but they made him want to live love smile want cry and yearn for a little bit longer)

Nothing More [Alternate End]

Genre [Rating] : Angst

Length: 3.3k

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Summary: Watching the man you love love someone else was the most painful feeling in the world.

Nothing More Masterlist

Originally posted by petitbaek

Leaving behind the person you love the most was like ripping your heart out of your chest bare handed. When you boarded the plane that took you miles away from Baekhyun’s sleeping figure, you left your heart there beside him, broken and tattered. It was up to him whether he would try to reassemble the pieces, and up to you whether you would want it back. You had both made so many mistakes and waited so long that you were in the worst situation imaginable, and really, you weren’t sure it was possible to pull back from that. You needed to understand yourself again. You needed to choose what you wanted, and so did he.

You would be lying if you said you hadn’t been petrified to find out his answer.

Keep reading



In which H longs to be selfish


angst, fluff

When Anne gave Harry a ring on a Sunday morning in March, asking whether he was awfully busy one weekend the following month, him being the humble mumma’s boy he was, said he could likely rearrange some things for her and the gathering she had planned back in Holmes Chapel.

Although, he was in two minds since he was raised to act both warmly and professionally in character by none other than Anne herself and didn’t want to screw anyone over by moving, for instance, that informal dinner-come-meeting with a new company he and Jeff were looking in to.

However when Anne elaborated further as to what the event would entail – a relatively intimate reunion of sorts at his childhood home, with old school chums of his and Gem’s, with the parents that Anne got on well with alongside family friends both old and new – Harry couldn’t help but wonder about one person in particular who’s attendance was likely up in the air.

She probably won’t be there, he thought to himself. But it didn’t take long for him to pick up the phone and cancel the damn dinner.

Keep reading

Little Love

Originally posted by jevislanuit

Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: For the seven months following your breakup, you’ve kept your pregnancy a secret from Spencer, unsure of how he would react. But when the two of you are unexpectedly forced to see each other again, it doesn’t take long for your growing secret to reveal itself. Requested by a lovely anon!

Word count: 1,955

A/N: This is based around season 6 and 7, so there may be some spoilers if you haven’t seen those seaons yet. Other than that, I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!

For the first time in three hours, a calm silence had fallen over your apartment.

The fraying copy of “Goodnight Moon” that Henry had picked out was long forgotten as his blue eyes finally gave into the sleep that he had been fighting for so long.

Reveling in your ability to lull the rambunctious toddler to sleep, you placed a gentle kiss on his forehead before carefully removing yourself from the guest bed where he lay — all the while making a mental note to give JJ kudos on how she manages to do it every single night.

Leaving the bedroom door open just a crack, you took a moment to enjoy the still of the atmosphere and out of habit, placed a hand on your ever-growing baby bump.

All night long you had found yourself laughing right along with every little giggle that Henry exuded, and adoring the many colorful drawings that he had created for your refrigerator door. The seemingly permanent smile you wore was in part due to the inherent joy that came with babysitting Henry, and the other half due to the thought that one day, you would be going through the exact same motions with your own child.

But yet, with every bright vision of the future you had, came with it a storm of anxious thoughts.

Seven months ago, the home you had built within the bounds of Spencer’s love began to crumble.

With his rising panic of developing schizophrenia and then the grief he was overcome with after the death of Emily, you watched in agony as Spencer did his best to conceal the crumbling state of his mind from you. It wasn’t until one night, when the demons of his mind became too much to bear, that he confessed to you his contemplation of relapsing. That night ended in heartache, as Spencer’s broken voice ended your relationship, only wanting to protect you from the danger he believed to potentially possess.

But unbeknownst to either you or Spencer at the time, you were not the only ones left in the wake of your fallen love.

Keep reading


Part 15

The entire courtroom filled with the thunderous sound of applause from the prosecution’s side.

Immediately, the members of the team, those people allowed to observe the trial, and Nikita and her assistant counsel delved into conversation. Nikita’s mega-watt smile spread across her face, no doubt thankful to not only have won the case for Y/N, but to have added to her near spotless track record.

While the rest of those in the courtroom were thankful for a conviction on behalf of their victimized loved ones, a casual bystander disgusted by the heinous acts Abel had committed, or a keeper of law and order, Y/N sat amongst them, her hand linked in Spencer’s, staring blankly ahead without adequate words. “It’s over,” she heard Spencer whisper, his voice somehow loud amongst the din of the crowd. “Unless you want to go to the sentencing, you never have to see or hear from him again.” 

When Y/N looked at her watch, she couldn’t believe only 60 seconds had passed since her world had changed forever. It felt simultaneously like no time had passed, and like years had gone by. “Oh my god,” she breathed. Her body began to shake and the tears welled up behind her eyelids, threatening to rain down her cheeks yet again; she’d cried enough for a thousand lifetimes, but these past 24 hours or so had proved to her that her tears wouldn’t forever be linked to loneliness, despair and fear. Now, they held gratitude, and more importantly, hope for her and Ilaria’s future. “Oh my god, it’s over.” Slapping her hand against her mouth, the tears poured freely as she lurched forward and buried her head in her lap. “It’s over, it’s over…it’s over.” 

