but this is some welcoming shit

A Really Fucking Vulgar Guide to Not Losing Your Shit in College (Condensed Version)

Bitches love to put things into lists. Moreover, bitches love numbered shit. Here’s some numbered shit in list format to help you not suck in higher education. You’re welcome.

1. Go to class. Like 210% serious. I don’t give a shit if you’re a get by on nothing, A+ slacker. You’re fucking paying for this crap so you might as well get the services owed to you. Take your ass to class even if you zone out 99% of the time. You know 1% more than you did when you walked up in there. Congrats, asshole.

2. All that free time you have during your first week of classes? Make it your bitch. Don’t just print the goddamn syllabus and be like all done. No motherfucker. Take a good fucking look at that assignment list. What’s due next week? Yeah, do that shit now bc I know you don’t have anything else to do. Then when you’re coughing up a lung six weeks into the semester and don’t feel like getting your ass up to do that calculus homework, you’ll remember this week. You’ll remember that you’ve been a week ahead this whole damn semester. Pat yourself on the back, ass wipe.

3. Prepare yo self. No seriously. You got notes to print for class? Sure you could be like all those other bitches and just shove them into your backpack, or you could actually /prepare/ for class. I’m talking looking that shit over, identifying key concepts, getting a decent grasp of the material before your ass is even in class. You a STEM major? Yeah, make this kinda shit your life because now class is like one bomb ass group review session. Again, you’re welcome.

4. Snack like a motherfucker, but save that junk food shit for the weekends. From now on, you are a fucking health guru during the week or if you’re a slacker like me, at least on the days you have class. Fruits? Hell yeah. Pack some of those. Mind wandering in class? Snack on some apple slices. Can’t stay awake? Keep eating some almonds or some shit, but don’t be that bitch with the potato chips. Just don’t.

5. Read. Yeah, you heard me. Read and I’m not just talking assigned reading. I bet my left butt cheek that your campus library has /something/ of interest to you. Commuting and don’t want to drive out there? Library databases bro. We’re in the digital age, motherfucker. I’d bet my other butt cheek that the shit you want is in a nice little PDF somewhere. But na man, you thinking maybe you want to go into computer science? Check out computer science books and eat them up bro. You don’t like reading them? Probably not the field for you. You a biology major in your second year? Yeah dumbass. Time to break out the bio books and not the ones your professor is shoving in your face. Amaze your friends and teachers with your out of class knowledge. Be a fucking star.

Tf2 fandom, hear me out

Merc work is full of unsavory, morally questionable crap. However, we’ve seen some guys go to heaven upon death. 

Despite any sins they may have committed, they’ve been welcomed to the good beyond.
 Now, Medic has surgically affixed the other eight souls of his teammates to his own.

 What I’m saying is: essentially, Medic has, in taking their souls, absolved them of sin and assured them a peaceful afterlife. And if that ain’t the sweetest, most selfless shit you’ve ever seen, I dunno what is.

Hello friends, it’s been a little while since the trailer dropped and I figured that you’re probably seeing this gif

A little less frequently on your dash and as a result have stopped having heart attacks every 5 minutes

So I thought I would do you a favor

And fix that for you

You’re welcome

Stars Upon Thars

OK SO I JUST GOT REAL EXCITE (watching ‘you’re welcome’ for the upteenth time and finally noticing this detail)

OK Y’ALL SO, DID YOU KNOW that the group of stars moana follows to find maui’s island are ACTUALLY the constellation Scorpio? known as ‘Maui’s Fishhook’ in that part of the world? yeah, ok, thats cool, but so what

WELL ASIDE FROM IT BEING SUPER COOL good job maui yet one more parallel with hercules    also maui is totally a scorpio rising with aries sun  and maybe some leo moon for good measure ask me more i dare you


and guess what? those stars dont stay the same all movie. nope. they change it up when maui gets his new tattoo (spoiler warning)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Do you ever rewatch Welcome to Hell? Just for your own enjoyment?

Aaaaabsolutely not.

In fact, if I’m around other people and someone pulls it up on youtube to show it off, I will actually leave the room.  If I can’t leave the room, I will bury my face in my phone, or my food, or whatever else is nearby for me to fiddle with.  If I happen to be in the middle of a conversation with someone else in the room, I’ll TRY to ignore it and continue having the conversation, but my brain will go blank and my face will go red and I’ll find myself trailing off, stopping every couple of words, because I can hear Welcome to Hell in all of it’s poorly-mixed glory echoing softly across the room; it’s dialogue like the ghost of an old lover whispering in my ears.  How is the audience responding?  Are they laughing with it, or at it?  Are they silent because they’re bored, or invested?  Do they know why it looks the way it does; what I went through to make it?   Do they get it?  Do they think I’m crazy? 

