arrows, but since he didn’t have the funds, he decided to just go fight a Lynel.

He remembered their promise at the same moment he was getting shock arrows shot at him.

“Promise me you’ll come back to me.”

Link liked to make that promise. He liked to come back to Sidon whenever he was feeling stressed or tired. He liked to tell Sidon about the crazy stuff he’d done while they were apart. He didn’t like the part where he got scolded, but Sidon always forgave him. Link would always keep that promise no matter what because he loved going to see Sidon. He loved swimming with him, talking with him, being with him. Link loved him. So with that promise, he could always agree, without hesitation. So whenever Sidon asked him, he could easily say “I promise.”

good intentions, bad intuition

for @thinkoutsidethelovesquare​ month I got the chance to remix @alya-bug​‘s work, and Misunderstanding was just too cute and too funny! I couldn’t resist remixing it with ninoir. I hope you like it!!! <3

on ao3

Words: 3419

Nino was no stranger to nighttime visits from Chat Noir. Chat had an ego that loved to be stoked by his favorite fan. It was nice, truth be told, and he wasn’t looking to complain; they’d spill their frustrations to each other, or talk about the weather, or listen to music, or just chill out. Lately, however, Chat seemed to be coming by all the time, and Nino was starting to form his own suspicions…

The final piece fell into place when one of Chat’s usual rants about an argument he’d had with his father was cut short by a loud rumble. Chat hugged his stomach and grinned sheepishly at Nino. “Sorry. I haven’t eaten yet today.”

“Dude, it’s three in the afternoon,” Nino said.

“It’s Saturday!” Chat protested.

Keep reading

TalesFromRetail: You can look but you can't buy!

Story time. Hardware store. I sell paint and propaint accessories.

C=customer, actually an all right person as far as I can tell.

C: shows me a screenshot of our online flyer of a lawnmower Can you look this up for me? I’d like to buy one.

Me: Sure thing!

I enter the SKU, but clearly he isn’t trying to buy ceramic tiling… Try entering it again.

Me: Sorry sir it doesn’t seem to be working! Can I look at the photo again?

C: I don’t know why it wouldn’t work, that’s why I came in. I also want to buy [item].

Now a screenshot of our website. I look through our physical flyer and can’t find either items but I do realize that the first screenshotted flyer didn’t look the same as our physical one.

Me: Ok so this second [item] is discontinued and I think I know what the problem is with the lawnmower. It doesn’t seem to be from our province but from [part of the country that doesn’t get along with the rest of us]. I’m sorry I can’t help.

C: Okay so how much will it be? I had trouble with your website.

…?

Me: Sir, the item is discontinued so we don’t sell it anymore. You can try [competitor] though, I know they sell a similar model! As for the lawnmower we aren’t able to sell that model here.

C: Why can’t you sell it to me?

Me: Because it is 700km away.

C: But it’s on sale, I want to buy it.

Me: You tried buying it online, right? But couldn’t?

C: Yeah…

Me: I can’t buy it online for you either, it doesn’t exist in my computer. We have similar models, but I don’t think the other store would be willing to deliver it across country.

My manager showed up and repeated the same thing, poor dude was still a bit confused when he left.

Tldr; you can look but you can’t buy.

