but that's a good one damn

anonymous asked:

What's you favorite supernatural crack ship? Mines Bobby's Wheelchair x Famine

Thats…. amazing.

Crack ship?

Dean’s bedside tables.

Originally posted by bridget-malfoy-stilinski-hale

Seriously. They thought they were finally getting together. Cas finally becomes human and Dean brings the second one in from the storage unit, after all these years, they finally found each other. There was a good solid time of of UST and eye fucking each other across the room then BAM. Cas is re-graced, Kevin is dead, everything gone to crud and bedside table 2 gets taken back to storage.

The loss is too much and bedside table 1 succumbs to the mark. The mark left by Dean’s glass of whiskey one night as he drank himself into a stupor to not feel anymore…

Top Five Worst Tapirs Diseases

Well Good Morning All You Little Critters Its Me Seymour. And Today Since Gerold Has A Bit Of A Cold I Will Write One Good Article For You People And Here It Is: TOP FIVE TAPIRS DISEASES


5. FAT-RUMP FEVER

Well To Start Off With Here Is One Of The Most Common Ailments For Us Tapirs: Name Of “Fat-Rump Fever”. Every Tapir In The World Has A Powerful Engine Inside Of Us To Give Us Power And Confidence But When You Eat Too Much Damn Beef And Pork You Know What Will Happen. All Clogged Up


4. ROSTROUS TORQUE

Now Most Tapirs Just Have A Little Jump Around And Sniff Something In Their Life And They Think “Thats That” And Calmly Expire. But With Rostrous Torque You Just Absolutely Never Know – Twisting Around All The Time And Bomping Into All Sorts Of Cosmic Megastructure Really Anything Could Happen And Thats Why It Is SO Dangeros. 


3. SUPERNAL SPILLS

Oh Supernal Spills… Oh Supernal Spills… Oh Supernal Spills… Just One Of The Worst Diseases For Anybody Let Alone A Poor Little Tapir To Have. Supernal Spills Is When One Boastful Fellow Lets There Ego Stream And Stream Up Into The Stratosphere And Broadcasting Theyre Huge Amazon River Of An Ego To Any Who Will Listen. Many Of You People Have This Awful Disease


2. RUPTURES

Sometimes In A Day A Tapir Gets Some Ruptures And His Sweet Ichor Just Comes Flowing Out Like Thick Cream. Absolutely No Danger To Us Tapirs But The Problem Is It Can Attract All Kind Of HORRIBLE Offspring Of Lelwani And Other Fuckers Who Just Thirst To Slurp It Up With Their Foul Proboscis


1. "THE THRUM”

anonymous asked:

Dude I can't believe you're so young??? Like you should be so proud of everything you've achieved ALREADY in life damn Rooting for you Ethan have a good one

Wow, thats really really nice :’) thank you! I am incredibly lucky and grateful for everthing that’s happened in my life :) I definitely dont deserve all of the praise I get. Very nice of you!

  • Winston: Ok everyone. I just went over the books and we are going to have to start cutting back on things.
  • Pharah: What things?
  • Winston: Well for one. You'll have to try to buy cheaper replacement parts for your suit.
  • Pharah: I...Ok?
  • Winston: Good, try sharing with Reinhardt. Next. No more unnecessary expenses. This includes imported coffee and tea.
  • 76: You will regret this.
  • Winston: Deal with it. Shotguns.
  • Repaer: We need weapons.
  • Winston: Learn to reload a damn shotgun, Gabe.
  • Video game subscriptions.
  • D.VA: Oh come on.
  • Winston: You alone have 20 subscription going right now pick one. Also you are going to have to stop blowing up you mech.
  • D.VA: But that's on the MEKA's dime.
  • Winston: Yes. But they are fed up with that and are making us pay for it.
  • Next on the list. No more home brewed explosives.
  • Junkrat: DAMN IT, MONKEY! THIS IS IMPORTANT!
  • Winston: It wouldn't be a problem if 80% of the materials didn't explode during manufacturing.
  • Ok this is a big one. Please stop destroying the arcade in Hanamura.
  • Everyone: No.
  • Sombra: Ok, I have a quick fix for all this. Check the online account again.
  • Winston: ...When and where did this come from?
  • Sombra: When. The second you said "start cutting back" and Where? Doesn't matter.
  • Winston: Ok everyone, thank you for your time. Ignore what I just.
  • Except you, Gabe. Learn to reload.
  • Reaper: No.
If BTS was a reality show Pt. 3

Jin: / in the confession booth/ So I’ve called some of the girls over for tea..since you know how us moms can be. I always enjoy spilling tea with my girls and also catching up with each other.

