but think about it

anonymous asked:

what is your favorite kind of monster story

there isn’t one kind of monster story i love most; but all the monster stories i love probably have things in common

so a lot of monster stories are about making monsters human, subtracting what makes them strange and terrible: a broken thing mended, an ugly thing made beautiful, reversing the transformation to put back the status quo. but i’ve always liked stories that keep the monster’s teeth and claws and frightful face. good monster stories are capable of containing multitudes—they delight in the dread and sublimity and terror of monsters, in creatures that draw and repel you, in transgressing the ordinary and giving form and voice to things that are hidden and grotesque and aeons-old and carnivorous. but they’re also about cruelty and violence and persecution and fear and trauma and addiction and exile and loneliness, and the worst things humans have wrought. (monsters of myth are often how a community encodes its pain and conflict and memory in the world.)

languages of monstering can be used to dehumanise—usually women, people of colour, queer people, people with mental illnesses or physical disabilities, people who are visibly and invisibly ‘abnormal’, people not allowed to be human. and this is tough shaky territory but—using these languages can be a way of reclaiming them, of staring without blinking at the people who called you not-human and saying if that is a human i choose not to be human i choose to be something else

(a monster is about itself before it’s about anything else—it’s a kind of numinous presence, it doesn’t have to be anything but itself, it doesn’t need meaning or purpose because it’s already question and answer enough)

to me good monster stories are about honouring the ways we’re different and strange and broken and not-broken and half-mended, and undoing the tyranny of ‘normal’. they talk about the transformations that happen when a terrible thing is done to you, suddenly or for a long time. the things you have to become to survive. how wounds have quantum shapes, and how pain roars or beats or aches or shivers in silence. nightmares and day-terrors, the forgetting and remembering. your voice rotting with the unsayable. steeling your skin till it’s heavy armour. the loose teeth and bits of glass and black writhy things that surface from your skin years later. the things that get irrevocably lost; the grace that comes shambling in. they’re about staying alive, being alive, even in the darkest foulest places—being a rough grim strange brave unlovely animal hauling your hide and heart and guts through the sulphurous stink of deepest hell, even when there’s no promise of light or air

they’re about allowing things to be ugly and dirty and impure and loud and mute and hungry and awful and dark and clumsy and disquieting, sharp and brittle and misshapen and mangled and blistered and pestilent and fearful and poisoned and sin-steeped and profane and too-much and too-bright and broken, and strange, so strange. they’re about boundaries, which give meaning and order to everything—the boundaries that can be warped and razed and crossed over; the boundaries that are sacred, and have to be drawn with white chalk and salt and holy water, and drawn again

the monster stories i like best are about terror and hurt and survival and softness, and love that wears a terrible gentle face, and endures. they’re about naming and seeing and saving and keeping and choosing. they’re rooted in the shadows at the unmapped edges and hinterlands, where you become your own light or wear the dark near as skin, where you’re strange and awful and you choose—because in monster stories choosing is the most important thing—despite what was done to you, and all the nightmares after, to be tender and soft and foolish and gentle. it’s having a mouth of razor teeth that can rip out throats and deciding not to use them (but sometimes letting light shine on the sharpness of them, when you also need to be dangerous)

That’s the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they’re not much to look at, or even if they’re sort of stupid, you fall in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can.
—  J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

halo 3 was a really fun game to be into as a teenager because it was good, obviously, but also because there were so many secrets and rumors surrounding it. like within the game there were clearly placed secrets such as the red vs. blue easter egg and the cryptic lore-dispensing terminals and all the skulls, which when found gave you bonus effects you could toggle on and off. these included everything from disabling HUD elements and strengthening enemies to replacing grunts’ blood with confetti (accompanied by a cheering sound effect). the hardest to get required literally jumping through a series of hoops in a very specific order, and when activated it made rare joke dialogue more common in the campaign

all of these secrets, along with halo 3’s native video and screenshot sharing features and the increasing popularity of youtube, inspired the community to investigate every nook and cranny of the game looking for more secrets. before long people started finding a lot of exploits to get out of bounds in both campaign and multiplayer maps and rumors started spreading about lore-related content being hidden outside the levels. one such rumor revolved around these “da vinci code objects”

in reality they were probably just test objects but that didn’t stop people from trying to give them some significance

similarly, when a player is killed by certain ai-controlled obstacles in multiplayer, it says the player is “killed by the guardians.” while it wasn’t really anything important, people took this message as a hint that these guardians were some kind of secret ai enemies hidden outside of certain multiplayer maps

around this time people also started sharing videos and screenshots of “ghosts" (not the vehicles), which ended up just being the result of glitches but didn’t stop people like little 14-year-old me from thinking there was some kind of spooky presence, intentionally placed in the game or otherwise, in halo 3’s multiplayer

halo 3 was a lot of fun is what i’m getting at

have you ever imagined what it would be like to kiss down Calum’s chest? To run your tongue over every tattoo and feel his muscles tensing under your lips? His breath would catch in his throat and he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off of you but they would ultimately land in your hair and he would tangle your soft tresses between his fingers and guide you to his collar bone where you would leave various love bites and he would let out a little gasp every time your teeth grazed his skin…

I drank all my liquor

I swallowed all the Percocet I could get my hands on

And now I’m on the bathroom floor

With 5 different kinds of pills in my stomach

And a bottle of vodka burning my throat

And only now am I realizing that the most dangerous drug I could’ve ever taken.

Was you.

—  You’re my fatal addiction
Did I want too much?
Is that you loosened your clutch?
Did I hold on too tight?
Is that why you let me go that night?
Did I tell you “I love you” too soon?
Is that why we ended under the moon?
Did I move too fast?
Is that why we couldn’t last?
Did my love scare you?
Is that why you up and left out of the blue?
— 

-How far could we go if we decide to take it slow?

