but they would have to explain a lot of things

ayyy now that im more well rested i can actually, like… talk

the operation went as planned! i am in very much pain and on multiple medications but ‘sall good. im just glad that thing’s out of me, tbh. it was a pretty low-impact procedure with four very small incisions that didn’t even need stitches, so at least surface-level i’m pretty great, even if im all torn up on the inside, lmao

unfortunately, the doctors did realize i have endometriosis while they were in there. so, uh, that was a pretty life-changing revelation. im not sure how advanced it is yet but i’ll probably find out during my follow up appointment next wednesday. it would explain a lot of shit– including why i got the cyst in the first place. it might be linked to so many of my other health problems, so hopefully once we look at my treatment from that perspective i can actually start making more improvement. the IUD is supposed to help endo, so i’m actually already one step ahead of everything, haha.

my doctor wants me to stay at my parents’ house for two or three weeks longer than originally planned while everything is sorted out so i probably won’t be going back to my apartment until the end of september. unfortunate, but if it means i end up making some advancements in my health i’m all for it.

so, yeah. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ shit’s going down.

the princess stayed in the tower and read books about better girls, where their hands learned how to hold swords, where they rode in on horses. i gave her books as often as i could. she devoured them.

her princes saw her and pretended to be scared off by dragons. got too lost in the thicket. didn’t want to handle it.

“tell me what it’s like, out there,” she whispers to me for the millionth time. i take her from The Throne into her bed, tucking her in and making sure her feet are covered. 

“boring without you” i say as always, “but i did bring back a great story.”

i tell her about how the stars change beyond the equator. how there are places it looks like there are twin suns. how the desert crawls into you but so does snow. i talk about the taste of fruit and promise to bring her back some. she falls asleep while i murmur about rivers, and then in the morning i bring her from bed to Throne, even though she can do it on her own. sometimes she likes help, is all, and i’m happy to give it. 

she doesn’t want help getting dressed. the men come for me, blindfold masters i have almost befriended. the path we take away from her is always different, carefully manufactured so i don’t know exactly where she’s located. after all, a lady might get ideas about things.

they let me go in the queen’s room. i report findings, ask for fruit in the next week’s supplies, am told not to spoil the princess, that she must be kind and waifish and wanting when the prince comes. i spend an hour suggesting that fruit might turn the blood sweeter and am allowed six oranges.

in the next week, she marvels over them. turns them in her calloused hands. smells them. holds them until she can’t control her curiosity, devours them. i bring her books about rivers. i bring her books about deserts. 

“when is our birthday?” she asks me tonight. i’m knitting her a scarf for it.

“soon,” i tell her, “i’ll come by.”

she rolls onto one side, looks up at me in the dimming light. “I’m glad they chose you to be mine,” she says, and i drop a stitch. my heart sings against the inside of my wrists. i blow out a candle so she can’t see the blush and i can’t see her lips. i know what she means, i say. i know what she means.

it’s twenty-three for both of us. i bring her a cake we both eat, her on her throne and me on the floor. i am in the middle of laughing when she falls silent in the still night. “nobody else ever comes for me,” she whispers. i say nothing.

we have more cake, we go to sleep. i don’t know if she knows i’m awake, but i hear her crying.

the men come, the men take me. the one that smells like cedar always laughs at my jokes. the queen half-hates me because i remind her of “that nasty thing” they forced on their daughter. 

“the left wheel needs oil,” i mention, “she’s having trouble turning again.”

the queen’s nose goes up. she never reacts when i mention her daughter’s wheelchair by name - doesn’t find it funny we call it a throne, thinks it’s well enough to leave alone.

“well, she’ll have a prince in this next month coming for her,” says the queen, “i’ve arranged it all,” says the queen, “he’s … had the situation explained to him first this time. i thought it would be best,” says the queen. “we’re paying him…. quite a lot for his effort,” says the queen.

situation. she means that her daughter can’t walk very far. she means the situation of towers. i excuse myself. i find my girl books about turning down marriage. i’m not sure why. it’s all she’s ever wanted.

they blindfold me and take me. cedar laughs at my jokes. the sawdust one is here this time, even he chuckles at a few. we ride horses through places i’ll never see clearly. 

“so according to the queen this is the last time i’m needed, huh?” i ask them as they walk me blindly up too many stairs for my girl to make it down, “i’m sorry i never made your acquaintance.”

cedar laughs. he takes off my blindfold and for a second, lets me see his face. “it’s been an honor,” he says, shaking my hand, “you’ve been a perfect lady.”

i spend the day with my princess pretending i am not peeling apart from my bones. i just want her to be happy. to get to come home. 

it’s late. “do you think in a past life i was a mermaid?” she asks.

“almost definitely,” i tell her. 

it’s quiet for a while after. “what if,” she whispers, “i don’t want to leave?”

i sit up and look at her from across the room. 

“it’s just,” she says, “i have you here and all the books i need and nobody makes me walk too long and i don’t feel like… like i’m wrong here.”

i want to tell her she’s never been wrong. that she’s always fit into my heart like a puzzle piece. that, more importantly, the leadership i see in her glows like a fire - that, no matter her body, she’s always been kind and gentle and smart and sweet. a princess that could bring a nation to her feet and do so lovingly.

“it will be okay,” i say, “there’s more fruit to discover.”

she doesn’t say anything. i think i’ve ruined something by accident, but i don’t know what. i don’t really sleep. i don’t say anything when the men come take me.

the world outside without her is boring. no mermaids. i put my hand in a river once a day, just thinking about her. 

two weeks later i am awoken by my name, and a voice i recognize perfectly. cedar stands above me in the darkness. “i know two things in this world,” he says to me, “and one of them is about love.”

this time we make the trip without blindfolds. i see the squalor they keep her in. i see the waste surrounding her castle, the terrible place she’s in. rage fuels my footsteps even when they start flagging. 

the prince is already there. he has dropped her twice, cedar tells me. i am already running up the stairs even though i can barely breathe. i hear her crying through the door and i don’t need to get ready - the fire that starts in me burns so brightly.

i roar inside. turn dragon and beat back prince with girl made rage. the bruises on her body turn me into giant snake. i eat the man alive, or at least i chase him from the place, never to be seen again. later i will hear a rumor about a demon that stole the princess from him.

she cries into my arms. i take her down every single stair. i hear her murmur her thanks into my hair and then i kiss her, because i can’t handle it, because i have places to show her and she has my heart to lead.

my house isn’t much but it’s near a river. she likes putting her hands into it. i take her places when she is able, and otherwise i bring the places back. we read books together. cedar no longer works for the queen, but he’d rather live with the man of sawdust making tiny wooden figurines.

i lie in bed next to her, stroking her soft hair. “do you think i was a centaur in a past life?” she asks.

