but this part made me laugh like all day long

Hey.. It’s me.

I don’t think you still remember me, or even what we used to be. It’s okay, I don’t blame you. So.. How have you been these years? You’re in University now so I guess you are very busy. With work, meeting new friends, catching up with old friends and ofcourse, your girlfriend. It’s okay, don’t feel bad. I am happy for you and that you are happy. You are happy, right?
I am writing this letter, because I never have gotten the chance to tell you how I feel about you and even about us. See, we were so young. 12, 13, 14, 15 and 16. We were friends for five years, but I think we really grew closer when we were both 14. Hey, do you still remember that day we went out to Mc Donald’s with our friends? Or that day I decided to take the long way home so we could talk a little more longer? Those were the fun times.
But soon I got too comfortable with you. You made me laugh and made me happy and I felt home. It was like I could be myself with you. My crazy self, my anxious self, all the hidden parts of me, I wanted to open up to you. But I couldn’t. I always hid myself, for as long as I could remember. I never wanted anyone to know what was really behind my mask. So it was like a war in my head. And you knew.
And you saw the mess that I am.
You saw parts of me that weren’t truly me and you saw what was behind this broken mask. I was like a puzzle made of thousand pieces. And I was hoping, you would solve it. But I never wanted you to find out how my soul fell in love with you. You were my safe haven, yeah, I guess you still are. I watched you, falling for other girls. I was rooting for you, because that is what friends do, right? But boy, I was praying and praying it would never work out between you and them. It made me feel so guilty, but it didn’t matter. By the time I could call you my best friend, I was already loving you in more ways than I know.
I watched silently from the sidelines, I always had. I don’t think you have even known that I was so in love with you. And yet, maybe you did notice it and chose to ignore it.
I know you’re not that kind of guy who would make a big deal out of it and that is what I loved so about you. I was the thunder and you the silent rain. You complete me, and fuck, if only I could describe how beautiful you are to me.
I am sorry this message is a mess, but I guess you never expected anything else from me. I love you and I think the whole purpose of this was to tell you I am in love with you. I love you and I miss you and I want you. My heart is aching for you but I can’t do anything because you are in love with her. You love her just like I love you and the thought of you loving her the way I love you, is enough for me to stop loving you.
But I am sorry, I just love you. I love you when we were 12 and I still love you. I know, it’s pathetic, it’s useless to love you but my heart chose you. But I accept it, and even if I don’t, it’s none of my business between you and her. But this is not about you and her, it’s about us. Only today, I want to talk about us. Let me at least tell you that I have been in love with you. You are the most, most, most, most beautiful human I have ever met and I thank Heaven for placing me on earth with you. I am so blessed and so happy and grateful for you. You are the most, most, most beautiful being in this whole Universe and I know you will never believe it and neither will I. I never thought I could adore someone this much.
And I know, you will never return these feelings for me and I know that even if we were still friends, you would’t fight for us. It was me who left you, because you wouldn’t stay anyways. The more I grew closer to you, the more I distanced myself away from you. Do you know how I hated myself for that? I had to leave you because the thought of you leaving me would crush my whole world. I would rather regret leaving you than to live with that pain in my heart. I am sorry for ruining our friendship like this, but at that time, I had no choice.
I know, you don’t even care about me anymore and I am happy at least one of us is moving on. I know, maybe one day, I will forget you but for now you are one of the most painful memories I bear in my heart.
It was never your fault and I know, it is not my fault either. I believe we were just a chapter in each other’s lives, but somehow, you became my whole story.
I hoped this message would be a goodbye but I don’t want to lie or hide anything anymore. This is a message to tell you that I love you and I fucking love you so much. And I still do. And I always will. Even if you forgot about me, it’s okay. You are happy and that’s enough for me. As long as you are happy and the empty parts in your heart are filled, I am happy. I am happy for you.

Sleeping At Last Part 2

Originally posted by morefelton

Warnings: None

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Y/N - Your name, Y/L/N - Your Last Name

REQUEST:   Can you do a Sebastian x reader song fic using the song Neptune by Sleeping at Last and they are at a coffee shop? Can you make it as fluffy as possible? Thanks, love you..

A/N: Conclusion. Let me know what you think guys!

Part One

Bucky stood at the end of the block staring down the street. He was angry at himself for lying to Y/N and for being to cowardly to tell her the truth as soon as she walked into the cafe. He wanted to run through the streets yelling her name until she emerged from one of the buildings, but what then? What could he possibly say to her to make her see that he was sorry. Almost everything she knew about him had been a lie, so why would she believe he was sorry. Rain poured down on him but he took no notice. His mind was elsewhere and it wasn’t until Steve tapped him on the shoulder that everything came back into focus.

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anonymous asked:

Hey I finally caught up on the first 8 chapters of the Ice Plague and it was just WOW. I don't regret putting it off for a while because that meant I was able to read for a long time without interruption and it was so, so nice! I was really into the story and there's this part when Augus says "But for now, I must report back to the Traitor King. I highly recommend you call him that to his face as often as possible." that made me laugh a bit. Have a nice day, love you! :D

Woo! I’m so glad you got to catch up! (And honestly reading all the chapters at once sounds like so much fun, I really wish I could write them all at once. (No but seriously like I’ve read them back to back now that I’ve written so far ahead and it’s fun to do)).