Originally posted by jjilljj

Suho: /pours vodka into his tea/

Key: I see you’ve started drinking again

Suho: And I see you’re still fake af

Originally posted by qrishan

Jinyoung: Hey now..lets not fight..we’re here to relax and have a good time 

Originally posted by periwin5les

N: Wow Jin you’re glowing whats got you all happy?

Jin: Oh me and joonies anniversary is this week and i’m just really excited thats all

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

Suho:/ Triggered/ oh it must be nice..at least you still have a husband that’ll come home to you

Originally posted by bemineinseoul

N :Oh honey /rubs his back/

Originally posted by shit-vixx-say

Suho: that bitch left me without saying goodbye

Key : /rolls his eyes/ every single time 

Jinyoung:/starts tearing up/

Originally posted by holyfuckmark

Jin : oh whats wrong with you?

Jinyoung: one of my youngest…bambam…he dabbed for a whole year straight /bursts into tears/ that boy just won’t stop and its driving me crazy

Jin;/ hugs him as he cries/ my youngest won’t spend time with me 

Key: Honestly all of my kids are doing great…they’re either acting, modeling or singing /flips his hair/

Suho:/glares/ Well hoe your bank ain’t doing too good from what I’ve heard

Key: The way I spend my  money is my business  and only my business..the only thing you need to worry about is which one of your sons is going to leave you next

Originally posted by rin-the-kpopper

Jin: Damn key you don’t have to bring it that far…not cool

Suho: No no Jin let the dog speak

Key: /chokes on his tea/ Dog? tf…did this bitch just call me a damn dog

Originally posted by kagayakimasu

Suho: hell yes I just did the fuck you gonna do about it

Key: THATS IT /jumps over the table and tackles suho onto the floor fighting/

Jin: NOOOOO, NOT MY GOOD CHINA / gets up to check on his fine china/

Cameracrew:/ runs in to break up the fight/

Jhope :/watching from a distance smoking his weed/ Now that is what I call good tea

Originally posted by cyyphr

N:/secretly shoving cookies into his bag/

Originally posted by muunstahhx

Jinyoung:/helping the crew break up the fight/

Jin:/In the confession booth/ And that was tea time…amazing wasn’t it…we plan on meeting next week for brunch

