but this if i were to put my feelings into music

my thoughts on 5sos not releasing an album yet

I understand why they are taking time making music and making sure it portrays the way they want it to lyrically. Songs don’t just come out of people’s ass, albums don’t just fall out of thin air. Even tho I think they said they were done writing it, even if they did or not the point is you can’t just put out an album after your done writing it. It’s like painting, you gotta tweak it to make sure its the way you want. There’s 4 of them and others writing it with them so thats alot of ideas on its own to work with. Some of the best albums take time.

4

Taylor Taylor Taylor,

Over these last 3 years of being friends, I would say you’ve there for me in some kind of way whenever I needed you, whether I was having a bad birthday, I couldn’t sleep, or I was just feeling very alone, your music and gifts have always put a smile on my face.

Now. It’s crazy to think you’ve known me since I was 10, and now I’m a completely new person, and almost 14. I’ve known you since you were 19, and now you’re almost 28, and also, a changed person. The last time you talked to me I had shorter hair, braces, and was slightly shorter. NOW, I’m growing my hair out, have NO braces (thank god), and have grown about 2 inches. I also started running cross country for the first time, in attempt to train for my high school team next year. Yeah, that too. I start high school in a year. I don’t know how to feel about that. For sure a little scared, but I know I’ll be with all my friends, which is all I need. I’ll definitely be listening to You Are In Love on repeat throughout the year, you know how much that song means to me. Oh yeah, and I GOT STRAIGHT AS BABY!!!!! I was so hopeful for this school year, so I decided to start it off by getting Straight As the first quarter. I’m proud of me.

For all these years we’ve known each other, I would say you’re some kind of role model, or bigger sister figure in my life. I can always say that no matter what, I’ve always looked up to you for the way you choose to live your life. It’s a way that I can only hope to live mine some day.

Most importantly, I’ve made so many incredible friends along the years, so many you wouldn’t believe. I have any amazing group of girls, the coconuts (weird name, right), who are by my side ALWAYS. I have my best friend in the world, Henna, who we both know and love. And there’s Emma, Katelyn, Kenna, Stormie, Cheyenne, Dayton, Bree, Ashlyn, Alaina, Cassie, Tallie, Sofia, Alyssa, Emily, Mik, and so SO many more. I’ve never been very good at making friends, and thanks to you, I’m happier than ever because of them.

What’s going on with you Hometay? How are the cats? What have you been up to? HOW EXCITED ARE YOU FOR THIS ALBUM???

I love you forever, and I hope you can read this very long message and be reminded that my life has changed so so much for the better, because I have you in it.

Love,

Your Rosebud🌹

Ps: I MISS YOU HOMETAY!!! Let’s see each other soon, maybe? St. Louis has been waiting….

The real Taylor Swift:

April 23rd 2009-July 10th 2010: The Fearless Tour

The Fearless Tour. Taylor decided to walk through the crowds at her shows, greeting fans of all ages, genders and races because SHE wanted to meet the fans that had been supporting her and helping her reach where she is to this day. After each show, Taylor held a meet and greet called ‘The T-Party’. This was a room where fans could go to eat pizza and meet each other and get to know other people and then get to meet Taylor. Taylor would walk around stadiums and hide behind food bars and then surprise fans in the line. Each night she would walk a number of miles to meet as many people as she could.

February 9th 2011-March 18th 2012: The Speak Now Tour

Much like at the Fearless Tour, Taylor said she wanted to continue walking through the crowds during one of her songs at the Speak Now Tour. Taylor hugged as many people as she could and thanked them for coming. Sometimes Taylor would tell her security to move out of the way and to let her hug more people. Taylor continued her ‘T-Party’ meet and greet. Taylor’s team would walk to different areas of the stadium during the show and hand out free meet and greets to fans who had gone all-out; screaming and dancing the whole time and wearing bold and creative costumes/handmade posters.

September 8th 2012: Ronan

The lyrics to this song are based on a blog she read about a four-year-old boy, Ronan Thompson, who died from neuroblastoma in 2011.Taylor wrote the song by putting together quotes from blog creator Maya Thompson, Ronan’s mother. Thompson is credited as a co-writer of the song. Taylor first performed the song live for Stand Up to Cancer in September 2012, and has only performed it publicly one other time, at the Glendale, Arizona stop of The 1989 World Tour, at which Ronan’s mother was in the audience. All proceeds from sales of the single go to help fight cancer.

2014: 1989 Secret Sessions

In anticipation of the release of her album, 1989 on October 27, Taylor held a series of “1989 Secret Sessions” over the past few weeks at her various homes across America, where carefully-selected fans were told they were attending some sort of secret event, with no knowledge of what was in store for them. When fans arrived they were told to sit in a room together and wait. Taylor then jumped out and surprised them all and they all got to hear her new album before anyone else. Taylor baked cookies and other goods, fans got to meet Taylor’s cat, Olivia Benson Swift, and they danced together and each got to meet Taylor and just hang out.

May 5th 2015-December 12th 2015: The 1989 Tour

At each 1989 concert, before perfoming her song ‘clean’, Taylor gave a 3-4 minute inspirational speech, telling fans to love themselves. This is what Taylor said to the crowd of 60,000 at Hyde Park, London on June 272015: ‘There are people here from all over the world, so if you travelled to be here, thank you so much for coming. And, you know, looking out at you, thinking about the fact that we all come from different places, maybe we all have different accents, we have different hobbies, different backgrounds, whatever. But there’s one thing that we have in common that I know for sure. That thing is that when we feel a great amount of joy, or a great amount of pain, we turn to music. That’s why we’re all at Hyde Park tonight. From talking to you so much, and getting to know you, it’s never been more apparent to me how difficult it is to feel okay about yourself in 2015. Real talk. I mean, every single day we go online – and trust me, I love the internet, okay? Love it – but, every day we go online and we scroll through the highlight reel of other people’s awesome lives. But we don’t see the highlight reel of our awesome lives – all we see is the behind the scenes. We see every single moment, from when we wake up and we’re like “oh, God, not feeling my hair today. Not going to be a good day today for the hair”. We see our doubts, we see our fears, we see our concerns. You are the only one who is inside your brain feeling all of your anxieties and the voices who are telling you that you can’t be who you want to be, or that you’re not who you want to be, or that you want to be more like that other person over there. Let me tell you, people are mean to each other, but no voice is as mean as our own voices are to ourselves. Is it true or is it false? It’s true, right? Okay, so if there’s one thing that you come away from this night remembering, I want it to be this – every day when you look in the mirror, and your mind is telling you all the things you are not – if those things are that you’re not cool enough, you’re not pretty enough, you’re not popular enough, you’re not successful enough, you’re not special, you’re not wanted, you’re not unique – those are not the things you are not. Let me tell you the things you are not. Okay? You are not somebody else’s opinion. That’s what you’re not. You are not going nowhere just because you’re not where you want to be yet. You are not damaged goods just because you have made mistakes in your life. Those are the things you are not. Let me tell you the things that you are. Would you like to hear the things that you are? You are your own definition of beautiful, and worthwhile, and no one else’s definition. You are wiser, stronger, and smarter because you made mistakes in your life, not damaged. And lastly, London, England, you are someone who is probably standing here tonight going through your own battles, fighting your own ghosts, trying to cover your own scars, stressing about your own stresses. But, rather than wallowing in them, you got up, you put on an awesome outfit, and now we’re all standing here together having the best time of our lives at a concert on a Saturday night. I realise that it’s not about being perfect, it’s not about feeling perfect. I think that sometimes it’s just about getting on with things and realising that you’re happy today. That’s all that matters. I just want you to know that one thing I have learned in 25 years, and I’m still learning, is that if you get rained on, you walk through a bunch of storms, life is constantly coming at you – that doesn’t make you damaged. It makes you clean.’


May 5th 2015-December 12th 2015: The 1989 Tour (Loft 89)

At Taylor’s 1989 concerts, she held a meet and greet called ‘Loft 89′ where Taylor, again, could hang out with her fans and dance around with them. Taylor met lots of different people including children with disabilities and illnesses. Taylor made sure everyone had a great time and that everyone was included and treated equally.

Christmas 2014/2015: ‘Swiftmas’

Taylor Swift surprised 13-year-old fan Delaney Clements who was diagnosed with neuroblastoma at the age of seven. Delaney, who is a massive fan of the 26-year-old singer started a campaign to meet Taylor called #TaylorMeetDelaney and on Saturday (19th December) her wish came true. Taylor surprised the family by turning up unannounced and the afternoon was captured on Instagram and Facebook with Delaney and her Mum posting photos. Taylor became so into the idea of ‘Swiftmas’ that she also sent a number of other fans packages of merch and other little presents.

Award acceptance speeches

To any award acceptance speech, there is always something directed to Taylor’s fans. Taylor thanks her fans for everything because she knows that we are such a big part of her life and she wouldnt be where she is now without us.

A very important quote Taylor has said:

Long story short: Taylor is one of those few artists who does nothing but good for her fans and everyone around her yet she gets body shamed and name called everywhere. It really does break my heart. 

Taylor has been there for me through everything and I know that she always will be because she has never failed to make us all smile and to make us all feel better about ourselves, She has made me feel loved and wanted and she has introduced me to some of my bestest friends ever. To me, Taylor Swift is not just an artist, she’s my best friend.

@taylorswift

BTS Explain Concepts Behind ‘Love Yourself: Her’ Album: 'This Is the Beginning of Our Chapter Two’

Mere hours before the release of BTS'Love Yourself: Her, the album’s significance wasn’t lost on the group’s leader, Rap Monster.

“It’s really a huge, big step for us,” the 23-year-old rapper/songwriter/producer told Billboard during a phone call from Seoul. “Of course, every member is so excited about the album. We’ve been just practicing until now, day and night, to show these new songs and perfected performances. I left a message on our fan cafe, the other day, after we finished that 'this EP will mark the turning point of BTS’ and even though the wait felt really long with this album – I think it was the huge event, the BBMAs, were in May – so much has happened.”

The wait has been particularly anticipated for for the band’s famously passionate fan base, known as Army, who have been waiting for new tracks from Rap Monster, Jimin, Suga, J-Hope, Jin, V and Jungkook band after voting them Top Social Artist at the 2017 Billboard Music Awards over fellow pop juggernauts Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez and Shawn Mendes.

Since then, the BTS guys have landed distribution deals with Amazon and U.S.-based The Orchard (“We believe the physical album, still, really counts and it’s really important to connect with our fans around the world,” Rap Monster said) and hung out with worldwide chart-toppers like Major Lazer, Halsey, Charli XCX(“Maybe it’s just my sixth sense, but I think maybe we will be collaborating with even more interesting artists,” he added); even snagging The Chainsmokers to produce a beat for Love Yourself: Her.

One listen to the tightly produced record – which looks likely to make a big splash on the Billboard 200 next week – and the passion is palpable from the intense lead single “DNA,” the societal commentary in “Go Go,” among multiple lyrics and moments that feel ripped from the members’ personal journals. There’s also loads of passion in Rap Monster’s voice talking about these new songs as he sees and envisions the larger picture and message for his band’s latest batch of forward-thinking EDM, hip-hop and pop tracks. Read on for Billboard’s deeper analysis of Love Yourself: Her with Rap Monster.

Let’s start right from the beginning with “Serendipity.” Why was this the right song to choose as the intro and kick off the era?

When I wrote the lyrics, melodies and the first themes of “Serendipity,” I tried to come up with some rare things you find in life, something very special, like the calico, three-striped cat; things that have extraordinary meanings in people’s lives. I wanted to share this moment.

I was reading the lyrics are gender neutral, which I think is really powerful. Was that a conscious decision?

The lyrics were based on rare and special things in life. So, I thought, those feelings transcend genders, cultures and barriers between people.

We always put out the “Intro” just before releasing our single, so the intro is taking the role of telling the concept of this album. But “Serendipity” was actually the right song to share the feelings of our single, “DNA.” The title is about how our DNA is connected in the universe, I think that was the right feel for this album.

Let’s talk about “DNA.” How does this single continue and progress the story of BTS?

When we’re talking about our title tracks, “DNA” is about the expression of a young, passionate love. The lyrics are like, “The two of us our connected fatefully from the start, our DNA was just the one thing.” At the same time, “DNA” is taking BTS to new ground. We tried to apply new grammar and perspectives – if you listen to the song, you’ll understand what I’m trying to say – it’s very different from our previous music, technically and musically. I believe it’s going to be the starting point of a second chapter of our career; the beginning of our Chapter Two.

“Best of Me” is really impressive. It sounds like The Chainsmokers, but it also sounds like BTS. You didn’t lose yourself which isn’t easy when collaborating with new artists. What was that process like?

I love that track! We met them at BBMAs, we were so lucky. Actually, they invited us to their concert just the other day – they had a huge concert in Korea and we sang “Closer” together. For “Best of Me,” they gave us several tracks and samples months ago, we and our producers picked one sample, like, “Okay, this is fit for our next album.” So we worked on it, we sent it to them, we asked them what they think of the track we developed and got their opinions. And we made it! I’m so excited for it. [Laughs]

Your albums always have deeper social and society commentaries. Let’s talk about some of the topics with this release. “Go Go” instantly comes to mind.

“Go Go” is a trendy song, but it’s about how our young generation are living their lives with low expectations and standards so people are upset with reality; they have little hope and there’s so much economic hardship. We wanted to say something about it and emphasize to the world that it’s not their choice, but brutal reality that forces people to live and spend as if there’s no future.

But in Korea, “YOLO” has become a big key word for young people because we don’t have money and it’s really hard to get a chance to earn a lot of money. I think society has a lot of problems for young people. Young people spend their money on claw crane machines at arcades and they spend like $30 on trying to win these dolls. And then it’s like, “Oh! I spent all my money…shit. But I don’t regret.” That’s the biggest luxury for Korea’s young people: collecting accessories, cosmetics, that’s what they think is a luxury. It’s “YOLO” because it’s like, “I’m gonna buy all this! I’m gonna buy all this food and I’m going to eat it! I’m going to do it!” I think it’s sad because it’s all we can. “Go Go” is just saying, “Okay, just do it, we won’t regret it. Just spend several bucks on the machine and eat the food!” But at the same time, the song is very easily to sing along to so I think many people will like that song, especially if they find the deeper meaning.

Of course, I have to ask about making a skit interlude out of your BBMAs acceptance speech.

You need to hear “Mic Drop” because the skit was my speech at BBMAs –  because that was a big moment for our history – and then we put “Mic Drop” next to that because it’s like a flex – like, “Okay, we’re done. We don’t need to give a shit about anything.” That was the right skit and follow-up song for this album.

The last song, “Outro: Her” really spoke to me. It almost reads like a diary.

Ha! [Laughs]

After talking with you, it feels like it recaps the whole album and is really introspective.

I think that was the fastest work I did for this album. I wrote the verse in 20 minutes; it just came, very truthfully, from the bottom of my heart. I thought it was the right outro for this album because it is really a range of emotions – I’m saying I met this person that I really love, this person is the love of my life right now, I’m saying that I was confused and I was looking for love and this world is complex. But I think it’s you so, “I call you 'her,’ 'cause you’re my tear.” “I think you’re the start and the end of me.” That’s what I’m saying: You’re my wonder, but you’re also my answers. You’re my “her,” but you’re still the “tear.”

The hook is saying that love is not all about the happiness, it’s just not just about the joy, it’s not just about delight. If you want to love a person, you should know that there are tears and there can even be hatred inside of it. I think a love really includes all of that. That’s what I was trying to say. It’s complex.

And if fans are so lucky to own the physical album, they’ll hear two hidden tracks at the very. Why keep them secretive?

I think they’re hidden because you have to be a real fan of BTS to understand them. Otherwise, you won’t. Otherwise, you’d like be, “Why are they feeling so confused about things? They’re good?!? They’re No. 1 somewhere, they have so much stuff, why are they worried?” People always talk about that. But if you are true fan of BTS and you buy the album and you listen to the hidden track – if you are an Army and we spent time together from 2013, 2014 – they could understand. It’s kind of more special, more closer, to our true hearts.