Augus’ ‘I highly recommend you call him that to his face as often as possible’ made me realise two things, which is firstly, Augus is a total shit-stirrer when he wants to be and he enjoys it. And two, I really missed Augus being a sarcastic snarky waterhorse, who wasn’t taking life so seriously all the time, because man I get to write fun lines for him when he’s in the zone. :D

It’s only been 3 days: but every hour, every minute and every second just keeps getting harder and harder.

This morning it took all of my strength to drag my quivering body off the shower floor but when I reached my room my body began to shake uncontrollably and I fell to the ground. It took an hour to gain control of body, but when I had enough strength I crawled into bed and tried to sleep off the panic and anxiety

This afternoon someone asked me about us- but when I opened my mouth to speak my throat collapsed on itself and the tears began to stream down my face once again. I was unable to speak for quite some time when finally I spilled the story of how I lost you.

This evening I tried to do dishes and spend time with family when a familiar song came on in the background. My heart stopped and I immediately started to cry and my body began to shake and I couldn’t move my body from the sink- I just stood there with my hair dangling in the dirty dish soap until my mother turned me around and held me tight.

And right now… I’m tangled up in a sweater that still smells like you with our pictures surrounding me and I can’t sleep because too many memories are wrapped up in these sheets. Too many memories of long nights fighting, laughing and making love. And right now I feel so fucking lost and lonely and all I want to do is pick up the phone and call you… And the worst part is I know you’ll pick it up. But to say goodbye again would be the death of me.

Despite all this pain and emptiness… I don’t regret a single day, hour, minute or second I spent with you; you were the only man who made me feel like a real human being. You were the only man who made me feel like I was worth something. You gave me more love and care than I ever deserved. I am forever grateful. You were kind even when it hurt the most. But life is hard and cruel and it makes things seem impossible- and right now, I know it feels impossible, but I promise if we fight as hard as we fucking can we can make it out of this- and maybe just maybe… One day I’ll be in your arms once again

—  I hope you read this and know how much I loved you- via (kielymills)
My Fair Warrior: Part 19

Setting: McLean, Virginia, USA, 2022

Summary: Feyre retreats to the house in Virginia to process what she’s learned about Rhys’s feelings for her … and makes an important decision when Rhys comes to check on her.

Ship: Feysand

Rating: M

Word Count: 5,063

A/N: Part 19 of my Modern AU. As before, some lines come directly from ACOMAF and belong to Sarah J. Maas. This includes part of Chapter 55 (condensed and retold), so fair warning. Also, Modern AU means modern safe sex! Yay condoms! 

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anonymous asked:

My bf of 2.5 years broke up with me last night. It's taking all the strength I have not to kill myself today (which isn't a lot). Please help. I don't have anyone to turn to, he's all I have... Had.

I know exactly how you feel and trust me it’s going to hurt for a shitty time, but at some point (what I am going through now) you will look back at it and laugh because you wasted so much time, because now you know times are much better.

Anybody who gives up on you is making way for a better person - even if you at the moment want nobody else -. But really, it is a great time to refind yourself! Here’s what I did:

- Give yourself a while to cry. As long as you may need… but not too long. Perhaps, I gave myself two weeks, so you might want to take around two or three weeks to feel bad for yourself and cry it out.
- Don’t sink into depression. Yes, feel bad for yourself, hate him, cry, send him messages, try to call him, it’s all part of the process. But don’t let this last too long.
- Start a new TV series! I started watching That 70s Show! I just watched it whenever I felt like I was lonely, and it made me laugh and took my mind off of my misery for a while.
- Turn the love you had for him into love for yourself. Don’t worry in the given time what you look like - look like a hot mess for all you want that hasn’t showered or stepped out of bed for three days straight. But after that given time, give yourself a good scrub-dub in the shower, dye your hair a different color if you are daring, get your teeth whitened - whatever you want! As long as it contributes to you looking good on the outside.
- Now to feel good on the inside is a whole different process, but it helps to throw out things you wore most around him, or certain scents that remind you of him (like a perfume you wore a lot because he said he liked it, shampoo, etc) anything that reminds you of him or that you wore a lot around him goes out of the window! 
- Clean up your room! Sometimes it’s great after a long moping session to just open all the windows and focus on clearing the space around you instead of having wet tissues everywhere and other clutter. Maybe go out and buy some cute new things!
- If there’s anything you ever wanted to do - like get a piercing, for example- which he clearly didn’t want you to, go get it now! Trust me, it feels like a little victory to do something for yourself.
- Get a new hobby or focus on picking an old one up! Maybe go on yoga lessons, pick up your old sketchbook, or take on a small sidejob! Anything to take your mind off things really.
- Socialize socialize socialize. You might not want to. I didn’t. But it’s important. Talk about him if you want, but after a while you will realize it’s better to just not talk about him at all - it only keeps the memory and pain lasting! I suggest trying to make new friends - they know nothing of what happened, and they cannot make judgement of you or him or the situation.

And even though these are mostly physical, it does help a lot. Smiling sends messages to our brain that makes us cheer up a bit, even if we are sad. Focusing on other things will take your mind off of him. Just let whatever you feel right now come over you, but do not commit suicide. That way, you are only eliminating any chance of anything getting better - which trust me, it will.

Time heals all wounds.