you know what really killed me when i was rereading the book and i couldn’t stop crying? that part when elio was visiting oliver and found out that oliver knows so many things about his life “…surprising me with his total familiarity with every aspect of my career. He knew everything, had kept abreast of the most insignificant details. In some cases, he must have dug out information about me that could only be obtained by surfing the Web. It moved me. I’d assumed he’d totally forgotten me.“ and also how some people can think that oliver didn’t love elio as much as elio loved him? yes we see everything through elio’s eyes but i think we have enough little details in the book to understand that everything what happened between elio and oliver meant so much to oliver. basically he was leaving in the past. he had two lives - one with elio even though they haven’t seen each other so many years, elio still was everywhere: he followed his career, his ghost was in oliver’s office in the reproduction of a bearded mithraic figure that they bought together and elio’s postcard of monet’s berm. and one life with his wife and kids. and while elio chose the safest path - he just shut all his feelings down and didn’t want to think about it, oliver didn’t want to let anything go. it was exactly what mr. perlman was talking about. “In your place, if there is pain, nurse it, and if there is a flame, don’t snuff it out, don’t be brutal with it. Withdrawal can be a terrible thing when it keeps us awake at night, and watching others forget us sooner than we’d want to be forgotten is no better. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything—what a waste!” because without this oliver’s whole life would have been a coma or a parallel life as he was saying. and he didn’t want this, i’m sure sometimes it was unbearable to think that they let each other go, but it was more important to him to not forget those happiest days in his life. and when elio met oliver and they talked elio realised it as well, he admitted something about what he didn’t want to think before
hey uncle mod, this might be dumb or just, idk it's so small and I feel stupid even for being hurt by it, but someone recently just made fun of the fact that I like something and draw and write about it a lot- but it's a safe space for me, creating and thinking about that subject. It's just fanart and theories and such, but the world is so bad rn and when I see you being a pro artist and still geeking out making fanart it it's so energizing and comforting- do you ever have to deal with cynicism?