© Jeff Benjamin @ Billboard

anonymous asked:

Do I really have to exist

i am not god; i sometimes think about how much doesn’t have to exist, myself included. it’s a problem i find a lot. i don’t feel necessary.

but then, neither is my dog. he is a sheepdog with no sheep. he has nightmares a lot. his purpose is moot.

one of my cats only eats bugs. he won’t catch mice. for an obligate carnivore, he loves moths.

is it required that i or you or anyone else exists. maybe not. but i kind of think of it as a small miracle. you do exist. despite how scientifically improbable it was for you to be created, you were. and something in that is beautiful, you know? the universe needed eyes to watch all these unnecessary things it created. you don’t spend hours on your sim house just to put no people in it. does a house require people to exist? no. but it does require people to be a home.

i know the world demands you Fulfill Thine Divine Purpose. i think that’s kind of bogus. you don’t have to be useful or valuable or exceptional to be worth something. my dog is worth so much to me. the idea that he’s not necessary is silly to me.

yes, i know. life goes on when people leave. true, and true indeed. i think about that a lot. but i also know that my sister’s cat goes to check to see if she’s home every night, and she’s been gone for months. 

grand scheme? who knows. but the truth is that other people need you because you help them feel like they exist with purpose. maybe you haven’t met the right people yet. i felt strongly in senior year of high school that nothing i did mattered - after all, i had no friends. i was bullied. if i died, it would make zero difference. and maybe it would have. maybe the gap would have filled after me. maybe my cat would learn that i was gone, that nobody was coming. maybe my mom would foster a new daughter. who knows. i’m not god.

but i do know if i didn’t exist. if i had taken myself off the table because i didn’t have to exist…. i wouldn’t be here talking to you and all of my new friends here. i wouldn’t tell you that, since you’re here, you might as well enjoy the rest of the things that shouldn’t exist. televisions are sound and image boxes. music and art and dance and writing don’t have to exist, but they do because they bring us joy, fill us with harmony. airplanes are godless flight machines and if god wanted us off the ground he would have given us wings.

airplanes were someone saying “this doesn’t have to exist, but i want it to.”  and i want you to exist because it’s worth it. it’s worth it for the dog you might adopt or the tattoo you might get or skinny dipping or writing songs or planting a garden. all things in life that won’t exist without you, that won’t happen without you around to make them happen. that need you to exist so they can exist too. 

please stay on this earth. i can’t force you, i can’t offer you a promise that the world ever stops hurting. but i can say that somewhere, to someone, you matter. and you matter to me, because you exist, because you reached out to me, because you have a question that i ask myself daily. 

here’s my suggestion. when i’m at the point that the rope has a stronger pull than the art of the world, i make myself count the things that are good, and didn’t have to exist, but do. libraries. books. bath bombs. me and you. because i know we can be a force for good, you and i. somewhere on some level we can help others or just help ourselves and that’s…. good. and i think, really, in this universe that loves entropy, yes, absolutely, we need you. we need the good you can do. and we need you. or, at least: i do.

IT’S GETTING KINDA HOT IN HERE

*I wrote this with the sun and mars signs in mind*

Aries: It was a cool summer night. “You’re crazy.” I said as you pulled me towards an abandoned building. “Don’t be scared, I just wanna check it out.” We wandered through the decaying concrete, graffiti on every wall possible. I was so scared but I was trying hard not to lose my cool. After all you were absolutely loving this. There was a loud creak and I jumped, grabbing your arm. “Babe calm down, look at me.” You said soothingly, rubbing my shoulders. We made out there in the middle of the building; in the middle of the night. Your kisses enthralling, and for a moment I forgot about everything else. The creak came again but louder, “Okay, fuck this.” You laughed, grabbing my hand and we ran as fast as we could out of there and into the summer air.

Taurus: It was pitch black, our kisses growing more urgent as you fumbled around trying to undo my buttons. “I can’t see anything.” you chuckled. I sparked my lighter and you looked around for a candle, finding one and lighting it with my flame; never taking your eyes off me. You undid my pants quickly with a smirk on your face and threw them dramatically across the room. Your lips finding mine again, making up for the loss of contact. “You are so fucking hot” you whispered, running your hands down my body, a trace of goosebumps forming on my skin. You pushed in slowly, moaning as you felt my heat. You buried your face in my hair I lost all focus. I just held on for dear life as the candlelight flickered erratically on the ceiling.

Gemini: Your bedroom was covered with so many posters I couldn’t see what colour it was painted. You had not one, but two lava lamps, one purple and one orange. We were laying on your floor, listening to Frank Ocean on vinyl, “Sometimes I think about faking my own death, and leaving the parts I don’t like about myself behind.” you said somberly, drawing lazy circles on my stomach with your finger. “Where would you go?” I asked. You propped your head up, your adorable face flushed purple in the light from the lamp. “Anywhere but here,” you said pulling me even closer, “only as long as I could take you with me though.” I ran my finger across your bottom lip and you bit it, we giggled quietly, then sighed. You kissed me so deeply, like an ocean tide that ebbs and flows. We made love, slow love right there on your bedroom floor. Every now and then, when things are quiet, parts of that night come back in flashes when I close my eyes.

Cancer: Snow had been coming down like crazy all day and everybody was staying inside. We had made the heroic journey to the store to get the bare necessities. Popcorn, paprika Pringles and those fruity toffees. Now we were cuddled in an abundance of duvets and pillows watching Spirited Away. “Are you cold?” you asked softly. “No I’m actually really warm.” I said adjusting the pillows behind me. Your eyes shot around the room, you bit your lip as your gaze landed on me. “What?” I asked when I noticed you staring. You grinned, “I’m kinda cold.” I couldn’t help but laugh as I lifted my blanket and pulled you into my cocoon. Your hand slipped under my shirt as you got comfortable. “Oh my god, your hand is freezing.” I shrieked. “Warm me up then.” you teased as you kissed me gently.

Leo: “You are such a goddamn hypocrite, why are you being so possessive?” I yelled at you. “Because I fucking love you!” you screamed even louder. My eyes shot wide as the words left your mouth. I felt like I was about to faint. Like everything I’d known for the past two months had been wrong. I put my hand on my forehead and slowly sat down on the sofa. “Since when?” I asked warily. You sat down next to me, leaving a little space between us, not wanting to scare me away. “Since the day I met you.” you said more gently. I shook my head in confusion. All these months I’d been crushing on you, telling myself I was a fool for thinking you could ever feel the same. “Look, I should go.” you said standing up, I grabbed your arm quickly and pulled you to me. I kissed you with my eyes open, I didn’t believe it but my eyes couldn’t lie. You picked me up and put me in your lap. “We can’t do this.” I whispered into your neck. You grabbed me even tighter, not ready to let me go. “Tell me to stop,” you breathed kissing down my collarbone, your finger toying with the band of my panties, “just tell me to stop.” Your eyes searched mine for an answer. Your finger inching further, grazing down the lace in front. I moaned into your mouth, giving you the answer you needed. The one we both needed.

Virgo: My phone buzzed next to my laptop. It was almost midnight and my chemistry notes were making less sense than ever. “Hi baby.” I half sighed as I answered. “Where are you?” you asked. “On my bed, what’s up?” I could hear your breathing through the phone, “Nothing, just thinkin’ about you. ‘Bout us.” you said cheekily. I closed my eyes as that familiar lightness hit my stomach. “Oh really, what are we doing?” I teased. You half groaned on the other line, “Thinking about your skin, running my tongue up your spine, and swirling it around your-” Now I was the one who moaned. “Can you come pick me up?” I panted. You laughed, “Thought you’d never ask.”

Libra: It was my first birthday in the new city and I was feeling more homesick than ever. You knocked on my door and told me to get dressed while you poured two shots of tequila. You took me on an adventure, stumbling through a regal museum slightly tipsy. I was laughing at this modern piece, you asked why I didn’t get it, I said the shape was a bit funky. From behind you wrapped your arms around my waist, pressing yourself up against me, “I think it’s a quite stimulating.” you whispered with a sly grin, and my entire body shivered. Then you took me to dinner, your eyes staring into mine the whole time and I could hear my heart beating in my ears. It was like moving between worlds, reality changing from hour to hour. I don’t even remember what we talked about, only what I was feeling. We couldn’t even last until desert, our minds running away from us. As soon as I opened the door to my place your lips crashed onto mine, and for the first time that night I felt like I could breathe.

Scorpio: “Do you wanna wrestle?” I asked you with a wicked grin on my face. “I’m not gonna wrestle you.” You said not taking your eyes of the TV. I jumped on you and the Xbox controller went flying. “You asked for it.” You growled as you started fighting me back. I knew I had no chance, I just wanted to get you all fired up. Before I knew it I was on my back, hands pinned down above my head and your strong thighs straddling my torso. “Who’s the winner?” you demanded. “You’re the winner daddy.” I purred, reaching up and biting your lip. Your expression shifted, your eyes going from that watery blue to devilish dark in a split second, and I knew I was in for a ride.

Sagittarius: It was 3 a.m. I knew I had school in the morning but at this point I didn’t care. Cruising around the city in your parents BMW, the bass in the sound system making our blood vibrate. Like it hadn’t been already. We didn’t say anything, we couldn’t. We couldn’t afford to lose control. Then L$D by A$AP Rocky came on. My hands were shaking in my lap, your knuckles white from squeezing the steering wheel so hard. The engine purred as you drove faster, now with a purpose, pulling into the beach parking lot. The car came to an abrupt stop and I couldn’t take this any longer. You moved your seat back as I jumped over the console. You kissed me like you were drowning and I was air. All that tension finally snapping like firecrackers as the music pumped through our bodies. Your strong arms lifted me up and pushed my dress up my thighs, the windows fogging up. I could feel your biceps trembling under the palm of my hand, and thought how could something that felt so right be so wrong?

Capricorn: The whole day had had a weird, electrifying feel to it. Now I knew why. We were standing out there on the balcony, face to face in the middle of the crowd. “Kiss me.” you said nonchalantly. “You kiss me.” I incited. You took a long drag of the joint, gently pressing your lips to mine as you blew the smoke into my mouth. I just stared back at you, blowing the smoke out again calmly, your fingers still caressing the back of my neck. You almost smiled but stopped it midway by biting your lip. I grabbed your shirt and pulled you to me. I kissed you like it was the last time. You pulled back slightly to catch your breath, “Wanna get out of here?”

Aquarius: The night I first met you. I didn’t wanna go out but my friends convinced me. The bar was so packed but somehow I got to the front of the stage. There you were, and that cherry red guitar, in your own world. I remember I couldn’t take my eyes of your fingers when you played. I didn’t even notice you were looking at me until the song was over. You laughed and playfully tugged on your shirt. I didn’t get why but then I noticed we were both wearing the same Led Zeppelin shirt. When the show was over you found me so quickly I knew you had been watching me. “I feel like this was meant to be.” you said leaning up against the bar. I took you in, your knuckles had little cuts on them and your black jeans were splattered with green paint. “I’m not really in the mood to make friends tonight.” I said, taking a sip of my beer. You ran your hand teasingly through that dirty blonde DiCaprio hair, “How ‘bout we just stay strangers then?” I knew I’d already lost this fight. The next thing I remember is literally falling into your foyer, your lips on my neck as I moaned in your ear. You held me so tight, pulling my shirt up ever so slightly just to put your skin on mine. I pushed you down, taking my shirt all they way off while I straddled your hips, and you looked at me like I had just discovered fire. When it was all over you grabbed my face with both your hands, “What’s your name?” you breathed. I smirked as I put my clothes back on, “I thought we were gonna stay strangers.” I was halfway home when I realized that the shirt I was wearing wasn’t mine, it was yours.

Pisces: The record had finished all the way through. That needle scratch sound from the record player filled the silence in the room. I was in your arms, tangled in bedsheets and your sticky bodyparts. You grazing my back lightly with your fingers. “I need to pee.” I said trying untangle myself limb by limb. Your arms tightened around me, “No, you can’t go.” you pouted. I giggled and wiggled around in your embrace. “I have to pee, I’ll be quick.” You pressed your forehead against mine. “Promise?” you said softly. I pecked your lips three times. “I promise.”

How I cope with my Emotional Nonsense

My brain comes with the fun little perk of really intense, overwhelming emotional reactions. My emotions are a series of on/off switches and it’s either blinding painful intensity or complete numbness. So here’s how I try to manage it:

  • Clean my room. Not like… calm gentle reorganization. No. I dump as much as I think I can handle onto the floor and put it back in its place. It’s intense. There’s usually loud angry music. Things almost always end up only slightly cleaner than they were but I feel way fuckin better afterwards.
  • Play video games. Preferably those ones where you’re way OP and just slice through enemies like butter. Or something you just plain can’t lose at, like Stardew Valley.
  • Watch vine compilations. Seriously, just search RIP Vine in youtube, click on the mix playlist, and you’re set forever.
  • Listen to podcasts. I like audio dramas. If you want recs, message me. I’ve got a list.
  • Take a walk. I’m confident in my ability to keep myself safe in doing so, so I will start walking and just not stop until I calm down. Usually I’m doing better after about half an hour for me.
  • Make something. Draw, knit, write, paint, make a fucking hand turkey. No one cares if it’s good. And even if I decide to throw it out, I usually feel better once I’ve actually made a thing.
  • Blanket fort. Really. It helps. Use a paper towel tube as a fake sword. Just… be silly and childish and imaginative. Those aren’t bad things to be.
  • Cut/dye my hair. Usually this takes a little planning but I always wind up deciding to do it during a breakdown of some sort.
  • Eat something. Sometimes a bag of gummy worms is all it takes to remember that the world isn’t entirely awful.
  • Go back to bed. Sometimes, I just don’t have the energy to put up with the world’s bullshit. And that’s okay. It’s not wise to pick this one every time, but sometimes the world can wait. I bury myself under the covers, put my phone on do not disturb, and either take a nap or listen to music.

Sometimes, I’m stuck. I can’t distract myself, and I can feel the wave coming, about to pull me under and turn me into a massive shitlord. Because I am an absolutely AWFUL person to be around when I’m in emotion-hell. Believe me, I hate myself during it too. Haven’t quite figured out what to do with it yet, but if I’m with someone I try to warn them that I’m really upset and just need a moment to freak out a bit. Then I try to just… let it pass. It’s a bad idea to talk to people you have strong feelings about, no matter the feelings, when you’re in this. Impulses are hard to manage. I tend to just ramble my feelings in a private post on tumblr or I talk to someone I don’t know that well and consequently don’t have strong feelings about. Just… keep breathing. It passes.

So yeah. Things I try to keep in mind:

  • Nothing is permanent. Our lives are short and, on a cosmic scale, relatively insignificant. The decisions I make aren’t actually that important, so I may as well have fun.
  • Our lives are the most important thing we experience. This is how we are, right now. It is so very real, so very vivid and meaningful and shapes future iterations of us. We are very much here.
  • Two opposing statements can be true at the same time. We are complex, beautiful creatures capable of complex planning and deep thought. We’re also  bumbling apes who will ingest toxic substances because we like how they feel and frequently giggle at the thought of farts.
  • People in general are too busy worrying about what everyone else thinks of them to actually notice that a bit of someone else’s hair is sticking up or that their shirt was on inside out. It happens. We’ve all had those days.
  • There is no such thing as grown-ups. Only people who have gotten very good at pretending they know what they’re doing. We learn the rules by conformity, by watching everyone else and doing what they’re doing, even if we don’t actually know what the fuck is going on. It’s okay. There’s probably someone else just as confused as you in the same room. You’ll be fine, and if you’re too lost to pretend you know what’s going on, either ask someone who looks like they know, or bullshit it and hope for the best.
  • There is good in the world. If you need evidence, look at this dog. All dogs are good.
BTS Reaction - Make up sex

Seokjin

“Sweetheart… I’m sorry.”  

You feel Jin’s weight settle next to you on the bed, returning from wherever he stormed off to not ten minutes earlier.  Sorry or not, his apology doesn’t take back all the ruthless things his sharpened tongue have said, or act to ease the flow of tears running down your face.  He’s usually such a sweetie - such a goofball with his terrible jokes and cheesy smiles - so seeing him lose his temper like that… having him yell at you for the very first time… it’s shocked you to the core.  

He reaches out to touch your back, unable to hide the hurt he feels when you flinch away.  When he softly utters your name you can hear the regret lacing his voice, and despite all the pain you feel you can’t help but lift your face from your knees to look at him, this man you love so much.  

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, and expression he wears is so guilt-ridden, so tormented, that you feel some of your own anger start to slip away.  

“I’m sorry too,” you whisper back, tilting your face into his hand when he reaches out to wipe your tears away.  Jin’s touch is so comforting, so soothing, that you don’t resist when he moves closer, cupping your face in both hands now.  The way he leans closer to you is cautious, his eyes flicking between yours for any sign that you’re going to run away, but much to his surprise you’re the one closes the gap between you.  You bring your lips to his in an eager kiss, your hands finding the front of his sweater and gripping it tightly to pull him closer.  

“I didn’t mean… what I said…” Jin mumbles between the meeting of your mouths, his fingers pushing back your hair and then grabbing at your back, pulling you into him as you start to tug at his clothes.  

“Jin… just shut up.”  His sweater coming off cuts short any reply what he might have had, your tongue slipping into his mouth ensuring he remains mute save the languid groan of pleasure he makes as you fall onto your back, pulling him with you to lie between your legs.  It doesn’t take long for the both of you to lose the rest of your clothes, and when Jin starts to touch you gently between your legs you only wait a few seconds, no more, before pushing his hand away and whispering against his lips that you’re ready.  

He needs no more encouragement than to hear those needful words from your tongue to give into that most primal of urges.  He lines himself up with your achingly wet core and then slowly starts to push inside, his kisses never ceasing even as you gasp at the feeling of his thick length stretching you open beneath him.  The feeling of Jin beginning to move inside you, his hands worshipping every inch of  your body… there could be no better comfort that he could provide.  