“definitely,” i tell her, and kiss her, gently. she holds my face and pulls herself closer to me.

“will i be a good queen? i mean, in this life?”

“i’m certain of it,” i reply. i can hear the truth ring in it. the bone-deep certainty.

she’s quiet for a moment. “you saved me,” she whispers, “and usually we’d end up married. but…”

i don’t know how to answer that. i feel ice down my spine suddenly.

“i’m not demanding, is all,” her voice shakes, “i’m asking this time. for you to choose me. for me to be yours, i mean. and for you to be mine. permanently.”

the next birthday we celebrate, we are both queens.

evidence that peter parker is Trans:

  • “penis parker” is just………. if hes trans + being bullied u can guarantee its about that and i mean..
  • the conversation with aunt may in the car where shes like “i know its hard for u right now with ur body going through all these changes” and like ! the way she says it as well?? like this is not a parental figure talking about cis puberty… she seems genuinely upset for him and like ?? what if they cant afford hormones/blockers just yet and he has to wait longer etc ?? what if hes had to go off hormones/blockers bc they cant afford it this month??? and then his response isnt just like embarrassed “stop it aunt may im a teen!!” he seems genuinely distraught that she brought it up, bc he wasnt expecting it and now thats something ELSE on his mind and like . woah man
  • the whole conversation with aaron like .. a) aaron misgenders peter bc he thought his voice was ‘’’’’a girls voice’’’’’’ and i mean.. peters not 11 hes 15.. im p sure aaron wouldnt have misgendered him if peters voice sounded “’’’’cis’’’’’’’; and b) peters response is like IMMEDIATELY very upset + on the defensive and like tbh embarrassed? but in a different way to how a cis man is embarrassed by being misgendered… hes not insulted hes just… upset. Sad .
  • also he directly argues back by citing his name like ‘im spider-MAN spider-MAN MAN MAN get it’ like WOW i cant believe this is a #canon version of that post about how superheroes with gendered names are trans wow
  • it also like explains peter being bullied at school altogether ? like hes also like a weird fanboy + doesnt like parties + hes a weird introvert + he has a non-nuclear family so hes probably bullied about a lot of things but if he was out as trans that would kick it into second gear which explains like a whole bunch of randoms who have an inexplicable problem with him and like the snickering behind his back + shit
  • also peter idolising his male role models ?? like 100% a lot of peters feelings towards tony are uncle ben related but like !! he also idolises steve in civil war ? and i think peters like constant projection onto men he admires is like. a very trans Thing
  • his constant ?? presenting ????? + posing /????????? like hes almost always trying to position himself into some sort of impressive, macho, masculine pose like wow. we get it. ur Trans
  • for a movie thats about learning to put urself and what u want + think is important first and not worry so much about what other people think/want from u like……
  • anyway peters trans thank u for ur time

A MESSAGE FROM AVI
Hello everyone. If you haven’t yet watched the video then these words might come as a shock to you. If you have watched, know that this is exactly what I would have said in the video, if filming it wasn’t one of the toughest things I’ve ever had to do. This morning, I announced that I will be taking a step back from PTX.
I’ve struggled with this decision a lot. It has been the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make in my life. Before I explain why, I want you all to know that the past 6 years have been the most unbelievable years of my life. The things we’ve accomplished, the places we’ve seen, the people we’ve touched with our music… It surpasses anything that I could have ever dreamed up for my life.
I believe one of the big reasons why we have been so successful and accomplished all that we have is because of the unbelievably fast pace that we keep. Throughout my journey with PTX, this pace has always been a struggle for me. It’s been hard for me not to be with my family and friends when I need them or when they need me. It’s been hard to not be able to escape into nature when I’m feeling overwhelmed or just need some time to myself.
Through all of this, I’ve done my best and I’ve kept pushing myself to keep up. Really, the reason why I’ve been able to push so hard and for so long has been because of you guys. You all have inspired me and lifted me up every single day and, for that, I am eternally grateful.
I do love you all so very much, but I’ve come to a point where I just can’t keep up anymore and I would never want to inhibit any type of success that we have because I truly do believe in everything that we’ve done and everything that they will do. I just know that I can no longer continue at this pace and so I have to do what’s best for the group and I have to do what’s best for me.
I do want you all to know that I’m still going to be doing music and I’m going to be doing it with my whole heart. I will ALWAYS do my best to lift others up with my voice. I hope that you’ll all support my decision and that you can understand where I’m coming from. And regardless of anything, I just want to thank you for all that you’ve given to me. I have been so unbelievably blessed and humbled to be a part of all your lives in any way and I wanted you to hear this from me. From my voice. And from my heart.
I love you all deeply and I thank you for everything. Truly.
And just so you know, I will still be performing at all of our announced shows, so come say hi and give me a hug. I love hugs.
Avi


I know the announcement is already going around tumblr but I thought I’d upload the video. Watching it made me realize how sad and sorry he is. And even though I’m upset about the news, I think I’m more worried about him. I’m seeing lots of support and love for him on the internet, and I hope he’ll see it. Hopefully his decision will allow him to take back control of his life, get some rest and focus on whatever he wants. Maybe he’ll finally ask Sara Bareilles out, who knows… I just want him to be happy. It’s going to be hard for the band and for us fans, but both Avi and Pentatonix will still be able to make good music and succeed; except now he’s going to be able to breathe and go at his own pace.
Also, give him a hug from me if you can! x

Writing is Hard, Part 5: Headcanons

Summary: Dean shows the reader that there’s truth to a famous headcanon.

Read Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Warning: Smut

Word Count: 3000ish

A/N: This is all written with love for fan fic. I’m teasing, not putting it down in any way. Hope you enjoy! (Sorry, tag list is closed!) XOXO


“Reading anything good?” Dean asks.

Sam’s inside the gas station, picking up some snacks instead of listening to this conversation, so your face doesn’t feel the need to flush with embarrassment. Dean already knows exactly what you’re reading.

“I guess,” you tell him. No need to feed his ego by telling him how hot the story is.

“What is it?”

Keep reading

I want to talk about this whole “punching nazis” thing, which I have been thinking about for some days.

To start, let me clarify that I have no moral or ethical qualms with Richard Spencer getting punched in the face on tv. I’d be happy to see it happen again.

But I do have a couple issues with much of the dialogue that has emerged in the wake of this event.

A lot of the people suddenly talking about nazis right now are people who didn’t seem to even realize they existed in this country prior to this election.

A lot of people seem to have gotten some strange ideas about how and where nazis are typically encountered, or who they actually are.

So, I’d like to talk about some of the times in my life when I’ve encountered nazis.