Spencer hated seeing her cry; every time she’d cried in these past few months he’d had to beat his heart back into his chest because it yearned to break free and share itself with her so she wouldn’t be alone, but she needed this right now. She deserved this release.

After the instantaneous reaction from JJ, Emily, Rossi, Hotch, Derek and Penelope, they all turned to see Spencer with his hand rubbing Y/N’s back as she rocked back and forth. JJ went to speak to her but Spencer silently asked her to stand back; Y/N needed to cry this out. 

It was nearly ten minutes before she lifted her head from her lap and wiped the tears from her eyes. “It’s over,” JJ whispered. She leaned down to wipe a tear from Y/N’s cheek and smile. “You can focus on moving on now.”

Looking around the courtroom, Y/N inhaled deep, her gaze coming to rest on Abel as he was walked out of the room in cuffs and chains. He turned to face her and his smirk disappeared. “Never again,” she whispered. Once he left, she turned to face Spencer. While the verdict was being read, Ilaria was being watched by a guardian ad litem. “Let’s go get our daughter.”


Three days later, Y/N and Spencer decided to forgo attending Abel’s sentencing. Instead, the rest of the BAU went in their stead, overjoyed to let them both know that Abel had been sentenced to a life sentence plus 30 years; he was never going to be leaving prison again.

Although Abel was no longer a physical threat in their lives, there was still so much more work to be done. Now it was time for Spencer to get to know his daughter, and for Y/N and Spencer to get to know each other again.

“Are we going to see Daddy today?” Ilaria asked, her light brown curls bouncing and reflecting the sun’s bright gaze. For the first time, her eyes lit up at the thought of her Daddy. Y/N was afraid that it was going to take a while for herself and Spencer to get back to where they used to be, despite the fact that the majority of her memories had returned to her, but at least Ilaria and Spencer’s relationship could blossom not that they were both out from under the thumb of the most despicable man she’d ever encountered. 

With a little bit of money in her pocket, courtesy of Spencer, Y/N and Ilaria boarded the bus toward Spencer’s apartment. “Yes, we are sweetie. Daddy wants to take you to the park.”

“Can we go on the swings?”

Abel had never let her go on the playground; he claimed he was afraid she’d get hurt, but now Y/N could see it was just another way to keep the two of them under his control. “Definitely. I’m sure Daddy would love that.” 

“Daddy!” Ilaria’s ran into Spencer’s apartment; he’d unlocked the door before they arrived. Y/N’s eyes began to well up when her child’s father – her real father – bent down to pick her up off the floor. He held her so close - like his life depended on it. It was a sight she had never imagined seeing and yet her it was.

“Y/N?” He asked. “Are you okay?”

As she stepped into the apartment and closed the door, she nodded. “Happy tears mommy?”

“Yea, baby,” she replied. “I’m just really happy you have the nicest daddy in the world.” 

Spencer’s eyes softened as she approached, his fingers gently brushing up against hers. “Ready to go to the park?” 

Ilaria bounced up and down in her father’s arms. “Can we go on the swings? I was never allowed to go on the swings.” As her face drew down into a frown for a moment, Y/N chided herself for being duped by Abel, even though Dr. Wasser told her that it wasn’t her fault; when it came to her baby, she was so angry that she’d been denied three years of a true childhood because of him.

“We can absolutely go on the swings. And I made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch.” Seeing Spencer so happy at being a father made Y/N’s heart ache in the best way possible. He’d texted the night before to ask if Ilaria had any food allergies he needed to know about because he wanted to make lunch for everyone.

The park was just down the street from his apartment, so the three of them walked two blocks away – Y/N and Spencer each holding one of Ilaria’s hands. “One, two, three!” Spencer said. The two parents lifted their daughter up in the air, swinging her back and forth as she laughed.

Once the swings were in sight, Ilaria bolted toward them, screaming for Spencer to push her; for an hour, she barely got off the swing, only budging when the glowing father asked her if she wanted to eat. “You make good peanut butter and jellies, Daddy,” Ilaria laughed, peanut butter sticking to her lips and jelly dripping down onto her shirt. She was such a mess – and such a child. Y/N couldn’t have been happier.

“Thank you, baby,” he whispered. Through bites of his own food, he kissed the top of her head. She’d been snuggled up to him the entire time.

After finishing a sandwich and a box of apple juice, Ilaria ran back over the swings. “Push me, Daddy!” Her big, toothy grin made him smile.

“I’ll be right there!”

Y/N happily sat back, wanting to watch the spectacle rather then be included; somehow, right now, it felt more immersive this way. “You’re great with her,” she said softly.

“I’m not going to lie, I’m nervous I’ll mess something up, but I the moment I saw her, I knew whether she was mine or not that I’d love her forever.” Y/N hadn’t initiated contact with Spencer for the most part, but she placed her hand on top of his and gave it a squeeze before he got up to play more with Ilaria.

