but they switch so it's okay

Improv CoC

So, we were playing a round of improv Call of Cthulu, so all the players and the dm would switch every fifteen minutes and there was no scenario planned before. We ended up at Loch Ness with some black blob.
DM1: so the thing move towards you. What do you do?
Player 1: I try to hit.
DM1: *doesn’t even bother to roll* Okay, it splits in two. Then it changes its shape to that of a penis.
*everyone laughs*
*the timer goes off, I am now the DM*
Me: Okay, so the… black penis moves away from you like this *tries to show them how, but they don’t listen cause they’re still busy with their new sheets and talking*
Me: Guys, listen look.
*still not listening*
*suddenly they’re all listening*

me, to myself through gritted teeth, after watching a new show and liking literally hundreds of posts relating to it: okay now pick the PERFECT one and ONLY reblog that one because you need to show some goddamn SELF-CONTROL. MAYBE put one in the queue. don’t overdo it this time

me, a day later: hi guys so i’ve switched fandoms,

Yesterday, @femspirk @lieutenant-sapphic @astralcasper and I were having a very serious discussion about Spock in sweaters and I said that Jim and Spock definitely have sweaters that say t’hy’la and @lieutenant-sapphic made it even better by saying that they own “If Lost Return to T’hy’la” and “I’m His T’hy’la” sweaters so here it is in all its glory.

um this is Jenna Goranski singing the Squip Song? if that’s alright?


@birbstille im tagging u because ur jennas mod

cover of: Be More Chill  ‘the Squip Song’

ehehe im so sorry this is isn’t the best eh

I couldn’t scream “it’s from Japan” because it would’ve destroyed the audio so sorry!!

just in case here’s the link if it doesn’t load

Made with SoundCloud
When He’s Distracting
  • “I am NOT needy” he says as he shuffles closer to you and starts to play with your hair
  • tries to just sit in the same room as you when your busy but you’re actually just gonna do work and not make out with him???
  • “hey”
  • “hey”
  • “have you seen this?”
  • “what are you doing?”
  • “guess what harrison said to me today…”
  • “darling listen to me”
  • “please it’s really important”
  • but some how you’re still doing work and dismissing him with a “not now babe”
  • so it’s time to pull out the big guns and he strips his shirt off with a comment like “a bit hot in here, isn’t it?” and he can’t help but notice your eyes flick up at his torso, your tongue darting out to wet your lips
  • but somehow your resolve holds so he grabs a seat next to you and starts to pull you on his lap
  • “you can keep working just do it sitting on my lap”
  • and its been less than five minutes and he BORED and you’re still not paying attention!!!
  • “GOD how can you be reading?!”
  • he nuzzle his nose into your shoulder, presses his face into your back, leave little kisses on the nape of your neck
  • starts breathing over your ears, tickling you so you squirm and he can finally wrangle your laptop or book out of your hands
  • “MINE AT LAST!” he yells triumphantly and hugs you too him
  • “okay, okay. five minutes”
  • “uh huh, five minutes, love.” he smirks, helping you switch around so your straddling him
  • “I mean it!” you warn before kissing him
  • and suddenly its been 30 minutes and when you check the clock your eyes bug out and his grins at you
  • “muahahahahahahaha” he’ll laugh devilishly before pulling you back into a kiss

For the sake of our families.

late piece for Kallura Month Day 6: Free Day, with some? reference to Day 14: Protect!

Pacific Rim’s story fits them really well, if you know how to do it :’)


So I’ve… Been doodling

anonymous asked:

can you do a daddy!dom!phil and dom!pj with bottom!dan? if you could have dan call pj something like sir that would be great too. Feel free to add anything

Yo I went a bit nuts with the “add anything”. Includes daddy!kink, exhibitionism, degradation , toys, fisting, double penetration, Dan being a little cock/cumslut jfc someone stop me.

Phil loves living with Dan, there’s no question about it. When it comes to roommates, Dan’s the full package; he’s Phil’s best friend, so he always has someone to talk to and play video games with, but he’s also his boyfriend, which means blowjobs and cuddles, too. He has all the other attributes of a great roommate as well – he cooks and cleans up after himself and always pays his rent on time. It’s very rare that they squabble and if they do it’s over something silly that’s resolved by the time they head to bed together. They’re perfect for each other, but the only problem with having such an incredible all-in-one human like Dan is that they tend to forget other people exist. It’s never on purpose, they just have a habit of getting caught up in their little life together and end up neglecting their other friends. That’s why, when Phil realises it’s almost been a year since they’ve seen PJ, he picks up the phone and invites their old friend around.

Another thing Dan and Phil don’t do as much as they used to is drink, so when the curly-haired 26-year-old turns up at their door, green eyes twinkling and right hand clutching a bottle of Jack Daniels, Phil knows it’s going to be an interesting night.