By: boringoldcookie

WHY YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOUR SIGN
  • Aries: You play all the time, and you play to win. You are a cheerful and a happy person but god help the ones who do you wrong or the ones you love. You know how to party and you know how to have fun. You always give great compliments. You have a great body and great physical looks. Your smile is sexy and your laughter is even sexier. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Taurus: You have an impeccable taste for literally everything, you are the biggest hedonist out there and you simply know how to live. And you love life itself which comes in many forms. You have a cheerful spirit, intriguing mentality and even a greater heart. You are capable of putting up with so much shit and staying sane, haters can just stay jealous. You have the power to crack the earth in two when you witness negativity and you will. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Gemini: Your intelligence, style and communication skills know no borders. You are always the funny one, and even while some people might think that you're a drama queen or a double-faced attention whore, you just know that it isn't true. And you don't fight them but you let them learn it themselves that you're not a double-faced backstabber who hurts people for fun. You just love supporting people and making their lives better. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Cancer: You are literally one of the sweetest experiences one could ever have. You can teach people a lot, and you can stay strong through a lot of shit in your life. You are pure, innocent, loving and caring. You give the best hugs out there and you know how to satisfy people. You are full of positivity and you always put people's needs before yours. You can stand up and keep an insanely happy face even you're being torn apart inside. You are strong and you are one of the most sensitive people out there, which makes you really strong. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.|
  • Leo: You have this cheerful spirit and you radiate with alluring energy. People might accuse you of wanting to be the center of attention but you deserve to be the center of attention because you are special and you know what you're capable of. You just want to assure people that you're a person who's capable of many things and you can lead yourself and people to greatness. You are a natural born supporter and you simply know how to make people's lives better. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Virgo: You are really a person who's great in many spheres of life. You're deep. People might accuse you of being overcritical and a perfectionist, but don't let them bring you down. Yes, you are critical and you are a perfectionist but that's because you just want everything to be alright. You suffer from tons of anxiety when you want to achieve something but believe me, it will pay off. Just stay strong and don't listen to people who say that you're very silent and unsuccessful because you have the potential to surpass them all. You are a great thinker, a very intelligent person and you are one of the biggest go-getters out there. Stay strong and you will succeed in whatever it is you want. You know how to fix people's problems and you are born to help. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Libra: You are a person who radiates with positive energy. You are a beacon of happiness and you are one of the most creative people out there. You know how to care for people and you know how to love. God damn it, you have impeccable style and you know how to dress. You are appealing and both your physical and mental beauty are dominant when you enter a room of new people. You are a big, big person with even a bigger heart than your body and you know how to give people an advice. Those pieces of advice you give, often fix people's problems. You are beautiful. You are admirable. You are capable of many things and you know how to get shit done. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Scorpio: You are a person who's capable of many things. People usually think that you're too intense, childish, evil and vengeful but you're not. You just know how to have fun and you love making people's lives better. You are a master of telling jokes. Your eyes can penetrate deep inside a person's soul and see the sadness inside that person. And you will help that person. You help people on a daily basis, even if they don't see it. Most of the time you are very sad and you suffer inside because you think that people don't see what you've done for them, and that is okay. But believe me, they do see what you've done for them. And if anyone wrongs you or a person you love, you can avenge yourself or that person you love. Many people think that you're cruel and unforgiving but that's not true. Don't listen to the stereotypes for Scorpios and focus on being a good person. You forgive endlessly, you just don't like showing your emotions because people might manipulate you or use them against you, so you might do some things (which you will later regret) just because you don't want to seem weak. But that's how you protect yourself. Don't worry about others' opinions, you're a great person, filled with positivity. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Sagittarius: You are a person who cares about everyone. You are not bitchy and nervous, it's just that you are sick of people doing mistakes which they will later regret. You are a born teacher and you are born to lead people into a new, better world. People need to start listening to your pieces of advice because the pieces of advice you give are priceless. You are not extreme and you are not impulsive because you want to be, you do it because you want to prove others that you're a good person and a person who honestly and sincerely cares about everything. You often suffer from anxiety and insomnia, but it's because you are a very intelligent person and your mind works a lot faster than other people's. You come off as a person whom everyone thinks that hates emotions and doesn't know how to feel, but, believe me, you know how to feel. You just can't stand it when people don't live just and you are born to fix the mistakes of yours and of other people's. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Capricorn: You are a deeply caring person but you don't show it as most people do. Others will think that you're unfeeling and cold-blooded because of the way you show your emotions and because of your silent nature, but you are not emotionless. You are a person who cares a lot about your and other people's future. You are not materialistic and money-oriented, you are a person who is concerned with your and other people's well-being, so you work your ass off because you know where you might end up one day. Don't let people pick with you or underestimate you because you are a very sensitive and emotional person who knows how to support people and lead them to happiness. You will be made fun of, you will be insulted, you will be hated and you will be fought but you should know that you shouldn't give up of spreading positivity and working hard to achieve your goals. Don't let negative people stop you and bring you down. Learn that you are a person who knows how to function. You are not dull, as most people think. But let them think because you needn't carry about negative people's irrelevant opinions because you know who you are, and you are not dull. You are a very interesting, funny and creative person. You are a great friend, parent, partner and a lover. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Aquarius: You are an open-minded person and your intelligence is really great. You are a very understanding person and you know how to have fun. You lead people into great adventures which might seem risky, but you do it for the sake of fun. Best memories always come from great experiences, and you know how to make people experience things. You are not limited and detached as most people think, you are a person who just thinks rationally for your and the lives for the people around you. You are not argumentative as everyone thinks, you are debatable. There's a difference. You love learning and debating, you just seem argumentative because you're passionate for debates and learning new things. You are not a weirdo or a freak, you're an eccentric person. There's a difference. You are a great friend. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Pisces: You are one of the most insightful people out there and you simply know everything, because you feel everything. you have the gift of unlimited and uncontrollable emotions, which might sometimes take advantage of you but I assure you that you have the ability to control your emotions. You are one of the most intelligent people out there. You are very beautiful, both physically and mentally. You are a natural born philosopher and you're the deepest person there is. You are not weak just because you are hurt or triggered easily, you are strong and powerful beyond limits because you experience everything both with your heart, soul and mind. You absorb people's feelings and you absorb information like a sponge. You are capable of many things. No matter your easygoing, sweet, cheerful or introverted nature, you are one of the best fighters out there and you always win no matter what, because you stubbornly go to extremes and you have the ability to go to the end of the universe and back, if it's required of you to get what you want. You fight till the very end and you know how to sit on the throne. Despite most people's (stupid) opinion, you are not a wallflower. You are a natural born leader who just seems dreamy and lost most of the time but that's because you're very intelligent and you think like no-one else does. When the topic of a conversation is brought, I bet you've already been overthinking about it. You can put up with so much shit and you can go through everything, you can run through hell and fly through heaven in order to achieve your goals. You are not weak, you're just a person with the most intense emotions out there. Learn to control things and you will be unstoppable. When someone hurts you or someone you love, you will turn into a giant shark and every unjust person will feel the ocean's wrath. You are not weak because you're a forgiving person, you are just one level above all those haters and you actually understand why people made those mistakes, and that's why you forgive - when you forgive. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
Signs as girlfriends