Nearly two hours went by with Spencer and Ilaria bouncing between the swings, the slide and running around in the grass. “Mommy! Come play!” It was the most perfect day she could’ve ever imagined.

Four hours after they first arrived at the park, Ilaria fell asleep against Y/N’s leg. Spencer picked her up and cradled her head against his shoulder on the way back to his place. “I’ll drive you back,” he said. “I don’t want you to have to take the bus if you don’t have to.”

The two estranged lovers spoke softly as Ilaria slept in the back seat. Thankfully, the traffic wasn’t heavy, so they coasted through the streets, taking the long way around as Spencer regaled Y/N with stories of how he felt when they were first dating. “I’d never wanted anyone more. Trying to work up the courage to ask you out was nearly impossible. I wondered whether or not I should buy you flowers, and then I didn’t because I didn’t want to buy you ones you didn’t like, then I thought maybe I should bring chocolates, but figured that might be cheesy, and finally I just decided to show up, stumble over my words and hope you liked me enough for a second date.”

“I did,” she replied. “And do you remember my favorite flower?”

“Tiger lilies,” he smiled.

As he turned the corner to her apartment, she zoned out for a moment and then blurted out. “Spencer, I just want you to know that I want this to work, but I’m afraid. Not of you,” she added quickly, “Just…afraid…” 

“It’s okay,” he replied.

When he stopped the car, he picked Ilaria up after opening the door for her. “I suspect we’ll come across some obstacles, but you’re here. I still love you just as much as the day we met. I love our daughter, and I swear I will take this relationship and the rebuilding of it as slowly as you need. All I want is a chance at happiness for us again.”

“Okay,” she said, letting go of a held breath. “Thank you.”

With everything out in the open on both sides, they headed upstairs in silence and placed Ilaria in bed. Spencer pulled the comforter over the girl’s sleeping frame and then mother and father left her to sleep. “Goodnight, Y/N,” he said when they got to the door. 

“Night, Spence,” she replied. “I remember calling you that.”

“You did.” All of a sudden, he started to blush, shuffling his feet and looking at the floor. “Can I give you a kiss goodnight?” 

When she nodded, Spencer’s smile could’ve outshined the Las Vegas Strip or Times Square at night. Closing the space between them, he pressed his lips to her forehead, then her nose, and finally to her lips, just barely grazing them with his own before wrapping his arms around her; his left hand cradled the small of her back, while the right had ventured up behind her, coming to rest on her neck.

In the comfort of his chest, she reveled in the feel of his arms encompassing her, when all of a sudden she became petrified.

“I will break you Rebekah,” he said softly, his hand wrapped around her neck and squeezing ever tighter. It kept happening. He kept doing it. Each time he let go, she’d barely catch her breath he returned to his calculated torture. “And once I do, I’ll be a part of you forever.”

“Ahhhhhhhh! Get away!”

With all of her might, she pushed against the body in front of her, sending him back into door, his face frozen in shock and sadness while she began to sob.

@louisianaspell @the-slytherin-ice-queen @twelveyearoldchildprodigy @chocok22 @queen-of-ships172 @cleothecattrash @milkandcookies528 @queenanneslace4 @matsuda-no @trollitis @coldrozes @zoemonster200 @bestfluteninja @rmmalta @paoladb @estrblmkr @entelechysymphony @davidr0ssi @charcoalblack-ish @kimmlez @ultrarebelheart @damedoctoroftardis @alyssaj23 @lookingforgalifrey @criminallyoddsocks @her-submissive-husband @aroseinbloom @brooke0297 @bonobo83 @coveofmemories @sexualemobitch @jamiemelyn @unstoppableangel8 @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @the-yellow-girl96 @hogwarts-konoha @la-devotees @remember-me-forever-silent-angel @clifaye @getthesalt67 @i-swam-through-twelve-oceans @original-criminal-fanfics @sharon6713 @simmvez @captainreid @kayic1 @holy-minseok @criminal-navy-writings @whatwoulddaisyjohnsondo @socalgem1124 @delightfuldisastor @opfer-mensch @jazz91121 @huntynut-queerios @caffeinatedslytherin @b-oota @juliannarayvenne @readingandreiding @kingdomkeyss @the-fandom-phantom-fanfics 

distractions | tyler bate

Originally posted by wrestlingsexriot

Tyler Bate was the UK champion, accomplishing such a prestigious title at just nineteen years old. He had the world in his hands and just about everything anyone could ever wish for- an incredible job, dedicated fans, considerable wealth.

The only thing missing was her.

And at one point, Tyler did, in fact, have her in his life. He had all of her quirks and habits, all of her cheesy jokes and references, all of her love and support. Lucky didn’t even begin to describe his circumstances, but he failed to show it enough; just as quickly as she came into his life, she left.

Or, she didn’t leave, per say. She was driven away by his inability to balance his rapidly-growing career and their relationship. There wasn’t that mutual effort they swore on however many months ago; it was just a pipe dream, after all. The electric feeling she once got even just hearing his voice via short-lived phone calls had sizzled out. There wasn’t much of anything anymore. 