Keep reading

  • Steve: So, what, the salt was plan B?
  • Tony: No, no, that's, ah, that's plan M.
  • Clint: Don't I die in plan M?
  • Tony: Yeah, usually.
  • Clint: What you mean, usually? How many plans do I die in?
  • Tony: C, F, and M through Q.
  • Clint: C, that's a little close to home, man. You need to switch that up. How many plans does Nat die in?
  • Tony: None. And [pointing to Thor] none. And [pointing to Steve]...nnehh. There is a plan where she comes out of it with a scar from the temple through the eye all the way down to her mouth...
  • Thor: [to Natasha] Ooh! You'd look so cool with a scar!
  • Steve: Wait, wait, wait, go back, hold on, let's rewind—you skipped past me! You skipped past me.
  • Tony: Well, I have one, there is a plan, but it's evolving.
  • Steve: Okay, that's creepy. Don't you think that's creepy? He's planning my death.

anonymous asked:

hello! correct me if i'm wrong but i think you're the jikook lover i follow who recently said they love reading fics?? so i was wondering if you know of fics/scenarios that build on that iconic hotel vlive when jimin may have been hiding in the bathroom? 👀 i thought about that last night and my imagination went kinda wild lol if not, any jikook recs will do! please and thanks! JIKOOK FO LYFEEEE💞

Hi Anon!! Sorry this was so late, the past week has been pretty wild for me. But anyways to answer the first part, no unfortunately I dont know of any fics that build off of that iconic vlive :( im sorry.

BUT that recent vlive came out right? With Jimin in the bath robe and that Jikook stare….ah yes. I know theres a couple of fics that build off or are just based off of that.

 A Private Conversation by ambers

 the jimin effect by euphoriae

I read these two recently and they were 👌👌 A++ would read again. As for my other Jikook recs, oh boi *cracks knuckles* here we go:

Blow Me Like Your French Horn by ohdizzy Chapters:8/8 >>> Ahhh! I love this fic!! Its so hilarious and adorable and such a great read honestly. I highly recommend this fic!!

Constraint by Harlot Chapters:1/1 >>> Basically Jungkooks journey from str8 to gay but oh, oh m a n, Its so beautifully done. Right from the beginning, all the emotions that Jungkook goes through are very real and the Jikook was developed so well. Please give this one a read.

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not (Seven Days) by jeonify Chapters:2/2 >>> God, this really is a tear jerker this one. Its very sweet and fluffy and angsty and just so perfect. You can never go wrong with soft!Jimin and internationalplayboy!Jungkook 😊

Dream Maker by graesun and Polkari Seuta (VeritasEtVita) Chapters:12/12 >>> okokokok guys, read this fic. You will not regret it omg. The perfect mix of fluff, angst, smut and more fluff, this fic is a snipet into the lives of Jikook, who are just barely getting by with what little money they have, but theres lots of kisses, laughs, some angst and cute domestic shit™ This fic made me feel so many things and I loved it so much!! Give this one a try guys.

Don’t Think, Don’t Speak, Just Smile for Me by Ragi Chapters:27/27 >>> This fic left me shook for a solid week man, good god. So soft, so sad, so real. I loved the realism regarding homophobia and idols in Korea. Everything in this fic is written with care, and handled very well, plus the Jikook is beyond soft. I enjoyed this fic sooo much.

Glass Diamonds by GinForInk Chapters:1/1 >>> Skater Jungkook, Dance teacher Jimin, A+ smut and fluff, read this fic.

Well Done! by annafeu Chapters:1/1 >>> Okay, I suggest giving the tags a thorough peek through before reading this one because its twisted as fuck, but so damn amazing. This one features Bunny!Jimin, Wolf!Jungkook lots of filthy smut and grade A Jikook. Really great read, however do please read tag warnings before starting if you think you might be uncomfortable!

The Hook series by miskeen >>> Cute as fuck, domestic as fuck, hot as fuck, fuck. Read all the stories in this series please, theyre all 10/10 amazing.

The Good Doctor by snarcsics Chapters:1/1 >>> Frick doods, this was some of the hottest, well written Jikook fics ive ever read. Featuring sex addict Kook psychologist Jimin, and some excellent office sex, yes.

two sides; same story by namjoone Chapters:4/4 >>> Basically Jikook are neighbors and they both secretly think each other are hot as fuck and they rly wanna bang but they wont actually admit it to each other, typical jikook lmao. Anyways, this is sooo good!! Super steamy and super cute 👌

I Know I Can’t Have Him (but I want him anyways) by Shealezz Chapters:4/4 >>> ft fuckboy!Jimin and innocent!Jungkook (also fwb v/min) man this is filthy lmao, but a fantastic read!! God bless innocent bottom Jungkook honestly. Amen.

A Touch of Sin by pettey Chapters:10/10 >>> One word. Beautiful. Absolutely, beautiful. Right from the start to the finish, this fic had me feeling things in every chapter. Its graphic and raw but so beautiful. Highly recommend this one!

Okay last one before I get too carried away….