Aries: very protective, can get jealous, lots of touching, seems shy but actually very aggressive, tries to wrestle you but ends up making out, jaw and neck kisses, wraps their arm around your waist all the time

Taurus: lots of giggling, loves tight hugs, holds your hand all the time, bakes cookies for you, cares about you a lot even if she doesn’t show it as much, wants attention, very quirky and fun to be with

Gemini: knows how to turn you on, likes to leave hickies, gives you annoyingly cute nicknames, rests their head on your shoulder, likes ruffling your hair, likes to take control, likes spooning

Cancer: seeks approval, good at making out, cares about you a lot, big hearted, likes just being in your presence, tries to seduce you but ends up giggling, wants to cuddle all the time

Leo: super flirty, wants to show you off, will talk with you all night, isn’t afraid to belt out songs in front of you, lots of pda, has a folder of photos of just you on their phone

Virgo: wants to push boundaries but is shy/inexperienced, wants to be protected, eyebrow raises, dances crazily to your favorite songs, best friend and lover, makes suggestive jokes to tease you

Libra: very charming, knows how to make your knees weak, tells you how hot you are everyday, likes corny romantic dates, makes you watch chick flicks, happy with a simplistic relationship

Scorpio: steals your clothes, breathes in your scent, seduces you easily, likes sitting on your lap, gets to know you deeply, has lots of inside jokes with you, traces all your curves and admires your entire body

Sagittarius: super chill, wants to try new things with you, likes to let you take control sometimes, loves being wrapped up in you, admires your butt a lot, likes watching sunsets with you

Capricorn: lots of witty banter, will challenge you to think, likes watching movies with you, will lie in bed with you all day, out of the blue acts of love, teaches you new things