Before I do that, let’s try to establish a definition. There are a lot of different stripes of fascists and white supremacists out there, with varying agendas and varying degrees of organization. In the US we’ve got many types, ranging from the KKK and Aryan Nation to various unorganized skinhead rabble to the newish group calling itself the Alt Right. It seems easiest, at least for the sake of this argument, to lump those all together under one general “nazi” category. But does that really make sense? I’ll come back to that. But for now, in most of the examples I will describe below, these were people who openly called themselves such.

Also, I want to establish a bit about who I am. I don’t like to discuss any of these things publicly, but I also feel like I kind of have to, to explain where I am coming from. So: I am Jewish, I am bi, I am neurodivergent. Due to this last thing, I have certain issues navigating the physical world. I am physically fit but not athletic. I have very little self defense training. By occupation I am a musician.

And lastly I want to point out that these examples are from 15-20 years ago and describe some of my earliest encounters with these forces to provide context. And I’m going to start with some clear cut cases:

I first became aware of the existence of modern nazis my first year in high school. This was in the suburbs of San Francisco. I had a few friends who were into punk music and culture. I heard about “white power punks” and nazi skinheads who would sometimes show up at shows. When I started going out I would see them every once in a while. When I started going up to the city, at that time there were places that were absolutely notorious for nazi skinheads. I never interacted with them, I always steered clear of them, and never really fell in with the punk scene anyway. But that’s when I first became aware that there were people in modern America who called themselves nazis and directly advocated for white supremacy.

To be honest I did not think of myself as their “target” because (in my mind, at that time) Jewish culture in the SF Bay Area was practically invisible and unlikely to be on their radar. In fact I didn’t think too deeply about who their target was. I mostly thought they were crazy people who loved violence and called themselves “nazis” because it was the meanest thing they could think of, that they were in favor of “white power” because it was so obviously wrong. At this time, there was fair amount of tension in the state around the issue of immigration from Mexico. But it did not occur to me then that there could have been any relationship between the xenophobia I saw expressed by mainstream circles in conversations about Proposition 187 and the blatant, violent white supremacy expressed by the skinheads on the periphery of local punk scenes. (also please note that I am aware that not all skinheads are nazis and that there is an anti-racist element within skinhead culture as well)

In college, in Pittsburgh, I lived on a store with a convenience store on one end. One of the people who worked in this store was a skinhead who wore a jacket covered in various white power/“rock against communism” band logos. He had a group of similar buddies that often hung around nearby, a couple of whom had aryan nation tattoos. On several occasions when I woke up in the morning I would find leaflets distributed up and down the block decrying the Holocaust as a “Jewish scam to make money”. These flyers were attributed to Church of the Creator, one of the more active neo-nazi groups in Pennsylvania at that time. Every once in a while I would cautiously engage in arguments with some people on the fringes of that crew of guys who hung out in the area. Things were sometimes tense but never got physical. Soon after 9/11 most of them disappeared. I don’t know why or where to.

While traveling alone in Slovenia, I nearly ran into a parade of about 40 skinheads chanting and marching in the street while I was on the way back to where I was staying. I do not know what specific group they were affiliated with but wore patches with the common “celtic cross” symbol used by far right/white nationalist groups all over the world. At that time, fascist graffiti covered Ljubljana.

Those are just a few of the more blatant examples from that time. These experiences were not rare. The KKK and various neo-nazi groups held public parades and rallies all throughout this period, and sometimes showed up as counter protestors or forces of violence at protests for progressive causes. They marched through downtown Pittsburgh - with the local government’s blessing - and many other cities in that region.

There were protestors at those marches, and there were people who fought the nazis directly, but the general consensus in mainstream liberal circles at that time seemed to be that nazis had the right to march just like anyone else, that any violence against them would be bad. It certainly wasn’t at all common to hear college educated, NY Times-reading liberals talking about the glories of “punching nazis”. This is a problematic but very complicated phenomenon: they were to be tolerated up until the point at which they’ve come into power.

But let me explain why _I_ didn’t go around punching the nazis I saw, during those times when I encountered them personally. To some extent, part of me did follow that logic mentioned above, but that’s not the real reason. The real reason is pretty simple: most nazis are a lot better at fighting than I am, they do it more frequently, they usually travel in numbers, they are often armed, and in almost every circumstance when I’ve encountered them the odds would not have been remotely in my favor had things gotten physical.

Richard Spencer was alone and unarmed standing in front of a video camera busily talking about an internet meme while he was sucker punched. This occurred in broad daylight in a very crowded, open area with a ton of media and police present. While I applaud the anonymous puncher for seizing upon that opportunity, that’s not really a typical situation in which one encounters nazis.

Recently, Richard Spencer posted a video in reaction to this incident. In this video he mentions that the Alt Right will not succeed if they are unable to be who they are in public. I’ve seen a lot of people pointing to this video as a sign of victory over the Alt Right, a sign that they are scared. I think the latter half is true but not the former. What Spencer is saying is that they are going to ramp up security. And I would anticipate that these people will begin to receive even more protection from the current administration.

So, this is one conclusion I’d like to leave here - in most cases “punching nazis” means getting involved in serious physical violence in which your life will be at risk. And that risk is only going to increase in the future. Fantasizing about punching some idiot talking about a frog on tv is fun, but I think it ignores the realities that many have faced and many more are about to face. And while many of us have disabilities that hinder us in this department, I think it would behoove anyone who is serious about getting physical with fascists to study and learn how to do so before getting involved in a situation you are unprepared for. I would also think long and hard before making that demand of anyone else. But that’s not the most important point.

I’d like to circle back to talking about definitions. The examples I gave above are obvious. These were people who, in almost all cases, were openly wearing the actual logos of white supremacist organizations. So let me bring up a different example:

About one year after 9/11 I was in Budapest, taking an overnight train to Amsterdam. I had a spot in a sleeper compartment on a train. I got on and a couple other passengers came in. One of them was a young guy, a little older than me (I was in my early 20’s at this time). He spoke English very well and we got to talking. It turned out he was an Austrian who worked in finance. Middle management at a major bank. He bought us a couple of beers and we were getting along. Inevitably, the topic of 9/11 came up. Seemingly out of nowhere, he explains to me how “there were no Jews in the building that day”. He then goes on to explain how 9/11 and the entire War on Terror that was then unfolding was all a Jewish plot to direct money to Israel’s armed forces. And hinted that the Holocaust was a similar plot. I tried to argue with him for a bit (without letting on that I was Jewish) but it was nearly impossible to get through to him, and he soon became surly and then passed out. I tried to do the same. But what caught my attention was that this man was well spoken, dressed conservatively, he looked every bit the upper middle class finance professional. It was difficult to imagine him in a street fight. No one would have described this person as being on the fringes of his society.

Up until a year ago, if I told this story to a European, or to an American person of color, they were unsurprised. But if I told it to a white American their reaction would usually be “yeah, well, that’s Europe for you”.

