after thinking about it for months, after almost a year and a half of identifying as bisexual and after talking to a few lovely people (you know who you are ❤ thank you!), i have finally decided to start labelling myself as a lesbian.
i cannot tell you how liberating this feels, to realise that i don’t have to pretend i am interested in men anymore, that all the attraction i felt towards them was heteronormativity and other people’s expectations breathing down my neck, that the attraction i still feel towards some men is purely aesthetical. it took me so long to come to terms with the fact that it wasn’t that i couldn’t see myself in a relationship with a man because i’ve never been in one or because i didn’t think i was ready, but because i genuinely do not see myself ever dating and being happy with a man, while the prospect of dating a woman sounds pretty fucking sweet tbh.
all that being said, the reason i’ve been apprehensive about changing my label (even though bisexual hasn’t felt right for a while) was because of the ever present misconception that bisexuality is a ‘phase’ or a ‘stepping stone’ to coming out as gay and that is absolutely not true!! someone made me realise that what i identified as in the past is in no way any less valid than what i identify as now or what i will identify as in the future. my past self was bisexual and that’s the end of that. i’m not my past self anymore.
i’m still struggling with my identity and it’ll take me a while to feel like i deserve?? (tho what even qualifies as deserving) to call myself a lesbian, but for now i feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and i’m feeling so much more optimistic. i would be lying if i said i didn’t know why i made this post. i made this post because this blog is very personal to me and i need an outlet to share a part of myself that i’m not always able to share in real life. plus it’d be pretty weird if i just changed my bio and my 'bi tag’ out of nowhere :)) if any of you feels the same way or is going through the same thing, don’t hesitate to message me, i would be more than willing to listen to you and give you as much advice as i can considering i’m still new to all this myself. i love y'all ❤