Aquarius: innocent and carefree, will beat you in your favorite video game, makes dirty jokes, will just stare at your face in love, dresses up for you, tells others how much they love you,

Pisces: makes you little gifts, lip bites, sends you cheesy texts, lots of light kisses on the hand, cheek, forehead, tells you how awesome you are, tells you all her dreams and ambitions

But I don’t want small talk. Text me, and without saying hello, tell me why you got so angry at your neighbor this morning. Tell me why you have a scar shaped like the letter S on your palm. Send me paragraphs about the time you spent at your grandmother’s house that one summer. Call me when I’m half asleep and tell me why you fear owls . Tell me about the first time you saw your dad cry. Tell me about your friends’ childhood funny stories, tell me about the little girl who used to annoy you when you were kids. Text me at 4 AM to tell me about the dream that woke you up , come at my door to show me your writings . Talk to me about your wildest dreams that you feel embarrassed to share with anyone Go on for hours about things that may not seem important because I promise that I’ll be hanging on to every word you say. Tell me everything. I don’t want someone who just talks about the weather.
—  warmsnow07 
Red & Blue Connection Theory

Be warned there’s gonna be Voltron s3 spoilers in here!! So if you don’t want to see that, look elsewhere. (Also this is super fucking long, I’m sorry.) 

Anyway so I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and what with (at least temporary) Red Paladin!Lance being confirmed, now is probably the time to post this.

Coincidentally, I’ve been spending the past couple weeks looking for foreshadow of the Red and Blue Lions have some kind of Special Connection and there is quite a bit, so I thought I’d share some of what I’ve found.

The gist of it is that I think Red and Blue have some kind of connection that the other lions don’t seem to have with each other. Of course all the lions have a special bond, but there seem to be a lot of hints that the connection between Red and Blue *coughs* and their pilots is something a little different––basically, that Lance and Keith have shown a lot more interest in/connection to each other’s lions than any of the other paladins have.

(And before everyone jumps down my throat, I’m NOT proposing a permanent lion switch so jot that down lol. But I do think temporary lion switches are Good so uhhhh fight me.)

I’m not sure how to go about explaining this, but I’m just gonna break it down to:

- Keith’s connection with Blue

- Lance’s connection with Red

- What Does It Mean

Here we go!!!

Keith & Blue

- I’m still caught up on this whole “Keith sensed the Blue Lion” thing. Granted, it could have something to do with his alien abilities™ (I’m still rooting for Keith with Altean ancestry, y’all) but I still question the choice of having Keith sense Blue, of all the lions. He only detects the location of two lions in canon, and they’re––you guessed it––Blue and Red. 

First we have some kinda vague “energy” that attracts Keith to Blue:

Then we have this part where Keith just … closes his eyes and senses Red somehow??

(These both happen in the first episode, I might add.)

Like I said, this could be some kinda sixth alien sense. But, I do also wonder if it was Blue trusting & calling out to Keith specifically, which is interesting considering he’s not even her paladin.

- Also in the first episode, when they find Blue, Keith & Lance are the first ones to approach her. Keith even reaches Blue before Lance does!

And then they’re both standing right in front of Blue, side-by-side, when she wakes up.

There is still a close-up on Lance when Blue awakens––but even so, everyone else has much more of a one-on-one first interaction with their lion, so this scene in particular stands out to me.

- Other than in the first episode we don’t get much of Keith interacting with Blue in s1 (except for him saving Blue for Lance in s1e06, which is cute!)

But then there’s also this moment in s2 where he starts asking Coran about whether there might have been Galra on earth before, and whether that could have something to do with Blue being on Earth:

Which is especially interesting now that we know that Keith is part Galra. So …. is it possible the previous Blue Paladin might’ve been Galra?? or even could have been an ancestor of Keith’s?

Then of course we have Lance emerging from his room at the mention of Blue, and accusing Keith of “having his eye on the Blue Lion since day one”:

This is … kinda odd considering Keith hasn’t outwardly shown any desire to pilot Blue as far as I can remember. So, obviously this is a throwback to the very first episode in which Keith first sensed Blue––and the fact that it was brought up again out of nowhere makes me suspicious that there’s Something there that hasn’t quite been addressed yet.

