but that's what makes it funny


mentioning his height is probably like a taboo in the house

yeah if you haven’t noticed before, the age differences in this au are slightly different from canon. I wanted the kids to be closer in age so I made the gap smaller (I mean Wendy is like, what, 6,7 years younger than Natsu and Gajeel? Yeah, I just didn’t want to make them teenagers here I guess)

alternative title for this post: everyone bullies Sting


or: Viktor Suffers, the fic

ao3 link

Inspiration:  “you’re a celebrity who just broke up and i tweeted you a selfie with the caption “date me” as a joke but you thought i was serious?” au

It happens approximately one week after Yuuri’s disastrous performance in Sochi.

“Oh hey!” Phichit exclaims around the same time a twitter notification shows up on Yuuri’s phone. Yuuri quickly snatches it up. He has notifications set for Viktor’s tweets and only Viktor’s tweets, considering that he’s Viktor Nikiforov and Yuuri can’t help but want to know every single thing about him.

“It’s rare that you see Viktor Nikiforov tweet about his personal life! I almost thought he didn’t have one,” Phichit jokes. It’s true; Viktor usually tweets about skating, and a little about his dog. He’s nothing like Christophe Giacometti, who tweets every day about what he’s eating and the domestic bliss he shares with his husband, and definitely nothing like Phichit who’s, well, Phichit.

Yuuri taps on the notification and Viktor’s tweet shows on his screen.

Viktor Nikiforov @v-nikiforov
I wish I could date pretty black haired boys who dance well.

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Okay so i have a really funny story that I just remembered now,,,,

I was showing my boyfriend who isnt very into voltron some voltron crack. And almost every single one of the scenes was the ICONIC “we had a bonding moment, i cradled you in my arms”

And my boyfriend knows i really ship klance and so after a few videos (NOTE HES NOT INTO SHIPPING OR LIKE VOLTRON AT ALL)

he says ,,, “wow that would be so funny if the whole bonding moment scene was real and not just a voice overed thing to make it more shippy and funny”


AND HE JUST SAYS “Really?? I thought it was something this person made to make it more gay???? What”



Chloe’s a savage
Close enough?
(Bad Cheetos pun from my lame boyfriend <3)

  • <p> <b>Del:</b> alright so i was in the elevator right? And i didnt know there were more people there-<p/><b>Mini:</b> its such an enclosed space! How would you not know??<p/><b>Del:</b> it was alot of us! Okay- so we are in the elevator right? And theres this old woman, and toonz said a funny right?<p/><b>Vanoss:</b> oh god i remember this<p/><b>Del:</b> and i said, " thats not what you said when you fucked me last night "<p/><b>Vanoss:</b> * WEEZES *<p/><b>Del:</b> and vanoss makes it worse saying we make videos on the internet!<p/><b>Vanoss:</b> oh yeah! I-i told the lady, " dont worry we make videos for kids online "<p/></p>
Oh (Brother), you fought Darth Vader. I am so proud of you. You got him. And I helped too!
—  My cousin’s preschoolers went to Disney. The little sister provided moral support via “using the Force” while her big brother went and fought Darth Vader (his mom was briefly worried he was going to just drop the saber and opt for giving the dark lord a hug instead)

ya know what?? i need more blogs to follow. my dash is dead 90% of the time so if you reblog stuff like:

  • Markiplier
  • Jacksepticeye
  • Cryaotic
  • Game Grumps
  • Mass Effect
  • Fire Emblem
  • Pokemon
  • Bioshock
  • Anything art related (tips, references, etc)
  • OCs (I love learning about others ocs!!)
  • Animals!!
  • and i dunno, if you reblog funny shit, thats cool too. my dash is lacking a lot of that.

like or reblog this post and ill check your blog out! :)

the other day a good guy friend of mine jokingly called me a bitch for taking his seat. i said “don’t call me that” and he said no no i was just joking and i said thats not funny, dont ever call me that. and he apologized. 

i had to consciously fight my knee jerk reaction to laugh along, because its so easy to think about what you would do or say in a situation but when it comes to it in real life, it’s a lot harder. this is such a small interaction that happened like nbd but it did make me feel more powerful. and i forced him to give me the respect to never call me bitch again, and i’ll do it again when another guy tries. we’re all getting better and braver

Funny story: so i asked our chef if he could hand me a container of simple syrup that i could use to make vanilla syrup for our egg creams and milkshakes. Later on, i get an order for a vanilla egg cream, make it, but it looks kinda different and weirder than usual. I check the milk to see if it had gone bad, but it was fine so i shrug and send it out. Got it returned saying it tasted funny, and i was like “huh, thats weird.” The only ingredients in a vanilla egg cream are vanilla syrup, milk, and seltzer, and if the milk is fine what else could be wrong with it? A couple other servers and i are trying to figure out what’s wrong with the egg creams when i open the container with the vanilla/simple syrup mixture, take a whiff, and immediately notice something was off. Couldn’t tell what, though, so i pour a little out, take a sip, and IMMEDIATELY SPIT IT OUT. The “simple syrup” wasn’t /actually/ simple syrup, it was fREAKIN’ VINEGAR. It was the most DISGUSTING thing i’ve ever tasted EVER. We all had a good laugh about it, but man that taste stayed in my mouth for so long. Yuck!

sirius offline

Remus: *Walks in* Sirius have you eat-… what is that? 