But that’s never been the case.

One common narrative is that many of the groups of fascists have figured out that they aren’t going to get very far if they are seen just thugs who march around on the street wearing in leather jackets getting in scraps. many of them have figured this out some time ago, and have been infiltrating mainstream education and corporate life. And yes, that is happening.

But there is a big problem with that narrative: it ignores the fact that many of America’s institutions and businesses are, themselves, organizations that promote white supremacy. Many of our banks, many of our police departments, our prison system, much of our media. Does these mean they are all “nazis”? Not really. But what it does mean is that white supremacy is not some outside force that just suddenly popped out of Steve Bannon’s suitcase. It’s been here for a long time. It is deeply engrained in our society. Fascism is not some new danger that we suddenly need to prevent from being “normalized” - for much of America, fascism has been the norm for a very long time.

Here’s my point with all of this: sooner or later, Trump will be defeated. This regime is monstrous, but I have seen the power and anger and sheer volume of opposition to it, and I do not think that this regime will last. My worry is, once this most obvious of enemies is defeated, the liberal establishment will go right back to completely forgetting that white supremacy and fascism are a major problem in this country. The sad fact is, even when Democrats in power, even when the POTUS is the most progressive sounding person electable, the nazis are still here, white supremacy is still here, fascism is still here. And not always on “the other side”. We need to remember that, we need to keep pointing to them and ostracizing them and speaking out against white supremacy and fascism even when it looks like things are more comfortable, because that comfort is a trap.

2

Chyler Leigh and Floriana Lima reveal they’ve been blown away by just how important their characters’ romance has been to viewers struggling with their own sexuality in the real world.

We’re just really humbled by it, very proud of it,” Lima, 36, told PEOPLE at the 28th annual GLAAD Media Awards in Beverly Hills, where The CW series was nominated for best dramatic TV show for its story featuring Leigh’s character, Supergirl’s adoptive sister Alex Danvers, realizing her long-denied attraction when she encounters Lima’s police detective Maggie Sawyer.

“There was no way we would have known the impact that this would have had,” Leigh, 34, explained. “We definitely wanted it to be a strong representation, and that’s why we’ve thought so hard about it and wanted it to be beautifully done, so I’m just really happy with the writers of Supergirl, who have really brought this to life.”

“People are so used to just the cut-and-dried comic book kind of storyline,” says the actress. “The great thing about Supergirl is that we’re reaching a lot of social issues [and] we’re doing it in a way that is recognized by people who love the comic book lore and that kind of stuff … For us to be able to take that on in that environment, and like kick people’s a–, and give a peck on the cheek and just say, hey, I’m finding out more about me because of you. It’s a love story, and it’s beautiful.

The true nature of Alex’s sexuality was a surprise to Leigh, who learned of the plans a few weeks before the plot was introduced into the series when her producers’ sat her down for the big reveal.

“They’re like, ‘So this year Alex is going to be gay,’ ” says Leigh. “I was like, ‘Wait – what?’” She quickly became very invested in telling “the story of somebody who later in life, finds somebody that literally just turns their life upside down, but in the most wonderful way. They create such a vulnerability towards each other that it’s authentic. One of the greatest compliments that we get is the fact that it’s so realistic. Here we are representing a healthy, growing lesbian relationship, which you just don’t get to see. Not very often, at least.”

read more at People.com

INTJ Weaknesses Examined

According to 16personalities.com, INTJs display the following weaknesses:

Arrogant
Judgmental
Overly analytical
Loathe highly structured environments
Clueless in romance
As an INTJ myself, I will try to discuss these different weaknesses and expand on it, adding on to other weaknesses INTJs have.

Arrogant – INTJs tend to be arrogant, especially at the earlier stages of their life when their exposure to more intelligent groups is limited. Once they find more intelligent peers (if they don’t, they will likely remain arrogant for the rest of their life), the INTJ will respond in one of two ways. The INTJ will humble themselves, and stop treating others as if they are much more superior, and will only consider themselves superior in the regards they know themselves to be (which may be most things still). Or they will deny the discrepancies to keep their ego intact, losing themselves into worlds where they are superior, leading to them developing issues such as workaholism or gaming addictions. INTJs even have books on the link between their type and narcissism too. INTJs will be inwardly arrogant, but they won’t directly tell you how much better they consider themselves to be than you. Unless the INTJ is younger/more immature, they would rather imply it passive-aggressively or not imply anything at all. Why risk having ego damaged?

Judgmental – Less developed INTJs tend to assume a lot, because their dominant introverted intuition has subconsciously analyzed many different patterns before, although the problem is that it may be an incomplete analysis. This leads to intuition that is unrefined and prone to being wrong, especially with more complex situations like those involving people matters. It’s akin to learning the mechanisms of a pond before stumbling upon a river and finding out the same principles don’t apply. The problem with this is that INTJs apply their auxiliary extroverted thinking too soon when it comes to matters that they think they already have a firm understanding of, when they would be better off making sure that they know all the details before making a judgement. This could easily apply for many personality types, but can be particularly troublesome with an obstinate INTJ who is convinced that their understanding is correct as it is.

Overly Analytical – INTJs tend to over analyze a lot of things which is helpful within the logical realm of theories and ideas but it falls short when applied to the real world, especially with people. Not every human act can be explained easily, and this will annoy the INTJ who wants an explanation for why things happen. This can also lead to quick judgements to relieve themselves of the pressure of finding out the real reason behind an act, or the possibility that there was no big reason.

Loathe highly structured environments – Contrary to what most would expect, INTJs tend to actually heavily dislike school. INTJs like learning a lot, but they would rather direct their own education rather than having a separate body telling them what they need to learn. The added factor of socialization within the school environment is also painful as it serves as just another distraction from their learning, forcing them to learn how to navigate the politics of multiple people being involved in a structure. However, just because many INTJs dislike school, this doesn’t mean that they won’t play the “game” and try to win by getting the best scores possible. For INTJs, their future vision of what they can accomplish by winning the “game” fuels their desire to withstand adversity. However, the weaker their vision as a result of completing a task, the less likely they are to invest time within it. This is also applicable for most people, but especially amplified for the INTJ who spends most of their time in their head.

Clueless in Romance – For the younger INTJs, this is especially true. They will have no idea when anyone is interested. But after being caught off-guard a few times, they become acutely aware of when people are interested in them. However, after that, the INTJ is practically clueless. Their humor is very different from most other types, their flirting is abysmal, talking can be a chore at times and they aren’t often aware of social cues and people’s feelings. It can be a disaster without an understanding partner that doesn’t judge immediately or without strong personal growth from the INTJ. As INTJs are less than 2% of the population, it may not be a surprise that this type is not in abundance.