Lance & Red

- *rubs hands together* Now this is Extra Fun because now I know for a fact Lance is gonna fly the Red Lion at some point in s3 because it was in the trailer and all …

:’’))

Unfortunately I don’t get to say “I told you so” because I didn’t publish this post before then, but anyway! I’ve been looking for foreshadow of this and honestly?? If you ask me, there are hints of Red Paladin!Lance since the very first episode. (Again, I’m not suggesting Lance becomes Red Paladin forever, so please don’t kill me. But I do think Lance having some kind of connection with Red has been foreshadowed.)

- So!! In the first episode I noticed that when Allura assigns each of them a lion, she doesn’t technically assign Blue to Lance (because he interrupts her, lol). It’s just kind of assumed that he’s Blue Paladin since, well, he’s flown Blue. Now, I’m not saying he’s not the Blue Paladin––he is! Buuut I also find a couple things about this scene Intriguing:

1) Lance looks like he almost expects to be assigned the lion as Allura describes it (even though he already has a lion), and then seems a bit shocked/upset when it gets assigned to Keith instead.

2) Not only that, but you may notice the Red Lion hovers between BOTH of them, which is noteworthy because this doesn’t happen to anyone else when they get their lion assigned to them. Hmmmmmm…

- This may be an unpopular opinion but I actually … also think Lance shows some Red Paladin traits. Once again, that’s not to say that Lance doesn’t also fit into the role of Blue Paladin because of course he does, but I do think he shows traces of being capable of being Red Paladin as well.

Like listen, when Allura is assigning Red, these are her exact words: “The Red Lion is temperamental and the most difficult to master. … Its pilot needs to be someone who relies more on instincts than skill alone.”

So really the only qualifications here are: 1) Be skilled. 2) Have good instincts.

And Lance?? Fits those qualifications pretty damn well. He’s a skilled pilot, sharpshooter, and strategist. And he has very strong awareness/instincts as well (i.e. being able to identify the Rover clone super fast, being able to come up with a plan on the Balmera on the fly, etc.). There’s no reason why he can’t fly Red if you ask me.

- Also, when the Red Lion gets fire power for the first time Lance is like, “I want that!!” which is interesting … especially because (at least as far as I can remember) no one else expresses jealousy for another paladin’s lion that way.

And generally I just find it kinda funny that Lance accuses Keith of having his eye on the Blue Lion when Lance has like…canonically had his eye on the Red Lion from pretty early on. 

- In addition to all of the above, there does seem to be some foreshadow about Keith getting separated from Red (at least temporarily). i.e. he has that dream about Red rejecting him.

And there’s also that vision he has in BoM where Red is far away from him.

(Tag yourself I’m the people screaming.)

Could be coincidental …. or could be intentional to foreshadow something about a certain someone else temporarily taking over as Red Paladin.

- And lastly: it may not mean anything, but in GoLion (the original anime) Isamu/Lance was Red Paladin … So, could be a nod to the original!

And yes, he wore a blue outfit but piloted the Red Lion, don’t question it. Color coordination hadn’t been invented yet. 

What Does It Mean?!

- In general, there seems to be a lot of subtle foreshadow that there is Some kind of connection between the Red and Blue lions––or at least, to an extent, Keith and Lance have connections to each other’s lions as well as their own.

- It could mean they are both capable of piloting each other’s lions. I’ll say it again––I’m not suggesting a permanent lion swap or anything along those lines, because both paladins also have very strong connections to their own lions. (Also, I’m not sure about Blue Paladin!Keith at this point, although it’s hard to say since we don’t really know what the quintessence of the Blue Lion is yet.)

However, I think in certain situations their lions could be accepting of the other’s paladin (which of course we know is possible since Keith has piloted Black before, and in the s3 trailer it appears he does so again, as well as Lance piloting Red). So, I feel like that could be important.

- As for the reason behind this connection: It could be because their elements balance each other out (you know, the whole fire-and-ice thing), but what I’m really hoping is that there is some significance in the relationship between the previous Red & Blue Paladins (interpret that however you want––but yeah like, maybe they were good friends??? or …. more than that????) and their lions built up a strong connection because of that (or vice versa).