Originally posted by chimchams

Imagine if the basement tapes were a bunch of videos of Eric and Dylan baking and doing crafts part 2
  • Dylan: *is filming eric* today me and reb are going to show you how to make a godlike scrapbook for all your godlike memories.
  • Eric: *holding up scrapbooks* first you need to get yourself a scrapbook. as you can see, me and V already got some badass scrapbooks. I picked em up at some old lady store for $10 a piece. Mine has guns all over it and-
  • Dylan: *interrupting* but I wanted the one with the guns on it
  • Eric: you're getting the one with the cats on it or you can buy your own damn scrapbook
  • Dylan: but it's pink, that's not very godlike
  • Eric: we need our money for NBK, we can't go and buy you another scrapbook, let's just paint it black.
  • Eric: *walks across the room to closet*
  • Dylan: *follows while filming*
  • Eric: *opens closet*
  • Giant box: *is in closet*
  • Eric: *takes box out* good thing my parents don't search my room, they'd think I'm some kind of faggot with all this crafting supplies.
  • Dylan: *lol* reb take the camera so I can paint my godlike journal
  • Eric: *takes camera and films Dylan*
  • Dylan: *opens box* damn reb, this box is filled to the brim. It hasn't been this full since we made our godlike friendship bracelets
  • Eric: I told you I was getting shit for our crafting videos. Just paint the damn thing so we can move on
  • Dylan: *paints scrapbook black* we have to wait for it to dry now
  • Eric:
  • Dylan:
  • Eric:
  • Dylan: reb, does you mom have a hair dryer?
  • Eric: yeah but she's sleeping, we're going to have to sneak past the bed and get it out of the master bathroom
  • Dylan: ok let's go
  • Eric + Dylan: *walks upstairs*
  • Dylan: *steps on dog toy*
  • Dog toy: *makes noise*
  • Eric: FUCK, you better hope that didn't wake my parents up. how am i going to explain to them that their 18 year old son is making a scrapbook
  • Dylan: it's fine lets go
  • Eric + Dylan: *tip toes to the master bedroom door*
  • Eric: you wait out here, I'll go in and get it
  • Eric: *quietly opens door and slips inside*
  • Dylan: *films the closed door*
  • Dylan:
  • Door:
  • Dylan:
  • Sparky: *jumps on Dylan*
  • Dylan: NOOOO, get off, I hate dogs, you're going to get hair all over my trenchcoat!
  • Sparky: *is confused*
  • Sparky: *chases tail*
  • Dylan: oh my god reb hurry up
  • Door: *slowly opens*
  • Eric: *comes out with blow dryer* what the fuck was that V? We're lucky my parents didn't wake up.
  • Dylan: your dog attacked me
  • Eric: no he didn't, sparky's a good boy
  • Eric: *pets sparky* yes you are!!
  • Dylan: let's go back downstairs
  • Eric + Dylan: *sneaks downstairs*
  • Eric: *plugs in blow dryer and hands it to Dylan* there, dry it off quick
  • Dylan: *turns on blow dryer*
  • Blow dryer: *makes noise*
  • Eric: fuck, this thing is loud
  • Dylan: the paint is still wet, just wait a minute
  • Dylan: *continues blow drying scrapbook*
  • Upstairs: *makes noise*
  • Eric: fuck! Someone's awake! Turn that shit off!!
  • Dylan: wait it's almost dry
  • Staircase: *is making noises*
  • Eric: HIDE EVERYTHING!
  • Eric: *grabs the godlike scrapbooks and throws them out the window*
  • Dylan: my scrapbook!! Reb we just spent 20 minutes getting a blow dryer to dry it off and now you just throw it-
  • Door: *opens*
  • Dylan: *is holding blow dryer*
  • Eric: *is standing by the window*
  • Craft box: *lies open on the floor*
  • Eric's mom: boys! It is almost four o clock in the morning!! What on earth are you two doing?? Is that my hair dryer??!
  • Eric: *climbs out the window*
  • Dylan: *drops hair dryer* wait for me!!
  • Dylan: *climbs out the window*
  • Eric's mom: *climbs out the window* COME BACK HERE ERIC DAVID HARRIS!! DYLAN I AM CALLNG YOUR MOM!!!
  • Eric: *starting up car*
  • Dylan: *is in passenger seat*
  • Dylan: oh my god, oh my god
  • Eric: *drives away*
  • Dylan: where are we going??!
  • Eric: *is in tears* how am I going to explain all this shit to my parents??! They're going to be so disappointed in me!! Kevin is joining the marines meanwhile I'm making fucking scrapbooks in a basement!
every hollywood east asian role
  • old martial arts teacher with grey beard
  • dragon lady femme fatale with bladed chopsticks in hair, probably dies at the end
  • feisty action girl with black hair and a strand of another colour for edginess
  • north korean spy
  • subordinate woman/schoolgirl
  • funny asian guy with funny accent which is played for laughs
  • chinese soldier #56
  • male love interest lol just kidding 

anonymous asked:

I love your lists! If you happen to get the time for it, would you mind sharing some good babysitter!Killian fics? It's fine if that's not his actual job, but like if he's a friend or neighbor or something even who takes care of Henry for Emma sometimes. Thank you! You are so amazing to this fandom! <3

thank you anon! you’re a girl after my own heart. i’d love to talk off anon if you’d like. this trope is irresistible. writers, this trope is under-done and exciting!

Babysitter!Killian

Quite the Au Pair by @nowforruin [ Emma has never been one to ask for help – and she has a damn hard time accepting it when it’s offered. But the truth of the matter is, being a single mother is hard. When she places an ad for a nanny, he’s the last thing she expects - and exactly what she needs. ]

full-time and jealous by @thejollypirate [based on the prompt:  If you have time can you write a fic where Killian is the nanny and Emma is the single mom and he falls in love and maybe jealousy from his part but happy ending please?]