It wasn’t to be blamed on her, either. Though it had been tough, she’d worked through the issues sure to come about with Tyler moving onto the big league of WWE. Greater time away from each other was among that list, looming over them like a dark cloud. If they could make the distance work, they could make anything work.

That was just a pipe dream, too. She’d done her part, devoting countless time to work around his schedule, despite her parents’ disapproval. They’d been convinced it wasn’t worth it, Tyler not being “good enough” for their daughter, not putting forth enough effort to truly make her happy. She’d fought so hard for him, saying over and over again just how happy he made her, the happiest she’d been in her entire life.

Initially, both side puts in equal effort, until it eventually disintegrated into nothing more than a poor relationship drug on by two people unwilling to let go. Tyler knew, to some extent, that he wasn’t the same; his life was ten times more hectic and unfortunately, his relationship felt the consequences. But she would stay, right? They’d overcame too many battles for her to walk away because he was a little distant and distracted. She wouldn’t leave him, he was sure.

Meanwhile, she was fighting this battle on her own. Staying with him hurt like hell, his changed behavior feeling like they had already broken up. And leaving him would be just as painful; she was at war with herself, but neither potential outcome was a victory.

When she finally made a decision, the weight on her shoulder all but lifted. Instead, fifty more pounds were added upon it. The time had come to stop making excuses for Tyler, time to stop hanging on, time to stop being the sole reason they were still together. She hated that she had to finally fulfill her parents’ wishes after all the fighting she’d done with them to defend Tyler, but all along, she’d been the fool in too deep. 

He was due to come home for a few days, but soon enough, he’d be gone once again. Even though she could barely handle talking to him when she was planning to end things as soon as he was home, he deserved much more than a phone call break-up. He may have become too endowed in his career, but that didn’t mean she sought out to break his heart, even if he had unconsciously broken hers. He was chasing his dream and all she could do was chase him.

“Hey, beautiful,” he greeted, his voice alone nearly making her forget about her upcoming announcement. 

She smiled, a weak replica of the one she usually donned when around him. “Hey.”

Rather than springing up from the couch to meet him by the door, she folded into herself, his eyebrows furrowed a bit as he noticed the odd behavior. “Everything alright?” he ensured, dropping his bag as he took a seat and pulled her to his side. 

Every fiber of her being was begging for her to say yes, yearning to stay tucked in his side and away from the harsh reality. It always felt like she belonged there, right in his arms, but she’d learned long ago that she could no longer find a home in Tyler.

“Is it?” she asked, trying to keep the tears at bay. She’d done enough crying to last a lifetime. “Do you think everything’s alright?”

“I’m here with you, everythin’ feels alright with you.”

A sad chuckle slipped past her lips, unfit for the situation at hand. “But are you really here?”

His head turned slightly, unsure of what she meant as he reached forward to wipe away the few unrelenting tears that had managed to bypass her repetitive blinking. She was being too cryptic, but it was a way to avoid the direction this was ultimately heading. Stalling never did her much good, though. 

“Talk to me, love,” he begged, taking her hands in his as she pushed away from him softly, “Y/N, you gotta tell me what’s goin’ on.”

“You can’t be that blind, Tyler. When was the last time we had a conversation with actual substance? We talk to each other just to convince ourselves we’re okay.”

He was silent, attempting to wrap her back into his side again, but she shook her head and stayed in place. 

“Let’s just end it, okay? You’re doing big things and I’m just…I’m just here.”

“No….” he disagreed, his voice much, much quieter and broken than just mere minutes ago, “No, you can’t do this. I’m sorry, I promise I’ll try harder to make this work. I love you." 

Tyler had a life to live. He had schedules to fulfill and goals to be accomplished. At this point in time, she just couldn’t be with him along the way. He could deny it all he wanted, but that was a simple fact. While he was living the life, she’d be rebuilding hers. 

With a tear-stricken face and a wavering voice, she finished it. "It’s over, Tyler.”

There was no moving on process. Tyler didn’t move on; the idea was foreign to him, the words tasting bitter on his tongue when he even thought about speaking them. If he couldn’t be a good enough man for the one he loved most, he didn’t deserve to find new happiness in someone else. Not that he would be able to, anyway. She was it for him, he’d told himself that numerous times when he watched the gentle rise and fall of her chest in the morning.
Even so, he’d fallen into the one trap he vowed to never fall into, losing her in the process. Maybe she was gone for good, maybe he’d never get the chance to hold her in his arms again. For right now, he could somewhat live off the faint memory of her warmth radiating against his chest and the countless pictures they’d taken together in their prime.

And as he explained the story to a friend who had asked about his downcast expressions, he realized just how many mistakes he made. A long time ago, he’d told her he would treat her better than anyone else ever could, yet it had become just another lie. He’d become the man her parents viewed him as, a distracted shell of the person he used to be. 

“Her parents always hated me,” he admitted, tracing his fingers along the rim of his drink, “I guess they were right.”


request ; request ; can u do 457 with oak? it seems v angsty sooo :) thank u so much !