My additions:

Weirdly Emotional – This depends on whether the INTJ has a “hot” or “cool” personality. The INTJs with a cool personality tend to remain more detached and analytical while the hot INTJs will be more in tune with their emotions. This can lead to them feeling emotions more greatly but also arising poorly, leading to an emotional reaction that is often more than it should be. INTJs with hot personalities tend to have more associations with their tertiary introverted feeling. Whether any personality type is hot or cool also seems to be more associated with their enneagram type.

Just Weird – INTJs spend a lot of their time in their head or on the computer/phone gathering information. For someone who is generally very detached from the world, this can lead to them developing a very niche personality that will deviate greatly from the norm of the social groups they have access to. Pair that with their natural unwillingness to talk to many people, they can become very closed off from others and hide their real selves as a result. They can fear showing what they really think due to being ridiculed, although it prevents them from finding out who would actually appreciate those thoughts too.

Self-Doubting – INTJs are so self-doubting about themselves, they are the most likely out of all the types to try researching their own weaknesses. They have to know what’s wrong with them and how they can get better. This self-doubt can be transparent when they speak because they are willing to show their level of certainty or lack of it, which can come off poorly in the workplace and in relationships because other types would prefer certainty in their explanations.

Too Serious – Younger INTJs often don’t know when people are joking, at least immediately. They will generally take many things at face value because of how often they take themselves seriously within their own thoughts. INTJs have high opinions of themselves in relations to others, “armor up” for social interactions and are constantly analyzing what people are saying, all of which leads to their solemn outlook when dealing with the external world.

INTJs have a lot of work to do when it comes to their weaknesses, but a well-rounded and mature INTJ will generally become a powerful force to be reckoned with if they are able to master these weaknesses.

First Sentence Writing Prompts

Send me characters/pairings (and setting or anything else you want to see) and the number to one of the following first lines:

  1. “I know you’re afraid but we can’t hide in this closet forever.”
  2. “Nope, I absolutely refuse to touch that.”
  3. “How exactly did you manage to get stuck in there?”
  4. “Why is it suddenly purple?”
  5. “Pass me the sledgehammer.”
  6. “Explain it to me again - why do we need to pretend to be married?”
  7. “In my defense, I thought this would go a lot more smoothly.”
  8. “I don’t know how you get yourself into these situations.”
  9. “Careful, don’t drop – “
  10. “And that’s how I ended up standing naked on the Brooklyn Bridge on Christmas Eve.”
  11. “It’s sticky.”
  12. “You need to stop.”
  13. “Well that’s the single most impressive thing I’ve ever seen someone do.”
  14. “What’s with the pigtails?”
  15. “How have you made it this long without someone throwing you out an airlock or something?”
  16. “Ow, what was that for?”
  17. “Ugh, why did I eat that?”
  18. “In my defense, it seemed like a brilliant idea at the time.”
  19. “Run!”
  20. “Come on, give me one good reason not to jump in the lake.”
  21. “We’re going to be late if we don’t leave like 5 minutes ago.”
  22. “What do you mean by leaving?”
  23. “I’m trying very hard not to see all this as a metaphor for my life.”
  24. “Please tell me you know how to defuse a bomb.”
  25. “Where have you been, I was ready to call the police!”
  26. “No, the house is definitely not haunted, why do you ask?”
  27. “Get over here now and bring a tarp.”
  28. “I don’t care that it’s 2:00 am, we need pie.”
  29. “I’ve got everything under control.”
  30. “At this point, what else could possibly go wrong?”
Talks Machina Highlights: Episode 97
  • Paper pre-stream reads “Easter Egg: Brian Wayne Foster’s home address is inscribed on the set somewhere.”
  • Brian reveals that he’s wearing the shirt with the cross-eyed picture of him that Sam was wearing in the last episode.
  • There is a betta fish on set, and as soon as they zoom in on it, Marisha’s name-card pops up. Brian: “This is a betta fish. The alpha fish we keep behind a paywall.”
  • Keyleth now holds the record for most damage dealt in a single turn (690) and the most damage taken in a single blow (363).
  • Matt kinda hoped that Vex would revive Keyleth and just be like “tell no one this happened.” Everyone adored everything about that moment.
  • Asked about their characters basically becoming demi-gods at this point, Taliesin: “I’m feeling smug about it.” Sam points out that most of VM isn’t particularly mature, so it’s a little worrying that they’re gaining this much power. Matt; “Eh, fortune favors the bold. It’s fine.”
  • Matt hasn’t had a campaign get to the upper levels like this before, so he’s really excited to try some new things in the coming arc. Taliesin has never played at such high levels before, or even heard of someone playing at such high levels.
  • Taliesin figures the most Percy way for Percy to die would be to go into a bar, attempt to threaten everyone, and have everyone turn on him. Sam on the most Taryon way for Taryon to die: pre-Vox Machina, he would go off on a paid hunt and he’d somehow still lose.
  • Brief digression about how to play out death by autoerotic asphyxiation in D&D. As you do.
  • Matt definitely shied away from having players “roll for baby” over the break, since he thought that definitely wasn’t a fair thing to throw at a player based on a dice roll. (“…unless you’re Scanlan”) Matt also mentions that Vax and Keyleth have had conversations about how they’re "probably for the most part an asexual relationship.”
  • Taliesin expands a bit on the fancy ball at Whitestone: “It’s basically a Medieval Times version of Santa’s Village.” Brian: “What would Percy wear to that?” Taliesin: “Cowboy boots and a smile.”
  • Taliesin mentions that Percy and Cassandra are starting to be a little sillier around each other now, trying to remind themselves that it’s all over. The thing they have most in common that VM doesn’t share is being the product of a legacy and learning to find their own way within that legacy. 
  • Taliesin has already started a playlist for his character in the next campaign.
  • Matt is gonna start everyone in the next campaign halfway through level 2 so they get to play with their characters a bit before deciding which archetype to go for.
  • Sam has a brief rant about how many planes there are in D&D. “Let’s streamline. Let’s streamline.” Matt: “Sam, I am so excited for the RPG you’re releasing next year.” Sam: “The Three Places.”
  • Matt wasn’t expecting the Shadowfell reveal to come so soon. There was gonna be another reveal down the road that might still play out in the game. Elements of the story may have been accelerated as a result of that bit of player ingenuity.
  • Taliesin’s character was eaten and there was a near-TPK in the Shadowfell the last time a campaign he played in went there. (He and the other dead players had to go back in playing as the mercenaries sent to retrieve their bodies.)
  • Keyleth’s natural 20 when touching the orb back in episode 34 was sort of an example of failure by success, in that it delayed the Shadowfell reveal considerably. At that time, though, she could’ve died from the damage it dealt, or gone unconscious and bled out on the other side. If she had made it through, she wouldn’t have had Plane Shift and would’ve had to find a way back, which would’ve started the Shadowfell stuff early. So they would’ve had to work out their priorities given that the Chroma Conclave attacked shortly thereafter.
  • Matt thought of the scry (reverse-whisper) as a successful test run for maybe pulling out most of the party and isolating players again in the future.
  • Sam talks a bit about how Matt takes the “cartoonish backstories” they make up and turns them into a coherent narrative.
  • They were at Matt’s house digging through his minis trying to figure out where the story was gonna go next. (Brian calls out Matt’s impressive mini-painting skills.)
  • The silencer is a ten-foot bubble of Silence spell that follows Percy around: downside is he can’t hear or say anything while he’s taking those shots. Taliesin is very excited for those potential downsides.
  • Sam had no warning about the kidnapping; he found out when the rest of us did. When she handed Taryon a cream puff, Matt secretly rolled a constitution saving throw for him—it was essentially a delayed Sleep spell.
  • Percy’s chilled out a bit over his anger at Scanlan during the past year.
  • Tary’s started to learn his limitations over the past year—he’s aware of how strong he can be as part of a team, but hasn’t really ventured out on his own yet and is worried about how much of a crutch the money has been for him.