He rests his face against the crook of your neck, peppering your skin with sweet, loving kisses as he maintains the slow, steady pace of his hips, dragging his cock back and forth inside you to stimulate all your deepest, darkest places.

“You’re so beautiful… I love you so much.”

Originally posted by melanielovesgaysempai

Yoongi

You hate it when he’s like this.  Arguments you can handle easily enough; blessed with a quick mind and wide vocabulary, verbal slanging matches are practically your forte - but this?  The cold shoulder, the sullen silences, the dean-pan expression and icy stare?  You have no idea what to do with this.  

It makes you feel nervous, chewing on your bottom lip and playing with a frayed thread on your shirt as you wait for Yoongi to explode; to shout, to scream, to throw things, anything.  Anything but just stand there on the other side of the room, arms folded, regarding you like you’re something nasty he just found on the bottom of his shoe.  You knew you were asking for trouble when you kept teasing him earlier, talking back and making fun with the rest of his friends.  The dark look settling Yoongi’s eyes should’ve been enough of an indicator for you to stop, but you’d liked making them laugh and you’d liked being centre of attention, so you’d carried on, unknowingly pushing him far beyond his limits of tolerance.

“What do you want from me, Yoongi?”  you sigh eventually, peeking out at him from under your lashes.  Silence.  “You want me to say sorry?”  He cocks his head to the side.  “Well I’m sorry, ok?”  Still he says nothing, and you end up losing your patience, letting out a loud groan of frustration and shoving your head into your hands.  

“I don’t want your ‘sorry’s’,” he drawls after a moment, voice soft and deadly, and you lift your face to look at him over the tips of your fingers, wide eyed.  He starts to walk toward you, letting his arms fall from his chest, rotating the ring on his index finger round and round.  “What I want… is for you to never disrespect me like that ever again.”  Yoongi stops short of the sofa, just a pace or two away, his eyes blazing as he glares down at you.  “I want you to not to be such a fucking brat.”  

You take a sharp intake of breath into your hands, equally shocked and confused by his savage tone and the heat you can feel unfurling deep in your belly in response to it.  

“I want you down on your fucking knees, showing me you can do as you’re told, for once.”  What?

Your hands fall from your face, sitting up just a little bit straighter as you try to figure out if Yoongi’s serious or not.  The steely look in his eyes and the obvious bulge in his sweats are enough to convince you of his intentions, and before you know it your body is moving down to sit on the hard wooden floor at his feet, your hands grabbing at the elasticated waist to tug them down.  

“Open your mouth,” Yoongi tells you sharply, grabbing the base of his hardened cock and pointing it towards your lips expectantly.  You do as you’re told, letting your jaw go slack as you look up at him from under your eyelashes, taking a breath when you feel him grab a hold of the back of your head.  He pulls you onto him, slipping the entire length of his cock into your mouth and down your throat in one fell swoop, and then holding you there with a grunt of satisfaction. When you start to caress the length of him with your tongue, your throat burning, you watch as pleasure softens the harshness of his features.  

Though Yoongi’s still rough as he starts to thrust in and out of your mouth, some of the anger seems to have faded from his eyes, a smirk forming across his face as you moan around him.  His other hand comes up to cradle your cheek, his cock slipping back and forth between your spit slickened lips.  

“Can’t talk back now, can you?

Originally posted by jiminiessugamonster

Hoseok

It’s been six months since yours and Jung Hoseok’s paths have crossed.  Six months since he walked out of your life, shouting and slamming doors, tired of having the same argument with you again and again.  You’d convinced yourself you were long over him, sure that if you ever saw him again you’d be able to look him square in the eyes and feel absolutely nothing.  

Oh, how very wrong you were.  He had to be here, tonight of all nights, when you’ve already fallen out with the people who’re supposed to love you most.  All you want is to drown your sorrows, but when you catch sight of Hobi from across the dance floor, his body moving fluidly to the music, you can’t deny the magnetic pull that draws you across the room.  He hasn’t seen you yet, too busy beaming his 1,000 watt smile at the petite girl grinding against his side, and even though it hurts you to watch, you can’t look away.  

Hobi always understood.  He was always the one to put you back together after mother had torn you apart with her sharp tongue and harsh criticisms, and you find yourself aching for that comfort from him now.  Thoughtlessly you approach until you’re only a few steps away, standing in the middle of the dance floor like some kind of motionless moron, gasping when his eyes pass over you and ready to sob in the split seconds between him looking away and then doing a double take.  You see his mouth form the syllables of your name, and though the music is far too loud the memory of his voice makes it almost so you can hear it anyway, a thrill running down your spine.

He steps away from the girl - she’s thankfully too drunk to mind - to stand directly in front of you, his eyes running all over you from top to toe, like he can’t quite believe what he’s seeing.  

It’s only when he reaches out to touch your cheek, his eyebrows knotted in concern, that you realise you’re crying.  You pull away abruptly, shaking your head and roughly wiping your eyes, but the damage is already done.  That simple touch has been branded into your skin now, and all you can think about is having more and more and more.  Apparently, Hobi feels the same.  He grabs your hand and drags you away from the dance floor, towards the toilets, and when he finds the one marked as disabled he pushes you inside and then locks the door firmly behind him when he enters too, ignoring the shocked look on your face.  

For a few moments you both just stand there, absorbing every inch of each other, but right when you’re about to speak Hobi suddenly launches himself at you.  Your back slams into the countertop behind you as his mouth does the same, meeting yours in a hard, fervent kiss that smacks of desperation, and then suddenly his hands are hooking behind your thighs, lifting you onto it so he can stand between your legs.  Your hands are in his hair, pulling on it, trying to get him closer even though you know it’s not physically possible, his tongue fighting for dominance with yours.  

There’s someone banging on the toilet door - people must’ve seen the two of you run inside - but you couldn’t care less.  All you can focus on is Hobi’s fingertips grabbing  your thighs, hitching up to your skirt as you yank open his pants, craving the feel of him inside you after so long.  As quickly as you can pull his long cock free he’s sliding you off the counter and onto it, thrusting inside you barebacked as you wrap your legs around his hips, knowing instinctively that you’ll be wet enough to take it.  You always were.  

“Shit, I missed this pussy,” he grunts into you ear, bouncing you on his length.

“I missed you, god, I miss you.” 

Originally posted by hayoomin

Namjoon

Hitting the ‘send’ button with far more force than necessary you let out a scream of frustration, throwing your phone across the room and onto the sofa for a soft landing.  Yes, you’re pissed off, but you still don’t want a broken phone.  Namjoon wrecks enough of your stuff without trying, you won’t give him the satisfaction of being responsible for that too.  

You’re not replying again, no matter what he has to say for himself.  In fact, you’re not even going to read his response.  Deep down, you know you’re over-reacting - him not doing the dishes is hardly worth this amount of aggravation.  Truth be told, every time he does it you usually end up having to to the store to buy more to replace the ones he’s dropped and smashed on the floor, but that’s not the point.  The point is Namjoon always makes these promises about things he’s going to do to help out more around the house, and then something bigger and better and more important comes up, and you’re left to do all the grunt work.  Every time.  

You pointedly ignore the flashing light on your phone for the rest of the night, knowing that he won’t be home ‘till really late and still soothing too much to make up in the meantime.  It’s left abandoned on the sofa when you go to bed, too, only managing to fall asleep after you’ve helped yourself relax with a long, hot bath that helps to melt some of the stress away.   

It’s Namjoon climbing into bed next to you that wakes you up a few hours later, though you still pretend to be fast asleep until you feel him start to shuffle up against your back, his face pressed between your shoulder blades.  

“I’m still mad,” you murmur, your voice husky from sleep, and mad you might be, but you still can’t find it in your heart to pull away from him into the little bit of space left on your side of the bed.  

“I know,” he mumbles back, the words blowing hot across your back, shuddering involuntarily at the lingering kiss he presses there.  In the pause that follows Namjoon gingerly places his arms over your side, bracing himself for rejection but squeezing you tightly when it doesn’t come.  “Do you still love me?” He asks it so cutely, his voice sugary sweet, and despite all your earlier irritation you end up huffing a laugh at him, placing your hand on top of his where it rests on your stomach.  

“Of course I do, you dick.”  Namjoon laughs now too, kissing the slope of your shoulder as you twist your head round to be able to look at him.  

“Good.”  He plants another kiss and then another, working his way upward until he’s pressing kisses to your neck too, all the hairs on your body standing on end when he whispers, “Because I love you too.”  When you feel his hand start to slowly make its way southward you do little to stop it, more than happy to make up in the most pleasurable way possible, sighing softly when it slips under the waistband of your pyjama shorts.

It doesn’t take Namjoon to work you into a frenzy, rubbing gently at your clitoris and then running his fingers through your folds until they’re slick with warm arousal, all the while kissing your neck, loving the skin with his lips and his tongue.  He pushes your shorts down over your hips, separating your bodies for just a second to remove his boxers, and then he’s taking hold of your uppermost thigh and lifting it, supporting it as he positions himself between your legs, the head of his cock nudging at your entrance.  

“Joonie,” you sigh softly, arching your back against him, feeling him smile against your neck before slowly sliding in from behind.  He groans when his long length is fully seated inside of you, feeling your warm walls clench around him in welcome.

“Babygirl, you feel so good.”

Originally posted by myboi-yoongi

Jimin

“What the fuck am I supposed to think?”  Jimin yells, brandishing your phone out by his side, waving it around like a taunt.  

“He’s a friend Jimin, that’s it!” you shriek back, a hand in your hair as you pull at it in frustration.  Sure, those text messages from Baekyun might’be been a little flirtly, but you know he didn’t mean anything by them, not really.  Obviously, your boyfriend doesn’t see it that way.

“Oh yeah, it really looks like it.  Real friendly.”  A sneer twists Jimin’s usually soft, pliant mouth, your stomach twisting unpleasantly too when you see it.  

“Well maybe you shouldn’t go looking through my phone if you’re gonna have such a fucking problem with what you find.”  You see his fists clench at his sides, his eyes narrowing as he glares back at you from across the room, and it takes every bit of your willpower to force yourself not to look away, to stand strong and glare right back.  You know if your heart of hearts that you haven’t done anything wrong, so you’ll be damned if you let Jimin make you feel guilty.  Fuck that.  

Still, when he suddenly stalks towards you, throwing your phone to the side, you can’t help but flinch in anticipation of what he might do.  He grabs a hold of each of your upper arms, squeezing hard as his dark eyes flit back and forth between yours, and then all of a sudden he’s crashing his mouth to yours, rushing you backward until your back slams against the wall.  

“Jimin!” you muffle against his mouth, your eyes wide as his hands start to roam all over you, grabbing at your hip, groping your breast, fixing your bottom lip between his teeth and biting, hard.  “What’re you-”

“No one but me gets to touch you like this, you hear?” he growls into your mouth, already pulling up your skirt with one hand as the other flips open his belt.  His tongue pushes into your mouth as he shoves his jeans down to sit just below his shapely ass, pulling his erection free from his boxers to leak pre-cum onto your favourite top as touches you through your panties.  “You think Baekyun could get you this wet?  Shit, I barely have to touch you and you’re dripping for me.”   

“Jimin,” you groan helplessly, loving how rough and forceful he’s being even though his fingers hurt and you’ll be covered in bruises tomorrow.  Fighting or not, all you want is for him to take you, now, right here, wreck and ruin you in his name.  

He grabs one of your thighs and hitches it over his hip, bending at the knees and pulling your panties to the side to line his cock up with your entrance.  He thrusts up and into you savagely, splitting you open with his girthy length, and once he’s deep inside you he picks up your other leg so they’re both wrapped around his waist, supporting your weight with help from the wall you’re still pressed against.  

“Baekyun couldn’t fuck you the way I do,” Jimin grunts, snapping his hips back and forth as you cry out again and again, grabbing onto his shoulders, your head tilted forward, tears streaming from your eyes.  He’s fucking you so hard that his hip bones are digging into you with every thrust, sharp and painful, but you don’t care, you want it to hurt.  It only makes it feel better. 

“Say his name, I fucking dare you.”

Originally posted by princejimin

Taehyung

You and Tae have never had a complicated relationship.  You’d gotten on instantly when you‘d first met working as a make up girl under BigHit’s paycheck, fast friends ever since.  You’ve got the same sense of humour and humble upbringings; even the same fashion sense 99% of the time.  He’s always invited you to the group’s dance practices too, though you get the feeling that if Tae could’ve taken back tonight’s invitation without  having to give you a reason, he definitely would’ve done.    

He’s been off with you ever since you stayed the night last weekend, replying only intermittently to your texts with short, clipped sentences that just aren’t like him, and for the life of you you can’t figure out what’s wrong.  It’d been a normal night; you watched movies, ate crappy food, talked.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  You’d hoped seeing him in person might improve things but Tae’s been avoiding you all night, barely saying a word.  The only time he paid you any attention was when you’d been playing thumb wars with Jin, and then his stare had been intense that it was you who’d to look away first.  

Once practice is over you expect Tae to wait for you as he usually does, but when you straighten up from collecting your things off the floor you see his back already disappearing through the doorway.  You call his name, running after him, grabbing hold of his arm and forcing him to stop.  

“What the hell is going on with you lately?” you question, ignoring the awkward look you can see on Jimin’s face as he passes.  “Aren’t you giving me a ride home?” Taehyung just stares blankly back at you.  

“Why don’t you get Jin-hyung to take you?”  You raise your eyebrows at him, infuriated when he copies your gesture.   What’s that supposed to mean?  Huffing, you drag him back into the studio and lock the door behind you, determined not to leave until you’ve gotten this sorted out.  

“Why’re you bringing Jin into this Tae?” He avoids your eyes, staring at his feet. “Is this about what I said the other night?”  It’s the only possible thing you can think of; you’d asked whether you should ask Jin out on a date - he was sweet and funny and always made a lot of effort to speak to you, so why not?  It’s not like you’d been getting any other offers lately.  Still, Taehyung says nothing.  “Look, if you think it’d be too weird for me to date one of your friends you should just say so.”

“It’s not just Jin!”  he suddenly snaps, his deep voice raised in volume, “I don’t want you to date anyone at all!”  Your mouth hangs agape for a moment - Tae’s never shouted at you before, not once.  

“Why not?  I know you’re protective of me, but-”

“Because I want to date you, ok?!  It should be me, not Jin!” he blurts out, slinging his bag off of his shoulder to slide across the wooden floor and into the mirror.  You’re at a total loss for words, struck mute by his confession. “And I know I’m too young for you and I’m immature and I’ve never… I’ve never told you any of this.”  Taehyung strides over with more decisiveness you’ve ever seen from him, grabbing hold of your hands in his.  “But I love you, I’m in love you with you.”  And then suddenly he’s kissing you with an intensity and a fierceness you never knew he was capable of, pressing his body against yours and squeezing your hands so tight it’s like he’s afraid to let go.  

“Tell me you feel the same, please, Noona, I need to hear you say you love me too,” Taehyung pleads, his forehead resting against yours when he pulls away, his eyes closed tight like he’s in pain.  

“Of course I do,” you whisper, taking his face in your hands and smoothing out the worry lines with your thumbs, finally letting yourself succumb to all the feelings you’ve been holding back for so long.  “Of course I love you.  I always have, Tae.”  The look of amazement and wonder on his face is so pure, so sweet that it almost makes you cry until he starts kissing you again, deeper and needier than before, more perfect than you ever dreamed it could be.

Before you know it he’s dragging you to the floor with him and you’re both pulling off your clothes, desperate for the intimacy you’ve both deprived yourselves of for so long.  You’re too caught up to even properly appreciate the sight of each other naked for the first time; just feeling, tasting, touching one another, wetter than you’ve ever been in your life when Taehyung finally finds his way inside.  He starts to move only when you’re gasping and begging him to do so, tilting your hips up to help him find and abuse your g-spot.

“I’ve wanted this for so long, Noona,” he groans into your shoulder, his thick, hardened length throbbing inside you as he moves.  

“This is perfect… you’re so perfect.” 

Originally posted by mylovertaehyung

Jungkook

Jungkook’s in one of his silly, playful moods tonight.  Usually it wouldn’t be a problem - you love the times where you get to play around and laugh together - but you’ve got a paper due tomorrow, one you’re already way behind on, so you really don’t appreciate the way he keeps poking and prodding you in an attempt to get a reaction, tickling and teasing you when you’ve already repeatedly asked him to quit it.  

When he goes so far as to start tapping the top of your laptop, flapping the screen down over and over and over again as you try to type, your frayed temper finally snaps.  You round on him, the stress you’re under making you respond far more angrily than you normally would, fingers clenching the keyboard so hard that it creaks.  

“WIll you just stop it?”  you yell, oblivious to the way Jungkook shrinks back into the sofa a little, startled by the ferocity of your voice.  “Can’t you just act your age, for once? Maknae or not you’re still supposed to be an adult, Jungkook, so maybe you should start thinking about growing the fuck up.”    He blinks at you once and then twice, expression completely blank and unspeaking as you glare back at him, almost daring him to give you an excuse to let rip once more.  He doesn’t utter a word though, not as he rises from the couch or as he leaves the room, shutting his bedroom door quietly behind him.