- TL;DR: I think it’s pretty much inevitable that Red & Blue/Keith & Lance have some kind of special connection (space ranger partners™ amiright) and if you ask me there are a lot of signs pointing in that direction. That’s all, bye.

wade stuck around for manicure night with nat. it shouldnt surprise anyone that the merc with a mouth is excellent for commentary on b-level horror movies, which nat loves. im not always big on talking so its kinda nice to have someone else fill the silence. and red is also his color. he might actually get a return invite. 

though not if he keeps being this handsy. 

The Tree That Outsmarted Me and Punched Me in the Face

Ok so this one isn’t so much wild as it is ‘Rekina what the heck do you think you’re doing sit down this instant’ kinda deal.

Our story begins back when I worked retail.

Alrighty so quick update. The part of Saskatchewan where I live is flat. I don’t mean mildly ho hum flat I mean flat ok like the nearest slight incline(besides the dump) is nearly a fifteen minute drive. ok flat as a ruler

And because of this intense flatness we get some equally intense wind. The last few days we’ve had winds upwards of 90km (55mph) and that’s a pretty normal seen it all before kind of wind storm. Nothing out of the ordinary. But then sometimes we get even worse winds called plough winds. Now, these are sometimes hurricane force winds ok windy as all get out

These winds make a straight path across the prairies, ripping roofs off, uprooting trees, and causing general havoc ok

there’s a reason they are called plough winds they plough over everything in sight like a bull in a china shop it has zero regard for your average home or retail employee like myself

Plough winds only show their ugly faces during the summer. and in summers I worked in the garden center. 

Now, normal people would stay indoors during winds like this. Common, sesnible people would hunker down and batten down the hatches and wait for the whole thing to blow over. Not me. Not only was I at work

I was outside

That’s right folks yours truly still had to go out and water the plants in winds fast enough to shut down most cities

So there I am in my oversized rain jacket that I was practically swimming in. This thing trailed along the ground it was so big on me. I have my garden hose on and am doing my thing

First of all, do you have any idea how hard it is to water plants when the water comes out of the hose and just kinda shoots off into the distance

It’s an acquired skill to say the least k I was standing like two feet to the side of the plant I actually wanted to water

Now if that wasn’t annoying enough i also have to deal with these jerks of trees

At the back of the center is our tree selection. I’d tied them down with the full stregnth of my scout knot tying knowledge and most of them stayed secure. But there was three little jerks on the very end that would tip over, making me go and pick them up again

This happened every ten seconds.

I would go, water a plant, and then drop everyhting to pick up these stupid trees

I did this for five hours straight

Then one time while I’m picking up a fallen ash, this little apple tree gets cheeky and topples down right on top of my head.

It didn’t hurt, but those leaves are like little whips in the wind my whole face was stinging by the time I got the jerk set up right again

This tree was about to become a very big problem

See when the other trees tipped over they would politely lay in place until i could reach them, still tethered loosely to the pole. But not this apple tree oh no

Little did i know i was dealing with Houdini Incarnated into a tree.

So I’m minding my buisness watering a plant from a distance and I happen to see Houdini take the fall. Except this time something was different. This time it not only fell, but it started to roll

It had somehow jumped the little enclosure and slipped the bonds

Im still pretty chill at this point. The whole center is surrounded by a fence where could it possibily go I’ll just go get it when it hits the fence right?

Wrong.

Because I was dealing with an escape artist ok what happens next had nothing to do with me

See off in one corner we had this pile of manure right near the fence. 

This tree my little Houdini was chugging towards it at full speed, those little leaves were like sails it was just a’cruisin down aisles of bricks. It’s fine tho it’ll hit the manue and–

It hit the manure alright

It rolled up the manure pile 

and over the fence

So now The Little Tree That Could was barreling around on the highway like a phsychotic leafy bat out of hell

My first thought is if that hits someone im so fired

I scream and drop the hose and begin my pursuit because I am not getting fired over an apple tree ok no sire im going down with my dignity

So i do the only logial thing in my head

Most people would run through the open get four feet behind them and calmly make their way to the highway. Not me

I sprinted across the compound, scrambled up the manue pile, and vaulted the fence

For one glorious moment I thought I could fly.