#457: “You told me you wanted to let go. That night… I was coming over to try and fix things.”

requested by anonymous

pairing ; oak x reader

summary ; some relationships, as wanted as they may be, are simply not meant to be.

words ; 1934

warnings ; lost relationships; angst.

note ; finally figured out a semi nice plot line for this request, so i hope you like it!


paris \ ‘pa-rǝs\ n

  • a sentimental yearning for a reality that isn’t genuine.
  • an irrecoverable condition for fantasy that evokes nostalgia or daydreams

You sighed out, looking up at the ceiling of your bedroom. You could feel the bass of the song playing through your speaker, the same song that had been playing on repeat for a while now. The same song you and… him would sing together, dancing around the kitchen and then kissing near the end.

It was the same song that had the definition of paris, something made up, but something you were living through. You had the feeling of dread, the feeling of being empty. You wanted nothing more than turn around and see him lying there, underneath the covers and reading a book, smiling softly at you once he noticed your staring.

He was always a gentle soul, even if he didn’t look it. His skin was dark, and his build was rather muscular, his height also added to the “intimidation bundle” as you’d called it. But he wasn’t as mean as he looked. He gave the warmest hugs, his chest was always an amazing pillow, his arms held you close to his chest when you’d sleep together.

He always wanted happiness for you. He hated knowing you were sad, he hated knowing that he probably had something to do with it.

It didn’t matter now, though. Nothing mattered ─ it was all in the past. He was gone, out of your life, no longer in the picture, no longer apart of the narrative.

But if that was true, why the hell were you still thinking about him? Why did your heart still yearn for him? Why did you still want to see him in your bed when you woke up in the morning? Why did you still want to kiss his lips, his cheeks, his nose still? Why was he still just as big a part of your life as he was when you were still together?

He shouldn’t be, you swore to yourself. We’re over, and I should be okay with that. He wanted to end it and I’m… I’m okay with that.

Maybe some things just weren’t meant to be, right? That’s the answer to your questions; you still thought about him because things weren’t meant to be and your heart refused to comprehend that fact. Yeah, that’s what it was.

You were not still in love with Okieriete Onaodowan. No. You were not and you would never be in love with him again.

Sitting up, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath.

The memory of that night came crashing into your mind like a wrecked freight train.

“You can’t blame this on me, Oak! It’s not my goddamn fault!”

“What the fuck do you mean ‘it’s not my fault’!? You were the one that caused it!”

Keep reading

Live Forever

Part 2 of Guided By Love! You guys want to know how Rafael reacts when he learns where his fiancee put her inheritance money to? Well wait no more!

Warnings: NFSW, but loving and sweet!


Comments and advice are welcome!

The next 24 hours were pure torture! I had to keep a straight face around Rafael, which was no small feat. Other than the fact that Rafael is a well-renowned A.D.A., he is also a human-lie detector. Thankfully though, when he asked me why I was acting nervous or antsy, I could blame Aunt Judith’s death and that it shook me up a bit more than I realized. That turned out to be more truth than lie as I would wake up at night, breaking out in sobs, realizing the woman who really raised me is gone and that I’ll never see her again…Rafael tries to calm me down but all of this, including the impending new case and the death threats directed at Rafa sure hasn’t helped.


Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi! I'd love a request that takes place after Gaara is taken by the akatskui; if not too much to ask could I have one with a s/o that is in love with Gaara and has been his friend forever and how he reacts after waking up. And for the other can it be with a s/o and Konkuro when he was poisoned by Sasori? Thanks!

I only did the scenario request for the Gaara one. In my rules I state only one scenario per request. This request is asking for two different scenarios with two different characters. If I were to fulfill it, this post would be really long and take me longer to write it, which I dont not want. I also saw on someone else’s blog a scenario to the Kankuro request similar to the idea I had, so I just went with my Gaara one to avoid plagiarizing. So I hope you don’t mind and thank you for the request.  

Reader welcoming Gaara back

You had to hold back tears as you gazed at Gaara’s lifeless body on the bright green grass. The scene was heart wrenching for you as you watched Lady Chiyo, Sakura, and Naruto try to revive Gaara. He looked so pale and so still. You couldn’t believe any of this was real.

That this could not be the end of him. Those bloody Akatsuki had stolen him after threatening the Sand Village that he had gave his all to protect. Everyone had witnessed Gaara’s true devotion as he had used the last bit of his strength to save them.

You couldn’t be prouder to call him your Kazekage for his actions but the result had lead your heart to turmoil the moment he was captured. You yearned to rescue him and save him. Your mind and heart not being able to rest for a moment at the thought of him gone.

Now, there was little hope. Gaara was found but his soul had vanished from his body. Feelings of despair filled you. You would never have the chance to tell him how much you really cared for him. You kept your emotions at bay, finding the truth hard to adjust to as you watched Lady Chiyo preform a jutsu.

Your mind was roaming to dark corners, barely registering what was happening. You felt numb and only snapped back to reality when Gaara had risen.