It doesn’t take you long to calm down.  As hot and quick as your temper is it always burns out fast too, and by the time it does you’re feeling truly awful about what just happened, guilt sitting heavy in your stomach when you think about the way you spoke to him.  It’s useless trying to work now - even without Jungkook here to bother you you still can’t concentrate - so you shut your laptop with a sigh and then ready yourself to go eat a slice of humble pie, approaching Jungkook’s closed door and knocking softly.  There’s no answer, but you don’t hear a ‘go away’ either, so you decide to forge ahead cautiously, opening the door and poking your head through the gap to look inside.  

Jungkook’s sat on the edge of his bed, his ps4 controller in hand, eyes fixed on the TV as his fingers move mechanically over the buttons.  He doesn’t acknowledge you as you approach, nor does he when you sit gingerly beside him, but when you try to place your hand on his knee he abruptly jerks it away from your reach.  You deserve that, you know you do, so you try not to take it to heart.

You lean forward to look at his face and when you do you’re devastated by what you see;  his cheeks are red and splotchy, and even though his eyes are dry now you can tell by how puffy they are that he’s been crying.  God, if you felt awful before, it’s nothing compared to how you feel now.  

“I’m so sorry…” you murmur, looking guiltily at the floor, “Kookie, I-”

“Don’t call me that,” he snaps, pausing his game to glare at you icily, “I’m not a baby.”  You flounder for a moment, wanting so desperately to touch him but frightened he’ll push you away again.  

“I know you’re not, Jungkook… I didn’t mean what I said, I was just… stressed out and angry and… I know that’s not an excuse.”  You’re rambling now, wanting to make it better but unable to find the right words to say under such an intense gaze.  “Let me make it up to you.”  This time when you reach out to touch him Jungkook lets you, albeit still reluctantly.  He lets you place one hand on his cheek as the other settles on his thigh.  He lets you kiss him too; softly, apologetically, and with all the feeling you can muster.  He’s slow to kiss you back, but when he does it’s with a needfulness that makes you groan, his tongue slipping inside your mouth, delving deeply.  All his earlier upset from your harsh words has morphed into a will to dominate, a desire to show you just powerful he can be that has him grabbing onto you so hard that it starts to hurt.  

When you dig your fingernails into the meaty muscle of his thigh Jungkook abruptly pulls you onto his lap to straddle him, and suddenly you’re all too aware of his erection pressing hot and heavy against your core, gasping when he shifts his hips underneath you.  He grabs onto your waist, grinding you down against him, smirking at the moan that leaves your lips.  

“Are you gonna tell me that that doesn’t feel like a man, huh?”  he growls, circling both of your hips to provide agonising friction against your clit, stimulating you through your clothes until they’re practically soaked through.  “I guess you won’t want me to fuck you then, will you, if I’m such a child… if I’m so immature?”  

“Please… Kook-Jungkookie, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it,” you mewl, grabbing onto his shirt, your body trying to ride him even as he shoves you off of his lap.

“Take those off,” he orders and instantly you obey, stripping your lower half, your mouth practically watering as you watch him strip and then lie back flat on the bed, stroking his cock with his hair dangling into his lust-darkened eyes.  You crawl back onto the bed when he beckons you with his finger, sitting astride him with your core hovering above his cock, dripping into his lap with how aroused you are.  He rubs the tip of his cock through your folds, teasing you until neither of you can bare it any longer, finally grabbing onto your hips and pulling you down onto him hard, grunting as your ass slaps into his lap.  

“Come on baby, show me how sorry you are.” 

Originally posted by gifsbangtan


My oh my, those just got longer and longer didn’t they? 

[Article] BTS Is Back! The K-Pop Kings Talk Their New Album and Ever-Evolving Style

Just ahead of the release, the members sat down for an exclusive interview with Vogue to break down their new look and evolving personal style. Despite a long day of filming and dance rehearsals, they were in good spirits, laughing and chattering happily. “Let’s go!” J-Hope said. Here, we do.

Q. Tell us about the new visual concept for this album. What kind of style did you pick to express it?

Suga: It’s about boys falling in love. There are four versions of love, and we shot four different photos to show them. Though each one is different, the same feeling of love comes through in every shot. There’s a sense of playfulness, of friends hanging out comfortably at home in their free time, and that kind of fluttering feeling. Visually, we cover a lot of ground.

The lyrics and the music themselves are about finding your fate. In this album, we cover a wide range of songs: There are high-energy ones, very hip-hop ones. It’s quite diverse. To match it, the style covers a range of colorful, sporty, leisure, and boyish clothes. They go well together: powerful music, colorful clothes.

J-Hope: It’s very colorful and sporty, overall. I think there’s a slightly retro feel, too. Among the seven members, I think we each kind of bring out our hidden boyishness through our clothes.

Suga: It’s totally different. When we did You Never Walk Alone, we wore a lot of casual clothes. This time, it’s a lot flashier. Super colorful, yet more high-end and comfortable at the same time. More of that comforting feeling.

J-Hope: Right, this time we wanted to show more of that boyish style.

Q. How would you describe BTS’s style in general, looking back across your work?

Rapmon: Just style.

Jimin: Truthfully, we have a very energetic style, I would say.

Q. A lot has been said about the kind of individuality you hope to express as a band. Is that something that comes into play with your style, letting each member’s own persona come through?

Jimin: Of course; it’s important. With each new album, we do a lot of fittings. And each time we do those fittings, we talk a lot and always share our thoughts as we go. We put a lot of effort into looking for clothes that express ourselves and the feelings we want to express with each album’s concept. We want to show that, [but] without losing our individuality either.

V: I don’t think we have one signature. With each concept, we change it up completely and the styles have been so diverse. For “Boy in Luv,” we wore school uniforms. For “Blood, Sweat & Tears,” it was a range of suits and white shirts. As artists, we have to change our style to match each concept. We’re always changing, ever changing.

Q. Do you have a favorite piece you wore for this comeback?

Suga: I loved all the oversize shirts.

Jungkook: Me too. There’s a loose, navy chiffon shirt I wore with slacks that was particularly light and comfortable. I liked that a lot.

J-Hope: I liked wearing those basketball jerseys, and those ultra-colorful sweaters, too.

Rapmon: There was a really big windbreaker that I liked because it was so big.

V: I liked everything, but the accessories most of all. Particularly all the rings and earrings, I liked those the most.

Jimin: For me, it was the bright red shirt from “DNA.”

Q. Who do you think has changed the most since you debuted?

J-Hope: V?

Suga: V has changed a lot, and Jimin changed a lot.

Rapmon: Jungkook, too.

Q. In what way?

Jimin: We’ve all gotten old.

J-Hope: Our maknae line [the youngest members] has changed a lot. They are the youngest and looked it when we debuted, but now, they look more grown-up.

Jin: Like Jimin. Overall, his face changed from cute to sexy.

Q. What do you want most for this comeback?

Suga: To make the Billboard Hot 100 is my dream.

J-Hope: Let’s get it! Dream!

Rapmon: I would like all the members to be healthy.

J-Hope: Health!

Suga: It’s the most important thing, really.

Jimin: I would like to be 3 centimeters taller.

V: For real. I want to have wide shoulders like Jin.

Jimin: Me too [laughs]. For real.

Suga: If everyone could be happy, I would be happy.

J-Hope: Peace!

Jungkook: For me, I’d like to travel a lot. Anywhere would be great. And if I could learn to speak English and Japanese well, that would be great, too.

J-Hope: I also would like the members to be healthy and happy. And everyone else, all our fans.

Q. Any last words for your American fans?

J-Hope: Of course, American Army.

Suga: No matter what, our American Army is so big, and we are so very thankful to them. From now on, we want to put on even cooler performances, be cooler, be better, so look forward to it. Please, always look forward to it.

V: Thank you! We love American Army so much!

Q. Tell us about your personal style. What are you into lately?

V: In my case, I like to pick one piece that pops against everything else. I like flashy shirts, or I’ll wear a simple shirt with a fancy necktie. I also like vintage pieces, more standout ones. I’ll go to certain boutiques and look for clothes without labels. You can find a lot of nice unbranded shirts, and I wear those a lot.

Jimin: To be honest, I don’t think much about style, or “oh, this is my style,” that sort of thing. I follow my mood, which is so different day to day. Generally, I like a wide range of styles, but lately, I’ve been reaching for comfortable, simple things. Simple slacks and shirts.

Jungkook: Are you familiar with the term paealmot [fashion-know-nothing]? I don’t know anything about fashion. So for me, I reach for anything comfortable. I wear a lot of athleisure and workout clothes—sweatpants and sweatshirts—as I like to stay active.

Jin: I like to dress warmly, comfortably as I go around. Naturally I like easy fashion. My style is clean, polished, and gentle looking. Or you could say I prefer to wear big sweatshirts and hoodies.

J-Hope: I’m into streetwear, and more colorful looks. These days, bags have become more of a thing for me—these mini cross bags are so great.

Suga: These days I’m wearing a lot of Jordans, those sneakers. I’ve been wearing a lot of slippers, too, and comfortable clothes in general. I really like that kind of oversize fit.

Rap Monster: These days, I’m most into staying comfortable. I do have a lot of interest in Japanese brands, so I’ve been looking at cool Japanese hyungs [older brothers] and carefully studying their style. Brands like WTAPS, Visvim, I like a lot.

Q.  What is one item you can’t live without?

V: I like old-school, vintage-style glasses a lot. As for accessories, I really like them all.

Jimin: I like accessories a lot. Hats, caps, beanies, I like all of them. I also look for special standout earrings, rings, necklaces … I like to layer them on heavily.

Jungkook: I don’t like accessories all that much, except for hats. I like bucket hats and beanies a lot, and I sometimes wear rings or bracelets. I’m the kind of person that if I put it on once, I’ll leave it on forever.

Jin: I like silver accessories. I think they suit me well.

J-Hope: I like hats a lot—bucket hats, sun caps, beanies, and fitted caps. And like I said before, I like bags a lot. I like shoes that stand out, too. Lately, I’ve been wearing a lot of running shoes, the kind that look good with very wide pants.

Suga: I also love accessories, especially bracelets and rings. King rings, the really big ones. I’ll wear a lot of them at once.

Rap Monster: I like hats. As for a favorite … I like all of them, though? Really. I wear hats all the time.

Q.  How much interest do you have in fashion?

Jin: “How do I mix and match these things together … ” I tend to stand in front of the closet worrying like that.

Q.  Who is your style icon right now?

V: I don’t have a big role model at the moment, but later on, I would like to channel [actor] Ryoo Seung-bum [who is known for his unique style].

Jimin: I don’t have one exactly, but I like to look on the Internet for cool, well-dressed people and get inspired that way.

Jungkook: I am my own role model. I want to follow myself.

Jin: [Actor] Kang Dong Won. The clothes he wears, it’s the fit and style I like.

J-Hope: I like A$AP Rocky. How to put it … he dresses on-trend, but he also dresses for himself. He’s made his own style. It’s hip, but has a clean, polished kind of feel. That whole A$AP Mob style, I like.

Suga: Like Jungkook, I don’t really have one. I just look for what I like and what I feel comfortable wearing.

Rap Monster: Cool hyungs I look up to, even people I pass on the street in Seoul. People dress so well here, it’s easy to get inspired.

Source

Mixtapes (Richie/Eddie)

Summary: Both Richie and Eddie are very fond of each other and often tease each other affectionately, especially Richie to Eddie. So Bill and Stan both play cupid, which results in swapping mixtapes for eachother.

Warning(s): Bad language, 13 year olds kissing (don’t read if you think its fucking weird?? bc its not), if you think this is me sexualising these cuties-don’t bother

Richie’s Mixtape to Eddie

Eddie’s Mixtape to Richie

A/N: Look at my children in love, PLEASE I highly recc listening to either of the mixtapes that are linked above^^? They are both very 70/80′s. btw I do requests? If anyone wants to hit me up an x reader or a ship in IT 2017 (or IT in general) I’ll be glad to do so?? don’t be shy

“Awe, Eds. Look at you.” Richie cooed teasingly, pinching Eddie’s slowly flushing cheek.

Eddie quickly began swatting at Richie’s hand, his eyebrows furrowed heavily and a frown on his lips, “Don’t touch me with your rotten hands, asshole!”

Richie ignored his protests and flinched away from his swats, moving his hand to now over his shoulders and pulling the smaller boys frame into his own side, a grin on his lips.  “You’re such a cutie, Eds.”

“No, No I’m fucking-”

“Both of you, shut up.” Stanley grumbles after rolling his eyes several times at the two.

Richie snapped his eyes at Stan, glaring through his coke bottle glasses, which only enhanced his eye size even more. He held Eddie closer, even with Eddie’s flushed cheeks he still squirmed lightly.

Stan sighs in relief and folds his arms as the group goes back to its usual discussion about the new random comic book of the week. Eddie couldn’t help but allow his heart to beat faster at Richie’s touch against his form, making him feel protected in his stronger grip. He couldn’t help but zone out as Richie begun to bicker that his comic book that he found was better than Stan’s.

Bill tilted his head, analysing Eddie as his eyes would flicker all over the place with his mouth gaping before closing every now and then and gulping. He knew that how he was acting wasn’t the norm for Eddie whenever Richie was like this, something was different. Not to mention that he had stopped struggling against Richie who wasn’t even holding Eddie tightly or forcing him in place.

Bill smiled a bit, as something clicked inside of his head- a plan. But he was going to need Stanley to help out.


That night, on the way home from their adventurous summer day- Bill was walking Eddie home as Stanley had taken Richie to a different route. Bill hummed a tune as he walked alongside his friend, grinning as he turned to look at him.

“So…”

Eddie looked at Bill, tilting his head, “So?”

“So, y-..you and Richie?”

“Yeah?” Eddie was confused, almost disgust in his voice- but Bill could see past the faux disgust.

“I saw how you were t-today, Eddie. Y-you were blushing.”

This again, only caused Eddie to heat up as his form became a flustered mess and he glared at Bill. “You would blush too if someone touched your arm!”

“N-no, I’d only b-blush if Bev touched my arm there.” Bill pointed out, “but in this instance, you blushed when Richie had his arm around you- as well when he pinched your cheek and called you a ‘cutie’, it’s quite obvious.”

Eddie snapped his head away, patting his fanny pack for reassurance for himself. “Whats your point?”

“My point? M=my point is that he’s flirting with you; y-you like him.”

“I don’t like him! And he isn’t flirting with me! He acts like that with everyone-”

Bill cuts Eddie off quickly, “E-Eddie, do you see him pinching any of our cheeks and calling us a ‘cutie’? He doesn’t put his arms a-around us or any of the shit he does for you, not to mention he calls you E-Eds and doesn’t have a nickname for any of us.”

“Okay Bill-”

“N-n..not to mention, he carries an extra i-inhaler around just incase you lose yours.”

Thats when Eddie’s breath hitches, feeling butterflies go crazy in his abdomen, adoration swirling and tugging at his heart strings. He could practically hear his heart in his ears loud and clear.

“He… he does?” Eddie whispers, his voice quivering a bit.

“Yeah, even though he knows that you don’t even need it anymore, because you know, gazebos and your Mom making your illness up and shit but- yeah.” Bill smiles, watching how the young boy was falling more and more in love.

Eddie then quickly holds his wrist, feeling his pulse; resulting his fingertips quivering from feelings how his heart was beating with happiness.

“Oh… I-I never knew that. He’s never told me…”

“That’s b-because you’ve never needed it, but he always has.”

Eddie bites his lip, “What a fucking, what- he’s a fucking dick.” Eddie protests, blushing bright as ever.

“Sure he is,” Bill chuckled, “But l-look, I wanna help you. I know when someone is in love when I see it.”

“How?” Eddie asked, neither denying his feelings or admitting.

“Well.. It i-involves music.”


Meanwhile, Stanley was grumbling to himself in annoyance and cursing Bill’s name for getting him into this situation with Richie Tozier. He didn’t want to do this, but Bill had promised to give him some candy as a reward if it goes well.

“So, Richie. I’m gonna make this quick as possible so I can just go home.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Richie asked with pure confusion, a single eyebrow furrowing and one raising.

“You like Eddie, Eddie likes you.” Stan started, his face full of boredom, “Can you just hurry up and tell him?”

Richie was shocked by his friend’s words at first, before smirking. “Hell yeah I like him, I tell him all the time.”

“I mean genuinely, you asshole.” Stan sighed, “Not as a joke or some shit, literally confess your fucking feelings to him or something.”

Richie rolls his eyes, not being fazed by the situation, “What makes you think I like him seriously? I’m not fucking gay-”

“It’s pretty fucking clear you like girls, after you telling us for the full day about the first time you ‘tickled your pickle’ to a random magazine that had huge boobs all over it. But you like guys too, there’s nothing wrong with that.” Stan spoke with a monotone voice, managing to not let any voice cracks slip.