Talks Machine in the Dark:

  • Matt talks about some of the weird and wacky dragons out there in the expanded D&D literature. Sam: “By the way, in my RPG, there’s only one kind of dragon.” Matt really enjoys creating new creatures, so he’s been veering away from the books a little more often.
  • Someone suggests that Tary could multiclass into bard. Sam hadn’t thought about that. Matt points out that Doty’s the one writing the book, so maybe Doty should become a bard. Sam: “Can Doty be a bard?” Matt: “No.”
  • If Percy had the power, would he bring back his dead family? If he thought the consequences would be minimal, sure, but he also has a respect for death. Every time they’ve managed to bring someone back, it was the D&D equivalent of a crash cart, within 24 hours. Percy doesn’t even know where his family’s bodies are. Matt, grinning: “I do.”
  • Matt points out that this is part of why Keyleth is so frightened of higher-level resurrection spells: how do you choose who you can bring back? What gives you that right? What are the moral implications? He also brings back Kerrek’s probing questions about resurrection. Taliesin sums it up beautifully: “It’s dark and twisted and strange once you start pulling it apart.”
  • The hardest character death for Matt was Pike’s death back in the home game—it was the first time for a lot of the players to realize that they’d spent a year and a half with this character and she could still be gone like that. Apparently Ashley came home at 3AM distraught and tried explaining the whole thing to Brian, who knew nothing about D&D at the time and was a little confused. “…you died? At Travis and Laura’s?”
  • Doty can speak primarily because it’s funny, and also because Sam wanted to give Matt something more to do when he plays Doty. There was a lot of discussion over which word it would be. Sam: “It could’ve been Hodor.”
  • Someone asked whether another Battle Royale will come up, and Matt thinks probably before too long, next time they have players away or just need a week off.

anonymous asked:

Is there any specific moment that sold the show for you when you first started watching?

There sure is. Blood Moon Ball.
When, after the dance, Star and Marco got home, on her balcony, I thought “and now they’re going to argue”, and sure enough Star started complaining about Marco’s behaviour.

But then, instead of doing what a lot of cartoons usually do (and what I feared would have happened), the two of them having a heated and avoidable argument, with Marco trying to explain Star that he did it for her sake and yadda yadda, with things possibly carrying over to the next episode, they talked, something that happens a lot in this show -Starcrushed had an explicit focus on “talking things out”- and that made me progressively fall in love with the series and the way it handles the characters.

And neither of them tried to rub things in eachother faces, but they took the occasion to learn something more about eachother (important things, I might add, since trust is extremely important to Star, and feeling useful and “worthy” of being Star’s friend is important to Marco).

So yeah, the fact that characters talk and try to understand eachother without jumping to conclusions is what truly sold the show to me.

And, without listing all the instances in the show, an extremely unexpected and often overlooked one is in the second episode, Party with a Pony. Marco tells Star that Pony Head threatened him, and she’s not all “You are just jealous!”, she believes him, because she knows Pony’s personality, and she know that Marco wouldn’t just lie like that.

I think I have some idea what this “medicine” actually is.

The closest thing we’ve had the resurrected ghoul investigators is probably Noro right? And one thing we know about Noro is the fact that he supposedly had to eat an “absurd” amount of food.

Judging by the fact it seems Kanou is somehow using Kakuhou to bring back and reanimate the dead, I’m guessing those Kakuhou must need an enormous amount of RC cells to keep the mortally wounded bodies running. Meaning the medicine is either some concentrated RC cell solution like the kind Sphinx had and the CCG uses or it’s just a nice way of saying they have to cannibalize a lot…

It would explain the need for high volume of dead ghouls outside of just Furuta being Furuta with Furuta-y plans.

what 2 do | (m)

 pairing: kim seokjin x reader,  roommate! jin, college! jin
•  genre/warnings: smut, fluff, slight angst (more like over dramatics), 
•  words: 13,759
→ summary: what happens when the college roommate you thought was definitely going to be girl turns out to be the most gorgeous guy you’ve ever encountered in all your years of life? It’s a stupid misunderstanding on your part, but maybe, just maybe, it won’t be so bad after all…
•  note. this was a request from @immawhalien95 which took me an age to write haha, but it’s finally done and my plan to take over tumblr with Jin fics is taking shape…
•  p.s. listen to I feel you by wonder girls

Keep reading

ok so me and @bakkoush-naesheim discussed this for like three hours today, and we have a theory on the mikael and even situation. it might be reaching, but, well, this is skam, so let us reach haha.

it was mikael who kissed even. 

so, mikael liked even. maybe even actually liked mikael back a little too, but he was with sonja. so, when mikael kissed him, even pulled away. and that’s when mikael starts to freak out. even tells him it’s okay, and he promises not to tell anyone, and that there’s nothing wrong with liking boys. but that panics mikael more. and so mikael says something along the lines of, “of course you’re not telling anyone, there’s nothing to tell.” and the more even tries to calm mikael down, the more mikael gets freaked out. and he tells even something about islam and homosexuality, and how the quran says it’s a sin, and generally, just…mikael is freaked out. which gives even the idea to start reading the quran, to help his friend out, to help mikael come to terms with his sexuality. and when he tells mikael what he’s doing, maybe mikael freaks out more, and says something along the lines of “you said you’d drop it, nothing happened, just leave it.” 