Naruto’s hand was laid upon Gaara’s shoulder with a warm-hearted smile adorning his features. Gaara looked shocked and wide eyed as Naruto greeted him back to the land of the living. It took a moment for him to register Naruto’s words and as Gaara gazed around. He was even more befuddled at the number of Sand shinobi surrounding them.

“They came for you Gaara,” Naruto mentioned softly.

It was still hard for Gaara to believe.

Your heart was slowly filling with happiness at the sight of him breathing, blinking, living. You felt your nerves triple, leading your hands to shake. The polarity of emotions you were feeling causing your body to be anxious as you step forward softly towards Gaara.

His turquoise eyes met yours. Your breath hitched slightly, taking another courageous step forward from your peers surrounding him. He was all that mattered. You didn’t care if others were present in this occasion. You didn’t care what they thought. Hardly anyone knew of the feelings you had harbored for him. The feelings you had hid away for the past five years from him and everyone else. Only those closest to you knew how much you felt for this man that was breathing once again. He was who you wanted to be with.

As you kneeled to the ground in front of him, his expression was perplexed and anticipatory. You were a figure of his past and a comrade in his present. He had many missions with you when he had joined the regular troops and left his sibling’s team. He had the chance to get to know you, recalling you vaguely from his past when he sat on rooftops alone staring out at the moon.

He used to think how he could kill you so easily if you ever made a move to attack him or provoke him, but you never did. You only walked by gazing at him as you passed. It wasn’t a stare that all the other villagers had. It wasn’t filled with hate, disgust, or fear. Gaara could never figure out what that look was and only let you live because of it. He always figured once he could place what that look meant, he could kill you. Now, Gaara was lucky that his younger self could never identify that look. He got to learn how much of a compassionate and kind person you are. He even would dare to call you his friend upon all your interactions.

Seeing you currently crouched before him after waking up, he wasn’t sure what to say. However, words were not needed as your arms soon encompass him around his neck. You held him tight as Gaara slowly adjusted to your embrace. His nose and mouth covering your shoulder as his eyes softened.

He wasn’t use to human contact and only started to bring up his hand to cup lightly at your back in return. He was aware of the other people’s eyes upon him and seeing particularly his sibling’s relief that he was alive.

“Don’t ever leave. We need you,” You managed to say shakily.

Gaara nodded, knowing you were referring to the village.

“I need you,” you admitted quieter.

Gaara froze at that, surprised by the confession. It took him a moment to touch your back with his palm as he nodded curtly once again. He wasn’t sure how to process your words as you broke away from him. You were smilingly numbly, your eyes watering and he could tell how you were fighting not to cry.

Then he saw that look again in your gaze that he couldn’t identify. It made his mind swirl with thoughts yet he was at a loss for words. Others began welcoming him back and he knew he would have to put his pondering inquires aside until some other time.

Burned Out

Part 2 

Pairing: EXO Baekhyun X Reader

Genre: Angst

Word count: 2,019

A/N  Thank you for sending in my first request, anon! Baekhyun is also my bias too<3 I hope you enjoy it. This is pretty sad, but maybe a part 2 can be written if anyone’s wanting a happier ending!

You should have seen it coming. It was all your fault. Snapping at him was like throwing a lighter onto petrol: you’d triggered the explosion. You stared at the photo frame sitting sickeningly brightly on the dresser opposite your double bed. The couple inside beamed at you, almost taunting the turmoil you felt you were in. You toyed with the flimsy piece of paper in your fingers.

It had been a Sunday. You were sitting at the dining table in your shared apartment with your boyfriend, Baekhyun. The two of you had been together for three years now. You’d cooked Baekhyun’s favourite meal for him, as a small surprise for when he’d come home from work to act as a gesture of your love. The table was draped with a maroon tablecloth and three candles decorated the table. These days Baekhyun had been coming home progressively late and you’d noticed him becoming more and miserable. He’d come into the apartment late in the evening, throw his stuff on the floor and find something quick to eat then join you in bed and go straight to sleep. It was like you barely spent time together anymore. Although you wondered if there was something acting as a barricade from Baekhyun you’d reassure your mind that he was extremely busy right now with promotions and performances. It’d all die down soon.

Now you were staring at the steam floating up from the food into the air and disappearing. Like a flame igniting then going out almost instantly. It wasn’t Baekhyun’s fault that it was getting cold, he didn’t even know you’d planned a meal for him. The wax from the candles was dripping. You sighed and migrated yourself to the couch, just a few metres from the table and turned the TV on.

Almost two hours later the door finally clicked open and you heard Baekhyun shuffle inside. The familiar clunk of his bag being heavily placed on the ground made you tense up. Why was he so harsh with his movements all the time? You stood up as Baekhyun entered the living room. You tried your best to muster up a genuine smile.

“Hey,” you said softly. Baekhyun mumbled a greeting in reply. He looked rugged, worn out and unhappy. His dyed red hair that had started to fade stuck up messily. You could see the dark circles under his eyes. “I made dinner. Your favourite, although it’s probably gone cold now,” you said, laughing with a hint of bitterness in your voice.