And then I plunged downwards with a very undignified squeal.

Still I splash down into the ditch and prepare to make my heroic capture

Problem: I had just landed chest deep in slough.

For those of you lucky souls who don’t know what a slough is let me explain

A slough is what happens when stagnat water, cow crap, cow piss, and crop fertilizer mix and heat up in the sun. Doesn’t smell good.

And I just landed chest deep in the stuff. Gross doesn’t even begin to cover it

But being the trooper I am i decide I’m going to end this day on a high note and salvage my dignity

I heave myself out of the slough and take off after the tree which is dancing around the thankfully empty highway

Just one issue: Plough Winds tend to change direction

So there I am chasing this freaking apple tree around in circles and it’s winning ok every time I get close to grabbing the trunk of branch the wind throws it in another direction leaving me stumbling like a drunk moose as I try to adjust course 

This goes on for a solid twenty minutes

I’m back and forth across this highway cursing enough to make a sailor blush

And then victory is in sight my fingers graze the trunk and–

the wind stops

The base of the tree is so heavy with water that It sits straight up and whacks me across the face harder than Dwayne Johnson ever could

My momentum throws me forward, my foot catches the pot

and I sail head first into the next slough

I am now covered in disgusting, thick, sticky water and that tree is just taunting me on the road

Eventually I manage to snag the little jerk and I start dragging it back towards the compound like oh yeah who the boss? i’m the boss i caught the tree 

Just as I see  two more trees making a break for it over the fence

It was a long end of shift to say the least

I had a black eye from that tree for a week and a lovely bleeding cut on my forehead. But i caught it and I am still proud of that to this day

Something I love about the cluster is that there are the characters who we immediately think of as “the ____ one”, the one who’s clearly the most dramatic or smart or funny one, and sure, they seem like that at first, but then you dig deeper and you see that it’s not them who is that quality. 

For example, the fighting ones. We think of Sun or Wolfie, but look at Riley every time there’s a moment to fight. That girl looks pissed. She is ready to fight and she’s not going to let anyone hurt her cluster. You know who’s blown up more things in this show? It’s not Wolfgang. It’s Kala

We have the smart ones, like Kala and Nomi. Or the ones to get you out of trouble, like Sun or Will. You know who else is smart? Who else helps them get out of sticky situations? Lito. He’s a jack of all trades, and his skills pop up in ways that are small but ensure their safety. Sun needs to kill her brother? Fine, yeah, Lito’s going to ace that drink-making and make sure she’s in the place she needs to be. Sun needs to escape? They need to save Riley? They need a distraction? Lito is going to act his ass off and make sure they can leave or enter a situation with no suspicion around them. 

And finally, the dramatic one. 

Lito’s the first person who comes to mind but you know what? Forget that, he may be dramatic but you know who’s even more dramatic? Wolfgang. Wolfgang “I’m Going to Interrupt a Woman’s Wedding Buck Naked” Bogdanow. Wolfgang who was nervous about meeting with Lila and instead of simply asking for help, went and made sure to dramatically walk past each Sensate. And what’s more, after each asks him what’s wrong, this boy deliberately says nothing and only tells Will he can handle it. And then walks away. He pulls the most dramatic ask for help so yeah Lito may be more vocal with his drama but Wolfgang Bogdanow is just as fucking dramatic. 

And that’s not even really touching on Nomi, or Capheus, or Sun, but it’s there. And it’s amazing that even though each Sensate has a specific role, something we attribute to them, we see the others be just as good as them in it, be just as helpful, or smart, or even dramatic, and it’s a nice reminder that these are 8 people who are connected, and in more ways than one. 

the story of the underwear cockles op

y’all wanna hear the story of how @amazinmango and i got this photo op at phxcon this weekend?