-m.t.t.

i feel like ty always wears his skeleton hoodie bc he’s revealing so much of himself in his lyrics and letting himself be so vulnerable on stage that he’s “stripped down to his skeleton”

and while josh might not feel as vulnerable bc they’re not his words he wears his alien mask bc he’s felt like an “alien” so often

anonymous asked:

hi kino! have you done comics prior to blackgrass ( and the one that's going on slipshine ) or are these your first? Can you offer any advice on starting comics, even short ones? I want to start doing them but im so nervous. A friend of mine told me to just DO IT but I can't help but be a little hesitant. were you like that too at first?

Well Foxglove for Slipshine was my first ever 100% completed comic. I’d started other little doujinshi things in the past but never really finished them because I lost steam or got bored of the series I was doing the comic for or whathaveyou, but for Slipshine, I was given the opportunity to do a comic for money, and I have to say that in addition to loving the chance to get to work with your own OCs for a venture like this, money is a huge huge motivator, I’m serious.

Like, it’s great to do a webcomic to put out there and show to people and honestly even if I weren’t being supported financially by my followers and fans right now, I would do it anyway, but I’m gonna be honest seeing a dollarsign and knowing that you have to actually do something to warrant deserving that money is a massive, massive motivator. I mean it makes me feel like what I’m doing is worth someone else’s money and that’s huge for me, I guess? That’s what motivates me to keep on working on these comics.

Also, the satisfaction I get after seeing a fully completed page is phenomenal and I don’t know if it’s just me, but seeing a folder full of 20 pages worth of nicely coloured, fully finished pages is just really aesthetically pleasing and that in itself brings me some satisfaction? Like yeah, look at me, I did this, I made all of this by myself and it looks great.

Whoever told you to just do it was right. I mean I only started thinking about Blackgrass seriously this past summer when I was going through my divorce, and yknow I was originally gonna wait until May or June to push it out there, but the only thing that I was waiting for was for me to be ready, I guess. I got the characters, I got the story, I got what I need to get going, so why not? It was just very intimidating for me. I’m not a “professional” artist the way most folks would think of a professional artist I guess, so I’m really just flying by the seat of my pants, here. I mean I have fantastic support systems both from enenkay and from my boss who is thinking about picking up Blackgrass as an affiliate, like they’re both genuinely interested in what I’m doing, I think, but I don’t have a huge following anymore, I don’t have what a lot of other successful comic artists have, I’m just now figuring things out.

And I mean, my circumstances were sorta one of those “and the planets and stars align” type things because I had networking knowledge. I knew people, and those people liked me, and talked about me in a positive light to other people who then in turn wanted to get to know me. This is not something that everyone has and I get that, so me saying “Go, little bird! SPREAD YOUR WINGS AND FLY!” seems kinda half-baked when I DO recognize that I have a lot of stuff that new artists might not. But it isn’t impossible to get there, it just takes time and patience and determination and like, yknow, money, a fanbase, etc, but all of that comes if you keep on doing what you love. I KNOW how cornbally that sounds but I mean, I’ve been doin it, I’ve mostly gotten to where I am by relying on the support of people who believed in me, and I think they believed in me because they could see that this is what I was good at, this is what made me happy, and I was tenacious about it. Even when I was at my lowest low.

enenkay has actually been an incredibly instrumental mentor to me in starting out this venture. Not only by like, opening the doors for me I guess, but also by encouraging me and telling me not to do shit that I shouldn’t be doing, like comparing myself to other artists or getting too down on myself when things go belly-up for me (which they have done a lot of in the last few months) and to just sort of keep on doing what I’m doing because I guess she saw that I had that potential? I owe a lot to her for kind of really giving me the push and shove I needed to start doing comics at least semi-professionally. 

If you’re a young adult artist and you wanna get involved in making a webcomic, “just do it” is a really good piece of advice. I don’t know how often you do this, but go to your favourite long-standing webcomic and compare the art from page one to the most current page. Even artists who know what the hell it is they’re doing improve along the way. Like, the start of a webcomic definitely isn’t your end destination, in fact, it’s the starting line. Pushing yourself to learn things like paneling and page flow and word bubble placement that you don’t normally learn when doing illustrations and pinups is a tough thing to do but the more you do it, the more you read and observe and learn, the better you get. Your storytelling will improve, your fear of making something new will slowly go away, and you’ll find yourself doing these things first and foremost because they make you happy, and I think that that’s translatable, like when you make yourself happy, that resonates and it makes others happy. It’s apparent when you love what you do and are proud of the results you produce.

So I mean, jump into the fray, see where it takes you. Do a two-panel comic, side by side. Chuck some random characters in there. Experiment with lettering, play with colours, etc. Just try and see what you come up with. You might find out that you absolutely hate doing comics and you’d rather appreciate them as a reader, or you might find that comics are definitely your niche and they make you happier than a pig in shit.

I think worrying too much about whether your comic is polished enough or good enough or ready enough or clean enough or pretty enough is a thing that artists do a lot of. Shit, I do a lot of it. I do it constantly. But I think taking that first step is important if you wanna start walking, you know?

Hope that helps! 

x

i just had this tattoo/art idea?

so it’d be this little green sprout and it’d have a view underneath the soil to the acorn it grew from, cracked open because the sprout came out, and it’s cracked open shape looks like a heart

above it it would say plant your trees, watch them grow

3

                     ❝Art is the CONCRETE representation
                                                of our most subtle feelings.❞
                                                                   
                                                                — — —Agnes Martin