Apologise to kids
Everyone who spends any time at all around children is going to eventually do something that requires an apology. You might be snappish to a kid, or forget something important to them, or trip and bump into them. No one is perfect, and when these things do happen, it’s important that adults – parents, especially – be able, willing, and ready to apologise to children.
shows them that they are important to you, their feelings are important
to you and that you care enough to try not to hurt them. (Everyone needs this knowledge in order to feel safe in a relationship.)
- It models healthy ways to deal with conflict - how to keep a relationship a happy and safe place even after something bad happens.
- It models for them how to take responsibility for actions you regret, instead of just pretending those things didn’t happen.
- It teaches them that even authority figures can be held accountable for harming less powerful people.
- It shows them that the thing you did that requires the apology is a wrong thing to do and that they should not mimic that behaviour.
- It teaches them to expect the people around them to be accountable for their own behaviour, and it teaches them not to internalize blame for how other people treat them.
adults routinely fail to apologise to children, children notice. They learn
that the function of an apology is to pacify an authority figure,
because that’s the only example they get. They learn that they are not
respected or heard and that their feelings won’t matter to others until
they, too, have control over someone less powerful.
learn from your example even more than they learn from your words. Teach
your kids how loving and respectful relationships feel, so they can take that knowledge with them into the rest of their life and make better choices because of what you taught them.