Richie scoffed, “I don’t like him, he’s a friend and I like to tease him.”

“You tease him by calling him ‘cute’ and you give him a nickname, you don’t do it to anyone else. You like him, just admit it- no one is judging you.” 

Richie frowned, huffing a bit and rolling his eyes. “Well, what if I did? Whats your point and where are you going with this?”

Stan smirked, patting Richie’s back forcefully, causing him to stumble forward.

“What’s your taste in music like?”


The next day, both Richie and Eddie were walking to school together in perfect unison, both of them holding a tape in their pocket that held a variety of songs that the one had imagined for the other.

Richie gulped, for once actually nervous around Eddie. What would Eddie think of him? It was a fucking mixtape, it was Richie’s music taste. Would he even like it? Would he-

“Richie, here. I want you to have this.” Eddie cut off Richie’s thoughts, holding up a tape alike to Richie’s.

Richie blinked twice, stopping in his steps. The tape was all black and what seemed to be painted on with nail polish ‘Sucks to Suck’ on top of the tape. 

“I-it’s a mixtape.” Eddie mumbled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck as he felt flustered.

Richie stayed silent, slowly taking the tape, analysing it with soft eyes before looking up with confusion. He turned over the  mix tape to see ‘to Richie’ painted with the same shade of white but in smaller writing.

“You made one too?” He spoke quietly, his head tilted to the side which caused his dark brown hair to tilt too.

“What?”

“Look…” Richie dug into his pocket and pulled out his own black tape which had a sticker on it, saying ‘Gimmie head til’ I’m dead!’ on it, with writing scribbled onto the back saying ‘to Eds’ with a cheeky smiley face, “I made one too, here.” He handed it over.

Eddie’s eyes widened, blushing a bit as he took it from the glasses wearing boy and read over it- mentally scoffing at the sticker but he was in awe of the idea that both of them had somehow made a mixtape for the other.

“You too?” Eddie whispered in shock.

“Well, yeah- but it wasn’t my idea.”

“It wasn’t mine either.” 

Richie quickly smirked, rolling his eyes, “They fucking set us up.”

“Who? Bill? Because it was Bill’s idea for me-” Eddie began to ramble on.

“It was Stan’s idea for me.”

Eddie then stopped, sighing with a grin- poking his tongue in his cheek. “Fuck, that makes sense.”

Both look at each other with grins slowly spreading over their chapped lips, soon the two boys were in a fit of giggles due to the realisation of the sweet situation. Both never taking eyes off one another, blushes spreading to their ears and down their necks.

“I, I guess I’ll listen to this tonight?” Richie’s voice broke, still calming down from his fit of giggles.

“Yeah, me too… I-i uh, I picked out the songs carefully and put them in order a certain way, so..” Eddie trailed off, becoming a little ashamed incase Richie would tease him for his effort.

But Richie only felt love swell inside of him at those words, he grabbed Eddie’s hand with his free one and leant forward, bending down slightly, whilst pressing their lips together for the first time. Eddie’s eyes widened in shock, before melting and wrapping his free arm around Richie’s neck with the mixtape in his firm grip. Both merged together in sync and harmony, with their lips swelling and becoming saturated in colour. Richie wrapped his other arm around Eddie’s waist and too held his mix tape tightly as they both kissed in the middle of the street, hand in hand, with no shame at all.


Eddie sat down at his desk, placing his headphones over his head, pressing play as quickly the flood of Richie vibes swirled into his eardrums. Finally, after many aching hours at school he had time to listen to this mixtape.

I don’t want to know your name

Cause’ you don’t look the same

The way you did before

Okay, you think you got a pretty face

But the rest of you is out of place

You looked alright before…

Eddie chuckled at the familiar song, it often played in arcades that the Losers club all went too. It went under the title ‘Fox on the Run’ and it was by ‘The Sweets’.

Fox on the run!

You scream and everybody comes a running!

Take a run and hide yourself away…

Foxy on the run!

F-foxy!

Fox on the run…

And hide away!

Eddie listened to every song intensely, capturing the vibe of Richie Tozier perfectly. He had even picked out songs that they both loved and favoured. Eddie really adored Richie’s music taste and everything about it, it perfectly described him as a person and he loved that.

Soon, the last song came on. By the instrumental, Eddie recognised it to be ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love With You’ by Elvis Presley. HIs heart hammered quickly.

Wise men say,

Only fools rush in

But I, cant help, falling in love with you…

Shall I stay?

Would it be a sin?

If I can’t help, falling in love with you…

Eddie’s breath hitched in his throat, feeling his pulse echo throughout his system. This was not part of Richie’s vibe at all, but part of Eddie’s. Eddie loved Elvis Presley whilst Richie wasn’t a big fan of him. 

But this song was magical and made for someone special, so Eddie was shocked and swooned. Very much so captivated.

Eddie Kaspbrak was falling in love with Richie Tozier.


Later that night, Richie laid down in bed with his cheap headphones, before plugging them into the mixtape and pressing the button to get the songs going.

The first song started; it was of course one of Richie’s favoured artists as well as Eddie’s. From what he knew, this was one of Eddie’s favourite songs from David Bowie, it was called Heroes and it was a truly beautiful song.

I, I will be king.

And you, you will be queen.

Though nothing, will drive them away

We can beat them, just for one day.

Oh we can be heroes!

Just for one day.

And you, you can be mean.

And I, I drink all the time.

Because we’re lovers, and that is a fact.

Yes we’re lovers, and that is that.

Though nothing, will keep us together

We could steal time, just for one day.

We could be heroes, forever and ever.

What’d you say?

Richie felt his heart pump faster and swell as the mixtape carried on, each song having Eddie’s vibe to it. But Richie could tell that they matched him in a way that made Eddie pick it for him to listen to. Everything was intentional.

After a good 50 minutes, the final song was starting to play. Yet Richie wasn’t prepared for what he was about to hear.

Hey Jude…

Don’t make it bad,

Take a sad song, then make it better.

Remember, to let her into your heart.

Then you can start to make it better.

Richie’s eyes widened as his thoughts wandered back to Eddie’s simple words. ‘I picked out the songs carefully and put them in order a certain way.’ This meant that Eddie had intentionally wanted Richie to hear this song last.

Hey Jude…

Don’t be afraid.

You were made to go out and get her.

The minute you let her under your skin

Then you begin to make it better.

Richie felt the tears prick at his waterline as this was the first time of him being emotional at a song. Eddie was the only person that knew about Richie’s home life, how he was neglected by his parents constantly and was alone. He knew that the reason why Richie was so loud and out there was because he didn’t receive the attention he deserved at home, so he wanted it from friends. He wanted to make people laugh, Eddie knew this.

Eddie’s key words lingered in his brain, as it stuck out to him that this single song revealed that Eddie’s whole mixtape was set up in a way to help Richie throughout dark times or whenever he felt alone, so he could remember that Eddie had cared enough to set up this mixtape in perfect order to make Richie stronger in that given moment.

And anytime you feel the pain,

Hey Jude, refrain

Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders.

For well you know that it’s a fool,

Who plays it cool

By making his world a little colder.

Richie’s tears finally fell, making him take his glasses off to refrain any of the tears staining the lenses. Eddie had purposely picked this song as if to say that Richie was in fact his Jude, he wanted Richie to get better and hopefully have a better mindset besides his life at home.

Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah nah…

His breaths shook, as he held the mixtape to his chest with the headphones still placed perfectly on his head. He was thankful to have someone like Eddie who would even bother to do this, as something as simple as this with so much thought put into it only made him fall in love with the small boy even more.

bts scenario: appreciation

i saw this in my inbox and thought it was so cute! hope you enjoy! xx

raising money for my pet’s tumor removal 

++++

jin: jin was particularly insecure about his fingers, this was a widely known fact. so when you saw jin staring at his fingers as he bent them and pulled at them you gently took his hands in yours. “don’t do that jinnie,” you smiled softly at him, “your hands are beautiful, you don’t need to change anything about yourself. jin smiled before leaning his forehead against yours, “i’m sorry.” you shook your head, “you don’t need to apologize jin, just know that you’re beautiful no matter what.” soft kisses were exchanged for the rest of the night. 

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

yoongi: yoongi wasn’t the best at sharing his feelings, but you could always tell when he was upset. his fingers curled and uncurled as he tried to restrain his frustration. “yoongz?” you asked softly and his eyes flew over to you, the anger leaving them as soon as he made eye contact with you, “what’s wrong?” yoongi looked down at his keyboard, “i’m a shitty songwriter.” your brow furrowed as you scooted closer to him, “min yoongi,” you started, “that is not true, do not put yourself down like that. you’re amazing.” yoongi nuzzled into your hair as you calmed him down.

Originally posted by you-made-me-again

hoseok: hoseok sometimes got frustrated with himself when he couldn’t get the choreography 100% correct. “hobi,” you turned off the music, “come here.” hoseok looked over at you as he breathed heavily and sat down next to you. “i know you want to get this perfect, but you need to take a break okay?” your fingers threaded through his hair. hoseok went to retort but you stopped him, “you can’t get everything right all the time, you need to rest. you’re an amazing dancer hobi.” hoseok pulled you into his arms as he promised a night full of junk food and movies. 

Originally posted by tanktoptiger

namjoon: namjoon’s hands slammed down on his desk as he threw his headphones off to the side. “fuck,” he swore as he dragged his hands down his face. “hey hey,” you said as you pulled his hands away, laying your hands on his cheeks, “what’s wrong?” “i can’t get this melody right,” namjoon huffed but leaned into your touch. “that’s okay baby,” you said, “you just need a break okay? how does sushi sound?” namjoon’s eyes immediately lit up at the promise of sushi, and that’s when you knew you would do anything to make him smile.

Originally posted by je0n

jimin: jimin poked and prodded at his skin as you watched with a frown on your face. “jiminie,” you said with a chastising voice, which made jimin look down at the floor. “i gained weight,” he said with a voice full of sorrow. “baby,” you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him close, “your body is perfect okay? gaining weight is okay. what’s important is that you’re happy.” jimin leaned into your neck and hugged you close, pressing kisses to your neck as a thanks. 

Originally posted by bubblegumochi

taehyung: taehyung’s finger pushed against the freckles on his face while frowning. “tae what are you doing?” you asked as you watched his ministrations. “i don’t like my freckles,” he stated as he poked at the one on his cheekbone. pulling his hands away from his face, you began to place kisses on every freckle you could see. “well i love your freckles,” you said, “do you know which one is my favorite?” taehyung shook his head. “this one,” you placed a kiss on the edge of taehyung’s nose, making him break out into giggles. 

Originally posted by danielsoftgf

jungkook: jungkook huffed for what seemed like the 100th time tonight as he sat on the couch while looking down at his lap. “it’s okay kookie,” you said softly as you grabbed his hands, “you did good.” jungkook shook his head, “no i didn’t, i’m supposed to be the golden maknae.” you frowned at his words, “it’s okay to not be perfect all the time baby, i know you messed up a little on your vocals, but your voice just needs some rest, alright?” kissing the frown at the edge of jungkook’s lips, you finally felt some of the tension beginning to leave his body. 

Originally posted by ggukz

HIGHLIGHTS: BTS at SBS Cultwo Show Radio (170921)
  • Chainsmokers were the first to ask for a collab with BTS. After BTS accepted they were sent 10 beats right away.
  • Jin: we say bts in America because they don’t even know what Bangtan Sonyeondan means so they won’t be able to make fun of us
  • Namjoon asked Hobi yesterday in a serious tone “Why do foreign fans like us? what part do they like about us?”(they can’t believe it and they think they have nothing special) and Jhope answered him “seriously why do they think we are funny?” But the MC said that their music is great like reaaaally great (AMEN someone was there to speak the truth)
  • MC reading the comments “My mom tells me Bangtan works harder than me” the host answered to that “Yes they put their blood, sweat and tears”
  • The MC said that BTS will probably be in history books to let people know more about South Korea. BTS humbly thanked him.
  • Jhope said the choreography for this album is the hardest they had so far.
  • Suga said all their content get translated fast (in the second) so BTS and himself are amazed whenever tahta happens.
  • *DNA PLAYED*
  • Jimin buttoned his shirt and someone texted the station asking “Jimin why did you button up”.  Jimin said it was just too much. Then the host thanked Jimin for doing so and Suga said “but mine is unbuttoned too” (He was wearing a shirt underneath lol)
  • The host asked them what are they majored in high school. Jimin said contemporary dance and the MC said “yeah your face look like contemporary dance). V said dancing and singing.
  • A fan asked that she wanted to hear Tahyung and Jungkook more. The MC asked if they don’t talk much to which Jimin answered "No they talk the most” and JK added, “I don’t know when to come in/get into the convo”.
  • Suga and JK got a cold.
  • The MC said Jimin looks like he was naturally born with blonde hair (it suits him so well)
  • Jimin: we all cried when we first performed at the Olympic Gymnasium. there were chills all throughout our bodies
  • The dome tour next month is their first JAPAN biggest tour and one con holds 35000ppl and they even cried w 1500ppl so they r thrilled n nerve
  • Host: is pied piper about the fans because they follow you guys around? bts: yes host: are you dissing them? yoongi: we’re thankful (Read this analysis to understand why they are thankful HERE).
  • Q. how was it performing with Seo Taiji yoongi: it was an honor hoseok: he’s very detailed he helped us one by one with the dances. Namjoon: Seo Taiji kept calling us his sons. there’s a year difference between him and Jungkook’s actual dad
  • Cultwo said they used to have 8000 fans but bc they didn’t take care of them they have 5 now lol (Insinuating that they should take care of their fans).
  • host: rap mon’s good at English who’s good at Japanese bts: rap mon hoseok: he’s very good with languages host: How about Chinese bts: jin
  • What do u wanna eat so bad rn? Jimin said chicken, Jin jelly, Suga obok jaengban (Jimin said he was an old man for picking that), V ggomak, Jhope Nakjji, RM meat and rice and Jungkook ramen.
  • They said they eat Three meals a day but because of the schedule (packed), they lose weight every day. Jimin: (worried fans would be worried about them) WE’RE EATING VERY WELL DO NOT WORRY ABOUT US
  • MC: you guys kicked down Ariana grande Justin Bieber Shawn Mendes Namjoon: I feel rude saying kicked host: YOU DID KICK THEM DOWN
  • They started talking about “top social artist” and the host asked them to tell Bieber something and V said in English “Justin Bieber I am your fan”.
  • Namjoon’s motto “Let’s live life sexily”
  • Taehyung: [his life motto is something in satoori his dad says] it means “that’s nothing! just forget about it and do it/move on!”
  • Jungkook changes the instruments he is learning every 3 months so the MC said he is probably good at none. and JK answered, “That’s why I am trying to change my moto” (‘It’s better to die if you have no passion’ to which SG answered in the past 'Jungkookie is going to die soon’).
  • Jimin: we’re coming back through the comeback show with DNA so please anticipate it and love us a lot thank you! 
  • [end of show]

Cr sugafull27 rosoidae

Lipstick stains

Summary: She and Tom don’t exactly get along, but really, everyone knows they just need to bang.

Pairings: Reader (?) x Tom Holland

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: Some swearing and some smut

A/n: I’m sorry this is so shitty :/ but let me know what ya think anyways :)))


“Nice ass.”

“And this is as close as you’ll get to it.”

“Wouldn’t want it anyway.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

It was a good feeling when she got the last word in. It meant she won that round, and boy, there were many rounds of snarky banter. Neither she nor Tom were overly fond of each other and did what they could to avoid any situation involving the other. However, when your best friends are dating, it’s inevitable. Kat and Haz, what a cute couple. She and Tom, no way in hell. Or at least, that’s what they said every time somebody suggested they ‘just make out already’. See, the thing with those two is that they had undeniable chemistry; the room was thick with sexual tension whenever they were together. It was apparent to everyone but them.

They were currently at the boys’ shared apartment. When Haz had asked the both of them to help him prepare for tonight, they had begrudgingly agreed. It was Kat’s birthday, and being a good boyfriend, he was throwing her a surprise party. As much as they disliked each other, she and Tom loved their friends.  

Haz had put them in charge of decorations, so here she was, standing on a wooden stool in the living room, Tom on the ground behind her. She was on her toes, trying to tape streamers to the ceiling. Due to the height difference, he had a perfect view of her ass. She was annoying, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t hot – not that he’d ever admit that out loud.  

Suddenly she wobbled a little, and as if on instinct, he immediately reached out. He grabbed her waist, steadying her.

“Hands off, Holland,” she said sternly, not even looking at him.

“Geez, I was just trying to help,” he removed his hands, holding them up defensively.

“My knight in shining armour,” her words dripped with sarcasm.

He rolled his eyes at her.

Having finally taped that section, she asked Tom for another piece. The small seat she was standing on didn’t allow room for much movement. As she turned to take it from him, she lost her balance. With a yelp, she fell forward – right on top of Tom. They crashed to the floor in a loud heap.