so mikael begins distancing himself from even because he’s scared because even isn’t dropping the subject. mikael, freaked out about people finding out and even telling everyone, becomes paranoid and decides to get in there first. and he tells the balloon squad that even tried to kiss him. even, at this point,  was probably getting closer to a manic episode, so his behaviour would have been a little…off. so the balloon squad believe mikael, and maybe mikael even exaggerated a little bit and said things like, “he’s obsessed with me, he kissed me and won’t leave me alone” etc. and thus the entire squad begin to distance themselves from even. even maybe comes up to mikael a couple of times and asks to talk, and again, this just comes off as even being “obsessed” with mikael. and it’s all one big understanding.

with all this going on, even is still researching the quran; he’s manic, so his impulse control, reasoning and judgement are all a little impaired right now. he begins to post any passage that is to do with homosexuality from the quran. not necessarily negative, just anything that mentions it. yousef, at this point, is maybe already questioning his faith, and so he only picks up on the more “negative” passages that even’s posting; the stuff that says homosexuals will go to hell, etc. this “obsession”, of course, given what the balloon squad have been told (even tried to kiss mikael), can easily be interpreted as even trying to “cure” himself with the quran/islam.

amongst all this, obviously, mikael feels awful. but he’s in too deep now. he can’t tell the boys the truth, because he’s still scared, and now there’s the added guilt of how all this is effecting even. so he stays quiet, and gradually, the balloon squad all lose contact with even completely. 

even trying to kill himself wasn’t a result of him thinking homosexuality is a sin. it’s very likely he crashed after his manic episode (depressive episodes aren’t always triggered by life events in bipolar disorder (although they can be); it is sometimes simply the neural chemistry trying to overcompensate for an increase in 5ht that’s seen in a manic episode, so the body decreases 5ht to compensate, but this results in abnormally low levels which=depression). even was very lonely at this point, he was depressed, and that led to his suicide attempt. but for yousef, and for the other boys, i mean, the story writes itself:  even tried to kiss mikael which must mean he’s gay, mikael freaked out bc he’s religious, now even is reading the quran so he must be trying to cure himself. even never corrected anyone on this, because correcting them would mean breaking the promise he made to mikael; the promise that he wouldn’t tell anyone what really happened.

the thing is, this theory explains a lot. it explains:

  • why mikael would still have even’s number (because if he truly was freaked out that even had kissed him, he probably would’ve deleted his number to get rid of all contact with him)
  • why mikael laughed nervously at the mention of even in the sms roulette video, and why he was so quick to shut mutasim down about it - he probably feels incredibly guilty now, hence why he said, “it’s not important”; he doesn’t want to lie anymore, but also isn’t ready to talk about it
  • why even is so terrified. on the one hand, this could be bc yousef’s version of what happened is the truth. obviously that version would still scare even. but on the other hand, it’s one thing being afraid of someone finding out the truth, but it’s so much more terrifying for someone to hear a lie, or a rumour, and for them to believe it. you can’t control what someone lies about. and even can’t necessarily deny what happened, because again, this would lead to mikael getting exposed.
  • why even told sonja about isak immediately. on the one hand, even is a Good Bean™ and probably wanted to let sonja know out of respect to her. but also, he didn’t wait for rumours to spread about him and isak. he wanted to tell her himself this time.
      • on a related note, it could’ve also explained the distance in their relationship. maybe he didn’t tell sonja the truth, out of respect to mikael, and sonja knew she wasn’t getting the whole truth, even if she heard even had kissed mikael. this drove a wedge between their relationship, leading to her not trusting him completely, because she knew she wasn’t getting the whole truth. this is another reason why even told her about isak right away.
  • why even is avoiding talking about the topic. again, he could be scared. that could be the answer. but it also could be because he doesn’t want to lie, but he also doesn’t want to break his promise to mikael.
  • it fits with the theme of the show!!! misunderstandings. mikael isn’t homophobic. he did a shitty thing, regardless of whether our theory is true, or if yousef’s version of events turn out to be true. but imagine this version: he lied, then…all this happened. of course the right thing to do would be to come clean, but imagine how terrifying that would be. it would not only mean he had to come out before he was ready, but it also would mean admitting he ostracised a friend, lied about him, etc. he probably feels incredibly ashamed and guilty, even though he’s in a better place in his life right now, he just wants to forget the whole thing happened.

so to conclude, the situation is misunderstanding after misunderstanding. which fits with the theme of this season. and with the theory that not everything is as it seems (sana assumed yousef is muslim; magnus and vilde appear to be in love but aren’t really).

whose to say yousef isn’t wrong when he says it was even who kissed mikael?

chaoticgamer8693  asked:

Why do you depict Chara as the villain here? In the game there is absolutely nothing to suggest that. Think about it. If they're really so bad then why did Chara reset the timeline so that you would be forced to go through again and most likely not kill everyone. Why would Sans be able to remember when Flowey can't and Flowey has the most determination seen in a monster. Oh wait, Chara warns him and communicates. They also do the dialogue. They translate froggits and make the thing easy.

Actually I think you may have missed a thing XD. It’s cool though. I shall explain best I can without giving away things-

This is actual Chara as depicted in this comic.

Chara doesn’t look a whole lot like this-

-red nightmare child, do they? However this  ^ 

Sure looks a whole lot like this kid we see here below. Like Frisk.

I have to be sorta vague for plot reason but just keep in mind in game Sans never sees Chara as we, the player, saw them. 

Better yet he never saw the player either, did he? >D

And where is he seeing this red kid?

In a nightmare.

But Chara, the leaf child with the locket, is nowhere near the villain of this story =U

Mishalecki Panel Summary

Summary: The panel was full of shenanigans, sexual innuendoes and shipper!Jared. 

Note: This is my first time trying this. Please let me know if you guys want me to do this in the future. 

1) Misha gives Jared a fake, plastic mic. Since it is his last panel, Jared thanks everyone for coming. He likes it when the weekend goes “safe and sound and with no drama.”

3) Misha and Jared doing age demographic survey. Jared and Misha ask how old everyone is for "Very scientific.” reasons.

4) Fan: What is the difference between today and 8 yrs ago?                         Jared: Today daddy Padalecki went and napped                                           Misha: 8 years ago in the con, he passed out!

5) Misha snorted water all over Jared while Jared tried to imitate Misha. 

6) Fan: How have Cas and Sam influenced each other?                                     Jared: Sometimes Misha doesn’t know when he influences.                             M: Sam is definitely not as influential as he used to be.                                       Jared: Sam has got old. He likes naps.

7) Fan: If you could write an episode what would it be?                                       Jared: It will be an episode without Sam, it will be just with Misha and Jensen and, Jared would go home to Texas and the episode would be called the milk run" and there would be a lot of BDSM. Shipper!Jared 😂                               Misha: I actually love the idea of Jared’s script. 😀  BDSM Script Misha approved! Misha’s ep would be “very influential”.                                           Jared: “how do you influence on each other?”.