PART ONE: BEFORE THE OP

so here’s the thing: n o n e of this was planned. it was amazing, hilarious, ridiculous kismet. 

mango’s had his birthday recently, and so i brought his birthday present with me to phxcon. part of the present was a pair of jensen’s underbears (i think the text i sent mango right after jib was, “we’re close enough that it’s not weird if i buy u underwear right????”) bc i thought that was hilarious from jib and mango is a huge jensen fan and dean!boy. so the original joke was just that mango could have the bear underwear. i also got him a second pair in orange, bc orange is his fav colour. this was as far as i thought this would go. 

so i get into phoenix thursday night and give mango his present. we didn’t know there were cockles photo ops until friday afternoon when we saw hard tickets for sale. i distinctly remember being bummed that my hometown con had cockles photo ops for sale online but phxcon, the one i was actually going to, did not. but obviously once i saw they were available, like. THERE WAS ONLY ONE CHOICE. so after deciding it was completely financially irresponsible when we have no money, i bought the op. 

i can’t remember when it occurred to us that we had both the underbears and a pair of lucky orange underwear for misha in our hotel room. we wanted to do something fun and funny for the op, and cracked ourselves up at the idea. but we were also aware that it could be, you know, kind of sort of maybe intensely uncomfortable to be like (a) i know what underwear u were wearing and (b) here i brought pairs of them for you to further laugh over. i have a T E R R I B L E akdslkjkas embarrassment squick, so we didn’t want to do anything that made us uncomfortable, and we definitely didn’t want to do anything that would make misha or jensen uncomfortable. we wanted them to have fun with us and play around with us. 

we ran our idea passed our roomie, who has some good con experience, to see if she thought it would fly or not. we agreed on judging our plan based on their mood on the day and asking them if they felt comfortable enough to do it was the best course of action, with a back-up plan ready to go immediately just in case, so j+m knew we were serious that they could totally pass on it if it was weird. CONSENT AND SAFE SPACE. we were hella concerned about this. 

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THE SIGNS AS GUYS I KNOW
  • Aries: TRASH COMPLETE TRASH. He used to be really sweet and was pretty much the king of cute guys two years ago, but now he thinks being a jerk that only talks about having sex with his girlfriend is cool. IT'S NOT FYI
  • Taurus: Really chill and funny, but he gets randomly depressed at times and it makes me sad because this dude deserves to be happy.
  • Gemini: Great fashion sense and he always keeps it 100 percent, nothing more and nothing less. He's honestly one of my favorite people, but we don't hang out much these days. Hmm... sad.
  • Cancer: ALSO TRASH. Passive-aggressive and annoying. He doesn't like to look at himself as the problem and just blaming everything on other people. [Micheal Jordan voice] Stop it, get some help.
  • Leo: ANNOYING AND LOUD. Breaks up friendships too because some people (me) become super petty and annoyed when this person is around that they (me) have to stop talking to one of their best friends for a whole year.
  • Virgo: Comes across as really strange and probably has some weird fetishes, but he's nice so yeah.
  • Libra: Pretentious and douchey. Everyone seems to like this dude for some reason though. I can see why people do sometimes, but then he just does something and I HATE HIM AGAIN. He might be really successful in the future though.
  • Scorpio: Video game nerd, but not smart nerd, ya know? He gets a new crush every other week and has probably liked all my friends at some point in time. But he's super nice and gave me candy once so I'm not a hater.
  • Sagittarius: SUPER FUNNY AND SMART. But always seems to have a crush on someone and it's just sad seeing him try to flirt. I cringe as I type.
  • Capricorn: I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, HE'S THE LOVE OF MY LIFE (even though he doesn't know I exist oops). HE'S SO TALENTED AND SEXY I COULD DIE. But he seems to not think before he speaks (or tweets in this case) and it makes me sad. (Me: Doesn't know any Capricorn guys, so I write about my celebrity crush lolol)
  • Aquarius: He's probably always high or drunk. BUT still pretty cool... in small doses. If I had to spend more than an hour with this dude I'd probably die.
  • Pisces: Innocent and sweet. He is an innocent child, I will personally fight anyone who tries to corrupt this innocent baby. Ok? Ok.