IT’S TOO MUCH, DUDE.  It’s too much.  

Heathens - Smut - [dumbass-stilinski]

A Scruffy Hoes Production  ©

Author: @dumbass-stilinski
Rating: NSFW 18+
Pairing: Void/Reader
Words: 3,363

This fic contains some rough type shit. This is borderline Non Con and also there’s blood and death. This is meant to be fucked up, so beware.

AN: Happy Halloween from me and the rest of the Scruffy Hoes! Welcome to another group fic where a bunch of us wrote the same pairing with the same title and a similar theme! Enjoy my lovelies!! xoxox

He was evil, but he was beautiful, with the face of the boy you’d loved for as long as you could remember. You watched him through the rearview mirror as he drove, the tape holding your lips shut pulling at your skin. You were bound in the backseat of the jeep as Void drove you God knows where. Your skin was raw around your wrists and ankles, the rope he’d used to tie you up rubbing against it uncomfortably. He glanced into the mirror, his eyes red rimmed and bruised purple, lips chapped and curled into a smirk.

“You’re probably wondering where I’m taking you.”

You just stared back at him, unable to reply.

“You’ll see soon enough. I think you’ll like it.”

You grunted in response, huffing and sitting back. Struggling wasn’t going to get you anywhere.

Keep reading

The Signs as Filthy Frank Quotes:

Aries: “I am the pussy master!”

Taurus: “Ravioli, ravioli, what’s in the pocketoli.”

Gemini: “I don’t need pickup lines because they don’t work on corpses.”

Cancer: “I’m gonna be so fucking clean that I’m shitting Febreze”

Leo: “I hope you have insurance because I’m about to destroy your pussy.”

Virgo: “I let the best drop like old people with polio.”

Libra: “Welcome to the rice fields motherfucker!”

Scorpio: “I set a kid in a wheelchair on fire the other day…..Hotwheels!”

Sagittarius: “It’s all fun and games until some kid dies. Then it’s hilarious.”

Capricorn: ”It’s time to stop.”

Aquarius: “You know in this game, you gotta eat the whole ass bro.”

Pisces: “I have a belt and i’m not afraid to hang myself.”

Text on the TG:re stickers

The stickers have some form of text on them, so I’ve translated most of them save for a couple that I couldn’t get. Please let me know if you find any mistakes!