8) Fan: Do you ever think about your exposure (of influence? J) in the public eye (whaaat in public? J) Is that something you take as it comes (and even more laughter) And how it has changed before supernatural and with families. Misha wants the question to be rephrased. J: can’t answer because he’s laughing

9) Misha: Jared has an idea for this book title and it’s genius. it’s an title for a memoir of Misha: “a great idea…” in big letters. And it actually says (It Seemed Like)… A Great Idea… (At That Time)                                                               Misha: Typically we like to take it as it COMES. (innuendo) This is just watching two people being stupid, you know that?“ 

10) Fan: if you could be someone for just one day who would it be and what would you do. 

If Misha could be anyone for one day, he’d be Trump and he’d resign and banish himself to prison. Someone shouted Misha for president and the crowd started cheering and applauding

Jared: if I could vote for a president for the rest of my life it would be Michelle Obama. Jared would like to be paul McCartney since we’ve so many and he’s one of those left that have witnessed a lot of things. 

Jared asked the question asker the question back and she said Jared padalecki and hugged her 😭 

10) Fan: Going into Season 13, what would you like to see in the alternate universe?

Misha: In Season 13 for myself… Jared (interrupting): Cas is dead. Audience: awwww. Misha mouths to Jared (bc his spoiler) stupid, stupid, stupid. 

Misha likes the idea of an alternate universe Castiel out there who hasn’t meet Sam or Dean yet. And try to explain that they’ve known him in an alternate universe and also that Cas is 8 inches taller but has the same vessel. Jared calls Misha Cas then laughs like a kid. 

Jared wants to save the fandom, he wants an episode where they can bring everyone back. Jared met Felicia on a flight from Australia to Austin. Jared: Charlie! You’re alive!

 Fan: We are so glad Cas will be back. Jared: No one said that!!! *Mutters* "FUCK”

Fan: About Crowley’s death… Jared: YAS!! but the audience were silent… So Misha goes, Know your audience dude! 

Misha: None of us have an idea what’s coming down the pipe. Coming down the pipe, we don’t say that? Sorry what’s going through the tunnel. 

More laughter and also Jared laughing so hard, *pulls beanie over face*     Misha said he doesn’t wanna be the Jared of this conversation. 

Misha: nothing is certain in the supernatural universe.                                 Jared: there’s only one ep that’s written for SPN. The Scooby Doo-ep. They don’t know what’ll happen. Writing hasn’t started yet again Jared likes that he doesn’t know “what’s coming”. Misha: . Can presume, but have to see what happens.

12) Fans: We wanted to ask a question together.                                           Jared: I want u to say a word each. 

Fans: What songs did Dean put on the Mixtape?

Jared and Misha answer the question saying one word each. From president to Rome to music to my Dean. Roughly translates to:

Misha: Dean                                                                                                   Jared: should                                                                                                       Misha:always                                                                                                 Jared: jerk *laughs like a kid*                                                                             Misha: around                                                                                                       J: with                                                                                                               Misha pauses..: mixtapes

Misha said “Dean” in his Cas voice. 

13) Fan: How Misha smell? 

Jared smells Misha. Misha opened up his jacket for Jared to smell & Jared smelled misha’s crotch. Jared: “i can now say that misha smells like-” Misha: “cinnamon on top, watermelon on the bottom”

End of Panel 

Sources: @Catt_mohen, @blacksmything, @heartsandthumbs,

anonymous asked:

I know it's fashionable to hate shakespeare for being a white cis male shitlord but calling his work trashy just displays your ignorance. there are reasons he still gets studied in school hundreds of years later. the man basically invented the english language as we speak it today.

I don’t hate Shakespeare. 

I love Shakespeare. 

In my opinion, the greatest disservice anyone can do to his work is to elevate it to some kind of highbrow high art literary thing. The reason he’s studied today is that his plays endured (plus or minus some changes in fashion over the centuries), and the reason his plays endured is because they were popular, and the reason his plays were popular is because he crammed them full of stuff that people wanted; i.e., lots of jokes focusing on the less refined features of the human anatomy and the things they get up to.

Perhaps you’ve had it explained to you that Hamlet’s talk of “country matters” was an uncouth pun, and his reply in the same conversation of “nothing” was a similar reference. Did you think that was a one-off thing? 

If you’re aware that “nothing” was a euphemism for the vulva in Shakespeare’s England, have you ever stopped to marvel at the sheer audacity, the sheer brass somethings that a man would have to have to name a play Much Ado About Nothing?

Translate that into modern-modern English, and you’d get something like Everybody’s Up In Arms About Pussy. Though you’d lose the pun on “nothing/noting” in doing so… yes, that’s how far from highbrow Shakespeare is. He made the title of his play a triple pun.

And yes, Much Ado is not one of the Bard’s more serious works to begin with… but then, what is? We divide Shakespeare’s plays up into tragedies and comedies based on the dramatic convention of which ones have a happy ending versus a sad one, but they are all comedies in the modern sense of “things you go to expecting to laugh”. The country/nothing lines come from Hamlet. Heck, Hamlet is hilarious throughout. Any scene with Polonius in it is guaranteed to be comedy gold. 

Of course, the people who want to call Shakespeare highbrow are probably the people who quote him in all blustering sincerity when he says “to thine own self be true”… or funnier still, when they paraphrase him as saying that “brevity is the soul of wit”.

Of course, hands down, my favorite bit in Hamlet is when he’s giving instructions to the players that basically amount to William Shakespeare pre-emptively bringing up every stereotype of Serious Shakespearean Acting we have today and saying, “This. This thing. Do not do this thing.”

Anyway, let’s talk about the idea that he “invented the English language”; e.g., he created so many hundreds of new words. Okay, well, first of all, we don’t know how many he invented. We just know there are words and usages of words for which the texts of his plays are the earliest surviving example. The thing is, all those words evidently made sense to his audience.

There’s a post that goes around Tumblr listing some of the words credited to Shakespeare, and one of them is “elbow”. The commentary attached to this post basically boggles over the idea that nobody in the English world had a name for “the bendy part of an arm” until an actor gets up on stage and says “elbow”, and everybody’s like, “Oh, yeah, that’s what it is.”

Except it didn’t happen like that. The noun elbow isn’t what is attributed to Shakespeare; the verb to elbow (as in “elbowing someone aside”) is. His character took a noun and used it to describe an action. That’s not a highbrow creation of language as some sort of received wisdom handed down from authority. That’s naturalistic language use. 

Even if he was the first person to describe the act of “elbowing someone”, it caught on because it worked, because it made sense to vernacular speakers of English. 

So many of his words fit this model: they are butchered foreign words, they are slangy applications of English words, they are colorful metaphors or synecdoches. In short, he was writing in what we call “Buffyspeak”. If he had an unusual talent for doing it memorably, it still ultimately worked because it reflected the language of the time.