Sirius: Nothing… 

Remus: wow… thats not funny Pads 

Remus: Idiot. have you eaten or not? 

Sirius: no 

Remus: Right, come down and i’ll make something *turns to leave* 

((OOC: And with that im going to have to call it a night guys <3 thank you to everyone who sent messages)) 


INTP: *Playing Pokemon Go*

ISTJ: What’s going on?

INTP: I tried to catch it, but I think the app crashed, and now it’s not here anymore.

INTJ: That’s because it’s spending too much energy stealing your personal information to sell to other countries.

INTP: Well, I wish it would hurry up, so I can catch this Weedle.

ISTJ: Oh my god.

heisei riders as wolfpupy tweets
  • godai: please take this token of my appreciation, its a novelty coin with a picture of me doing a thumbs up on it. its basically worthless
  • shoichi: for as long as i can remember i have been able to remember things, maybe even before that
  • shinji: hey murderers and killers, knock it off. stop killing and murdering all the time, thats just my opinion though
  • takumi: please stop using the term 'lone wolf' when it is clearly a man
  • kenzaki: love is a battlefield. huh love is a emotion or feeling? then what the hell is a battlefield?? no no this doesnt make sense at all
  • hibiki: live, laugh, love, motor cycle
  • tendou: funny how only once the sun has left the sky the moon and stars come out, its almost as if they dont want to be around it
  • ryotaro: me: life is bullshit | me but with different hair this time: youre right about that | me: thank you so much
  • wataru: on the darkest nights if you go to the abandoned castle you can hear my haunting pipe organ version of Natalie Imbruglia's 'Torn'
  • tsukasa: at the end of the day who is truly to blame, me, or countless others
  • shotaro: if a gust of wind blows your hat away move on, live your life, several years later you may just see a stray dog wearing that very same hat
  • philip: instead of saying what you are all thinking i say what everyone would be thinking if they were as cerebrally intelligent as me
  • eiji: im sure im going to ruffle some feathers with this but given the choice between good times and bad times i would like to have the good times
  • gentaro: one of these days i will float up off into damn space and no one can stop me, not even gravity or nasa
  • haruto: if the magic spells i wrote dont work its because you dont believe in them enough. no refunds
  • kouta: its all fun and games until its not that anymore
  • shinnosuke: ugh this corpse is riddled with bullets, whos been shooting guns into this. this whole crime scene must be crawling with bullets
  • takeru: if anyone needs me i'll be dead in my grave
  • emu: these days if your video game doesnt have an energy drink themed DLC car you might as well ship it directly to a landfill, im not playing it

CS: People think we are dicks. But we’re not, we’re very nice guys. So I think that’s what people get wrong.

happy birthday, my darling @soundofyourlife

anonymous asked:

ok ok but on the subject of louis' paternity being So Obvious can you just imagine anne having to tactfully take her son aside during puberty and say darling,, i know you really want to grow that mustache out to see what it looks like but perhaps the week before the dinner you are hosting with first minister aramis is not the best time? you will be sitting next to each other for most of the evening... and sweetheart make sure to wash your hair so it doesn't get too curly


like remember when she made the babyTM wear that awful wig and u were like dude…. why??? and then the second u saw the baby without the wig u were like “oh my God thats why”

anyways this continues and its eternally funny. everyone is in on the “play off the similarities between the king and the first minister as PURELY COINCIDENCE” train. and it gets increasingly difficult bc louis idolizes aramis so ofc like, if aramis puts his hair in a ponytail, louis wants to do the same thing! if aramis has a mustache, louis wants one too! he picks up little things like the way he swings his arms when he walks or the twitch of his eyes when he’s thinking abt something intensely and anne is in a constant state of “extremely endeared but constantly stressed”. which is fine bc nothing bad ever happens bc happy endings are more important than realism BUT ANYWAYS, the point is, the older louis gets the more anne is like “we need a plan of action” and aramis is like i dunno i could shave? and anne is like no no dont do that then it would be even more obvious and they are STUMPED. 

“my grandfather was SO VERY TALL!” says anne, when louis hits fourteen and has three growth spurts in succession

“isn’t it nice that he has the late kings curls,” says constance, laughing exaggeratedly and slapping some courtier on the back

“i remember marie de medici’s second cousin twice removed tanned really easily in the sun,” says athos gravely, and the members of the council mutter and nod in agreement

like i really think any time anyone finds out The Truth their immediate thought is like … wo w … i need my eyes checked,,,, how did i miss that …

i love them all sdkfhsld