Killian babysits Henry

We Can’t Be Friends by FluentSarcasm [Emma Swan & Killian Jones have been best friends for over 15 years when she gets pregnant by her boyfriend Neal. When Neal dumps her and dies soon after, Killian steps in to help her raise Henry. Emma’s realization that she’s been in love with Killian all along forces her to admit that maybe she doesn’t want to be just friends anymore.]

For Once, Let Go by @whisperofgrace [ Modern AU. Emma picks Henry up from her long-time friend Killian’s house after her job has turned his short babysitting role into an overnighter.]

Please, Please Say You Feel It Too by @cutieodonoghue [ captain swan modern au; Emma pawns her son off to her neighbor Killian. Romance ensues. (Daddy!Killian feels abound!) ]

On Outstanding Roommates by @effulgentcolors [Based on this tumblr prompt: “you’ve been sleeping at mine because your house is being renovated and we aren’t even dating, yet every time you wake up to the baby crying and sigh, “i’ll go” i feel like we might as well be married.“ ]

Not A Babysitter by @effulgentcolors [Based on this tumblr prompt: "i asked you to babysit one time and now my child keeps asking when you will spend time with them again”. ]


I’d love to see more nanny!killian fics, anyone got time for prompts?

  • Sun: Hey, Neptune, I've got a question.
  • Neptune: Sure, what is it?
  • Sun: So I've got a thing for Blake.
  • Neptune: Of course, continue.
  • Sun: Yeah, well, she's also got this hot mom who I think is into me.
  • Neptune: So you're wondering which one you should go for.
  • Sun: Nah man, Blake's the only one for me. Her mom would be a side chick at best.
  • Sage, not looking up from his newspaper: How chivalrous.
  • Sun: I know, right?
  • Sun: Anyways, I was thinking that if it ever ends up like one of those pornos, and I have sex with both at the same time, will I lose my virginity twice? Will I reach -1 virginity? Is that a thing
  • Neptune: ............................
  • Sun: What?
  • Neptune: No, I'm thinking about it. Damn, that's a good question.

It seems like Ishida is taking a page from Kishimoto and turning his female characters into useless love interests.

Originally posted by wendywilliamsgifs

3

If there is one thing Boyang unequivocally and undeniably smokes the rest of the competition in, it’s his banquet suit and fashion game 👀🔥🔥🔥 (sources: X, X, X)

RP Starters for Tall Muses
  • Reblog this meme if your muse is tall! To be sent from short/shorter muses.
  • "Can you grab that for me?"
  • "Why do you have to be so damn TALL?"
  • "How tall are the people in your family?"
  • "I hope your/our kids get your height."
  • "How does it feel to stare at the top of my head all the time?"
  • "There's one thing that's good about you being tall--the hugs."
  • "You're the tallest person I've ever seen."
  • "How tall are you?"
  • whiskey: says literally one word
  • me: sign me the FUCK up 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit
Fire Emblem Heroes wishlist

• Either add Hero Feathers as micro transactions or lower the cost for promoting 4* to 5* because good god damn no one has time for that
• Kieran. Please. I need him.
• Increase Arena Hero Feather season rewards because there’s like no incentive outside of quests
• Make it less likely for you to get duplicate 3* when summoning because I’ve wasted so many orbs and gotten jack and shit
• FUCKING NERF TAKUMI HOLY SHIT

lowbloodkiwi  asked:

I always want to talk about langst- specifically for Lance to get captured, create a damn good plan to get all the prisoners out, and then watch as it works for everyone except himself. "You guys were going to need a distraction. That's what I do best." The others have to watch as they rocket farther and farther away, not knowing if lance will still be alive by the time they can get back. (They are shocked that lance thought of himself as just a distraction and don't know if they caused that)

Ahhhh I was so excited to write this one!

I hope you like it!!

They were all locked up. It wasn’t any of their faults.  They were ambushed by a ‘peaceful’ village. The next thing they knew was that they were in a cell with 7 other prisoners.

Shiro wasn’t much help since he constantly freaked out whenever a guard came near the cell. The only Shiro would say was ‘I can’t go back’ on repeat.

Lance didn’t blame him though, Shiro already did his time as prisoner, and he didn’t deserve this.

Keith was too injured to help, his leg was broken. Lance (along with another prisoner) helped build a small splint for Keith but he was still in pain 24/7.