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Fic: Who Am I (T)

Author’s note: Um, this is a spec fic for 4.16. Angsty fluff? I don’t know. I woke up from my nap and there it was, demanding to be written. Spoilers, obviously.

Who Am I

Who am I?

Emma buried her face in her hands, grinding the heels into her eye sockets. As if she could blot out the terrible nightmare. Or her mother’s words.

Her mother. Who was she? Just who the fuck did Snow White (Ha, wasn’t that name a laugh now.) think she was?

I’m your mother.

I don’t care.

It was the nightmare that started it. The last thing she remembered was sitting in the station with Killian. Trying to process. Gold wanted to turn her heart dark. He wanted her, Emma, for his evil scheme. Again. Hadn’t that asshole already taken enough from her? Made her his puppet on a string to break his fucking curse? But that didn’t seem to be enough.

She didn’t recall falling asleep.

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Two weeks passed. I’d begun to give up on all hope of talking to any of them. I had gotten back on a normal sleep schedule but it didn’t feel worth it. I didn’t like the feeling of not having anything to look forward to. I had my friends but they didn’t make me feel like he did. My friends noticed how different I was. I didn’t make as many jokes or fangirl as hard anymore. They called me a drag a few times. Which wasn’t appreciated. My family hadn’t seemed to notice anything. I acted the same around them as always. Not that they’d notice anyway but still. I tried not to make myself obvious. If they did find something strange about how I was acting, I wouldn’t be able to explain myself. They wouldn’t believe I was in a relationship because I never left the house. They wouldn’t understand being in an online relationship. It would just sound like I was being immature or Catfished or whatever. They didn’t care enough to let me actually explain it & I really didn’t want to anyway. 

I sat on my bed everyday, just staring at my computer. Even if it was off. I was having a hard time accepting the fact that he wasn’t there anymore. If I turned it on & went into the chat, it would be empty. I was alone, in a sense. I was empty & didn’t know what I was going to do with myself. I couldn’t just move on. Not after everything I’d been through. I was getting so close to figuring out who he was. I wanted so badly to just know. Then we could talk freely & be normal people with each other. Instead of secrets & guessing, we’d be able to share, or be totally open. But now that was all gone. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I couldn’t deal with the idea of him just disappearing. It was tearing me up. I’d never had my heart broken & I didn’t want to be there yet. I was still young, I still had so many good years before I needed to have my heart basically ripped out & put through a wood chipper. Right now I just wanted to be happy & talk to him without feeling rejected. 

Sometimes life isn’t fair, but this was ridiculous. I would spend every day like a zombie wandering around, doing nothing & not talking. I just wanted to be left alone, never to be bothered with feelings or emotions ever again. I was a wreck in the worst way. I didn’t have the motivation to do or say anything at all. My mom would look at me & I could tell she kind of knew I was going through something but she’d never ask. Instead, I would just shuffle passed her & go to my room again. I wanted to sit in the dark & sulk. Be sad. Be anything but happy. I couldn’t feel happy anymore, it was like any sense of good in the world was suddenly tainted. Happy feelings made me feel worse. I would see things that used to make me smile & I would scowl at them with distaste. It wasn’t pretty but I didn’t give even a single fuck because I was so unbelievably done with everything. I couldn’t cry though, even with everything I was feeling. I’d never been one of those people who cried because they were sad. I cried out of frustration or pure & utter entertainment. Like laughing too hard. 

I tried to cry, hoping it would make me feel better but literally nothing would happen. I’d sit there like a moron making faces & trying to force it out of myself but to no avail. I was more angry at myself for not being able to than I was angry for the reason why I wanted to in the first place. I needed something to distract me from thinking about it all but I didn’t see what could possibly do that. I was a loner who had no one to talk to or hang out with. I didn’t go to the cinema or the mall like normal people my age. I sat in my room & talked to people online. People. Online. Members. Of an internationally famous group. Who were now no longer there to talk to. Shit. Not thinking about it didn’t last long. My mind was swelling with thoughts of them all again. I was so upset. But I was mad. I didn’t get a warning for fuck’s sake. They could have tried. Made a new account or some shit. Did they even try? Did they care at all that I might possibly get very, very sad that they were just gone? No, probably not because they were selfish. Though I didn’t know them well enough to think that for sure. But right now I was mad so I let myself think it. I thought it hard. 

Once I’d hit the one month mark, I was pretty much just completely lost. I didn’t sleep, I hardly ate & my will to do anything was absolutely gone. It sounds stupid, I know. Trust me. I know. Because I didn’t even know personal details about him. But I felt so attached to him that it was like I was missing my other half. In the least cheesy way possible. Like… I just didn’t know what I was doing anymore. The dark circles under my eyes had worsened somehow, which I never thought was possible. My hair was just like dead weight on my head at this point. The roots had started showing & I didn’t care at all. Let them show. They were free to live their life. I wouldn’t stop them. I wouldn’t hinder their growth or stunt their yearning for freedom from hair dye. I would let them be what I couldn’t be, happy. I ached the feeling of being cared for. In a different way than I’d get from my family or anyone who wasn’t him. He was the only one who could make me feel truly worth the life I was given. Not that I was suicidal over this. But I didn’t see a point anymore. What was life anyway?