  1. Kuroneki: Welcome!
  2. Touka: Hah?
  3. Hide: Ossu! (Yo!)
  4. Rize: Ufu (laugh)
  5. Yoshimura: Just one cup.
  6. Yomo: …
  7. Koma: This is what cleaning is.
  8. Irimi: Ara? (Oh?)
  9. Uta: Do you have it?
  10. Itori: Drink up, what’s your name?
  11. Yoriko: Eat ♫
  12. Hinami: Yeah!
  13. Ryouko: Oh dear
  14. Nishiki: That piece of shit!!
  15. Kimi: A date?
  16. Amon: It’s a ghoul!!
  17. Mado: Kukuku…
  18. Tsukiyama: Hmmph…
  19. Souta: Hai hai (Of course, of course)
  20. Madam A: Ohoho
  21. Taro cradling Kaneki in his arms: Yoshi yoshi (Yup yup)
  22. Banjou: Let’s go!
  23. Ichimi, Jiro and Sante: What do we do?
  24. Shinohara: Yeah, yeah.
  25. Houji: *chuckle*
  26. Seidou: *whoosh*
  27. White-haired Juuzou: Desu?
  28. Yamori: I’ll take everything from you.
  29. Nico: Love (on the heart)
  30. Ayato: There’s nowhere for you to go…
  31. Tatara: Good! (好!)
  32. Eto: Hmm
  33. Noro: ?
  34. Bin Brothers: Older brother/younger brother
  35. Marude: Charge!!
  36. Mabuchi: The feeling of being alive…!
  37. Kuroiwa: Mm.
  38. Gori: Hmph.
  39. Arima: Stand by.
  40. Hirako: Understood.
  41. Shironeki: What’s 1000-7?
  42. Arata: *lights up*
  43. Ayato and Kaneki: I’ll half kill you.
  44. Yoshitoki: I’m nominating you!
  45. Tsuneyoshi: I command you!
  46. Donato: I see.
  47. Akira: I decline.
  48. Kanou: Here’s your medicine.
  49. Kurona and Nashiro: Older sister/younger sister
  50. Shachi: *menacing* (ゴゴゴ)
  51. Naki: *crying*
  52. Maris Stella: Nyan.
  53. Amon doing push-ups: I’m the one who’s inexperienced!!
  54. Takatsuki Sen: The manuscript? It’s not done yet.
  55. Shiono: How are things progressing…
  56. Ui: Jeez…
  57. Mougan: Mmm boy.
  58. Haisaki: Such a busy position…
  59. Kiyoko: Still absent?
  60. Roma: Aha
  61. Hachikawa: Ahh?
  62. Ayumu: Huh?
  63. Kuramoto: So cool!!
  64. Haise: These are your superior’s orders.
  65. Urie: Promotion, promotion.
  66. Shirazu: Ugh ugh!
  67. Mutsuki: Um…
  68. Saiko: Night!
  69. :re Touka: Welcome back.
  70. :re Ayato: There’s no point?
  71. Hinami: *worried*
  72. Torso: My lover…
  73. Nutcracker: Am I beautiful?
  74. Shimoguchi: Hah~
  75. Bujin: Ah
  76. Kanae: My pride…!
  77. Chie: Oh, really?
  78. :re Naki: First one to burst into laughter.
  79. Miza: Don’t call me an old lady
  80. Seidou (Owl): Freshly picked!!
  81. Matsuri: Sukori… (I’m not sure about this, I apologize)
  82. Black-haired Juuzou: Desu!
  83. Hanbee and Nakarai: Snack time…!!
  84. Tamaki and Mikage: Time to go home…!!
  85. Big Madam: Guhohoho!
  86. Fura: No smoking
  87. Hairu: Shoya! (Right? in Hokkaido dialect)
  88. Okahira: This Okahira will win…!
  89. Kijima: Oya?
  90. Furuta: Whatever are you up to?
  91. Mirumo and Matsumae: Shuu-kun…
  92. Shousei and Hooguro: Aniki!
  93. Shikorae: Whatcha doin’
  94. Hakatori: Stop it.
  95. Black Reaper Kaneki: *crash*
  96. Higemaru: Just like I expected!!
  97. Aura: I’m fine with either.
  98. Shao: I’ll kill you.
  99. :re Tsukiyama: Très bien!!
  100. OEK Kaneki: I’m home.

One time I was reading a story on @sixpenceee blog out loud, the story was ‘don’t blink’. And my door was open and my brother was across the room. When I finished the story my brother yelled “I’m scared to blink now” now that’s some sixpenceee shit there.

I’m still super invested in the ROGUE ONE characters, I both want SO MUCH FIXING THINGS FOR ALL OF THEM but also I want background fic that breaks my heart further and there have been some lovely gems coming out so here I sit and go through the usual cycle of Star Wars fic reading: This fic makes me feel better! This fic makes it worse! Now this one fixed things! Oh, no, now that one made it the worst ever! Oh, this one is much happier! OH SHIT FEELINGS. OH YAY PORN.

WELCOME TO STAR WARS HELL. (Fic recs every Wednesday.)

all the rest by tomorrowsrain, cassian/jyn, aftermath of torture, 8.3k
   Cassian and Jyn survive Scarif. Most days, she wishes they hadn’t. It’s never easy to keep on living after you expected to die.
A Man Should Strengthen Himself by Annie D (scaramouche), baze/chirrut, 4.5k
   It’s only after the Jedi Purge that Chirrut Imwe gets to know the great Baze Malbus.
Strongest Stars by Elfpen, obi-wan & qui-gon & chirrut & cast, 2.6k
   The Force works in mysterious ways. A few quiet moments in the dark create a touchstone spanning across three generations, two orthodoxies, a war, time, space, and the galaxy. A maverick meets a visionary and listens for a song. Spoilers for Rogue One, sort of?
heart in a headlock by andromeda3116, cassian/jyn & bodhi & cast, 12.3k wip
   They say that, when in doubt, you should always choose to live. But, as Jyn is learning, it’s much harder to live for a cause than to die for one.
Burn It Down by GreyMichaela, baze/chirrut, NSFW, 2.3k
   Baze can’t figure out what it is about Chirrut Îmwe that sets him so on edge. Chirrut’s running out of patience.
Beinahe by guineapiggie, cassian/jyn & bodhi, 7k
   (If she had to chose a word for Cassian Andor, it’s almost.)
close quarters by iwritesometimes, chirrut/baze, 4.8k
   a jaunt, a fight, and a shared bunk: three times baze and chirrut got up close and personal. pre-empire era.
Stay in Motion by ignitesthestars, nymja, starforged, cassian/jyn & baze/chirrut & bodhi & cast, 5.1k wip
   Short stories set in a universe where the Rogue One crewmembers survive.
Tastefully Arranged by nymja, cassian/jyn & bodhi & k-2so, 1.4k
   For the prompt: K-2SO interrupts Jyn and Cassian’s attempts at a first date.
every memory adds another piece by indoissetep, baze/chirrut, 1.5k
   Scenes from a lifetime spent together.
Another Word for Hope by inkandpaperhowl, cassian/jyn & baze/chirrut & bodhi, 1.9k
   maybe (adv): 1. perhaps, possibly; 2. neither yes nor no; 3. allowing for hope where ‘yes’ or ‘no’ would deny it
Kyber Hearts by crowleyshouseplant, cassian/jyn & bodhi & baze & chirrut & cast, 1.2k
   After death, Rogue One lives on through the Force to see the end of their mission.
Meditations by roselightsaber, baze/chirrut, ~1k
   There are so many stories of Baze watching Chirrut train and meditate. It’s Chirrut’s turn.
firefly by peradi, r2-d2 & bb-8 & rey & finn & poe & luke & k-2so, 4.4k
   Humanity is infectious, Finn makes friends with droids, and K2 cannot get any rest: the story of how Rogue One flies again.
Horizon Bright With Light by rosaxx50, cassian/jyn, 2.8k
   (Five times Cassian makes up or changes his mind about Jyn Erso, and one he doesn’t.)