Hunk was a complete mess, he tried not too but he cried almost every hour of the day. Lance tried to ignore the small whimpers that could be heard throughout the cell. Lance wanted to help him but he could only do so much before he would cry with Hunk. That didn’t help either of them.

Pidge attempted to act like she wasn’t bothered by the fact that they were prisoners, but she could keep up the façade forever. Every time a guard came to the door she would flinch. Every time a prisoner came back all bloody she would shake for hours.

Lance didn’t blame any of them. There were only human after all. Lance wanted to get them out of there. He wasn’t going to rely on Allura finding them.

Lance started to strategize with a few of the prisoners. He learned where the extras ships were located. He started to learn the century’s patterns. Lance took in as much information as he could. Lance even went as far to volunteer for the druid’s experiments. They were painful and usually ended in him crying out in Spanish begging for the end. However when Lance was being dragged back to his cell, he memorized the path he would need to take to get to an extra ship.

After a week of planning Lance finally figured out a plan to get everyone out. He slowly started to share the plan with everyone in the cell.

First the needed to cause a disturbance so the guards would be forced to intervene and open the cell. Once the guards were inside the cell, they would knock them out and leave the cell, staying out of the century’s sight. Once they reached the bridge they would get on a ship and fly out of here.  

It was perfect, but just like most things it went wrong.

-

One of the prisoners screamed and started to thrash on the floor. Lance was impressed with their acting skills and quickly focused on the guard that entered the cell to stop them from freaking out.

Once their back was too Lance, Lance took him down with a single punch. The guard laid on the floor still breathing.

“Let’s go.” Lance picked up Keith and started to lead the way out of the cell.

Every corner, Lance would stop and count to 15. Once the century passed he would move.

They were almost to the bridge when Lance saw guards all over the bridge.

“Shit. They’re everywhere.” Lance scanned the room and found no place to sneak in.

“What will we do?” Hunk asked and he started to shake.

Lance closed his eyes, he couldn’t fail this. Distraction.

“Hunk, take Keith and make sure he is taken care of.” Lance warped Keith’s arm around Hunk’s neck. “Stay out of sight till the coast is clear.” Lance started to run another direction.

“Lance wait!” Shiro reached out for Lance, “What are you doing?”

Lance looked back at his teammates and the other prisoners. “You guys needs a distraction. That’s what I do best.” Lance smiled and bolted down another hallway, leaving everyone behind.

Lance ran into the room where the druids worked. Thank God they aren’t here. Lance went over to one of the shelves and started to mix chemicals together. He had watched one of the Galra’s do this when the thought that he was knocked out. Lance grabbed the new mixture and ran out of the room.

I need to get to a place where this will bring attention to. Lance skidded to a stop in front of the communication center. Please let this work. Lance opened the door and chucked the bottle through, causing an explosion as soon as it broke.

-

Shiro watched with wide eyes as the bridge started to clear, all the Galrans running towards and explosion with their guns drawn. When the coast seemed clear enough Shiro motioned everyone forwards and they all managed to get inside a ship without any trouble.

Shiro immediately flew the ship away from the bridge as fast as he could. They were about 5 minutes away when Pidge spoke up. “Is that all he thought he was? A distraction.”

Hunk and Shiro thought back to what Lance said and realized.

“No, no, no, no! That’s the last thing that Lance thought!” Hunk pulled at his hair fighting back tears.

Shiro sat in silence, simply focusing on piloting the ship. “I hate to say it but he probably did. Coran has mention to me that Lance feels unwanted and useless around us. He feels like the 7th wheel.” Shiro tighten his grip on the controls.

Hunk started to cry again and Pidge closed her eyes, praying that he didn’t truly believe that.

-

“So blue paladin, you have cause a big deal of trouble for us.”

Lance attempted to pull his hands apart but failed quickly. He was on his knees, hands tied behind his back, his head was bleeding making it hard to see and to top it off he was in front of Prince Lotor.

“You helped all of my prisoners escape and steal one of my ships. I will say that you were an excellent distraction, too bad your friends can’t thank you for saving their lives.” Prince Lotor walked closer to Lance and help his chin in his hands. “Oh what we have in store for you.”

Lance smiled at Lotor. “Bring it big ears.”  

Hero Lance? I like that.

Sorry it took me so long to answer!

I hope you like it!!

Thank You for this! <3