Relax, Dont Do It by yoongidontdoit (sammyinnerdglasses) Chapters:4/4 >>> Funny, adorable, smutty (extreme switching™) and overall so so good. Wild party animal Jungkook swearing to go at least 90 days without partying, late nights, or sex. But then he meets Park Jimin and that last part becomes slightly extremely hard not to do… *lenny face* Pls read this lmao.

Okay!! Thats all I got for now. I hope you enjoy 😊

Star Vs Theory:

Okay so stuff we know from the book:

  • Star Vs takes place in 2015.
  • Star’s wand ‘tastes like caramel’, with implications the wand changes its taste.
  • The Wand is connected to the universe and has a very small degree of free will. 

So basically here’s my headcanon:

1. The wand has the ability to change how it tastes.


Star’s going to be in one hell of a rude awakening when her wand finds out about the Nintendo Switch in two years.

Super Smash Bros. Art Card #60 (of 50) - Ice Climbers

=Lost But Never Forgotten Series=

It’s the power couple of Smash Bros., before a certain Princess and Luma robbed them of their position. The Ice Climbers were the first retro Nintendo characters featured on the roster of which (like Mr. Game and Watch, R.O.B., and Pit) not many younger players really knew of. Their unique style  of combat was what made them stand out completely, for they presented a true challenge to master and an even greater challenge to compete against. 

What can I say? Two hammers are better than one!

…Unfortunately the Ice Climbers were unable to make it to the latest Smash Bros due to the technical limits of the 3DS. But with the Switch out now and a more than likely re-release of Smash 4 on the horizon, maybe this duo can also make a return and surprise us all again.

Whoopsie i fell and avatar au’ed lance and fukcing going thro that that tag breaths so much life into holy fuc

also let me throw some headcanons ur way

-lance coming from a family of mainly either earthbenders or non-benders

    -poor lance is the only water bender 

    -lives in the earth kingdom!

    -mom is non-bender, step dad is earthbender, biological father is a waterbender!

-Wasnt very good at waterbending cause duh living in the earth kingdom lel not much water to mess around with 

-after meeting the rest of the team, he starts practicing waterbending with shiro (hes teh avatar) 

-looooves to dump water on keiths head

   -says its to “Fix that stupid mullet hair” of his

-Learns How to use healing water very easily ^^

    -Constantly heals everyone (even the smol dumb things like paper cuts)

    -brags about it to in the beginning 

    -”Lance stop wasting the water, you need to save that for when someone actually gets hurt”

    -”But shiro, papercuts suck and i didnt want hunk to die “

-I’d like to think he has a potential to master bloodbending but its too fucking scary for him and so he refuses to learn it >< 

     -i did have an idea where what if he did use it to help save someone >< like the bleeding was to much so he just sneaky-ly bloodbends to stop the bleeding and then switches to healing before anyone can ask/see >< 

idk caring/loving lance kills me and it slipped into this >< hes my son okay (also that outfit is not his official one i just went with something basic for now ^^ i’ll come up with something better later . 3. )

kang daniel as your soulmate

imagine having daniel as ur soulmate where u randomly switch bodies

  • for awhile, u have no clue how ure supposed to find ur soulmate
  • youre in high school the first time it happens
  • youre taking a test, trying to make ur way through the questions when all of a sudden youre just not
  • its like u were transported somewhere because suddenly youre in some sort of dance studio, spinning on your back, while dozens of strangers cheer you on

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【ダイヤのA】 day 1: childhood → smol!miyumei on cleaning duty °u°

You, Me, Him, and the Universe

Description: The universe won’t be any kinder to our children than it was to us if we aren’t kinder than our own fathers were.

Or… the reader and Spencer Reid have a child together. Spencer is desperate not to make the same mistakes that his father made.

Word Count: 1948 words (this got so long, sorry)

A/N: Haha ok so I wrote and deleted and rewrote the whole thing several times. At this point it goes in an entirely different direction from my original idea. Also. This is a Reid x Reader kid fic, but the reader isn’t actually the main focus of the story. It’s mostly Reid and, later, your kid. You make like, a guest appearance basically. Furthermore, I have no idea why nebulizers became so central in this fic. I don’t even know if they had the same kind in the 80s. If you don’t know what a nebulizer is, give it a quick google. Finally, part 1 of this is kind of stream of consciousness-esque and a little vague. I styled it this way because part 1 describes one of Reid’s early memories. Some readers might find it a tad annoying, and I apologize in advance if that is true for you. All of that said, it would be really great if you could give this story a try anyway. I’m actually pretty proud of it.


“I can’t breathe, mommy!” Spencer’s four-year-old body shook with sobs, making it even more difficult for him to inhale oxygen in the midst of an asthma attack.

Normally, his mother would have brought out the nebulizer, helped him get the mask over his face, and gently rubbed his back and read to him as the medicine slowly opened his airways. But she was having one of her “bad days” and was convinced that the medicine had been tampered with and would hurt her son. So the nebulizer had been placed in a cupboard far out of Spencer’s reach, and he was left to cry and wheeze and beg his mother for his medication.

Keep reading


I’ll ask you this favour, man to man…