They both groaned; him underneath her, she with her face pressed against his throat. She lifted her head and winced. Haz came running in.

“What is going on in h–,” he stopped midsentence when he saw them on the floor, in quite the compromising position.

He grinned.

“What happened?”

“It’s not what you think.”

“I’m sure,” he said amused, his grin getting wider. He contemplated taking pictures but thought better of it. They’d kill him.

“She fell on me,” Tom grunted.

“No, I didn’t!” she protested.

“You literally fell off the stool, onto me.”

“Okay, fine, I did,” she huffed as she stood up, checking for bruises.

Tom was still lying on the floor, taking a moment to recuperate.

“Um, mate?” Haz snickered, looking down at him.

“What?”

Haz checked to see if she had noticed yet, before answering, “You got a little something there,” indicating his collarbone.

Tom swiped at the area, not finding anything.

“What? What is it?” he questioned. He too stood up and looked between the two, puzzled.

By now, she had realised what Haz was talking about and suppressed a smile.

“Oops.”

She pointed at the mirror on the wall and allowed him to make the discovery. She and Haz exchanged a look and giggled.

“What the fuck?”

They burst out laughing. Right at the base of his throat, there was a perfect impression of her lips, her red lipstick staining his pale skin. Glaring at his reflection, he tried to wipe the mark away but only succeeded in smudging it.

“How the hell am I supposed to get rid of this?” he growled.

“Will you relax? It’s just lipstick,” she reassured.

“Yeah, that makes it seem like you two were getting intimate,” Haz snorted.

“Shut up,” the other two snapped in unison.

“Okay, okay,” he backed out of the room. “I’m gonna finish up in the kitchen. You guys should finish all this too, party’s starting soon.”

She nodded at him and turned to look at Tom. He was still rubbing at that spot and she could tell that it had spread all over his neck now.

Sighing, she walked over to her bag and pulled out a makeup wipe. She sauntered over to him and held out the tissue. He took it reluctantly and cleaned the lipstick off.

She crossed her arms and waited for him, expecting a thank you.

“You’re welcome, by the way,” he said instead.

“For what?” she asked in confusion.

“You fell on me, I cushioned your fall. You’re welcome,” he explained simply.

“My hero,” this time she rolled her eyes at him. “Come on, we gotta finish hanging these streamers.”

Grumbling, they returned to their assigned job.

*

“Let’s get this party started!” Kat screamed, raising her cup in the air. Somebody turned the volume up, and the crowd cheered, the apartment filling with music. She kissed Haz and dragged him into the middle of the room, dancing with him.

Tom smiled at his friends enjoying themselves. He took a sip of his drink, his eyes wandering the room before they landed on her. She was wearing a short black dress, hair cascading down her back. She was tipsy but moved with confidence in her heels. He watched her hips swinging in time to the beat of the song, her arms above her head. He admired the curves of her body, very evident in the confines of the tight fabric. It wasn’t long before some guy was behind her, his hands on her hips. She was unfazed, grinding against him. She spun around in his arms, her own coming down over his shoulders. As she moved closer towards him, Tom looked away, filled with a strange resentment.

He left the room, in search of more alcohol to distract him from this unwanted feeling.

*

She needed a drink. She had been dancing for what felt like hours and was desperately thirsty. Squeezing past the swaying bodies she made it to the kitchen. She noticed Tom leaning against the counter, talking to another guest. She moved towards the island bench across from him and grabbed a bottle, pouring some soda into a cup. She guzzled it down.

“All that grinding made you thirsty, huh?” he asked, more bitterly than he intended.

Putting the cup down she frowned, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

“It clearly means something.”

A thought dawned on her.

“Are… are you… jealous?” she asked in disbelief.

“Are you kidding? Why the hell would I be jealous?” he scoffed. He took a gulp of his drink.

“Fine,” she shrugged her shoulders, not really caring. “Where’s your bathroom?”

“Down the hall to the left.”

She nodded her head once and pushed past party-goers in the direction he had advised.

In the bathroom she checked herself in the mirror. She tousled her hair, mind going back to her chat with Tom. What was up with him? Shaking her head, she rummaged through her purse for the tube of lipstick. Finding it, she removed the lid and applied a fresh coat. She pressed her lips together, evening out the colour. Just as she popped the lid back on, the door opened.

“Occupied,” she called out.

“It’s me,” Tom stepped in, closing the door behind him.

“Oh. I was just leaving anyway.”

Zipping up her purse, she took one final glance at the mirror.  She saw Tom in the corner of her eye and bit her lower lip. He was wearing a black tee emphasising the muscles in his arms. His jaw was clenched and she noticed how sharp it was. She swallowed.

“Am I making you nervous?” he asked curiously.

“Of course not,” she forced herself to make eye contact, hoping she exuded more confidence than she was feeling.

“You seem nervous,” he took a step towards her.

She took a step back.

“Why would I be nervous? If I recall correctly, you were the one who sounded jealous earlier. Do I make you nervous?” she countered, trying to gain the upper hand.

“Not at all, and that wasn’t jealousy,” he continued to move towards her.

“What was it then?” her back hit the wall.

He was standing awfully close now. He filled her senses, sight, smell, hearing. She met his stare, refusing to look away first.

“It was frustration.”

“At what?” she almost whispered.

“At wanting to do this.”

He cupped her face and crashed his mouth against hers. Once she recovered from her initial shock, she found herself kissing him back. The rigidity of her body seeped away as they melded into each other. She reached up and wrapped her hands around his neck, pulling him closer. His hands dropped down to her back where they slipped further lower to her ass.

He lifted her up effortlessly and she wrapped her legs around his waist. Their kiss was messy and passionate as everything they had been holding in came flooding out. He sat her on the edge of the sink and stood between her legs with his hands on her thighs. Her dress had ridden up and the heat of his palms seared her bare skin. He slid one hand up and gripped her hip while the other remained on her leg. He leaned forward, pushing her back and she threw an arm behind to find a purchase to support herself. She accidentally knocked over a bottle but they barely noticed it clattering to the floor. Her legs hugged his waist she gripped his shoulder with her right hand.

Needing a breath, Tom broke the kiss, moving his lips down her jaw to her neck. Her head fell back, exposing her throat and she let out a moan as he found her sweet spot. She tangled her fingers in the curls at the nape of his neck, her other arm snaking back over his shoulder. She was lost in bliss. She was breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling.

“Tom,” she moaned his name. Egged on by the sounds falling from her lips, he brought a hand up and slipped the spaghetti strap from her shoulder. He kissed down past her collarbone and along the soft skin of her shoulder.

All of a sudden there was a knock at the door.

“Mate?”

It was Haz.

“Fuck,” Tom cursed, as they separated. He stepped back and went to the door, not looking at her.

She, in turn, slipped off the sink and wiggled her dress back down to an appropriate length. She pushed her hair out of her face and turned to the mirror above the sink. Her lipstick was smeared across her mouth and her cheeks were flushed.

He opened the door.

“Yes, mate?” annoyance in his tone.

Haz’s mouth fell open in surprise when he saw Tom, but then he noticed her in the bathroom behind him. He smirked.

“Uh, you’ve got a little something…,” he repeated his words from earlier in the day.

“Huh?” Tom walked over to the sink where she was still standing.

He too, had her lipstick smudged over his mouth and chin. He dropped his head, shaking it.

“Wait ‘til I tell Kat,” Haz said gleefully, running off in the direction of the living room.

She looked at Tom. Then she went to the door and closed it. He turned to her when he heard the click of the lock.

“What are you doing?”

“We weren’t done.”


Tagging: @spideyontherun 

How To Attract What You Desire

Before you begin:

• Know what you want. What you really want. And don’t think of “how” you’ll get it.
• Write the desire in present tense on a card. It is now your goal card.
• Carry this card with you and read it often. This is putting the desire into your subconscious mind.
• Check if your goal is really what you want. Can you imagine bigger? Are you letting fear stop you? Are you answering your soul’s calling with this?

Night:

• How you fall asleep determines what shows up in your life. Everytime. Without fail. So we start our day how we fell asleep the night before, actually. Ask your self one question before you sleep: “If my wishes were fulfilled, how would I feel?” Fall asleep to that question satisfied.
• Record an MP3 or voice note of your OWN voice, reciting positive affirmations. Get examples online but personalize them. Your subconscious mind trusts your own voice. Use it.
• Never ever let yourself fall asleep feeling stress or failure. Don’t invite it in.

Morning:

• When your eyes open, set your intention for the day.
• Did you have any dreams last night? Write them down.
• Write 5 things you’re grateful for. Increase to 10 after a while and begin to include wishes that are yet to manifest e.g. “I’m grateful I now weigh __”

Day:

• Read Think And Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. (PDF’s online) Read slowly and reflectively.
• Read Feeling Is The Secret by Neville Goddard (PDF’s online)
• The Secret book/DVD is great for beginners but you’re going to have to dig deeper to pull this off.
• Do what makes you smile. Read, play your music, call a friend, go for walks. Do whatever you can to lighten your mood.
Write about your desire as if it’s already happened.
Visualize your life ASSUMING the desire has already happened. How do you feel? What are you wearing? Where are you? Was manifesting easy and fun?

Remember:

Bruce Lee, Jim Carrey, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Oprah Winfrey, Big Sean, Conor McGregor and countless others have used this formula. It works, and it will work for you.

Share this post. You never know who might be waiting to see it. And for powerful & affordable coaching click here.

Suga Daddy: Part 11

Suga Daddy: Part 11 (m)

Word count: 8.3k

Genre/Warnings: smut, angst, language, dom!Yoongi, choking and dirty talk

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Summary: Yoongi comes with you to Jungkook’s graduation.

I think there might be just a few chapters left. 

Parts: {playlist} one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten

Keep reading

He Has A Breakdown~BTS Scenario

Request are open!


Jin

Originally posted by bwiseoks

It wasn’t a good day from the start for Jin, he woke up an hour late to an empty bed. He wasn’t able to eat breakfast before practice or show from the dance practice the night before. So it was no surprise when you came home for a long day he was laying on the couch with a worried Namjoon standing above him. “What happened?” You mumble as he walks to you, grabbing his things as you kick your shoes off.


“Fainted, he hasn’t eaten all day and woke up late, and end up being late for practice.” His words made you frown and nod, as you open the door for him.


“Thank you Namjoon.” You smile making him bow.


“Take care of him,Noona.” You nod as he walks away, as you shut the door you hear a graon. Walking to the couch you bend down and cup his face. He looks at you with a frown, his eyes fluttering as he let out a breath. His hand leaning closer to the palm of you hand he starts to shake lightly.


“Oh baby.” You whisper as he rolls to his side. Grabbing onto your arm,your other one foing around him as you kiss the side of his head. “Warm bath?” You whisper making him nod, “Did Namjoon feed you anything?” Again a nod. “Okay, let me get the warm bath all ready for you.


"Thank you.” He whimpers as you let yous lips touch his, a smile spreading on his lips but falling once you left him.


“I’ll be back.” Your words seems to bring him peace as you start to fill the tub. A hum leaving your lips as you hear a groan. Turning around you see a half naked Jin leaning against the doorway. “I could’ve gotten you.”


“Not broken, just tried.” He whispers leaning against the counter of the bathroom. “Can you help me with my pants?” His question made you stand up as you untie them, slolwy pullung them and his boxers down. “Join me?” A amile spreeds across your face as you nod. Slipping out of your clothing you help him in, soon following. Your back pressed agains his chest as you take deep breaths. “I love you.”



Suga

Originally posted by sugaa

All day, everyday for the past month and half Yoongi has been sleeping at the stuido. Bearly coming home, the comback slolwy taking him from his human life. Of course you understood it, you had too when dating him, work will be number one at times. Most nights, well more like every night, you were with him. Alseep on the couch with Holly on your stomach. But one night you weren’t able to come till late. Which you see now wasn’t the best choice.


Min Yoongi is a patient, and claim guy. But with the stress of the comback, both musically and physically he didn’t think he could do it all. So having you there in the studio helped him. When he panicked or got frustrated he’d look to you. With you slightly parted lips and messy hair somehow helped him. But tonight when he panicked you weren’t there. So when you come in, food in hand and a smile on your face you see his body curled into a ball. His freashly died blue hair a tangled mess, and his eyes puffy and face read. Placing your food down you slolwy walk to him.


“Yoongi?” Your voice made his head snap up, a whimper leaving his body and he throws himself at you making you fall onto your back. His body ontop of yours as his head nuzzled into your neck. Yous hand gripping his sweater as he violently shakes in your arms.


“Yo-you weren’t here.” He whispers making you tighten your hold onto him, “I needed t-to talk to you an-”


“I know, and I’m sorry baby.” You whisper, lips touching the crown of his head. “But I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere.”



J-Hope

Originally posted by hose0k

The slamming of the front door made you jump from your spot on the couch. Your eyes widen when you saw a pale looking Hoseok. His eyes met yours and tears begin to fall, making you quickly stand up and catch him before he falls to his knees. Somehow your body doesn’t give out as you hold his shaking body in your hands. Slolwy bringing him to the couch as you place him down he grips your shrit. His hand clinging to you as he shakes, making you fall into his lap.


“Shhh…I’ve got you.” You whisper, lips pressed to his temple as you hold him close to you. His hand resting on your back, gripping the fabric that covers you.


“Bad recording day.” He whispers after a few minutes, you nod as you went to move be he held onto you. Keeping you where you say. “Stay here for a little while longer.” He whispers as you look down at him, his chin resting on your chest aa you run your hand through his hair.


“As long as you want.”




Rap Monster

Originally posted by mn-yg

Being the leader of one of the biggest K-Pop groups is tough enough, but being Rap Monster and Namjoon at the same time as being BTS great leader was harder. He was a people pleasure, loved to make peple happy, to make thwm feel love. But sometimes he’d forget to love himself,leading to him breaking. So it was no surprise to you when walked into your bedroom to see him just laying there. Eyes looking the the ceiling, body wrapped in a sweatshirt you’ve stolen one to many time, and eyes puffy and red. Laying next ro him you two sit in silence, when he opens his mouth. “You know the ancient Egyptians believe in a better life after death and being mummified is the only way to get there. When they die, they would place all of their favorite things with them in their tomb so it would come with them. If an Emperor died it whole court would sacrifice their lives to join him.” He mumbles making you squint your eyebrow as you turn your head to him.


“What the fuck was that?”


“Something I remembered for school..” he sigh rolling onto his side to face you. You body follows as he reaches ovee and cups your face. “Greek God and Goddes-”


“Shut up.” You mumble pulling him into a kiss, “You always put out facts when you get like this.” You whisper making him frown, but a smile rises in his face a second later.


“You always give me back rubs wh-”


“Fine.”


Jimin

Originally posted by jjks

You woke up to his bare back, his eyes having bags under them as he let out deep breaths. You reached forward to touch his back only leading him to jump away from your touch. “Just.. please don’t touch me right now.” He whispers rushing to the bathroom slamming and locking the door.You were left there eyes wide, and your heart beating out of your chest. So you decide to get up out of bed, throwing one of his sweatshrit over you tangtop covered body. His smell wraps around you, walking to the kitcgen you couldn’t help but let your mind go as you cook. Different scenarios about what had gotten Jimin so upset run through your mind. A hand slids across your back making you jump, there Jimin stood, two plates in hand. He nods at you, as you place food on both, taking then to the table you move to sit with him. Sitting in silence, you eat toll his fork just drop as he pushes the food away.


“Jimin?” You question, his body was shaking, his eyes close as a tears fell down his face.


“I shouldn’t have eate-” You stop him by reaching over the table and taking his hand in yours. “Don-”


“Shut up, and tell me what going on?” He lets out a puff as air as he take his hand from me to cover his face.


“I weighed myself…” He whispered making you stand up and walk to him. Arms wrapping around his neck as he grips you arm. “I jusy don’t…I-” he stops as his brrathing becomes rapid as his grip tightens on you. His sobs made hus body shake as he let out small cries of pain. “I need to be a certain weig-”


“No you don’t. ” you mumble making him sigh, “You’re thinner then me….Do you want to do morning workouts togther, since if you need to lose weight then I clearly do t-.” His body jerks around and covers my mouth.


“Don’t even go there.” He grumble glaring at you, “You’re perfect.” He look up at you his hands going around you eaist as your whip the tears from hiss face.


“So are you….but I’m beeing seriou-”


“We are not working out togther.”


“Why?”


“You know why.”


V

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

Laughter filled the air of the studio, your body laying on a couch with your boyfriend Taehyung who has hus hed against your chest. Your hand was going through hus hair whne all of a sudden Suga came in and ask if he could record his part of the song again. Your bodyfriend sighed by got up anyway, his lip tocuing the bottom of your jaw before he left making you both smile as Jungkook gagged. About half hour later Suga came in wih a worried look, you body sitting up in a split second when you hear a slught cry the a crash. You rush past Suga Jungkook trailing behind you wheb you see it. Your boyfriend sitting on the ground, hair a mes and eyes puffy. Looking behind you to see Jungkook wide eyes, it made you break a little. “I got this.” You mumbled to the two boys, they bothe bodded and left. Your bent down to Taes leavel then brought you unto you chest. His body shaking as he hang onto you.