full details + recs under the cut! 

Keep reading

An Incorrect Year

Hello, and welcome to 2017!! IncorrectBungouStrayDogs would like to present you with some fun statistics/shout outs! This year was made better with the anime coming out and the fanbase increased a butt-ton! Our favorite characters were thrust into dangerous missions, while still being able to crack some jokes at home… and through some incorrect quotes… Thank you all for your support! I’m glad we got to enjoy Bungou together! 

Also, holy shit… we’re about to hit 11,000 followers! Let’s continue to work hard and stay healthy in 2017!

Top Submitters, and their most popular post!

1) TheCouchWitch

2) SilNyeTheScienceGuy

3) OfAbyssalRed

Top posts!

Top Fans!

Most Favorable Character Submission! (I went through the #300 tag till I got to 50 post appearances on one character)

Honorable Mention Quotes

Harry Potter Headcanon

Hogwarts student has The Sorting Hat put on head and is a Slytherin through and through - but at the last second he thinks “I wonder what it would be like to be a Hufflepuff” and before he knows it he’s being bustled off to the Hufflepuff common rooms and is surrounded by singing and food and terrible jokes.

Throughout the year everyone in Hufflepuff gets the general idea that this kid is NOT a true Hufflepuff.

But they don’t estrange him or talk shit they are just the most welcoming bunch and they give him nicknames like “Grumpy pants” and he pretends to not like it but he feels really welcome.


The Slytherpuff kid gets taken to the headmistress’ office and McGonagall is THIS close to suspending him when ALL OF HUFFLEPUFF JUST BURSTS IN AND DEFENDS HIM

So McGonagall lets him go and they get to the commons and they’re all like “that was a close one huh?” and he turns aroUND AND HE’S CRYING SO MUCH BECAUSE HE HAS SO MANY GOOD PEOPLE IN HIS LIFE

if u haven’t heard of sleeping at last, they’re this rly cool band with some gr8 songs about space and the planets and all that good shit!!

like literally they are so beautiful and u all should listen to the song of the planet that rules your sign (also listen to ur moon sign planet and ur dominant planet). some of them don’t have lyrics but it’s still so so so rad bc they just fit so well with that planet

aries - mars

taurus - venus

gemini - mercury

cancer - moon

leo - sun

virgo - mercury

libra - venus

scorpio - pluto, mars

sagittarius - jupiter

capricorn - saturn

aquarius - uranus, saturn

pisces - neptune, jupiter

I started listening to Welcome to Night Vale recently and I think I fell in love, thanks again for showing me this shit @silversatori! xD

I got curious if there was any fanart of him and checked out the tumblr tags (in hindsight maybe not the best idea, I might have spoilered myself a little lol) but I wanted to draw Cecil as well at least once and since for all I know he has little to no taste in fashion (like me) I crammed up some imo shitty looking clothes and threw them together in this doodle
And yes, that is a friggin Jat (jeans+hat)

My overall design for him as it is now isn’t really mine though, I just kind of threw together all kinds of designs I saw and liked and crammed it all up into this out of both lazyness and tiredness :’D

I know I’m hanging behind on things, but I hope that you’ll (after a too long period of not posting any art lmao) like it~