Don’t judge me, but I’d started talking to a picture of the guys. I knew it was crazy & I wasn’t having conversations with them but I’d just vent my frustrations about them ditching me. I wanted to tell someone & this was the only way I could. I’d put my focus on the four remaining members that were possibly him & I’d stare at them for like hours each, trying to force myself to feel a spark with them through my mind. Like make a connection somehow that told me who he was. But the more I stared, the harder it became to look away. From any of them. Even the ones I knew weren’t the one I’d fallen for. He was one of them, he was there in front of me. But I couldn’t make myself see him. Why couldn’t I just be psychic? It wouldn’t matter anyway because I’d never talk to him again, but at least I’d be able to sleep at night knowing I was talking to one of the four faces. If it was any one of them, I’d be happy. I would have been happy with any of the twelve. But now that it was just the four, I realized which one that I really wanted it to be. He was always so cute & shy but that didn’t match with our conversations. Maybe because people are different online. I know I am. 

But with how I saw him in interviews, he was so quiet & patient. I wanted to be with someone like that. Even though, now, I never would because he was gone. I tried to force the thoughts of just him out of my head long enough to consider the others too but I kept coming back to him. His eyes & the way he was always so calm. I just couldn’t help it. I wanted to know if I was right. If I’d lost my mind or if I was totally justified in thinking it was him. I’d convinced myself it was him, but I knew that if I was wrong, I’d cause so much trouble. For myself & for them. But nonetheless, I’d have loved him anyway, no matter which face was behind the screen. Because I connected to him deeper than just what I’d observed as a fan. I’d gotten to see… talk to him on another level.

A month turned into three really slowly but also fast at the same time. I’d almost gone a week without thinking about it. But sometimes I’d get little flashes of conversations or someone would bring up a subject that made me think back to something he’d said. It wasn’t easy to escape. I was trying to get my life back on track. I stopped going on my computer so much to make my mom happy, I’d even gotten a few small makeup jobs here & there to make a little bit of money. I didn’t need a man, I was strong & kind of independent. But there were still parts of me that yearned to speak to him again. It was a whirlwind of a month that I got to talk to him but it all ended so fast that it was harder to let go. If I’d been able to say goodbye… I would have moved on sooner. I almost laughed at myself thinking about how I acted when I was talking to him. So desperate & clingy. He must have thought I was crazy. Secretly. Because I would have. I didn’t see why he liked me so much.

That was me putting myself down to feel better honestly. I needed some kind of release so that I could talk myself into getting over it. I was trying so hard to have a life now. I’d made a friend at work. He was nice. That’s all I knew about him so far. I’d just started kind of hanging out with him on a daily basis since we’d discovered our shared love for K-Pop. He instantly gained my respect when I’d played an Exo song at a job & he didn’t tell me to turn it off or call it “garbage”. He just laughed & sang along. He knew the words. He. Knew. The. Words. To an Exo song. I could have died. I wanted to. But I contained myself. We’d bonded over the genre & that helped me a lot, even if it did remind me of him still. It just felt nice to have someone to talk to in person about things & stuff. I was pretty sure I was starting to like him. He’d smile at me all the time at jobs & I’d get all goofy about it. I was pretty sure that was a good sign. I’d never been smiled at before so I could have been mixing up the complicated signals. 

I invited him over to my house when my parents weren’t home one day, because you know, as a 20-something year-old, it’s unacceptable to have boys in your room. So I kind of had to sneak him in. We just hung out though. No hanky panky. No thanky. I just liked talking & being around someone. He would hug me a lot & make stupid jokes that made me smile & shake my head at the same time. It was wonderful. But I’d always get a little sad again, being reminded that he might be somewhere thinking about me while I’m here with someone else. Even if we were just friends, I felt like I was cheating or something. But then I remembered, three months. It has been three months since I’d last talked to him or had any contact with him. I didn’t even get a tiny note or anything since then that told me he was trying. I was frustrated. But I let myself be with this new person to calm my nerves. I let him get close to me & cuddle me. The way I wanted to cuddle with him three months ago.

I felt comfortable with how things were now. They were easy & carefree which I’d never experienced before. I knew something was going to mess it up eventually, like me saying the wrong thing or me not wanting to go somewhere or me just being me, but for now I let myself enjoy it. Because that’s what I felt like I deserved… even if I felt selfish for saying & thinking it. I was a selfless person who never put myself ahead of others but for now, I knew I needed to try. I needed to let myself be the only thing I was focused on. I’d lose myself if I didn’t find myself. Or whatever. You know what I mean. I tried my hardest to be everything I thought people wanted, but now I wanted to be who I wanted to be. Whether is WAS selfish or not. 

A/N: I feel like that was a load of nonsense but hopefully you all understood it. I was trying not to make it too serious because this fic is totally not serious. I mean… there was smut. So. I hope you all liked this one. Let me know your guesses for what will happen in the next chapter~ xo