“Why cant I be like the other guy? They all have thrse soft voices then the-”


“Shut up."you mumbled pressing your lips to the side of his face "You make this band have an edge , giving them a base type voicw. Its sext too.” Your words made him smile as he nodded his face hiding in your neck when Suag and Kook come in veiw. “He’s all good.”


Jungkook

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid

It was abnormal for you thing for you to go to seelp on your own. Jungkook hating you sleeping alone so he always found ways to sleep next to you. So waking up in the middle of the night to an empty bed was a surprise to you. Leaving the bedroom to find Jungkook leanning against the wall made you jump. Faced flushed, hair a tangled mess body shaking as his breath rapid as he let out small sobs. “Jungkook?!” You ask with a gasp as you bend down to touch him making him let out a cry. He falls into your arms as he holds onto you his muscles tense as your lips touch the side of his face. “Baby breath for me. Please.” You whisper as your hand wrap around his head. His hand hanging into your torso. As he slows his brething he starts to speak.


“I didn’t w-want you to sl-sleep alone.” He whimpers making your frown as you sigh.“I was so tried and I just paniced.”


“It’s okay baby if your to tired, and you can’t leave text me. I’ll come to you okay?” Feeling him nod you kiss his forehead making him sigh. “I love you.”

⇁ tessellate | 01

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

sequel to nudes, not flowers with more angst and more filth

pairing⇁Hoseok x Reader x Jungkook

genre⇁smut, slight angst || fuckboi!au

warnings⇁public indecency, cumplay, exhibitionism, rough sex, dom/sub undertones, dom!junghope, jealousy, mentions of infidelity, sex in front of a mirror, oh n light daddy kink 

word count⇁15k

“ Triangles are my favorite shape
Three points where two lines meet.” (tessellate)

Triangles are supposed to be the strongest and most stable of all geometric shapes. You wonder how true this statement is if applied to real life situations. The way you see it: triangles aren’t a reliable structure for relationships, especially if the parties you’re involved with find commitment to be a foreign concept. 

or : a fuckboy’s guide to polyamory 

start | 01

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Delivery Boy

Jeon Jungkook of BTS x reader (Y/N) smut. Plain and simple.

Originally posted by jimiyoong



Halloween, your favourite time of the year. You had always loved dressing up, even as a little girl.
Your family had always hosted a Halloween party and just because you were now an adult and off at school, it didn’t mean you were going to stop the party. Hell no. If anything, you knew it’d be crazier than any party your parents could throw, after all, it’d be full of young adults getting drunk in fancy dress and no doubt fucking in any corner they could.
You made a mental note to lock your bedroom door before people started to turn up.

Most of your housemates had gone off to different parties around the city and only one remained, Taehyung.
He had been almost as excited for the party as you and insisted on helping you plan and set it all up. He also insisted you went in matching outfits, dressed as an old-fashioned couple he saw in a painting in the loft that thoroughly creeped him out. That painting was now the pride of place above the drinks table for the duration of Halloween month, as you called it.
Taehyung hadn’t entered the living room since you put it up and it always amused you seeing him avoid it at all costs.

“Get the door Y/N!” Taehyung yelled from his room where he was well, you didn’t know what but you didn’t want to even question it after the last time you did and he went into explicit detail about the fantasy he was having while masturbating.

You groaned but dragged yourself to answer the front door, having barely heard it over the music you had playing.

On the other side of the door stood a male with dark hair and brown, doe eyes. He was wearing a pizza delivery uniform, a piece of paper in his hands.

“You’re early.” You mumbled, taking in his outfit. “Pizza delivery guy, huh? Honestly never seen that one before.” You mused, flashing the attractive stranger a grin. He blinked a few times then showed you the paper. “Wait, you’re actually a delivery guy?”

“Yeah.” He nodded slowly. “Am I at the wrong place?”

“No, I just wasn’t aware we ordered anything. One sec.” You backed up into the hallway to stand at the bottom of the stairs. “Yah! Did you order pizza?!” You yelled. Taehyung grunted back a yes in response, sounded breathless. “Ew.” You shuddered and returned tot he door. “Guess you definitely are.” She looked at the paper, reading the order. “How fucking much did he order?”

“Having a party, I assume?” He chuckled, looking at your outfit up and down.

“Nah, I just like dressing like a sexually frustrated Victorian woman in my spare time.” He let out a breath of understanding.

“We all have our kinks.” He teased and you gasped, reaching out to nudge him in faux offence. He giggled and you couldn’t help but smile, laughing to yourself.

Were you really flirting with the delivery guy?
You looked him over again, slower to really take in every inch of his being.
Yes. You were definitely flirting with the delivery guy.

“So, should I start bringing it up?” He asked, pointing over his shoulder to the car parked on the road.

“Oh right, yeah, I’ll help.”

“Okay.” He grinned, glad for the help and together, you ferried the takeout from the car and into the kitchen.

He looked down curiously as you set up the boxes on the counters, around already existing food displays.

“Wow, you guys really like Halloween, huh?” He spoke, looking at all the decorations in awe. A lot of which you had made by hand the months before ass it was cheaper than buying some that probably wouldn’t even fit your ideas anyway.

“We hate it.”

“You’re really sarcastic, huh?”

“Never.” You looked at him then to see him grinning at you in amusement. “You know, you kind of look familiar.” You tilted your head at him, knitting your brows together.

“So do you. Maybe we’ve crossed paths before?” He suggested, looking as lost as you felt trying to recall why you felt like you’d seen him before.

“Yeah maybe. Do you go to school here?”

“On campus?” He pointed to the floor, signifying the campus your house resided on.

“Nah, I meant the playschool down the road. You’re a child, right?” He squared his eyes, giving you a playful warning glance. “Aw, isn’t it cute when little boys think they can scare grown-ups?” A gasp of surprise left your lips when he suddenly closed the gap between you, your chests almost touching, his head tilted down to look at you menacingly, a glint in his eyes that sent shivers down your spine.

“Want to call me a little boy again, huh?” He challenged, licking his lips. “See where it gets you.”

“Oh, honey.” You scoffed, snapping back to yourself. You bravely took the last step between you, your toes touching, your chest gently pushed against his, not missing how he inhaled sharply and flicked his tongue out to wet his lips again. “You can’t be suggesting you can make me take back my words.” He nodded confidently. “Oh little boy, you can’t make me do shit.”

“Watch me.” He growled cockily before pushing you against the wall, his lips crashing to yours.

He had only knocked your door ten minutes previous and here you were making out with the delivery guy in a room chock full of sexual tension you two quickly created.
He let out a breathy moan when you bit his bottom lip gently. It was the single hottest thing you had ever heard and you knew you were wet.

“Fuck, is this seriously a thing that is actually happening?” You panted out, looking up into his eyes that were suddenly a lot darker, turning you on further.

“I really hope so.” He confessed.

“Fuck, me too.” You nodded and pulled him back down to lock your lips together, wasting no time and flicking your tongue out. He parted his lips and your tongues met, rubbing together earning moans from the both of you.

“When does your party start?” He asked when your lips parted only for yours to trace that intense, sharp jawline of his.

“Seven.” He checked his watch.

“It’s half six.”

“Plenty of time.” Without warning, he picked you up and sat you on his hips, pushing his body to yours. You gasped feeling his growing erection through all the layers of clothing between you.

“Okay I know this outfit probably took a lot of time but you need to take it off before I fucking rip it off.” He warned, practically growling as he glared at the layers of fabric that made up your skirt. You giggled and reached around to pull on the ribbon holding the back closed. He watched in impatient fascination ad you quickly removed the bottom half of your dress, leaving you in the tight blouse and underwear.
“I shouldn’t find this as hot as I do but fuck, I really do.” You giggled and circled your hips, rubbing against the large bulge in his trousers making him moan lowly.

“I can tell.” You teased.

“You’re saying I’m the only one turned on right now? Because I can feel how wet you are through my pants, sweetheart.” Your cheeks flushed in embarrassment.
Surely he was lying, it wasn’t possible to feel such a thing, right?
A shakey moan left your lips when he slid a hand between your bodies to touch his long fingers to your clothes heat.
“Oh, babygirl, you’re fucking soaked.” He cooed, smirking at you when your cheeks darkened. “Don’t be embarrassed."He pressed teasing kisses across your jaw as his voice dropped, whispering to you in a tone that was so low it shot straight to your core. "It’s so fucking hot.” He growled before his lips attached to your neck, sucking on the skin. You gasped and gripped his shoulders, fingers digging in when his fingers started to rub at you through your damp underwear.

“Wh-what’s your name?” You stuttered, his fingers hooking under your underwear to touch you directly. Your eyes closed and your head tipped back, absentmindedly grinding your hips down onto his digits as they teased you.

“Hm? My name? Why do you want-”

“I want to know what I should moan out.”

“Jungkook.” He rushed out without hesitation making you chuckle. “What’s your’s?”

“Y/N.” He hummed against your neck before saying your name in a breathy tone that made you moan his name back at him.

“My name sounds perfect coming from your lips.” Your legs tightened around him when he slid a finger into you. “God, you’re so fucking wet, my finger just slides right in. I bet you can take another huh Y/N? Think you can take more princess?” You nodded and a second finger followed his first. You moaned and held him tighter as they curled inside of you.

“J-Jungkook.” You almost pleaded breathlessly.

“Hm?”

“I-I don’t want your fingers.” He stopped his movements, ceasing abusing your walls with the pads of his fingers in search for your g-spot.

“What?” He looked rejected and leant back slightly, pulling his fingers out of you. “Should I leave?”

“No.” You laughed and brushed your lips over his. “I want your cock, baby.” His eyes sparked with lust again and he nodded. He put you down to unbuckle his belt, hands fumbling in anticipation. You giggled seeing he was growing frustrated with the button on his jeans that just wouldn’t open. You put your hands over his and opened the fly easily. He dropped his hands to his side, licking his dry lips, eyes not leaving your figure as you lowered onto your knees in front of him, pulling down his jeans as you went until they were around his knees.
Your eyes lifted to meet his gaze as you pulled down his boxers too. He bit his lip and threaded his fingers into your hair to tug you closer suggestively.
It was clear what he wanted you to do, where he wanted you but he didn’t want to make you do anything you weren’t comfortable with.

A smirk lifted your lips and you stuck your tongue out, flattening it against the underside of his erection before licking from the base upwards, swirling your tongue around the tip. Jungkook moaned, his fingers gripping your hair tighter. His eyes wanted to close and focus on the pleasure but you looked so damn sinful on your knees in front of him like that he couldn’t pass up the chance to drink in the sight.

It didn’t take long for your teasing motions on his erection to really wind him up. He was breathing heavily, body tensed, watching to thrust into your mouth but not following his body’s wishes, by the time she gripped your shoulders and pulled you up to your feet.

He spun you and pushed you against the wall. Your hands flew out to slap against the brickwork making you hiss in pain. But the hurt left almost instantly. Jungkook all but ripped your panties in his rush to get them off.

One large hand gripped your bare hip to hold you still, pull your arse towards him more.

Jungkook grabbed his dick with his free hand and allowed himself a few pumps, spreading his precum up and down his length, as he took in the sight of you bent over, braced against the wall with legs spread, waiting for him to fuck you.
As soon as his tip lined with your entrance, he started to push forward, entering you slowly.
Satisfied moans left both your lips at the feeling. It felt as if you had been waiting for that moment for a long time, months not way under an hour.

Jungkook’s hips met yours as he bottomed out and he allowed you both a few moments to get used to it, soak in the feeling of him filling you so deliciously before he started to rock his hips.
His thrusts were slow and pretty shallow at first, testing the waters before he picked up his rhythm, fucking you harder and deeper than anyone had in a long time.

Your fingers scraped against the wall, moans shamelessly leaving your parted lips as he hit deep within you.

Jungkook had his jaw clenched tight, trying to make as little noise as possible. As much as he was enjoying himself, he was almost enjoying hearing your noises of pleasure just as much.

You realised you could only hear the occasional grunt of effort from him and closed your mouth, sulking.

“W-what’re you doing?” He panted, slowing down slightly to talk without his voice breaking too much.

“I want to hear you.” You spoke.

“What?” He chuckled and fell still. You pushed up slightly and looked over your shoulder at him. He licked his lips at your dark expression, his hips shallowly thrusting into you again without him even really registering so.

“I want to hear how good you feel Jungkook. Moan for me baby.” You encouraged.

“You want that?”

“So fucking much.” He pulled your back to his chest making you whimper as he reached a new, better spot inside you, to kiss you heavily.
You moaned into his mouth when he returned to snapping his hips into you.
You had to pull out of the kiss, unable to focus on it when he was hitting the perfect spot inside you that made you see spots.

“You’re so fucking hot.” He moaned, wrapping one arm around your waist and pressing his palm against your chest to keep you against him int hat position. His other hand reached over to rest against the wall once he had moved you both forward before his hips went fucking wild.

You were practically screaming in pleasure, your nails dragging down his forearm, leaving red marks. Jungkook was certain you had even broken the skin but it only spurred him on.

“Fu-fuck, Jungkook.” You whined, your legs starting to shake.

“Are you going to cum?” He panted into your ear, his hot breath making you shiver as it fanned over your neck. You nodded. “Good, cum on my cock like a good girl, Y/N.”
A loud moan left your lips as the pleasure in your stomach exploding sending your hips jutting as your orgasm hit you.

Jungkook gritted his teeth, determined to last a little longer despite your walls clenching and spasming around him. But the second you moaned his name, he lost it and his hips slammed against you roughly a few times as he came, squeezing his eyes tight and burying his face in your neck.

Your walls clenched a little tighter at the sound of your name falling from his lips like a fucked out mantra.

Slowly, you both came down from your highs and caught your breath back.
Jungkook’s face scrunched into a wince against your neck as he pulled out of you before letting you go, a little reluctantly it felt, to pull his clothing back up and tuck himself away.

“Well, that’s the best tip I’ve ever gotten.” He sniggered and you rolled your eyes before laughing too, collecting your clothing. You turned to look at him sternly upon finding a hole in your underwear, at the waistband.

“Jungkook!” You exclaimed. He looked at the garment before grinning sheepishly at you. “These are my favourite ones!”

“I’m sorry, I’ll replace them.” He offered, taking them from your hand quickly to look them over. You ignored him to put your skirt back on, glad it was floor length and there was no chance anyone would know you were without underwear.

“Right, okay.” You held your hand out. He held the item closer. “You’re seriously going to steal my ripped underwear?”

“I need them so I know what I’m replacing.” He argued. You gave him a disbelieving look. “Like you want them back now they’re ripped anyway.” He scoffed and tucked the item into his pocket. You simply rolled your eyes again. “I should get back to work. I still have another delivery to do. My boss is going to kill me for being late. They’re going to get free pizzas now.” He sighed heavily.

“I’m sorry for letting you fuck me.” You retorted and he chuckled at your sarcasm.

“Never apologise for that. I’ll give away all the pizzas free if I can fuck you again.” You bit your lip, pretending to think as you walked him tot he front door. “So, can I see you again?” He asked turning back to walk tot he door after walking down the porch steps.

“You do owe me underwear.” You grinned. He grinned back and nodded. He checked his watch before looking between his car and you, debating something. He rushed over and held your face to press a heavy, lingering kiss to your lips.
“What’s that? So I don’t forget what you taste like?” You joked.

“Always leave them wanting more.” He winked then practically ran to his car to speed off for his next delivery.
You rolled your eyes and returned to the house, stopping at the hallway mirror to check your reflection and make yourself presentable.

“Did you just fuck the delivery guy?” You jumped hearing Taehyung’s teasing voice at the stairs. You looked over at him with a smirk and he started to cackle. “That’s my girl!” He high fived you before helping you get back into costume properly.

***

It was two hours later when you stopped in shock, seeing a familiar face stood at the bottom of the stairs with Taehyung, the pair goofing around with some of Taehyung’s other friends.
You had just come up from the haunted house in the basement.

“There she is!” Taehyung cooed spotting you. The boys all turned to look at you, the friends of Taehyung’s you had met pulling you to them in drunken affection.

“Alright, boys.” You laughed pulling away to stand between Taehyung and the familiar face.

“Oh, you haven’t met before, have you?” Taehyung drawled, shuffling drunkenly to lean against the stair railing. “This is Kookie.” He spoke pointing to your right, at Jungkook. You looked at him to see he was already smirking at you.

“Ah, the infamous Kookie.” You spoke nodding slowly. “Tae tells me you have like no balls when it comes to girls.” Their friends laughed as you insulted Jungkook. You smirked and he raised his eyebrows at you.

“Guess you know that’s a load of shit.” He replied, voice low.

The conversation was quickly pulled away from you two as Hoseok screamed as a fake spider landed on his head. Everyone erupted in laughter as he ran off to chase the culprit, promising their head on a spear.
The remaining group returned to the conversation, not even noticing as Jungkook moved closer to you and slyly put a hand on your arse.

“Still not wearing any panties huh? Naughty girl.” He teased, groping your flesh roughly.

“I’m not and it makes it that much harder to stop your cum running down my leg.” Jungkook sucked in a breath at that and you looked up at him bravely, not caring that your friends could catch you two flirting so openly, sexual tension already building between your close bodies. “I bet you’d like to see that, hm? Your cum spilling out of me.”

“So fucking much.”

You smirked and excused yourself, walking up to your room.
You knew Jungkook would follow shortly and you had a feeling every orgasm he gave you was going to be better than the last and you’d be damned if you weren’t going to take every chance to fuck your delivery boy.


For my girl @btsmuttin, hope you like it baby

Originally posted by nojamsdirtywater


~Chee

Eight Months.

Even eight months after the break up, Harry still felt the overwhelming urge to check up on you and your life. He would check your social media accounts a few times a week, more so before going to bed when thoughts of you plagued his mind. It felt naughty, wrong in a way; after all, it was him who ended your two year relationship.

*

“It’s never going to change, Harry! Things will always be the same! You ‘forgot’ my birthday and you spent the day with Kendall. You ‘forgot’ our date night and you spent the evening with Cara. I know it’s what the media want and expect from you, and I know management want you to do this, but I think you want to as well” you sigh, the words you had held for so long in your mouth now finally spilling out.

“You’re joking, right? That was a joke? You seriously think I want to spend any spare time I have with Kendall or Cara over you? Management need me to do this, if I don’t, I can kiss goodbye to my pay cheque! Half the things I do in this job is for you! How the fuck else would you get the latest handbags and purses and shoes?! Who else is going to pay for your education? Because I don’t see you or your family offering to cough up!” he spits almost bitterly.

You gasp in shock at his words. He knew your financial situation at home and that your parent’s worked so bloody hard to provide for you, but it just wasn’t enough. Your future career depended on your qualifications, and those qualifications could only be acquired in higher education in which Harry had offered to pay for, before he knew anything about the money side of things.

“Really, Harry? That’s how you feel? You think I’m with you for the money? I don’t give a damn about the shoes or bags and purses or latest fashion trends. I love you because you’re my boyfriend and I see myself living the rest of my life with you. I don’t love you because you’re Harry Styles from One Direction!” you spit back, your words truthful.

“I’ve heard that one before” he tells you, his eyes averting to the floor.

“So now you’ve got trust issues with me? Other girls may have treated you like that in the past, but I’m not like other girls, Harry. Two years we’ve been together and you really think that of me? When you guys broke up as a band, and you didn’t know what was going to happen to your music career, who was the one sitting up with you every night holding you whilst you cried? Other girls would have run a mile because of the uncertainty of your future. I love you even if you have nothing!” you shout at him.

Harry shrugs his shoulders and bites his lip. “Look, it’s not even just this causing arguments. They’ve been going on for a while and maybe having Kendall and Cara as friends is something you can’t handle. But I can’t live my life like this anymore. I’m done arguing with you all the time” he tells you softly.

“You’re making it sound like I don’t want you having friends, which isn’t true. I want you to put me first, like you did at the start of our relationship. You would have done anything back then for me, Harry. I hate arguing with you too. Maybe if we arrange some sort of schedule and arrange dates in advance to see each other?” you suggest.

Harry shakes his head. “I think it’s too little too late, (Y/N).”

You frown, your bottom lip beginning to quiver as you ask the dreaded question. “Are you breaking up with me.”

Harry’s eyes avert to the floor once more and the silence between you both speaks more volumes than words ever could.

*

Your Instagram account had been almost inactive for the first month after the break up, with only the occasional bog-standard photos of new make-up purchases and Starbucks coffee. But no selfies and nothing that indicated any happiness in your life. After three months, your social media accounts portrayed some happiness returning to your life as you took selfies with friends on regular nights out, but Harry knew as well as anyone that social media is one massive cover up for reality. Were you really actually happy? Were you living or were you just alive?

It seemed to him that your life continued to appear happy, but after four months of opening the app, he noticed someone by your side. Photograph after photograph, upload after upload, this person would be stood next to you. You had a side when taking photos with Harry, but now somebody else was standing on Harry’s side, taking his place, standing where he should be standing. Then tagging each other on Twitter began taking place. Simple things such as “coffee dates” and memes.

Five months after the messy break up, Harry sighted a picture of the two of you kissing; you and your new beau, as it was publicised. Your lips on his, no doubt his tongue down your throat and he wanted to vomit. It didn’t make social media, but it made the headlines in the news. The media had left you alone a little while after the break up, but of course, a new relationship for you meant gossip amongst the public, especially One Direction fans and Harry girls, and the tabloids couldn’t resist the opportunity.

Upon reaching seven months, Harry noticed another change in you on social media. You were becoming more and more inactive by the day, rarely replying to tweets and the amount of photographs posted reduced. Anybody else would put it down to business in studying and spending time with loved ones, but Harry knew how much you had loved your interactions on social media, and something didn’t sit quite right with him. But then he remembered that he’s not yours and you’re not his, and you have someone else taking care of you now.

*

Eight months later, and Harry still had you on his mind almost every minute of the day. He would awake in the morning with the help of his alarm but your hair wasn’t sprawled across the pillows as he would expect; he no longer bothered eating breakfast in the mornings; gone are the days when he used keep something warm on the stove for you, for when you awoke, ensuring you had something warm for your hungry tummy in the mornings; he had nobody to send a morning text to. His routine was completely out of sync and nothing over the last few months made it any better.

He would come home every evening to an empty apartment. He had nobody to cook dinner for. He had nobody to talk to about his day. He had nobody to snuggle up to at night. He had nobody to kiss. He had nobody to love and he had nobody to love him.

Some nights would be simple; Harry would climb into bed and flick on the television, watching a favourite film in which he no longer got pleasure out of. He’d check his social media, and then check yours, before setting his alarm and falling asleep, his dreams of you haunting him throughout the night.

Other nights, he’d yearn for you. He loved you, still loves you, and wants nothing more than to hold you whilst you sleep and keep you safe in his embrace. But he would yearn for you in other ways too, awakening in the night from happy dreams of you, his cock hard for you. He would lay awake between the sheets, grinding his hips into them and rubbing himself vigorously as he imagined being inside of you. He would let himself go completely when he could imagine the moans that would leave your lips, the breathlessness you would encounter, and it was as though he could almost feel you come around him.

He hadn’t been in another relationship since the split, but there had been a couple of one night stands. In a way to get over you, ironically, he would fuck others that had similar traits to you. The same hair colour, the same laugh, the same smile. But neither of those girls were you. He didn’t really want them, they just happened along with the alcohol consumption of both parties involved. After two girls, he stopped. He wasn’t sure if it was the reality of the situation that made him stop, or if it was the slap he received one night.

*

The music was pounding against the speaker, the DJ’s were screaming out and giving shoutouts, mostly for people’s birthday’s and other celebrations, bartenders were leaning over the bar in an attempt to actually hear what the customers were ordering in the club, and everyone was like sardines, squashed together, but everyone seemed to be enjoying it and having a good time. Everyone except Harry.

He occasionally moved around and shuffled his feet in an attempt to dance, but he felt so lost without you there. He kept an eye out to see if you were around, almost forgetting that you didn’t go there together. He always used to keep an eye on you, making sure you were safe on the dance floor and that no drunken men took advantage of you. He was your protector. 

“What’s your name?” a young blonde asked. That was the only thing that was same about the two of you. You’re blonde and so was she. But she wasn’t you. Harry wasn’t too sure if she was just acting oblivious to the fact that he was the most famous, most well-known person in the club, or whether she was just so drunk that she barely knew her own name, let alone his.

“Harry” he told her, placing his hand on the small of her back and pulling her closer so as they could hear each other’s spoken words over the thumping music.

The girl nods. “Louise” she tells him. “Fancy getting out of here?” she asks. 

Harry nods. He realises she’s not as drunk as he thought she was, but taking in her features, she looked a few years older than him. Maybe she really didn’t know who he was.

“Mine or yours?” she asks as they stumble out of the nightclub and onto the streets of London. Louise quickly hails a taxi as Harry replies, “yours.”

Whilst his own place seemed more appealing as he wouldn’t have the awkward ‘leaving after a shag’ stage, he didn’t want to take her, or anyone, to his bed. Only you got the privilege to be in his bed. He didn’t fuck anyone else in his bed, only you. He didn’t want anyone else to come in the sheets besides the two of you together and for each other.

The taxi ride back to hers was soon over and they stumbled through her apartment, his lips pressed to hers. Their eyes remained closed as he thought about you. Undressing you. Running his hands up and down your body and caressing your breasts as you laid all bare for him, for his eyes only.

Harry breathlessly pulls aways as he lifts up the miniskirt. They both quickly realise this is nothing more than sex up against the wall. She’s not taking him to bed either, and Harry wonders if Louise is also getting over someone. Within the next thought, he doesn’t care. He does’t love Louise. He loves (Y/N).

The blonde grabs at his belt, unbuckling it and unzipping his trousers, his length exposed to her. He quickly reaches into his back pocket before letting his trousers drop and rips open the packaging. Covering himself with the latex, he soon pushes himself into her. She gasps, taking him in, before moving quickly against him.

They’ve both been drinking and he knows his performance will be affected greatly, so he’s not surprised when he quickly comes inside of her, moaning her name. She gasps and he withdraws from her quickly. Before even getting the chance to dress himself, her hand collides with his cheek.

“Louise! I told you my name is Louise!” she yells at him angrily.

And in that moment, he realises that he moaned your name when he came.

*

He arrived home from the studio and continued his evening rituals. No work the following day meant he could have a later night and whilst he was glad to be able to sleep in later and not have the demands of an alarm clock, he knew from experience that on a day off where he lacked a busy schedule, you would be on his mind more than ever.

The night passed with Harry doing nothing more than eating his evening meal and lounging around in front of the television, flicking through channels to find something to entertain him for a few hours. He occasionally reached for the bottle of whiskey, pouring himself small measures each time. Whilst the drinking had become a regular habit a few months back, Harry had realised that drowning his problems with alcohol helped nobody, not even himself, and he kicked the habit almost as quickly as it had started. No amount of alcohol got you out of his head.

The comedy shows provided some entertainment, and whilst there were a few forced laughs, Harry did find some of the jokes genuinely funny. He couldn’t remember the last time he laughed properly.

Tapping his watch with a yawn, he checked the time. Flicking off the television set, he threw the remotes back on the sofa and picked his body up from the position he had been in for hours. A loud, repeated knock on the door made him jump slightly. The banging got harder and more frantic and he could only wonder who would be calling in on him at this hour. “Alright, I’m coming!” he yelled in frustration. Couldn’t his unwanted and unwelcome guest wait two minutes?!

Heading into the hallway, he unlocked the door, pouting his lips to express his emotion, making sure the person on the other side of it knew he was angry at the disturbance and the complete lack of respect for him and his property. As far as they were aware, he may well have had work the next morning. Swinging the door open,  he gasps, taking in the demeanour of the person standing in front of him, the sight almost killing him as bile rose in his stomach and a nauseous feeling took control of his body.

The Celebrity Magazine; Fall 2017 Issue
Chanyeol’s Interview

Question: You have a very strong image of optimism. Haven’t you ever wanted to break from that?
Chanyeol: When i was younger i thought my bright and optimistic image would create certain preconceptions for the music i wanted to compose, so i wanted to break away from the image, but these days i compose without thinking about that kind of thing. Because there is bound to be someone who enjoys that kind of music too. I’m living comfortably with that thought.

Question: I’ve heard that you got in trouble from your mother when you told her you wanted to raise a mouse that got caught in a mouse trap. Do you like animals?
Chanyeol: Animals are like family to me. I’ve always had animals with me since i was a child. These days i have no time to raise a pet because i’m busy, but i play with the dog at my parents’ place whenever i visit. Unfortunately i’ve developed a cat fur allergy which i didn’t have when i was younger, so i have to be careful.

Question: Your low voice is so nice to listen to. I’m curious about which songs you enjoy singing.
Chanyeol: I like singing. I sing Jung Jun Il sunbae-nim’s “Hug Me” a lot. I’ve even uploaded myself singing it in my own style. There are people who are surprised when i sing because they only know me as a rapper. Before i wanted to gain recognition for my singing, but these days i don’t feel that it’s necessary to worry myself like that.

Question: Not feeling the need to worry yourself can be seen as a sign of maturity. Was there a moment that caused it?
Chanyeol: My personality is rather impatient. I feel the need to do things immediately and feel anxious when i don’t. When i look at it i think the moment that helped me was all the bowling i did when i found myself with time to spare. I got impatient that i couldn’t control the bowl properly so clung to it for two months bowling until early morning, but i actually bowled better after a two month break when i went back with an easier mind. I control myself with the thought of ‘If i get it it’s good and if i don’t get it i’ll make it eventually’. Maybe it’s because personalities don’t change but i’m still impatient.

Question: Any songs that you find touching?
Chanyeol: I couldn’t understand them when i was younger but these days i really love songs by Black Skirt and Lee Sora sunbaenim. I was looking up their songs and suddenly found myself overcome with emotion, almost as though something was flowing into me.

Question: I’m curious about your current playlist.
Chanyeol: Amy Winehouse, Migos, Aerosmith, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC and more. There are also songs from the OST of the animation <Your Name>, which i watched recently.

Question: What did you like about <Your Name>?
Chanyeol: I like the subtle emotions that you find in Japanese films. I think i get pulled in very easily by the hooks Shinkai Makoto sets up. Of course the visuals are beautiful, but i really enjoyed the introduction of fantasy elements in a still realistic setting. The fact that the main protagonist went through a great deal of events but couldn’t remember any of it was sad.

Question: You debuted in 2012. Do you have any aspirations for your music as an idol of 5 years?
Chanyeol: EXO has always shown a new, trendy and constantly changing side of us in our own unique colours. You could see each member growing obviously for each album. I have faith in the company, so i believe that we will continue to grow in the future. I have a lot of passion for music personally too. At the moment i just want to enjoy myself with the music as it comes, without feeling as though i have to do something. It isn’t a greed from impatience, i could call it more of a greed to do better.

Question: Is there anything that influences your music?
Chanyeol: My surroundings. When i see someone who’s talented in music i want to be talented like them. I get the same desire when i meet an artist i respect or see a good performance. These days i pray alot before composing too. Praying helps me go into composing by letting me collect my thoughts and putting me in a calmer state.

Question: I’m curious about the artists you like.
Chanyeol: I’m a fan of Jamie Cullum. I like his voice and the way he plays the piano. I’m also a fan of pianist Yoon Suk Chul’s works. He’s so talented to the point where i think ‘he must be the god of piano’. I learn a lot from composing with him. I listen to a variety of genres but jazz and rock are my constants.

Question: You contributed in writing the lyrics of a song in your 4th official album. Is it an autobiographical story?
Chanyeol: No. ‘Sweet Lies’ is a story very far from me. I thought alot about what i would be like if i was a bad boy, but the style doesn’t really fit with me so it was a little difficult (laughs). G. Soul composed and wrote the lyrics for the frame of the song and when i first heard the melody i thought that kind of story would suit it.

Question: You’ve been called a ‘face prodigy’. What do you think when you look into the mirror.
Chanyeol: I admit it (laughs) I feel proud occasionally when i look in the mirror. I usually wear black clothing without accessorising very much. I started off thinking ‘I’ll be okay even though i’m wearing this’ but i stick to it now because it’s so comfortable. Comfort is the most important for going to the studio and bowling alley, home and so on. So i don’t really have much of an interest for appearances but when there’s a schedule and i look in the mirror with makeup i think ‘as expected’ (both laugh)

Question: You were wearing the so-called three-lined slippers at London, you’re even wearing them now.
Chanyeol: That’s right. These are the shoes and pants i wore then. I wore them because they were comfortable but even the London people were surprised. I told them it was outerwear clothes.

Question: As an artist, there are people who don’t hesitate on stage but are shy in front of a camera. Conversely, there are people who shine both on stage and enjoy themselves as a celebrity on variety shows or dramas. Which side do you lean towards?
Chanyeol: The former. There are lots of people that think i don’t talk when i go on variety shows and on top of that i’m very shy so it takes me a while to get comfortable. I still try though. I like seeing new sides of me so i always like a new challenge.

Question: I’m curious on how you feel about Seoul as someone who’s travelled all over the world.
Chanyeol: Even though i don’t feel particularly different when i’m overseas, the first thought i have when i come to Seoul is ‘Oh! I’m home’. When i come to Incheon airport and take my phone off airport mode, it’s convenient that the wifi works well. I don’t go around very much overseas.

Question: Last question. What gives you inspiration these days?
Chanyeol: Myself. Not because i’m particularly special but because i’m thinking a lot about myself. In the end i think all things conclude with yourself. So i find myself gaining inspiration for the types of music i really want to do.

Translation by fyeah-chanyeol
(Please take out with full credits)